But his story seemed such a likely one?
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But his story seemed such a likely one?
Well he hadn't descended into swivel-eyed racism so I guess it has to be Smiff. That little exile didn't last long did it, I for one am shocked.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the moderators frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were horaced and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mert's by eternal right.
Took John's soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
Spikey touched my heart Hammer touched my soul.
They changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was horaced by you.
Goodbye my Horace.
Goodbye my forum.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a horacer but when I wake,
You can't ban my account - it's my posts you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you rage, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you seething for a while.
I know your posts and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my Horace.
Goodbye my forum.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so horace, baby, I'm so horace.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so horace.
Cool. Anyway looking forward to the next one Bish. Shame you're so one dimensional.
In fairness, that's a much better attempt than anything Harold has made.
Also 'Sexual Horacement' was quals bants.
I might have made an error. There was this bird I was involved with for about a fortnight in my first year of sixth form, but she was a bit weird and I decided against it so broke things off, but in a pretty immature and unpleasant way. I'm not sure exactly, but I think i just started ignoring her texts or something.
I've done loads of awkward bumping into to her over the last 5 years and felt bad about it, so started chatting to her on fb and we sorta made peace and stuff. Been getting on reasonably well and she invited me round for dinner. I got really trashed in Sheffield a few weeks ago and sent her a drunken message saying something like "yea i'll come round but just to let you know this ISN'T romantic i'm not like seeing it as a date i'm single and enjoying being single so don't get the wrong impression". Bit cringe the day after but probably not a bad idea.
Anyway, I went round for dinner on Tuesday. It was biryani, and a pretty delicious one at that. She was already a bit tipsy and clearly very nervous when I arrived, and as she drank more wine she got more and more flirty. In the end I was quite drunk too and just went "FUCK IT WHY NOT" (not internally, I actually said that) and we had sex. Even during the meal she asked about my "tinder bitches" and I told her quite honestly about the dates I have lined up, so I figured she understood I hadn't changed my mind, but was just happy for a bit of no strings debauchery. I'm just hoping she hasn't gotten her hopes up because the awkward bumping into each other would be much worse if I break her heart for the 2nd time after making an effort to apologise for the 1st time. Ah well, I don't think I've done anything wrong.
When is the wedding?
How this ends:
https://i.amz.mshcdn.com/X1f2_8I3At5...rtFlamingo.gif
Alpha af tbhQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Lass has fucked off for the five months, left a week ago. We've been in touch a lot (I've taken her lead on it and she's been contacting often) but she went into Russia yesterday morning and I've not heard from her since.
She's probably just homesick. When she gets used to it and her life gets more interesting the contact will probably be less and less, if at all.
Is there an 'arrangement' at all, Hammer? I'm just wondering about other people - what happens if you meet someone else, for example?
Yeah she is only letting lads Putin their dicks up the back passage, keeping the front for Hammer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Weaver
Thought you cried off here for being called a try hard?
Something something erection and your mum joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
lol, the Hammer and Fickle.Quote:
Originally Posted by Townsend
Does this mean Haystacks has stopped now?
Right enough I haven't seen a big pile of him lately.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
The only two members with catchphrases. :sherlock:
About to meet my date for the evening. Ahhh we get on really well and she's really fit wish me luck lads xx
Rip.
So Magic whose your wife fucking this week?
Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Is there any need to be rude?
More than yours, I'd wager.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
You can't really strop about people being dicks if you post stuff like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Magic's been calling me cancer for like a year straight. I haven't a single fuck to give.
Terminal. :yn:
Be a dick to someone who literally wrote essays trying to help you and then act surprised when they stop being nice.
I think you're all gonna love the new 'bruh' very much.
It's all fun and games until someone goes too far and someone's feelings get hurt. Just apologise. This is a mans marriage we're talking about.
You can see why they have so many workplace massacres.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I really feel like @bruhnaldo needs to apologise. So rude.
If this is what cultural advancement gets you I say we start burning the books.
https://pics.me.me/when-youre-usuall...t-24077063.pngQuote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
it went well. i've known her for about 3 years and fancied her the whole time, and after a few drinks she told me she'd always fancied me. slightly annoyed i never made a move when i first knew her cus i just assumed there was no chance. stating the obvious, but low self-esteem can really make you self-sabotagingly stupid.
i told her i had work today but she said that her plan for the evening was to take me home and i didn't take much convincing. she's really cool and very dirty. yay.
i think possibly the best thing about my recent unprecedented sexual success (i've doubled the number of girls i've shagged in 2017 alone) is that i really don't fear rejection in the way i used to. i asked out this bird a few weeks ago when i was about 90% sure she would say no, and she did say no, and it was fine. whereas in the past i'd still be terrified when it was pretty obvious a girl liked me.
Why is that? Something specific happen or is it a feature of hitting rock bottom?
I don't know where I am. Everything is "fine", But it's 12 weeks before I become a dad. Am I ready? Pfobably not. Have her tits got fucking massive, yes. Am I sucking them, nope.
with the exception of 10 minutes of attempting to put my largely flaccid cock into an obese australian woman whilst totally wankered i didn't have sex between September 2013 and September 2016, so that covers the rock bottom bit. i spent most of 2016 pining after this really fit female friend, to the point i told a load of my mates on holiday in brighton whilst a bit pissed (they're also mates with her) that i was just going to tell her i really fancied her and see what happened, if only to put myself out of my misery and move on. to the surprise of my mates i actually did it, and to everyone's surprise including my own she told me she felt the same way. that definitely helped a lot, and i dread to think what would have happened if she told me to fuck off.
other than that i guess losing a lot of weight and having a relatively stable job for the first time ever and once i snogged a couple of sexy ladies i was off and running. it probably helps that i'm a disgusting pervert at heart with a very broad taste in women.
Has anyone drank the mother to be tit's milk? Were you wanking when you did it?
I think I'd happily drink that shit, but she isn't in the mood right now. If you hadn't guessed.
I drank my mom's milk when she was preggo with my sister...
Interesting board we all frequent, really.
Joe :wave:
Can we stop referring to women as 'females'?
Any update?Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
You're a strange guy, aren't you?
Yeah, that's just fucking sad.
Got made fun of in another thread so felt the need to kick out at someone else. Embarrassing.
Fuck Magic and fuck you too lol idc