did you not message at like 8:30 saying wtf?
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did you not message at like 8:30 saying wtf?
Yeah i don’t know then. Maybe your dick was out when you saw the mutual friend
i was tempted but i couldn't trust myself to construct a message that didn't either a) come across super needy or b) come across bitter and aggressive. i thought the best bet was to just leave it.
if i actually liked her i'd be pretty gutted and would have definitely messaged her, but i'm really not arsed so i've no real reason to be annoyed other than an immature sense of being wronged.
it's more HOW DARE SHE DO THAT TO ME, than awww does this mean she don't wanna have sex with igor anymore :(
i think this is much worse tbh
I'm here with her now and she says you're a berk.
Toggle Spoiler
I ended up messaging her on the sunday, basically saying maybe not then lol, couldn't resist being a sarky twat. She replied "sorry hahaha we went back and watched love island and got too drunk". Shame, really. I didn't really want to shag her anymore but I had sort of considered her a decent mate, and she was always good value as a drinking companion even without the sex.
Now in the market for a new friends with benefits wreckhead. Might have to go Dundee and suck off Waff in exchange for lines.
You don't want to be the sarky twat. It's unhealthy. I wouldn't recommend going to Dundee either
Being a snarky twat is one of life’s great pleasures.
The single most.
Y sure you don’t wanna bang her? Sort of seems to me like you doQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
"I don't want to bang her but I mean COME ON!"
- https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...62/427/2f7.jpg
No sir. You have to learn to take and accept the loss.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
You still have little pops at Mahow for doing you out of a tenner about six months ago, and I think you got it back in the end anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
It's less that I want to bang her, more than I'm offended that she doesn't want to bang me. You don't fire me, I quit, etc.
Im speaking about females. And it was £22 but with interest, it's now about £200 but thanks for the reminder.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
Two year wedding anniversary today 🤙
Nice. What is the traditional gift after two years?
Looks like after two years, you get cotton. Hopefully you don't have to pick it yourself.
Paper.
He can just get her a ream and she should be grateful.
That's American.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
In the UK first one is cotton.
We did paper first year and then cotton this year, didn't realise it was the wrong way round as all the UK gift sites online seem to go with the US format. Next year is ice cream which I'm looking forward to.
I'll get her a cotton t-shirt later today.
I went with romantic socks, with the main appeal of it being a matching set so really I've bought myself some new socks.
How often do you have sexy time? Most of the people I know who are married, tell me it does not happen as often as I would expect which is daily.
I'm happy to see we do it the American way.
Just to confirm, what is it meant to be for 2 years? Cos we did paper last year, so was indeed going for cotton this year.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
PS what’s an actual good present for cotton?
Two years is paper in the UK.
Lol at you fucking weirdos paying attention to this shit.
It's just a bit of fun and i'm sure it actually saves on having to buy ridiculous jewelry or what have you every year?
https://i.imgur.com/pyoFQWs.jpg
If you can hack a full decade you get a year off
That one is for the males that are married already. Only they can assist with thais one.
Yes but you reduce from when you first meet. I think that's natural in all relationships.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Compare how much you masturbate now to how much you masturbated when you were 14. Big shifts.
Surely once you get married and live with each other, see each other every day. It should increase.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kikó
You masturbate more when you are younger but that's become nobody is there to do it for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
Also because you have less stress, responsibilities, hobbies...
You have a never ending supply of your favourite food in the fridge. For a while, it’s all you eat, but after a while you want to eat... this turned out to be a cheating metaphor. Abort.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
I can understand that sex may not be the most interment for husband and wife and they get satisfaction in other areas as you both have built a life together. But its really difficult to accept that is just slows down as the standard. Not wonder ive never met a happy husband and wife.
I know plenty. I’m happy and I hope my other half is.
*open goal*
You've never met a happy couple? That's pretty shit.
Its sounds farfetch'd but I do not know any married couple that is happy. I don't know many so the pool is small but they are either divorced or at each other's throats all day. People younger than me have been married and got divorced. Im putting it down the lack or decrease in sexual activity and also how most males that I know, do not consider their wife as their friend which is another problem.
It seems as if modern couples struggle to get along. It's scary and it sets a bad example for people like me who are scared to get married because I don't want those type of headaches. There are too many distractions.
I think like any relationship, there are many that last and many that don't. If you don't get on with your partner or treat them like a friend, married or not it's not going to work.
You don't need to be married to have less sex and vice versa.
Sincere, i can’t believe you’re 30 and still haven’t accepted the fact that you have less sex with someone after knowing them for 20 years than you did after knowing them for 20 days. I can’t imagine anything more obvious/normal
That being said, if you’re not having sex at all, or if the sex isn’t fun anymore, then that does suck
As an addendum, i know plenty of happy couples. The couples that are unhappy tend to be composed of individuals that would generally be unhappy with themselves if they were single too.
I think I want a girlfriend. It's been 5 years lads, I think I'm ready for some commitment.
I'd take diminishing returns relationship sex over my current NO SEX.
That's not normal or acceptable to me. If you are around your spouse more, it should increase. Not decrease. Seeing how it decreasing is considered normal, sounds like a problem.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
I understand how the sexual drive can decrease with age, etc. But regardless of where you are or what you are doing, you would rather be curled up with your wife or husband (I hope)
Defintely does not work like that at all.
Headache.
That's what she'll say a lot of the time, yeah.
Or you will.
Do you still play with your Action Man / Gameboy / Favourite childhood toy? No? Why not? Did the urge to do so not increase over time? Literally nothing (bar addictive substances) stays as interesting as it once was.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
This is your wife we are talking about here. Not a toy. If your wife isn't interesting anymore, that is what divorce for. Leave and move on. If you are not happy, leave and move . However, often couples are stuck together because of children, bills and other factors. Someone on here had an issue where they were stuck with their wife because her family was chronically ill. Sometimes you just cant leave. Even abusive relationships. Some people just cant leave the situation they are in.
I dont want to be in any of those postions. You man and others in my life are doing a great job convincing me that married life does not sound great at all.
Marriage has nothing to do with it and short of bouncing from fling to fling (or bagging Nympho) you are going to find that going at it hammer and tongs is never going to last. It’s actually pretty sad that your view of happiness in a relationship is tied THIS much to sex. Sex is great, We have it frequently enough to keep me (us) happy, but it isn’t at the forefront of my mind at all times.
Spot on. Never mind marriage, but throw kids in the mix and you're lucky to be awake long enough a quickie every week.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
I’d be happy with a handjob every week at the moment, Christ.
It's no big surprise that Sincere's understanding of relationships is roughly the same as those bellends from Inbetweeners.
Need to figure out what it is about me, that attracts weirdo’s around me that are not happy.
I'd high five that except it didn't take much effort to figure out why I attract them.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Enjoy relationships for the lifelong companionship they provide, a love and a best friend. Obviously not every relationship will be that way all the time, but provided youre both not neurotic, you’ll be fine. And make sure she’s sexy and stays fit - the saddest thing is someone who lets themselves go. I can imagine it’s a tough position to be in to love someone and yet no longer be sexually attracted to them
The look of her isn't the most important anymore. It's the personality which is the biggest factor.
Being able to laugh at herself is my missus best quality.
Edit: Although missus is a word that does wind her up.
"My missus" is one of the few pieces of jargon common and unique to both Commonwealth 30-somethings and Southern Confederate sympathizers.
Yeah, Harpinder and Mohammed are always using ‘my missus’ (OI OI) in their vocabulary.
I thought Harpinder was a girl name? Lesbian tier?
We don’t have them in the Commonwealth. Another thing we share with the Confeds.
What really is starting to irritate me is when you see a girl for the first time and you start talking. I put my best moves on her and ask her for her number and he says
”are you on Instagram?”
I had the courage to come up and speak to you in real life and you want to put me in the bracket with those other simp’s on your Insta page? This has happened at least three times for me this year. Ive never took the Insta add (Im not on Insta). I keep it moving after that. The energy I get back, its not bad energy. I think they believe it's in their best interest to do everything via the gram. I want numbers to call directly.
You've probably just creeped them out.
Got a new missus, its going so damn well. Went back to hers on the second date and spent five of the last seven days there.
How many limbs is she missing?
They genuinely wanted to put me in the Instagram box. That is like the new standard way to communicate it seems.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Soldier
Id be pleased if a girl let me put myself in any of their boxes atm. Tho got a tinder date on Thursday lads. Wish me luck.
Go straight for the neck lad.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Fully limbed for once.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Try Bumble lads, its legit.
A 31 year old in my team at work, who has the best bum ever, has decided to somewhat fall for me. She has two kids and a boyfriend (though it’s been rocky for years - clearly a wife beater). Text last week saying they’ve split up. I’m looking forward to being murdered and giving her another child.
She’s decent:-
Toggle Spoiler
That’s great. In a month you’ll have the kids’ names tattooed to your balls.
Terrifying.
Rebound.
She's shapey anyway.
She's just uggo
If she had her two ankles pinned to her ears then there wouldn't be one thing wrong with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
Posting her pic is top Waff behaviour. :D
I’m sure she’s nice enough. The one on the right would have been better though.
Lol at Trina.
Quality
The middle one looks like the one who will end up murdering you, Waff.
She's got a proper maternal-fat-gangster-slag vibe going on.
This.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
She's not.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
She’s orite. Some of you are right picky.
Does Magic know this girl?
Yes.
Hahahahahhaahha. Unbelievable scenes. The other is her sister who is indeed younger and better. She’s better in person though.
"best bum ever"
posts picture of a piece of plywood
And why the fuck do they not brush their hair? Is the "I just got fucked in the closet" look 'in' across the pond?
It's Dundee tbf
Carnoustie m9.
Britain has wind. Florida does not. (Better cover my arse with some sort of hurricane reference. Oops)Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
For what its worth I'd slay fuck out of her Waff.
Scenes.
Can you even get it up with all the antidepressants you're on?Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Soldier
Dont pull out Waff.
Wrecked more fanny than you've had pints lad.Quote:
Originally Posted by leedsrevolution
Of course not.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
You haven't wanked the amounts of pints I've had.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Soldier
That reads like you've drank many, many pints of spunk mate. Not judging, whatever gets you through the day.
That's exactly how it was meant to read. Have you not tried, my complexion is radiating.
DS/LR exchanges really light my fire.
I truly believe older women are better than young ones (of age!). An experienced woman performs better in every area.
Did you just get spanked by a Milf and had an epiphany, or what?
We also have 95% humidity but you don't see these broads out here looking ridiculousQuote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
I don't know what epiphany means so ill take it as you being offensive. Fuck off.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
It means you've realized you actually like to be dominated and maybe hurt a little, like the little bitch you are.
Take that how you will, of course. I'm not judging, man.
Well you had best not tell Trina that Waff is posting pictures of her and her family on a FM message board then, you defiantly shouldn't send her a link to that last page.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I defiantly won't.
That's defiantly a good idea.
I don’t know the girl he knows and they’re certainly not family.
:henn0rz:
They probably are. Inbred cunts.
Looking (and sounding) ridiculous is the only thing your broads have.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
jeez mj linking anything on here to someone in real life would be mutually assured destruction
Also girl was leaving bank, thought I recognised her. Realised she looked a bit like a girl I matched on tinder. Messaged asking if she was just at my work and she was like "OMG ITS YOU!!".
Asked if she fancied a drink Friday, said she was out with work colleagues. Said I'd message her when she got back from uni at Xmas or she could message me when out cus I'll be out Friday anyway, she politely said yeah but I assumed thatd be that.
She just messaged me saying she'll meet me at 10 when she's finished with work people. Agreeing to meet me after drinking (and already knowing what I look like)...surely a shag right??
Erm, probably not.
will you shag me
Erm, probably not.
She would definitely be up for a game of hide the chorizo, Igor.
My main problem with Igor is he sounds like it's always his first time.
"I met this lass and then we talked about things so i sed this and then she sed dat and we sed yes so now i'm just waiting to see if she shows up for the thing or not or not."
Followed by, "she didnt text me in two days so its prbably overr. met another internet lass who says she likes me aywayz,lol."
And he has a large foreskin with a small penis, which probably doesn't help him.
Honestly I have the right level of low self esteem that it's hugely exciting whenever a girl shows any interest. Plus no internal monologue.
Large foreskin and slightly below average penis*
Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Oh yeah, :lewis:
100%.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
You all say things like "fanny", I'm not bothered by this critique whatsoever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Besides, imagine comparing that broken gypsy girl to one of the finest women Florida has to offer. A dios mio papacito.
Britain has pretty much the least attractive women of any nation on Earth, you can't compare it to the beauty Latinas
Yank birds are on mass fat slags.
Dunno what that sentence means
It means you should have been a wank.
three dates in 6 days, date number one has bailed tonight. if all three flake i'm calling the fucking romanian.
:drool:
I'm really hoping that happens, you two are perfect for each other.
Ended up necking on with the aforementioned Mother and work colleagues after work today. The uproar tomorrow when we were inevitably caught.
Well done you had a threesome.
Colleagues he says, so at least a foursome. Waff. :cool:
Going on a date with a 19 year old Italian au pair on Sunday, lolz.
Another tinder date then? :cool:
And pics.
The date will get cancelled when one of the kids gets shaken.
Igor added me on FB and a rogue like gave away that he was stalking through photos so I did the same and I can see how he pulls the Tinder birds now but he was getting up to these hijinks years ago when, no offense Chess-Friend, you looked like the urban dictionary picture for 'fat emo'.
Now you're looking bae as fuck. Ignore Richard Ashcroft mate, the drugs are working.
Phonics :wub:
Anyway, lads. I'm meeting this girl 2ish, we've agreed thus far on "a drink" and dinner, any suggestions on stuff to do?
I'd be happy to just drink from when we meet until we get dinner, but normal people seem to like, i dunno, doing things. If we were meeting later I'd just suggest drink, dinner, more drinks, but the ~3pm-6pm slot might require more finesse.
This is miles off whatever my areas of expertise are but if she's agreed "A drink" hours before dinner surely she knows more than one drink is happening?
This is true but she's foreign mate fuck knows what's going through her crazy head. Also being 19 and Italian means she's gonna be no fucking use on the pub quiz machine.
Dangerously close to applying logic there sir, an easy trap to fall into.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
Maybe she thinks lunch is called dinner like our northern contingent.
TBH I don't really like ACTIVITY dates, especially on a first date, so I'm hoping the multiple drinks thing has been assumed by my goomah, but I'd just quite like some sorta backup if I sense that ain't the vibe. What the fuck do people even do, though? I'm not going fucking ice skating.
Mini golf was always the obvious choice when I was a young 'un. Especially during the day.
You're going on a date with a 19 year old Italian au pair, and you're asking TTH what to do?
/kilroy
:lol:
Send her to an Italian restaurant then.
IDK but don't send her to Spoons for fuck sake.
I think he’s planning on going with her.
Play it cool.
Who arranges for a first date at 2pm? That's such an odd time. Just after you could meet for lunch but wayyyy too long till dinner/drinks without getting blackout in the interim.
It's suspicious. I say that as someone who hasn't gone out on a date in... 3 years maybe? So you know I'm right.
Ha well I'm working Saturday, so said we could meet 5ish or do Sunday and she said she preferred earlier Sunday. I'd have rather done Saturday evening.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Go to a pub that has pool tables.
And then bend her over one. LAD.
Pool is a very good option. I am stealing this idea. As long as you can not be that arsehole telling them how to take every shot, you're in.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
If you're meeting up at 2 on a Sunday can you not just go for a [Sunday] lunch in a pub?
The foods a bit heavy for post meal coitus.
Not a bad shout. And I dunno about coitus, maybe some heavy petting.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
So I went on a date last night. First official date Ive been in a long time. Im testing the route of an older female. It didn't go well. I got to the restaurant on time and she arrived late. That isn't a big deal and I can overlook that.
First thing I noticed, is when she pulled up, she had bald tires on her car. So I knew from the start, this is a sloppy female who does not take care of herself. Immediately I expected things to end badly.
Within 20 minutes of speaking to her, she is bringing up her old bad relationships with her previous partners. I really don't want to hear those stories at all, and im being informed on the first date.
I know im really harsh on females, and im trying not to treat them differently based on the things they say or do but it is difficult.
I told her at the end night it was a new experience for me and I didn't really like the evening. She was OK with it though. I was expecting a breakdown.
I got a text this morning asking ”What didn't you like about me?”
People who say the word 'females' are sex offenders in waiting.
Sounds like the worst date ever. Restaurant doesn't strike me as first date material. Bar is better as you're less bound by the rules of the table (and can fuck off to the bar if it's awkward).
Wut.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Is 'bald tires' some sort of euphemism I'm not familiar with in that context, or are you actually judging someone on the tires (tyres) on their car? That's beyond mental.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yeah, judging her by her tyres (how close were you to her car ffs?) is pretty harsh.
You going to respond?
Yes, bald tires. Tires on the car were bald. Clearly, she for bot value her own life. How do you think she will value mine.
I text her back saying, I just don't like you. First impressions are everything and the attitude and personality were just not nice to be around.
:D
Fucks' sake mate.
You've adequately ruined her weekend. Congratulations.
At least tell her to change her tyres for the sake of her future relationships.
This makes Lewis' bald hating look like nothing. Up your game Lou.
Did you at least wish her a happy Christmas?
I lolled out loud at that tyres bit.
With winter coming, the bald tyres hate seems fully justified.
@igor_balis how was the Italian?
Ah shite.
Whilst building up the courage to bail she bailed. The morning of the date I was hungover and I felt like getting a train to milton keynes to hang out with an 18 year old (even younger than you!!) was a fucking shit idea, seemingly she thought similarly about getting a bus to milton keynes to see me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
I'm currently chatting on tinder to a half Finnish half Israeli American who seems quite cool though. She's 27, studying to be a human rights lawyer and only lives 5 minutes away on the train. Might not mention Corbyn.
Hows your love life spoony?
I'm with my girlfriend for 10 months now. (She's also Israeli-American so I can vouch for that.) So... nice but boring.
i like how open everyone on TTH is with their autism
@SincereTheRebel Are you a fan of Jordan Peterson?
Milf from work said she has feelings for me. I like her but it was only meant to be a bit of fun. She is getting better looking by the day now she’s not depressed though and her body is honestly incredible right now.
Step kids :drool:
Toggle Spoiler
Jesus
This place is a fucking nut house.
It’s only right my Fathers of the Internet see who their Son is busting a nut inside!
I'm not sure introducing a father-son dynamic is ideal considering the questionable decision to post a picture of someones kids.
You can say that twice.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Or, over and over and over.
I dont know who that is. Why do you ask?Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
He is a life coach/daddy for a lot men on the internet. Gives out lot of advice about getting ones life together etc and your critique about that poor womans tyres came across as something Jordan Peterson would say.
I love this place so much.
Waffelz is donning it.
:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Posting a picture of some woman's kids is pretty fucked up tbh...
Fit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
Waff I'll take you on a double date with the blonde.
Is bald tyres a euphemism?
My best guess so far as to what Sincere must mean with it is "Shaved balls"
She’s not the best so she is all yours, Sir. Bought some quality Ribeye Steaks for her to cook for tea as well as some white wine. Living the high life xQuote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Red is far superior but it’s her favourite so I’ll have a Capri Sun or two instead.
Why? Chances are they’re readily available on social media anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
Yeah which she put up there.
I doubt she'd have given permission to post pictures of her kids on an forum of the off-topic discussion of a football manager forum.
We're not a football manager forum.
The off topic section of a football manager forum.Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
We're just a weird little corner of internet nowadays.
Like a window into the past.
Well plenty of people have their profiles set to only be visible to friends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
In the same way she probably displays photos of her kids in her house but wouldn't want them plastered on the wall of a public bog.
How close is this to a full blown meltdown?
Errr, not very?
Everyone is just jealous of Waffelz and her ting.
Can we link her. Magic?
Is a milf strictly anyone with a child? I feel like a milf should look at least 40.
By definition, they can be mothers of any age.
I believe that has been defined under 'Mature'.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
I knew I'd seen her before!Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
Toggle Spoiler
Baz you twat :D
Where's the 'mature'?Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Run a mile waffles.
Get your pimp on waff. I want older women too. If she has children, even better. Women my age and younger that I attract, can't do a thing for me.
No, hun xQuote:
Originally Posted by Kikó
Wife's pregnant, so I'm adding DILF to my email signature from June onwards
Wullie. :cool:
Which Coventry City legend are going to be naming the baby after?
I'm floating Steph Ogrizovic in the discussion early doors
Just go with Michael/Michel and don't tell her it's dedicated to the Maltese Messi.
Marcus is a contender, although there's the fear that it would grow up thinking it's after Tudgay rather than Hall and I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
Congratulations, la
The future of TTH is being secured. Congrats.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
Rico(h) might be the worst option I can think of.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
I hope he inherits those paint skills. :drool:
Someone do the honours.
Rennie.
Mustapha.
Freddy-Eastwood Wullie.
Wullie, if TTH can raise enough money for a charity of your choice between now and the birth, can we get naming rights? We could have you on BBC Breakfast explaining your viral success in weeks.
I wouldn't be able to handle being friends with an Israeli let alone date one unless they were critical of their country's ongoing occupation of Palestine and the associated human rights abuses.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
We must be due another of these threads. Maybe just for the sporting year seeing as we never bothered for the World Cup.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Every time people have tried to recreate the legend it's failed miserably.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
I know right. On top of that, imagine if she had bald tyres too!Quote:
Originally Posted by Panda Bear
Almost got a laugh. Almost.
'You're looking gorgeous tonight, but... darling, it's the Golan Heights.'
That sounds like something Jeremy Corbyn might have once said. Probably not to Dianne Abbott though.
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Good work.
There have been at least two decent MS Paint threads* that I remember so that's just not true, is it?Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
*By which I mean 'threads that Wullie bossed and a couple of other people added decent additions in."
My zionist babe cancelled on me cus of uni work (4th straight tinder date that's bailed last minute, i can't rule it out as shit personality or ugliness cus they were aware of that when they agreed to the dates initially, still gonna stick with bad luck unless it happens another couple of times), so I'm in the clear.Quote:
Originally Posted by Panda Bear
I am mates with an Israeli bloke though; me, my mate that slept in the bed of @mugbull's flatmate and the fella ended up left in the same msn multi-convo and bonded over an interest in 80s indie and electronica. Absolute freak, but in a really endearing way. When we asked his taste in music he sent us both a notepad document that listed his favourite 50 or so bands, that he clearly just had there in case anyone asked that very question. Despite being 16, me and my mate visited his flat in Brondesbury and smoked weed with him (I had a freakout, stabbed a philosophy textbook with a pair of scissors and got into a taxi and asked the driver to take me back to normality), and when we arrived he asked if I smoked, and when I said I did he opened his bedside cabinet and gave me two 20 decks from what must have been a pile of about 1000 fags.
I don't know much about his politics, but occasionally he'd skype me from work once he'd moved back home, on the reception desk of a really grotty hotel in Tel Aviv, smoke a joint and tell me about all the old Jewish blokes bringing Arab prostitutes there (roughly 80% of the custom). He keeps trying to get me to move to Münster to get a job in the same call-centre as him, despite the fact I can't speak German. I feel like I'd excuse any batshit Zionist opinions just cus he's such a total mentalcase.
You need to write a Hunter S Thompson style novel.
Great Brexit Moments in MS Paint has some legs.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
I got some grant money to do research for the Israeli Ministry of Defense, but I never did the research. Does that make me a hero?
It makes you Mexican.
Like Robin Hood meets BDS.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
RIP Pepe.
Me too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Panda Bear
They're argumentative but they're nice people.
I might be alone in this these days but I really don't care what anyone's political or other opinions are. I am friends with some violently left wing people but we get along all the same. I just don't think it's important. I would be friends with an Israeli or a Palestinian if I liked them, regardless of what politicians of the same nationality happened to be getting up to at the time.
I hope the same standard is applied to people from other countries that also perform human rights violations, such as every other fucking country on the planet.
MM lack of nuance and a dose of both sides-ism, nice
Fwiw, native Israelis I know seem to be a lot more willing to be critical of their government than American Jews, and I think it's been backed up in opinion polling, which is pretty interesting.
I agree with you largely (and quite embarrassingly, it's definitely at least a little bit because of liking right-wing people like yourself on here) but there's obviously a point at which "someone I disagree with politically" becomes "someone I think is objectively a bad person", though being less quick to go from the former to the latter is part of growing up I think.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
Somebody you agree with politically could also be a cunt, so for normal people they aren't necessarily related.
It depends what it is, I guess. I'd have a real problem with racism and homophobia, but disagreeing on economic policy hardly seems like it matters.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
What is a bit of homophobia compared to the millions killed by austerity?
My mate is a big Tory telegraph character when it comes to politics and we argue often but it's ok. He'll be straight to the gulags.
The closest I've been to befriending a Jew was in a Wetherspoons, where I lead with "are you a zionist?" She refused to get into it and that was the end of that.
Interesting, thanks Tool.
I've been rumbled lads.
Local Match girl wants to meet up with me the mad lass.
Pleb :cool:
i was dancing with a slightly butch short-haired woman in her mid-late 30s last night for a good hour, after the amount of mdma i'd consumed i genuinely thought i was in love
I was on another date last night and I should probably slow down as everything now just seems to bother me. When the food came out, she was taking pictures of the plate. Not just one picture. Turning the plate around and spending a good few minutes taking multiple picture of the food. It really was irrating me. Then when I ask her about it, she starts doing the typical black women move. Getting all defensive andwobbling her neck and clicking her fingers.
Yeah taking pictures is weird as fuck that isnt you that is her. It hints that she is way too online...
I understand we live in a media evolved world. But it was ridiclous. Im due to start signing up to online dating websites and just set my search preferences. It will probably be so much easier and better for me and her.
Sounds like a good idea. Any social leagues around your area that play mixed team sports?
HahahaQuote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Went on 3 dates with a gal, didn't want to share with TTH until things got more serious as i didn't want Shindig to roast me for bottling it if I got bored. Luckily that won't be an issue as she's bloody binned me off already!! Shame, as she was cute. INCREDIBLE arse as well.
How long have you been single?
I have actually seen a few guests do this whilst peering out the kitchen window and I've got to be honest, it changed my previous opinion of people doing it. It's like a mini ego massage.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
It's nice to be on the other side of the fence.
I've been in a few flings and pseudo-relationships and that, but the last time I was properly officially 100% someone's "boyfriend" was September 2013. Generally have been quite happy with that state of affairs but deffo more open to the idea now than I have been for ages.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
People were taking photos of your food? I assume you've improved a hell of a lot since the Youtube video.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smjffy
What station are you on?
Babe Station
Taking pictures of food is too much for me. My friend and his dad send pictures of whatever they're eating to each other apparently. I later found out his dad has his own restaurant and that seemed to make sense but still.
I haven't been on a date since George W but by God if I did and a broad pulled out her phone to take a picture of her caesar salad I'd bin it all off.
How old are you Bruh?Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Marital Status?
Gender?
I think there's a limit to taking pictures of food.
If you're doing it for every meal (I'm sure the Asians started this) then it's shit.
30
Single
Male
I am sure that limit is one above the number you take isn't it, you massive cunt?
Play your cards right here and I think you've got a date, Bruh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Why so long?Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Isn't he black? :henn0rz:Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
The actress said to the bishop.
I only take a handful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
According to Google photos only 20 last year.
Give us your Instagram.
Play your cards right here and I think you've got a date, Mahow.
Bet he's re-activated his Faceparty.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bam
I look stupid and make very little money.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Bet he takes me somewhere nice.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Fancy a bum?Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Slut.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
I don't smoke but thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
:D
Remember Lpoolboy? Den we will cxxx
I've never heard of Faceparty.
I'll bring you somewhere with the finest lighting so it's perfect for pictures.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Love a bit of ale.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bam
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
https://www.faceparty.com/
Something about going to his uncle's villa and getting drunk I seem to also remember.
My god, it's still going! But who on earth actually uses it??Quote:
Originally Posted by Bam
Never heard of that. Is it like Tinder?
It probably a nonce's paradise, I bet LeedsRevolution and Hammer loved it.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
At least now we know he was serious about wanting to bum bruhnaldo.
Wtf :roflol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
That has to be one of the best finds we've ever had. :lol:
For fuck sake :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
I always figured Wedge or R-One made it. Who was it?
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Brilliant.
Pretty much. That shit worked out well for me back in the day. That day being 2002-2006. How is that still a thing?Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Edot: oh fuck I found my own profile on that thing :face: atleast I am under straight, Spikey you giant mincer.
Me, you thick cunt.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Never took you as someone to lie about their height.
nice chuck me ya number spikey
You after some of this?Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Soldier
He wants some loaf-roasting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
This stuff was tehfuge at its best. :hail:
Remember this page when everyone tells you the times before were really funny.
@Lewis can you find Lpoolboy's old profile?
It's a different type of funny now, but it's still funny.
:eyemouth:
I can't find one for 'lpoolboy' or anything like it, but looking for Google references to TTH and Faceparty brings up this random guy nailing IJ. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Bam
"The others on there are easy to deal with, just laugh at them and that makes them go wild"
I mean, he's not wrong.
Just post about your collapsing, emotionally abusive marriage and that makes them go wild.
@igor_balis
on the one hand, shindig isn't wrong that you do seem to get overly invested too quickly when it comes to girls
on the other hand, shindig hasn't had a date since he got ice cream with his mom in 1999 so maybe he's just jelly
Jelly and Iced cream > *
Except a good rimming.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Gutted that faceparty is blocked in work.
That profile's real?
50 cent, fam?
https://www.faceparty.com/artista
Faceparty looks mental.
Do you still fancy 50 Cent, Spikes?
Can't get enough Hippy Hopping.
Course we can't get a straight forward answer from you.
He probably has a massive mickey in fairness.
Like my man fiddy would say, I got 99 problems, but this shit ain't one.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Some of the people writing to her are great.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
This bloke is really shooting for the stars: "hi nice see someone else from Somerset on here I from near Taunton. Where you from? great pictures by the way."
And this guy seems incredibly proud to be a drug dealer.
Fucking hell, Gilesy there giving my dear home of Taunton as bad a name as it deserves. Must be yonks ago though, Tesco doesn't look like that any more. Hurr.
Random hurr at the end makes that post.
:wtf:Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Let her have her moment, Baz.
So I got chatting to this girl on tinder. She's not very fit, and she's one of those girls with the kind of photos that could either make her a bit curvy or fucking massive, but she's quite fun and has suggested me coming round her's tomorrow to "get fucked up", with alcohol and other more x rated substances. I've obviously agreed cus at the very least it should make for a funny enough evening. Certainly unlike any other first dates i've been on.
She lives in her own place right by a pub in Northampton, so we're meeting there then going back to hers. I thought this was ideal.
However I've also been talking to this other girl on Tinder who lives on the outskirts of Northampton. She's a bit cooler and more interesting, and it's more than "ah this might be a laugh". She's definitely not huge either. Finally got to the stage of discussing potentially meeting up. Immediately says "ah there's really nice pub that has a pub quiz on wednesdays". It's, OBVIOUSLY, the same fucking pub that fat drug girl lives next door to. And she says she sometimes just pops in there for a pint after work. Lol. I said ahhh Wednesday isn't ideal, how about monday, and she said "yeah that's fine! it's nice and chilled in THAT PUB on monday, will be good for a drink". Fuck sake.
We've agreed to meet up at 2pm on Monday as we're both off work, and my logic is that either the date will have been a disaster anyway so I'll be back in my enz by the time the other girl finishes work, and if we're having a nice time and have had a few drinks I'll either subtly suggest a different pub or more likely just blurt out SO I WENT ON ANOTHER DATE WITH A GIRL 3 DAYS AGO WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR TO THIS PUB HAHA WON'T IT BE FUNNY IF SHE COMES IN.
What a predicament. :D I hope the follow-up stories are worthy of recounting again and again.
:lol:
I kind of hope you never settle down igor, no way that could be as entertaining as your trials and tribulations on Tinder.
He messaged me that he was in love with some dirty minx like 2 weeks ago.
I so hope that one of them drops in during one of the dates.
Threesome on the cards?
Have you even been for an informal lager with him?
Date #1 is going alright. Absolutely zero chemistry, mutually, but we're chatting bollocks and doing drugs and having fun. It's like when I met @phonics, if phonics was a chubby girl in a beret.
That’s what friendship is all about
Anyone who wears a beret is a wanker.
That doesn't seem quite harsh enough if anything.
Well that was a fairly fun evening but I am in no rush to repeat it. The closest it got to anything even approaching romantic or sexual was her matter of factly stating that I looked better than my tinder photos. I obviously hadn't applied enough deodorant yesterday either cus I fucking STINK.
She gave me a rollie and some corner shop instant noodles this morning though so it wasn't all bad.
Remember that girl who came to the date and she had the bald tyres on her car.
She now has new tyres and a new car to match. Its a Fiat 500 Abrath and it is scorching. Sky blue in colour. The car is really nice, but I can't say the same about her. She is too push-up and im not going back down that route. First impressions mean everything and I firmly believe in judging a book by its cover.
Pepe will take her.
Me and the missus viewed a couple of houses on Saturday, think we've settled on one and putting down the deposit within the week.
Man's growing up.
Sky blue is my favorite color too. :drool:
That sky blue the standard 500 comes in is the best colour.
Same color, isn't it? In any case, I agree.
Apparently you can get some gold rims too. If I was going to buy a new one, I'd be all over that. Maybe. The gray ones are nice too.
Fiat 500 :sick:
I can't believe it took that long for someone to say that.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
I wish I hadn't voted already.
The rims have a white look to them, but they are a bright silver. Still look good though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Have just driven past a light blue Fiat 500. Straight away thought of this bizarre conversation.
Bizarre :lol:
If you're done with her slip her a TTH business card and tell her to shoot me a pm.
I didnt even start with her. Just two dinner and breakfast dates. She contacted me over the weekend for another meet and she pulled up in the 500. Beisdes the 500, everything else is awful about her.
We move on.
Leave the card on her windshield.
What happened to those TTH Business cards? I seem to remember Lofty vomiting on a rollercoaster being one of them.
I gave all of mine out.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
What happened to Lofty?
Gout.
Death by cumulative STIs
Tragic rollercoaster accident.
Choked on Benny's chorizo.
What a way to go.
Facebook tells me he's married. His wife looks nice, and surprisingly normal.
Someone send a rescue team his way. Somethings up with that.
See what you make of this.
About a year ago, my wife went off the pill. Since then, we haven't been actively "trying" for her to get pregnant, but just decided that if it happens, it happens. And if it didn't happen "naturally" after a certain period of time, we'd start checking dates, fertility windows, etc. A couple of nights ago, I had a bizarre, and slightly unsettling dream that she gave birth to a stillborn baby on the anniversary of my dad's death in mid-November.
Today, she's taken a pregnancy test and she's pregnant, and we calculate the due date to be mid-November.
Now, I had no idea that there was any real chance she was pregnant, but so the dream is either a really odd coincidence or on some subconscious level, perhaps I suspected it. Either way, the news is fairly surprising, and I'm still in shock (I only found out about 2 hours ago, about 5 minutes before left to get on a train).
Oh, I haven't told her about the dream.
You don't believe that bullshit though, do you?
Either way, congratulations.
I certainly don't think there's anything mystical or supernatural about the dream, no.
Congratulations! You're never going to sleep again. Eat a hot meal again. Or do anything in less than 7 times the time it took before. But, you will increase your night time TTHing 10 fold.
Nice one.
Congratulations.
Congrats SVN!
Well in lad!
He might be a contender for next year's tournament then.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Congratulations SvN.
It's carried me and Baz this far.
I thought your disabilities were carrying the both of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Happy days . Best wishes to you and your family. Dont mention the dream to her or anyone else. It will not help in anyway.
Congrats SVN 👍
Spikey put it quite right up there, but even with all that it’s pretty great.
Congratulations SvN and commiserations at the same time as you're a witch.
Good job. We need more parenting stories to balance out Magic's divorce going to court.
Not that I have any experiaince, but it sounds like hard fucking work being a parent. Giving up 99% of your free time to some life sucking baby and wife. Sounds great :cab:
You'll have to get a cot in the office.
The wife doesn't always stay around...Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
I wouldn't worry about divulging the dream, just don't tell her you've already announced it to the internet.
Congratulations etc
Years ago I would’ve said I was far too selfish to have a child (and I was likely right). So you’re either experiencing that (and eventually you’ll meet someone you want to have a child with and see the benefits of giving up that free time) or, you won’t. Which is probably better for the world (due to overpopulation, rather than removing your genes from the pool).Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Congrats though SvN, it’s daunting but I found myself really excited to meet my daughter when she was born, and I bloody love having two of them now (well, ones only 3 weeks old so is fairly easy to deal with). 2 year old can be hard work but everything she does is obviously the best thing ever that no child has ever done before, and she makes me laugh a lot. People tend to focus on the negative too much.
'It's different when they're yours' is basically the way it goes. It also means not many people are going to care about what yours are doing.
I hate every single child in the world, except my one.
Even her mates (the children my mates’ wives have had) are pricks.
No offence, like, but yes I hate all your children.
I was too selfish then and I still am now. I could have done the whole marriage and baby scenario but im too much of a coward. Ive been part of two abortions in my life. I just can't get do it. My life is all about me, I don't want to give up my freedoms.Quote:
Originally Posted by mo
Congrats SVN, and it's great to know that the future of TTH's internet security and db patch maintenance is going to be carried on through your hereditary line
Thanks all.
It's still not feeling that real, but I do have an overwhelming sense of dread that something is going to go wrong.
I feel bad for following SvN's news (congrats!) with my usual rubbish, but here we are.
I think tinder has broken me a bit, I've been on roughly 10 first dates in the last few years from the stupid app, some i've not wanted to see again, some they've not wanted to see me again (a couple mutually), and the handful that have had second dates have basically gone nowhere.
About a week ago I arranged to meet a girl off there, and it's tomorrow. She's far fitter than the standard of girl I'd usually get anywhere near, and when I cautiously asked if we were still doing anything tomorrow she was like YEAH SURE WHY NOT!
Probably not a good sign that my immediate response was a kind of minor dread, like the sense that I have to go cus I'd regret it if I didn't, yet with zero confidence it'll go any further than a decent chat and maybe a peck on the cheek if I'm lucky.
I know this is as much an Igor issue as a tinder issue, and that my pessimism and low self-esteem is a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy in this kind of situation but...bleh. I suppose she might bail last minute anyway, lolz.
Shut up, you handsome and funny man. Go charm the pants off her.
Tinder would without a doubt break me.
Igor is handsome? I was definitely born too early.
Get your dick wet.
Ahem.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Oh ans SvN - don't ever tell your lady about that dream. Ever.
I have three tinder dates in as many days, starting tonight.
20 yo from Rugby tonight. Not sure if we have much in common, but it's nice not having to get the train. Bonus points for her coming into my place of work and seeing me in reality and still wanting to meet. Also she's at uni but back for a week or two so I think there's a chance she'll be up for a shag. I'm not sure there would be much point in her coming if she had something more serious in mind.
How did last week's go?
Last week's was rainchecked and is now date #2 this week. Tbh the fact that I cancelled fairly last minute and she was still keen has given me extra confidence. Have I accidentally negged her? I'll be red-pilling everyone on TTH in 6 months.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Any waffles?
Good god, she was stunning. So far out of my league it was unreal. Her tinder profile was quite...new agey? Her bio mentioned stargazing and hiking and all her instagram photos were of her in Thailand and Japan and shit, so (and I'm a bit embarrassed for it now) I was quite taken aback when she greeted me in properly thick black country accent. Worried she might be a bit of a trustafarian nob.
She was really interesting. It's really hard to explain this without sounding like a properly patronising cunt, and it's probably just indicative of my own prejudices, but she had the kind of QUIRKY AND WELL RANDOM interests and hobbies (that @Lewis thinks I have) I'd find properly cringe-worthy and embarrassing in a middle class guardianista wanker like me, but because she's not like that it felt more genuine and unpretentious. She delayed conversation for about 5 minutes to find the photo of the mouse she'd taxidermied on her phone.
We had decent chat but I didn't sense much chemistry. It's a shit mindset to get into but I don't think I ever really relaxed properly cus I was too in awe at how fit she was. Still, I'll chance my arm at suggesting a 2nd date tomorrow cus why the fuck not.
You going red in the face during that five minutes racking your brain for the most RANDOM name to suggest for it, only to blurt out 'Ratman-fu...' and faint.
If her stuffing a rat to keep as a house ornament wasn't a red flag for you then fuck it g'wan then lad
nah but it was the perfect opportunity to do my twenty minute observational comedy bit about how you never see mousemats anymoreQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
if we wanna get properly cynical and pop psychology about it, it probably would have been a red flag had she not looked like the kind of girl who would have bullied me when i was 14Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
It's average, I promise.
If it doesn't work out, at least post her insta.
Is taxidermy mice a 'thing' now? There's a place here in Brighton that does it, as in, heavily advertises it and has stuffed mice on every table. I can't tell if its a restaurant/cafe as well or not.
I feel like it's probably a bit of a thing, but only in places like Brighton. I've definitely noticed a lot of semi-ironic appropriation of the esoteric interests of freaks by hip cityfolk, and Brighton must be the epicentre of that kind of thing. With the caveat that I love the place, obviously. You live there full time?Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
Stuffing mice and making little tableaus with them was what qualified Steve Carrell's character for the idiot table in Dinner for Schmucks.
The one tonight was a nice return the kind of girls i usually end up with. Shy, slim, short, bit posh, arty. She suggested we go to a pub quiz and picked a simpsons related team name. We did pretty well for a team of 2 (got about half the answers right) and we both contributed roughly half of them.
What was the team name?
Moe Quizlak.
Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such quizzes as <list of quizzes he can't fit on the page>
I remember seeing Dr. Nick Triviera used before but it doesn't really work.
Had an early private scan today and found out the wife isn't 8 weeks along - she's actually 15 weeks. :harold:
It means we've got to fork out privately for the downs test, which is annoying.
Surely you knew before you married her?
You oink-oinked at her, didn't you?
Ye, full time. You do get a lot of it in Brighton as there are many people (often students or 'students') that want to be weird, but then there are the genuine nutjobs that make this a great place to be. The acceptance of the latter means you get the former, but I don't actually notice too many 'ZANY' people about.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I have another date tomorrow. Im not optmasitc about this one. My married friend played cupid and match us together :cab:
What are you up to Saturday April 20th?Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
It must be very tiring, trying to be weird. I put a walnut in my vagina and hold my breath for an hour! Just watch TV and molest the snooze button on your alarm like the rest of us.
Well obviously I said we needed a name that's witty at first, but that seems less funny each time you hear it, and she lolled and said she had been thinking of Be Sharps too, but we ended up picking something else that I can't remember. It wasn't simpsons related.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Of course you remember. Lies make the baby Jesus cry.
:D rumbled
fine, I remember, but I'm not telling you all because it was LAME
It must have been really shit if you're pulling the old 'can't remember'.
Especially considering the stuff I'VE been willing to divulge with you freaks.
You're such an attention-seeker.
Fine, a question in round 1 was about star signs so the girl asked me mine. I told her I was Sagittarius, and she want "aha, I'm Capricorn, winter babies!"
I have no idea what was going on in my head, but I was nervous and 3 pints down and just said "ah, winter babies, that can be our name!", and unilaterally wrote it on the sheet. She didn't object but didn't seem delighted, and I don't blame her.
So you lied? Cunt.
I told Igor he was embarassing himself in this thread and I come back in here to see he's followed it up with that.
I was about to coat Boydy off for having a go but you've let yourself down here.
Me? I goaded him into posting that. I knew exactly what I was doing.
Igor's utter shite here has reminded me that it's time I told you an actual story about my shite. This isn't actually about relationships as such, but it seems the thread for it. Don't worry, rating PG.
So about a year ago, this (lesbian/bisexual) girl at work basically outed me in the middle of the office. I'd been there about three weeks, barely had a meaningful conversation with anyone there and certainly not with her. I guess it's possible I'd said I was single if someone asked, but nothing had been discussed beyond that and I'm not exactly the only single 30 year old man in the world. Anyway, completely out of the blue when she's in one of those 'silly' moods that women get into, she says in a provocative manner 'We're not exactly each other's type, are we?'
Cautiously I say I guess not, and then she asks me if I'm 'in or out'. With this she has effortlessly fucked my brain into little shreds, and I'm standing there at the printer or whatever knowing that everyone in the office is probably listening to this, eager for blood. So I try and stonewall it, because, you know, it's fucking terrifying. TERRIFYING. I just say 'hard to say' or some shit. Eventually she goes away and I go home and I think how the hell does she know? I'm probably the most reserved person in the world, and yet without even talking to me properly this girl knows straight off. Nobody else in 30 years has ever guessed (or at least I haven't heard that they have). In fact, this event was the trigger for me starting to actually address it, but anyway. She had another dip at it a few weeks later, but again I stonewalled and she didn't try again, so I thought she'd got the message that it's private and I don't want to talk about it, especially not in an office full of people.
Anyway, fast forward a year to now and I've started to address it and told one or two very carefully selected people in the way I've wanted to (and TTH on a whim, curse me), and also done some counselling sessions on it which helped big time, but the girl's not mentioned it again, so at work I'm just a man who does work, which is my intention. Friday afternoon comes around again, the workload drops and the silly moods kick in again. This customer rings up who me and my (male) colleague think sounds a bit dopey. He talks like a high pitched nodding dog. My male colleague - who wasn't there at the time of the initial outing attempt - says to me 'You think he's...?' and makes this signal with his hand which I take to mean a bender. I say 'Nah, he's just an idiot.' At this point the girl latches straight on and says across the office 'Haha, your gaydar not picking anything up?'
Again I change the subject and try to demonstrate that this is not legitimate territory. Shortly afterwards the 60 year old woman who is the girl's boss calls 'Are you single?' across the office and I think ffs, here we go. 'Yes,' I say. She drops it, thankfully, but the next thing I know someone else is telling me (in abstract terms) that Tinder is great, as if they've never met me.
What have I done to deserve this? Am I not allowed to be withdrawn on my terms?
I'd thought you were for at least a couple of years based off your posting. These things are probably more obvious than you imagine.
She sounds like a cunt though and it sounds like you'd have a decent case for sexual harassment.
It's your voice. Do you still dress like somebody who owns his own computer shop?
1) Gay people just have a sense, gaydar is real. The amount of times I've been out with friends and the women get a little flirty after a couple of drinks and go on the prowl, our gay friend calls it every time they try to go for the attractive man at the bar and he's never wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
2) I think this is just someone very comfortable with her own sexuality and knowing the struggles, trying to be nice to you and when you responded in the way you did she let it be.
3) Was she definitely talking about you or to the other guy? I think that's just an innocent joke that you've taken personally due to your discomfort with everything so you're picking up things as microaggressions and thinking about them a lot. As you become more able to be with who you are rather than trying to distance yourself from everybody so they'll consider you what you think they think of as 'normal'. It'll get easier. Trust me.
4) Go out for a drink with her and talk about it with someone who knows. You can set down your red lines about keeping anything discussed out of office etc. It might be excruciating but it'll be really helpful imo.
Points taken phonics (thanks), but re 3 it was definitely pointedly at me as the other guy prefaced it by telling her 'Jimmy say the phone guy isn't gay'. And I actually found what she said funny, but the discomfort overrides that.
And 4 is in my longer term plans, yes.
I was kind of trying to drop it in here for a little while, if you know what I mean. Half-heartedly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Prior to the above I've been asked the question twice in my life. Both were in office kitchens by people I didn't know well, and both were a follow up question to 'Do you have a girlfriend?'. The first time I was 20 and barely even knew if I was, so I just said no. The second time, many years later, one of the Koreans dropped it and I pretty much knew by that stage (even if I wished it wasn't so), so I kind of gulped and said no.
Other than that, literally no one has ever mentioned it to me, including family and close friends, so I figured it just wasn't evident at all.
If it makes you feel better I actually thought you had a problem with someone upstairs before someone was more blunt.
My gaydar is faultless. Shame it's completely useless to me.
Feel free to tell me to fuck off but why is that?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
It just makes life a lot more complicated. That probably reads a bit wrong, I'm not slitting my wrists over it.
It did read a little that way :lol:
I cant even begin to imagine the complications it can create. Thankfully the world is moving on from its stone age views so the day you do tell should be better than its ever been.
There's a couple of openly gay guys in our office (and a definitely closeted one). I've never been around to see any of them come out, though. I know one of them got outed by a loudmouth cunt and then just had to roll with it. On the flipside, one of the lesbians I know owns it completely. I guess it helps if you're fit.
Serious question, do you get offended by people using ‘gay’ so flippantly? Like the use of this gif, for example.
Toggle Spoiler
A few of us noticed that a mate of ours (8/9 years ago now) suddenly had all these Facebook friends we didn’t know and they were all a bit ‘fabulous’. We speculated behind his back, not wanting to seem confrontational towards him (asking someone if they’re gay just seems a tad impolite). Eventually he came out on my stag do. I still feel weirdly proud that it was then. He later said he’d been waiting for someone to just ask him. Funny that.
Then he moved to London so that he could be part of an actual gay scene and has never really looked back.
I've got a mate down on either the Friday or Saturday, so any potential #meet rests on that. What you planning?Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Someone tore me a new one for using that in a WhatsApp group the other day. That said, I wasn't really thinking and wouldn't have if I had.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Edit - though the same lad left because someone said Man Utd were worse than Hitler, so...
It's still thrown around all the time in Jersey, which does make me a bit uncomfortable now. You still get some blatant racism too which is very awkward to deal with.
The last thing I sent in WhatsApp was a video of man having an electric drill down his japseye so what do I know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
That'll get Magic back to the board.
No, but I can sympathise with those who do.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
It does definitely make you feel a bit uncomfortable though when it happens in a real life social situation. But 'offended' isn't the term I'd use.
Not personally but it's not something that would pass without comment these days if I hear someone using it. I made a conscious effort post-school to stop using it but it's one of those words that (at least for me) was sort of separated from its original meaning by that stage, if a friend who I knew well were to use it I'd think it was out of habit before I thought they were being homophobic. Obviously that becomes more problematic if they're talking to someone they don't know so it's just fallen out of usage as we've all grown up, plus our circle of friends contains people who are gay themselves or have family members who are so it isn't the done thing these days.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Probably not at all your kinda thing, but I've got 5 tickets to Spellbound at Komedia, and only two are claimed so far including my own. Are you familiar with the night? As no cunt seems to be interested you and your mate can probably have two even if you only stick around for an hour or so.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
If not, at least come for a pint with us, yeah.
I sort of understand the way gay was an acceptable mild insult du jour in the mid 00s, but I think (and it's getting there already) in about twenty years people will look back and think what the fuck was that all about.
Actually, speaking of gayness, I've somehow managed to get embroiled in a weird 4 way love drama at work.
There's a big chain restaurant who come to our place for banking, and it's mostly either the super camp Polish manager or the late-20s slightly rough n ready Polish girl. Me and one of my colleagues have had some pretty tip top banter with them over the last few months, which culminated in the two of us taking the work night out there and us getting massively reduced cocktails.
Things started going a bit wrong when I made the error of adding camp manager on facebook. It was done innocently for the purpose of continuing inter-company bants, and once he accepted I found the girl and added her as well. I got a slightly dodgy feeling when within about 10 minutes the girl had found my colleague and added him as well. My colleague quite stupidly spent the whole night exchanging incredibly flirtatious sexual messages, before deciding the next morning that he wasn't into it. He's a 22 year old LAD, and she's a 28 year old single mum, and has even said shit like "i've had bad luck with guys before". Eek. In the meantime the guy has twice liked photos on my facebook profile from about 6 months ago at like 1am on a saturday night.
They both came in yesterday, the poor girl had made such an effort, clearly spent ages on her hair and makeup and shit. Both were blushing and giggling and talking in Polish while they were there. Things are gonna get super awkward when she realises my colleague doesn't want to shag her and when he realises I'm the most boringly vanilla straight man ever. Shame really, cus he's pretty handsome.
Let him have a rattle you prick tease.
I didn't read it all but I bet it could have been twenty, less zany, words.
tldr version: camp manager of restaurant that banks with us thinks i want to shag him, and his single mother colleague thinks my colleague wants to shag her. neither are true, and i'm expecting some awkward fallout at some point.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Just don't go out with them again and be an adult.
they're customers and generally at least one of them comes in to our place every day but they'll probably twig it eventuallyQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Igor we still goin to Glasgow August?
You're not gonna get me in an 80s night, but maybe the latter.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I had a reflection recently when I heard someone say it but I don't think I've said 'retarded' in years and years. I never made a concious effort to stop doing it but somethings worked I guess?Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco
it's pretty cringy when it's used by overcompensating "manly" ""men"" tbh, makes me sad that they're trying to hide their sexuality like thatQuote:
Originally Posted by Baz
don't see an issue with gay or fag etc if it's used between friends when joking around imo
I’m gem.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
Jimmy mate, you’ve been fawning over various African athletes for years on here. I think we all knew.
Mate, there's now 2 ISIS girls I'm fawning over, it doesn't mean I want to kill you all.
I mean, I do, but not for religious reasons.
Started dating a girl a couple of months ago who on paper is exactly what I'm looking for.
Athletic, clever and not a proper girly girl. Super hot too.
Christ she's hard work though. Quiet as fuck and seems to just jump to conclusions/judge me.
Currently trying to decide whether it's worth it or not, but the big downside being if I can't find a way to make it work with her I probably shouldn't even bother trying dating.
Are all women hard work? I've been single and independent for about ten years, maybe I'm just too used to my own space and time?
Went to my mates girlfriend's house party in London last night, mostly because mate and his gf had been trying to set me up with m8s gfs mate. I assumed five minutes of awkward chat but I actually managed to go back to hers and shag her. Laaaaads. Currently drinking whisky at mates house and discovering that female friends are just as graphic in their post match discussions as blokes, lol.
Pleased that my eating of her ass and putting my finger up her bum was well received. 'guys can be really boring so it was fun to sleep with a guy that gross'
Turns out she didn't tell my mates gf that she put my finger in her mouth afterwards tho. Hehe
Yes they are. Find the right one and the hassle is well worth it. From my limited experience anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Surely that's the kind of thing you know is well received or not straight away.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
They're all hard work until the right one. That's why they're the right one.
The good ones are always hard work, and judgmental. A man is as degenerate or industrious as the women in their lives push them to be. Tough women who hold their men to higher standards are the best partners, and will push you to unlock your full potential as a person.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Fuck off David Attenborough.
Oh my God.
I'm going to read all of his posts in Attenboroughs voice from now on.
Second half of that diatribe was on point tbf
If you like patronising, 'women are here to serve us' attitudes, sure.
I have done those kind of things to girls before and been told the next day they went along with it because they didn't want to seem frigid for not wanting my tongue in their colon but it's their loss quite frankly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Have you ever licked a piece of shit?
Nobody wants to lick you, you flirt.
Never put a tongue in before a finger , only once touched pooQuote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
Outstanding.
@mugbull it's Edinburgh lads. August 17th - 24th. Game?Quote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
Well you have to ask.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
I've only sporadically read your posts in here, Igor, but you must be getting to the point now where you're tired of casual shagging?
Also, weirdly, the first thing I thought when reading your latest escapade was that DS woulkd be proud of you.
I'm not actually that successful with women, I just share it with you lot when I am. It's less that I'm tired of casual sex, more that I'm tired of very intermittent casual sex and wanking.Quote:
Originally Posted by 7om
Wait...you ate a one night stand's butt? Yeck.
When even Magic thinks that you are a bad one you know things are serious.
Marry her igor. Thank me later.
Filth needs to be tied down.
You fucking animal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
We're going to have an AIDS graveyard with Hammer and Igor buried side-by-side.
I'm still undecided if these things actually happen to Igor.
It wasn't some random sket I met in a nightclub though, she's my best mate's girlfriend's best mate. Their vouching for her implicitly includes vouching for her bumhole afaic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Tbh it's them vouching for her bumhole that should perhaps worry you above everything else here, then.
Fucking savage.
Is sincere randoming it, calling people animals who don't like touching human faeces, or just having an episode?
Im struggling to think how there is any benefit to this time of sex actQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
That's why I was puzzled that you called magic an animal for saying the same thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
I should have quoted the original post from Igor
Or tied up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Soldier
Insanity. I'd need to build up a full understanding of toilet habits, hygiene, diet, any outstanding tract issues etc before I even contemplated that. This gives me a framework that when followed, won't see me take on a tapeworm when the project is complete.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I'd lick anything that doesn't smell too bad.
As a so-called Doctor you should know you can't detect parasites with your nose.
Worth.
Could probably make it for a few days out of that yeQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Great advice. :D
Eating ass should not be done on a casual basis otherwise you'll just get known as a shit sniffer.
Speaking from experience, shit sniffer?
It looks like party girl might actually have some potential. She text me to say she had fun and told me to message her whenever I'm next down in London. I told her I'll be down in 2 or 3 weekends time anyway to see friends (true, but plans obviously only contrived to facilitate seeing her), and she's just said that she's always around and just to message her.
I'm not very spontaneous and I'm quite autistic about getting everything meticulously planned (which people are generally surprised about, as an aside), so I'm somewhat paranoid I'll get the train to euston, tell her I'm around and be told she's fucked off to Oxford for the weekend or whatever it is posh girls do. Aside from that I'm obviously very pleased with the outcome - she's seemingly very keen to shag again, without any clingy pseudo-relationshippy baggage.
I'm also using a lot of willpower to not fall into the cycle of mindless small talk asking her about her day etc, as I think that will actually be counterproductive this time.
Ask for a picture of her oil seal and post results.
Find out if her tyres are bald.
I can rely on my memory, there was no evidence of leakage, though it sounds like I was quite lucky with my timing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
In the morning she was a bit off, and when I asked if I could have a shower she politely suggested I do so at my mate's house. She had to get the train at like 1pm so I just assumed she wanted me to fuck off so she had time to chill alone before that, but my mate's girlfriend told me with some glee that she'd told her it was because she'd had a massive stinky dump in there and didn't want me going in there after that. Bless.
Ya matey, don't do this. It's counterproductive most times.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Good luck with the oil seal next time.
The only decent part about being an admin is seeing the posts people decide to delete :DQuote:
IMO if you have misgivings about the state of hygienic upkeep of the girls you’re hooking up with, better to stay home, lift some weights, hit your daily macros and try again in a few months.
I can't imagine anyone but mert saying "hit your daily macros", but I'd have thought he'd pride himself on not being enough of a 'beta little cuck' to delete his posts so I'm stumped.
Impossible to know who might have posted that.
Sorry lads.
I thought Mahow.
Unluckly @Boydy, I saw your post before the ninja delete
Fair advice though, mate.
Brown white privilege was my first thought too.
Christ you just know in between you going down to London again she'll be getting her piles chewed by some other bearded ginger twat who falls for her vile dirty bumhole.
"piles chewed" :D
:D:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I know I can always rely on you for the best advice, MJ.
In my defense, in the taxi she said "you don't do this kind of thing a lot, do you?", and even asked "you don't just see me as a London conquest, do you?" as we walked up the stairs to her flat. She was hesitant about actually shagging me, and said "we barely know each other, I don't even know if you remember my name" (WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY), which all suggests her asshole is at least a fairly selective establishment, though when I told m8's gf all this she rolled her eyes and said "oh fuck off [girl's name], she used to shag loads of people at uni".
Igor, she quoted the whole 'I don't usually do this sort of thing' chapter out of the Sluts Handbook to you.
Mulva?
She let a stranger finger her shitpipe, so she's clearly seen more prickends than weekends. Though it still wouldn't stop me getting a train.
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
The foreplay had been great, really organically leading up to what I assumed would be inevitable sex (I find it can be very awkward and shit on one night stands, especially when you're both really drunk), then she got a bit angsty and said the thing about me not remembering her name. I knew her fucking name, and had known it all evening, but the stress of being asked it whilst she was sat on me all naked fucked with my head and I did not have a fucking clue. if I'd actually tried to guess it, it would have been like Mrs Doyle and Todd Unctious.
Spent about 5 minutes with her saying "just say my fucking name", sounding close to tears, as I blagged "well I know your fucking name, obviously, but I'm not going to say it, that's bollocks. this is stupid", etc. Horrible, and I am surprised she didn't just kick me out. When she eventually just went "my name is fucking [___]", and I said WELL I KNEW THAT, she said oh fuck it I still want to fuck you, but by this point I was somewhat deflated by the stress of what had just happened, and it took a while to get back into the swing of it.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
It absolutely wouldn't stop me either, but I think (based on her behaviour but also what was said by her and my mate's gf the next day) she shagged LOADS of lads at uni, but doesn't really do it as much these days. But nah, I don't particularly care either way.
I reckon if you dig deep you will find she has some kind of trauma in her past...
*arse
I would love it if she goes for a hot curry the night before you go there next.
Someone I work with has been with her boyfriend for 5 years and the one time he put his finger up there it got absolutely covered in shit, lol.
At least he didn't go in tongue first.
Is rimming that weird? Does anyone else do it?
I'd post a poll but i don't know how to.
Well, that's the last place you'd expect to find it.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I think we only need to dig a week or so back.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
You ever licked arsehole, Mahow?
You offering yours?
Have none of you had long-term girlfriends? Do all of y'all hook up with hygienically challenged heifers? Or am I the degenerate in being unfazed by all of this discussion and surprised by everyone's seeming lack of experience?Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Its just a spastic trend that Americans all convince each other they're doing, yeah?
Well they have to do it to each other to get into Frats.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
...maybe? Doing "butt stuff" was and continues to be very in vogue...we have a much larger African-American and Latino population, maybe it's stemming from those cultural influences?Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
See articles like this, from when I was in undergrad:
https://totalfratmove.com/how-to-act...s-perspective/
https://totalfratmove.com/why-the-bu...-needs-to-end/
"Anyone with a pulse knows that this year, more than any other, was a watershed year for eating booty."
It reads like a desperate attempt to sell me a used car.
totalfratmove dot com :D
This is the mert we know and love.
It's probably a by-product of the porn we consume. Even so, I always had rimming down as a specifically gay practice. There's going to be a lad on the board within 5 years telling us the virtues of choking someone out.
I don't necessarily have a problem with it, but doing it to a one night stand is wrong'un territory.
This is post choking surely? I remember the local broken sheilas dribbling nonsense about that 10 years ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
As in all cases it depends on the lass in question.
Have zero interest in doing it or having it done.
Really a new spin on the "All Shit" part of the thread title
First lass I did anal with shat all over me cock. I went and rinsed it with cold water in the sink then she had a good suck. Disgusting woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Calling all married men. Did you ever dream of your wedding day when you were younger?
Nope. Not at all.
Why? Women seem to do it all the time.
Because he's a man.
Brides like the occasion, grooms dread it.
Weddings are as good as it gets for women. If you go to enough weddings you'll quickly work out that all the women there (not just the bride and close relations) are like pigs in shit, and all the men have basically been dragged there by the women.
Aye, when my sis had hers, you'd get plenty women chipping in with 'how to do it'. I guess after that, the only other thing women bask in is childbirth.
Married by force then. Say no more.
Weddings are great. I've definitely daydreamed about how I'd like mine done.
Going to weddings is a laugh as long as you know 3 or more seperate people.
Collecting the ring tomorrow.
I didn't "dream" of my wedding, but I look forward to it. From previous discussions we are pretty on the same page about what we'd want. Mostly I don't want anyone stuck there for 11,000 hours cooing over us, eating extremely average food and pretending it's the best thing ever when really they wanted to go home a quarter of a day ago and watch Love Island.
Who from TTH is attending?
Only John.
I ask becuase one of my friends who is recently married, is misreable as can be. I told him, its becuase it was never part of your dream. It was her dream and you deceded to jump into it with her.
I have no doubt I want to marry her.
Good.
Good chat.
But do you dream of it?
He only dreams of knives and a cure for migraines.
In a way knives are a cure for migraines.
It's not a cure, it's a placebo.
I'm going to a wedding in a few hours. Hanging like a bat and I can't find my tie either.
Missus is in the middle of chemo and her mind has melted. Im at my place for a week because interpretations that didnt go my way.
Jesus lad sending strength.
Frig. Hope you guys both get through it.
That must be about as difficult as it gets. Stay strong.
It was all going swell untill she was prescribed 25 radiation sessions which is 5 more than the norm.
For some reason this has tipped her to glass half empty and im on the ropes absorbing the emotional adjustment. We will be fine in the long term but this week has been the hardest of my life. Im as easy going as it gets but nothing i do escapes this new perspective. :(
Im sorry to bring it here but there is no where else to turn to on a saturday night.
Don’t apologise! If anything this is the best place to vent. You can count on the kindness of strangers here. And that someone will call you a paedo or something.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
Stay strong.
I'm just surprised that an Australian has emotions.
Someone could commit suicide infront of me and I would feel nothing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Don’t tempt him.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
Is this really the time for grooming?Quote:
Originally Posted by mo
All the best Queensland. Can't imagine anything worse.
Re wedding day. No dreams before and then was surprised how fantastic it was on the day. Thankfully been to more good ones then bad ones so far.
Hope everything works out Queensland. Stay strong.
Fucking hell Queeny. I've been there with my mum, rather than a partner, but it is the shitest of shit situations.
The only advice I have, is as much as you are being as good to your partner as you can be, taking her struggling on your shoulders, be kind to yourself too. People often overlook that a sufferers loved ones are just as invested in the 'fight' and are, if not physically, just as affected by the products of it.
If anything, it may be harder watching someone go through it, than actually going through it.
I'm getting married in 3 weeks, most definitely hadnt dreamt of the day. It'Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
After seeing the oncologist there is a fair chance that my missus has started menopause which would explain the rough way she has been communicating as of late.
Lucky Im already seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist for my own troubles so making time to talk about this will be fine.
Apologies to all this is the least exciting entry this thread has ever had.
I’d rather read about proper stuff than m- er, Bartholomew, calling us all cucks.
Why are you called hotfingers by the way? :D
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Because I throw excellent throws consistently and it is a great double entendre for a social game. One of my local pubs is a great community day hang and my missus hates it when a random person asks for my name to befriend.
Edit: I had a chance to be mildly funnier there...
Sounds like a great start.Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy
You dont have to apologies for anything.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queenslander
Don't be so quick to say that Sincere. You have no idea what kind of tyres his lady has.
He has already made it clear, she is his wife. So going by that, she has a set of Pirelli P Zero's
Is that a massive insult or a massive compliment in Sincerese?
Got engaged this morning; don't worry @SincereTheRebel her tyres are in excellent nick and she's even got a proper spare, not a shitty space saver or that gunk stuff.
This morning? Did you lob it in with her corn flakes?
:D
Balanced it atop thy morning wood.Quote:
Originally Posted by dino
How'd you do it for real though?
Just did it. We're going away in a week and I knew everyone was expecting it then given we've been together 100 years, so fuck'em. Has to be a surprise.
Two thumbs up from me lad.Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
Edit: Seriously, you may think its a running joke with the tyres saga I had. It's a good barometer to judge people. That girl turned out to be a trainwreck. I knew from the state from our initial meet, she would be a problem. Turned out she had a child by the way which she kept quiet. She was driving around putting his life at risk and all that. Dodged a bullet with that one.
Stop doubling down on it! :D
What was dino even doing there?Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
Congrats.
Yeah. This.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
Sure you're delighted.
Love how you guys are clamouring to be the next me.
You'll never beat the original.
Well, Helping out, I guess.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
Cheers lads xx
Does she have plenty tit to spare?
Aye and the face of Brian McDermott.
Congrats RL.
All dicking about aside, I'm really happy and excited. She's a proper little hero and I love her to bits.
Oh and mert can gargle my nards. :swing:
I just noticed that the dick swing smilie isn't a smilie helicoptering his own dick, but riding the dick of another smilie which causes his dick to helicopter.
Oh, congratulations.
Well would you look at that, he's right. Jimmy covertly having his own smiley all these years the little tyke.Quote:
Originally Posted by Panda Bear
It's meatspin, innit?
You're right.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
It's what?
Old, vintage internet ... erm ... video.
Google it.
Wow, I never noticed this until now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Panda Bear
I'm as likely to do that as click on a Baz link.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sites/meatspinQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Still struggling with this. She's like talking to a brick wall sometimes. Doesn't ever seem happy. Saw her on Friday and she was just miserable company, admitting so when I left. Asked her if she would be better company yesterday (she's ill at the moment and seeemd annoyed at me not wanting to kiss her and risk getting ill) when she offered to come round and decided to be honest and tell her I was getting annoyed by her negative comments. She flipped it back at me angrily and haven't spoken to her since.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
#ontheropes
I feel like not wanting to kiss someone who's clearly got a cough/throat issue isn't a bad thing? Am I wrong?
She sounds delight Foe. Propose. Do it for the board
Abort @Foe, moody grumpy girls like that are never worth the effort. From experience, if they're like that this early on, they'll just get worse as it progresses. I've also noticed the fairly innocuous but annoying grumpiness often develops into manipulative gaslighty behaviour.
What's 'gaslighty', or did you (or your phone) make a bollocks of 'ghastly'?Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GaslightingQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I'll admit it wasn't exactly the most pure use of the English language, but I meant more liable to gaslight, e.g.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Quote:
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's belief
I'm still none the wiser a paragraph into that but I know he meant it now so that's enough.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Yeah what Boydy said
To use an example from my own personal life, my first ever "proper" girlfriend was a massive...errr, gaslighter. She'd constantly recall things in a way that slightly adjusted the events to make her look better and make me look worse. Highlight was my flatmate and best friend spending the majority of our relationship trying to crack onto her in the most transparent way (he took her for a £60 meal and paid for it while i was HAVING INVASIVE EYE SURGERY), but when I confronted her on it she managed to twist it around into me being in the wrong for never doing nice things for her so she HAD to let him do stuff like that to get the treatment she deserved.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
By the end of our relationship I'd genuinely gone a bit insane, and at times I thought I was in the wrong for being a shit boyfriend rather than her being an absolute manipulative cunt and my mate being a total rat.
Didn't he end up with her? Gaslighted. Donned is the word you're after chief.
Cracking memory, Lew. They got together a week after I broke up with her, and 8 years later they're currently engaged. They even invited me to the wedding.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Donned in the short term certainly, but it worked out pretty well in the long run. Seems like a comfortable, stable relationship has done nothing to change her behaviour. In the spirit of being the bigger man, when me and some of the old gang went for a night out in Liverpool I suggested we extend the olive branch to the lad and have him come for a few drinks with us (they live up there).
After about a pint he miserably said he had to leave because "we agreed it would be better if I didn't drink as much, and I need to go home and snapchat a photo of the house to prove I'm not out".
"fucking hell, she's not changed, what's she up to tonight?"
"...she's on a night out with mates back home"
...mate.
Me and a latter girlfriend met the two of them a couple of years later, and old girlfriend was so transparently pissed off that I'd lost weight, gained confidence and had managed to get with a girl twice as attractive as her that she wasn't even able to keep to the subtle manipulation and was just outright hostile to the extent old friend was like "what the fuck is wrong with you?", when he's usually incredibly meek and pathetic.
They're getting married and you're licking strangers fart boxes. That's no short term donning.
Igor is clearly winning
The other lad has the love of his life looking out for him, and Igor is still seething so much that he's making up reunions where he got the last laugh. Right okay.
Being stuck in a loveless relationship where you're basically whipped to bits while your "partner" is out fucking off on the town without you <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< a bit of string-less strange on a saturdayQuote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I reckon I must have read that definition a dozen times over the years whenever that or other modern offences are mentioned and I still have no real idea what it means.
Glad I'm not the only one who can't quite understand the concept of gaslighting even after reading the definition several times.
Get her to fuck. This instant. Life is too short for shit that. Bin bin bin.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
My understanding of gaslighting is that it's essentially one member of a relationship being a manipulative cunt, with the end goal of alienating their partner from everyone else in their life.
To clarify, gaslighting is when you're well aware of the reality but skew it in your favour. I was a real master of actually believing my gaslight. Guess that's more delusion though.
:D.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
In fairness, I think it's worked out alright for both of us on balance. He seems genuinely happy with his life, and despite all of her flaws he's probably just about punching. He's so passive and meek that I think he genuinely prefers having some mental case managing his life. When he was single he was borderline insane most of the time.
There was a point about halfway through my relationship with her where'd I'd had enough and told her we needed to go on a break. We arranged to go for a drink about a week later to clear the air and see where things were, but she'd also arranged to see flatmate the same evening afterwards. Neither of us knew she was meeting the other.
When it got to the point of her leaving to meet him she insisted on me coming as well. We had the most awkward, emotionally charged couple of hours, which culminated in girl inviting me back to hers. Flatmate had obviously thought this was finally THE NIGHT where it was gonna happen, and he just totally lost the plot. Insisted that he was going to go clubbing on his own (despite it being about midnight on a Sunday), then once me and girl had gotten back to hers she got a stream of texts implying he was going to harm himself. We got a taxi back to mine/his, and he'd smashed loads of bottles and punched the mirror in his bedroom. He stormed out of the flat at about 3am, insisting he was getting a train home, launching a bottle of beer at a parked car in the process.
After that he had to spend a week back home "sorting himself out". Looking back I think I only stayed with her for the next 3 months out of spite. Clearly both of them were more well matched as a couple, but girl was too much of a pussy to break up with me and CLEARLY loved having the two of us fighting over her. When I finally did break up with her she cried and asked to have one last shag, lol no. They were officially a couple about a week later.
What a weird fucking year of my life that was.
Aye, but being so manipulative you actually make the other person lose grip of reality, and believe the version of the world they're creating.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
So, a cunt then.
OH, and she NEVER let me go anywhere near her bumhole, and her one USP (her GIANT tits) was totally nullified by the fact she was so insecure about them she NEVER took her bra off in front of me. I'm definitely winning.
Are you from rough ends?
Rugby's not rough it's just full of mongs.
When JayZ and Beyonce got engaged, do you reckon he spent two months calling her 'Fiance Knowles'? That's what I'd have done.
Get out.
One of my friends who has been married for a number of years is as soft as porridge. His wife has a friend who was also married but is now divorved. My friend is now in a situion where he is taking his wife's freinds car to get it serviced and all the rest of it :face:
I can spot these type of issues well in advanced.
He'll be riding the friend before the month is out.
He isnt getting paid for his timeat all. They have him under lock and key. I never liked her from day one.
You should slide in?
She'll have new tires :drool:
Tires?
PM @Bam, he'll catch you up on the storyQuote:
Originally Posted by Bam
:saywhat:
i wanna laugh too. share with the class.
Yeah answer his PM Bam innit.
I'm feeling completely hopeless about my brother. I've known he's had drug issues for a long time but he pretends it's alright and I do the same in the hope that he's able to clean him self up, but I've realised he's in deep and doesn't have anywhere near the maturity required to fix it. He's an addict surrounded by addicts and he doesn't know anything else. He's never going to be a functioning member of society.
He lives in England so I've thought of moving down but there are factors that make that difficult for me, and it probably wouldn't help anyway. Fully expecting him to die young.
Is he in Bristol? The risk in moving down is that nothing would change and you'd just end up falling out. Trying to babysit another man in situations like this is stressful as fuck and rarely appreciated. The kind of change required has to come from within. Once people get stuck in the spiral you can give everything but it needs to click in their head otherwise your efforts are pointless. Do you think he actually wants to change? If so, him moving near you could help.
Yeah he's in Bristol.
I think he wants to change but it's just beyond him. He's a full on crusty. Moving is the only thing I can imagine that would help, but we couldn't live together so he's still going to surround himself with the same people.
I just end up lecturing him all the time and it doesn't do any good. If I lived near him I could at least make him do some wholesome stuff.
What's his problem then? Presumably you had similar upbringings. Is he just a knobhead?
Yeah, Glasgow might not be the best place for somebody with a drug addiction. Does he have a diabolo?
Do your family know about his issues? Is there any reason why he can't move closer to somebody else? Or even get him into rehab?
He's a good person, he just has child-like decision making and impulse control.
I was drawn to drugs in the same way he is (my parents aren't wasteheads lol), he just lacks the common sense I had to not let them ruin my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
He goes to festivals every weekend over the summer and actually makes decent money doing glamping stuff (I'm about 95% sure this is the truth and he's not dealing drugs). Obviously that lifestyle is only going to encourage his use.
My parents don't really know. I'm seeing them in a couple of weeks and I'll probably tell them. I dunno how it'll help though and I'm worried that it will ruin his relationship with me.
Glasgow would be fine for him, I'd have him on my sofa for as long as he liked but he isn't interested.
I said I'd give him fifty quid if he could not do drugs for two days but he said he's been organising some weekend long rave so no thanks lol. Yeah he's a bellend.
There have to be some deeper rooted mental health issues so trying to get him to self-refer to a mental health clinic would be a start. A GP will just chuck him on anti-depressants to fob him off, which is unlikely to actually help. If he doesn't want the help, though, then for your own wellbeing if you've done all you can then I'd start to distance myself.
Do we have anyone in the area who can chin him?
What's he addicted to, @dino? Coke or smack I'm assuming, aye?
Some combination of speed/ket/benzos.
Oh shit, your brother is this meme:
https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net...01&oe=5CBB3A34
I'd be more worried about how annoying his mates are gonna be and how shit his taste in music is gonna be with that venn diagram. Shit for you though, obviously. Is he the kind of SUPER FUN GUY on the surface masking the darkness beneath, or is he genuinely just obliviously content with his life? Of the three I'd probably be most worried about the benzos, they're no fucking joke. I stupidly went from occasionally having one of my mate's to help with my comedowns, to having my own stash, to just having them on random Wednesday nights to "help me sleep", but luckily managed to realise what I was doing and knocked it on the head before it got any worse.
Surely if he's serious about kicking it (doesn't sound like it with the response to the £50 offer) then surely burning bridges with him by telling your parents could be good in the long run. If it actually helps him sort it out he'll thank you later when he's had time to realise the help you've given him.
Turning down £50 isn't a big deal. If I had a weekend planned for ages and somebody popped up on Thursday offering me money to stay in there's no chance I'd do it.
Benzos are super addictive, but I'd be most worried about ket. That's some horrible shit that can leave you with life-changing side effects.
Edit: lol I've just remembered that a substance misuse psychiatrist told me if I was going to get addicted to something to make sure it was benzos.
Yeah, I know people in their early twenties who have to wear nappies because they've done too much ket.
He almost certainly needs professional help for the benzos though, he's definitely at the stage where quitting cold turkey would be very dangerous.
His best bet would be to fuck off to some remote place where he can't just get in contact with folks he knows for drugs.
But then it turns into "just having a beer at the bar tonight" which leads to meeting someone who happens to be into it and yuo're back to square one
Lol could have is she gonna bang doe'd a mental 19 year old student nurse but we're staying with her batshit father who basically pulled her out of my room. Seething. When I say out of my room she tiptoed in and got caught bonny. Had lip filler too so like getting head from a cod.
Translation please.
I think he fucked a fish.
Magic is handling the divorce with aplomb.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
She turned the ween against him.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
He nearly fucked a retarded child but got cock blocked.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Hey she said I looked 23, isn't that all that matters.
Not in court.
Save it for your YouTube interrogation.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
went on a night out in Birmingham yday with a 3 old friends, one male two female. might have gotten too drunk and told female friend 1 that i've basically been in love with female friend 2 for years. girl best friends definitely don't talk about that kind of thing though so i'm sure i'll be fine...:uhoh:
Doesn't sound like you at all. Were you on a train?Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
get tested for autismQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Straight to the burns unit for me.
Why? So you two can have something in common?Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I sense jealousy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
have you ever kissed a girl?Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
Yeah. Need some tips? Kiss her on the face, not on the arse.
That is fucking brilliant.
Igor on the ropes.
Shinners slaying harder than Igor's fake stories.
Do any of you lot pay for services on a regualr basis? I ask becase I have paid for services in the past, but im thinking it will porbably be cheaper and less headache if I go down this route again. My sexual drive has slowed down completely now and it is probably best, if i get any sort of desire, I pay instead of leading her to heartbreak.
Edit: By regular, I mean about once a month.
I thought about it but I think the emotional damage and loneliness that would come afterwards would be worse than the current status quo of blueballs.
Your in a different situation though Magic so I understand that. Surely someone on here has made or still makes purchases?
A couple of my friends have in the past. One of them nearly ruined their life because their bride-to-be found out about a month before the wedding. Fortunately for him, he was able to get her to believe that he didn't do anything. I think she knew, but convinced herself.
A lot of folks I used to talk to raved about it. "You're paying them to leave" they liked to say. No strings, bada-bing-bada-boom, voila. You're on with your day.
In fairness, I perused back when backpage was still a thing, but I couldn't personally get myself to make the call. Some fine looking specimens as well, though I never really considered the potential charge worth it.
Doesn't Hennors get them on the regular after being shunned by Scoobs?
It's a slippery slope. Stay well clear.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
Unless you're a certified mechanic, usually I think most people pay for service.
Keep the tyres fresh, like. It's important to stay safe.
Depends how busy they've been.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
This was legitimately indecipherable.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Also just bang a fat girl sheesh, no need to pay for that sort of thing.
I nearly did before, booked one and all, but it's cheaper to have a wank.
The ones i like, already have a rubber ring around their gut. The skinny ones cant do nothing for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartholomert
Would prostitutes have good tyres?
It’s like paying for porn, you’re a real noob if you do that in this day and age
Having had a nice sleep and some fresh air today I can take my donning like a man. You deffo did me there @Shindig. You'll need to maintain that level of #banter though if you're gonna insist on continuing to post sneering replies to 25% of all the posts I make; as soon as the laughter dries up it'll just seem like you have a weird obsession with me.
Won't you need a licence (or something similar) to watch porn in the UK soon?Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
On the plus side it'll bring back the halcyon days of the excitement of finding abandoned grot mags in hedges and stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
That started ok but didn't finish off sounding like someone taking it well at all. #seethingQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I don't mind a well placed zinger like the bum kissing remark, but if getting annoyed by someone repeatedly making weird comments when I post stuff means I'm seething than I'm gonna fucking seethe. As an aside, I don't mind it when you do it because you give out to everyone but Shindig's feels more stalkery.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
A cunt to all :cool:
Given my currenty lifestyle, I think it will workout OK for me. Im diving back into the deepend lads. Fuck this.
My wife asked me to proofread an abstract for her. I had to lol when I read this sentence:
In the last decade of the 16th century, a vicious civil war, led by the Duke of Mercoeur, rattled the former duchy of Brittany.
Adhering to the TTH style guide. :cool:
Bit wordy for an abstract love.
Based on the standards of academia, not nearly wordy enough.
lol dude ffsQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
The mental gymnastics that had to be done to "show everyone I'm not seething but also double down on my point" I mean you must be fucking exhausted.
So does no one else think Shindig's the weirdo here too?
Of course he is, but a stalky weirdo donning is still a donning.
It’s a bit like cheering for the Yorkshire Ripper.
Donnings don't get much better than a police trolling Serial Killer, in fairness.
I would say Wearside Jack is more ShinnersQuote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Purple Aki.
To be fair, I reckon about 80% of the best stuff generated by this forum is directly the result of weirdness/general personality disorders, so if we started getting fussy about that there'd be asterisks next to most of the good posts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
#TeamIgorQuote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Get the WhatsApp group set up.
No but I am happy to admit I'm seething. I don't think accepting that Shindig did me good and proper with his comment but also thinking he's a weirdo and admitting that I'm getting fucked off with him following me around the board and making weird comments at anything I say is like some weird cognitive dissonance thing. It's like how I can still appreciate a banger scored by Ruben Neves despite being a West Brom fan.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Waff, Boyd, Phonics, your loyalty shall not be forgotten x
Pm me the num m8 xQuote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
I've always been loyal you twat.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Telegram > WhatsApp
Shindig is a pure autism cyclone but he doesn't pretend to be anything else.
If you don't want to talk to anyone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Quite the army I'm building. A meet of us five would be epoch defining.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
You and 'how would have a riot sharing all those stories that never happened.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
A meet? I'm out.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
It was a good run.
I’m still waiting on Igor making an effort to come up here. And MJ to answer my drunken texts to get OOT.
If you join Team Shinners you don't have to meet people. Or bathe.
A snapchat video of you taking rat poison in a clubbie bog at 2:30am is hardly a golden invitation to the ball, is it.
You need an important man of the people to make such a gathering happen, and he's taken.
Sounds like a mental night out though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
He was crazy around Cheltenham festival week. :arry:
Nah, I'm much more boring than that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
If you promise to give me a bed and half a bag of talcum powder I'll genuinely come up for a weekend, hombre.Quote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
Clearly I'm on the same mailing list :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Baz
I've obviously subscribed to my life in 2021.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
He's not wrong.
I'm in the wrong thread though.
Fuck it. It lives here now.
Another didn't happen scandal.
I've never made anything on here you little wanker
Nothing says 'rattled' more than an accusatory, aggressive Facebook message. The denial is palpable.
I can’t offer a bed but I’m sure MJ could sort something out. XQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Yeah his ex wife's one is available now. Check with her.
Not sure who wins and who loses there.
Lol my whore wife just called to "LET ME KNOW" that she's seeing someone. I am not at all surprised by this, was just confused as to why she decided to tell me on a Friday morning whilst I'm working.
Then the real reason came out, which was "just in case Amber mentions something". I lost my shit two-fold:
1) How dare she even think about introducing any cunt to my child only 5 months after I moved out
2) How dare she even think about bringing any cunt round to my fucking house
Absolute fucking cunt. I made myself quite clear: no man sets foot in my fucking house.
It sounds like it's a bit late for that.
How long until the divorce is signed and dleivered?
I can't assume, whether it sounds like it or not.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian
I didn't mention it beforehand because I thought the cunt would have the common decency to give me a bit of respect. I moved out so my daughter could keep her bedroom and have as little disruption as possible, not so she could bring cunts back to my house. What a selfish fucking whore. Let's remember as well the event that caused me to move out.
I bet it's the kickboxer.
Fuck knows, not something I've thought about. I'm not married and haven't been since the day I left as far as I'm concerned. Getting the house sold is my only priority.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
This I hadn't considered. Better get on the blower and retract my demands.Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
Move back in to spite her.
I watched a TV show before where not only did the women move her new man into her house while she was still married. She had the new man wearing the old man's clothes.
I think that would be spiting myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Once she moves him in and they get comfy she'll shaft you on selling the house too.
It will be under the pretence that she doesn't want to uproot the kid as well.
Never, ever get married lads.
Nah, just don’t marry your one.
This is something you're going to have to get used to though, Magic. Unless she settles down immediately with one geezer, there could be a few blokes who she ends up bringing back.
How is it something I'll have to get used to when it sells at the start of Sept?Quote:
Originally Posted by 7om
I think he means the fact that your wife will have men around your daughter.
Which surely is the bigger issue, rather than their presence around the bricks you own?
If it sells. I'm not sure if it's changed but there's probably fuck all you can do if she decides to sit tight until the child is 18.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I'm totally fine with her doing what she wants (that includes moving on, of course), just not in what is still my house.
The house will sell immediately but we can't move out until 2nd Sept when mortgage finishes.
Bring your new ting back to your house.
She's definitely sucked fresh cock in your abode.
Your reaction is completely unreasonable on both counts, lol
Like fuck it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
Please go on.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
I'm confused that the 'IT'S MY HOUSE' angle is at the forefront of your reaction. It doesn't seem a major deal to me. She lives there, so she does shit there.
I would be focusing on, and be majorly pissed off about, her having introduced my kid to some bloke she's just started seeing. What if it doesn't work out, is she going to be introducing every cunt she meets to her? A kid doesn't need that instability in their life and it's not exactly a great example to be setting.
Of course, but if nobody is in the house there's nobody to meet. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
This is absurd, how could she avoid doing that? And why would you get so angry? 5 months, 9 months, a year, eventually it’s gonna happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I still don’t understand why you moved out of your own house and let her stay though. That seems pretty dumb, and it’s only gonna make your reactions to everything else a lot worse, knowing she’s in your house fucking other guys.
I wouldn't expect a childless young adult to understand any decisions I make.
So his daughter didn't have to uproot yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
Kid has just seen her parents split so you don't want to then add moving so soon after. It was the right move tbf to Magic.
She has admitted to having 'just started seeing him'. You don't introduce a kid, who is just getting used to their parents having split up, to every Tom, Dick and Harry you give access to your muff. You wait until it's atleast a little bit serious.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
I think not introducing your infant child to blokes that you can't (hopefully) have been seeing for that long/don't know how serious it is, is considered pretty normal behavior. Magics not expressing it properly but it's totally reasonable.
He doesn't know what sort of nonce this cunt is. And even if he's legit in that respect, how many cunts is she going to trawl in front of the child? How long before one is a bit dodgy?Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
The fact she was so blasé about it makes me think she's been fucking whoever it is for considerably longer.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Also you were all right, and have been for many years. I'm sorry and angry I didn't listen.
Did you find out if it was the boxer lad she was seeing before?
The hiding money thing was a dead giveaway in hindsight.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I don't know who it is and I'm trying not to care, but I hope they both die in a fire.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Along with everything else. Fucking psycho and I don't think she's acting in the best interest of my daughter.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Yeah I know, but short of the new guy climbing up a rope ladder to the bedroom window it seems impossible to prevent your daughter from being introduced to himQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
It really isn’t. It’s pretty standard behaviour.
How though? He walks in the front door, girl sees him, presumably he says hi my name is ____ or something.
She could see somebody whilst the daughter is with Magic/parents at the other bloke's place and then if it got serious they could think about introducing.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
It might not seem like a big deal to you, but this could be something that sticks with the kid forever and thus all precautions should be taken.
She goes to school and, presumably, to bed early. It's really not difficult. I had a thing with a single mum years back. I saw her for about 6 weeks and never met the kid.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
This is literally the stuff of nightmares. And I honestly do believe that women are very susceptible to change, regardless of how "wisely" you choose a partner. I've seen many "good girls" suddenly develop an interest in "exploring themselves" later in life, and "party girls" later settle down and behave in an extremely moral and loyal way and look after their children very well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Sure there are probabilities which probably correlate with certain background characteristics, but it can be extremely unpredictable at times.
Agreed. Magic is very justifiably angry with the situation. It's just depraved in its selfishness and inconsideration for her child and the wishes of the father of that child.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
It's called not having him over before bedtime.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
Or meeting at his house, or meeting when the child is with Magic/someone else etc etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Mug, you're being a mong.
I'll admit i have no idea how this shit works, it just seemed odd to me that Magic would get so viscerally angry about this new man stepping foot in his house and making eye contact with his daughter
I mean, it just isn't fucking odd. Have you ever loved someone? It's pretty shitty when that person moves on after you've split up. Now factor in having a child with that person, and said child is getting to know their new partner. Are they the sort of person you want around them? You have no idea. Are they going to try to replace you? Are they going to play games to try to keep you away?
Jesus Mok. This is empathy 101 right here. If you can't understand how a father and husband might struggle with a new man coming into play after a break up, then I really don't know what to tell you.
So it's more that it's misplaced frustration?
No, it's fear, frustration, apprehension, worry, regret and probably a whole tonne of other emotions. His wife and child have a new man in their life. Magic doesn't know the extent of it or even the blokes first name. How are you struggling with this?
For fuck sake, MugBull. This is genuinely embarrassing stuff. It takes a special effort to be the biggest wanker in a conversation that involves Mert talking about female loyalty, but you've shat a hole straight through the bed here.
You’re right. I’ve changed my mind on this. Though the anger seems like the overriding emotion here which is never a good thingQuote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
No one will ever love you sorry bro xxQuote:
Originally Posted by John
The anger will go, but at this stage it's all still too raw with too much changing.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
I was shagging my Missus for 4/5 months before being introduced to her kids and never came close to bumping into them.
Step Da’ Shane :cool:
No it's his child being raised by some rando that his ex-wife shacked up with.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
I can't vent to family either as they'll judge and I don't want her to feel unwelcome for Amber's sake. I know this is a bit holier than thou but I'm aware of every single unpleasant feeling that comes with a breakup from a child perspective. I will never have that for my child.
And another issue is that his wife will be at the stage where all she wants is for Magic to not exist and to get on with life with what she sees as her new family, so any right thinking will go out the window. She'll come round and realise a child's father is important, even if she stays with this lad, but it'll be a long road unfortunately. It's all just stages in the whole process even though that doesn't help mj much now.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
:D
ffs.
I fear you're expecting reasonable actions on her behalf, Magic and she seems to be a generally unreasonable person. If she's as much of a twat as you have made out over the years, then her introducing your daughter to every guy she screws sounds about par for the course. Which may be something you have to come to terms with at some point as I don't think you have any way of changing the situation.
Ultimately this is correct and it's destroying me. I can't fathom that her behaviour is in her own self interest.Quote:
Originally Posted by 7om
Scuba diving didn't go that well lads. I was expecting something ive never tasted before, but it was just like everything else ive ever had. It's all the same.
Is that code for sticking sticking your tongue in an arsehole?
You didn't kiss them, right?Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
NoQuote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
NoQuote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
How much was it? Where did you do to dive? What diving exercises did you carry out?
He kicked her tyres before he set off.
Euphemism or wrong thread?
https://www.urbandictionary.com/defi...Scuba%20Diving
The Act of a man placing one testicle over each nostril of a girl. Then after each testicle is securely in place, placing their cock firmly in her mouth. thus completing the scuba dive.
So if Sincere is talking about doing the tasting then who's cock was in his mouth?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
Spikey's, he wanted a kebab.
Despite all my other perversions I really do not get the appeal of any sort of ball play. Too sensitive.
Me and my work pal agreed, which surprised two female colleagues as they said they'd always received positive feedback. Is it us two being vanilla losers, or have the lads who've shagged my female colleagues just been polite?
Yeah I'm in agreement. Anyone fondling my balls just feels at best uncomfortable and at worst painful. A girl tried sucking on them once and it was fucking agonising.
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
I didnt even know that was even a thing. I just use it as a secret word which Is my version of a llama in the basement
It definitely requires a gentle touch. Stroking of I find quite pleasurable but anything more hands on is a no-no.Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
With small, almost child-like hands.
Why's Mahow there?
Not deformed.
The time's rife for Hammer to come back and tell us how a housewife strangled his knackers.
Hammer must be up as far as the parties where they drill down your japs and cheese grate your arse cheeks at this stage. Assuming he wanted to move up from bondage and kids.
Going round to my house tonight to find out just how big a cunt my ex wife really is.
She's a manipulative, narcasistic, self absorbed whore.
What do you mean you're going round? Like going to watch to see who this new fella is or something?
:lol:
wtf is scuba diving? oral?
Somebody get the van before he does something stupid.
Must be anal related iirc.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
You two need to keep up. Letting the board down.
20 years lads. See you on the other side.
Sup?
Don't do anything retarded.
Yeah, somebody get Waffles on the case.
I’ve already messaged him.
Sounds like she's taken him back.
Didn't follow my advice, the cunt. :nono:
Oh Christ.
Can't have this place ending up on bbc news ffs.
He’s not dead. Yet anyway.
Pity the DC who will have to read the whole of this forum for evidence.
You phoned me on messenger which I had to explain was someone off the internet. Oh but not like that it's a bloke. Oh lord. Thankfully the claw hammer explained it much better.Quote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
No we just had a chat. The aim was to advise and highlight just how selfish a cunt she is. I was shocked at how little she'd considered, telling herself half truths and blatant falsifications of reality to help justify her actions.
So nothing was really achieved but I am fully prepared now to be hurt many times over, and not be taken by surprise. The question is around my daughter. The one thing I thought was in safe hands.
I will explain more tomorrow.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
And I did out of courtesy and respect ask her not to have anyone back to our mutual family home. She agreed, not sure if it'll be upheld. Still to decide on what furniture goes where, I don't want to have to factor whether or not its had another man's Penis on it.
Lol, I didn’t mean that. It didn’t even ring on my end just said ‘connecting’. Glad I won’t need to go to a funeral though.
Ok you can ignore my PM then Magic
Well you will, it'll be your own. Probably this year.Quote:
Originally Posted by Waffdon
Nae doubt. Be some after party though.
Please don't act like that wasn't my default position anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by mugbull
Share it.
I meant ignoring it not the context.
I know.
:(
It was basically Mokkers telling me to stop being a bitch about another bloke using my microwave.
I thought you were gonna go full Kim by Eminem.
Glad to have been wrong though.
I just don't have that in my locker. I got exasperated only once when I felt she was dismissing my feelings but other than that it was a good conversation for me anyway. I called her out on the manipulation as well which she didn't like which makes me think it was the right call and that's exactly what she was doing intentionally or otherswise.
Still expecting a raft of shit decisions but I did float the idea of joint custody and she didn't like it one bit. A card I'll keep up my sleeve for now.
How often do you get to see your daughter?
At the moment fairly often, just not staying over as she has to sleep in my bed.
So she agreed to not let any 3rd party man in the house
She is still flirting with the idea of introducing despite my massive concerns, unsure of what will happen, I just know if it does it'll fuck my kid up
She wants to move nearer her mum which is miles away from the school and my family
She potentially was looking at moving her school
I countered with well she could stay with me as I'll be near the school and she shat her pants that I'd be majority custodian. Is this best for our child? Not sure. I know she is a great mum but moving home, and school, and area, is just far too big a change that would have profound effects. Hopefully it won't come to that but who knows.
At least I'm under no illusions she was acting in her own self interest, hopefully she's done a bit of self reflection but I doubt it. I am definitely prepared to challenge this shit head on now unlike before, no assumptions. Proud of myself.
Dont let her get the best of you magic. Stand on your square and do what is best for your daughter first, and then yourself.
So she's gonna uproot your child's entire life just so she can fuck a random she met a few months ago at best.
I hate this bitch
Is moving schools that big of a deal?
I understand Magic wanting his daughter to stay close to him, but I fail to see the DEVASTATING effect of changing schools.
I fail to see how moving the kid away from all of Magic's family and all of the kid's little friends just so CuntEx can introduce a new man into the kid's life every 2 weeks when she gets tossed out like the trash by previous lovers is going to be a POSITIVE, personally.
FYI you being assertive and setting boundaries probably made her kinda wet. That's all you really needed to do from the beginning anyways, the average woman needs and respects a man who (objectively and non-abusively) keeps her honest.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Proud of you too tbh, that was some man shit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Oh my god new info. Will disclose later.
Stop being such a tease.
Do you have a youtube channel? document your struggle in a streaming format, even if it's just audio.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
My cousin split up with her fella about a year or so ago. They have 3 kids. The eldest kid had her communion (?) this weekend and the dad went, as did my cousins new fella. The kids call the new guy ‘dad’ and their actual dad gets called by his first name. :cab:
Get ready for that one, Magic.
If the new dad is playing the correct role. You can't complain. Magic needs to make sure he is in his child's life and make sure that doesn't happen if he believes itQuote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Update 1:
So, after all that yesterday I briefed my step-mum as she heard the shouty call on Friday. I kind of finished this conversation with "Well at least I found out when I did."
Her reply was "Yeah it's just really horrible the way she did it"
My reply was "Did what? I found her phone and looked through it"
*silence*
So it turns out she'd engineered that. She left her phone in the morning knowing I'd go through it after the paranoia of the past two weeks, but when she phoned me and asked if I'd found it I told her I'd get dad to phone it. He wasn't supposed to come round, so she panicked and came back for it. Weird but nothing untoward given she's fucking obsessed with it. That night, she left it on the living room sofa knowing I'd check it when she went to make dinner. In hindsight, the messages "Let's have an affair" and "Lol ok should be good" really don't stack up. So why did she engineer this? This unnecessarily makes her look like a cunt rather than just telling me to fuck off.
Why did she engineer it 3 days before my life changing appointment with the psychiatrist? I was so enthusiastic and positive about it. Why destroy my life then? Why not see if I got better? She knew the effect that would have on me, I almost did decide to take my own life the day before that appointment.
I could never put 2+2 and get 4. Even applying her selfish cunt framework of 'every action for herself' it still didn't make sense. Until that bit of info. Now the cogs start to go...
So, she had it all planned. I always maintained my life was guillotined, I had no idea the night before that would be the last time we shared a bed together. The last night I'd be able to tuck my daughter in and kiss her on the head in her own bed.
She did. She knew it all. She manipulated me and convinced me not to tell anyone about these messages, for the sake of Amber. She convinced my entire family it had broken down and I'd taken the decision to move out. She convinced me I was bipolar, or had split personality, and I was worth absolutely fucking nothing. She convinced me my daughter would be better without me. She cored me out, leaving me empty. All our friends thinking I drove her to try and escape by being forced to arrange a hypothetical affair that didn't take place and was in all likelihood a series of messages from a friend who she just changed their contact details in the phone.
She also manipulated me to pity her, to give her every single allowance in the book. To pay for almost everything, and continue to pay over and above for extras. And the above highlights how she'd manipulated me to stay away and to leave her to it. To make a series of decisions that I shouldn't be involved in because of my fragile mental state. I need to focus on myself, right? I completely agreed she should have majority custody and that I'd never take it to court because of what I went through as a child.
She sounds like a horrible horrible fucker. Well rid.
It amazes me how people can get into situations like this. I just can't see how I would ever get so close to somebody without recognising the red flags, but at the same time I think it's rather arrogant to believe that I'm incapable of falling victim to such a situation, though that also in turn probably makes me less susceptible.
Did you not at any point think she might be a lunatic, Magic?
Now it starts to get really sinister.
Her insistence on being heavily involved still with my family.
Convincing my family to be nice to her.
Her wanting to come to my gran's 80th.
Her wanting to come to my little sister's 18th.
Her specifically telling me she's leaving the above as a 'friend' is picking her up (I didn't ask, she told me that).
Her telling everyone she's really upset and cries herself to sleep and still loves me.
Her telling everyone she's broke and can't afford food.
Her telling everyone she can't bear the thought of a step-mum for Amber, yet introducing someone so soon
Her telling me that she hasn't even been on a date with this guy, he's never met Amber, he's never been in the house
Her telling me it's really serious and that she'll judge when the time is right
Her telling me she's lonely in the house and wouldn't mind someone coming round from a cup of tea
Her being so specifically clear about taking the bed
So in conclusion:
She's been having an affair for a considerable amount of time, before any of this happened
She panicked when I was so positive about my appointment, she can't dump me after I've been diagnosed as it'll come across as cruel
She set up a hypothetical affair, to mask the real affair, so I would feel good about catching her JUST IN TIME and reacting as such, and taking the blame for causing her to seek an escape
I am totally passive, and allow her everything as predicted. Being amicable and racked with shame and guilt.
I focus on myself, get my own house in order and trust her entirely to bring up Amber on the premise she has the same outlook as me, all the while she's probably fucking this twat in my house whilst Amber is asleep or staying with me
Also meanwhile, she's making arrangements to move to the other side of town beside her cunt family, making enquiries to the schools there and seeking legal advice
Amber meets him (by mistake or not, who knows I will never ask her), and again she panics and calls me just before work on Friday worried that Amber might spill the beans. One can assume it was during that week she was first introduced. I reckon it might have been during the Monday when she was off school.
And here we are.
What she didn't expect was me growing a spine and willing to fight for what is right. She didn't expect me to recognise her emotional torture. She didn't expect me to discard her crocodile tears and insist she strips the emotion away and continues the discussion. She didn't expect me to go for joint custody. And she certainly doesn't know I know she's a lying, cheating, disgusting, psychopathic whore.
I will be seeking legal advice on custody, I want the full royal flush to deploy if it comes to it. I want the house sold, the money split, the divorce completed. And only then will I let her know with one sentence how much of a cunt she is:
"I know exactly what you did".
Offy, like I said, she'd convinced me I was a terrible worthless human, incapable of reasoned thought. For years I read self help books, embarrassed myself on here and defended her honour. I publicly humiliated myself whilst she, in the background, tricked me in to doing her every beck and call.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
I didn't spend any time on myself, I hated myself. I sought help after suicidal thoughts, and ended up on anti-depressants. I am difficult to live with, so when the ADD diagnosis was very close, she chose to play chicken with the father of her child. I was so, so close to topping myself, but decided to see if I did have it or not. Had it been inconclusive, I'd have given up.
If she is willing to push me to the brink of that, then is there anything she isn't capable of.
Are you bashing all this out on a phone? Fair play.
Nah, on my laptop. In a hotel in Oban for a shite training course.
Yeah, I'm just curious as to when it began. Like, at what point did it go from normal relationship (which it must have been at one point) to her slowly manipulating you. Did she ever truly care about you? She must be intelligent to be this calculated, but also calculated to the point of being a psychopath, but surely you'd look into the eyes of somebody you're in a relationship with at some point and think "hmm, bit of a nutjob" before the altar.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I'm not sure I even follow this any more. So she was having an affair already which you didn't know about but then made it look like she was having one so yous would split up?
Seems that way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
I assume the affair was with the guy she wanted/has already let the child meet with. We thought it was early in their relationship but it seems like it was not.
She pulled the plaster off quick as she was afraid of looking too much of a cunt had it came out later. She seems to put the biggest importance into how she comes across to others in all of this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
When we first started arguing before marriage I guess. I was very insecure and couldn't believe I'd got a girl like this so straight away I was betad. This got worse as time went on. Of course if I was thinking clearly I could recognise horrible behaviour but deep down I knew I was to blame every time. And this causes a significant, overbearing feeling of guilt and shame, followed by remorse, and thus the circle is complete and ongoing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
Yes, because her breaking up with her newly diagnosed husband and leaving him in his time of need looks terrible.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Also being found out having a proper affair looks terrible and would have caused significant harm in the shape of my reaction to this.
Not so bad? Creating a fake affair and allowing your husband to 'prevent' it happening by catching it as it was being arranged, and thus placating me and thanking my lucky stars she didn't actually do anything, allows her to blame me for forcing her in to an escape, and isn't so bad that she could convince me not to tell anyone about it.
She gets everything she wants. An embarrassed ex-husband she can control easily, full custody of her daughter, an ex-family that will still welcome her like it's business as usual, round the clock babysitters, the house, big maintenance payments, doing what she wants.
It is extremely clever and well thought out, and of course hides the real, horrible truth.
That is wild.
Your post implies that your step-mum knew this and only revealed it by accident. What? Is that how you worked this out?
This is some really fucked up behaviour. It should be punishable with jail time. She is completely toxic.
Yes, my step-mum is also a whore thrice-married (each time an affair) and her and the bitch got on well. I guess no shame to no shame wasn't a risk for her. This was revealed days after when she went up with a bottle of wine. So she's known for months, and told my dad and on his advice didn't tell me as it would have destroyed my progress.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
My dad has been very cold to her and I've never known why, but I do now. And yes, she'd assumed I'd found out at some point.
It was the missing link, the one big of logic that just wasn't there previously.
Maybe Mert was right about running off to a holiday resort.
The real 4d chess move will come when it is revealed that she did it all for Magic in some sort of Shutter Island scenario.
'I did it so that you can be my alpha.'
Wait a second, your father also knew about this shit? GTFO.
I've become self aware and capable of free thought.
An unexpected and dangerous development.
Only that she set me up to find the messages, not why or within context.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
What the actual fuck.
Fuck that dude dip out and take a one way trip to Alanya for a year and bang some Ukrainians. Unplug. You need it.
Who’s the original affair guy? Hell exists for these sorts of people...
Imagine telling your daughter you wont be able to see her for a year because you're going to 'bang some Ukrainians/devils'.
Fucking hell, this reads like some shit Harlan Coben novel. Genuinely unbelievable that she's manufactured such a deep and sinister narrative against you, Magic and the only saving grace here is that you're still young enough to bail on her and restart your life again.
I just hope she doesn't drag the kid away and you're left with no access. I don't know how it works legally but I'd be expoloring every possible avenue of getting increased access / full custody of your daughter.
And to think, they've just taken Jeremy Kyle off the air.
Maybe they read this thread.
Baz's reddit must be bumping right now.
Nah. The “found kickboxer nudes on my wife’s phone” posts were posted in ‘funny & sad’ but Magic’s lost his humour. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
This seems like way too much effort to dump a bloke.
It is if you've a spine.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
Even so, pointing him out to the affair 'so he can have that victory' is dodgy territory. Unless she doesn't want the bairn.
I mentioned the divorce today in terms of paperwork and costs. Waterworks again, which I just glanced over. Loving it.
If there's one good thing to arrive from finding out the extent of her controlling, underhand behaviour it's that knowledge is power, and you can now use that knowledge to (as ruthlessly as you can bear) arrive as close as possible to your desired outcomes. As long as you know what those desired outcomes are.
In other words, she no longer has the upper hand previously afforded to her by the fact that she's a bad person and you aren't.
This is like the end of Shawshank Redemption.
I'm the Kaiser Sose of the relationship thread.
I think that's her.
Is there a film where the main character just wins everything then it ends?
Frank Lampard the Movie.
Downfall.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Think I preferred the Albanian mafia story tbf.
Can anyone provide a brief summary of the ramblings? I'm fascinated but tired.
She tried to have him over because he's mental but it hasn't worked.....Apparently.
She put the dinosaur bones there to trick him.
Jet fuel can't melt hope's and dreams.
Tbh I still think if Magic hopped on some roids and started very publicly banging some 18-20 year olds, he could probably have his family life back within 18 months. She seems emotionally unstable and flighty enough that it would work.
We can have a talk when I visit Leeds this fall.
Slaying sloots.
Are you new here?
Don't be such a Beta.
He quite clearly has a personality disorder.
He’s just massively insecure and tries to make up for it by imitating what he thinks is ‘alpha’
I doubt he’s that insecure anymore (no more than any of us anyway), but his way of dealing with insecurity in adolescence molded his world view into what it is now, hence the endless pursuit of acquisition.
They're ten a penny here in fairness. He's just a twat.Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlegend
No, he's not. He's got something properly wrong with him.
Had to have the conversation with the estate agent today at the kitchen table, on which was a lovely bunch of flowers from her boyfriend. Has this bitch no shame.
Sounds like she’s upgraded.
Has she lost 10-15 lbs recently?
Yes she was going to the gym before but its dedication now. Still, that's similar to me so doesn't bear any relevance.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Yeah, she was 'going to the gym'.
Maybe she was saying "I'm off to Jim's for a workout".
I suppose someone has to feed the llama.
Someone at work who I like very much just called me "Honey", is that a good sign? :|
It means they have their bus pass.
Yeah age is relevant.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleb
How old is she/he?
It means she's copped you're after her and will have you running around like a twat now.
Honey is never good.
She’ll be calling you mate soon.
I get called honey from a real honey badger of a South African woman customer when she's pissed off, if that helps.
Condescending bitch. That's like me calling her doll.
aye i can't read honey without imagining a middle aged american woman with a "let me talk to the manager" haircut saying it
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Probably mid to late twenties iirc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kikó
I hardly see her anyway as she's tills and I'm just a Warehouse colleague :sherlock:
Shoebox time.
When I worked Asda, one of your lot shagged a till lady in the warehouse. She was fucking massive, but still.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleb
Shoebox time?
That's a new one.
The shoebox never fails.
Honey is fine from a pensioner. Anyone with their own teeth is patronising the shit out of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleb
I also love the way that post is worded "she's tills and I'm just a Warehouse colleague". One day, son. One day you'll smash through that glass ceiling.
Read in Waff's farmer accent for effect.
It's like when Southern lasses get giddy when I call them pet.
Don't worry about it, hen.
I just downloaded Tinder, set it all up and my first card or whatever it is was a 22 year old model porn star. Or she looked like one. Uninstalled straight away.
Better than the first match being the ex tbf.
She's already got a new husband remember.