The ULTRAMEGA Summer 2017 Transfers and Rumours Thread [featuring THE MIGHTY BLADES]

Lmfao Offshore do you think negging all of my posts does anything but make my dick erect?

Waste more of your time you silly bitch :drool:

edit: Kiko we don't use "Man U" you know that smh

Making dicks erect is exactly the purpose of negging, as taught by Mert in the relationship thread.

Keep up, brah.

Here's another post to neg, Offshore.

Bruh I love your opinion on transfers bro. Most people would have thought it looks like opinions a granny might have but I think they really suit you.

You're nearly on 1337 posts. :cool:

Robbie Keane has joined his boyhood club, Atletico de Kolkata, to play for Teddy Sheringham.

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Originally Posted by bruhnaldo

This same website used to tell me I was being a "typical American" years ago because I cared about overspending on players because "who cares about transfer fees?! they haven't even come close to spending ThE RoNAlDo MoNEy! it's not your money is it?!" but now that I want the club to spend all the money they've bragged about having ("LoOk At OuR FanCy AdidaS mOnEy!") I'm still just a "typical American".

and lollerfuckinskates at "who cares about the transfer window?" I mean half of you have made "I don't think I even care about football" posts in the past 2-3 years so you can get to fuck trying to act like wanting better players in key positions is some sort of crime. The other half of you have lamented how boring United play whilst yearning for "tHe UnItED WaY" for years.

It's hardly as if I'm sat at home throwing things at my pets, I was just venting. You all really have to come off that high horse.

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The 'typical American' thing isn't based on what you think, it's how you put it across. Everything is at the extreme, the end of the world. When Manchester United were overspending in your eyes it was was the death of the club, now they're spending more than anyone but because one club made one deal that put you in the shade it's the death of the club, and you're 'mad' about it.

As I pointed out before, since Woodward made the statement that set light to your undercrackers you've broken the world transfer record, specific world transfer records in three positions, and the transfer record for a teenager, as well as doing 'what other clubs can only dream of' in keeping a player who wanted to go to Madrid and who Madrid wanted. If he'd said those things and you'd signed a couple of kids from the lower leagues, that would be your Honda Civic. As it is you're complaining because your Bentley is two shades lighter than you wanted.

Fair enough. I am known to apply a lot of hyperbole I suppose. Sorry fellas.

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Originally Posted by Mazuuurk

Lindelöf will win you the league, shut up and be happy you have the Wolds Best Defender.

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I didn't know he played for Swindon town

Sigh. I'll do better one day I guess.

'Watch this space.'

Spurs are on course to sign their first player of the window, a 3rd string keeper named Gazzaniga. Fantastic piece of business, will really help keep us in the title race I think.

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Originally Posted by Lewis

'Watch this space.'

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http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...69/418/829.gif

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Originally Posted by mokbull

Spurs are on course to sign their first player of the window, a 3rd string keeper named Gazzaniga. Fantastic piece of business, will really help keep us in the title race I think.

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I'd just taken to paint with this name as inspiration, but perhaps not the best thing to tie myself to online in this day and age :uhoh:

Black Gascoigne? Yeah, don't bother.

Would have been an absolute classic and you know it.

It would have been Gascoigne either on a plantation or walking out of KFC in FUBU gear, and you know it.

Like I said, absolute classic.

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Originally Posted by McAvennie

I didn't know he played for Swindon town

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Didn't want this to go unappreciated.

What a career. Valencia, Gillingham, Southampton, Spurs. 12 appearances off Stuart Taylor.

Barcelona are going to spaff £120 million on Dembele from Dortmund now to replace Neymar. I'll laugh my head off if he goes there and wins the Ballon d'Or while Neymar is pissing about in France putting four past Lorient as the world shrugs.

All of the Dembele's are pretty good. Someone should sign them all for a laugh.

I've had to revise my view that Tarrier Dembele will be scoring goals in the Premiership before long. He started last season like a train with that hat trick against us, but it wasn't fully apparent at that point just how shite we were going to be. He got seven league goals in the first month of the season, then ten over the rest of it. He seems to have plateaued.

I thought there was another Dembele until I Googled Tarrier. :D

Shame, he was looking promising at Fulham.

You could probably just buy Dortmund for ninety and transfer his contract across.

Someone is going to sign the wrong Dembele at some point. Probably someone in China.

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

All of the Dembele's are pretty good. Someone should sign them all for a laugh.

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Yep. Is there a white equivalent?

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Originally Posted by Magic

Yep. Is there a white equivalent?

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Cole is probably the closest I can think of. There's not even a decent Smith, is there?

Edit: and the best Cole isn't even white. :face:

Gotta be the various latin americans that go by Martinez, Hernandez and the likes.

Didn't Everton already do that with those cbs from italy. Scouted one and then spunked 5 mill on his partner at the back by accident who lasted less than 6 months.

You thinking of Per Kroldrup? I'm not sure he was the result of them signing the wrong man, and certainly not of an error in nomenclature.

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Originally Posted by John

You thinking of Per Kroldrup? I'm not sure he was the result of them signing the wrong man, and certainly not of an error in nomenclature.

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It seems to be an urban myth.

https://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum...topic=104595.0

Can't seem to find anything else.

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Originally Posted by Foe

Didn't Everton already do that with those cbs from italy. Scouted one and then spunked 5 mill on his partner at the back by accident who lasted less than 6 months.

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Sunderland have done that, obviously. Signed a South American called Nunez who turned out to be a hopeless midget. I can't remember who it was we were meant to be getting.

His partners at Udinese would have been Felipe and/or Roberto Sensini, and it's hard to see how anyone could have mixed those up.

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Originally Posted by John

Barcelona are going to spaff £120 million on Dembele from Dortmund now to replace Neymar. I'll laugh my head off if he goes there and wins the Ballon d'Or while Neymar is pissing about in France putting four past Lorient as the world shrugs.

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Surely even your average idiot modern footballer can't possibly think anybody's going to care about a single achievement in the French league. Outside the Champions League and World Cup he now basically doesn't exist, other than as a black hole for money,

In fairness it worked for Zlatan for awhile there.

Sky's two breaking news bits in the last hour are that Coutinho would move to Barcelona if they can 'amicably' agree a deal with Liverpool, and also that Ousmane Dembele 'wants to move to Barcelona' and that while Dortmund have said they won't sell, £90m might do it.

Would Barca want or need both? I'm thinking one of them is going to be left disappointed.

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Originally Posted by bruhnaldo

In fairness it worked for Zlatan for awhile there.

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Zlatan could have achieved a lot more by just bypassing that little stage and going straight to a big PL team, though, at the time.

As things stand, all he really has to show for it now are a bunch of Ligue 1 league titles which isn't really the mark of greatness I think he wanted to crown his career with.

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Originally Posted by Weaver

Sky's two breaking news bits in the last hour are that Coutinho would move to Barcelona if they can 'amicably' agree a deal with Liverpool, and also that Ousmane Dembele 'wants to move to Barcelona' and that while Dortmund have said they won't sell, £90m might do it.

Would Barca want or need both? I'm thinking one of them is going to be left disappointed.

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Neither by themselves would replace Neymar in any way. One is seen as a right winger and the other as a CAM. If Barcelona do want to do well out of this they need to sign Coutinho plus 1 attacker. Someone like Mbappe would be great, but they may have to spend a ridiculous amount for a player with 1 season behind him.

Failing that they could sign someone like Dembele or Dybala on top and try to have a fluid front line without set positions.

Barcelona need to bring sanchez back at 26/1.

Edit: Its now at 8

If they've got the whole €222m to spend they should get Coutinho/someone else to go in Neymar's slot, and an Iniesta replacement as well.

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Has anyone watched much of PSV in the last couple seasons? We've signed Davy Pröpper off them.

He's your everyday box to box motherfucker.

Barcelona still end up weaker regardless of whatever combination of signings you can come up with. Donned into oblivion.

I don't think they properly recover from here for a while. Too many missing pieces. They'll be signing Zenden and Cocu regens before you know it.

They've lost the plot a bit since whenever it was they started believing their own hype (or when Xavi's legs went).

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Originally Posted by Lewis

Barcelona still end up weaker regardless of whatever combination of signings you can come up with. Donned into oblivion.

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Exactly. He doesn't really have an equivalent so their entire model is fucked. Good, fuck them.

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Originally Posted by Mellberg

I don't think they properly recover from here for a while. Too many missing pieces. They'll be signing Zenden and Cocu regens before you know it.

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They'll go through the Gravesen/Drenthe spell shortly.

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

Neither by themselves would replace Neymar in any way. One is seen as a right winger and the other as a CAM.

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He plays down the right for Dortmund because they have Reus and Schurrle filling the left, but he's equally comfortable on both sides.

I see Virgil has paved his way for a transfer to the city of Liverpool.

If I was Barcelona I would - having signed a top, top midfielder - either just attempt a soon to be replacement with Kylian Mbappe, or go for Sergio Aguero and let the other two do what they want behind/outside him.