The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

What's she on Tinder for then?

She isn't. I serve her at work sometimes. She came into the bank the other day and asked me if I wanted to go for lunch.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

Want her number, @GS ?

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"Sorry, hun. I only do Jews."

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

She isn't. I serve her at work sometimes. She came into the bank the other day and asked me if I wanted to go for lunch.

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Dont you work for a bank? Are you sure she isn't trying to bribe you? :D

Who guesses she asks to deposit some money no questions asked in due course.

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Originally Posted by leedsrevolution

Dont you work for a bank? Are you sure she isn't trying to bribe you? :D

Who guesses she asks to deposit some money no questions asked in due course.

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She'd have put out in that case.

So we've had Albanian Mafia and now Romanian Orthodox Mafia. How many do we need for a full house?

She made me add her on facebook and when i was on her wall she insisted on translating the posts which were all shit motivational quote type shit. "ya, this one means i have had the experience and if good experience i happy and if bad experience it make me stronger" etc etc. She is pretty fit though.

I worked with a Bulgarian who was probably the most beautiful woman I've ever met. She was fucking brain dead though. It's the rules.

Eastern Europe is a weird place, man. Here in Czecho we've had enough rectifying German influence so that we're pretty normal, but the further east you go the wilder the territory.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

Omg. Just went for date with fit customer. Fucking STRICT Romanian Orthodox. No sex before marriage. No drinking and smoking. Believes in deeply Patriarchal society ("women need be more moral than man because as my father say a bad woman can make man bad but bad man can't make woman bad"), said "I hate Indians" at one point, and about a quarter of the stuff she said I didn't even understand because of her accent. Want her number, @GS ?

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:lol:

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Originally Posted by Shindig

"Sorry, hun. I only do Jews."

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That wasn't GS.

Like I've ever seen you two in the same room.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

She made me add her on facebook and when i was on her wall she insisted on translating the posts which were all shit motivational quote type shit. "ya, this one means i have had the experience and if good experience i happy and if bad experience it make me stronger" etc etc. She is pretty fit though.

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"Here's me with a terrible ginger beard"
"Here's me asleep in an uncomfortable chair at a quirky mate's house"
"Here's me in a Wetherspoon's with three other virgins drinking fruit ciders"
"Here's me in McDonald's Gorgie getting a Big Mac at 2am. Not meal because the chips bloat me"

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Originally Posted by Magic

"Here's me in a Wetherspoon's with three other virgins drinking fruit ciders"

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:lol:

Show us a pic, igor.

Retail banking. If ever I needed a push.

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Originally Posted by Magic

"Here's me with a terrible ginger beard"
"Here's me asleep in an uncomfortable chair at a quirky mate's house"
"Here's me in a Wetherspoon's with three other virgins drinking fruit ciders"
"Here's me in McDonald's Gorgie getting a Big Mac at 2am. Not meal because the chips bloat me"

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"Here's me with my family pretending to be happy"

Igor wins.

No chance.

Having to suck it up and walk around the suburb looking at Christmas lights was rough. I don't get the appeal. Plenty of suspect peadophiles get into it though which is nice.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

"Here's me with my family pretending to be happy"

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It isn't disingenuous. :(

Don't worry mate, you definitely won.

If he had went with "Magics family pretending to be happy..." then it's a different game but he fucked it.

I call it for Igor, but it might not be as relatable to someone who doesn't actually have Magic on Facebook.

Igor is my boy but I give it to magic. It was top work all round you should all be proud.

Igor sounds like he's experiencing some kind of Brexit bonus.

I'll take that as a win by judges decision.

I'd have given it to you, in all honesty. I went for a weak cliche and you properly deconstructed my zany caricature of a life. Like a newly promoted side at the Etihad, I'm just happy to be here.

I'm at home with the rents for Christmas break and don't know anyone my age in Prague, so I had made it a goal to go on as many Tinder dates as humanly possible. I've been swiping for 3 days now and have not made a SINGLE NEW MATCH. Wtf? my profile hasn't changed at all. A lotta hotties too.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

I'd have given it to you, in all honesty. I went for a weak cliche and you properly deconstructed my zany caricature of a life. Like a newly promoted side at the Etihad, I'm just happy to be here.

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I still class you as one of my real friends, tbf.

Get a room.

U 2 x @Magic

:gay:

Take it to whatsapp :henn0rz:

FB messenger, acts.

So the women I've been dating for two years has a seven year old kid and today he asked if I'll be his new Dad...

What happened to the old one?

He still sees him but he is a volitile drunk. I treat my role as a goofy playmate who talks up his dad. I did tell him that he has a Dad and that he loves him very much.

I kinda saw it coming it just caught me off guard because it was just me and him.

Any Step Fathers among us?

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Originally Posted by Queenslander

He still sees him but he is a volitile drunk. I treat my role as a goofy playmate who talks up his dad. I did tell him that he has a Dad and that he loves him very much.

I kinda saw it coming it just caught me off guard because it was just me and him.

Any Step Fathers among us?

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I did it before (nearly 5 years) and unless the actual father is dead or far far away I would never do it again. Now, a lot of it is down to the people involved so hopefully my experience will be completely different from yours. If you can keep the non Dad role thing going then all the better.

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Originally Posted by Queenslander

He still sees him but he is a volitile drunk. I treat my role as a goofy playmate who talks up his dad. I did tell him that he has a Dad and that he loves him very much.

I kinda saw it coming it just caught me off guard because it was just me and him.

Any Step Fathers among us?

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I would tread very, very lighly. As much as it's a nice gesture on the kids behalf, if the father is still involved in his life and his son starts calling you 'dad' then I can only see that causing problems. On the other hand - it's not as of you can say no.

All step parents are cunts so you should say yes then destroy his childhood.

Hopefully your Mrs new fella is the exception.

I've told him to call me by my name and I'm not his dad the few times he has tested it.

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/new...xual-partners/

How far below Par are you, Magic?

They could all just be a city of bullshitters.

Fair play for trying to bring back 'randy'. Haven't heard that since the days of Men Behaving Badly.

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Originally Posted by John

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/new...xual-partners/

How far below Par are you, Magic?

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Quite a bit.

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Originally Posted by SvN

Fair play for trying to bring back 'randy'. Haven't heard that since the days of Men Behaving Badly.

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'Randy' has never disappeared from the tabloid press up here. It's in the bucket of words that only they use, along with 'romp', 'love rat', etc.

And the verb 'to bed'.

I've mentioned it before, but I spent basically the entirety of my 2nd year of university in the most dysfunctional stupid relationship. Only realised towards the end, because it was my first relationship and I just assumed the arguing and manipulation was par for the course (reading this place, maybe it is LOL).

An additional factor was that my mate from home who also ended up going to the same university was my only flatmate, and he spent the ENTIRETY of our relationship attempting to "cuck" me as our Turkish friend would say. I went home for an invasive eye operation, and he took her out for a "friendly" meal. A friendly £80 meal that he paid for.

Me and said girl agreed to go on a break around January, and he immediately arranged to go for a drink with her on a Friday evening. Girl also arranged to go for a quick drink with me an hour or so before their meeting, to have a catch up. Initially we agreed to do it quickly, then I'd leave so she could see my flatmate. Looking back it was fucking mental, and the most transparent game playing, but I was young and stupid and just went along with it. Problem was that we were having a nice time, and she texted my friend to turn their date into a 3-way drink with me as well.

As the drinks poured, me and the girl were getting more and more intimate and my flatmate, who obviously thought going in that this was finally his chance to get the girl, was getting visibly more uncomfortable. It culminating in me and the girl telling him we were going back to her house, and when we got back she got a stream of texts telling her he was going to hurt himself and such. We got a taxi back to my flat, to see several plates smashed on the floor, and the mirror in his bedroom cracked from him punching the fucking thing.

After that he had to go home for a week to basically recover from his mental breakdown, and me and the girl started seeing each other again for the rest of the academic year. Strange atmosphere at my flat to say the least. Looking back, I definitely only stayed with her after the initial break out of a spite. I don't even feel that guilty about it tbh.

Because I was too incompetent and lazy to find alternatives, me and that guy STILL LIVED TOGETHER in that 2 bed flat for our 3rd year, except for that whole year he was going out with her. :D It was actually pretty boss, because he felt so guilty about it and I had so little respect for him that I did literally whatever I wanted. I don't think I did a single piece of washing up that whole year, and I started going out with a girl I actually liked.

ANYWAY, fast-forward 4 years and they're still together, and recently got engaged. I'm genuinely happy for them, though I never really speak to them. But the girl has invited me to their engagement party, rather strangely, and even stranger still I've agreed to go. I'm rather looking forward to it, if only for the LOLZ. I'll be sure to inform you all of the carnage.

As soon as you go outside after 8pm you're a 'reveller'

Aye, that's/you're pretty stupid, igor, but I'd definitely go to the engagement party and see what's happening.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

I don't think I did a single piece of washing up that whole year, and I started going out with a girl I actually liked.

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Fucking hell, I really showed him. Seriously though, she was gross and doing no housework WAS the real victory.

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Originally Posted by igor_balis

I've mentioned it before, but I spent basically the entirety of my 2nd year of university in the most dysfunctional stupid relationship. Only realised towards the end, because it was my first relationship and I just assumed the arguing and manipulation was par for the course (reading this place, maybe it is LOL).

An additional factor was that my mate from home who also ended up going to the same university was my only flatmate, and he spent the ENTIRETY of our relationship attempting to "cuck" me as our Turkish friend would say. I went home for an invasive eye operation, and he took her out for a "friendly" meal. A friendly £80 meal that he paid for.

Me and said girl agreed to go on a break around January, and he immediately arranged to go for a drink with her on a Friday evening. Girl also arranged to go for a quick drink with me an hour or so before their meeting, to have a catch up. Initially we agreed to do it quickly, then I'd leave so she could see my flatmate. Looking back it was fucking mental, and the most transparent game playing, but I was young and stupid and just went along with it. Problem was that we were having a nice time, and she texted my friend to turn their date into a 3-way drink with me as well.

As the drinks poured, me and the girl were getting more and more intimate and my flatmate, who obviously thought going in that this was finally his chance to get the girl, was getting visibly more uncomfortable. It culminating in me and the girl telling him we were going back to her house, and when we got back she got a stream of texts telling her he was going to hurt himself and such. We got a taxi back to my flat, to see several plates smashed on the floor, and the mirror in his bedroom cracked from him punching the fucking thing.

After that he had to go home for a week to basically recover from his mental breakdown, and me and the girl started seeing each other again for the rest of the academic year. Strange atmosphere at my flat to say the least. Looking back, I definitely only stayed with her after the initial break out of a spite. I don't even feel that guilty about it tbh.

Because I was too incompetent and lazy to find alternatives, me and that guy STILL LIVED TOGETHER in that 2 bed flat for our 3rd year, except for that whole year he was going out with her. :D It was actually pretty boss, because he felt so guilty about it and I had so little respect for him that I did literally whatever I wanted. I don't think I did a single piece of washing up that whole year, and I started going out with a girl I actually liked.

ANYWAY, fast-forward 4 years and they're still together, and recently got engaged. I'm genuinely happy for them, though I never really speak to them. But the girl has invited me to their engagement party, rather strangely, and even stranger still I've agreed to go. I'm rather looking forward to it, if only for the LOLZ. I'll be sure to inform you all of the carnage.

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Unless you fuck her, don't bother.