Yep, I want full IP and that's non-negotiable.
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Yep, I want full IP and that's non-negotiable.
Then you're working for Channel 4 not the BBC.
Cast is still being decided, pilot will need about 10, + extras. Youtube pilot will be one thing, 29 minutes long and with an accompanying trailer. I'm going to film it at 6 in the morning on a summer's day, buy/borrow a load of shit 90s cars, raid charity and second hand electronics shops and hire a TFP cast.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
So be it if that happens. IP is critical.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
And Ideally I want the pilot to start a bidding war. The price of the bid is not the main priority, the terms are. This idea has been 20+ years in the making, it's the only one I've got and I'd genuinely rather not do it than do it in someone else's image or not reap the full fruits of it.
Sorry but this just doesn't exist at all. It just doesn't.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
Create the product, decide how good it is, decide whether it matters from there.
Your first project should never be your dream project in a post-Netflix world because you will learn a million things from the first project and you'll have leverage to actually get the above based on the success of the first project.
The problem now is that there's too much money, and too many people who want in. It means that all the money goes to the people already in and that the people who want in are scum and should be treated as such.
With respect, you're wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
The best thing Gervais ever or will do was The Office, the best thing Stallone ever did or will do was Rocky.
I don't care if I don't have a film career, I really don't, Maybe they did and they compromised, I won't be on the deal breakers.
With respect, I don't think I am but maybe I'm more cynical.
Jordan Peele had a several year running comedy show and was given a budget of 4 million. The only advantage you have over him is being white.
Both of these things were created in a different media era. It just doesn't work like this anymore.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
How much are you planning to spend on the pilot?Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
The 90s bit of the pilot will have one outdoors scene, which will be tricky, but I've learnt a lot from how they did 28 Days Later.
Fuck all.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Reckon I could do it all for thousands, maybe one, but a LOT of my time, which is the most valuable commodity any of us have once we hit 40.
Just to be able to film on the street would require licensing and consent forms for anyone that walked through your shot which costs more than 1k. It's a different era.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
You can cheat on distribution now with the net but everything else is a legal nightmare.
This will cost nothing (the series that is, not the pilot) to make and I'll be using completely unknown actors, deliberately.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Keep up. I'm not gonna have time to repeat stuff soon. As stated, I'll be doing it at 6am. There'll be tramps, rapists and those returning from one night stands. That'll be it. Everyone else will be working for me, for free or a share of future profits.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
And you'll have to get said tramp and rapist consent forms and if you can't show them then it can't be shown on a commercial network.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
I'm just trying to make aware of the various traps they use to fuck you., Not say it can't be done.
If I've got something that's got millions of hits on Youtube, that people are crying out for more of, I'll hold all the cards, with no real time issue either as it's unlikely I'll use the same cast for the actual thing.
I can make it, release it, jump back on to stir the pot and watch those numbers multiply like rabbits. If they don't after a year or two, no harm no foul and I'll give up.
Pilot won't be the version that's broadcast when it gets commissioned.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
And keep em coming, they're really helpful, but I genuinely have answers for everything. I'd love to be stumped, but I've been mulling this over for over 7,500 days.
All the above is absolutely fair. But Yev, I just need to warn you cause I don't want you to get hurt.
A million views on a youtube account with no prior build is 1) almost impossible now 2) incredibly, incredibly, incredibly rare for the UK. It's not 2014 where you can game it anymore.
To put it into perspective, for accounts that were made after they blocked gaming the system without paying Google. Here is the most popular sports show DURING THE PLAYOFFS in americas view rate:
https://i.imgur.com/fpra3ZY.png
and I mean this with absolutely zero offense intended, you have no idea how many of the people who have the ability to film/produce this shit have been offered 'future profits' on things.
I've got a good 20-30 future profits Im waiting on.
Still 2/10 and I like a challenge. I've never failed at anything in my life when I've tried and I don't intend to start now. I'll need you all to help mind to get it off the ground mind (you're all invited to the island, think Necker but with no Branson or the dreadful Winslet and actually fun) when it has.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
I will get something to go viral in my life and I hope it's this. I really do.
I'm going to sign off now but Yev, at the very least, the positivity is inspiring.
I can pay Google? How much is that? It's dirt cheap, isn't it? Fuck me, if it's good, that'll make it an absolute piece of piss.
Cheers Phonics, you're a gent and you've been very helpful. Pint when you're back in Blighty at the very least.
Night from me too gents.
So the trick is to pay them until it gets into the youtube algorithm and then once that happens you're set for exponential views.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTJyDe7a2bo
Jesus. IMHO I tick all his boxes.
Life (Working Title) - The Pilot
Opening scene on the moon, the flag the US placed can be seen and in the distance is earth, we zoom in through Google Maps to a co-op. A middle aged (late 30s grump is trying to buy some vape juice). The year is 2020 but all the audience can tell is it's modern day-ish.
SCENE 1 - Approx Runtime 3 mins.
https://i.postimg.cc/mrRMbx6D/1-Co-OP.jpg
Bread, milk, 8 selection variety box of cereal and 8 Bud Lights have been scanned.
David: "Please can I have two 6MG Wild Berry Vape Juice"
Cashier: "Sorry, which one"
David: "6MG, Wild Berry Vape Juice. Two of them"
David: "No, that's wild ice"
David: "To the right"
David: "THE RIGHT"
Cashier: "This one?"
David: "No the next one"
Cashier: "Gotcha"
David: "THE RIGHT!"
David: "No, 6MG"
Cashier "We don't have any"
David "You do, I'm literally looking at them"
LONG PAUSE
Cashier: "Oh yeah, sorry we do have it"
PUTS ONE ON THE TILL
David: "Two please"
Cashier: "How many?"
AUDIBLE SIGH
David: "Two"
VAPE JUICE WON'T SCAN, AN ETERNITY PASSES AS THE NUMBER ON THE BARCODE IS TYPED IN, TWICE
Cashier: "That'll be £39.90 please, how are you paying?"
David: "I'm not paying £39.90, the vape juice is £2.49 a bottle"
Cashier: "No, it's not"
David: "Yes, yes it is"
Cashier: "Well it's scanned at £14.95"
David: "Yes, that's wrong, look at the ticket on the shelf. It's £2.49 - the description matches perfectly"
Cashier: "Oh yeah, sorry"
David: "No probs"
Cashier: "£14.98 please?"
David pays and says thanks, picks up his shit and leaves.
Music starts playing and gets louder:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-fyNgHdmLI
David walks back to what appears to be his house, aerial shot. It's a cold but sunny day, he's not dressed appropriately. Says hello to a couple of people before letting himself in. Music is now loud.
Puts the milk in the fridge and the cereal and bread on the side before unpacking the beers from their shit cardboard packaging. They nearly fall and smash on the kitchen floor but he salvages things. Clock on the microwave says 7:45 am.
He takes the 8 beers into another room downstairs which is a shower and toilet room and puts the beers in the shower, turns on the shower head and wets them before applying Lynx Africa shower gel to the top of each. Washes them furiously and seems pleased with this. Picks them up and puts them on the side in the kitchen next to the fridge and grabs his laptop bag and puts it by the front door and heads upstairs undressing as he goes. Arse shot maybe included here. Music fades out and screen cuts to black.
SCENE 2 - Approx runtime 3 mins
Screen fades back in, we see a bridge from a first person perspective of someone walking up to and over it. There are buses, bikes and pedestrians everywhere. It's the year 2001 but this isn't made apparent to the audience albeit they may notice it's not modern day.
Music starts and gets louder.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OygsHbM1UCw
Camera pans out, we see a young man (21) in an ill fitting suit and tie walking over this bridge.
He continues walking past dreaming spires of central Oxford and, utterly confused by the options he grabs a coffee before ending up at the reception of an office building. He talks with no confidence and the slight hint of a stutter.
https://i.postimg.cc/sgcSBKLK/3-Beaver-House.jpg
Young man: "Hi, I'm here to see Jason, I start a new job here today"
Receptionist: "No problem, take a seat and he'll be down"
Youngman: "Thank you"
5 MINS Pass and JASON APPEARS. He looks in his 30s but has clearly had a tough paperound, his skin is fake tanned, covered in acne and leathery and he has a shocking (spiky) haircut.
Jason: "Hi, good to see you, I'll show you round"
THEY GET IN A LIFT AND GO TO THE SECOND FLOOR where about 6 departments are all on one floor containing about 100 people, most of which are already in. Young man looks nervous as he's shown around.
Jason: "Here's our department, credit control, here's Purchase Ledger", here's cash and banking, here's Management and Statutory accounts ad here are the directors offices"
Young man: asks nervously "Where's my desk?"
Jason: "You don't have one, you'll be working downstairs. I'll show you now."
BACK IN THE LIFT THEY GO TO THE GROUND FLOOR POSTROOM AND JASON INTRODUCES THE YOUNG MAN TO THE POST MASTER.
Roger the postmaster: "Nice to meet you, if you wanna make a start on that sack over there, sorting it into departments then names. Should take about an hour. Give me a shout when you're done".
The young man does it in 10 as the song above crecendos. Roger is impressed but decides to undermine him by focusing on the mistakes before showing him another 8 bags.
MUSIC DIPS
Young man: "How long have these been here?"
Roger: "About a week's worth"
Young man "I'll get cracking"
MUSIC LOUDENS THEN STOPS, screen fades to black.
SCENE 3 - TITLE SCREEN WITH ACCOMPANYING MUSICE AND RELEVANT CREDITS (song to be decided still) - 1 minute approx (now 7 mins in total)
https://i.postimg.cc/TY1BNHV5/4-Title-Screen.jpg
All feedback welcome, constructive or otherwise.
SCENE 4 - 2001 - HANDING OUT THE POST - 3 MINS - 10 TOTAL
SCENE 5 - 2020 - LEAVING HOME AND ARRIVING AT THE OFFICE - 3 MINS - 13 TOTAL
SCENE 6 - 2001 - PUB LUNCH - 3 MINS - 16 TOTAL
SCENE 7 - 2020 - LUNCHTIME DRIVE AND SHOP - 19 TOTAL
SCENE 8 - 2020 - TRAINING COURSE - 3 MINS - 22 TOTAL
SCENE 9 - 2001 - PUB - 3 MINS - 25 TOTAL
SCENE 10 - 2020 - MATERNITY LEAVING PRESENTATION WITH CAKE BAKING CONTEST RESULTS - 3 MINS - 28 TOTAL
SCENE 11 - 2020 - OFFICE WATCH 1ST BORIS ANNOUNCEMENT - 1 MIN - 29 TOTAL
SCENE 12 - CLOSING CREDITS - 1 MIN - 30 TOTAL
Sorry Lewis, I won't be doing a WDYTOE Now.
Right, can someone merge all these together in an appropriate length vid, with the Coldplay song below playing over it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZUfdnmtg4Y
Toggle Spoiler
Ta muchly.
You're a massive headcase, Yev.
What do you reckon to it?
Can I be in it?
Need more actual feedback peeps.
I’ve done two things in the teaser trailer that are manifest genius. Firstly, the coming 2022 thing ties in with when life should come back and second the title sounds like a prequel Gervais is working on.
Mate you write game reviews of pervert weeb visual novels for a website I’ve never heard of. Those in glass houses.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
Feedback, please.
The best way to quickly and cheaply show it is 2001 in the second scene is probably have the character walk past a poster advertising Shrek as now in cinemas, or something along those lines.
The first two scenes you have described both seem decent though I have no idea what relevance they have to one another.
My feedback:
1. A lot of it reads like writing not how people speak. Like I have no idea where this is set because the writings quite generic.
2. I have no idea what type of show it is. There’s not enough jokes for a sitcom where you need to aim for about a joke every 40 seconds. If it’s a drama, nothing has happened and we’re already at the 4th scene.
I don't want to show it's 2001. I want intrigue and lots of it.
And you're not meant to work it out. Some will, who pay attention and that shall be there reward, the rest will have to wait until much later.
And cheers for the feedback.
Great. The jokes will be coming thick and fast as the episode warms up, but the opening scene, if shot well, will be funny.Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
Ta for the feedback.
2. No need to know what type of show it is, I don't want it to be boxed.
But loving the intrigue/confusion it's generated, that is exactly what I was going for. 2.1/10.
And if anyone can merge those slides into a video it'd be appreciated. want that out there ASAP to test how hard getting something to go viral actually is.
We're moving now gents, first episode should be done in that format today.
It's gonna be one hell of a ride.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
You posted the script at 05:27am and by 08:22 you'd ask for feedback twice. :D Most normal people are asleep.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
True, but those posts were directly addressing the bitching. No need for that. If it's shit tell me why.
What the fuck.
Although I think I should pencil down how I'm hoping it will be received as that'll illustrate the method in my (not actual) madness.
I’m not a Hollywood writer, I’m phonics but You’re making a pilot. The 3 scenes have taken 10 minutes and nothing has happened. It’ll be turned off before any of it matters. You need to do something that grabs people in the first 4-7 minutes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yevrah
The average YouTube 5 minute video is only watched for 30-50 seconds. You don’t have an audience from a large social media platform and YouTube isn’t made for long form media that isn’t gaming/makeup/celeb gossip. It’s fine for the bbc where you don’t have a choice but not YouTube.
Again, this is useless.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I haven't issued cards for years, but if I have to I will.
Reading it again. It feels like a book not tv. Let me find a script template for you to guide off.
Did you go to bed at all?