The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

Nah, I don't know about that. She's given plenty of signals that she's into something more committed. Before she went travelling she was very keen on keeping it really secretive (just broke up with her boyfriend, was going travelling for ages), but since she got back, she's been pretty open about the fact she's sleeping with me, introduced me to her parents, and is always talking about the future, albeit in a vague open-ended way (she keeps talking about how we should go travelling to places).

She wasn't at all jealous before either, and quite recently she called me a "dickhead" because she thought I still fancied my ex ( i don't).

She was also intending to move to London as soon as she got back from her travels, but she's sorta made excuses to dick around in the midlanz for another month, then another month etc etc. I feel like her getting tinder might almost be a bit of a "fuck you then" for not making the movez.

If I wanted something committed I'd definitely be happy to have the conversation. But I'm just not sure. Heart says yes, head says no I suppose.

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Maybe she was trying to get back with her boyfriend, now he's rejected that she's going all out to make him jealous.

What kind of ridiculous scale i that? I'm starting to believe some of these gauges aren't real.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

Nah, I don't know about that. She's given plenty of signals that she's into something more committed. Before she went travelling she was very keen on keeping it really secretive (just broke up with her boyfriend, was going travelling for ages), but since she got back, she's been pretty open about the fact she's sleeping with me, introduced me to her parents, and is always talking about the future, albeit in a vague open-ended way (she keeps talking about how we should go travelling to places).

She wasn't at all jealous before either, and quite recently she called me a "dickhead" because she thought I still fancied my ex ( i don't).

She was also intending to move to London as soon as she got back from her travels, but she's sorta made excuses to dick around in the midlanz for another month, then another month etc etc. I feel like her getting tinder might almost be a bit of a "fuck you then" for not making the movez.

If I wanted something committed I'd definitely be happy to have the conversation. But I'm just not sure. Heart says yes, head says no I suppose.

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Mate, just stop being a flange. Get with her, don't get with her - either's fine, but stop being a flange.

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Originally Posted by Disco

What kind of ridiculous scale i that? I'm starting to believe some of these gauges aren't real.

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I have a lot of faith in people so my bullshit detector resides at a much lower negative scale than someone like John, for instance.

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Originally Posted by Disco

What kind of ridiculous scale i that? I'm starting to believe some of these gauges aren't real.

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http://images.gawker.com/18s43nugabspmjpg/original.jpg

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Originally Posted by Magic

Or maybe because two TVs.

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Tv two is closer to the wall but still technically not installed. There was a minor wall hanging related incident at the weekend.

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Originally Posted by Foe

Tv two is closer to the wall but still technically not installed. There was a minor wall hanging related incident at the weekend.

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Try it from a tree, mate. Less chance of it going wrong.

That sounds like bullshit to me but you're the one with the detector.

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

Mate, just stop being a flange. Get with her, don't get with her - either's fine, but stop being a flange.

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Haha, yeah, that's fair. I should save this shit for my livejournal. I think if she just didn't want to get absolutely wrecked at the pub every other night I'd definitely be up for it. inb4 she wouldn't be interested in me if she wasn't drunk all the time

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

Haha, yeah, that's fair. I should save this shit for my livejournal. I think if she just didn't want to get absolutely wrecked at the pub every other night I'd definitely be up for it. inb4 she wouldn't be interested in me if she wasn't drunk all the time

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She's a mentally unstable alcoholic with commitment issues? This doesn't sound like the sort of girl you normally go for.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

Right, so.

Was seeing a girl casually for a few months over summer, but she insisted on it being NON-COMMITTED on account of having just come out of a long relationship, and going off travelling for 4 months.

Since she came back, we've basically continued things as they were, except more intense. Gone on weekends together to places, spending shit loads of time together. We've not had "the chat", but it's certainly felt relationshippy. I'm not sure what I want long term, and never been sure about her outlook, but she's going off to London fairly soon, so I've just assumed we'd bumble along as we have been then stop when she leaves.

However, when I was at her's on Sunday, she was in the toilet and I saw her get a notification of a tinder message. I managed to manipulate an excuse to question her about it without actually admitting what I saw (when she was setting her alarm, I casually looked over her shoulder, and made sure to see the app icon), and she just casually said she was using it for the lolz, and thought it would be fun to swipe right and left, but had no intention of ever even talking to people.

I'm not sure I have any right to be annoyed really, but I can't help but be a bit stung about it. The thought of her going off shagging random blokes in London genuinely doesn't bother me, but the thought of her being on tinder while she's still here....I dunno. Even though she's done fuck all wrong.

I think the main thing that bothers me is that our mutual male friends have asked like "oh so you and [insert name], what is going on there? how serious is it?", and I've genuinely been like "I dunno", but now I know there's a pretty high likelihood that for all these weeks I've been giving unsure answers, they've probably seen her on tinder themselves. Oh well.

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'You've received a message from Emre.'

Think I've picked up a psycho. She's been away in Australia for three weeks and I'm really tempted to block her. She comes back after Valentine's Day so I'm hoping by not getting anything she'll kick off and give reason to end it

Edit: obviously after my birthday on the 19th of course.

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Originally Posted by ScousePig

How often do you argue with your other half? We have petty arguments quite often but have probably only had a couple of full blown rows. Yesterday we were out for a walk and she started a conversation, but I was too busy looking at the view over a wall that I didn't really hear her. So I asked her what she was saying and she said it doesn't matter and became stroppy. She also gets annoyed when she's telling me something about someone she knows and I can't remember who it is. Yesterday I told her that Huddersfield beat Leeds and she said "oh x will be happy". Turns out she was talking about a mate's husband, and I've never even met the fucking mate.

Maybe something for the little things that fuck you off thread, but she has a tendency to start sentences and just randomly stop them and never return to them. Also, if I ever do something 'wrong' she either says 'right...' or 'no, no, no, no...'

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Tell her to stop being an annoying bitch. If she freaks out at you, just be like, 'yeah exactly what you're doing right now, cut it out' and then walk away.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

Right, so.

Was seeing a girl casually for a few months over summer, but she insisted on it being NON-COMMITTED on account of having just come out of a long relationship, and going off travelling for 4 months.

Since she came back, we've basically continued things as they were, except more intense. Gone on weekends together to places, spending shit loads of time together. We've not had "the chat", but it's certainly felt relationshippy. I'm not sure what I want long term, and never been sure about her outlook, but she's going off to London fairly soon, so I've just assumed we'd bumble along as we have been then stop when she leaves.

However, when I was at her's on Sunday, she was in the toilet and I saw her get a notification of a tinder message. I managed to manipulate an excuse to question her about it without actually admitting what I saw (when she was setting her alarm, I casually looked over her shoulder, and made sure to see the app icon), and she just casually said she was using it for the lolz, and thought it would be fun to swipe right and left, but had no intention of ever even talking to people.

I'm not sure I have any right to be annoyed really, but I can't help but be a bit stung about it. The thought of her going off shagging random blokes in London genuinely doesn't bother me, but the thought of her being on tinder while she's still here....I dunno. Even though she's done fuck all wrong.

I think the main thing that bothers me is that our mutual male friends have asked like "oh so you and [insert name], what is going on there? how serious is it?", and I've genuinely been like "I dunno", but now I know there's a pretty high likelihood that for all these weeks I've been giving unsure answers, they've probably seen her on tinder themselves. Oh well.

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Are you kidding me? No way you are this much of a spineless pussy. She is using you as emotional support, while getting banged out on the side by alphas who are better than you, and use her only as a sexual object. You are a placeholder until one of them shows more interest in her.

Let me guess, she doesn't like giving blow jobs? She won't let you do anal? Insists on you going down on her frequently?

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Originally Posted by Foe

Im pretty much destined to be alone. I'd have no tolerance for bullshit arguments these days that even if I did manage to get a girl to settle (unlikely) she'd get frustrated at my lack of enthusiasm for eastenders or some other peasant bitch drama.

She's also make me get rid of my candle blowtorch and fuck that.

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You don't need to do any of that. You just need to be not shitty and attractive. Girls date unemployed scumbags all the time who cheat on them and treat them like shit. Stop making excuses.

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Originally Posted by Mert

Are you kidding me? No way you are this much of a spineless pussy. She is using you as emotional support, while getting banged out on the side by alphas who are better than you, and use her only as a sexual object. You are a placeholder until one of them shows more interest in her.

Let me guess, she doesn't like giving blow jobs? She won't let you do anal? Insists on you going down on her frequently?

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I think it sort of works both ways. I think there is some truth to the idea of her using me for emotional support and shit, but I don't think what I'm getting out of it is hugely different. And no, she is very giving sexually, probably one of the least selfish girls I've been with in that sense.

I think If i was really unambiguously into her, the first bit would have been on the money, but as it is it feels like we're sorta acting out a kind of pseudo-relationship, deriving emotional security from each other without either of us really wanting to commit to it.

I have been on dates and snogged other girls and stuff since we've started seeing each other, and would have had sex with a random tinder girl if she didn't quickly reveal herself to be a total headcase. The only difference is I knocked it on the head when she came back from travelling cus I wanted to see how it would progress, whereas she seemingly never did.

The difference is she can walk outside and get laid with guys 2-3 points better than her on any given night with little to no effort. You cannot do that. The relationship is inherently unequal if there is an open relationship; you are openly rationalizing being c-worded (which I haven't used till this point because Ital threatened me like the tyrant Leftist he is). Anyways you can just tell her that it's unacceptable to use Tinder and that you won't continue seeing her if she does as much. And then fuck other girls on the side anyways. You're just giving up ground because of your fear of confrontation and not wanting to be "needy"- the latter being your rationalization for the former.

You should bin law school off and become a psychoanalyst or marriage counselor, Mert. You seem to know exactly what everyone else is thinking at any given moment. It's very impressive.

Luckily anyone who takes Mert seriously on any subject whatsoever is a grade a spastic. Its just regurgitated bullshit he's read online, ad infinitum.

Which is exactly what insecure beta cuck fuckwits do.

Crying into his pillow as his missus screams "My boyfriend is a fat Turkish cunt" while riding the football team's cock train.

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Originally Posted by Mert

Tell her to stop being an annoying bitch. If she freaks out at you, just be like, 'yeah exactly what you're doing right now, cut it out' and then walk away.

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I do, quite frequently. I also use Spikey's cool story bro line, because banter.

She then tells me to stop being 'petantic' so I take the piss out of her for both her misuse of the word and her poor pronunciation.

Yep, it's a solid relationship.

With the TV issue, we were having this debate Sunday morning at football. I can tolerate emmerdale and corrie, but when she puts on something like big brother I struggle to even stay in the room. It's just people constantly shouting at each other. I've no idea what anyone gets out of it.

Luckily she gets this and generally goes upstairs to watch it. It's a great excuse for us to be in different rooms.

Obviously Magic's is a higher octane situation with the marriage and the kid, but that relationship sounds every bit as dysfunctional.

Watching different TV is fine, but from the face it it you should knock it on the head altogether. Sounds like an awful setup.

I can't abide that vet thing or the spaz dating thing mine watches but I don't be waiting for either to come on so it's an excuse to get away from her.


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Originally Posted by ScousePig

With the TV issue, we were having this debate Sunday morning at football. I can tolerate emmerdale and corrie, but when she puts on something like big brother I struggle to even stay in the room. It's just people constantly shouting at each other. I've no idea what anyone gets out of it.

Luckily she gets this and generally goes upstairs to watch it. It's a great excuse for us to be in different rooms.

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Jeremy Kyle is the worst for that. I don't know how people can stomach it for longer than five minutes.

Is your girlfriend a teacher as well, Scouse?

I knew if I mentioned a couple of negative points in our relationship, the TTH brigade would be clambering for it to end. So predictable. Small petty arguments, difference in TV taste - end it now!!

Aye she is Boydy.

Big enough issue to bring it up on here, though. Arguing in general is pointless. Once somebody raises their voice they're never going to concede. Best thing you can do is irritate them to the point where they want to smack you and then laugh at them.

With the GCSE changes it seems like all the teachers at my wife's school are either off sick or getting pregnant just to get away from it.

It's just somewhere to chat about these things Offshore. Somebody started a thread on the other forum I post on, so I thought I'd mention it here too.

We're primary Wullie, but it's not dissimilar with regards the general feeling.

Fair enough. Having grown up with a mother that will start an argument over absolutely anything I don't have any time for it. Just like watching Big Brother and Jeremy Kyle, there's no benefit, only frustration.

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Originally Posted by Offshore Toon

Fair enough. Having grown up with a mother that will start an argument over absolutely anything I don't have any time for it. Just like watching Big Brother and Jeremy Kyle, there's no benefit, only frustration.

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Sounds like Igors sex life.

For the record, we've been living together for a year now and I imagine the occasional petty squabble isn't uncommon.

With regards the future, who knows. For the vast majority of time we get on well, and she's made me as happy as I can remember for a long time. We have similar interests in many aspects, but completely different when it comes to things like music, film and she can't stand football.

Me and my girlfriend went 'Facebook official' yesterday apparently.

It's been 5 months on Friday and she's pretty boss. :cool2:

Congratulations mike. One of us.

I've booked a table at a tapas restaurant for our anniversary on Friday. We're doing that as a kind of joint Valentine's/anniversary thing as we're out tomorrow anyway and her mum is staying over in the evening. Haven't bought anything yet for either though. Does a card, flowers and maybe some chocolates suffice for Valentine's? I can't think of what to get her for the anniversary though. I know she's got me some aftershave but I got her perfume for Christmas a couple of months before so might have to think of something else. She loves Pandora and I've got her charms from there before but I think she's got enough of them.

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Originally Posted by Mert

The difference is she can walk outside and get laid with guys 2-3 points better than her on any given night with little to no effort. You cannot do that. The relationship is inherently unequal if there is an open relationship; you are openly rationalizing being c-worded (which I haven't used till this point because Ital threatened me like the tyrant Leftist he is). Anyways you can just tell her that it's unacceptable to use Tinder and that you won't continue seeing her if she does as much. And then fuck other girls on the side anyways. You're just giving up ground because of your fear of confrontation and not wanting to be "needy"- the latter being your rationalization for the former.

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It's OK since you can't c-word, I'll do it.

You're a fucking cunt.

I'm going to order a pizza for the missus tomorrow and give her a card and some roses. That's enough really.

Re: arguing. I think me and the missus has had one or two sort of shouting arguments over the past 3 years. I don't think either of us can be bothered with it.

Probably have one row a year. Been together 5 years. We don't really do petty little arguments, just save it all up for the big un.

Oh and fuck Valentine's Day, we won't do owt.

I've bought her some roses and some fancy prosecco (well it's in a box) as it's her favourite, and a nice card.

For our anniversary, and I don't know if this is really sad, but I've ordered her a personalised candle set, and a personalised wine goblet thingy.

We have a few petty arguments here and there, but rarely anything semi-serious. She's a bit of a 'mare at the moment because she's stressing about the house.

We have a tendency for one of us to go into a little strop, the other one to take the piss out of it and then we forget what it was about to begin with. Too lazy for big screaming matches.

We had two types of argument, one was along the lines of which version of Thomas Crown was better or if Demolition Man was a comedy or not. The other was always because she was worried about something and I wasn't and that somehow meant I didn't care or take it seriously rather than the truth which was that I didn't see the point in worrying about something out of our control so I would simply decide not to.

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Originally Posted by Mazuuurk

It's OK since you can't c-word, I'll do it.

You're a fucking cunt.

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You've been conditioned by your woman handlers to shame and marginalize any expression of male power. You're a shell of a man and it's sad really, you are complicit in your own oppression.

What happened to you and your girlfriend, mert? Did you bin her off after graduation?

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Originally Posted by ScousePig

I've booked a table at a tapas restaurant for our anniversary on Friday. We're doing that as a kind of joint Valentine's/anniversary thing as we're out tomorrow anyway and her mum is staying over in the evening. Haven't bought anything yet for either though. Does a card, flowers and maybe some chocolates suffice for Valentine's? I can't think of what to get her for the anniversary though. I know she's got me some aftershave but I got her perfume for Christmas a couple of months before so might have to think of something else. She loves Pandora and I've got her charms from there before but I think she's got enough of them.

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Her mum is staying over, on Valentine's evening? That's either crushing obliviousness or you're in for one of those nights the sort of like only dreamt of by a porn director.

We're off out for dinner. It's the sort of place that would make Giggles seethe.

I'll be staying in with the mrs and having steak and a few drinks once the baby is in bed. I've never really given a fuck about Valentines so it's just a normal night but with a decent dinner.

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Originally Posted by Raoul Duke

Her mum is staying over, on Valentine's evening? That's either crushing obliviousness or you're in for one of those nights the sort of like only dreamt of by a porn director.

We're off out for dinner. It's the sort of place that would make Giggles seethe.

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Knives, forks, and spoons eh? Fancy

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Originally Posted by Raoul Duke

Her mum is staying over, on Valentine's evening? That's either crushing obliviousness or you're in for one of those nights the sort of like only dreamt of by a porn director.

We're off out for dinner. It's the sort of place that would make Giggles seethe.

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She asked me if it was okay last week and I didn't twig until the other day. And it's definitely not the latter.

They're going on a spa break Wednesday and seeing as we're meeting up tomorrow anyway, it makes more sense for her to come back with us and stay here so that they can go together. It would probably have made even more sense for them both to go back to her mum's, which would have been more demoralising.

Would it? Give me a choice between my mother in law staying over on Valentines and the house to myself for a night and I know how I'd choose.