Of course, she wont be done with him for another year before needing to find a new victim. /JusticeforMagic.
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Of course, she wont be done with him for another year before needing to find a new victim. /JusticeforMagic.
There's far more respectable ones out there so you've no need to use that shit show. You don't seem to be ready for that stage regardless though, there's no rush.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Remember when people on here were arsing about with Plenty of Fish for that thread and nickfootie found his own sister?
:lol:
Wasn't DS luring some weirdos too, and nickfootie had to implore him not to target his sister?
As I recall the thread was on the wind-up with fake accounts and as they were enjoying all the bants Nick found his sister on there.
I think somebody said they'd found her but I dunno if they actually had or if he just had the fear enough to entertain the notion.
I'm really addicted to bumble.
Lol at the shit chat up lines. You can tell who is experienced.
No luck with matching really so I got fed up of being notified I'd BEEN LIKED without knowing anymore...so I signed up to premium at £12 a month, for 6 months.
And it was all horrific fat ugly birds.
:D
I've been conned, lads.
That's how they get you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Just saw someone on tinder whose bio had in it "Expecting my first child. Sadly things didn't work out so doing it alone."
Fucking hell.
I've avoided Tinder thus far but might go back. Desperately need convincing I'm not an ugly troll now.
£12 a month to approach women? :cab:
Well, he met his last one at school and he'd go on a register if he tried that now.
Sounds like a great deal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Pretty much. I think it's good. Can't imagine doing it IRL.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Im starting to get shook now. Im going drop-in clinic this afternoon.
No point in signing up for the 6 month subscription for you then.
He's posting in the wrong thread now. Definitely syphilitic.
Why not?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Expand your social circle to silly levels. Attend events, join clubs, catch up with old friends. You never know what hidden gems lie in the potential aquaitances.
Cut the BS and go snorkeling with Sincere.
Because its awkward.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
"Just be more confident!" in 3.... 2.....
Play it cool.
You're probably nowhere near ready the stage for anyone else at all, unless you're just looking for a ride. In which case Tinder is exactly the spot.
I need experience. Not going to get that in a basement.
How quickly can you suggest meeting? This texting stuff is doing my head in.
As soon as possible imo, there's nothing worse than trying to maneuver romantically over text.
Of course, I say that as someone who's never been on a Tinder date or anything, Okay Amigo notwithstanding.
Tell her to meet you in a Tesco parking lot when the moon has reached its zenith
If you're just out for banging some sloooooots, then crack on, but a new relationship would be a disaster right now.
Yeah fuck that, just something casual but more than a one night stand. Defo not a relationship.
Thats a slippery ass slope. I suggest committing to one night stands for a while. Or at the very least preserve utmost emotional distance from anyone you're seeing. Sounds whack but true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Get a sugar baby.
Get an atomic kitten.
Kerry Katona might still be in Iceland.
How is that slippier than quick wins?Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
“Something casual but not a one night stand” quickly turns into “i’ve been seeing this girl for a month and i’m so emotionally vulnerable that i’ve fallen deeply in love already” and then “she’s stopped texting me”Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Take a few pages out of Igors book and Facebook live the suicide when it all goes wrong.
It really doesn't.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
For you, it will
Maybe 7 months ago. Not now. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
FYI the bitch asked me for money today to cover a summer club. I told her to do one on the basis I pay maintenance already and more, plus I can't see her anywhere near as much I'd like.
Pay on the basis you take her?
:D cuntQuote:
Originally Posted by Manc
He's already paid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
I have... A DATE.
Don't end up blocking her or anything stupid like that.
What you mean?
Sowing a seed.
Do it for the thread.
Igor has been bullied into silence by Shinners and Waff is lodged firmly under thumb, so we need this shit.
Snogged a sexy girl in a nightclub last night lads waaaay
Had some fucking wicked donner meat and chips afterwards too. Here I am taking in the ambiance of Norwich kebab and pizza : https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...10&oe=5DC58359
Fair play that is a great photo. You need to release a mixtape just to use that photo on the cover.
What even...this is like dating advice from a paedophile uncle.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Come on lads.
Toggle Spoiler
I mean you still have enough shit to go through in your own life without adding another complication. You should barely be dating at all yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I reckon Magic should give gay a go. He might have to thumb it in soft for a while, but after a few months positive association I reckon you're golden.
You're right, I should abandon any hope of minimal joy and just focus on my shit life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Is Igor holding change in that shot or just aggro that he didn't secure?
Yeah, you sound ready.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Igor's mixtape of novelty songs called 'Take Me to Your Bacon'. Tosser.
"Zany Stories from the Train".
Ready for what lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Why would I wait? What am I waiting for? I need to build connections now and learn what is and what isn't. Not going to do that if I keep myself to myself.
Thumbing.
Whereas youd just have a bunch of covers of racist old folk songs and a haunting ballad about wanting to fuck your dog.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Do you want to collaborate on a track
Not anymore.
https://youtu.be/GX3ENRaEPFUQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I arranged it on the same night as my daughter's dance show.
Giggles is right. I'm a disgrace.
I never said you were a disgrace. I'm not very good with the words and stuff but I do hope it all goes great from here on in for you.
Agreed, you're a good man mj and I hope you shag lots of lovely and gross girls soon.x
Thumb.
it in
Ply Waff with enough booze and I'm sure he'd be willing to be on the receiving end.
Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Picture proves lies are being told.
You look like a chimp fucked Norm from the Twix advert and your wife was alright.
Wtf are you going on about? Still got the mullet.
That picture is actually proper good. Bam i bet you weigh 400 pounds
He wishes.
That was meant to refer to John's mullet, but it works for both.
He has rat features.
0.181 tonnes.
I was talking to a geezer at work about 'dog years' the other day - because we had nothing but actual work to do otherwise - and we decided that there is no reason that animal units shouldn't be used as an appropriate time measure. Why is it a 'working week' rather than a 'Gnats life'? Wouldn't your dreams seem more attainable if they were only 'a Turtles fortnight' away? Shouldn't we measure Chimp Outs in Chimp minutes?
We're on to something.
Anyway. As you were.
I’m happily thumbed xQuote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
Yes magic.
Snapchatting a local bird. Not sure if she's fat.
Go and meet her. You could be a Terapin deep within a Wasps month.
She's a stylist lol. I'd really hoped for an entrepreneur or executive but my Tinder likes are so low I'll actually contemplate minimum wage.
Seriously my like/match ratio must be like 3000-1.
Getting plenty of likes from the cast of Men in Black.
Welcome to online dating.
I completely overestimated it. Eye opener for sure. Still better than immediate rejection on approach in person though. :drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Never knew that a ton and a tonne are actually different measurements. Why tf is thatQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
If he'd said 'half a Whales cock' we'd all know where we stand.
Whats going on with you and animals recently?
How recently are we talking?
2 years.
As long as it takes a turkeys gizzard to freeze then.
I told some girl I was in the bath reading and naturally she asked what it was. I didn't actually forsee that stupidly. I was reading a book called DEEPER DATING. In my dad's bath. Drinking a cup of chamomile tea.
Nonce. :cool:
I told her I was pulling the plug with my penis.
Should've just told her it was a footy biography or some shit
What did you say you were reading?
Did you tragically overcompensate?
The new me is open and honest, so whilst not telling the absolute truth, I told her I was reading a mindfulness book which I am, just not right at that moment. Still makes me out to be a complete mook, but not a desperately sad, lonely mook.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
I mean whether or not you look like 'a mook' really only matters if your only aim is a ride.
Otherwise if you wanna have tea while reading in the bath then you own that shit and maybe you'll find the lovely, tea-in-the-bath companion of your dreams.
That's very true. She was doing a law degree so maybe she'll appreciate it #noreplysofar
This is going to turn me in to an incel eventually.
Maybe she can help you with the divorce proceedings. Win-win.
The secret to online dating is securing the digits asap and communicating away from the platform.
How many digits? Middle 3?Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
How many toes have you got room for?
You should be going through solicitors. I'm gonna wipe the floor with him he called yesterday telling me he wanted to sell and wanted to pay me less and wanted money. Once all the debts cleared and the fees for selling and seperating there won't be fuck all left for him to get. Stupid cunts not thought about it at all before he left. I'm away to screw him up royally xxx
Well I sure know how to pick 'em. This thread will be kept alive by me forever and my disgraceful choices.
Wut?
You certainly have a type.
Unhinged. :drool:
Rattle her back doors off.
Who?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
From context, the girl he's talking to's ex.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Is he buying a house off Magic?Quote:
Originally Posted by John
I'm out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Quote:
Originally Posted by John
I'm not quite getting how the ex of a girl he's talking to (for what can only be about 12 hours) is already at the stage of calling him and asking for money. And if you're talking about the right person I don't know what the paying and selling is meant to be about.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
That’s from the chick he is talking to. Sentence 1 is in response to magic spilling his story.
The rest is her story about her getting ready to fuck her ex over in her own separation.
That’s how I read it anyway
Set her to war against your ex.
Makes sense, I'll assume he deleted the preceding posts that got to posting her texts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny
Ya I've read that shit like 5 times and still don't get it so best of luck
Tinder is really not going well for me. Only trolls and far away people seem to like me. 10 matches and one of them is a psycho, most don't reply after a couple of messages. I thought this was supposed to be easy.
Is PoF still on the go? It would be way less shite than tinder.
Can't see it being any good in a place like this. Bumble is atrocious and Hinge is just as bad in terms of population nearby. Tinder is the most popular but its full of time wasting ego boosting cunts. I signed up to Match but you have to pay for even basic usage, and I've already spent nearly 100 quid on Bumble and Tinder. :D
I thought Tinder and Bumble were both free? or do you pay for extra things?
U wot m8Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I pay to see who likes me thinking I'd get a much better idea and more matches.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
That hasn't turned out to be the case, and I've plumbed new depths.
Bumble I don't think it makes much difference, but from personal experience Tinder without paying anything is like playing on super hard difficulty. I matched nowt but Russian spambots and 20 stone ladies I accidentally swiped right on for the couple of months I didn't spend anything, whereas with the boosts etc I might match with and have stilted conversation with a handful of 5/10s in the same amount of time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
I also find that i go through peaks and troughs without any rhyme or reason on that stupid app. Around April it was going amazingly, and I managed to somehow end up going on 3 dates in 3 days ( @Boydy can vouch that one of them was unfeasibly fit as well), then a few months of not even matching when I lowered my standards a bit, and now it's suddenly gotten good again. Got a date with an interesting German girl lined up for next week - she's funny and smart and I really, er, dig her vbes or whatever, but the photos are quite hard to judge. Or to be blunt, she could be anything from average weight to borderline obese. I quite like curvy ladies so as long as it's not too far along the chubbiness spectrum I have highish hopes.
Forget about miss right and go for miss right now.
I can't find miss anything apart from miss fucking hell.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Fancy Miss Eastern Europe?
I reckon POF is best. You can talk to anyone without matching and if you put even a little thought into your message, they will respond. There's more bots but just ignore them.
Or go a pub and chat in rl.
Baz you pull a lot at the bar do you?
TBF Baz would have a decent lad banter game if he didn't look like such a threat to society.
There was a photo he took of this absolute babe he'd been chatting with in the Krazyhouse in Liverpool, she's even flitatiously flipping him the bird. Still got the photo, @Baz ??Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
I’ve been with my wife for over ten years so a bit rusty.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Empathise with me then you bastard.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Feel like dating is a lot different now than 10 years ago tbf but I also couldn't tell you as I've been single just as long
i'll wank you off for a fiverQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I just feel like you were quick to get on the dating apps. Don’t you have mates to go out for a few pints with and approach girls while you’re out?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Apologies if you don’t.
Maybe I just think it’s easier than it actually is, as I don’t have to do it. Sorry, I’ve never been in that situation to really know what it’s like, I suppose. Good luck though.
Get Mahow to do it. It might boost his self-esteem.
Just resort to dick pics like the rest of THELADS magic.
Or alternatively find friends of friends introductions are good.
As an aside, my girlfriend keeps getting drunk and asking me if I love her. Pretending not to hear or understand her isn't fooling her any more. Awks.
Could always be honest about it like you know what I really enjoy spending time with you but I'm not really ready to label my feelings for you because I'm still trying to understand them myself and it wouldn't be fair to rush things just to use words that maybe we're not ready for just yet.
100% confirmed.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...63/430/3a0.jpg
Shirtless Kiko in the background, holding his flip flops.
What a night that was. Was only meant to be an informal fucking lager.
I have individual mates but not a group or anything. I mean what even is approaching a girl. That concept terrifiies me without prior research and knowledge.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Also are dating apps perceived as a last resort then?
No such thing when the Man of the People is out and about.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
I actively reject I'd have a conker like that on my face.
Not really a last resort because they're so handy, but I wouldn't throw all my eggs in that basket either.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
The worst thing is talking to a women for the first time, in real life face-to-face. She then tells you to continue communciation via some app :moop:
I hope to fuck I'm never single again. It seems like a right ballache. Whatever happened to getting wankered in the same nightclub every weekend, sucking the face off of randoms until you end up stuck with one?
People decided to try and copy what they saw on American TV and do "dating".
Echo this. Me and current wifey met on POF. Was probably on the platform for half a year. Met three great girls and locked down the gold tier.Quote:
Originally Posted by P_3
You (MJ) sound desperate AF. Women can sense these things.
Current wife? You not in it for the long haul then??
I can't sound desperate if cunts won't message me back.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Or that's the reason they aren't messaging back...
Because they get a response? I see. So what you're saying is don't message?Quote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
You’re probably being really boring. As far as i remember you’re quite good looking for a Scot so the former is likelier
I said nothing of the sort. I think you've placed way too much emphasis on dating when really you should just ease up and let nature takes its course. Meet within the first week, any longer is a pen pal, don't talk about your ex, be open and honest about what you are looking for, have a good sense of humour, be a gent and don't expect to cap it off with sex purely because someone agreed to go on a date.
You should focus on yourself, join groups, volunteer for things that interest you so you're not only being active and social, you're also not a picture on a website that gets lost amongst the masses, you're a real life breathing person but then I don't really know your story, MJ. I take it she binned you.
Yeah I think I am a wee bit. Then again subjective. I'm not a LAD by any stretch of the imagination.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
I think I'll stop going on these dating things but keep my profile on so people don't think I've fucked it up so quickly.
There's thousands of people on them so it won't be noticed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Ahh mj you're a handsome man and I look like tubes off of soccer am/the guy from Keane before he got thin and I still do OKAY. Don't give up. Smiffys advice is pretty solid tbf.
I knew the posts about licking your wife’s battery acid flavoured stench trench were all an act!
Passive aggressive females. Nowt worse.
I see your passive aggressive and raise you a feminist.
yes I hate hate women who think they're equal to menQuote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
Feminists with social EQ and genuine interests are the coolest type of women
It's not really that it's the insistence even in obvious cases.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Like how "the US Women's National Team should make more than the men's team" because they're actually good against other women but then also will literally lose 5-2 to the FC Dallas U15's.
Feel like there's a difference between "equality" and "equal" that people are missing.
I just changed my FB status to single to troll the wife even though we're still married.
Looks like she more than beat me to it! Fucking bitch.
Is she single?
Well the status has been removed from married so it doesn't say and I was a 'family member' from husband. Obviously she isn't single so that's maybe why and she's limiting what I can see. Who cares anyway I just feel like I'm one step behind everything she does. Grr.
Presumably all that means you're 'friends' on it still so the first thing to do is unfriend her because she hasn't done it yet but, more importantly, it'll be another step in moving on when you're not looking at her profile at all.
You always will be behind her when you focus on mundane bullshit like a Facebook status and what she's doing as opposed to doing shit yourself.
Give your head a wobble, Magic ffs. You can be better than that.
Facebook statuses? Come on dude.
I'm not focusing on it I've literally spent about 5 minutes there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
It's a good metaphor for how it's going so far. She's ruined me every step of the way. At least I'm aware now but can't seem to ever catch up. Waiting for the solicitor's letter in the post...
You don't need to "catch up", you just need to live your life your own way.
I still don't know what the crack is and there's no way I'm hunting it out on my mobile but hear this.
Who gives a fuck. Has she ruined you or has she given you the opportunity to be a better version of yourself. It's all outlook. You should be so busy with life and enjoying yourself that a letter in the post isn't even on your radar and when it finally does arrive, you wanna make sure you're in a position to just go "lol her loss".
Newsflash: I have a child. I've been caught off guard at every stage of this, with deceit and lies. If it was as simple as that (which believe me I thought it was) I wouldn't be in a basement terrified about how badly I've fucked this up by taking the above approach.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Magic you seem to be pretty smart. I realize it's a cartoon but there's a line from Rick and Morty that always hit me.
"When smart people become happy they start to not recognize themselves."
I feel like you're just waiting for bad things to happen so you can justify being miserable at some stage. Going on her facebook looking to see what her relationship status is? It's over papa. There's absolutely no point in trying to keep score and "1-up" here at any opportunity.
Women, in general, are viscous beasts who specialize in mental terrorism. She's likely already thought of all the little tiny things she could do to hurt you or get ahead of you. You walking straight into these traps are just what she wants.
As much as folks would like to be amicable and etc. etc. she wants you to be fuckin miserable. She wants her to be the best thing that ever happens to you.
Don't prove her right by sitting around in your own sadness.
Get a fucking hobby. Start going to the gym. If you do go to the gym, join one of those like crossfit things where lots of people go to work on a common goal together. Make new friends and connections.
I know you're a handsome lad but your own mental demons are holding you back. Stop giving into them.
No, it's not "just that easy" but if you take small steps here and there you're going to sort it out.
Love isn't the most important thing in life. Being connected to another person isn't the end-all, be-all of living. In fact, it's almost cowardly in my eyes to try and hitch onto another person just to try and find meaning and happiness in life.
You have to sort these things out yourself. You like football, obviously cause you're here, maybe go volunteer with the local kids as like a coach or a referee or something of the sort. Pick up a new sport to follow and throw yourself into it.
Make a list of "things you always wanted to do". Try and mark one off every couple weeks or so. Maybe you wanted to learn to fly planes or some kinda shit... go fuck off and take lessons.
Sitting around during your downtime and trying to score imaginary points from facebook is fucking USELESS.
Other people's opinions are FUCKING USELESS. Who cares what this cunt thinks anymore?!
Live for YOU and your daughter GOD DAMNIT.
i didn't realize i was typing an essay but for the love of fucking GOD man.
Yeah Magic, become a paedophile.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
“Women are vicious beasts who specialize in mental terrorism” alright Elliot Rodger
Just go with Mert to Turkey and bang some sloots.
I love it when Bruh goes full American on the pep talks.
Yeah you do have a child and that's the only reason for any interaction with your ex. Were you snooping on her social media for any reason to do with the child?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I woke up with the intention of scrolling back to see where it started and to see what the crack was.....it's been over 18 months MJ.....wtf lad?
I had it in mind that she got rid of you because you were a prick as that's all I recalled but talk about a role reversal. What the fuck happened to your wife?
Can we not.
MJ isn't really a prick these days. It's a bit boring tbh.
Aye, she's definitely taken that title off him.
I'll add mine anyway. Surely it can't have been missed that I've been on here a lot this last few days. We split for the final time over the weekend. She went to the coast, I stayed home. Enough is enough, I guess. Two years almost which wasn't bad but too much has gone on, too much said and tbh, I am far too selfish a person to give a shit. I think technically we split earlier than that as it all came a bit platonic. I'll get myself sorted swiftly then see what's about but I don't feel like I miss too much. I'm at ease being a loner. 8-)
But WHO is going to do the filming for your YouTube channel now?
I planned on using the vacant position to lure unsuspecting females into my lair where I'll proceed to love them, stroke them and ask them to stick the lotion back in the basket.
This would have been good advice like 8 months ago. I've done all of this.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
No. I only checked to see if I'd be the first to UNMARRY us on Facebook. Sidenote: I hadn't been on Facebook for about 2 years until last night.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
7 months. She was always a cunt. Just took me 11 years to realise that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
I know, I actually like who I'm becoming. Still a lot of mental cobwebs to clear out and there are too many reverting to type moments for my liking, but my path is good.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Can I also take this moment to express gratitude to you all. Deep, deep gratitude from the bottom of my heart. Without you guys, this forum, I'd be worse off without a shadow of a doubt.
It is so refreshing and liberating to be able to spill on here knowing that any knowledge won't have an impact on my real life situation. This is why I can't tell friends and family stuff as it will change views which will disrupt things.
Legends, all of you. And I've had some really nice PMs. :)
This is one of the most important things in it all and why you'll be so much better off in the long run. Good to hear.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Awww :wub:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Been going out with a girl for about 5 months now and things are looking rocky. pretty sure she's trying to break up with me via whatsapp tonight... maybe she already has? Quite confusing.
She's a really talented amateur athlete and it's really intense. Feels like she's leaning towards prioritising that over me, and has recently bought one of these vw camper van things and wants to go away into the countryside and train/explore and is disappointed by my lack of interest.
Surprising given I like to lift heavy at the weekend and don't do the same (outdoor) sport she does. A bit upsetting really because I do really like her, but I've had similar concerns for the long term. I feel like she wants me to change who I am to align with her lifestyle. I'm struggling with that idea. Bits of it are great but it's such a big shift. I'd basically have to pick up a new hobby.
Bit shit.
As she should. If you don't bring anything to the table. Your just in the way lad. Dont ever change either. If your not a match from day one, you two will never be happy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Compromise, Foe. You could go every other week for example. You can't stand in the way of someone who's got a talent they want to realise but equally, there's a few alarm bells in there for me that suggest immaturity. Firstly, rocky after five months isn't a good sign but the worst is not knowing whether she is trying to break up by text.
It's classless and tactless that. I don't know why people discuss important relationship issues via text. Call her up so nothing gets misconstrued you muppet.
If she's worth it, you'll adjust, if not, are you sure it's her looking for an out and not yourself?
What's her sport?
Bin her off.
Exactly. Sounds like you're a barrier and she's a passive aggressive coward.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Ive now been on back-to-back breakfast dates and is way better than any dinner date in the evening. I strongly recommend it.
A friend of mine used to swear by breakfast / daytime dates due to it being more informal than "we're going for dinner" and less pressure if you dunno what the other person is actually after than just going and getting tanked.
Its way less hassle and headache. They type of women I seem to attract think im a weirdo when I suggested breakfast and shoot it down. They dont last long but the one im currently dating now, didnt hesitate at the idea.
Dogging, by the sounds of itQuote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
Hah. :D
She does triathlon.
Pretty well too, apparently.
That's one of the "everyone is a winner" sports, so tell her to chillax.
What new hobby would you need to pick up? I'm sorry that I'm not really following.
If she wants to go be a gypsy in the woods so she can train day and night or whatever the fuck ya, I'd be slightly off about uprooting my entire life to explore the countryside.
Cycling primarily.
She wants me to be excited by upping sticks at short notice to jaunt off into the countryside to stay in a camper van and do pretty long, fast road cycles.
She travels all over the country to compete though. She did an 18 hour round trip a couple of weekends ago to compete. Not sure after a week of work spending 40% of my weekend travelling to be around her competing in a sport I have little interest in is that appealing.
I did try cycling last weekend and it wasn't great, but not complete torture so I'd at least be open to trying/do it on occasion. However my initial (and ongoing) lack of enthusiasm is being held against me.
It's taken her 5 months to realise I don't do the same sport as her or have a similar interest in campervan adventures and apparently it's a pretty big issue.
Giving her some space at the moment, but fully expect a breakup in the coming days. Sad in part because I really like her, but she's being so unbelievably stubborn (whilst being annoyed I'm also being stubborn) that perhaps it's for the best.
Is she good at an elite level to become professional and earn a living? If yes, if you have it in you. You should put your dreams on hold and assist her chase her own.
How are her tyres?
Nah. Triathlons not that kind of sport. She wants to qualify to compete for team gb in future though, so she's clearly got a drive.
I suspect she's factoring that in - maybe she thinks I'll detract from that dream/her ability. Which is fair enough in some respects, but you need to make a choice between a hobby and your personal life. She's trying to merge the two, which she will struggle with with anyone who isn't in the same sport or a complete wuss walkover.
Is she at least a 7, looks wise?
Cos if not this is a lot of unnecessary commotion.
I think she's very pretty. Far too pretty for me.
Should point out that she also does a very good job also, so if we did ever settle down together we'd live an extremely comfortable life (in the woods, in a camper van, eating baked beans).
Just give it a go. If you enjoy it, great. If not, at least you tried.
Camper van adventures sound pretty fun but the cycling less so.
Yeah that's what I did last weekend. It was alright but not great.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
I'd do it again tbf, but she didn't seem impressed because my initial reaction was pretty indifferent. Offered to buy a road bike myself... that got shot down pretty quick.
It's doomed. She just needs to get it over with.
Back to pumping random fat birds for a bit most likely.
Well, you tried her hobby, maybe she'll shag fat birds with you?
Sounds like you want out, Foe.
Yeah I just don't know.
I think I'll be pretty gutted when it ends because she's great to be around, really fit and really pretty. She just has a shit hobby that's so far out of my comfort zone.
If she wasn't hot I'd have been out already.
Sounds like you're just horny. Jerk off and get rid.
As she uses her bike a lot and sounds passionate about it, I don't have to ask as I know already. Her tyres are A*Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
You should run away asap. People that demand others to like their own hobbies are the worst.
I live my life around people who spend extreme amounts of time on their chosen sport, and the relationships always work as long as:
a) the sporting partner understands that the non-sporting partner isn't going to be that interested, so the sport is 'time away' from them;
b) the non-sporting partner understands that the sport is very important to the sporting partner, so doesn't stand in the way of them trying to fulfil themselves doing it
c) the non-sporting partner understands that love for a person and love for a sport are not the same thing and shouldn't be compared ever
I think between you, you might be 0 out of 3 on this one.
Why? Sounds like she's being pretty unfair tbh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
She wants out and is merely using the whole sport idea as the route.
It's over.
Had my second snot-factory the other day. Proper family man now innit.
Pretty chuffed, bit terrified of how to handle 2.
Congrats mate. How old is the older one?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
We have a 3 and a half year old and an 8 month old. The early days were pretty tough as we struggled to get on top of babies reflux / cows milk allergy and our 3 year old was playing up out of jealousy, but aside from that it's been pretty easy in all honesty.
The Gods are going to make me pay for saying that.
Congrats Maz 😊
7 weeks til mine is due :uhoh:
It’ll be fine. Granted you’ll be tired all the time, but apart from that it’s pretty great.
The older they get the easier it is. They keep each other entertained half the time.
i found this to be completely untrue. The first 12 months are awful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pen
I guess it’s a lot about luck. Our boy hasn’t been very difficult, although raising a child is obviously very time consuming.
The first months we’re definitely the easiest. I do agree with Spikey in the long run
How much of your income (as a percentage) goes to the child once they turn up?
100
Very little. That will change by the time they reach school though.
Raising children, at least in here, isn’t that expensive. It all depends on so many things though it’s impossible to give a number.
I was thinking last night while reading this thread that I still really have no interest in having a kid. Then last night I had a dream that I was pregnant, and my child came out in my poo and died.
Thanks buddy. He’s 5. The jealousy bit is starting now a bit. I reckon if they are closer in age, its harder when they are small but gets exponentially easier when they get bigger, whereas our formula (big age gap) means somewhat easier time when they are small, but not as much benefit later (as they’ll not be in nursery at the same time, and maybe different schools, activities, etc).Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Cant fathom what people who have twins go through.
Hard to say really. Both Pen and Spikey are right in a way I think. Its not many specific costs (unless you live in the US and have to start saving for everything), as much as its a general change of your lifestyle.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Swedish banks claim the cost of raising a child until 18 years id roughly in the region of £70-80k, I think. Make of that what you will. But it REALLY depends. One thing that does get a lot pricier for instance is travel, as you have to pay for 3 or 4 people instead if 2, and budget options for flying and living are usually out of question.
And to some extent I suppose a lot of people move to bigger houses when they have their first or maybe their second kid, so that obviously plays a massive part as well.
Yeah, didn’t think about the living arrangements when I posted 😅
Before we had our son we lived in a small flat and now our new house is almost three times bigger which has doubled our expenses. We would’ve bought a flat at some point anyway, but deciding to have a child definitely played a big part in what we went for.
...the fuckQuote:
Originally Posted by dino
Interesting about the costs. Sounds like you pay more for the comfort compared to actual maintenance of the child.
It's more a change in lifestyle. I couldn't say how much I spend on my kids, all Bill's generally increase but also, disposable income is used for Peppa Pig world rather than the pub. I guess we spend the same amount of money, it's just not for us anymore.
I spend £200 a month on 'dancing', for starters.
What the fuck?Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
Raves or like learning to dance?
EDIT: I missed the kids bit.
.
Or just a building nearby you can leave the kid supervised whilst you sit at home for a couple of hours?
This basicallyQuote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Food, nappies etc are not a big expense. And because you're not having as much of a social life it balances out. Mines 2 and a half so we dont get any help yet on nursery costs. That's our biggest child expense. 70 quid a day to have him in nursery from 7.30am to 5.30pm. The mrs is part time so its only 2 days a week but mortgage aside its easily our biggest expense.
Sleep and generally tiredness is a far bigger problem then money generally when it comes to young children
Kids' dancing classes.
That's a bit of an overstatement, but it is how much I pay on a standing order just so I don't have to worry about getting horrendous bills three times a year.
Don't have daughters.
We struck gold on this. My daughter goes to nursery on Tuesdays and Fridays and those just happen to be the days that Dancing and Swimming lessons take place. £50 a term on each. Absolute bargain.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
Fuck me that’s steep for a nursery 😧 I think we’re in the highest bracket of fees (it caps really low meaning pretty much all two parent families are in there) and it works out under 300€ a month. Do you live in the States, or is that what people pay in the UK?Quote:
Originally Posted by neo_hippy
Moving in with the significant other today/tomorrow. We both turned 30 this year, we've been together two years, and it's the first time either of us have lived with a partner. I am muchos excited.
That's about what it costs. The benefits system is a bit of a joke in that if you are unemployed you are entitled to free child care from your kid turning 2, but if you are employed it's from when they turn 3. No idea why unemployed people need the child care or why they are being incentivised to not go into work, but here we are.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pen
If you do have to pay, it is very expensive. I worked full time compressed into 4 days for 2 years to avoid having to pay out on child care.
Ive been told that daughters are much easier to deal with in the long run compared to boys. You don't really have to worry about your daughter growing up and becoming a bum.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
No, you have to worry about all the perverts and rapists instead. Plus their ability to get pregnant. Plus their interest in older - noncey - men.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Chances of that happening are slimmer than the chance of him doing jail time. She will be out of your house with her own family by 25. Some man is still 30 living with their at parents. Gift and a curse I guess.
Put the money into a care home fund and don't bother having them at all. There's a fair chance that's where they'll put you anyway once they've cleared you out.
He'll be payng rent then.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
"You're not going out in those tyres."
I couldn't think of anything worse than having a child. It's a deal break for me now, if you want one, you're not getting with me. I lucked out with Banana but that brought different emotions as she wanted but couldn't even if I did.
I think my own useless father and seeing all six of my brothers and sisters have kids put me off.
Im so greatful that I have a son/step son in my life. Not sure if we will have kids together but Im loving life as it is.
Did that myself before but it wouldn't be for me. Maybe if the real father was dead or something but probably still not. Different strokes though I suppose.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
It still isnt easy at times Ill admit that but his dad is such an overwhelming fuck up that most of the time he refuses to see his father these days. I never speak poorly of him obviously because it isnt my place.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Ill be encouraging him into therapy when he is a bit older (10 atm) because he will need help unpacking all of it.
I don’t have any regrets about not being a father. There is still always time of course, but my life is all about me. Its best if it stays that way.
I enjoy spending time with some of my family and friends children but then i go my own way to a silent home. It seems really crazy raising children today. Google seems to get in the way and you cant really protect them from anything .
There's all sorts of spyware for parents these days. You can see where they are and monitor what they're doing on their phone from yours.
My colleague was telling me that her son's school has accounts rather than dinner money, and then she can keep track of what he chooses to eat. Throw in the online homework diaries they can look at, and them knowing how to block all of the filth on the home internet, and you wonder who actually won the Cold War.
Jesus, are you guys actually talking up the concept of spying on your childrens’ internet activities?
Imagine the level of spying that Magic will engage in.
My house is more successful than me. 6 weeks and 1 viewing. :cry:
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Single as fuck. Who’s coming off the rails with me
What happened?
She doesn’t think we want the same things etc. Mostly just the age gap, really.
Sounds familiar :moop:
What's the age gap? Tbf, she's a full on adult with a kid, and you're a partier. Enjoy it for what it was.
Use it to find out what you actually want.
I still want her but it’s done with now. Kids will be gutted and putting them to bed tonight wasn’t fun. She’s mellowed me right down. Just hope I stick to it. Taken drugs once or twice in about four months instead of every weekend and no more chasing losing bets.
Least I can go on holiday now.
Edit: 22/30
Add me on snap @mokbull. I'll cheer you right upQuote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
Waff and Magic do Magaluf.
:dance:
swear I had you on Snapchat before.
And Foe.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
How much have we got left in the board kitty?
We could always run another donation drive.
Waff = Jay
Magic = Simon
Foe = Neil
We need a Will. @John?
Clearly mike.
He's not Scottish enough.
I've never watched a second of The Inbetweeners so I'm not sure how to take that.
I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than spend ten seconds in Foe's company though so I'm out either way.
You'd be the clever one, but you'd also shit your pants, so win/win really.
What's wrong with Foe?
Many, many things. But I love him anyway.
Avoided a stabbing. Quality.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
Can we take baz please?
:wub:Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
You're making me blush.
You’ll have to submit holiday forms to my wife but I doubt they’ll get approved.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Yea u do, fuck meQuote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
Of all the people to have a problem with, Foe seems like an odd choice. Am I missing some sort of history between John and Foe?
They once had a fight over a comb.
@waff Do you want a wing man? 8-)
Maybe he’s metrophobic.Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
See this is tricky because if you raise your kids right, give them security and love, don't hit them, etc (basically be a decent parent to them), they will not end up in jail or what have you anyway, don't think the gender really matters.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
It's worrying about what would happen to them anyway that's the tricky part. As a girl you don't have to be any certain type to get raped, and as a boy you always run the risk of getting assaulted/beat up out on town.
Now my kids are ages away from their teens still, but I imagine that will be a fucking horrible period to be a parent to them. All you can do I think is to try to teach them to be as street-smart (read: careful) as kids can possibly be and hope for the best.
Can’t believe I’m not a daddy anymore. Saying bye to them was harder than calling it quits with thon Milf.
Buzzing for Tinder
I can absolutely understand why you'd be sceptical, but it's genuinely very good. One of my best mates is a massive comedy snob and the kind of aloof weirdo that wouldn't find inbetweeners relatable because his strange teenage years reading Henry James novels in big overcoats and shagging cool European girls into art-house cinema was nothing like the everyday existence of inbetweeners LADS. I spent ages trying to persuade him to watch it, and after lots of resistance and sneering he watched the whole first season in one sitting, apologised for being a twat, and said it was really good.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
Very well observed and very well written. It's like a(n obviously not as good) coming of age version of Peep Show.
Sorry @Waffdon :(
on the plus side, does this mean you'll be able to come and hang out with me and my mates in edinburgh? :henn0rz:
Haha when is it again? I’ve got a day out in Edinburgh for that Liverpool game at Murrayfield as got tickets for Napoli end. 28th July I think. At least I don’t need to bother about the rugby now later in August.
It's outstanding, isn't it. The first season is perfect.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Although, and I've probably posted this before, the one scene that sums up the whole show and will let someone know one way or another if they will enjoy it, is the opening of the second episode of season two when Jay is boasting about his Valentine's cards. Up until about 2mins 20secs in this video.
Inbetweeners is total dog shit for anyone who wasn't in english banter lad mode when it came outQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
A genuine low point in my life was being at a house party where someone put the Inbetweeners film on and I spent the next hour and a half questioning humanity.
I love Inbetweeners and I've never been in English banter lad mode.
Yep my thoughts exactly. I think the most important thing is that they get the tone just right. Never trying too hard to be serious and gritty, but the GIRLS AND BOOZE AND WAAAAY HE'S THROWING UP never felt like a cynical attempt to appeal to the "male teenage demographic". Especially season one. I also like how they never try to make the lads seem like the absolute bottom wrung freaks or make them seem unrealistically cool - they really captured that mid-table non-entity part of the social hierarchy that I was definitely in when I was at school.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
I disagree. I'm sure it will surprise you but I was hardly a banter lad when it came out.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Anybody who thinks they were an inbetweener was actually a geek.
And the show is shit.
You are now though :cool:
Igor, love you but you are literally a prime banter lad englishman. We all have our flaws, I liked Kevin and Perry Go Large when it came out.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
You wish you were likeable enough to be one though, see every interaction you've had with Lewis for proof. Inbetweeners was aspirational for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
Phonics calling people out on being stereotypes :drool:
Hows the spliff, Moonboots and Hip-Hop, bro?
I definitely was, but it was easier for me as I went to a nerd freak selective ALL MALE school. At a comprehensive, Jay and the boys would have probably bullied me, but at my dorky grammar school I was easily Everton. You know those terrifying uber-nerds you get on University challenge who are like autistic robot trivia machines? We had about 10 of them in our year of 90.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
I think my place in the hierarchy can be fairly accurately encapsulated by one lunch time in year 9 (I think) when I was in the library with my little gang of mates. I could see the "cool kids" playing football on the field, and said ahh fuck this, I'm gonna play football with them. My mates were incredulous and thought I'd either pussy out or they'd tell me to fuck off. When I arrived they just said "alright Igor, you're on that side". And once I snogged a reasonably fit girl who was one of the cool kids at the all girls school down the road, but the following monday i got more incredulous "how the fuck did YOU get with SOPHIE?!" than pats on the back.
Everyone is a stereotype, thats why they're stereotypes...Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
I also didn't call anyone out on being a stereotype, I said people like it because they are that stereotype.
If you're going to have a dig, have a good one.
I will accept you having this perspective of me as long as you mean prime banter lad englishman in the sense of me being a englishman with prime banter, rather than in the @Lewis school of thought of thinking I play drinking games with people I call lord jagerbomb and we have rules where you have to wear a wacky hat on friday nights.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Completely wrong but well done.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
1) Love you. You're not the former. You fall under 'SoccerAM but with self awareness'Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
2) I'd classify the latter under 'Rugby Lad'
Just because you have a panic attack at the idea of having a group of friends does not make it untrue.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
Why are you such an absolute bell end?
Because I have multiple personality issues and a series of drug addictions which I’m in and out of therapy for. What’s your excuse?Quote:
Originally Posted by Bam
Scaffolding to the head.
Hark at igor making out he wasn't well and truly condemned to sitting with the moshers.
Igor was way more normal than I thought he was going to be. If anything, he seems to be about the only normal person in his town. I was there for 12 hours and dealt with probably 4 to 5 utter gombines, 3 weirdos and 1 off his face on some sort of chemical and I only interacted with about 13 people.
I had basically the same experience. The Inbetweeners was fucking awful stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
If Igor wasn't a banterlad when he was younger then what was the point in becoming one now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
If you think I'm going to feel sorry for you then you're wrong, you're still a bell end.
I really liked my baggy jeans, German shirt and thick chain bought from Affleks palace. 😕Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Igor is way more clever than the typical banter lad. Also just a nice guy. He’s like an Aussie really.
Please tell me more about your opinions of people you've never met.
And lol at the thought of Igor being a LAD. He's just a quirky sound guy man, nothing more to it.
I’ve met igor though?...Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I don't even think he's quirky. Just a bit bored of life so goes for the adventurous/exciting options, which is fairly common. He just shares stuff on here that, compared to many, seems 'quirky' aa he's not at home all weekend making chocolate.
Nice dig at RL.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
It was just the first thing that sprung to mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Never change, phonics. You stuck up twat.
Phonics has a lot to say on other people for a grown man who continually buys trainers designed for teenagers.
"The worst thing about his personality is his... *checks notes* *adjusts glasses from the tip of his nose* taste in shoes"
Great retort mate.
Thank you.
I support the taste in shoes. I think i’ll be wearing Stan Smiths until i’m 60
Summer rolling round has let me get the Usain Bolt Pumas out. Even make the days forced into wearing a suit bearable :drool:
I’ve been back rocking AF1’s and life is just better in decent trainers.
People living their life in black and white bitching at people for living in technicolour.
Twats.
The prime example of that ^
And the prime example of twat ^Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
The only colour in Giggles life is that Greenbay Packers blanket he bought.
It's more of a rug.
I registered to PoF earlier this week and it's only now just jogged my memory of that thread we once had. :D Anyhow, after a few models messaging me and offering it on a plate, I now find myself heavily in debt and my card details are probably being passed around more often than Bam's wife.
On a serious note though, wtf? It's weird as fuck. The profiles read like shopping lists, some absolute munters messaging which makes me wonder if they are deluded or if that deluded one is in fact me and punching far above an acceptable threshold. So then Friday night I changed a few things, stuck a few more pictures up, did the tests things and a little intro then like magic, it stops and it starts showing potential. Am I being paranoid by believing PoF is controlling all of this just so I buy the membership with them too....it's all one big charade!
Currently talking to some decent looking lass from London. I'm of opinion that if we haven't met within a week then it's not going to happen, is that too optimistic? At what point do they become the pen pal as in my mind, it's very soon.
I've always operated on the basis that you need to get their number/other form of contacts prett sharpish and organise a meet within a few days or so. They're just bombarded with opportunities so if you're not showing forward interest, you may as well,not bother at all.
Let them be bombarded, I say. I have quite an extensive list of things I'm looking for in a woman and being the contradictory dick that I am, if they aren't interested enough to meet at whatever point I'm cool with then they probably aren't that interested anyway in which case, why make the effort.
First I'm basing it solely on looks and size because I'm shallow like that. Then I'll go through the pictures, usually it's cute pic followed by duck pout and fat pic, fat pic, etc. Read the profile, they see it then I'll wait until they view mine, if they do, that's my queue or if I'm not overly interested I'll see if they do. I'm not even sure if I'm ready for anything anyway, I'm just a tad bored and thought it would be a bit of fun. I can say without a shadow of doubt though that there's a lot of ugly people within a 50 mile radius of here. Christ.
I'm getting married next month :uhoh:
Honeymoon in Santorini :drool:
One table reserved for The Group.
Yep, got the final bullet on Friday. She showed absolutely no effort to find a compromise and has basically palmed me off. Wouldn't be surprised if she has some triathlete ready to step into my shoes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Shame really because I, and my family, really liked her. Mental given she introduced me to half her family like 2 weeks ago.
Onwards and upwards though. She'll realise at some point how much of an arse she's been. I want to be with someone else when that happens.
Fuck that bitch
.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Swiftly jumped off PoF. It's so tedious and I must be a magnet for munters and mentalists. One girl actually had a whole conversation with me throughout the day then messaged stating that because I had changed my profile to "Just for fun" (I hadn't) that we were definitely not compatible then blocked me before I could respond. What's the point? I'll stick to the good old fashioned way, I think.
I imagine that business had something to do with her calling it a day rather than trying to find a compromise.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
....
Nah, must be all her fault.
I told her flat out if didn't like that. She never loved me either, admitted as much when I actually asked her so was a bit ironic.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
She did the whole cliched it's not you, it's definitely me thing. But actually, I think it is her.
I'm not perfect. But me not being a cyclist / triathlete nor up for being told how I'd now spend my weekends in a campervan on a whim at some triathlon event or wherever she fancied going doesn't make me imperfect.
Some day she will realise she was being unrealistic. Or she'll meet some triathlete who does exactly the same thing and live happily ever after. Either way, I lose in the short term and I've just got to accept it and move on.
It sounds like the sort of relationship 15 year olds have. Stop watching fucking love Island.
I love you
...........
...........
..........
What?
Nothing. Wanna come caravaning?
Nah.
We need to talk.
Separation agreement drafted, waiting on her signing it or getting her own solicitor to dispute. If its the latter I dread to think how much its going to cost. As we both see it the figure is 50/50 exactly.
Childcare and CSA not included, she's well within her rights to fuck me over there too and there's not a thing I can do about it.
Spent the last week or so messaging a couple of girls. One who seems lovely and I really want to meet but she's away on holiday for a week. The other who I used to work with I want to have some fun with..
Offshore this week or id already have been putting both of those in motion.
Add to that "the ex" messaged me and "wants to talk, as she's been doing some thinking". Going to give myself a week or two delay before arranging that and try and see these other girls. She either wants to tell me some hidden truths/demands or give it another go, and I'm not ready to hear about it either way. I want to test the water elsewhere in the interim.
If you even reply to her then you've only yourself to blame for the mess you'll be in 6, 12, 18, etc months time when she gets her notions again. Blank her completely. It'll have the added bonus of driving her insane.
Yeah I responded and basically told her "not now, I'll speak to you in a week or so" and haven't messaged her since.
Tbf she probably just wants to tell me again how she dislikes how little interest I have in her campervan and cycling.
But yeah, I do worry that she was so willing and able to fuck it all off now, what happens if she did that 12 or 36 months down the line? She gave up on me so easily. Maybe she's got a new bf and just wants to tell me? Who knows.
Bumble is good. PoF fucked itself into oblivion years ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
I'll bare it in mind for future reference. I've already got the thought of meeting others out of my head in fairness. It's too much effort.
Ha.
I could take garden soccer global.
When does the Undateables open for applicants?
I thought you had a missus?Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Well, I've had yours.
Isn't it. Draining, depressing stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
I haven't even so much as kissed anyone else since the 8th of December 2018. Man or woman. Dead or alive.
Should’ve lipsed @Waffdon
I haven't had a date either.
So erm.....a/s/l?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
den we wil c xx
Foe playing a blinder. Body fat must be sub 15%.
She signed it.
Figured it out. Yep, I'm pretty lean at the moment, or I was a few days ago before offshore life smashed me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Some girls like a bald guy. I'm trying (and failing) to be a muscular bald guy. But I am consistent at wearing hats.
:sherlock:
Now you live.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
With a crippling mortgage and maintenance on top. :drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Added bonus: all my daughter talks about now is ‘mummy and John’.
Tempted to teach her how to start fires but I know how awful it is to lie and basically live two different lives and be embarrassed to talk about stuff so I let her waffle away freely, despite it feeling like a knife to the heart every time. Not for my ex wife, but for my daughter. I’m scared she spends way more time and I am phased out.
:(
She's moved on relatively quickly. She always comes across as such a shithouse, albeit via your perspective.
You should fuck her mom. Or John's.
She’d moved on when we were still together Melly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mellberg
She gets 23 grand upfront, then 250 a month.
I get my daughter circa 2-3 nights a week. She stays at the same school.
It's sickening that she won't have to account for a penny of the 250 quid either. There should be a receipt system.
It’ll be spent on John’s weed.
Facilitating Waff's coke habit.
Probably. He's about 40 lol, two teenage kids as well apparently and lives with his mum in a shit area. No idea what she's thinking. Up to her, as long as he's sound with Amber I don't really care.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Kirkton boy?
I said you've not even told me anything about this guy for Amber's sake, she told me a bit then started to say he'd do anything for me and I abruptly interrupted her with SUBJECTIVE let's stick to facts, like Dwight from The Office. Wiped the smug smile off her face. :drool:
Why did you give your kid a strippers name?
How long until she starts calling John, 'Dad'?
I would go down for murder at that point.
I started getting called Dad but then their Dad doesn’t even remember their birthdays and hits women, so fuck it
If it makes you feel better, I've never called my step dad, dad.
And I've never called my step parents mum or dad either. I think that's dictated by the other parent too be honest. Plus if the step parent is an arsehole.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kikó
I don't call my actual dad dad. I win.
Fuck being blown off for a guy called John. Magic :console:
Can't believe she left you for some auld fella with teenage kids.
He seems like a boring tube which is exactly what she wanted. Glad she's happy and if he'll put up with her shit then fair enough.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
'boring tube' =/= doesn't belt her
THey're on drugs surely? This sounds like addict behavior
They're Scottish.
The scenes when Magic secures peng material.
I still say he should give gay a lay. #ThumbItIn
Three years married today, lads. Easy.
5 years tomorrow for me. Do you bother with anniversaries? We'll often do something together on the day, but don't bother with presents or anything.
Previously I haven’t but she got me presents (apparently) so this time I got her a present. She got me a selection of tea, which is legitimately awesome. We were gonna go out for dinner but had to cancel it in the end, so it’s just the presents.
Someone at work is getting married on the same date as my anniversary next year so I’ll be at that on my own. Happy 4 years!
Happily married?
Lol my basement room is flooded. I'm officially homeless. Staying with my mum tonight and going to ask my gran if I can live with her for a bit. She has no internet so that'll be fun, especially working from home. I guess I could drive to and from dads but that was shit anyway.
This also means I have no facility to keep my daughter overnight.
Go my life!
This all stemmed from you smoking weed at a graveyard.
We were married a week apart. Congrats.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
It took her about 10 days to realise she made a mistake and wants to fix things.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Although, the reasons she broke up with me documented above haven't been mentioned.
Pretty confused what to do at the moment so just keeping her at arms length. Think she's getting frustrated with me that I haven't just welcomed her back with open arms.. not her call.
I do miss her, but I'm struggling with the idea she won't just do the same thing again in future. She just gave up.
:moop:
You should probably bring up all the reasons it ended, rather than just ignoring them like she seems to be doing, before making any decisions.
Foe, point out really specific behaviours she has been displaying. Not just general 'ways of being' etc. It's easy for someone to say "i'll stop being like that" and then they won't stop. But if there are specific behaviours, like "when you prevent me from doing this, when you don't want to come with me to that, when you always go out or always stay home or train too little or too much or whatever, when you say things like this and this and that, etc, etc, etc" it'll be easy for you to come back as soon as she's doing any of it again and just say: look, you said you won't do that, now you're doing it again.
That sounds pretty controlling to me.
She's not actually done anything wrong, she just wants someone that shares her hobbies and is perhaps a bit inflexible. Some people just aren't compatible.
Pros and cons of staying with her. PRos and cons of not staying with her.
Write it all down.
Stop trying to not make everything about blame and call her a bitch ffs.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
You're right, sorry Ian.
You're a bitch Foe.
Yeah that's my plan. At the moment I consider myself single, so the list needs to be emphatic to make me want to move away from that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
She basically told me we wanted different things. I'm going to ask her why she thinks that's changed.
Ah yeah, she's just having cold feet.
Just call her a cunt and be done with it.
You're right, sorry Mahow.
You're a cunt Foe.
She'll do it again and it'll be worse. Move on.
We now have the same wedding anniversary :lewis:Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
If in doubt kick her out, seriously.
If you have to seek relationship advice it's done. Heed my warning, like I did not heed yours.
What we’re forgetting here is that Foe said she was really hot.
Then tell her lies, give her one last one, and then lol her out on her arse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
Is 7 years a reasonable age gap? To fuck, not marry.
Half your age + 7.
I don't know who came up with that, but it's absolutely flawless. Must be the only thing of its type to be and has always stuck with me as a result.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
If it's legal, it's legal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Thumb it right in lad.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Right like who cares about what others think.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
I'd exclusively smash hot 18 yo's if I could.
I thought that but Jurassic Park comes out in the cinema and you realise she wasn't even born when you saw the original and it kinda gets a little uncomfortable for my liking.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
You're thinking about it too much. Thinking is the problem!
It's all fun and games until you have to explain to them what 9/11 is.
The question was about having sex with. None of that applies. Now if we're talking relationships then yes, the age/2+7 thing is as good as it gets.
If that's your cut off then anyone under twenty six is out.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
Completely off the railsQuote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
Thumb it into magic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
What've you been upto?Quote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
Whoever said before I shouldn’t think I’m ‘okay’ or using a women to cope with stuff when I posted before was correct. I’m so much worse than I was before meeting her. Horrendous stuff, boys
Part of the reason, beyond my complete and utter lack of attractiveness these days, I can't imagine trying to tie my wagon to some poor unsuspecting soul's life.
I got too much shit going on up in the ol' brain to burden others.
I have a date tomorrow.
Yes king!!!
I'll let @Spikey M do the honours.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
(But yes, that's good news. Nice one).
:thbup:
Dont be like that. :console:Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
There’s someone for everyone. And you’re really nice. :)
I miss being thumbed x
Let's say that's true and I'm honestly a really nice, pleasant person, bursting with personality who'd do anything for anyone...
What I'm saying is my shit is all fucked up mentally and whatever temporary happiness found in the comforting love and embrace of others would end up being construed by my brain as a very elaborate ploy by the other party to use me strictly for their own benefit (like free meals on dates, or a rebound from someone else in their past, or whatever the fuck) even if that weren't the case at all.
I've dated a few really nice girls and just invented reasons to get out of the relationship (albeit this was a really long time ago.) Now that I'm fat and generally repulsive I don't even have to try to give it a chance because the opportunity won't present itself.
I won't date people "in my league" because I'm not attracted to them so I don't see the point. I won't date people "out of my league" because I would pity them for tying themselves to such a repulsive human and in turn figure out ways to detach and save them the time.
I'm fine with this because I don't plan on living very long and all of this is temporary anyways.
That's all I mean. I don't mean it in the sense of "gosh there's someone out there for me I'm sure!". There's not. Love is just the chemical imbalance in our brains telling us to procreate. I figure this idk "depression" if you can call it that (I don't think it is I'm just looking for a word) is the brain's natural defense against the overpopulation of Earth.
I was chosen to die alone. Sure, we all are technically, but I'm not naive enough to think love is deeper than that. That's why so many people end up divorced, I think (no offense to anyone). The brain stops producing those chemicals and since you were born into this world alone it's only natural for the brain to want to revert back to it's natural setting instead of constantly being around someone and tying your fortunes to them entirely.
Even for me?Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Jesus bruhnaldo lose some weight then and get a grip lad.
Have you considered a mass shooting?Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Get a grip of what? I feel like I've got it all pretty squared away tbh.
More people should live in reality, I think. Less disappointment.
I don't blame others for my misfortune and would never want to hurt anybody :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
My problems are entirely of my own accord.
I think tha'ts the problem in our society. Most people like to blame everyone but themselves, I have no such luxury, I know it was all me.
Anyways Magic where you taking the lady?
Lol are you kidding me. We're meeting in a pub for a drink. I purposely arranged after dinner time to avoid the awkward paying thing. If I don't like the bitch then it's an easy, financial pain free escape.
You watched me being taken advantage of for 11 god damn years. Never again. I'll put her in the ground on the first date if I have to.
It's sad shit mate. Why do you consider yourself to be 'generally repulsive'? Alright, you said you're fat; but you could do something about that if it gets you down to this extent. For all the lolling we do at your expense for being American you seem pretty sound and come across as a nice person, so the image you have of yourself seems a bit odd.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
The whole post came across as odd but you're right. Why wouldn't they pay any attention to you, Bruh? Have you never seen the fitties with the men with titties? Do you believe all women are shallow enough to judge you on your appearance only? Their shopping lists are much more extensive that that. You might tick off a few of their boxes for all you know.
This stuck out for me. You won't date people in your league because you probably aren't even sure what league you're in yourself and being denied by a minger that you thought you had a chance with is the ultimate kick in the balls whilst dating a girl out of your league wouldn't bring pity but fear that she'll quickly leave for something better. Your issue is clearly your noggin' so forget about relationships completely as you have and focus more on getting your shit together properly. By that I mean lose some of the weight you seemingly have an issue with. Seek help or talk to us lot about your mental woes. You're only a young lad, it would be a shame to see you waste some good years of your life dealing with shit that can be managed better.Quote:
I won't date people "in my league" because I'm not attracted to them so I don't see the point. I won't date people "out of my league" because I would pity them for tying themselves to such a repulsive human and in turn figure out ways to detach and save them the time.
Plenty of people die next to the person they love, Bruh. I support you for wanting to sort your own problems first, but being so cynical about it is just a defence mechanism.
Deep down you’re a kind and soft-hearted guy. But you gotta love yourself first :-)
I really don’t understand the people who think life is all pain and disappointment
White male privilege wasted on Bruh.
Sure.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
Let us not forget that this guy:
Toggle Spoiler
Ended up married to...
Toggle Spoiler
Yeah but 'Mahow' isn't as sweet a nickname as 'Toadfish.'
Farking hell thank you for reminding me about Madeleine West.
They've had some stupid storyline recently where she isn't really dead and she is still a right bird.
Bruh out-inceling How is a nice twist.
Lol can't wait for my new date. Just got a spanking haircut only to get a message saying she has to cancel because her gran isn't well (even though she's going on holiday for a week as of Saturday morning..hmm!).
See this is why it's good to not book anywhere or anything. I only lost £8 on train tickets but I gained in not spending any drink money. :eyemouth:
Pics of the haircut.
It will be one of them Jack Grealish wanker haircuts because he asked for what the youngsters have.
Definitely shaved all the way up the sides like a man fully embracing the crisis.
Pattern cut into the side?
Couple of lines out the eyebrow as well.
Shag faster stripes.
3 at the sides and a trim on top. The most boring nonchalant haircut in the book.
Ok so I lost £13 on an unneeded haircut as well, but at least now I can mow the grass, get the washing done and make my tea at my own leisure.
Yeah I’d much rather hear about boring household jobs, than how much you’ve missed the taste of a battery acid flavoured stench trench.
I'm sitting eating a quorn burger off of a minnie mouse plate and sweetcorn out the tin. The Bloodhound Gang is on Alexa.
I'm gonna hit the gym then have a foamy bath and read my book on mastering dating.
#singlelife
I remember reading a kids book and the protagonists parents get divorced, he goes round to his Dads and it's well depressing.
Yours sounds worse.
Like Milhouses Dad with the racecar bed is beating you.
Give it a few years and he'll be like Timmy's dad off Monkey Dust.
I had a racecar bed as a kid. :cool:
I forgot what the follow up line was:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul6UcvNX4o8
:D
I sleep in the bed my wife was no doubt getting fucked by another man in.
Is it shaped like a racing car?
You took the bed when you left home?
As of 4:10am I am a dad. Little fucker is already mocking me with his full head of hair.
Congratulations. :)
Terrific stuff. Congratulations.
Congratulations. Welcome to the Dad group. PM Bamster for your membership pack.
Shave it into a Shearer Island. You've got to assert dominance ASAP.Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
Well in!
I feel such excellent news shouldn't suffer the over-riding destitution of this thread.
Well pull* your thumb out** and do something then
*push
**in
Congratulations SvN. I hope you enjoyed your last uninterrupted meal.
Congrats SvN.
Don’t worry, fella, it gets better.
Congrats!!!
Congrats SvN. It’s not as tough as it all first seems.
Nope, it's worse :drool:
But simply just worth it, tho, somehow.
Congrats.
Excellent news. Best of luck for the next 18 years. :D
I've got not one but two dates lined up for this weekend. Neither has cancelled, yet.
Congrats SVN!
Congrats P_3!
Not to bring SvN down but didn't you also announce a child at one point?Quote:
Originally Posted by P_3
Congrats SvN. Don’t envy you with the ‘black tar’ poos at the moment.
Congrats horsebox.
I've aged about 10 years in 3 and a half years and gone up 2 Jean sizes so he has that to look forward to too.Quote:
Originally Posted by mo
Imagine the state of his hairline in 2 years.
It'll start at his arsecrack.
Been a piece of piss so far. I can only assume day one is a fair representation of what to expect over the next 18 years, so this should be a piece of cake.
You're pretty much fine until they can move.
I found the first two weeks the worst, then it seemed to immediately become alright and just normal life rather than life being over.
Aye. They don't stop.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
My 2 have been complete opposites. Our first born was clingy as fuck and wouldn't sleep without being held until she was 9 months old. She also had Colic for the first 3 months (hell) and severe reflux after that.
Our 2nd born, unless Ill or teething is a happy little fucker. Sleeps fine, enjoys whatever is going on and just seems to be generally an easy going geezer. We had a bit of a shitty start with a milk allergy, but he's been fine since we got it under control.
There's no real standard of 'baby' I reckon. You just have to hope you get an easy one.
I remember babysitting my half-sister's twins years ago as newborns.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
The girl was super easy, you could put her down, she'd fall asleep and wouldn't stir until about 2/3am for feeding. The boy you'd have to hold until he fell asleep but it would always take a while as he would fight it and was usually quite restless.
During the day though they were both fine as long as they were constantly being rocked in a baby bouncer.
A milk allergy lol should have left him in the woods.
This seems a fairly standard, although not universal experience - first being harder etc. I reckon it's down to you having absolutely no idea what you are doing, whereas second time round there is often necessity in just getting on with things.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Far funnier, in my experience, is when someone gets a do nothing no problem baby first and then a nightmare one comes along second. Shock to the system.
Can't be me. I'm still in Team Virgin with Mahow. :eyemouth:Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
He's grown out of it and eats cheese like I would expect of my offspring. Otherwise, absolutely. Fuck having some cheese dodging fanny of a kid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Spikey has two kids? All he asked for was a little head :henn0rz:
:D
Quality.
Struck out on first one today. Starting to hate receiving messages when I get home of being a "lovely guy", with "good conversation" and "a gentleman" but "more suited as friends". Urgh.Quote:
Originally Posted by P_3
Gentleman is the biggest insult of them all in those situations.
I fail to see how any of those are insults
It mean he a bitch.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
They’re patronising him.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
How do I stop being a bitch? Help me out TTH.
It doesn’t necessarily mean you are one. It just means she’s not attracted to you and resorts to her stock library of words to make herself feel better.
Oh is that it? Makes more sense. Onwards and upwards.
Yeah, call their bluff and arrange to do something as friends.
Best to lead with dick pics from now on to shake the 'gentleman' tag.
I don't want to break the internet.
I’d love this :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Guys. Early days but number 2 has suggested we do something again. :joy:Quote:
Originally Posted by P_3
Its been on the table for a while now, but im being lined up for a threesome with two girls. Ive never had a proper threesome before. Who is TTH professional in this area?
@Bamster
@weisenheimer @vic_flange
@MagicsWife
She could well be involved tonight.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
When was MJ last seen here?
In this thread, the 24th. His last post was on the 26th.
:boydy:
Have him and waff done themselves in as part of a pact?
A double suicide is probably what this site needs.
RIP in pieces sweet princes.
If they have and they didn't rep this place on the way out then I suggest we ban them.
Maybe they’ve just said fuck it and decided to give the thumbing a go.
You mean bumming?
They’d probably have to thumb it in for the first few goes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bam
Bam is no stranger to thumbing it in it seems.
Hopefully they’re just off their tits and tag teaming that milf of waffs.
Then not repping this place would be even worse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
@igor_balis has him on facebook. Check in on him, will you.
The Mrs brought up the possibility of having another kid earlier. Not too sure how I feel about it. We always wanted 2 because having a 3rd just seems to make everything difficult.
-Finding a car that can fit 3 car seats
-Finding a holiday/hotel that can (affordably) fit a family of 5.
-Kids having to share a room OR managing to afford a 4 bed house in the South East.
But, for all the worry, we are doing pretty well financially and I'm not sure that finances should be the main consideration anyway.
I do love seeing our 2 playing together. Their differences, their similarities and how close they are. I've also found baby no. 2 a million times easier, but then he is absolutely an easier baby. Our 1st born was a horrific sleeper. The worry is baby no. 3 could be a repeat of baby no. 1, which would be catastrophic.
There's also the concern that I am 33 now. We'd have to get cracking pretty soon. My brother in law will be nearly 60 by the time his youngest reaches 18. Fuck that. I want a life after the kids have grown up.
Anyway, I need to think about this. Heart says 'yes', brain says 'maybe', pocket says 'm8'.
I mean you might as well. From your post the only issue REALLY seems to be "but my sleep might be shit for a few years".
As if you have a say in this m8.
Have a third. Then you can have a boy, a girl, and a gender neutral.
Raise it on Instagram as gender neutral, let the community of insta define how it’s raised and the sponsorship will pay the expense.
Don’t do it. And give away the two you already have.
Sorted.
Only people that are allowed to sleep under-value it like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
I wear the fucking trousers here m8.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Unless she says it's shots weather. Then I wear those.
I'm not cool enough to have a tranny kid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Might as well. It'll be another warrior for your tribe when civilization collapses. Safety in numbers.
Fair but I mean more like you're trading terrible health habits for a few years for decades of a beautiful family.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
And imagine your 3rd will also start their own little family and you'll have even more little grandkids running around. Then you'll pass on as the loving patriarch of a large family of a couple dozen beautiful people that will continue branching off long after we're all gone and TTH is no more.
Do it, man. It'll be worth it in the long run I'm sure.
It won't be here by October 31st.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
A father and his three children with abnormally small heads will sell more tickets at the freak show than just two children.
Three kids would be dead weight post-societal collapse, and doubly so if they stopped him training pre-collapse. Then again when your knees fall out sat on the toilet you probably wouldn't last long anyway.
Threesome completed and it wasn't great. I'll probably never do that again. They were playing with me the whole time. One of the girls laid me on my back and was spinning on my wood. Now I have chronic backache.
Im a proud five-minute man, but the sessions were dragging over 30 minutes. Im a wounded animal. Ive booked a few days off from work. Im done.
:D
From third child to threesome. What a run of posts.
:DQuote:
One of the girls laid me on my back and was spinning on my wood. Now I have chronic backache.
Can't envision how that spin move works.
Was she break dancing on your cock?
Lol Virgin.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
That Sincere post is so good :D
Yeah I don't feel like I can weigh in on the '3rd kid' thing now (£2k to get the backseat of your car removed and three car seats inbuilt put in instead. Can you afford that?)
We're talking about threesomes not three kids, paedo.
I came to bed later than the fiance the other night and she was dozing when I got in. I greeted her in the customary way by putting my arm around her, squeezing her boob and saying "boobs". She responded with "I have four of those" and was fully convinced of the fact until I got her to count them out. She was proper confused and disappointed when she got stuck at two.
:|Quote:
Originally Posted by mo
I'll just stick the least favourite in the boot.
Can you not just wait a bit till the eldest is big enough to not need a car seat?
She's lucky the Doctor was in the house.Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
They need a car seat / high back / booster until they're 11 or 12 now. Our eldest is 3.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
I've counted 3 tits already.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
:cab:Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Just get some tinted windows mate.
https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rulesQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
"Children must normally use a child car seat until they’re 12 years old or 135 centimetres tall, whichever comes first."
I reckon most kids reach that height before they're 12 but I have no idea what the average age is.
It's until they're 12 or 135cm. I remember having to find that out a while ago.
Edit: Fuck you Spikes.
How long has that been the case? I'm sure I will have had a car seat as a baby, but I have no memory of being in one, and they probably never had boosters then except in those little blue cars like what Mahow drives.
No idea. The rules have all gone mental recently though. Kids have to be 'rear facing' until they're about 27 now as well.
About 2 years ago I think.
Little blue cars?
Edit: Seems that backless booster seats were banned 2 years ago but the 12/135cm thing has been going for about 10 years.
You can get 3 car seats into the back of a reasonably sized car.
There's about 10-15 cm's between our 2 in my IX20. I reckon it's doable once in boosters, but baby car seats are fucking massive.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
I can just about remember a car seat but I must have been at most 4 when I stopped. I can remember being picked up from school by my old man in his Suzuki Jimmy with the entire interior ripped out so he could fit all his building materials in. 2 Seats, 2 Seatbelts and a whole load of sharp/heavy objects. #neverdidmenoharmQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
That's what I mean. Me and my brother used to get in the back of the old man's van whilst he handbrake turned it around the traffic island at the top of the street.
Nerds. We didn't even need seatbelts in the back.
I was never in a car seat. It's only now that I'm aware that they're needed for kids older than 4 or 5.
My Dad would drive his Porsche with his knees as entertainment.
That or just driving me and my Sister 20 minutes home after a bottle of wine :\
It’ll be an insurance thing. There’ll be a 5% survival chance bump up to that age/height and they’ll say “Sorry your kids dead but nothing we can do.“ should have been a better parent.
The little tykes should be walking everywhere instead of polluting up the roads in the morning, while their parents drop them 150 meters down the road to school.
Any 12 year old using a car seat deserves battering.
Alright Henry calm down.
Dick is on fire lads.
:lol:
This keeps happening, Sincere.
Your GP is Terrified.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
I know. I'm too reckless. I can't help myself. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
Do you take prep?
Yeah, they were both of legal age.
I'd imagine it's just a chinese burn from the spinning move.
You cant just drop links like that to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
My whole chest, back and legs all feel affected and sore. Hopefully, its just the after-affects of the bedroom olympics.Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
RIP in pieces, Sincy.
Only teasing.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
So when do you get your test results
In for the umbrella?
Atleast you get a free coffee with your loyalty card.
Now it's a waiting game
In fairness any two gutter rats that are up for a threesome are going to be as clean as a butchers skip.
Thank you, Cardinal PotatoQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
You’re just a walking meme these days. Go and lie down in traffic you string of piss.
Look out for a blue van @mugbull
I can safely say I wouldn’t brake for him.
You haven't gotten laid in a while, have you?
You sleep with a toilet mate.
What?Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
This:Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
And I thought my impending, second dose of trichomoniasis was bad. That sounds fuckin shit
Quite literally.
Do you where protection @SincereTheRebel most the time?
Loves a brass does our Sincere and going in bare.
Always asking for trouble.
Madness for 1st time intercourse.
My missus friend told her she contracted gonorrhea but couldnt be sure who she caught it off...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
No. I don't think ive worn one since 2014. I really should but I like to gamble with my life.
Maaaaate. Genital warts, AIDS etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
What the heck are you walking around with?
I havent had anything to bad as of yet. Ive had crabs and trichomoniasis. Ive slowed down massively though compared to how I was moving a few years ago. I didn't have unprotected sex until I was 21 and my first threesome at 30. I think I'm doing alright...Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
Narrator: He was not doing alright.
If you havent had an STD or STI, you havent lived. I don't drink and have never smoked or done any drugs. I get all kicks from the problems that women bring.
Well, that’s up there with the most mental things I’ve ever read. Rubber up, dipshit.
Expect a phone call from Gareth Thomas.
Intervention.
Oii bloke find someone you trust then have glorious bareback sex.
I had a rubber split on me during a 1 nighter and it's up there with the most scary experiences of my life. Thought I was going to get full knob rot. You don't explore unknown ground without your shoes on.
I'm not a tough guy, but I'm stupid.
You should start drinking, you might finally contract an STD that forces you to reconsider your decisions
Forget about me.
Do you guys tell your partner when you are about to finish or do you just let it out and catch them off guard?
I don't say anything. It is funny to me, that some people still announce it though
So long as she’s announcing it you’ve nothing else to worry about.
I can’t remember ever using a condom.
Both times we've tried for a kid the mrs got pregnant first time. If I did that I'd have about 60 kids.
I've never tried for a child, but I've gone through the abortion process twice.
Use protection kids
Just got an image in my head of Sincere solemnly telling an assembly hall full of youths about the abortions and repeated cases of knob-rot and telling them to learn from his mistakes before somebody asks him the best form of protection and he goes "What? Oh no, I still don't use any of that."
I’ve had a few scares but most are on the pill these daysQuote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Or that coil in their pussy or embedded in their arm.
Ive also sent off for my annual HIV test
Yessir. We got it easy, bruh
She is trying to line me up for round two. Still waiting on test results. It's really scary.
She knows.
Good news and bad news.
Bad news is that you need to tell your wifes, girlfriends, mothers, nieces and aunties that Sincere is germ free and he is looking for some fresh victims.
What's the good news?
Sincere, genuinely, if you're going to engage in this sort of behavior, go to your doctor and ask them to put you on PrEP, it'll protect you and any potential victims. They shouldn't charge you if you admit to them that you engage in risky behavior as it's cheaper for them to give that to you then treat the disease for the next 50 years. If they won't just tell them you're doing gay or swinger party stuff as well and they'll put you on it there and then.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Victims :D
I just saved a lot of money on my car insurance.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
It is already on the schedule.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
I went on a date last night. My first date in 11 years...maybe my first date ever, in reality.
It was incredible. Without getting carried away.
P. S found my next wife lololo
How much are you going to pay her for your house?
2nd date organised. :drool:
Top work Magic. What's your secret?
Had a date arranged yesterday, turned up at her town's train station and stood around like a twat for two hours waiting for her before heading home. First time I've been stood up. Feels bad man. :violin:
She’ll have been there.
Nothing to lose, everything to gain. Be yourself. Know what you want.Quote:
Originally Posted by P_3
I had to do A LOT of self reflection to discover that. And also I was ghosted 4 times lol. Not in person but just before. So this was my last attempt before deleting, she messaged me on Mon, I asked her for a drink on Wed and we met on Fri.
She's amazing. She's amazing because I was allowed to connect on every level. Of course it may not have been like that with someone else but at least I'd know straight away.
Fucking hell. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Jesus Christ. Get a fucking grip, of you'll be married again to another cunt within the year
Alright, Craig David.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
This is rough. Who does that?Quote:
Originally Posted by P_3
Did she message you at any point to explain or just flat out stand you up and ghost you?
:roflol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Monday
Took her for a drink on Tuesday
I was kicking off by Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday
She bailed on Sunday
There was a bit of messaging as I was on the train over, something about her ex slashing her car tyres as she went to see him and drop off his stuff and calling her dad to help. Then it all went silent from her end. I sent her a quick message this morning to at least let me know she's ok, next thing I know I'm blocked on WhatsApp. Whilst waiting for her, I did see a car with an older man in the driving seat and someone else in the passenger seat wait around for 10 minutes without dropping or picking anyone up. Maybe that was her.:sherlock:Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
How was Dundee?
Slashing tyres :D
She’s a fucking spoofer.
Had a weird bit of synchronicity yesterday. There was this cute Greek girl (I say girl, she's actually mid-30s but looks a lot younger) who used to come into my place of work quite regularly ages ago. I'm pretty shit at picking up on signals, but I always had a sense she fancied me. She came in one day, and started fucking doodling on my hand with a pen, and five minutes later i was kicking myself for being too much of a pussy to give her my number, but told myself I definitely would next time she came in. That was about 18 months ago and she never came in again. :moop:
Well, she didn't until 12.45pm yesterday, i.e. 15 minutes before the end of my VERY LAST shift before I move 150 miles away. I was a lot more relaxed and devil may care cus i was pretty hungover and about to leave, so I was flirting pretty heavily and suggested she came and checked out Norwich when she was saying how bored she was of living in the Midlands. After I served her I was all "well I guess I'll never see you again, then", to which she blushed and suggested we exchanged numbers to stay in touch. As she was leaving she turned around and said "about 2 hours in the car to Norwich, yeah?". :cool:
She ended up adding me on facebook, and was sending me audio clips of her saying rude greek words under the guise of helping me learn the language. I mean, it's not the most convenient of booty calls but I'm pretty chuffed. Mostly just the insane odds of her coming in yesterday, rather than a Saturday I wasn't working or after I'd left.
It's more like three hours so unlucky lad.
Not really. Approaching situations without judgement allows me to see things for what they are. I don't transfer my past pains or blind myself with what I want to see instead of what is present.Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
Let's see where it goes, but I am very impressed so far.
Looking back, did you see this coming?Quote:
Originally Posted by P_3
Not really, because she seemed keen to meet. The whole tyre slashing thing was a bit weird and I should have just cancelled there and then but assumed she'd just get a lift home then come to meet as planned. Women, eh? :sorry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Being blocked on Whatsapp didn't seem off?
That was this/Sunday morning. Date was last/Saturday night.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
I read that as happening on the day and you still turning up.
She's done you a favour there. Obviously bonkers
It sounds like if that is true she did you a favour, mate. Maybe you should consider that admirable.Quote:
Originally Posted by P_3
And maybe you should flag it up to the police, too.
2nd date complete. Shit film that went on for AGES (IT Chaper 2), so it kind of dampened things and it didn't end until midnight so we were both knackered.
3rd date on Sat. Still not banged.
Pics
1st norwich tinder date a resounding success tbh.
Pics looked good lad. Lots of blacks though.
Also mine is going well too, she stayed over the other night. :)
Ayee Magicccc.
Guys I'm happy. And I am myself again after a decade. I feel like I've lost that much of my life, in terms of my own personal development. My life begins again now. I spent a year recovering, and now I'm adding so much positivity.
I am thrilled. :)
Great news Magic!
Good news but be careful.
Has it been a year since yous split already?
Someone ruin his life again for the good of the board.
It’s a woman he’s talking about. Just give it time, it’s what they do.Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
even Magic is happy ffs
Very nearly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Bloody hell. Time flies. Glad to hear you're doing well though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Magic being happy reminded me I never posted, after a year of single life I met a girl lads, she’s boss! First met in the summer and things are going well!
I’m deffo punching too :cool2:
Domestic violence is not cool.
Were you not married? You were probably the only person to describe a divorce as 'ace'.
In relation to divorce. I didn't know the rate was so high. It is at 42% according to the BBC in England and Wales which fucked me right up. If you want to go deeper. Black people dont get married and brown people dont get divorced. That rate would be about 99% if it was just white people.
I can't believe I wasn't invited.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Ah. Maybe it was you.
It should have been The Reid.
I am the one with a wife and child.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Mike is the one who is happy.
:baz:
3 weeks in Norwich, 2 successful tinder dates navigated. She's really smart and cultured and shit, which i'm a big fan of. First date we had long discussions about the future of the union (UK), her Welsh independence arguments v interesting even if I didn't agree, she loves Father Ted and is similarly very disappointed with Linehan being a big transphobe weirdo. Mentioned in passing my recent chess OBSESSION, and rather than being weirded out she insisted on us playing chess on date #2. Aw.
Date one ended with us pretty battered, snogging and being gross outside some random block of flats. I had my hand up her skirt and shit, like a hormonal teenager. When she was all hehe, but we're in PUBLIC, I laughed and said whatever, I don't live here. Some proper Norwich geezer poked his head out of his window and shouted "Yeah but I do, so FUCK OFF". We both immediately went "ah yeah fair point, sorry mate", or something along those lines.
Date two I absolutely battered her at chess and had a game of scrabble, but she was being "sensible" and managed to nurse her pint for about 2 hours. Was a bit worried it was going a bit platonic, but probably just cus of how drunk and sloppy we'd been on date one. It ended a lot less depraved, with a quick snog and "thanks for a lovely evening". I'm pretty besotted tbh lads. She's exactly the kind of girl I always fantasised about meeting when I was a dorky teenager, and it turns out they do exist, just not in Rugby.
Sounds great!
What’s date 3?
He forgot to mention she's a weeb.
There's only 17 people in Norfolk so I probably know her.
I can't decide if it's more Partridge series 2 or Gavin and Stacey, but either way the middle paragraph there is a beautiful thing.
Modern day Romeo & Juliet.
Well tha'ts nice.
So they're killing themselves after objections from the family? That'll make a good thread.
I hope her name is Annie. Igor + Annie, that sounds nice.
I could see it from Igor.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
That's brilliant.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
She said it's her turn to pick an activity, so I'm awaiting her decision. I'll be honest, I'm hoping for something involving booze so we can do some tipsy touchy feely but if she wants to go play settlers of Catan or go to some feminist book reading or some shit I'll be happy enough cus like, she's cute.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
And fuck off @Boydy you grass, but not a weeb (that was bumble girl), she's into d&d and scifi and shit, rather than anime.
Slippery slope.
Oh, she's one of those.
Aye, but i'm basically one of those as well. I moaned about Rugby being full of normie square girls who didn't know anything, and was desperate to find someone smart and cultured and a bit nerdy. I spend the vast majority of my time when I'm not eating, sleeping or working playing fucking boardgames with my wiener mates, playing online chess and watching pretentious films and TV shows, so it would be a bit much to find this girl and be like "yeah, I wanted exactly THIS, just errr, slightly less of it".Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
I like it. I find it cute that for once it's the other person who's slowly revealing their dorky tendencies as trust increases and fear of the other person running a mile slowly subsides.
I so hope she reveals her complete weebness in the next date.
igor had to leave Rugby because the older people at work found out he never invented 'cockwomble'.
I feel like I successfully left #teamsensitive (ish) once I learned to take your bantz in the spirit they were intended but you fucking take that back. Honestly not sure I hate anything more than those cutesy compound swearwords. Was always a big fan of Charlie Brooker circa-early screenwipe, but he couldn't go more than 10 minutes without calling some tv producer a twatwank or something. Hideous. I also had a mate at school who tried to steal his whole shtick, but didn't manage anything except making up his own horrible swearwords and wearing a t shirt with a blazer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
I remember one the best ever E-Victories i saw was my mate making a fairly tongue-in-cheek insult on this fit girl's profile picture on facebook, to which she responded "ah, [my mate's name], like charlie brooker without the humour or the charm". Especially funny cus it was clearly said without a shred of cheeky bantz, it was fucking brutal. Either way, fuck you mate.
I feel like she's too obsessed with Welsh culture to have time for Japanese culture.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
Rumbled by a Stephen Fry meme of a quote he never even said going round the office chat. Somebody a bit smoother would have just slowly switched to 'shitgibbon', but you I heard you cracked like a mess.
Stop putting him on the ropes, he's found happiness.
Stop triggering me
Text your lass a picture of some shit basic cheese on toast and tell her you're having their national dish.
Vegetable munge is the national dish of Wales.
I had rarebit in the cafe attached to the Dylan Thomas museum in Laugharne, the tiny village where he wrote a lot of his stuff. I don't disagree with you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
To be honest I expected you to reply "What do you mean" and then I was gonna say "I was honestly just shitposting I meant nothing by it whatsoever" but I'm very happy for you it sounds wonderful :)Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
thanks, friend.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
definitely trying to temper my excitement, cus it's so early days. she could deffo just be like "actually, nah mate", at any point and it would be absolutely fair enough, but i'm not usually like this. think there was a couple of times i expressed enthusiasm for tinder girls on here, but deep down it was just momentary surprise a girl fancied me, and wanting there to be something. feels like there actually is something this time. okay i'll shut up now, sorry gang.
You're in the entirely right place to go on about it don't apologize.
If it wasn't for living vicariously through everyone else's happiness I'd have none at all :)
But hey Igor really you're a good lad and you deserve to be happy so don't go ballsing it up on some "Aw man I can't believe this!" type of stuff because you're gonna get in your own head and start acting out of sorts.
Remember you're a catch yourself and she should be thrilled to have met YOU just the same.
Yeah, if she's as much of a geek as you make out then you should be alright.
What’s the protocol for evolving from dating to BF/GF?
Engagement ring.
Thank you, I knew I was right.
Bring her to the PO tomorrow from 11/12.
Absolutely not, she'd definitely think I was a super deviant if we bumped in to you, especially if it goes down like it did with my dad. :D
It's only a matter of time until she finds out how much of a deviant you are anyway.
I'd say Magic will be well sorted with a good woman. He's a good lad and deserves it after all the shite.
Hahahah, I’ll be in a much worse state by then. Pint and chaser from 11/12. Woohoo.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I have a breakfast date tomorrow. She isnt knew. We did a thing a few years ago. She reached out again, and I don't usually like to live in the past, but her head game is on another level.
She made her lips look worse by having them modified. She looks hideous now. The date was going well until I told her she looked like the gremlin in the wedding dress. Then she got all defensive and bothered.
:D
How dare she react negatively to being called a gremlin.
You should have let her do her thing first so you could see if it had lead to a change in technique. Where's your scientific curiosity?Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Mahow, your posting has gone to shit again recently. You alright?
Twattish post of the decade award right here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
Giggles (masked) to host this year's awards through via livestream would be amazing.
Dashcam or bust.
Did anyone ever take over doing it since Billy Wright slithered off the board?
Igor (IIRC) attempted it once but never posted the results.
#AnyoneButMahow this year will be fine.
It's a shame Baz and Mike didn't go on to become our very own scouse Ant and Dec to save us going through this each time. How much is left in the TTH kitty? Must be enough to tempt them to do a livestream.
I’d pay to not see Mike say ace seventy-three times on a live stream.
Bring back Luca to host it.
i might actually be able to do the awards if i start prep now
Im not an abuser like that. If im not feeling her anymore, ill tell her the reasons why and keep it moving. Yes, I could have potentially kept on going to see where it goes as the whole time I was with her. I kept on thinking maybe she changed her lips to improve her head game on another level She looked like a gremlin though and I don't want to test that theory.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Im much more rough than anticipated and v v skint. Dads surprise birthday meal in a bit. YayQuote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
As someone who has actually been a host for an event in real life I'd be happy to host your "look how great I am" award show :drool:
Least likely to be happy?Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Edit: can the host win?
I forgot that bruh existed. American Mahow definitely shouldn't be allowed to host.
I've never been more offended.
I find that hard to believe
You have to interact with other humans for them to say something offensive to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
based on the posts i've read on here this weekend, i think there's going to be a lot of competition for "most catty", meow!!
Most zany is sown up at least.
mate ur fucking eyebrow will need sewing up if you keep pushing me
Alright Sincere.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Feelings mutual, I can't even imagine a time I've noticed a post of yours let alone been enriched by reading one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
There’s not a single one of us enriched by anything any one of us posts any more. We’ve heard it all before for years now.
@Giggles I'm going to beat your sorry ass so hard you won't know if you're in top Ireland or bottom Ireland...and having proofread that I'm gonna say you can interpret that threat however you like.
@gig You're 100% correct. There really is no point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
:D someone found the purple wine gums. Did you win them on a game of Go down the pub?
I learnt that birds (and Kiko) are responsible for global warming today.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Until you learn that it’s all a ruse to force more and more taxation on us you’ve learned nothing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
I psyched myself up to go and play 5 a side football with a bunch of strangers (friend of a friend of a friend type situation), walked to sports direct to buy suitable clothing and then to the footy pitches through pissing rain, then the game got cancelled cus the other team didn't show up :moop:Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Lol at buying new clothes for a game of fives.
Can't show up wearing a flannel shirt.
Well, exactly...Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
What clothes did you buy? Chino shorts and sand shoes?
I mean do you literally own no t-shirts and shorts ? It's fine if you just wanted to buy new things but the way it's presented makes it sound like you have no non-work type attire.
Surely he was buying some boots.
I have lots of casual garb but nothing even remotely suitable for sportswear. This is just cus of oversight when I moved to Norwich, I've got shitloads of shorts and athletic t shirts back home, I just only packed jeans etc cus I figured I wouldn't need that shit until summer
Who cares what he was buying. :rolleyes:
I'm so shit at football I'm hyper aware of the all the gear no idea risk, but i figured turning up in skinny jeans and a striped cotton t shirt might be a step too far.
thank youQuote:
Originally Posted by bam
Full kit wanker.
You would normally.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bam
To briefly change the subject from my 5 a side gear, I've already been reminded of how frustrating internet dating can be :moop:
will bore you all with the details later, but flakiness and unpredictability is very irritating when you're properly into someone
Aw no :(Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
No I would not, I've no interest in what people buy from Sports Direct. Stop making things up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
You do realise that you've all been going on about it for over 24hrs? :henn0rz:
I have?Quote:
Originally Posted by Bam
If we applied the "who really cares" initiative to everything on this website there would never be any new posts.
How’s your office crush going?Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Who really cares?Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Who really cares?Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Bru really, really cares.
I care.
Why?
I care.
You're all my friends.
I care about Kiko's carbon footprint.
She has vanished, presumably to go work at another office.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
I overheard one of the managers here telling her to "well keep and touch and tell Cheryl we say hello!" and ever since, nada.
Give me £500. I need to buy a few PS4 Pro's and ship them off to Jamaica.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
You sound like a great friend Sincere.
Friendship ended with Norfolk tinder girl #1
Now Norfolk tinder girl #2 is my best friend
(31) Days of Norwich.
:lol:
He'll always have her stench on his fingers.
Or the taste of her arse.
That escalated and deescalated quickly. Sorry iggy.
After 6 years of being single I feel like I'm getting close to #offical relationship status. Wowzers.
Aren't you all supposed to be drowning in clunge with the advent of Tinder? Never really got to grips with that as I met the wife on PoF pretty quickly after leaving a psycho long term gf and ditching a nice girl who could deepthroat for England but had too much associated baggage. My mate is a former shut in who is shagging like a trooper on Tinder in Leeds now though.
Not exactly an endless supply of fanny with standards that don't match my face, but I've had a few tinder shags. Tbf I wasnt looking for anything serious but, like, she's really cool yeah.
I think there's also probably a high correlation between deep throating ability and baggage, sadly.
o hai gice
Lads. The Gremlin is very good at doing what she does. Im lying next to her with scratches on my face after an unprotected session. Ive been seduced. Her species has a different type of energy.
:D
Disclaimer: I know it's also hard to give advice given you have no context, and as such will give advice based on your own experiences. In hindsight, this is probably the worst place I could have asked this.
Just got this message lads after I dropped her off. Dunno if I was going overboard with affection and compliments? Maybe I was, don't really have anything to compare with as my previous one was just insults lololol. Maybe hers was too? I did think 'smothered' was a bit harsh though. We only see each other like once or twice a week and we've only been seeing each other for 6 weeks.
Sorry I sometimes get overwhelmed with so much affection, compliments etc, it's not your fault but I just feel a wee bit smothered sometimes. I know you mean well and I appreciate all your gestures. ❤ xxxxxxx ps dont apologise I just want to be honest. I've been on my own for a while. And please feel free to tell me fuck off as I sound so ungrateful ��
My initial standard reaction was 'go fuck yourself' but on reflection that's a pointless, damaging reaction to a genuine concern someone has been honest enough to raise. I did also initially read it as a break up text but again that might be me over-reacting. I just gave a generic reply back:
I completely understand, I did pick up on it & that's my bad for going overboard again! Always be honest! No way you're not ungrateful, not at all! There's nothing to be grateful for! I appreciate your honesty big time . ��
Hope you're ok in the meantime xxx
Edited for GDPR. That'll buy me some time to think. Do I really want to be having to navigate what appears to be significant emotional problems so soon after a horrible marriage? Do I have significant problems that I need to address now or forever have a viscous cycle? Do I walk away from what seemed to me a pretty amazing girl and beginnings of a really positive relationship? How do I address that concern, a concern I wasn't aware of (I lied with my 'picked up on it' comment). Appreciate the usual 'fag, bury under patio, marry her' feedback, as well as any constructive that anyone has.
Play it cool.
Was my reply playing it cool? I deleted a big long spiel about myself being shit at everything. :cool:
edit: She replied saying she was in a shite relationship (I knew that anyway) and she had a freakout because she doesn't know how to handle it, sorry for dampener, sometimes just need space thanks for understanding etc etc etc.
Thing is what do I do now? Purposely not pass compliments? Don't make her a cuppa? Not suggest doing things because of 'space'? Or just forget it happened and carry on 'as normal'. But I don't want to do that if it's going to smother her. Damn my horrific childhood and understanding of relationships.
How do I reply?
Once again Magic it's very simple, you need to get the fuck outta your own head again.
"There's nothing to be grateful for" brooooo shuuut uuuup. Stop trying to bring yourself down because you were nice to a girl and treated her with respect. She does have plenty to be grateful for. Knowing that you were a perfect gentleman and did your best to make her feel good about herself she quite very likely isn't used to that sort of affection and attention from someone.
What it sounds like to me is that she's realized she's met a terrific fella who actually was raised with sense and manners and it's scared her. She realizes there's nowhere to go but up but given she said she's been alone for awhile she probably suffers from the same type of self-esteem issues that you're currently expressing in this very thread.
"What is happening? Surely this is a mistake. Something is going to go wrong." etc. etc.
She feels herself becoming genuinely invested and vulnerable and while it's an exciting feeling it's a new feeling or, one she hasn't felt in awhile.
She'll want to take some time to sort those emotions out and see if she, herself, is ready for that next level of commitment. That's a perfectly natural and fine response especially for someone who has built so many levels of walls to keep herself from getting hurt.
Personally? As hard as it may be I would at give it a day or two to see if she initiates and small talk or anything in the meantime and then go from there but do not initiate. Give her the space she needs to figure it out. If a few days go by, I don't think there'd be anything wrong with reaching out and saying something kinda corny to the effect of
or you know something like that. Which doesn't mean you sit around waiting forever but girls love romantic bullshit so maybe that would do the trick for you.Quote:
"Hey (xxxxx), I hope everything's going well on your end. I just want to say I really did enjoy our time together and hope that it's only space you need to sort out your feelings for me because I certainly still have very real feelings for you. I know these different emotions can be overwhelming, especially since we've both gone on such winding roads before meeting each other, but I just want you to know how much I do care about you and want to support you in that regardless. Hope to speak soon but if it's only time that you need I'll wait as long as it takes xx."
Regardless, you're a top lad and there'll be others if not her.
Remember, this actually has nothing to do with you because you're only being a good person and a good man who is showing her respect and genuine affection.
Don't start second guessing yourself because she's not used to being so charmed by a gentleman. :)
buuut that's just like my opinion, man.
My God. I've taken your advice.
Just throw the odd backhander into your normal approach.
Negs worked on all the 'sloots' that Mert was bagging...
Thanks Bruh. Can hold my head high if this is it done. Great news is my Bumble subscription is premium until December. :drool:
I’d say she wants to leg it. They normally roll out all this crap instead of just saying because it makes them feel better about themselves.
That said, no harm in giving the Bruh method a go first and see.
Your response was pretty needy tbh. Each exclamation mark was unnecessary. If somebody is overwhelmed, it's best not to shout at them.
Are you afraid of being single or are you genuinely mad for her? Did you ever come to terms with being single and truly comfortable in yourself? Might be too much too soon, maybe you're out of practice, or maybe she's not used to somebody being nice.
I get that feeling too, despite everything appearing to the contrary. Like I said that message was completely out of the blue after a really nice weekend so...but I can only act with decorum and if I take everything as a personal sleight I'm at fucking square one again. So thanks all.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
She sounds like damaged goods. Run a mile.
No, I'm afraid of not picking up what some might deem as obvious signs or red flags or whatever. I'm not mad at her at all, I just want to be myself without having to wind anything in or put a mask on. It's confusing for me because one minute she'll be saying adoring things the next I'm being told I'm smothering. Mixed messages, but I get letting yourself be open and genuine might be hard if you've been torn down before.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
My initial reaction was definitely in my head, though.
Anyway she hasn't text me back so I'm expecting a "can you drop off my coat" message tomorrow evening, especially if she doesn't message tonight. :thbup:
Hmm I'd be hesitant moving forward then, but no harm in carrying things on to find out for sure. Might as well get back on Bumble too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Maybe I'm the damaged goods. Someone raises a concern and my first thought is a personal attack? I've failed the first hurdle?
I didn't consider it Offy as I was so sure I was ready, but maybe I'm not, and more worryingly maybe I just don't know how to maintain a meaningful relationship without going too far in any direction.
She's challenged your behaviour in a way that's always going to force some deep consideration. Whether it's fair is really difficult to judge without a transcript of your dates, though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
You need to be comfortable acting however you see fit, but you also need to be sure that your behaviour is good for all involved. If you want a loving relationship and you're comfortable acting the way you have, then I'd say you should seek a relationship where that's possible.
I thought I did have that to some extent...up until now. That's why I can't really understand or reflect appropriately. Or was I just lying to myself? She did tell she felt uncomfortable with pace when I asked her to come out for a couple of drinks with my friends. That was after a month. But I didn't read that as a negative on my part. My sister knows context so I'll run calling it off by her tonight so hopefully I can maintain some semblance of control of my own future.
She messaged me like nothing had happened just there.
So I've asked for a call in 5 mins. I've written notes on how I feel about this, so hopefully I can stay on point and not get sucked in to being an asshat.
Sounds like you're both just coming out of difficult relationships - just take it easy. Acknowledging you're both still figuring things out is enough.
He's screaming down the phone at her as we speak.
:roflol:Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
How did the call go?
He's only half way through the Powerpoint, give it time.
Well, I think. Though that could be terribly in all honesty.
I steered it towards breaking up and she burst in to tears lol and was confused so maybe I overreacted.
Anyway I obviously didn't go through a list, I just made points for gaining understanding. I was fully expecting a 'agreed' when I did steer it in that direction. However, as it didn't I was able to eat humble pie and attempt to get her.
It was actually a really interesting chat, in which I gained her frame of reference which I definitely didn't have before, and I think I explained myself well too.
Internally, it did raise an interesting point:
Wow, we can have such an in depth and complex conversation, where we both get each other and come away with appreciation and understanding so actions can be taken. But also fuck should such a call be required only 2 months in. I think if she was normal then Bruh's conclusion would be spot on and that's probably what would have happened.
We're both mental, for different reasons. It just might work, or it might end in disaster. I'm worried I'll never be able to have a 'normal' relationship. Oh well. See you all in two weeks.
Jesus Magic.
I should just stay single and only ever engage in shallow sex. I don't get relationships at all. Fucking nightmare.
Give yourself a bit of time bloke.
No wonder you married who you did
Nothing should be this hard 5 minutes in. It sounds like the pair of you need to chill the fuck out and, if I'm honest, like a volatile mess of a relationship is on the cards.
Fuck her off.
I’d say you need to work on yourself before getting into a relationship, Magic. If your first thought after receiving a text of her legitimate concerns is “fuck off then” I think it shows you’re not in the right frame of mind for this. Take some time to sort yourself out properly and try again because this sounds like it ain’t working out for either of you.
You just need to fucking relax. You'd over complicate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at this point.
Magic. You need to chill and get a Gremlin.
Wtf did you just say? :sick:Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
I took nearly a year. How much time is enough time? Clearly unless I address these issues as and when they happen I'll be unwittingly harbouring them until something happens and they rise to the surface. Issues I can't deal with if I'm on my own.
It's not 'this hard 5 minutes in', it's the first point she's raised. My issue was I had no idea and I thought I was doing really well. Is it any wonder that was my initial reaction?
I'm just overwhelmingly disappointed in myself for:
1) Not being aware
2) Reacting like that
3) Overthinking to the point of calling it off
We move on. Should it arise again, then clearly it's my issue that's incompatible with a healthy relationship and I will be calling it off at that point if it's raised again. Quite a test of character for me now, and I'm more comfortable, much more comfortable than I would be fucking it all off and being left confused and frustrated again. That's my decision, rightly or wrongly.
“I was doing so well” is the wrong way to look at a relationship and is super unhealthy. It’s not a performance...
Do you think she’s well fit?
If the answers yes, forget about everything else and continue to frequently smash her salmon garage doors in.
Wait do you guys not have PB+J??????????????Quote:
Originally Posted by Bam
Ok nope can you elaborate? It was in reference to myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
No. It's very much an American thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
I mean, we have peanut butter (rank) but jelly is 'jell-o' to you guys.
I think mug has misunderstood, like you were measuring your performance in the relationship, rather than in terms of your own mental health and progress you were making.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
.
Aren't you an incel?
'But thanks anyway!'
:D
All pretty spot on, though. Spooky you can get that from all my posts.
The Gremlin has now developed a weird skin infection on her hands and feet. It's like she is evolving or spawning another version of herself. Im really nervous now. Why I even got involved with her in the first place. I am a complete idiot.
Post pics.
My life is good.
Yeah that’s what I meant, but that’s definitely also how it readsQuote:
Originally Posted by mo
Image of The Gremlin and her evolving form. She claims its a skin infection, possibly from the latex gloves she uses at work. But I don't believe that story. She is a shape-shifting lizard. Viewer discretion is advised.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Toggle Spoiler
Man hands. The cock must be pulled out of you.
Why is it everytime Sincy gets laid somebody involved gets skin rot? :sherlock:
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Maybe you're onto something. Maybe im the problem..Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Was she wearing the gloves inside-fucking-out? And working on a leprosy ward?
We used to have that in Intel. Tell her to try nitrilite gloves.
She touched Sincere's cock which is even worse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
but if she has a latex allergy wouldn't her.... oh wait that's right.
She binned me off :moop:Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
:D
Oh fuck. What the hell happened? I was hearing the toll of TTH wedding bells? Sorry igor. :console:
Shit what did happen? That terrifies me.
He kept trying to talk about Christmas films so he could tell her why Die Hard is the best one and she saw it coming a mile off.
He tried to taste one of her farts.
We need to think of something ZANY!!! to do today love.
Norwich babes are wild
Gremlins and Ghostbusters win this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
so we really not gonna get the story ? lol
Ah it's not really very interesting. That was date FIVE, but since date one she's consistently rainchecked me/changed plans last minute.
Date three I was meant to go round for dinner, but an hour before she said "ah my flatmate has just got the plane back from Germany so I need to make her dinner, but I'll go for a quick drink with you". Very nearly fucked her off after that, but I figured I'd nowt else going on so might as well persist. After that I started being a bit more UNAVAILABLE, replied to messages slower, told her I was busy on x day but could do y day etc (vs being a proper fucking doormat at first cus i was a bit blinded by my attraction) and she was a lot more attentive and receptive for a while after that.
Date 4 I went round for food at hers, lots of hugging and snogging and she was stroking my hair and shit. After that was when I was all buzzing about it on here.
This date she first suggested we go for lunch on her break, which doesn't bode well on a 5th date with someone you've not shagged yet, unless she fancied giving me a handjob in wagamamas toilets. She then agreed to evening instead, but only a quick drink. Could see the writing on the wall tbh. We had a nice time but I could sense zero spark. Was about to be all "so wtf is going on here", when she was like "ahh so there's something I need to talk about which is kinda awkward.." and I just basically smiled and said don't worry I'm not blind, I can read signals (mostly a lie tbh), it's okay. She then just said that she had thought about things and she just isn't ready for dating (I'm aware she means isn't ready for dating ME, but I appreciate the politeness), apologised for being flaky and shit, and said that she enjoyed my company and wanted to stay friends so many times I just about believed it.
When I left i was a bit gutted, but more in a "back to the fucking drawing board" way. Mostly just massively relieved the headfuck was over, and to my surprise I was still upbeat and chirpy the next morning. Guess deep down I always knew it was a likely possibility.
Jesus fucking christ, tldr
Sounds like I was closest.
I've not seen die hard but I just remembered drunkenly initiating a discussion on best xmas singles last year so I could piss off my mate by saying always on my mind by pet shop boys was the best and I was glad it beat fairytale of New York to number one, so fair enough.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
I want to ask how you've never seen it but risk falling into my own shit pit.
"I've not seen Die Hard".
Fucking hell.
Despite my autistic knowledge and interest in pop music, films have always been a gigantic hole in my cultural awareness. Broken home, mummy never watched films (it feels like my mum has sat down to watch a film about 25 times in the last 20 years, and about 17 of those times are rewatching Harry Potter or LOTR films) and I only ever watched sitcoms and FOOTY with my dad at weekends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
I got into films as a poncy 16 year old so mostly skipped the mainstream canon to watch wanky arthouse bullshit. Obviously.
I just reread that and it sounds like I'm trying to use a separated parents sob story to distract from not seeing die hard but I just forgot my train of thought that family trips to the cinema and shit just wasn't a thing etc. I spose my parents breaking up is barely relevant to that but it's deffo too late to edit my post now.
Dry your eyes lad. No wonder she bailed.
:D cunt
I'm stuck on your use of 'mummy'. Fuck Die Hard, that's the issue here.
Yeah sorry, even ironically it's pretty annoying isn't it? My bad. Is die hard even any good?Quote:
Originally Posted by John
It's very good, but the basic formula has been copied so many times over the years that if you watched it for the first time now you probably wouldn't see the fuss.
Still watch it mind, can’t have people knowing you have never seen the greatest Christmas movie.
Had sex last night :joy:
I hope you didn't use protection.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Yeah, you and Sincy could be knobrot buddies.
This. Some zany anecdotes about being a new Dad would be outstanding reading.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
I've settled on having fun. Fuck long term and serious stuff.
Tldr I can't see this lasting. I need someone who is emotionally rock solid, self assured, confident, and not an evil cunt. Does that exist.
They do but the chance of a free undamaged one goes down like a cliff with age, so get to work.
.
Yeah they exist but they're not gonna end up with youQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I know, they probably think the same thing. God damnit.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
Are you recommending noncery?Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Whatever you’re into. But no, you need to find one that has travelled or dived into career and is only looking to settle late. The unfortunate thing is that most single women your age will be divorced or as good as divorced and will be absolute headcases because of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Ask your dad for tips.
Exactly why I packed it in years ago tbh. Give up on romance, lads, it's just chemicals in your brain anyhow.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Thumb.
Is it strange that when I typed out "packed it in" my brain went to exactly that ^^^
That's depression isn't it?Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
In this day and age of EVERYTHING MUST BE MENTAL HEALTH it’s probably called that. But no, he’s just a bit pissed off in reality and will get over it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Ya I don't think everything has to be depression nor do I think I'm pissed off. I'm totally fine with my fate and accept it as such.
Best of luck to you fellers, though.
If I was surrounded by American women I think I'd have become celibate too.
If there's one thing the British have no right to be haughty about, it's the quality of their womenQuote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Matched on bumble on weds. Unfeasibly fit. We were gonna meet this week but on Thursday she said "I'm at the pub and my mate has flaked, but I'm already dressed so I'll just have a drink on my ones". I, smooth as fuck, informed her I was also dressed so could join if she liked. She was game.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I think the slightly spontaneous nature of it made me a lot looser, without the time to get nervous as the prearranged date would have ominously gotten closer.
Went a couple of pubs, she was flirty from the start. I went for a kiss at the last pub but she rolled her eyes and said you have to work up to that, and made me hold her hand. Walked her home, and she initially said I couldnt come in, but after we snogged she said "ah that was good, you can come in but just cuddling". When she started taking her pants off in her bedroom I figured we were doing more than cuddling.
It gets weirder tbf. I dunno what came over me but I tentatively put my nob around her arse and she pushed it in. Half way through she said "fuck I've never done anal before", and I replied, quite honestly (shocking I know considering my predilictions for arses), that I hadn't either. 10/10 would bum again.
I'm seeing her again this week.
Gosh, really playing hard to get there making you wait several hours before taking it up the arse.
If only it was true.
I genuinely promise it's 100% accurate.
I did think that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
We're talking about voices and personalities here. Of which, the closest we have to your average American Woman is Ann Widdecombe.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
If a lass puts out on the first date then that's enough for me to know they aren't relationship material. I know it's hypocritical as you tend to go out and about to get laid but ultimately, I'd have more respect for said woman if she rejected my advances. Of course you would go balls deep if the opportunity arose but that's about as far as it would go. A fuck buddy and nothing more.
I dunno, I find it quite refreshing. The last one strung me along for 6 weeks and 5 dates with nowt but a snog and a grope and then sacked me off so tbh I quite like the forwardness.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
So does your bretheren.
I wouldn't say that's stringing you along, I'd say that was your game wasn't good enough.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
You're looking for a relationship or you're looking for fun?
I dunno, she was weird from the start. Maybe I could have won her round with GAME but I doubt it. She was flaky and talking about her ex from day 1.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
And I'm not looking for anything specifically, but I'm open to either.
I bet you sat there and lent a sympathetic ear to her woes of failed relationships. I would normally nip that sort of chat in the bud because quite honestly, I don't want to hear about why your ex was a cunt. Always three sides. Hers. His. Truth. It's a sign of someone who isn't over them or damaged goods.
I stuck Tinder on the phone just yesterday but given I lasted a mere few days on PoF a few weeks/months back, I ain't holding much hope. I find it all so boring and people annoy me in general, I'd rather date an animal. Not the sort DS dates but you know what I mean.
I live in South Florida, there's probably more better looking women within 5 square miles than there is in your entire country.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Probably. But again, that's not the point I'm making.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
How are you doing with these South Florida women then, Bruh?
I already told you I gave that life up !Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
lol oh... ok.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Anal on the first date, FFS. :D
"i've never done this before!"
yaaaaaaa aight.
No spit, no lube, it just went straight in.
Never done it before? :D Fuck off.
I’d say it was like a clowns pocket.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
In other news my thing is going much better now. Thanks all, it was and still is massively appreciated. :)
Maybe she saw Igors dick and just saw her chance to give it a go, you know?
Never went the back way myself. Is the sensation that much better or is it more of a conquest type of thing?
Igor lacks a bit of girth?
Paedo fantasies.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Confused men.
She knew it wouldn't touch the sides.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
Make sure you see all her pussy papers. Girls who take it in the ass are a different breed altogether. Make sure everything is certified.
Yeah, after the few aborted drunken attempts at doing anal with exes with no preparation, I was quite surprised at how easy it went in. Very briefly thought "shit, maybe I was just really battered and I just came in her fanny bareback, and "i've never done anal before" had just been "I've never done this before", and she was referring to shagging on the first date", but then realised that was ridiculous beer fear hangover paranoia. Especially as afterwards we did the more conventional and she insisted on a condom for that part.
So yeah no baby Igors but I should probably get myself tested. Idiot.
You're an animal yourself for even doing anal on the first date. For me, that is equal to fucking a chick on her cycle.
Savage mode [ON] OFF
You fucking dopey prick. Give your head a wobble, igor.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Do you use condoms for anal?
You should. :cab:
This is mental.
This place needs an AIDS registry.
Nah it's fine, gay men have never contracted STI's.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Raw dogging the shit canal. Fair play.
Im germ free me :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
Im surprised so many dont get tested on a regular though.
Add that to the benefits of being gay.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
... Jesus, don't take that at face value.
Don't worry, Mahow works in a sex clinic.
Bruh we need to keep our people safe.
@SincereTheRebel
Our people?
Racism has no place on TTH. :nono:
Our as in forum members.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Apologies if read another way.
Calm. I thought I needed to add you with myself and AE when I look in the mirror.
The Gremlin and I have parted ways. I appreciated her drive to seduce me. I nearly fell deep into her web of love but in the end. My life is all about me so we decided, its best to leave.
I'm officially off the market lads. :cool:
:cool: nice one sir.
What's his name?
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Vercetti
Thumbing. :cool:
She's fit :beer:
LOL after the FACEBOOK thing today my ex-father in law asked me how THE ROMANCE was going. It was literally the most awkward thing in my entire life. Even more awkward than Waff offering my dad patsy.
Give us more details.
About the new Ms. Magic, that is.
"Not that I was stalking you or anything...we were just on Facebook and the memories thing and it just popped up or something"
"Good for you to get back on the horse...not that I'm saying she's a horse or anything...she's a bonny lass"
And just loads of awkward, horrific cliches with silences that should have been filled with true open feelings...and lot's of swearing.
:lol:
They'll come for the rest of your stuff.
EDIT: Wait, silences? Did you meet for coffee or something?
She's amazing, I got over that horrific barrier where I pressed self destruct (as witnessed by you all, which had repercussions far beyond my relationship with her) and I managed to save everything. I am so proud of myself.
We talked about how we felt, she was scared I didn't feel the same way as I was holding back trying to play it cool I guess and let her take the lead. So she did, and I told her I loved her. Her eyes lit up and she said it back. The new Stormzy album was on in the background. It was perfection.
:)
:happycry:
Sign a prenup this time.
Nah I was dropping Amber off and he just waffled shite for 30 minutes about a pension or something. So I listened and I said I need to go about 5 times before he came out with it. I was like LOL. Asking if I'd introduced her to Amber. I'm not an idiot (like you're daughter mate).Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
:henn0rz:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Sounds amazing. All the best to you two. :joy:
Thanks. :)
I'm super happy, but it's as a result of me being me and happy within myself (despite the hiccups). There's no way I'd have met a girl like her without really figuring my own self out first. I do feel much more in control of myself, like no obsession, no anxiety, no worry, no need to see her 24x7. It's just a pleasure when I do see her and I do miss her, but don't require her to live. It's pretty incredible.
Here's to 2020 and what it brings.