The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

Heaven help us when Mert gets in here and reads that post.

Now THAT is a Cuck.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

I know I can't really talk after my incomprehensible previous posts in this thread, but I've got a pretty funny story.

There's this guy from a couple of years below me at school, he went out with a good female friend of mine for a few years when they were 16 until about 21. He's always been a really nice guy on the surface, but one of the wettest wussiest people I've ever met. One of those people who is so relentlessly nice but in a obviously fake way, and just devoid of any substance.

Best way I can give an example is he recently unironically posted an "arty" photo of himself on facebook by the Brandenburg gate, wearing a silly colourful umbrella, and making a serious face. Except it was photoshopped so everything was black and white except the umbrella. 40 likes makes me question the future of our species.

Anyway, he's been going out with this ADMITTEDLY really hot cheerleader girl for a while, and they planned this massive year-long, around the world trip together. Cost thousands and thousands. My mate sent an innocuous "good luck with your trip! how's life" message, and he told her that the cheerleader girl had slept with someone else, they "worked through it", and then about 2 weeks later she admitted that she'd actually been sleeping with this other guy regularly for about 2 months. So he broke up with her.

Problem is, the holiday is all in her name, but he paid for most of it! So he's just doing the year long trip around the world with the girl he's just broken up with. Brutal. Naturally they're both producing unbearable charlieissocoollike style Vlogs of their trip, complete with jump-cuts and fake smiles. I'm finding them pretty compulsive viewing, and can't help but be perversely amused by him pretending to be excited by whatever fucking mountain they're climbing in New Zealand or whatever it is in each episode, totally dead behind the eyes. I'm a cunt.

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I want to see the pictures of them. I think it could make us all feel better about our lives.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

I know I can't really talk after my incomprehensible previous posts in this thread, but I've got a pretty funny story.

There's this guy from a couple of years below me at school, he went out with a good female friend of mine for a few years when they were 16 until about 21. He's always been a really nice guy on the surface, but one of the wettest wussiest people I've ever met. One of those people who is so relentlessly nice but in a obviously fake way, and just devoid of any substance.

Best way I can give an example is he recently unironically posted an "arty" photo of himself on facebook by the Brandenburg gate, wearing a silly colourful umbrella, and making a serious face. Except it was photoshopped so everything was black and white except the umbrella. 40 likes makes me question the future of our species.

Anyway, he's been going out with this ADMITTEDLY really hot cheerleader girl for a while, and they planned this massive year-long, around the world trip together. Cost thousands and thousands. My mate sent an innocuous "good luck with your trip! how's life" message, and he told her that the cheerleader girl had slept with someone else, they "worked through it", and then about 2 weeks later she admitted that she'd actually been sleeping with this other guy regularly for about 2 months. So he broke up with her.

Problem is, the holiday is all in her name, but he paid for most of it! So he's just doing the year long trip around the world with the girl he's just broken up with. Brutal. Naturally they're both producing unbearable charlieissocoollike style Vlogs of their trip, complete with jump-cuts and fake smiles. I'm finding them pretty compulsive viewing, and can't help but be perversely amused by him pretending to be excited by whatever fucking mountain they're climbing in New Zealand or whatever it is in each episode, totally dead behind the eyes. I'm a cunt.

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He sounds like a genuinely nice bloke who's been taken advantage of. There will always be jealous types that poke fun when these people find themselves in a rut. He'll come out of it shining. They always do.

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Originally Posted by Magic

He sounds like a genuinely nice bloke who's been taken advantage of. There will always be jealous types that poke fun when these people find themselves in a rut. He'll come out of it shining. They always do.

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Back reading the book?

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Originally Posted by Adamski

Back reading the book?

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:D

How fucked up is this:

One of the wife's mates from maternity classes said she was having a really rough time and wanted to get out of her relationship. So they went for a walk last night then when she came back she told me that the boyfriend's 13 year old nephew had been getting her 4 year old kid to suck him off every time he was round there. It had apparently been going on for ages until he told his mum. They got the police involved but the kid won't tell them, and it has to come from him. The whole family is writing it off as 'boys will be boys' and curiosity but it just sounds so fucked up to me. When I was 13...I mean 13! I'd say the acceptable age for writing it off as that is probably 7...8 at an absolute push?

Fucking sick of this child abuse shit. What is wrong with people.

Also we're going to a wedding this weekend where the groom had an affair with one of his pupils who had just turned 16 (safe to say it was going on before too) and wanted to leave his fiance for her until the coppers got involved. Anyway his fiance quickly had unprotected 'revenge' sex she called it to get herself pregnant and blackmail him in to staying with her. It also kept him out of jail, according to the judge.

:D

So anyone who thinks their relationship is fucked, think of these poor cunts.

Just another weekend in post-industrial Scotland.

Yours is still worse.

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Originally Posted by John

Yours is still worse.

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lol because arguments tho!

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Originally Posted by Magic

How fucked up is this:

One of the wife's mates from maternity classes said she was having a really rough time and wanted to get out of her relationship. So they went for a walk last night then when she came back she told me that the boyfriend's 13 year old nephew had been getting her 4 year old kid to suck him off every time he was round there. It had apparently been going on for ages until he told his mum. They got the police involved but the kid won't tell them, and it has to come from him. The whole family is writing it off as 'boys will be boys' and curiosity but it just sounds so fucked up to me. When I was 13...I mean 13! I'd say the acceptable age for writing it off as that is probably 7...8 at an absolute push?

Fucking sick of this child abuse shit. What is wrong with people.

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You asked for a video didn't you?

Depends on the 13yo as to whether they should know better. A lot of people are getting to adult age and because of being thick/shit parenting don't know anywhere near as much as they should.

Bollocks.

Well, yeah, I mean they should know better. I should have phrased it better. I'm just saying shit parents = shit children. We're all products of our environment.

Magics just angry no-one wanted to suck him off at 13.

'Wanted' is a strange word to use there in reference to a story about a four year old being forced to suck a dick.

Magic is just annoyed he wasn't strong enough to force a 4 year old to suck him off at 13.

Happy?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

I know I can't really talk after my incomprehensible previous posts in this thread, but I've got a pretty funny story.

There's this guy from a couple of years below me at school, he went out with a good female friend of mine for a few years when they were 16 until about 21. He's always been a really nice guy on the surface, but one of the wettest wussiest people I've ever met. One of those people who is so relentlessly nice but in a obviously fake way, and just devoid of any substance.

Best way I can give an example is he recently unironically posted an "arty" photo of himself on facebook by the Brandenburg gate, wearing a silly colourful umbrella, and making a serious face. Except it was photoshopped so everything was black and white except the umbrella. 40 likes makes me question the future of our species.

Anyway, he's been going out with this ADMITTEDLY really hot cheerleader girl for a while, and they planned this massive year-long, around the world trip together. Cost thousands and thousands. My mate sent an innocuous "good luck with your trip! how's life" message, and he told her that the cheerleader girl had slept with someone else, they "worked through it", and then about 2 weeks later she admitted that she'd actually been sleeping with this other guy regularly for about 2 months. So he broke up with her.

Problem is, the holiday is all in her name, but he paid for most of it! So he's just doing the year long trip around the world with the girl he's just broken up with. Brutal. Naturally they're both producing unbearable charlieissocoollike style Vlogs of their trip, complete with jump-cuts and fake smiles. I'm finding them pretty compulsive viewing, and can't help but be perversely amused by him pretending to be excited by whatever fucking mountain they're climbing in New Zealand or whatever it is in each episode, totally dead behind the eyes. I'm a cunt.

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You've gotta post these videos man.

The kind of people do you socialize with Magic :sick:

They aren't my mates!

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Originally Posted by Magic

They aren't my mates!

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Even the nonce family don't want you as a best man.

Again that's the wife's friend is the bride. None of her family are going (none! not even distant cousins or anything). Imagine that. Fucking horrible psychos.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

I know I can't really talk after my incomprehensible previous posts in this thread, but I've got a pretty funny story.

There's this guy from a couple of years below me at school, he went out with a good female friend of mine for a few years when they were 16 until about 21. He's always been a really nice guy on the surface, but one of the wettest wussiest people I've ever met. One of those people who is so relentlessly nice but in a obviously fake way, and just devoid of any substance.

Best way I can give an example is he recently unironically posted an "arty" photo of himself on facebook by the Brandenburg gate, wearing a silly colourful umbrella, and making a serious face. Except it was photoshopped so everything was black and white except the umbrella. 40 likes makes me question the future of our species.

Anyway, he's been going out with this ADMITTEDLY really hot cheerleader girl for a while, and they planned this massive year-long, around the world trip together. Cost thousands and thousands. My mate sent an innocuous "good luck with your trip! how's life" message, and he told her that the cheerleader girl had slept with someone else, they "worked through it", and then about 2 weeks later she admitted that she'd actually been sleeping with this other guy regularly for about 2 months. So he broke up with her.

Problem is, the holiday is all in her name, but he paid for most of it! So he's just doing the year long trip around the world with the girl he's just broken up with. Brutal. Naturally they're both producing unbearable charlieissocoollike style Vlogs of their trip, complete with jump-cuts and fake smiles. I'm finding them pretty compulsive viewing, and can't help but be perversely amused by him pretending to be excited by whatever fucking mountain they're climbing in New Zealand or whatever it is in each episode, totally dead behind the eyes. I'm a cunt.

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Males in 2017. Lol. Either be top 10% or be cucked.

Wait! Is the 4 year old a boy?

Yes. It's homosexual, incestual paedophilia in my book.

Yep, no positives to be taken there. And ignore that PM asking if there really is a video. :rosebud:

I'll Snapchat you it in exchange for John's details.

Lol was at tr paedo wedding and the paedo cousin thing couple were there and it all came to a nice head.

Not a great choice of wording there.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Magic

Lol was at tr paedo wedding and the paedo cousin thing couple were there and it all came to a nice head.

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Lol so further to this paedo cousin the 4 y0 boy's mum was there, she is pretty fit. Her boyfriend was too at night, but she'd been blabbing about it to all the other girls so there were loads of tears etc and he was obviously uncomfortable as fuck. Later on in the night she wanted to dance with me (like, really dance) and I was pretty freaked out by how forward it was. Her BF was in the corner and the in-laws were sitting right on the dance floor so kind of avoided the situation (and had a tremendous wank the next day). Was feeling pretty erotic that she so clearly wanted me.

Anyhow it transpires later today that the wife bumped in to one of the other girls that was there and explained that she was off her face on coke and how disappointed she was. I acted all surprised but secretly I was devastated to be the subject of coke goggles. She probably doesn't even remember. Self esteem taking a pounding.

Coke goggles aren't a thing.

She most likely seen you as a little melt she could unload all her problems on whilst out her tits.

But there were no words. Just mild dirty dancing and really (really) sexual looks.

EDIT: Maybe they were looks of utter despair and destitution.

EDIT 2: Maybe I should have unloaded myself all over her tits.

Sounds like she had Coke burps. Sorry.

She was doing it with a 41 year old mother as well. Belter. See that mad cunt that tried to kill 4 people in Dundee?

Was it the 13 year old?

Was your wife not at the wedding?

Yes.

Did she not see the really (really) sexual looks?

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Originally Posted by Baz

Did she not see the really (really) sexual looks?

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She was eyeing up every other male hoping that she could escape her life.

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Originally Posted by Baz

Did she not see the really (really) sexual looks?

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No it was in a huge marquee not a fucking summer house.

Did you not think to try and get some three-way action with the cokehead?

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Originally Posted by Raoul Duke

Did you not think to try and get some three-way action with the cokehead?

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What? Fuck no, that would involve the wife.

Anniversary today. Completely forgot. Luckily so did the wife. Not sure if that's a bullet dodged or a golden opportunity missed.

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Anniversary today. Completely forgot. Luckily so did the wife. Not sure if that's a bullet dodged or a golden opportunity missed.

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Perfect opportunity to knock them on the head once and for all.

I'd my pre marriage course at the weekend.

Group interactions with wanker couples :sick: Some cunt decided it was his life's mission to make me participate too. He failed.

What the fuck is that. :D

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Originally Posted by Magic

What the fuck is that. :D

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A course you do pre marriage.

A what?

Is that a church thing?

'How to be happy.'