What the fuck man
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You never tried it, Mert? I thought you were alpha?
And to think they said this place was negative.
Meeting tinder girl in Birmingham today, gonna get some cocktails and pay our respects to the gays at pride.
I told the saga of my 2nd year of university relationship, and my then good mate's year long pursuit of her whilst also being my flatmate many years ago on here. The interest was obviously requited, and I ended up staying with her for months longer than I should have done basically out of spite. As soon as I broke up with her they got together, and they're now engaged.
She was my first proper girlfriend, and I didn't really realise how dysfunctional it was. She was super insecure and controlling and generally weird, and, well, the thing with my mate as well obviously wasn't ideal.
Anyway, I sort of assumed/hoped that she'd be a lot more chilled out and normal now she's in a long-term stable relationship with someone who is far more...passive. Ex and me argued constantly because I basically refused to take the "lol ask the missus" role, whereas he just wants a happier life. Apparently not.
Two or three years ago all da lads agreed to meet up and have a night out, and old-mate had to leave early because he had to send a snapchat to her to prove he wasn't out, because he wasn't allowed to go out partying. "err, what is she doing?" "she's out with her friends back home". Mental.
I'm still good mates with this lad's older brother, and he'd agreed to go to a festival with them the other weekend. Older brother got a phone call literally 2 days before the festival saying "we decided we didn't want to come". He didn't make up some excuse, he literally just said "well, we'd rather spend our money on going to a nice restaurant as a couple". I.e. what they do EVERY FUCKING WEEKEND, if facebook is anything to go on. He obviously still wanted to go to the festival, but older brother could hear the girl in the background saying "oh it's FINE if you want to go, i'll just stay in on my own at home and do nothing. it's fine, go and have fun, I'll just be bored. that's FINE."
How could anyone put up with that?
Obviously my own subplot in their life makes me somewhat biased and makes it just sound like i'm justifying being the lonely beta cuck compared to him, but full disclosure and all that. xx
Things are going really well with lass. We've met up a bunch of times now over the last couple of weeks and I feel really good when I'm with her and all that shit. She's also kinky as fuck and finds my previous exploits interesting and 'brave' :cool:. I might have mentioned that already, I can't remember.
She bombing around the world between July and Christmas which is an absolutely pain in the fucking arse, but we've talked about and said we'll chill a bit while she's away and talk about stuff when she's back. She was worried I'd be wanting to talk to her every day or or something, when tbh I'd probably get fucking bored of that and feel guilty for distracting her from her trip, and besides I've got shit to myself anyway.
But yeah, not getting ahead of myself but I think she's proper lovely and it's looking promising. I feel like I've known her for ages too, which is strange although we've spent a lot of time chatting so maybe not, I don't know. I've got a good feeling though. If we can come out the other side of these five months without any serious shit happening then I reckon we'll be in a very promising position. Bosh.
Bullet dodged Igor. That said, you don't sound like you'd bend over and take it like that other twat.
I can actually hear igor and them freaks from that group photo (who probably have nicknames like 'Paedo Steve' and 'Bum Breath') lmaoing their loudest at that lad whilst wishing they were him.
haha, nah one of them has a really fucking hot girlfriend and the other one has a girlfriend at least as attractive and actually nice as well. and i, errr, i, err, i just like being single alright
there's nothing cooler than being a lone wolf. except at wolf picnics when you cant find a partner for the wolf-wheelbarrow race
We've been decorating the past couple of days. God knows why really as the room was already nice, but she needs to put her stamp on the house or something.
It's going fine, except everything I do seemingly has to be corrected. Just one wall left to paper in the morning.
You didn't tell us you knew Igor, Scouse.
Reading Igor's fiasco does make me quite thankful that our pet hates with each other are relatively petty.
On the rocks a bit with the lass I'm seeing. We're getting along really well and would ideally want to take things further. Problem is she's going travelling from the end of June up until Christmas. We talked last week about how we should deal with it and basically figured out that we could still be together but keep it casual and probably open it up while we were away from each for so long, and then continue things as before once she was back. Cool.
This week though it seems she's had a think and she's now saying that although she really likes me etc we'll have only been going out 6 weeks by the time she leaves, and so she can't promise what she'll want after 5 months of travelling and us not seeing each other that whole time, and so has suggested that we basically become mates while she's away and then have a chat when she comes back. She isn't sure that feelings will stick around and doesn't want to give me false hope in case she feels differently. It basically sounds the same as the agreement above except there's no obligation once she comes back as we'll just need to chat about it then.
I can see her thinking because we've only just started seeing each other and she doesn't want to keep me hanging around just in case. It's still a bit of a kick in the balls to hear it though.
'Had a think.' :sick:
Yeah, it's when someone thinks about something.
Probably for the best hammer. Otherwise you'll spend the entire time wondering if you can trust her and she may well resent you for holding her back.
Give her the freedom and if it's meant to be, it'll restart when she returns. If anything it'll prove that actually you're good for each other if you want to rekindle after 6 months apart.
Not ideal, but best to keep it amicable and not completely fuck a chance of a reunion later.
I think I'd be alright trusting her, but I do think she'd resent the sense of obligation that comes with being together. She sees the trip very much as one of those mid-twenties 'hard reset' type things, where she's leaving her job, the city she lives in etc and will be living back with her parents afterwards, at which point she can think about what she wants to do going forward.
I think you're right in that if it's meant to be, it'll happen. I feel strongly and feel that it's mutual, but she's had this whole thing in the back of her mind the whole time. All we can do is wait and see, and if I meet someone else in the meantime then cool.
It's always gonna be amicable. It was a decent chat we had even though I was clearly a bit gutted as I understood where she was coming from. We're still going to see each other until the end of June and then say our goodbyes.
Never heard it before.
Why would you say 'I'll have a think about it' as opposed to 'I'll think about it.' Because you're a deviant, that's why.
Dunno man, blame 20th century (probably) English folks.
Will do.
Hammer:
Seems like totally the right thing to do. She is going for a trip, she doesn't want to be carrying baggage around. Plus lets be honest, you'll be interested in other women within five minutes of her boarding that plane. If it is meant to be between you two, then it'll work out regardless of whether you commit or not. Likewise the other way around. Any sort of commitment at this point would just cause some remorse in one or in both of you.
In short, play it cool.
You know me, I'm cool as fuck :cool:
Yeah I totally agree.
Hey all,
So I've got a little situation, and I somehow came across this forum. From reading this thread, I'm expecting a load of answers about be cucked which I cannot wait for.
Anyway, to explain a little. Around this time last year I broke up with my long term girlfriend (5 years, which seeing as I was 23 is long term :cool:), and this really shook me up for a while. However, recently I started speaking to and seeing someone who I really really liked. This was the first time since the breakup that I really thought whoaaaa there are actually other girls out there.
Anyway we went for our first date on Saturday, and we got on amazingly. Instant chemistry, conversation was great, and we finished the evening with a kiss. I met her again this Wednesday after work, and again it went great. Chemistry, lots of touching, kissing etc. So we agreed to meet up again next week. However this morning, she dropped me a message saying she had a change in mind about us. She said she thought I was great, and that she really had a great time with me (and I believe she was being genuine), but it just wasn't right. :scratch:
Now obviously I'm disappointed as I really liked her. However, I'm not going to chase her to ask why she's had this change in mind (we went on two dates, she doesn't owe me anything). Nor, am I asking for advice on how to change her mind. If she doesn't want to see me anymore then that is her choice, if she ever changes her mind on that then hey positives. It's not for me to decide that for her. However, what I do want to know is why do you think people change their mind like this?
Looking forwards to the replies.
It's pretty obvious, I think. She likes you, but not enough to carry on seeing you. It's probably not a case of changing her mind, but more than the more she's got to know you, the less interested she's become. It happens with dating.
You're probably right. I'm new to the dating game, so found it strange.
Oh well, back to Tinder I go.
Really fancy this nerdy girl who comes to do the banking for the shop she works at. She's quite flirty in a slightly awkward way, but a few times some guy has been waiting for her outside, who I assumed was her boyfriend. No idea why I approached it this way, but today I just asked "so, that bloke who was waiting outside for you the other day...the long haired guy who looks like he likes to skateboard....who's that then?" and she revealed it was her mate's boyfriend, Possibly the most Mark Corrigan thing I've ever said, but that's pretty promising news. Guess the next step will be to pretend I need to buy some wares they sell at her shop, and then follow her around a bit.
No. Do the racist Romanian.
As above.
I'm considering doing both. Warwickshire hitch.
I like how that was a pretty normal paragraph right up until it went a little bit rapey right at the end.
Romanian girl will have a Romanian father and Romanian Brothers. You will get bench pressed. Marry her and know your place.
Romanian girl is super socially conservative and I've already had her cousin come into the bank and go mental at me because he couldn't deposit a cheque addressed to him and his girlfriend into an account only in his name. I'm already well aware that I might end up with my head kicked in. She's moving to Birmingham and told me I must visit her and stay in her new flat. I always welcome, apparently. Tempted.
+1 for the Romanian.
Lol at Mert setting up aliases to release his inner beta.
So i just spent the past couple hours or however reading from Magic's initial bit with his wife til the end of the thread.
When I first opened the thread, I was looking forward to having a laugh considering Magic's always been a dick to me because I'm a dumbass.
Instead I just feel sad for Magic and depressed otherwise. Relationships are honestly shit, people are shit, and there's no point to any of it is there.
The point is the fucking. And the kids.
:console:
That is sad but simply isn't true. A lot of people pretend to be something they aren't to make a lass happy, but the wraps unveil and the real people come out which just causes arguments. Just always be yourself and never try hard, just be yourself from the get go and I think you're good to go.
Although I do appreciate only been with my better half 6 years so still time will tell.
In other words, play it cool.
You have clearly never seen me.
Just got married, well yesterday if we're being technical.
Toggle Spoiler
edit: not sure if the picture works or if I'm just shit with this new malarky called the Internet.
Can't even get the link right.
http://i.imgur.com/HBIME7p.jpg
Why the bubbles?
Pen :cool: congratulations!
Congrats, Pen :thbup:
Congratulations, Pen.
Pen :cool: congratulations squire
Congratulations. Your kid's going to have a right beak on them.
Congrats Pen, going anywhere fancy for the honeymoon?
Well in Penface.
Thanks everyone. That three-week Balkan trip kind of was the honeymoon. It's back to work on Monday.
The bubbles just look nice. No real other reason Mahow. I think people started using them when theowing rice was banned as it makes the birds explode (slight exaggeration).
The only reason why we had our honeymoon just before the wedding was that we wanted the wedding day to be 16.6 as that was our ten year engagement day. Plus we didn't want to do the Balkan tour during July as that peak season for tourism and it gets too crowded. Also the summer back home is nice to be around for too.
I thought the bubbles were superimposed.
congrats Pen!
She looks stunning and you aren't too bad yourself. Congratulations.
Oooh, you big gay.
Just seen this, top work Pen :hat:
That is a fantastic photo to have on the mantelpiece/under the sauna twigs for the rest of your days.
Congrats, Pen.
On another note, do you ever see someone as the last poster in here and click on the thread wondering if maybe they've found themselves someone nice and think 'ah, that'd be lovely for good old X'?
But then feel a little disappointed cause that's not what happened.
Never, I've enough trouble worrying about myself.
I just wanna see a happy story from Jimmy.
100% no word of a lie thought that exact thing about you before I clicked it.
Come on son.
DS meets some exotic, multimillionaire ladyman from Moss Side who keeps him stocked in Rustlers, Rizla and Xboxes for the rest of his days.
Jimmy meets a Nigerian lawyer who enjoys cricket and is the 4th cousin twice removed of Finidi George. He becomes mates with him and Big G sorts him out with VIP tickets for the AFCON.
GS pulls Theresa May
Michael Gove works better.
Lawyer? Fuck off.
Poet.
You need someone respectable to take home to the folks
Thanks guys :)
Married life still going well after a few days even if the missus still fails to remember her new name.
More tragicness coming up.
So we had very long chats a few times about acceptable boundaries and stuff, or things that hacked us off. One of mine was her constant 'going out' and coming in at like 4am. This happened at:
A wedding we were at, she disappeared to go and meet her friends at 11pm and let me on my own.
A charity quiz night, she invited her friend which I didn't know about when it was supposed to be her and my dad/step-mum, then went out after it. Came in at 4:30am.
And tonight, after her concert which finished at 11pm she was supposed to get picked up by me, because I've got a 6:30am start tomorrow for work (start as in leaving the house) and she knows I don't sleep well when she's out.
She's going out tomorrow as well.
Just a nightmare scenario, am I being controlling? She always does this, every time she goes out anywhere with her cunt friends this is what happens. Did I tell you about the one where she went out 'for lunch' on a Sunday, my Gran treated us to dinner which she didn't show up for, then she text me at 11pm and said she is staying out. I told her to get the fuck home or it's over. She arrived an hour later at 12:30am wasted, had to get a lift in to work and her superiors questioned why it smelt like alcohol at reception.
I don't know what her fucking problem is, to be honest, but it's driving me insane. I've made it clear several times there's nothing wrong with going out, but we're fucking skint, I'm on a very rare stag do this weekend and she's decided to go out twice! What the fuck is going on.
I phoned her and asked her WTF because she's supposed to be looking after my little sister (who is 22 lol), and she text my dad worrying she might not be able to get a taxi and I was supposed to be picking them up. She hung up on me, then called me back shouting saying it hadn't been discussed etc. I told her to do whatever makes her happy, so she chose to go out and asked me to bring her a pair of shoes lol!
I went down to my dad's and asked them if I could stay there, but decided against it. My dad kindly volunteered to go down and pick my sister up and drop her shoes off, I will put my phone on aeroplane mode and hopefully I can get some sleep. I am so tempted to get coked up to fuck on Satdi night and drown myself in a whore but I know that's incorrect behaviour. I am being torn apart again and I don't know what to do. I am dreading what might happen to my daughter or how the wife might behave if we do get divorced, she's got a proper nasty streak in her which concerns me.
Also this has shat on my studying, can't concentrate with a fuzz mind and my exam is booked for the end of July. Great! Fucking great.
EDIT: LOL her bitch friend (the one who is married to a convicted pupil fucker and who got blackmailed in to staying because she purposely got pregnant) just text me saying 'We're going to a club hope that's ok don't want to cause any problems'.
Aeroplane mode earlier than anticipated. Go on, enjoy this misery. I warn you all now, do NOT have children with a cunt.
Get out lad, it's the only answer at this stage. She seems off the fucking rails to be honest.
I know mate, get out to what though is my worry. There's loads of 'best thing I ever did!' and 'I can enjoy life again!' but those wonderful magazine articles don't take in to account that for every one of those there are a thousand people living in anxiety, fear, doubt. What a negative cunt I am being but this is the only reality I can see.
Then some other cunt raising my daughter, makes me fucking ill!
Sorry MJ that's rough.
MAybe she does it at this point to get a rise out of you? Maybe a counter-act would be to just act like nothing is amiss?
When she rolls in at 430 don't even bother mentioning it. When she says she wants to go out just say "ok".
Be zen as the calmest ocean you can imagine. Maybe she's using your rightful anger as her excuse to get plastered drunk.
If you just basically ignore her antics maybe she'll have a hard look in the mirror and realize she's a bit of a cunt and sort her fucking life out.
Either way, I mean idk what else you can do bub.
It sounds like she wants to maximise her time away from you. I don't mean 'lol at you' by that, but it makes sense if everything is as TENSE as your posts suggest it is.
You can hardly be called on being negative, she sounds a nightmare from what you've said. God knows where itll end up if it's got to the stage where she's rocking up to work reeking of gargle.
On the kid thing, I can't say really. Can't imagine it's not gut wrenching but I've never any experience of it. If you do split it sounds like the little one will need you to be stable at least though as she may not get it from the other side.
Get out. Hopefully you'll find that you both weren't happy and were bringing out the worst parts of each other and once your apart you can both put your daughter first.
If not then it's going to be rough either way so just try to think of the long term.
It's shit, sorry to hear about it but good luck whatever you decide.
I'm not saying you should encourage her but ...
If she keeps showing up to work drunk as fuck wouldn't that be helpful in a pending custody battle?
I realize we're headed to the darkest timeline here but ... again...
Actually, trying what Bruh says might not be a bad idea if you can. Might draw out the reasons, or bring it to a head at the very least.
Getting coked up will mean you won't be nailing a whore to be fair.
Have you been documenting her behaviour properly? That might be worthwhile at this stage, if only in case the worst comes to the worst.
What are the timescales for the events you mentioned? If that's over 2 years, then I don't see the problem. If it's in the last few months then yeah, fair enough, she's a twat.
Fucking hell, I feel for you. If it's a one-off then fine, but she's just being an arsehole at this point. Have you ever looked into a lawyer and got some advice on the possible criteria required to get custody? Her being off the rails like this must be in your favour if you're keeping track of it.
She's cheating on you. It might not be anything 'meaningful', but it's happening in club bathrooms / dancefloors with regularity.
My advice is the same as it was months ago when this first came up: talk to a lawyer, get advice as to how to best position yourself to maximize your control of the assets / access to your daughter, quietly implement said advice, and get divorced.*
*Bonus Option: GTFO of where you are living, bartend and play music at a holiday resort location for a few months / years until you get your head screwed on straight, and try life again.
:D
He has a young daughter who he is obsessed with. I don't think he can just turn up in Magaluff and start going at it Tim Westwood style.
Would the wife even want custody by herself? Because in all this I don't see where she seems to fit your daughter into the equation, Magic.
Then I suppose she kind of sounds like she might do that our of spite anyway and then offload your daughter to her parents, so best follow GS' advice.
I also believe Bruhnaldos advice might be the best at this point.
Have to agree with Mert here she has already cheated. There is no happy ending just a less shit one unfortunately. Take your daughter and run.
I've told you before to start taking legal advice. Hurry the fuck up and get lawyered up.
She's going to stay with her mum for a bit apparently.
Also got more info I'll tell later.
I also have to agree with Mert here she probably has cheated and it's more than likely her cunty mate who is encouraging her. The best option is getting legal advice quietly while, if you can, keeping a level head and just monitor her behaviour.
Tell us now, you tease.
Or relay the patio.
I'm staying away this weekend on a stag do.
As has been said, you have to start documenting her behaviour. And you sure as fuck need legal advice. If shit is going to go the way of the pear, then you need to be prepared and hope that she isn't.
Think I'd scarily agree with Mert that she's probably been nailing someone else.
I think it's a slippery slope when you start having separate lives with your partner. Now and again it's okay but often would suggest you're living different lives and don't want to share time together.
I'd get or advice and work out how you can still see your daughter. Find someone who has respect for you rather than treating you like a parent and she's a rebellious teenager.
What's the other info @Magic?!
Still nothing. What a fanny.
Put on Jeremy Kyle or something Ffs
Shut up you cunt I've been working all day, a concept utterly foreign to yourself so I will let you off.
I found out her cunt mate tried to convince her to go out, and when I protested on the phone she apparently spent the next 2 hours ripping in to me, calling me a cunt, a loser, worthless, she should find someone else etc. My sister heard all this and when my dad picked them up cuntfriend had a meltdown and was screaming at my dad to let her out and calling my sister a cunt too. :lol:
It's nice to know she has such a well informed opinion of me, despite me being only nice to her in person. :sherlock:
Fuck them both. I've spent the day contemplating, she obviously wants a different life to the one she has, she's clearly ostracised me from her friends and rips me up to all and sundry. Anyway now I know that bitch's true feelings she will never, ever set foot in my house or my car or anything ever again. :)
Anyway really not sure what to do lads...I'm occassionally upset at her ludicrious behavior and she says she's upset and MISERABLE all the time. If it's that bad why is she still here? She's playing me, I think. I've ignored her all day. Hopefully she does fuck off to her mum's.
Why is your wife's friend so against you?
To answer the 'CHEATING' claims, I'm not so sure. When would she ever cheat?
All the times she's out till stupid o'clock in the morning?
P.S. I was also at work all day. Post when you're on the bog ffs.
My step-mum went up today to see her and she says she still wants to be together (fucking lol) and she has offered to be a mediator in any talks.
She went to see her mum as well, who for all her annoyingness is actually level headed and also is aggrieved at some of the shit her daughter pulls.
Sense won't prevail though, think it's just a case of different paths tbh.
I can't see it, despite her behaviour being disrespectful and highly irritating there's nothing to suggest cheating? She'll come steamrolling in with chips and cheese. Maybe that's a ruse. So I guess the only thing is fucking in the disabled toilets or fingering on the dancefloor? It's possible I guess, you'd have to be a fool to rule anything out. #loltrust
And did you ever look into counselling yet? Fuck your stupid keeping up with the joneses house improvements and get on that if you both do actually still want to try to make it work.
Doesn't sound like she'd care tbh.
Well I guess it's easy to make assertions when you're only getting a pretty poorly limited side of a story.
From what I've seen, I don't think she is cheating or has cheated. But then again, don't they all say that.
It's a fairly common jump from being an arse = immediately having an affair, hell even I sometimes think that and sometimes it turns out to be true. Fuck knows, regardless, I don't think I'll ever find out if she has.
"When does she have the time?" It's a sport fuck, MJ, not 50 shades of grey.
It depends how you define "cheating", I suppose.
Have you noticed her not wearing her engagement ring and / or wedding ring at any time, particularly when she's staggered in in the small hours?
Listen, you married a child. Not in the sense of her paedo husband having friend, but in the sense of mentality.
She was pissy because you "weren't giving her proper attention" and then she started getting dick pics in her phone.
She was pissy that you found that out so she started going out til all fucking hours.
You have to continue to ignore this behavior. Treat it as "normal". Make her feel as if you've accepted the fact she is a psychopathic fuck-up with no redeemable qualities. Like a child, they will eventually stop throwing their toys around and beg for your forgiveness and acceptance.
Either that, or she'll continue to escalate her shite behavior until she's locked in a mental ward. In that case you'd win even more. You have your daughter, sole custody, and not a penny (pence?) to pay her.
God I'm just looking at articles about divorce for 5-8 year olds and all of them have pictures of desperately sad kids. :(
But you have to wonder how detrimental it would be for your daughter if you and 'the wife' stay together.
It's not an easy choice to make.
For the love of God stop. That's not helping you. Stop thinking about your daughter in THAT way. Your daughter will be 70000x happier once you sort this shit out.
That doesn't mean she doesn't have to have her mom in her life but having her mom out getting piss drunk flirting with every swinging dick at the nightclub isn't going to do much for her self-esteem in the future. She's going to think this is acceptable behavior.
You think she likes watching her dad basically bend over backwards to accommodate her shitty fucked up behavior? You think this is the positive male role model she needs in her development?
She needs a man who is going to stand up for himself and sort his fucking life out. She may not understand now, she will certainly be sad, but when she gets older and starts understanding the world she will understand you did exactly what you had to do.
Enough with the fucking excuses MJ. Take your hand, put it down the front of your trousers, grab your nuts and realize you're a fucking man and not some little bitch who can't survive without this cunt in your life.
Fuck all your little self-help books, fuck all your little tapes, believe in yourself because I, a person who has fantasized about reaching thru the internet and slapping the fuck out of you, believes in you. As does many of the other boys on here.
Enough!
Do not falter in your resolve. Your goal now is custody. The cunt has been doing this type of shit to you literally for years. Enough.
I can't even enjoy your misery because of how much of a cunt this woman is. I want you to win so bad at this point that it fucking sickens me.
Win, MJ, win. You can do this. Beat her at her own childish game.
Be the fucking master of zen. Go about your daily life completely normal. When she says "Oh I'm fucking off with the girls tonight" Say "Ok." and hang up the phone.
Do not argue, do not make it seem as if it matters to you in the slightest. Say no off-hand remarks. Give her no ammunition to run to her dipshit cunt friends and say "Oh and then he said HAVE FUN can you believe that?!" "Ahh you deserve much better (Cuntbitch A)! So much better! He's just so awful!"
If she can't run and complain about your wanting her to act like a normal human being, her friends will eventually realize she's a batshit crazy psycho and slowly phase her out of their friend circle. People who act like this are immature children and need to be dealt their own medicine.
Wake the fuck up, my boy.
Fuck all that shit. It's a perfectly logical choice. Sometimes people aren't compatible. You got a beautiful daughter out the deal.
Stop acting like you have to suffer because somehow your daughter isn't going to get on if her dad mans the fuck up.
It's not as if you're walking out on her, it's not as if you're leaving them high and dry. You're (going to be) doing all of this for the sake of your daughter, not yourself.
All of those goofy divorce books, statistics, generally made up from men who are too pussy to stand up for themselves and just fuck off in the middle of the night. "Gonna go get a pack of cigarettes" to never return for 18 years types.
You're not one of those cowards. The fact you haven't shut up shop after all of these years like those cunts have shows what kinda person you actually are.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF YOU FUCK. *kicks nearby trash bin in anger*
Bruh :cool:
Why not just do what Mert said and take your daughter with you? Win/win.
He's right.
Not Lewis. That might be kidnap.
2 words. Chris Banoit.
For what it's worth, I'm VERY glad my parents got divorced rather than staying together 'for the kids'.
It was absolutely fucking horrible when they used to argue every night and it wasn't even shouting and screaming, they'd just shut themselves away to talk for hours on end.
I really don't think it 'damaged' me (yeah yeah lololol husk of a man) in the long run.
His name was Chris Banoit Benoit?
My dad was an alcoholic that finally succeeded in drinking himself to death when I was 11. I had to watch my mum spiral in to debt and eventually lose our house. I was then raised in a council flat. It was shit, but she did her best and regardless of everything I grew up to be a functioning member of society. Parents splitting up is shit, but it isn't uncommon and it isn't the end of the world. At the end of the day, she will have 2 parents that love her even if they don't live together.
Do what you need to do, don't stay in a loveless and bitter relationship because of your daughter. 2 unhappy parents in a relationship is far worse than 2 single, but happy parents.
My parents split when I was 5.
I feel that the split was completely the right decision and it would have been far worse had they stayed together. What fucked me up though was my Dad getting drunk when I'd stay at his house on Saturday and just speaking so much shit about my Mum. He'd even continue talking bollocks (he told me a few times that my Mum put glass in a sandwich for my older half brother once) whilst I was trying to sleep too.
I'd say split MJ but be prepared to be reasonable and fair with the wife so that it doesn't hurt the kid who, obviously, loves you both.
My parents divorced when I was 16, my mam was expecting me to live with her as she'd get money due to my disability but I know she cheated with some absolute wanker of a man (who has a forehead like a fucking Klingon) so I chose my dad. Broke her heart for a while lol. She's still with cuntstain, goes nowhere, doesn't have much of a life, whilst my dad and his missus have three holidays a year and lead good lives. I love me mam but by fuck did she mess it all up. Bought his patter about having his own business, his own home. Turned out he worked for his brother cash in hand and lived in his son's flat.
Didn't bother me one bit, the split, as I was old enough to deal with it.
My parents have been married for 40 odd years but I'm sure you guys will be fine too.
Tbf Spikey's head is fucking laughably small so its technically 0%
In fairness, as cunty as that was I was only joking. You're all good and the point stands that an unhappy marriage is worse than the alternative.
Unless the alternative is 'Benoit'.
This is bollocks.
If I had lots of money and didn't mind shitting on my wife I'd happily be out every weekend, possibly even Friday and Saturday, assuming I had people to go with. But just because I'm out "in da club" or having a few drinks, it doesn't mean I'm scouting round a dirty dancefloor looking to finger some randomer. Just because she's out til 4am regularly doesn't mean she's cheating on him.
I think it's irrelevant. The lad needs to get out either way.
Sorry for your shit situation, Magic. :(
She's psychologically making herself out to be a victim to justify her cheating to deal with the resentment she irrationally feels towards you because of the guilt she is experiencing due to her behavior. This is text book female behavior.
Get. A. Lawyer.
This is over.
Lawyer up doesn't really apply in Scotland. We've not got horrific rules here. I'd pay maintenance according to CSA and we'd split everything down the middle.
Translation: about 30k equity in house so 15k each plus 300 a month maintenance.
My fear is my little un end up on some shit council estate fuk of cunts
Let her have custody then.
Mert's pitching for work in this thread. Amazing.
Surely, if you're going to split, the sooner the better for the kid? In the sense that she'll have more time to adjust to it at all. I can see your relationship surviving for a while longer, but she's what, six? Like fuck are you two going to last twelve more years together.
Actually, don't most people in this situation just have another kid (just as they have them in the first place to paper over the cracks)? Try that.
He'd probably do better with Mert as a lawyer, as he'd end up fucking the wife and be able to present her adultery to the court.
I know what you're saying about there not being cheating MJ but I would suggest there is definitely cheating. If only because I have been the facilitator in that scenario with someone else's wife. I always believe personally anyone staying out until the end of the night is looking for something, as the end of the night is usually full of desperate cases who couldn't pull earlier. When you're happy in your relationship or just sexually fulfilled staying in a club until the lights come up doesn't seem like the best option.
As for time and opportunity I've known woman take one man out of a pub for a shag and then come back to get blitzed by a second unaware man. I personally have been piped off behind a working man's club by the aforementioned wife before the strike of midnight (she did have a thing for risky sex though). I've known girls who've gone off the rails getting double teamed in alleys behind pubs. In fact I think I posted in here about the time I shagged a woman dressed as pirate while I was dressed as a cowboy in a backstreet whilst on a pub crawl.
Trust me mate, if she wants it, they will come. I am not saying this to hurt you, I'm giving you the horrible reality so you can use that information to make the best decision for you and your daughter.
I remember a female friend of mine telling me how on a girls night in her chav mate was talking about how she met another lad on holiday (she was married with kids). When asked if she had cheated she said 'no, I just sucked him off and let him cum on my face'.
It's natural for a beta to feel uncomfortable and nauseous in the presence of a superior alpha, Merty.
Yes but you can generally tell that type.
Whether she's cheated or not isn't even the issue here. What you do know is that she seems to want to spend as much time as she can away from you (with a friend that hates you) doing something that shes knows pisses you off.
It's like you're both pussyfooting around divorce, really. Like one's hoping the other will pull the trigger to look like the aggressor. If you fellas want to separate, get it over with.
I don't really understand the concept that she hasn't the time. It takes a second to snog someone on a dance floor (unless that's not cheating).
Tbh I do have a good deal of respect for you, you're doing reasonably with the hand you've been dealt in fairness, and I think you and Smitty come closest to 'getting' female psychology out of anyone on the board. You just kinda disgust me with your 'I'm a gross guy who does alright with provincial lower middle class British slags' ways; it encompasses a pretty dark/grimy demographic.
As a turkish immigrant considering living in the arsehole of the US you should have a good perspective of the dark and grimy demographic.
Do people still say snog then?
Who gets more women's mert or lofty?
Mahow.
It's hard to give advice on MJ's love life. He's quite clearly IMO a decent guy who just wants best for his kids and his family. But at the same time he's basically become a fucking pussy with no self respect. I mean, if I have to say anything it would be leave, try get your head together and see where it takes you. Good luck in whatever you decide to do :).
I was gonna chronicle my tinder sexscapades but MJ's crises are making me feel it would be inappropriate. @Magic :( .
Lighten the mood little coin.
Do it, Igor.
"I used to have a beard but now I look about 12."
"I love kids."
<sex happens>
I'm probably on point, right?
Was that a joke, let me check my TTH popularity metre. No, it wasn't.
:happycry:
OH GO ON THEN.
Well, I was seeing the tinder girl I mentioned in this thread a few weeks ago. As time went on it became more obvious she was fucking mental. Fit, like, but mental. Very weird mood swings. At one point she texted me at 7am and I didn't get a chance to reply in the day because I was at work. Got home to an essay of a text saying basically WELL IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME ANYMORE JUST SAY DON'T MESS ME AROUND I'D RATHER YOU JUST BE HONEST OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT etc etc. I was just like woah chill out mate, I was at work lol. But if you're gonna flip out like that maybe we shouldn't be seeing each other, I'm not in the market for anything serious.
She was a bit grumpy and said "THIS IS WHY I HATE BOYS, I don't even WANT a serious relationship, I've got myself a fun holiday booked and that's my number one priority, I met you swiping on an app, obviously I'm not after a serious relationship". Yeah, alright then, whatever.
Continued to see her even though I knew deep down it was doomed. Because she was fit. We made plans for her to visit me in R-town, and as I was walking to the train station she told me her train was massively delayed and she was gonna be 30 minutes+ late.
"ah don't worry! i'll just listen to the cricket (champions trophy final) on my headphones to keep myself occupied"
"WELL IF YOU'D RATHER JUST WATCH THE CRICKET I'LL GET ON ANOTHER TRAIN AND GO HOME OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T CA...etc etc"
Fucking hell, what a lunatic. Anyways, I took her to a couple of pubs, back to my house, we had sex (sod's law - considering she's a fucking headcase I couldn't be in a relationship with - it was fucking AMAZING), and then she left.
We had a bit of a chat on fb messenger on the Monday that fizzled out, and on Wednesday she messaged me saying "I think we're both agreed that we shouldn't see each other anymore", which I assume was another installment of insecure fishing, hoping I'd be all "ohhh soorry i didn't reply quickly!! i still wanna see you!!", but I instead went with the far more honest, possibly bluff-calling "yeah I think you're probably right".
Shame because she was super hot but what a fucking lunatic.
Lol this is my life now too. Trying to slow-fade because it's clearly not sustainable and she's freaking me out. The other day she got black out drunk and told me she wanted to have my babies and begged me to come inside of her. Flattering, but holy fuck need to eject ASAP.
Very real. 20-year old blonde cheerleader from a D1 school in the DC area, face is alright but hot damn that body is instagram model levels. I'm safe now in Belgium and I've convinced her my phone is broken and I have no service, so I haven't been talking to her now for a few days. Hopefully she'll have calmed down and/or some other guy will have swooped her up in the meantime.
Just go back to the racist Romanian, Igor.
She's perfect.
Igor getting some action before the inevitable split. Top work.
Lol some slut came up to me tonight and said she'd lost her friend. He looked like me and she'd found him now. I almost lol'd but bottled it and told her I was married. Tbf she wasn't someone you could do without protection but well worth a go. For shame.
Mert's right, all your relationship needs is an affair and it'll be fine.
Mert talks about women like they're Ikea furniture.
They're all the same. They want a good hammering. OI OI!!!!
Fair play MJ. No point stooping to her level at this stage. Everything's too in the balance and it'd eat you up.
You nail the cardboard backing of many units on tyvm.
I would have said they like a good screwing but they don't really have screws. It's all Allen Key based locking mechanisms and @Lewis chased Alan off the forum so I can't even do anything with that. Fuck sake.
Lol she was going to leave this morning so when I got in there would be nobody there. Lovely. My step-mum talked her out of it apparently.
She phoned this morning at like 8am and I didn't answer so she took that as not wanting to speak to my daughter, not still sleeping after being on the lash all day.
Sigh. Just phoned there and she's all upset. What a mess.
Have you considered telling her to stop being a dramatic cunt?
Let the cunt be upset. She can't lay this on you.
Stay with her, mate. Think of the board.
Will this be the first TTH divorce? MJ breaking new ground.
Magic, I genuinely can't believe that you still think she hasn't cheated on you. Ignoring the late nights out at bars, the kickboxer incident alone is proof that she's acting out.
Try typing out the series of events as if they're happening to someone else and see what conclusion you come to.
when, for the first time in your life, you've found someone who's on the same wavelength as you and everything just goes *click*
and you've never felt better in your entire life, never been at ease with someone like this
and then he lives a big ass ocean away :(
What's up bbe?x
Wait Lofty is back?
Guilty. Sentencing end of the month. Anything from 3-7 years.
Have I missed a Mellin post?
We're happy with it mate. Just glad it's over, he's going to suffer and she's been vindicated. Been a tough 18 months.
It's quite a big deal to even get a conviction, isn't it?
Glad you got it and I hope you're both doing well.
I've definitely missed something here. Page number?
FFS phonics. Connect the dots will you.
We're both well, thanks, Boydy. I feel back to myself and think she does as well, this week aside. She's been admirably strong and was incredible during her testimony.
Indeed, I've no idea what's happening here.
Said goodbye to lass I'm seeing. She's off travelling around the world for 5 months. I've got a mate in the Philippines who I'm going to ask to follow her around the whole time to make sure she doesn't talk to any other blokes, but when she's elsewhere I just can't be sure that it's only women she's talking to at all times. It's hard.
...I've got shit to get on with for the next five months so we'll wait and see until she gets back. I'm keeping it cool though. We've both said we'll take a step back from the relationship and allow ourselves to enjoy ourselves properly, and then just see where we're at when she's back.
I feel quite embarrassed about my shit now but anyway, we've decided to stay together again. I really was holding back, told her it was up to her if she wanted to leave, but I felt like she was almost luring me in to saying ok I think you should go. No idea. Anyway I'm very hesitant. I told her last night does she expect me to put rose petals on the bed and roll out the red carpet that same fucking night? No chance. This will take time. I made effort to e-mail her and she's come back saying she feels sick and anxious and that she feels I am not telling the truth about how I feel. That's true, to an extent, but telling her to fuck off isn't really appropriate and wouldn't help things. As a stoic, I need to reason and make a well informed decision, rather than an off the cuff one.
'as a stoic'
:D
What's this stuff with Mellin?
I'm stumped and never liked connecting dots.
Half of us have missed the crucial dot is what's happened.
How dare you all be confused. How dare you.
Magic, it seems like the only way you will leave her is if you come home and another man is asleep in your bed, but judging by this thread, it sounds like all you would do is tuck him in.
My best friend and I have gotten involved with twins. God help us all.
Link.
Play swapsies.
I cannot give an accurate accounting of my total regarding women as I was in various states of inebriation for a lot of it and it depends what we're counting: a bit of fingering and cumming on the tits? Dick in the mouth but nothing else? It's hard to quantify.
A year and a half ago I predicted that Girl would end up going out with her (relatively new) porko (girl) friend. This prediction was based on the porko being extremely influential in the demise of our relationship and her having no hope in finding a boyfriend due to shagging 200 boys by 18 (reputations last a very long time in Jersey), plus Girl being a lesbian before she met me. I could sense there was some form of emotional blackmail too, but at the same time felt I may just be looking into things too much. However, you can only imagine the mental issues attached to somebody who works their way through that many blokes (unsurprisingly she didn't know her father). Anyway, when I told Girl about my prediction she laughed and said it'd never happen. Tonight I was chatting to Girl because her bearded dragon died and I thought I'd ask if she was going out with the porko yet (my mate said he saw her holding hands with a girl). She is indeed now going out with the porko. Whilst it's rather funny, I'm slightly worried. The porko made up lies about me whilst I was with Girl, got Girl into regular drug use (speed of all things) and was already very controlling. I didn't want to get into it with her tonight because ultimately I'm not in a position to comment anymore, but ffs. I can only hope the porko has changed now that she's got what she was looking for, but Girl is too nice and too naive for this.
I assume the general advice is to stay out of it?
I think being the ex boyfriend your advice no matter how caring it may be will be tainted. Sorry mate.
Aye, plus I imagine the porko has already set up several lines of defence for this exact scenario.
I wouldn't worry about it, Offy. If the posioning was going on while you were together then you'd be compelled to step in but I'd steer clear, personally. She may be naive, but people have to run their own lives at some point. Like you said, the other girl has probably got all the excuses and defenses in early doors to stop any involvement from you. Probably not worth the hassle.
I want to know more about her 'bearded dragon'.
As if a woman could resist him.
If you're 28 would you date an 18 year old if she's "like super mature tho"?
No, because she won't be.
The age difference will come into play at some stage so don't bother if you're looking for something long term.
What if you just started acting more immature?
Yeaaaaaa I thought the same thing but my other friends are all "oh you big fag herp derp you better hit that shit bro!" so I figured I'd ask my internet friends.
Hit that shit bro
420 blaze it.
Smack her senseless, breh
Tell her her pet is a woman
Take her out for a nice dinner and hold her hand :)
That would be swell :drool:
Don't use the word swell you square
BrooNaldo ur in need of all the puss you can get
Play it cool.
I'd fuck her but not go out with her.
Why not buy her some flowers? The thought will go a long way.
Be better off buying her a skipping rope the fucking nonce.
Cool.
A girl in my grade (so she's 19) has been going out with a guy who must be 27 now for at least two or three years. They seem to make it work, though the difference is slightly less.
Show her your bearded dragon at the very least
Here I thought I was going to get decent advice on the subject.
I know a guy in his mid thirties who's going out with a girl of twenty one. Nothing particularly wrong about the age gap, but he's friendly with her dad and had been going to his house to watch Celtic games for years, so he's known her since she was a child. Properly creepy.
Oh ya fuck that I just met her at college. I'm going back to finish, she's just starting...ended up in the same class.
Ya I don't know.
At the age of 18 10 years is a big deal to me. It's less of a gap than the noncey 20 year old blokes that date the 15 year olds in their last year of school. She's a kid, especially in your country.
Rob Kardashian is having the meltdown of all meltdowns on Twitter right now. Blac Chyna nudes been posted and everything. Brutal.
I've heard that the only thing that brings that family together is lolling at what Magic posts in here.
I'm too busy with this place.
Virginia?
The bearded dragon was a bit shit, truth be told. There were plenty of nights where it didn't eat all the crickets it was fed so they'd chirp all night, which meant I'd have to wake Girl up to kill them. #tbt
Why couldn't you kill them yourself?
He's not a monster
Aye, that's quite clearly not my job.
Hey Mert mate how old is your sister?
It's a damn shame she's not going to McGill.
Mert she is going to get whole reams of frat boys chucking it up her and may well end up turning to more experienced lads to show her the ropes as well. You won't be fucking anyone up as your all mouth so pipe down. Look in the mirror, put your hand to your neck and grasp around a bit. You should find a crank. Got it? Good now turn it and wind your neck in.
I like John.
@Mert My point is how about we treat young females in a way in which we would like our sisters to be treated.
Probably not gonna happen though. :(
I like John. He's an awful cunt, but I like him.
Can we just make note of mert describing a sibling as "glowing with fertility."
What kind of Fritzl fuck dungeon do you live in?
John is a babe. He just comes across as aggressive because that's what Glaswegians do.
Mert is Alpha as fuck so you can guarantee he's fucked the fertility right out of his sister.
Ah. Still, why describe a young adult like that, mert? When I saw the 18 year old next door I just thought, "Too young." I don't sit there thinking about the raw, biological possibilities. At some age, you just see them as children. 28 is usually that age.
Half + 7.
Bang on.
I like John too, less fond of a 'new' member joining and immediately throwing apeshit insults around at any opportunity.
Horace comes across a nonce tbh
Goodbye sweet prince :(
Shame to lose the farm smart perspective.
Chill out Horace.
NO YOU CALM DOWN.
lower case text
I can't think of any reg-based puns.
08:01AM
It was a needless, wanker comment by John to set him off there, but if he's going to get furious about it then the place probably isn't for him.
Play it cool hammer.
An obvious re-reg, but who?
Smiffy.
What a tart
But his story seemed such a likely one?
Well he hadn't descended into swivel-eyed racism so I guess it has to be Smiff. That little exile didn't last long did it, I for one am shocked.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the moderators frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were horaced and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mert's by eternal right.
Took John's soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
Spikey touched my heart Hammer touched my soul.
They changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was horaced by you.
Goodbye my Horace.
Goodbye my forum.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a horacer but when I wake,
You can't ban my account - it's my posts you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you rage, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you seething for a while.
I know your posts and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my Horace.
Goodbye my forum.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so horace, baby, I'm so horace.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so horace.
Cool. Anyway looking forward to the next one Bish. Shame you're so one dimensional.
In fairness, that's a much better attempt than anything Harold has made.
Also 'Sexual Horacement' was quals bants.
I might have made an error. There was this bird I was involved with for about a fortnight in my first year of sixth form, but she was a bit weird and I decided against it so broke things off, but in a pretty immature and unpleasant way. I'm not sure exactly, but I think i just started ignoring her texts or something.
I've done loads of awkward bumping into to her over the last 5 years and felt bad about it, so started chatting to her on fb and we sorta made peace and stuff. Been getting on reasonably well and she invited me round for dinner. I got really trashed in Sheffield a few weeks ago and sent her a drunken message saying something like "yea i'll come round but just to let you know this ISN'T romantic i'm not like seeing it as a date i'm single and enjoying being single so don't get the wrong impression". Bit cringe the day after but probably not a bad idea.
Anyway, I went round for dinner on Tuesday. It was biryani, and a pretty delicious one at that. She was already a bit tipsy and clearly very nervous when I arrived, and as she drank more wine she got more and more flirty. In the end I was quite drunk too and just went "FUCK IT WHY NOT" (not internally, I actually said that) and we had sex. Even during the meal she asked about my "tinder bitches" and I told her quite honestly about the dates I have lined up, so I figured she understood I hadn't changed my mind, but was just happy for a bit of no strings debauchery. I'm just hoping she hasn't gotten her hopes up because the awkward bumping into each other would be much worse if I break her heart for the 2nd time after making an effort to apologise for the 1st time. Ah well, I don't think I've done anything wrong.
When is the wedding?
How this ends:
https://i.amz.mshcdn.com/X1f2_8I3At5...rtFlamingo.gif
Lass has fucked off for the five months, left a week ago. We've been in touch a lot (I've taken her lead on it and she's been contacting often) but she went into Russia yesterday morning and I've not heard from her since.
She's probably just homesick. When she gets used to it and her life gets more interesting the contact will probably be less and less, if at all.
Is there an 'arrangement' at all, Hammer? I'm just wondering about other people - what happens if you meet someone else, for example?
Thought you cried off here for being called a try hard?
Does this mean Haystacks has stopped now?
The only two members with catchphrases. :sherlock:
About to meet my date for the evening. Ahhh we get on really well and she's really fit wish me luck lads xx
Rip.
So Magic whose your wife fucking this week?
Magic's been calling me cancer for like a year straight. I haven't a single fuck to give.
Terminal. :yn:
Be a dick to someone who literally wrote essays trying to help you and then act surprised when they stop being nice.
I think you're all gonna love the new 'bruh' very much.
It's all fun and games until someone goes too far and someone's feelings get hurt. Just apologise. This is a mans marriage we're talking about.
You can see why they have so many workplace massacres.
I really feel like @bruhnaldo needs to apologise. So rude.
If this is what cultural advancement gets you I say we start burning the books.
it went well. i've known her for about 3 years and fancied her the whole time, and after a few drinks she told me she'd always fancied me. slightly annoyed i never made a move when i first knew her cus i just assumed there was no chance. stating the obvious, but low self-esteem can really make you self-sabotagingly stupid.
i told her i had work today but she said that her plan for the evening was to take me home and i didn't take much convincing. she's really cool and very dirty. yay.
i think possibly the best thing about my recent unprecedented sexual success (i've doubled the number of girls i've shagged in 2017 alone) is that i really don't fear rejection in the way i used to. i asked out this bird a few weeks ago when i was about 90% sure she would say no, and she did say no, and it was fine. whereas in the past i'd still be terrified when it was pretty obvious a girl liked me.
Why is that? Something specific happen or is it a feature of hitting rock bottom?
I don't know where I am. Everything is "fine", But it's 12 weeks before I become a dad. Am I ready? Pfobably not. Have her tits got fucking massive, yes. Am I sucking them, nope.
with the exception of 10 minutes of attempting to put my largely flaccid cock into an obese australian woman whilst totally wankered i didn't have sex between September 2013 and September 2016, so that covers the rock bottom bit. i spent most of 2016 pining after this really fit female friend, to the point i told a load of my mates on holiday in brighton whilst a bit pissed (they're also mates with her) that i was just going to tell her i really fancied her and see what happened, if only to put myself out of my misery and move on. to the surprise of my mates i actually did it, and to everyone's surprise including my own she told me she felt the same way. that definitely helped a lot, and i dread to think what would have happened if she told me to fuck off.
other than that i guess losing a lot of weight and having a relatively stable job for the first time ever and once i snogged a couple of sexy ladies i was off and running. it probably helps that i'm a disgusting pervert at heart with a very broad taste in women.
Has anyone drank the mother to be tit's milk? Were you wanking when you did it?
I think I'd happily drink that shit, but she isn't in the mood right now. If you hadn't guessed.
I drank my mom's milk when she was preggo with my sister...
Interesting board we all frequent, really.
Joe :wave:
Can we stop referring to women as 'females'?
You're a strange guy, aren't you?
Yeah, that's just fucking sad.
Got made fun of in another thread so felt the need to kick out at someone else. Embarrassing.
Fuck Magic and fuck you too lol idc
Wow, so edgy.
Edgy is going around calling a guy who spent a solid hour trying to type out positive, morale boosting life advice "cancer" because of some weirdo grudge on an internet forum or a slight difference of opinion elsewhere.
Looketh my field in which i grow my fucks
As you can see it is absolutely fuckin barren
You quite clearly do give a fuck seeing as you're still whining about it.
In other news, Samadini's only gone and got fucking engaged.
Seriously worried about my lack of life achievements at this point.
Yeah, I care so little I'm going to take every post to heart and rant about it endlessly. Storming off again would probably convince us all you're really serious about not caring.
I love how it always turns into "oh it's just jokes don't take it to heart there's no grudgeeeee" as soon as people get called on their shit.
Piss up a rope my boy it's nothing to me. Talk shit to me but you haven't even farted in the direction of the guy who sent your misses his johnson lol
:D
Jesus Christ you really are on the ropes.
Don't have another bruhkdown, man.
What is happening?
I don't really know. Bruh isn't responding to everything with snark and everyone's rounding on him.
He's put in a couple of comments that aren't great himself. I say we exterminate everyone.
The seetheometer is off the scale.
WhatsApp cunts.
Take that slander back, I am not in no WhatsApp. We went to uni together so we're friends on FB and I saw the picture.
FB cunts.
IRL friend having cunts.
Uni friend cunts
Cunts.
Actually lol'd :D
Getting weird now. Bring back Wedge.
She's gone.
And no Mert I'm not moving to the Caribbean to be a cocktail maker.
What happened?
Chucked out? Gone to Mums? Big row? Kickboxer?
Shit.
You okay?
Maybe the question we should be asking is: is she? :serious:
I know it's not the time for humour but I'd just like to point out that this is page 69, Nice.
Sad news man.
I reckon she's under the patio.
It was inevitable, and a long time coming judging by your posts in here. Probably doesn't feel like it right now, but it really is for the best.*
*Assuming you haven't murdered her.
Seriously, someone check on him.
Lewis has the strongest venn diagram of unemployed/lack of empathy for lols. I vote he goes.
No punchline. I'm trying to work things out financially at the moment.
Sad to hear it Magic, but you'll be fine and probably happier in the long run.
Yeah I'm fine, it's like a normal day tbh I guess it'll sink in after a couple of weeks. I have nowhere to move out to that is free, my mum and dad both have partners so fuck that.
I think she'll move back in here after a week or so at her mums, and I'll have to either sleep on the sofa or move out to rented accommodation, but still pay the mortgage. It's tied in until 2019 (:sick:). That's fine because we'll split down the middle on it's sale without having to heave a chunk to a cunt solicitor.
Biggest fear after that is her moving our child from the best primary school in the city because her arsehole family live on the other side of town (like 8 miles away so hardly fucking next city is it). And that is also my biggest fear; them moving to some shithole area.
Next biggest fear is the potential 'STEP-FATHER' scenario. I hated mine so...
Financially we're £650 down on the credit card and have two loans to clear. So lol at that entire shitshow. Happy 5th birthday, your present is divorce! \o/
Not great, but the bitch said she hated me and hated this life, so fuck her. It would be far worse if I actually cared about her. Her uncle is still in love with his wife who left him 5 years ago for a colleague. That must suck balls. She kept the house and the kids as well. DANG.
Jesus, sorry to hear that, Magic.
Are you also going to sort out access to your daughter by yourselves? Probably best to get that sorted early doors so you're not facing a one-day-every-two-weeks scenario and it gets bitter.
Call. A. Fuckin'. Attorney. Lad.
Sorry Magic. Seems like it was inevitable but still can't be much fun at the moment.
Take your daughter
fuck off here to Orlando
take on new names
I'll sort you guys out some fake ID's (I got a guy)
meet a beautiful, loving, Latina goddess who will take care of you both
?????????????????
Profit.
Sorry to hear that magic.
You need to prepare in case it turns nasty. Have the material etc to hand, even if you ultimately don't need it.
What was the straw that broke the camel's back? This can't have come out of nowhere.
Magic :console:
Drinks on me next time I'm in Scotland, which will be never, but if you find yourself in Sweden then.
My sister had to have an abortion, conceived with her lunatic ex-boyfriend. Confided in the wife, who subsequently told my other sister, who told my step-mum, who told my dad, who told my sister that her 'trust had been breached'. It all kicked off, wife got the blame, I had to have an argument with my dad and try and get everyone together again, wife kept saying I didn't stick up for her (how can I defend that? even though I did stick up for her I didn't say because I wasn't sure how it would be recieved), if she'd have just kept her fucking mouth shut so it all came to a head last night and she was greetin' saying 'all I need is a cuddle' but it's easy to say that when you've just called someone out for everything under the sun. She said she was leaving and I said good fuck off you cunt.
This morning, packed the bags, gone. Don't know where, don't know for how long. Wean has gone with her, even though I dropped her at school this morning. So yeah I'll take it as it comes, her friend is 'having a break' from her long term boyfriend/father of her children so I think that's given her confidence to try it, but I told her I don't do breaks it's all or nothing I'm not a mug.
Been having a look at wei flats to rent, lol @ potentially 50% of my monthly income going towards accommodation. :(
Fuck me.
She'll be back within the week wanting to move back in, Magic. Are you prepared to stick this out when she does? It seems like the sensible thing to do but then so has it seemed this whole time.
I dunno. I really love Spotify and my BT Sport so I'm not sure if I could handle sitting in my unwashed pants eating beans out of a tin listening to neighbours fighting.
I know there's two sides of every story, but if your side is anywhere near true then you're better off being shot of her. You're still young, you can still be a brilliant dad to your kid and find someone who you're not going to detest.
You're putting a lot of weight on 'can' there.
Less hassle with a webcam slut.
Get a flat in Dundee with Waff.
TTHIRL Dundee.
From what you've said it sounds like a silly thing to have brought it all down (stubbornness) but you'll probably be better off in the long run.
I'm off this week, MJ, baby. Cans with the lads on Thursday since it's payday. My treat. We can do a pub crawl of Broughty Ferry, taxi up to the student Union for your rebound. I've been friendzoned so we can get through this shot together, brother.
That could be just what he needs.
We just spoke. Won't bore you with the details but she said it'd maybe take a week to 'gather her thoughts and get her shit together'. That's a fairly long time, she's staying at her mums. She said I'm obviously more than welcome to come and visit our daughter, but for me that makes me rather ill, almost like a prisoner getting visitor time. I don't want to fucking do that, but when else can I, apart from the weekend. But even then that's almost resigning me to rent-a-dad, take her for an ice cream, read a book then fuck off. I don't want that under any circumstances but I work all the hours of the day during the week. Fuck sake.
I am sitting here, in the deadly silence listening to nothing but the clock tick in the hall way. Staring out in to the back garden with our new decking furniture basking in the glorious sunshine, pondering what might have been, what could have been. And it sets. Sets slowly, deeply, in.
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/38/a9...fed68b099d.jpg
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick.
Or you go get your daughter and tell the bitch SHE can come see her daughter at YOUR home whenever SHE feels like.
EMPHASIS because I'm fuckin angry.
Why does the woman always feel entitled to just take the fucking child. Go get your fucking kid and put her in her own fucking room where she belongs.
Sleepin on the couch at Nan's when, as far as we've read about, wife's basically the one whose constant immature behavior has fucked all this off.
She's probably talked to an attorney who advised her to take your beautiful daughter with her so she can say "well the daughter was primarily with me during our split" or some shit.
Fuck that. I'm fuckin fuming.
Yeah, I'd book some emergency leave from work and bring my daughter home. She's flounced off, but that's no reason to uproot your daughter from her home.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkuWrmxN7hg
Magic later.
(sorry)
Makes it sound like everybody in Dundee is in a broken relationship.
I'm pretty happy for you magic. She's a horror who you don't need.
Just focus on how you keep your little one's life normal as possible.
As much as I side with Magic here (as we all do) I think the best interests of the child come first right now. Poor girl probably doesn't really understand whats going on at the moment, staying at Nan's must seem like a fun adventure for her. Magic swooping in and taking her home (at the moment) is only going to confuse and upset her, and probably give him a harder time as well.
I do think though that you could maybe bring this up quietly with work to see about maybe finishing early some days/this week so you can go and see her each evening, keep the air of normality for her sake.
Obviously feel free to berate or disregard all this, I have no experience, just trying to think about what I would do if it happened to me.
That's exactly what I'm doing mo, going to see her when mum isn't there during working hours, I want to give her the space.
I could go and snatch her, but then I'd have to give her straight back because work.
Go on the run with her.
This is why you should have been documenting her late nights getting pissed / shagged. You could have built a nice little portfolio to show your lawyer and look to get full custody.
It's tricky because the mother should be better at looking after a daughter, but this mother is a dirty cunt and ultimately you don't want that rubbing off on the child.
He would obviously use it only to reference dates and events. I'd strongly advise against including his thoughts and musings verbatim, as he'd probably end up in prison.
I wouldn't want full custody, I know I'm not the greatest parent. She is a really good mother.
You need to make sure you protect your own access, though. What happens if her family start whispering in her ear about custody etc. etc.
Be prepared, is all people are saying.
There's no way that would happen.
*SUPERVISED 2 HOUR VIEWING CENTRE*
Makes it sound like some sort of kiddy zoo. You must teach the bairn the ways of engineering.
Holy shit, it's the end of the board.
Real talk, good luck Magic. Remember to try and make decisions calmly instead of at the height of your emotions.
End of the board? Probably the lifeline we need.
Hope you're alright Magic. :thbup:
How are you doing, @Magic?
Nosy cunt.
I've met a pretty amazing girl at McGill, but I don't know if I want to be dating someone two weeks into my first semester of university. Not sure what to do.
I just want something to read other than Hammer and RL's shit-off in the other thread.
If it makes you feel any better, nobody that I knew that started dating in the first 3 months of college lasted until the end, so at least you know she's not the one.
Or just do what young people are supposed to do and just date and have some fun, if it doesn't work out move on. It doesn't have to be a drama
It's ok babes.
Magic it's over and its been over. At it's crux, she has no respect or attraction towards you, and at the end of the day that will always determine whether the relationship can be salvaged.
'Weird' = maintains attraction and is loyal to me. It's how it's supposed to be.
Anyways I'm probably getting back together (for good!) with a girl I met in her second week of school. I think I'm calling it a life on the girl front, I genuinely find the entire process to be tiresome at this stage. I can get laid and I'm actually over it, would rather be with someone I care about who is absolutely wonderful, I don't need to have any more 'fun.' I'd rather focus on my career / having children young / make and save money / etc.
What the fuck is all of that?
It's over, lads, no more ALPHA stories from Mert :(
Do we have a replacement lined up?
Respect to all you male's who are man enough to have wife's and children. Im still, too much of a coward to do so.
I would marry my better half without question. But CBA organising a wedding. Looks a right effort.
If I were doing it all over agai I would fuck off somewhere abroad, get married on the beach of an All Inclusive and invite everyone on the basis that they pay their own way and still buy us a decent present. It would save £10-15 grand and you're already on honeymoon.
Just you, her, and 100 of TTH's finest.
It'll be great.
Hawaii here we come lads
What the hell is going on with no posts in here for six weeks or something?
Anyway, me and my partner might be breaking up. We've been rocky for a while in fairness, the spark just seems to have gone. We haven't fallen out or anything, just drifted apart over the past few months. It's just gone flat. We've talked and eventually decided to try and do a few more things together and see if that can rekindle anything, but I'm not sure.
The crux seems to be that we're not doing anything at the weekend. I'm more interested in the football and she's having to make arrangements to go out with her mates and stuff. The problem is we're both so busy and tired and it's hard to get out and do stuff, particularly as we both have to do some work over the weekend. I've cut my work load right down to about three hours on a Sunday, but she seems to spend all Sunday working sometimes. She moans a little about me not pulling my weight sometimes around the house (think I've mentioned this before), but that's fairly minor really.
In hindsight, we might have moved in together too soon. She bought a house and moved into it a couple of months after we met, and I more or less moved in soon after, and properly moved in a couple of months after that. Where it was fun coming round and seeing each other a few times a week, suddenly became the norm.
Anyway, please offer some words of wisdom, or comfort.
Half the board told you that relationship sounded shaky well over six months ago, and you got really shitty about it.
A few people mentioned it, and it was based on a couple of little annoyances.
To be honest doing things at the weekend won't be much of a solution if you both aren't really wanting to find some time together anyway. I mean it's important to make time for hanging out and all, but to some extent that should be something you make sure by yourself as well.
It sounds more like you are both not very into each other anymore for whatever reason, and at that point not sure if there's so much to do about it. I mean by the sounds of it (correct me if I'm wrong) you don't seem too upbeat about the prospect of breaking up really.
The "Living together" situation just sounds like what it's like to live with someone, whoever that is. There's always some everyday challenges to deal with when you share a house and given most people have the idea they will do that for the remainder of their lives (once they find someone they want to do that with), I don't know if it matters much if you move in together after 1 month or 1 year, at the end of the day.
So to me I'd say you have two options:
A. (you want to stick with her) - Make some sort of plan of how to make things happen on the weekends, make some sort of joint decision on "1 day per weekend is Us-time" or whatever and make sure you do something fun that time (not just lounge around in the sofa at home). Try that for a few months and see if it helps.
B. (you are fed up anyway and want to watch your football and shouldn't she accept that anyway?!) break up now and be done with it, find somewhere else to stay. Tough luck really, but at least you can get fucked with your mates as much as you want right? And if that feels like the more appealing option then it's probably the right one.
Sounds like a great relationship Scouse, you should keep at it forever.
To be fair if my mrs wanted to sit around watching TOWIE all weekend I’d be pretty fucked off. Watch Match of the Day and go out on a Saturday with her. Easy.
I only get 1 day a week off with my Mrs so we meet for lunch a couple of days a week, I pick her up on Saturday after work and we go out, etc. And I guarantee we have a more difficult working arrangement than you do and we have a toddler on top of that. Ultimately if you wanted to see each other you’d already be putting the effort in without having to come to blows over it first.
Edit: that came across more cuntish than intended but I stand by it. If the idea of putting the effort in makes you want to sign (your post reads that way) then it’s time to bin it.
Being the classy individual I am, I screwed the Romanian sous chef.... in the bathroom on a manky duvet.
Lass I got with in Guernsey some eight years ago, the one I can't even remember sleeping with, we rekindled our fleeting romance recently but she wants more and that's a no go as far as I'm concerned.
I'm right back on it after a few years not even being interested. I've had more sex this last three months than the last three years. I don't know what it is but it's easy again. I went through a stage where I was just socially awkward or not confident enough anymore. Fuck knows.
Truly on top form but it's me so I'll blow it eventually. :Cool:
It probably doesn't help that I only post the negative stuff, and I rarely make many posts. We've decided to give it a try, with us basically doing more stuff together. One of the main reasons it might feel forced is because of how busy we are, and having to find time to do things. We've done the 'us time' but that's normal for teachers anyway (as well as other professions that work long hours of course) and I've had a few experienced teachers telling me that it would be like that and it's natural.
I do find it a bit strange that some on here think we should maybe call it a day when I'm sure a high percentage of relationships are in a bigger state than ours. But then I get the impression I could say we prefer different flavour sandwiches and some people would be telling me it's doomed (hi John).
Maz, leaving doesn't seem like the preferable option, but that doesn't mean it's not the right one. A bit more on my partner - she's really down with work at the moment and is looking for another job. I think that's having a knock on effect. She's on quite a high pay scale but has been told she won't be able to go to the next one for rather dubious reasons. She also doesn't get on with some of the senior staff, and has taken a bit of time off in the past.
Sweet delusion. It isn't working, pan it. There's no kids or joint mortgage.
We also said Magic's relationship was doomed when it looked a little rocky.
Kid, marriage and divorce within a year, Scouse.
I don't know where people find the time.
They don’t spend all weekend watching football.
I would suggest firstly looking at it from your own perspective. Do you want even want to remain with her? It's all well and good trying to rekindle things but ultimately both of you need to be sure that that's what you want. There's little point in pretending you want to be with one another for the sake of being with one another. Relationships are relatively easy things if you have the fundamental ingredients. Communication being the biggest, trust right alongside it, attraction, desire. Do the good things outweigh the bad? People have a tendency to really focus on the negatives when talking about relationship break downs, not too dissimilar to a depressive believing their life to be shit, it's just easier to recall all the bad stuff and the good tend to be forgotten. I'm assed looking for your posts from 6 months ago as I have no clue of your past history with this lass but you need to ask yourself if it's worth saving, if it is then try harder. Pull your weight around the house, go back to basics and remember what made you both want to be with one another in the first place. Be spontaneous.
The problem with moving in with someone so soon as I'm sure you're aware is that you quickly learn all of their bad habits, the things that were hidden, you swiftly get under one another's feet, spending too much time together, both working full time too and so the little that is free has to be divided fairly. You have to do your thing, she has to do her thing, you have to have your own lives as much as having lives together. Living in one another's pockets or always been in close proximity together isn't at all that healthy. If she bought a house I imagine she's in a better financial position than you given your other quote below. Her work life shouldn't have much of a baring on your lives together. Quite rightly she's looking for something else, be proactive and help her do this. Support her in following her goals, if you want to be with her then you've got to take one for the team in that respect but again, it depends on you. When you're bringing your work home with you then it's no good, the same as if you take your home life to work with you. If she's just down because of work then she needs to do something about it or could she be using the work as an excuse because she doesn't want to be with you. Be open minded to this. It's difficult to gauge on a forum where we don't actually know the lass but if you both do want to be together then I wouldn't say it's doomed. Take a weekend break by yourself or send her away and do something to the house. Make her miss you. Make her look forward to wanting to come home to you.
Here in lies one the problems. The solution isn't just doing things together, it's about having separate lives as well. If she has friends then arrange with them for them to take her on a girls night out. Or arrange a lads night out for yourself. Cook her a meal, run her a bath, do what you can to ease her work load if work truly is the issue. It depends how much you want it, doesn't it? You can only do what you can do and I think you'll admit yourself that you could do more. Ask yourself if you could do more then why aren't you doing more? You can't use the work excuse yourself because it doesn't sound like you want to lose her, it sounds as though the relationship is slipping into stale, routine type shit though. I can imagine you both come home from work, have a whinge about work and wake up the following day to go to work. Forget what other teachers say too. Every relationship is different.
She's on a high pay scale, so what. It means nothing if there's no satisfaction in her role. Money only gets you so far, you've got to enjoy what you do for a living. As a teacher I imagine you get a decent amount of time off at various points so it's not as though things require a massive plan of action given you know when these times off are going to occur, mostly.
Did either of you think it would be better than it actually is being together under the same roof? I don't know the reasons for moving in so quickly together but that can take the passion out of a relationship in itself especially if she feels more of a mother to you than a partner, what with your comment about her believing you don't pull your weight around the house.
I wouldn't even sit down with her and have "the talk". Either surprise her by doing something for her or surprise her by telling her you're going to start a new interest and follow it through. Make her want to spend her precious time with you again.
In short, fuck what this lot say. If you believe it's worth fighting for then do so. If you are both on the same level then it shouldn't be all too hard but as I said, bare in mind that she might not want to be with you any longer too. Protect yourself whilst simultaneously supporting her. Relationships....who'd have 'em.
You might skim over this but I hope somewhere in there there's some helpful advice.
Good luck, Scouse.
What's your situation @Magic?
I haven't skimmed over it Smiff, it's much appreciated. I'll respond in more detail later, but in short you're right in a lot of what you say.
That was great. :D
Magic's just jelly because Spoonsky has been DONNING IT lately, if facebook is anything to go by.
He was the reason I quit too.
I try not to look at the "relationship" as an abstract thing, and try to focus on the individuals. It's probably why I've never been in a relationship for more than 9 months, but whatever.
I just care about Magic. :(
“Quitting” Facebook. :face:
How do you know when someone doesn’t have Facebook?Toggle Spoiler
"Have you read my twitlonger?"
Yeah alright. Then, I've been through numerous "fuck my job and it's going out over my partner" phases with my girlfriend from both our sides really, and while it's true that changing that sort of situation can have a really positive effect, there was never really any feeling of "let's bin this" during those times, it always just sort of felt more like something a bit rough to go through together.
But obviously all relationships are a bit different and you know best what you feel like.
The reason people are saying they think it's doomed isn't because of Sandwhich preferences mate, it's because you started your post with saying "Me and my partner might be breaking up" which usually is a sure sign you would indeed be breaking up (in my experience once someone says that, the conversations have been had already and what remains is some sort of chicken race on who can provoke the other to do it first).
It's not from this time Maz, it's from last time I brought us up several months ago, talking about some of our petty annoyances against each other (reading back it was only really two peope). I've spoken to my mum a couple times about it, and her general stance has been that no relationship is perfect, you need to work at it and you're always going to have fallings out, differences of opinions and even doubts, unless you find that one in million perfect soul mate. Which seems the obvious and sensible opinion, and one that most on here would probably go along with. Although I spoke to her the other day after our chat and she said maybe it's for the best and that we'd given it a good try. Fwiw, we've had one or two 'are we okay' chats in the past and basically decided we need to put our relationship ahead of work and try a bit harder.
The 'let's bin this' stuff is fair enough. She's quite driven and has plans on where she wants to be in life at certain points, which is something I've never really got. When she was at university she wanted to be a high level teacher, bought her first house and have two children by 30. She has the first two. Without going into too much detail, life in the bedroom (sorry I know that sounds silly) has gone stale which is surely one of our biggest issues. She's admitted that she's put up a barrier for the last several months. That's almost certainly having an effect. I'm also concerned she might be a bit depressed. Fed up with her job to the point she wants to leave, relationship having troubles and she generally seems pretty down. She takes anti depressants because she's had this before (before we met), and I do tho k she focuses on the negatives a bit too much.
From my perspective, I do want it to work, I just sometimes need that kick up the backside as a reminder. I've been so tired through work over the past couple of years, something I've not really experienced much of before as I've only worked regular hours (35-40 a week, which became 55-60 as a teacher). My old head teacher warned me when I started seeing my partner in my NQT year, telling me how tough it would be and that I'd need to work on my work life balance, and when I moved in with her one of my teaching mates I was working with asked me how I found the time (particularly as it meant a longer commute to work each day). Sorry if I'm going over old ground, but I think the context is important.
So Smiffy, yes I want to be with her, but I don't think we're one in a million soul mates or anything like that. The truth is, we love each other, but neither of us are quite sure if we're right to spend the rest of our lives together. I do support her in following her goals, and have encouraged her to look for other jobs (which she has been and is doing). We're on half term this week, we went out for the day yesterday and she's going to a spa for a couple of nights at the end of the week with her mum, which will give her a nice relaxing break, time apart and time to mull things over with her mum. We do get a decent amount of time off. We've been to Paris, Venice, South of France, London and other weekend and days away in England (Chester for a couple of weekends, for instance). We would have booked to to Barcelona this Christmas but we can't as we break up at different times.
I need to go out so I'll finish my response later.
At the end of the day, neither of us are 100% sure. To some, that would suggest that it's not quite working and we should call it a day. Others would say that few relationships are 100% and we shouldn't expect ours to be. This is the dilemma I'm facing.
Hmm. It's hard to tell because you seem a lot on the fence about it but from what I'm gathering then it seems you're not quite done in trying to make it work. Generally my personal relantionship mentality is much like that of your mothers', so keep that in mind but then my advice would be to stick it out for a while longer and attempt your best at making things better. Maybe you will have to set your own contentment aside for a while to be a little extra supportive of her actually, as it seems she's the one really going through some tough stuff and you're mainly just suffering as a bi-product of that.
See it as a bit of a test because if you're going to spend the rest of your lives together, I'd assume it's likely she will occasionally struggle with that sort of thing, and you may have to deal with this sort of phase in the future as well. If you can know that they are just phases that might help then.
And you say she's looking for a new job so it might be fair to give her a chance to find one. So long as you feel she's also trying to do something about the situation as well.
Actually to me now it sounds more like your everyday life is what's suffering more, and maybe going for weekends isn't what's going to solve the problem (let's face it, it's always quite nice to go for a weekend break or a vacation).
On the Sex thing that's really hard to say because it could be a bi-product of everything else (and also aren't anti-depressants often detrimental to sexdrive?), or it could just be that the attraction is fading away (which could be a bigger problem). If you feel like it's the latter I'd maybe say take a look in the mirror and see if you look as good/fit/dress as well as you did when you guys met. I did that a while ago and realized I'd let myself go a bit so I lost a bunch of weight and got fitter again - not really for the sake of my relationship or anything - but it had a very positive side-effect on it in many ways.
I always find such conversations are unwarranted. Communication is very important but "are we OK" is a question that I find rather black or white. You know things aren't OK and if you feel that way then you can bet your bottom dollar that your partner isn't because when you're not OK or you're not feeling the love as much etc then irrespective of how she feels, you're not giving the real version of you.
I find such plans are pointless. Life gets in the way of such things as seems to be the case here but it seems standard form. It's wise to want the stability and good career prospects but other things like kids can't be planned so easily. Right time, right partner, right situation etc however with regards to the stale sex, that's easy to rectify and that's something you can control. Mix it up. Sex doesn't have to be confined to the bedroom, it doesn't have to be a wham, bam, thanks. Sex normally gets stale in relationships anyway, it's not like it was at the beginning but that's not a you thing, that's a 99/100 relationships thing. Are you both open to talking about your sex life or is it a situation whereby you both know it but don't fully divulge what you like, what works etc? Be spontaneous. Get her excited. Find new positions, new places, extend foreplay, step outside your comfort zone, introduce toys, get darker, tie her up, roleplay. It doesn't even have to 50 shades of grey. Give her a massage after work, make her wonder "wtf?" Obviously she needs to pull down that barrier but equally it's within your capabilities to break it down yourself.
If she is indeed depressed then you can't fault her for focussing on the negatives, that's the nature of the beast but equally it's as much down to her as it is to you to break free from that hold. Eat healthier, excercise more, do something different with yourself(ves), It's a tricky balance managing everything if she is indeed depressed but then she's got to want to help herself too. It's not easy but the best thing in that respect is for you to be there and support her but equally don't be a mug. You both need to try and improve things because anything less than 50-50 in the long term isn't going to work. She has to want this as much as you do, not to escape the darkness but to salvage what comes across as an average relationship. Take her swimming and fuck in the pool, go for a walk and just go hammer annd tongs somewhere. Add the excitement in. The risk of being caught is glorious (just not near playgrounds even if it will solve both your job woes ha)
I wouldn't suggest calling it a day simply because neither of you were sure. If that wasn't the case then I would say get out and get on with your life, do some self improvement and she'll soon realise she made an error but it doesn't sound like you're both at that point. Women are weird creatures, if she didn't want to be with you she'd be finding many more reasons so as not to be with you. (Admittedly not knowing the lass the job, sex life, mental state etc could be reasons she's using but not going all out to say it's over but it doesn't read as such).
I would however say the last thing you need is someone else, your mother or hers interfering, it's a situation that you both need to solve yourselves since inevitably when things aren't all that great in relationships the only things she's going to be telling her mum is the shit stuff, I'm sure you probably do the same with your own. Having breaks away is all very wel and good but it's just a different environment for a short time, you want to take her to a different place for a long time. Problem with breaks is the issues either get swept under the carpet until you both return home or you talk about said issues on break and then it doesn't actually become a break.
If I was in this situation personally then I would support her as you're doing but detach yourself a little bit, focus more on yourself than on her, take up some new hobbies, do some community work, some fundraising or whatever. Be the positive example, your only reason needs to be that you're not happy with how things are in your life so you're going to do something about it. When you both talk about your new interest or hobby, offer to take her along or something so she knows your not just getting your dick wet elsewhere as again it's a fine balance. You suddenly disappearing would inevitably make her fear the worst and maybe she'll start accusing you of stuff given her current mindset.
Why not start the next time you're home before her. Cook her a meal without telling her, get the candles on the go, start playing games. I once went the postit note route, little bits of information leading towards her finding the next note, to go look here there and everywhere for the next one. Make things exciting again. It's well within your grasp.
Again, might be some snippets of good info in there for you but the relationship is far from dead and buried. I don't know your past relationships or how much experience you have in them but it's more than salvagable if you're willing to put the effort in. Just be wary that it could all be for nothing as you can't make her mind up for her, you can just show her the best version of you and if that's not good enough for her then quite frankly fella, she's not good enough for you.
I think I'm probably understating the sex thing a bit. Her sex drive is practically zero, and has been for a while.
We're doing as you say in your first paragraph Maz, and seeing how we go. Neither of us think the relationship is dead, but it has dwindled and gone flat. I'm happy to make sacrifices for her, and I do accept that she will be like this from time to time, as it's not the first time even since we've been together. Theoretically that shouldn't be an issue, with my past experiences of mental health. To be honest I'd rather be with someone who has mental health experience. She's actively looking at other jobs. When she was last unhappy about a year ago, she had an interview somewhere else, and last week she had a look round a school. I don't want to go into too much detail because I'm uncomfortable sharing her life on a public forum, and not sure it's fair.
As for my personal aesthetics, I've always looked after myself and continue to do so. I don't think too much has changed on that front, apart from me being more tired. If anything, in the past I've overdone the exercise. I've always had a bit of a chubby face in comparison to my body, fwiw, but not sure that's relevant to much.
Agreed about the plans, Smiff. She brought it up when we were having our chat the other day, about where she sees herself and how I don't do that. I think she sees it as a bit of a negative that I don't think long term, but I just never have done. Back to the eating healthier - we both eat healthy, she is at Slimming World and sticks to it pretty well. She's actually the thinnest she's been since she moved down to Leeds when she was at uni 10 years ago. That concerns me a little as it happens; on Sunday when we went out for the afternoon, she'd only eaten two biscuits all day, and it was 4pm when we got home. She doesn't exercise as much as she'd like, but she does okay. She gives me quite a lot of massages due to my lifestyle, but barely wants one herself.
As for the hobbies section, she's just taken up knitting and started going to a class. She's quite outgoing as it happens, she has lots of close friends and does plenty of things. She also does voluntary work at cats protection from time to time. At the risk of sounding like an old retired couple (if we don't already), we bought a jigsaw aaages ago but have never got round to doing it. She phoned her dad yesterday to see if he could get a plywood board for us so that we could crack on with it. I don't have any new hobbies, however I've stopped playing football recently which can get me down. She's telling me I need to start playing again (although I'm currently injured). The problem is not playing in Sundays theoretically gives me more time to get my work done at the weekend, and allows for more 'us' time.
I do want to do something for her for when she gets back from her spa break on Saturday. Buy some flowers, cook a meal etc but that's not anything out of the ordinary. I haven't bought her flowers for a while and we generally have nights when each other cooks. Mine are usually Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Other days either she cooks or we cook together. She has in the past said it would be nice to come home after work and have tea on the table (which it always is on a Wednesday as she is late back). The problem with that is I rarely get home much before her if at all, and she does meal plans at the start of the week and I don't always know how to cook the things we're having (hence us cooking together sometimes).
Maybe prepare a meal in advance so all she has to do is heat it up when she comes back and you're not there? Bake her a cake or make some biscuits. Write her a letter telling her what she means to you, something that requires effort and a little time perhaps? A cheesy poem slipped under the pillow and what not. Buying flowers is all well and good but in the grand scheme of things it's piss easy to do that.
If you don't know how to cook the things you're having then learn. Anyone (myself included) who claims they can't cook is chatting shit, you're basically admitting to being unable to follow instructions as that's all it is. Trial and error thereafter. Maybe take a cooking course yourself or with her as it sounds you spend some time together in the kitchen at least and any time should be quality time. Just continue to show you're willing to try these things. If it doesn't help your relationship then at least it'll help you for in the future too. Sidenote: If she attends Slimming World they give out booklets with recipes in anyway, if your partner hasn't already got them then just pop down there and grab one anyway. Red day green day bollocks still, I think?
Not playing football on Sunday's is a bit of a feable excuse, I mean it's 2/3 hours out of a day, nothing major so rid yourself of that excuse. You know you feel better in yourself when playing too as it's something you enjoy. Injuries permitting. If she doesn't care for massages then maybe run her a bath, few candles here and there, even share one together if it's big enough. Lather up the soap and turn that into a massage whilst in the bath, hell, play it right, start slipping towards her boobs, few kisses on the neck and who knows, a new take one some watersports. Sex in the shower is pretty handy too.
Her diet could be in relation to her mood, as you said your own experience in mental health should tell you all you need to know there. Your appetite goes, your desire to move and be active deminishes and what have you. Just gentle nudges in the right direction helps instead of confronting her about what she probably already knows. Just remain supportive init.
What are you like at DIY, crafts and the like? Grab some pallets, get on the DIY groups and maybe start improving the back garden or something, create a nice place for you both to relax in. Watch as it comes together, nice cosy night by the log burner outside, solar lights planted around, take a blanket and lie by the fire whilst gazing at the stars. Romantic things in the eyes of a woman at least. (admittedly probably the wrong time of year to do that but nothing stopping you wrapping up and snuggling up and just enjoying the silence together).
If she doesn't exercise as much as she used to then a simple solution would be to buy a Wii fitness thing, turn it into a game together, challenge her and have some living room fun.
Keep at it. If it's worth saving, go for it. It's actually nice to see two seemingly mature adults at least acknowledge that things aren't as they were instead of slipping off into the darkness and finding fulfillment elsewhere. You at least have that going for you both. Good luck.
BTW Scouse, we haven't talked about that either but I'm supposing the discussion about Kids have been had at some point?
If that's something she wants, and you don't (right now?), that could also be a factor in all this?
Of course I understand any unwillingness to commit to something like that given the circumstances, but yeah.
We haven't discussed children. It's just not right for us at the moment. One of her best friends from school has just had her first baby, but her and her husband have been together 10+ years I think and married for several too. I don't know if that's playing on her mind.
Smiffy, the reason we cook together sometimes is so that I learn the recipes she cooks. We can only have certain recipes with her being on a diet. The meals I cook for us now have been learnt from her and her slimming world books. The letter or baking thoughts are both good ideas, and I'll try and do both for when she gets back on Saturday. She will appreciate the effort.
I'm not sure what you mean by the football on a Sunday being an excuse. Fwiw, it's half the day not just 2/3 hours, as I had to leave at 9.30am and didn't get home until 2.30pm ish. She likes baths and we do share them occasionally, but that's entirely dependent on her. Sex in the bath or shower is something she is rarely if ever interested in, she just never really seems bothered. I am supportive of her diet, lifestyle etc because as you say I've been through it myself.
DIY wise I've painted and decorated the living room in the past few months, and we've done quite a lot of work in the garden as it's something we're both keen on. It's not really the time of year now for the outdoors though. The main thing that needed sorting in the house was the living room, and as I say I've done that (furniture too, for anyone who read our recent dilemma on that) We recently had a new boiler done so the old water tank was taken out of the airing cupboard, and she wants that turning into a wardrobe. We've also discussed getting a proper dropdown loft ladder so we can get in and out easily, but she knows someone who can come and do that. A Wii fitness or something like that might be a good idea actually, any particular recommendations?
Scouse mate I'm sorry, but you do kind of come off as 65 here.
Do you ever just go out and get fucked together? That's awesome.
I know. And no we don't, but we're teachers in our thirties; aren't we boring by definition?
She occasionally goes out, has cocktails and gets a bit hammered with her various mates from work/uni/home, but the only times I've really been out and got hammered in the past couple of years have been with my old work colleagues, and the work colleagues before that (basically my last two schools). I can't remember really even going out with my footy mates much, aside from a couple of pints after the games sometimes.
I'll be honest, it just doesn't really appeal that much as a couple. We did go out a few times with our neighbours over the summer and that was good, but there was a group of us.
I mean you can start it off as a dinner date type thing and then see it as an occasion to have some slightly more uninhibited fun together.
Whats the worst that can happen.
I've booked a table at a restaurant for Saturday, just up the road from where we had our first date. It's a small Italian and gets lots of good reviews.
Nothing sums up a failed relationship more than a soggy bowl of spaghetti. Good work Scouse.
Which book was that from?
So I've been dating / now seeing srsly a Portuguese girl since June.
It's been fucking amazing. I mean, she's even expressed an interest in learning about cricket.
What a delightful lunatic. I love her. I'm off to see her now, bye.
Well, that was something.
Messaged a girl I've fancied for a few months, asking her pretty unambiguously on a date. I've quite enjoyed feeling like a lovesick teenager, trying to fecklessly work out if she's interested in me, but she's quite guarded and tough to read so I thought fuck it, at least this way I'll know. In the past the fear of rejection has stopped me from asking out girls who I was about 90% sure did like me, so it's quite nice to have the balls to ask out a girl even when I'd say it's probably 25/75 if I'm being generous. God loves a trier, I guess.
Married lads, how did you propose? Did you take a more traditional route or something over the top and wanky?
We were over in Portugal at their home for her sisters baby christening/baptism. I was supposed to have the stones to ask her dad prior if I could have his daughter in marriage etc but bottled it so once he left, the next night, I proposed near her home. Nothing too elaborate other than picking the right place.
I just asked over a drink on holidays.
At her 21st.
Asked ’for her hand’ from her father and grandad (although would’ve gone through with anyway). Then proposed later that day in a place where her parents got married and it has a Romeo and Juliet type of story. Played a blinder there and waited just ten years to take her up on her promise to marry me.
Flew her away for a surprise trip to Barcelona and did it on a beach at sunset.
It's all about 'the story', so it's worth putting the effort in.
Went to Cockermouth, made a few puns so we fell out and then BAM.
My mam was over visiting and she knew I had been planning it for a while. We drown down to palm beach to spend the weekend with the missus parents.
We got there the Friday night and when she went inside for something I asked her Dad. He approved but I wasn't sure what the plan was going to be. It was then decided we would go to the beach on the Evening. So I did it out there under a full moon.
She realized pretty quickly I had no clue what I was going to do and I just winged it. Maybe leave that bit out.
Went to her favourite restaurant at Canary Wharf on a mild August day. I had the ring in my jacket pocket which had since made it’s way to being in my bag as it was too hot to wear it. No problem, I’ll get the ring when she goes to the bog. Which she still hadn’t done when fucking dessert arrived. In the end I had to pretend that I had seen a couple of umbrellas up out sider so I could get my jacket out.
Should have waited until after the baby, there’s no way she’s going more than a course between slashes these days.
"On a mild August day..:" :D
We just decided to do it for potential spousal hires and/or for me to become French.
Imagine putting effort in to become French.
The alternative is becoming American.
Oh, right. As you were.
That might be the worlds best example of a ‘rock and a hard place’.
And still apparently it beats just being Mexican.
You're better off being American than French.
Americans can't live and love in 27 different EU countries, m8.
If I get a job here, then I'll probably stay. But if I don't then I'll try to live and love in one of the 27 EU countries. I tried looking for jobs in Mexico but even finding job ads was a nightmare, so I gave up on that.
I'd rather be French than English.
Great so now we need a fucking wall.
Just matched with a girl on tinder, and she instantly messaged me. Assumed it was a bot, instead i got "you look like you're on base you scruff". Bit harsh.
base means speed you losers
only know that because my dad legitimately was addicted to base amphetamines so a bit close to the bone
Well, I've learned something today. From my perspective, his addiction was completely worth it.
I thought base was meth?
edit: Turns out it's anything
Free base (freebase, free-base) is the conjugate base (deprotonated) form of an amine, as opposed to its conjugate acid (protonated) form. The amine is often an alkaloid, such as nicotine, cocaine, morphine, and ephedrine, or derivatives thereof.
It just means you're smoking it rather than taking it in another form.
A substance made up of about 60% amphetamine.
In contrast to speed, which is made up of about 5% amphetamine.
Often methamphetamine is defined as base: "a purer form of speed".
Methamphetamine is a completely different chemical, with different effects. Base is the same chemical as speed, just in much higher concentrations.
Usually has a different effect to speed, as the higher dosage doesn't just mean fuller effects, but whole new ones as well.
NB: both amphetamine and methamphetamine have absolutely NOTHING to do with 2,3 methylenedioxymethamphetamine (ecstasy), despite the uneducated and ill-informed ramblings of the DEA.
personone: Meth is just a purer form of speed.
persontwo: No, that's base you idiot. Meth is a different chemical to speed.
personone: Allow me to kiss your educated feet, master. I revere in your mighty intelligence.
What the fuck is all that bollocks.
28th November: Mahow's poems get weird
I know I'm foreign and all, but to me the word "base" has always meant like a headquarter or a point of origin for operations of some kind, alternatively like a foundation.
Well forget that base-ic bitch (ha get it?), I've got a "coffee date" with a real fitty this afternoon. I'm a bit nervous because I'm absolutely punching, not helped by a couple of female friends saying essentially "wow, really?" Also, this is my first tinder date that hasn't involved booze. Hopefully nervous energy makes me funny and interesting rather than anxious and sweaty. Thank fuck it's fucking freezing.
Hopefully the coffee place is absolutely sweltering, and bustling so you both have to shout making it even more awkward.
reach into my jacket to get my wallet and all my speed falls onto the counter
Just chill out. The worst that can happen is you soiling yourself.
You will fucking bottle it.
thanks for the support, lads
We're all here for each other.
Slip her some TTH business cards.
We could do with more people lolling at you.
Shoulda known better than to get overly excited. It was pretty crap. Nice enough girl but zero chemistry.
Don't take shit from Levi Bellfield mk2.
Apparently my housemate has this annoying yank that he's trying to get it on with around. They've taken over the living room to watch a film (on my tv no less). Ffs.
Apparently he's also been playing guitar and singing for her. Fucking cringe.
Commiserations. The last thing anyone needs in their life is a female yank, especially if you're not the one giving her one.
He's (Northern) Oirish right? I doubt he needs to go to that much effort with a Yank.
Good on them if it keeps their marriage fresh, although you should probably have moved out by now.
When do we get your Christmas post complaining about having to share mummy with your little cousin?
Cousin's kid, and probably next week if they haven't all fallen out again.
Your cousin's kid is still a (variety of) cousin.
Anyway, she's left.
Cousins aren't even worthwhile family members, so their definitely bent kids are even less so.
She's back in a couple of weeks :cool:
Been chatting basically every day on Whatsapp/Facebook Chat since she left. Not sure if it's gonna be a hugely affectionate 'airport scene in Love Actually' type reunion or if it's going to be a subdued, very British 'go to the pub all casually and then take her home later' kind of thing, but either way I can't fucking wait. She's ace.
She'll come back knocked up, riddled, or both :drool:
She’ll have a clopper like a fisherman’s pockets.
I'm going for date #2 with Spanish vet lady next week. She's 25, cute and funny, but her Inglés not so good, and she's fucking 4'11'' as well which is a bit unsettling. I fear she might be a bit too wholesome and milletsy for my liking too - all sensible waterproofs and walks in the country and trips to the zoo. Might be good for me though, I spose.
The old saying that what you want is 'a lady in public and a whure in the bedroom'. Could be on to a winner.
A vet as well, so the role play should be good. Just don’t let her take your temperature.
Watch out for them fucking off back to the land of cured ham after Brexit. Happened to my mate with his bitch Greek nurse, as she's convinced herself that stitching up lepers in Thessaloniki is a better long term bet than marrying a finance professional in Surrey.
My friend - the one who is scam-married to an American so that he can live over there - went out with a girl from Barcelona in 2010 who convinced him that there was no way he could join her over there. His little face when I told him otherwise about six months after she had pissed off.
I had to translate from 150cm as well. Maybe I should just roll with it, at least she might disregard my weirdness as stuff just being lost in translation.
All the same height lying down...
Just completely lost my temper and told the girlfriend's mum and sister exactly what I think of them. Whoops. Not sure there's any coming back from that.
Well in, mate.
I told them they are a pair of cunts and that I feel sorry for my girlfriend having them as her family.
Was your girlfriend present?
Haven't you two been together since you were like twelve?
Yes and yes,
In any case, I'm sure you can lol it off.
What brought it on (the final straw like) and what was the girlfriends reaction?
Girlfriend just can't deal with the fact I don't get on with them. She's accepts they are difficult but she's always been really close to them and isn't just going to cut ties or anything. Which I understand, it's a shitty position for her to be in.
Final straw was just that I went round tonight and was making a real effort with them (I haven't been round much lately because it's pretty obvious we don't particularly get on) for the girlfriend's sake. They were just being their unpleasant, shitty, snide selves regardless of the fact I was obviously trying to get on. Just snapped. Never, ever lose my temper usually (other than with my older brother).
Is the dad around in general or did you wait until he nipped to the shops to give it the big'un?
He has to drive around the country a lot for work and stays away occasionally. He was away tonight. I don't feel like I 'gave it the bigun', I just lost my temper like a little kid.
I don't know how he puts up with them, he's really nice and we get on really well but he just ignores all their shit. He must have the patience of a saint.
Get in mate. You should have hit them as well.
My wifes mum absolutely bores me to death. Talking to her is like mind-numbingly painful.
I’d never shout at her like a little weirdo though. Good luck mending that, lol.
Either they will back off or, more likely, they are the kind who love drama, so they will just add a few snide remarks here and there. Either way, you need to stand your ground from now on. There is no backing down from this one.
No point having a pretend illness if you can't blame the out MELTDOWN on it. You'll be back in by the weekend.
Isn't this how Magic's start to end?
What's the latest with Magic? Divorce proceedings started yet?
Not likely, they're all under the patio by now.
He's with sister Vim in a bedsit.
What exactly happened with Magic? Everything's passed me by on that.
I fucking hated one of my ex’s mums and the feeling was more than mutual. You have my sympathy RL. It makes shit awkward across the board.
The only POSSIBLE route to civility from here is to own it, whilst accepting you have massively overreacted. Let things cool down for a bit, then sit them down and explain - without 4 letter words - why you erupted. I’d try to finish on the conclusion that you’re never going to be bezzing it, but you both love their daughter so you are stuck with each other. From there you can probably achieve an uncomfortably over the top politeness for all future interactions.
I’m in for a fiver
So that's Pepe pledging £100 via PM and spikes in for a fiver. You've gotta do it RL.
I'll go in for £20 too.
Then fucking clothesline her, dickhead
You've known these people for years, right? If you really hate them that much then it's been a top effort to avoid an outburst till this long.
It's fine, they're bound to have thought you were a cunt all along, this just confirms their suspicions. And who doesn't enjoy that?
When are we getting stories of how many sloots you've slashed Spoons?
When I smash a sloot I actually like I'll tell you.
Spoonsky can legally shag women (or men, whichever, I'm not judging) now? Fucking hell I feel old.
He's American. He could fuck a Senator.
:D
You're a 20 year old freshman yeah? Crazy ish. It's probably better in the long run that way honestly though
It's definitely better for me at least. Wouldn't want to be going in as an 18yo pleb.
Girlfriend's just asked me if it's possible for me to change my foundation post application to another area of the country so we could move away from everyone next year :drool:
It's not possible, but still.
You'd escape your mothers ladle.
I've honestly no idea where your thing about my mum hitting me with a ladle has come from.
She threatened you when we were playing Rocket League because you didn't tidy your room as potential buyers were coming the next day, no?
Oh maybe :D
Potentially yes.
Got married today. The crowd in the court was every bit as lol as you would imagine a court in Missouri to be.
Was it a scam marriage?
No, we've been together for seven years. It was a convenience marriage though, in that if either of us gets a job, then we can both stay and if neither of us finds anything, then we can fuck off to France/Mexico.
Oh congratulations then mate.
:cool:
Pepe :cool:
:cool:
Nice one Peps.
Congratulations 🍻
A French wife. Living the dream.
Congrats, Pepe.
I have this idea that French women are good looking, drama queens, always wear sexy underwear but are somewhat underwhelming in the sack.
Can you confirm, Pepe?
That's a deal-breaker, surely? Having little enough shame about it to tell you that's the reason definitely is.
What? Sounds cool to me.
Getting fucked off about something like that seems like a right little precious thing to do, so that would seem to me like an indicator that maybe she's not too much maintenance.
Few things make me seethe more than perpetual lateness.
If it's perpetual, it's a different story. That's French woman behaviour right there.
Right, Pepe?
My brother in law is late for everything. We look after his dog fairly regularly, and he's always at least an hour late dropping him off. Most of the time it makes no difference, but sometimes we're planning on going out as soon as he arrives, so we're sat waiting for up to 2 hours sometimes. He never has an excuse and always lies about being "on his way" when he's clearly in the gym or something.
It's actually cost him his previous relationship, as his girlfriend tried everything to try and get him to actually be on time for stuff, but she gave up.
she sounds zany. does she like gin, Hammer ?
Not even sure if that qualifies as "lateness" or just complete nonchalans to be honest. To me someone who is always late is maybe 5-10 minutes late usually to meeting up, and sometimes arrives 30 minutes late when there's a group or something.
But that bloke sounds a bit different.
Fuck off with your Swedish words.
Ät skit
I don't like being late but I'm utterly incapable of starting to get ready until the very last possible minute. It used to drive my housemates wild because, if we were all going somewhere, I'd intentionally be the last person ready just so I didn't have to wait for anyone else.
There's also the matter of trying to conveniently avoid people. I'm out with all my close friends tonight for a Christmas meal but the girlfriend of one of them is truly insufferable (everyone in the group thinks this and he's obviously unaware). Need to time it late enough so that I'm not left alone with them to begin with but not so late that the only seat left is next to her.
For sure, you can immediately add at least another hour to whatever time everyone is supposed to be meeting.
The easy way to solve this issue is always tell the mate to meet you two hours before the actual event, thus increasing their chance of being on time
Or, if they're late arriving, just leave anyway and let them deal with it.
Just tell them before hand. “We’re going out at 2. If you’re late we won’t be in”
Congratulations, Pepe. :cool:
Pepe :cool:
Congrats Pepe.
Just became an uncle. :cool:
Is [s]he named Pepe?
He isn't unfortunately. The father seems to be a bit of a pleb too, but we'll find out for sure next week.
What'd you post that in here for? You hoping to paedo the kid?
Father's pleb status confirmed. He was kicked out of the hospital during labor (fuck knows what he did) and now he is banned. He has yet to meet his son and he could not be included in the birth certificate because he is not allowed in to sign. :harold:
:-º
lol.
I hooked up with one of my best friends on Friday night (almost all of my friends here are girls). Oops.
Part of me feels like 'what have you done!', part of me would be happy to be in a relationship with her. But the idea of being in a relationship right now also freaks me out a little, so who knows.
Gay cunt.
:violin:
It's uni. You're supposed to be making awkward mistakes. Just don't end up marrying her or getting her up the duff.
What does 'hooked up' mean? Is it a catch all term covering everything from smiling at her to a Nazi-themed orgy?
I always thought it was a literal term, as in you're latching a snatch on your meathook. If anyone uses it for like necking or a bit of fingering they are full on nonce imo.
Do you think you could find a less pleasant way to word that.
I think Americans use "hooking up" synonymously with "making out".
I didn't realise the global press had got wind of it.
Is Spoon a Mormon or just from that part of the world?
Jewsky.
It's an American college term, it loosely means anything from making-out up to (but possibly not including) actual sex. So if I make out with someone on a dance floor, it's hooking up, but if I go home with them it could also be called hooking up. Basically it's a way of getting the necessary point across while keeping it vague as possible.
So which was it?
We don't use the term necking so I'm not sure I understand it completely, but I guess that?
She was wearing a turtleneck the next day.
Any fingering?
Either of you counts.
Spoon don't tell us you did that thing where kids suck each others necks to leave a mark?
This gets better :D
You've got to.
I forgot how bad it really was hahahahaha
Toggle Spoiler
Fucking hell :D
That's great. :D
Fucking hell Waff, how big is your mouth?
I didn't realize that hickeys were a generational thing though.
Well once you get older than about 14, you realize it looks fucking retarded to voluntarily walk around with a massive mark on your neck, which only purpose furthermore is to prove that someone else was sucking on your neck, which as far as sucking goes honestly is one of the least interesting places to have someone suck on really.
At our school there was a rumour that the 40-something female deputy head (who always wore a scarf even in hot weather) did so because she constantly had lovebites from 'hooking up' with the sixth form boys who did rowing (which is a sport associated with big, swinging dicks for some reason). This rumour was always dismissed as completely implausible, until it emerged she literally had shagged one (but just after he left school which I think made it technically OK).
Rowing and big dicks? :D
You posh cunt.
We've been posting on the same board for well over a decade, you can't be surprised.
On a lighter note, the girl I’m ‘seeing’ was raped on New Years Day. Wonderful stuff.
Jesus Christ mate that's terrible. So sorry to hear.
She doesn’t live here, which makes it worse. Dunno why I’m bothering.
The guys admitted it on text, so it’s just a case of the police arresting him - he’s got four charges including Rape and Sexual Assault against him.
Is he a kickboxer?
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Fucking bots
To think Baz 'negged' me when I said half his posts were designed to make him money in some way.
I wonder if there's a site he doesn't have an affiliate/referrer account with.
I’ve already deleted the app so I don’t even know why I bothered.:baz:
I'm going out with that friend now. It's been a secret for two weeks but today we told all our friends. I'm very happy :)
My boy.
Tenner says marriage.
This sort of thing is how people end up getting married, isn't it? Terrifying.
i want a girlfriend
First wife in the bag. Keep them coming Spoons. :cool:
cunt won't show me pics on facebook :(
Do you mean divorce or can the moomins do multiple?
I accidentally went home with an ex on Saturday. She cray cray. Tastes good though.
Vomited a little.
I'm pretty sure that Waff post has given me cancer.
Death would be an acceptable alternative to ever reading that again.
All I'm getting out of it is that he kidnapped her, killed her, cannibalised her and the resulting meal tasted a bit like crayfish.
Or Crayfish Supper as the scotch like to call it.
Hahahahaha. I was drunk and off my face and bumped into her for the first time in six months. Should have ignored her but whatever. Hopefully it’s another six months before I see her again.
I left everyone at a 30th in another club to go meet a Tinder girl and somehow managed going home with an absolute belter.
Chowing down on a bird after a night out. :sick:
What's the plan for Valentines Day lads?
I've only bought a card so far, and I'll be taking the other half out to a restaurant we went to early on in our relationship that we only went to because our first choice was packed. It ended up being a great feed so we're going back.
cooking dinner at home for my wife, followed by an early night as I have to drive to Scotland the next day starting out at 5am
I'm a real romantic 😍
Nothing. :cool:
I'm heading for the south west for two nights.
The South West of Ireland right?
We're not even doing cards this year, but we are spending the day out together and then going out for a meal in the evening.
Nothing, I'm not a puppet.
But I am lonely :(
I'm working :sherlock: :moop:
Better yet, it's turning into one of those weeks next week that no time off can be afforded.
Wednesday evening - out the fucking door :cool: :drool:
Pizza and a film in the house I think. I'll get some roses as usual.
So lads, there's this girl at work....
Mental. They’re allowed to vote these days and all sorts.
I’d give ‘er one. Ayyyyy.
I bought a voucher for a pizza place for Valentines, but it's not valid on Valentine's day.
You old romantic.
I don't acknowledge Valentine's Day as a thing. No cards no nothing, not even a good morning kiss and that shit is free. It's bull shit and I won't have anything to do with it. Missus would probably like some kind of acknowledgement but she knows the deal.
God bless TTH, where someone can call another man's wife 'vermin' in response to his Valentine's plans and receive only knowing nods.
We're going to Amsterdam for a few days.
So, hookers and drugs it is.
Ah, so long as you layed down the law then it's all ok.
Stop trying to be a fucking meat head and get her a card if she wants a fucking card. It's not making you a big man if you don't.
I've read that back and it sounded harsh. I made it clear I will have nothing to do with it from day one, why should I change my principles.
Love you x
'Vermin', jesus christ :D
That and Magic's response has had me lolling for a good minute.
Ignoring Valentine’s Day because the 23rd is our ten year “anniversary” (of when I asked her to be my girlfriend lol).
Good timing eh.
Have never had to do Valentines day. Bliss.
We’re going for lunch somewhere tomorrow and I’ve bought the mrs some clothes she asked for.
Can’t say I understand the great moral stand some people have against Valentines Day, but LR isn’t the first time I’ve encountered it.
No fuckin’ card company’s ‘avin me say nice shit to my other ‘alf, just so they can boost their profit margin!!!!
It’s usually the Harold’s of this world, rather than dippy, pissed up northerners, but there we are.
Been chatting to this American girl on tinder, she seems cool and interesting and she's quite pretty. Once she'd agreed she'd like to meet up, I noticed it said "I might be taller than you" on her bio. She's bloody six feet tall, and I'm 5'9''. Luckily she's absolutely unfazed by that, and said it's only ever an issue if blokes are weird about it themselves. I went on a date with a 5'11'' girl before and it took about 30 seconds to get used to. However, a few days after agreeing to go for drinks on Wednesday, it's just occurred to me what Wednesday is. Oops. Oh well.
This is a great read lads...keep it up.
I cant say I know anyone apart from teenagers and tragic sheilas in their 20's who take it that seriously.
We're going to Celtic vs Zenit on Thursday.
Sheilas. :D
Sheila goes out with her mate Stella,
It gets poured all over her fella.
I still don't know what next Wednesday is. Was Igor meant to tell us?
Valentines. You’re going away for it.
Spent the afternoon with and shagged someone I work with today. I am going to choose to believe this isn't going to end badly.
He's going to tell everyone you work with that you have a micro penis. :spikey:
Bam is BACK!
Answer your PM's Bam.
What a time to be alive.
Got Ms Hammer a card and we're off to some vegetarian restaurant that i reckon she'll like. Bosh.
So what are you nutters doing for Valentines today then?
Leedsrev is cooking dinner after he landed home with two dozen roses and some perfume.
Made a nice rump steak meal with a bottle of Rioja, then watched CL and finished off nicely with a few games of Black Ops 2. What a fucking night. :drool:
Pleb is the anonymous narrator of this board
Forgot it was Valentines. Zero fucks given.
He came to his senses.
It was well shit. I was fucking knackered after a long week and getting the stupid train and I was just not in a chatty, outgoing mood. If I'm honest, the fact that she was SO much fitter than her photos made me quite a bit more nervous than usual as well, which is a pity.
Er, going on date two tonight. Obviously I hadn't fucked it up as much as I thought. I'm so paranoid I'm gonna be a nervous sweaty mess I forgo caffeine prior to first dates, but after my damp squid performance last time I'm having a nice big coffee and I'm gonna sweat all over her sexy American face. Wish me luck lads!! xx
I'm sorry, a damp what?
Pedal stool.
Pre-Madonna.
Damp squid is a sex move iirc.
I imagine all squids to be a bit damp.
Oops! No wet squids or squibs last night, it was quality. I think I'm in love.
Damp, rather. My brain has been melted by lust.
She must be seriously fit :lol:
I think I once read a short story about someone who used a damp squid as a substitute vagina while masturbating. Might have been another of those pesky fever dreams.
Not a whole one presumably.
Damp, very important your squid is damp
Wet if possible. Just like my women. OI OI!
Almost broke up with my girlfriend of four years yesterday. Was quite an upsetting experience really, her basically being in complete shock didn't really help. We decided to give it a bit longer to see if I change my mind but that just means we're in a really awkward phase at the moment. We live together so not really sure what's going to happen.
Part of why we agreed to try a bit longer is I couldn't really express my reasons for trying to break up. Said stuff about having been in relationships since 17, wanting to just be on my own/independent (although her Qs as to what that would substantively involve were valid Qs) and no longer being as committed to the relationship as she is. None seemed to really be convincing, although perhaps that was because she was in shock and needs time to process stuff.
Break-ups are shit.
You don't need to provide a reason to break up. Staying together because you couldn't verbalise your feelings in that moment is a ridiculous concept.
I don't think it'll really be an amicable break-up without being able to express those reasons and giving her time to process it; and in doing the latter hopefully the former will become clearer. But if they don't then, yeah, it won't by itself be a reason to stay together permanently. Saying that, it is a little concerning not being able to aritculate the why for such a big decision but that's perhaps me just looking too logically at a largely emotional decision.
At the same time, if you're going to split up you should know why you're doing it. Even if it is just, "I'm getting kind of bored by it." or whatever.
This sounds like a classic "I just wanna fuck around a bit and I'm bored with you now" thing.
The "having been in a relationship since..." line is basically sweet talk for I wanna just be single and do what I want.
Regardless, what SvN is saying is kinda true but not the full story obviously since after 4 years you (hopefully and unless you're Magic) care enough for the person to want it to end in a way that's as good for them as possible.
Just don't do the thing where you start acting like a shite to get her to not want you as much (it doesn't work, and it just taints your image in her and possibly others' eyes). If you're serious about contemplating it, it's better to take a proper break and move apart and decide not to see each other for like 3 months, and then see where you stand. But honestly sounds like you've made up your mind already and in that case it's probably better to cut the umbilical and do it. She's gonna be sad regardless, so nothing you say will change that, it's just more about how you leave it.
Once you're at that point where you are considering breaking up I don't get how people can ever get past it and get back to normal, I'd have thought the relationship itself is dead man walking from then on.
I'm away from my girlfriend for two months over the summer (we're going to travel together in July), and it's a bit shit. No idea how people manage long-distance relationships full time.
Awww :happycry:
I feel you though. Get yourself a fleshlight
Is it weird that I feel like I know everything about Spoons' life but not know him at all?
Like I'm some weird distant Dad thats not really allowed to attend most of the major events in his life and the social events I am invited too I didn't bother showing up. Just get to see him throwing a graduation cap in the air on Facebook etc.
What I'm trying to say is, I'm proud of you son.
I've been single since 2013 and it would take a lot to give up on that. Maybe I've just met the wrong women but being in a relationship is rubz.
I've not had sex in three years lads, had the chances but literally cannot be arsed. Its been wonderful, no crazy shit, doing what I wanna do. Life is good.
EDIT: Forgot about that drunken thing with some sket about a year ago, so once in three years. Absolute whore of a man.
I'm still single.
Absolutely nothing mate. Genuinely think I'd be the type happy to get a prossie a month in the future and sack it all off.
I think Sincere is offering to put lipstick around his arsehole for you DS.
I'll make the man's ass moist
Got married on Saturday. Pretty cool so far.
In Hawai'i for the honeymoon. Pretty nice so far.
Congratulations.
Went to the Honolulu Zoo on a whim.
Saw a baboon with a bright red boner that grew when children came over.
Don't talk about your wife like that :(
Posting on here while on your honeymoon smells like disaster lad. Put the device down
Early days, but looks like baby number two is on the way. Which is nice.
I'm all for free love and having fun but the girl i was seeing last summer (and had spoken about rekindling our fling with this summer) has spent the year studying in italy. I knew she was ...."having a good time", but she's literally sent me a photo with three italian cocks in her mouth. Is it prudish of me to feel somewhat less excited about the prospect of banging her again?
Either way i'm demanding an up to date all clear from the gum clinic.
Three at once? I hope they said no homo.
Come at it from the other perspective and get excited about the absolute filth she's clearly down for.
Congratulations Panda.
Congrats Igor.
Get the ring bought Igor.
She’s probably had 3 of them on her tongue as well.
Yeah share that pic!
I lol'd and shared it with a gay friend of mine who said 'good on her'. Take that as you will.
Go on then :uhoh:
Share it lad.
WTF :D
PM, igor.
"I'm sure he won't mind this. He's probably forgot about me as well." <send>
Are we all picturing some hot slut drowning in sexy Italian peni?
She's probably a fat munter slobering on 3 Tony Sopranos. I mean look at Igy.
I had a weird experience with my partner last week. Still going strong so nothing major.
We pay the rent for her family house which I'm fine withbas she was doing it before I came on the scene. Expensive but it is what it is. Last week her mum got ill but chose not to worry her daughter but got ill to the extent we had to put her into a private hospital which came at a price. Then I'm being told we have to send more to make sure she gets treated right, backhanded type stuff. So now I'm getting irate as a) it's getting stupid financially and b) it fkies in the face of why youd become a Dr, surely?
The whole thing has rubbed me up the wrong way. My Mrs has explained it and she hates it too but what can you do. Anyhow, her ma is late 70's and the events have found that she's diabetic and cataracts, this same woman looks after her sister who's a few years older.
It's just not a situation I would know what to do with. Family is family so I get it but I don't know how to act about it. I want to help like I am but at the same time I know enough to know that a 70+ year old woman is only going to get worse not better.
Any ideas gents?
Not much you can do lad. The moment you make a claim against not supporting her and her family financially, that sounds like the end of your relationship. Its not like she is asking you to pay for her cars, its her mother.
I'm not going to stop helping her in that respect bud where do you draw the line? Obviously other factors are at play too which only further my confusion.
Her brother for example. He asked for £300 but when my partner chased it up with her ex husband who sorted the private clinic out for us it turned out to be bs.
I'm just legit confused as I don't know the culture, I know her brother is a big of a rogue un and I don't want it to interfere in what really is still something wonderful.
Giving the doctor a backhander to make sure she gets treated right? Am I reading a script from the Sopranos?
I guess it's the norm in Romania but who am I to say.
Yes, it's entirely the norm in that part of the world. I know that in Greece, priority of treatment goes to the highest bidder. It's not so much a backhander as a straight up medical cost.
Pay the doctor money to off her.
My Sister in Laws mate fell over on some ice whilst on holiday in Romania. He completely fucked his leg up and had to have 2 operations. The hospital wasn’t amazing, he had limited pain killers available (different laws?) and the language barrier made things difficult at times. BUT... he had no issues with being asked for payment / backhanders.
So, either:
A) They don’t pull that shit on Foreigners / Insurance companies / EHIC holders.
B) He got lucky with the hospital he went to
C) You’re being had.
Probably the first, but I would be feeling a bit uneasy if I was you as well.
I didn't doubt it given some of the stories she's told me about growing up there. She was 12 when the leader was overthrown and I just can't relate in any way whatsoever.
Should I be expecting mysterious things to be found along the way? "Oh by the way, we found out she has xx which requires £€$."
It's worse that I don't speak the language. Listening to her on the phone at times is like playing catchphrase. Guess the tone and facial expression then guess the conversation.
Also, you have to learn how to accept the loss.
Was it a private one or general? Apparently there's a difference in quality but it depends what it's being measured against. Both could be shit for all I know.
I would rather pay knowing it was doing something that helped her mum instead of someone else's pockets.
Romanian Mafia thread :drool:
Congrats! We went there for ours too. Really enjoyed Pearl Harbor (maybe enjoy isn’t the word..), diamond head and sea life park. We did a hike though a forest while it was chucking it down too but I wouldn’t ever be able to remember the name.
You staying in Waikiki? We stayed at the Ilikai. Wife wants to go back but it costs a bomb.
Yeah that's what the Japanese figured as well.
Igor likes wrong’uns and always had. He’s more at home with his nose up a fat birds waste pipe than you are holding an upsidedown sign at a special needs basketball match.
Played Spikes.
igor ya cunt ye have taste, fuck jack jeebs over there
3 year anniversary today with the missus. I must admit this relationship stuff is a lot easier in my 30's compared to my tragic failures in my 20's.
Coming up for a year with the Portuguese. We’re both fucking hopeless at relationships so we’re still taking things relatively slow and chill. First, I guess, proper adult relationship for both of us, and each of ours first for years. But it’s been the best time so far. We went to Portugal together a few weeks ago sans problem so yeah, all pretty sweet.
Portuguese friend!
I've realised I have a really bad neck fetish. Thinking about it, I really enjoy sinking my teeth into her neck. Kissing up the neck pieces while she strokes my wood. I could do it at all day. I think she has realised it too and probably thinks I'm a complete weirdo. It's fucked, lads.
It does not sound like a bad fetish to have compared to having a foot fetish? I don't understand that at all. The neck kissing is probably a gateway to all that other kinky world, so I should probably slow down.
I'm going to mention it to her today and see what she thinks about it.
This is how hammer started...
Neck kissing naturally leads to choking. :dc:
Kids have necks, the nonce.
:ae:
That’s the wrong black bloke Keeks. Bit racist.
TIL: neck kissing directly leads to paedophilia.
It’s a gateway kink.
I could be in a worse situation. Googling sexual fetishes has opened me up to a world, I never imagined existed.
Now, you don't punish anyone, Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs.
Was that meant for the job thread?
Simmer down Jimmy Saville.
That's the joke.
That makes it even better.
Remember that scenario I went through with the female and the baby. I saw her yesterday, pushing a dark skin baby that was probably at least one. Im not sure if it was hers or not, but hopefully it was. Even though there isnt any long term damage reported. I always think what happenes if they cant reproduce ever again after the 'operaation'. I dont speak to her anymore, but it reminded me that in order for things to work. You and her have to friends first. If you are not friends, you are never going to happy.
Why is Sincere typing like he’s just learnt the language?
The language of love.
I thought a bot had taken over the account.
Or she said she got the abortion but didn't, and in a couple of years you'll get a CS demand through the door.
my mate ( @mokbull met him) had a dramatic falling out with his then-girlfriend during first year of uni when she found out he'd cheated on her. she wrote "CHEATING SCUM CHEATING SCUM CHEATING SCUM" over and over again on his mirror with lipstick, then when they "reconciled" she secretly stopped taking the pill in an attempt to trap him. she did get pregnant and refused to abort, but thankfully for his sake the saga ended with the least tragic miscarriage of all time.
Is this the guy that went a bit bonkers on MD and then slept in my female flatmate's bed? I could see it
I'm just going to post this now before John comes in and attempt to school me. That literally was a figurative literally.
Saw her AGAIN. Must be some type of sign.
Well in sincere slip her a length
My mate just told us that he had a sex dream where he was having sex with a woman against a wall wearing tightly whities and midway he did a big solid poo and the woman leaned around and pushed it back in saying 'dont worry that happens to your dad all the time.'
Fucking howling
:D
lol
:D
Fucking hell.
The power of the imagination right there.
Going on a tinder date today. Hope I don't poo in my pants.
I hope you do.
Cunt
I'm still hoping he settles down with the mental Romanian.
Bet he's elbow deep in her right now
She was gonna drive over to mine and take us to a national trust property to walk around. In either a horrible piece of fate conspiring or a very elaborate lie that she's continued for hours with updates from insurance company etc, some old cunt smashed into her car! She's fine but the car is totally fucko. Poor gal.
Maybe she just wanted to fuck in a place of historical importance?
I would have taken an ice cream and some hand holding really. Girls are cool.
Shes at pride today. Messaged me saying she's got bud sniff and ket. Said wow, jeal, bring me back some XX. Then realised it wasn't her but a Sheffield dealer sending out a mass marketing text. Queue a series of missed calls and messages asking who the fuck I am, bruv and asking what im saying. Ooops.
:lol::lol::lol:
90% of the matches I'm getting on OKCupid are SJW fat fucks, all multi-coloured hair, shit piercings and tats. Might go back to the heady days of zero dignity and slay the lot.
Careful of Phonics won’t talk to you anymore.
That's pretty much all OKCupid is. It's very weird.
Yeah, a lot of those too but I guess that's up your street.
okc is just identity politics obsessed weirdos and pof is just dozy hairdressers. i think tinder is objectively the best by virtue of the number of people using it, unless you're in a big city then bumble is decent.
So, lads, am I right to be annoyed about this? Girl I shagging last summer is back in the midlands, and said LETS GO FOR A DRINK TONIGHT yesterday afternoon. I said sure, sounds good. Bumped into mutual friend who was like oh so you coming for drinks with me and girl later, "yeah i think so!". Girl just never fucking messaged me! I wouldn't have minded a lame last minute excuse if she decided she didn't want to, but she hasn't messaged me since yday afternoon.
I know it doesn't really matter cus I don't really want to shag her anymore, but it's just rude, ennit?
I *think* the social cue is you say “sure sounds good” and then suggest a time/place. She’s probably too anxious/awkward to make that next move herself, thinking you don’t really wanna hang out, so she dropped it
oh dum dum, i missed out the vital bit where after i agreed she said "okay i will message you when i finish work and i'm ready etc :) " ooops. so yeah it was very much in her court.
Did you respond to that one with a message?
Are you autistic?
ye just a thumbs up which seemed appropriate considering the context
Yee so she probably likes you and was testing the waters to see if you were still into it and you didnt bite so she dropped it
i feel like i've just made a hash of explaining my shit anecdote rather than actually spazzing up the interaction itself. maybe i left out some more important, excruciatingly boring details
she originally said lets go for drink on saturday, i said yeah that sounds nice, then she said oh wait actually tonight (friday) would be better, and i said yeah that actually works better for me as i've got nothing planned this evening and it would be nice to see you, THEN she said okay i'll let you know the time, i said (Y), then she never messaged after that
i'm pretty sure that's not a case of me being autistic/not seeming keen enough.