What age are you? I wouldn't have placed you much older than that tbh.
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What age are you? I wouldn't have placed you much older than that tbh.
24, the Mrs is 29.
Don't see much of an issue with a 24 year old and 21 year old seeing each other.
Women out-live men by four years (is it?), so he'll also die before she needs looking after. Perfect.
The difference between 24 and 21 seems pretty equivalent to that between 24 and 29. Go on, son.
I had a brilliant, vivid nocturnal emission last night. Basically I had a dream a really sexy ex-colleague had left auto upload on her Facebook so uploaded really sexy fucking pics. So I downloaded them all to wank over. I woke up to find my raging cock bursting out of my boxers and a massive splat on the quilt. I shamefully made my way to the bathroom but there wasn't that much to clean up. I pulled the duvetjizz on to me so it dried quickly. This way the wife wouldn't think I was being a pervert and wanking in the middle of the night next to her.
Hands free orgasms. :drool:
I've decided to man up and work at the relationship. If it goes south, I'm sure there's plenty of 21 year old dime peices who'll jump on my cock.
Eagerly awaiting your dry run and wet dream posts, mate. :wave:
At least his won't end up in court.
Ouch!
It's been two weeks of trying and I'm rapidly realising thing's aren't going to improve. I've got the funds to jump ship now. Won't be too long till I move in with Foe.
She didn't put out for Valentine's Day then?
I'd say she'll end up over the moon if you do.
I hate the phrase "put out".
*makes note to use it more*
I can tell she's past caring, but because she's a toxic, bitter, aging lump of mass she'd rather die than end the relationship.
Just nice to think of sex as something enjoyed equally between genders, rather than a service women reluctantly provide for the pleasure of men.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
But I guess that's just the Men's rights activist in me talking.
:D
Well played.
Why don't you end it then you coward?
It kind of sounds like his ego is being stroked by being the domineering one in the relationship and keeping her in a state.
He has a point.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
A combination of fear of the unknown and belief that all is not lost.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Sounds like you're almost as bad as her then.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Possibly. It's fucking tough.
Your posts on the matter make you come across as a right horrible cunt, so you should decide either way before the next WDYTOE.
Well lassie I was seeing got pictured and subsequently FB'd mimicing giving a blowjob to a guy on Friday night.
Happy Valentines day.
At least the main event wasn't filmed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy
Outside, yeah.
Yep, silver lining and all that :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Just casual flirting. Sounds like you're the jealous, controlling type Chrissy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
lol at thisQuote:
Originally Posted by Manc
What does this actually mean? Somebody took a picture of her "mimicking" a blowjob and posted it to Facebook? I'd assume clothes on mimicry was a joke before jumping to anything else, but then you're the only one with any knowledge of context here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy
Aye Toby, the context was she was on stage having a jape.
To post something nice for a change, i am really happy in this relationship. Seen this person for a couple of months last year and now we are making a good go of it now this year. Very happy and content taking things slowly and enjoying life. Feel like I am going out with a good friend as well as a lover. Have alot of laughter and good times. So I very much doubt i'll be posting any things of a negative nature on this thread.
Is she a comedian too? Was this part of her set? I don't get the problem if so.
Wait until she mimics triple BBC penetration on stage though.
Aye she is and it was improvised by her. I was just being a fud mentioning it on here. I was laughing myself when I saw the footage back.Quote:
Originally Posted by Toby
Might be meeting up with a lass from the fet scene on Friday, which will be interesting. I suggested a quiet drink in town but she's now said she's got now money and just has a bottle of rum to her name, so I’ve suggested she come around here. Think she's keen but not had a definite either way. I'm not fussed about a relationship with her based on what I know about her, but she is really hot so I'd wanna explore stuff with her. Gonna have to be transparent about it from the off really.
Hammer, call me naive, but is fet scene fetish yeah? If so, how is that defined? Is it certain acts or behaviour? Dressing etc? Genuinely not got a clue, intrigued.
Fet is short for fetlock. She is a horse.
I'm surprised she got served for that rum, so well played.
Yeah, fetish scene. Its a community of people who have alternative sexual interests, basically. There are clubs where those interests can actually be explored in practice, social media where you can meet and chat to people with similar interests (Google 'fetlife'), and munches where people in the scene meet in a normal setting, with normal clothes, for a chat about whatever. Munches are better for newbies.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy
So basically, if youre curious about something that you want to try out, the odds are there'll be someone on the scene who's into it and who might oblige. Its often BDSM related but it doesn't have to be. There's no particular clothing as such although club nights can have a dress code. At a munch though, other than the generally quite alternative fashion sense you wouldn't guess who they were.
People in the scene are generally extremely open minded and liberal, although as you might expect many are also a bit strange. I started going out of curiosity to see something a bit different but people are generally very friendly and I've made a few friends through it, and I've ended up exploring a fair bit too.
The more I chat to people and read about the psychology of sexuality and things like that, the more I'm convinced that the majority of people have fantasies that they find a bit strange and uncomfortable, and that the biggest difference about the people on the scene isn't so much what they're into but rather the fact they've decided to explore it instead of burying it.
But yeah, happy to answer and questions anyway.
We're going to the gym :cab:. Bit random but she's got some free passes apparently. She wants to go for a swim and to use the jacuzzi.
fetlife ahahhahahahahaha.
soz
This isn't going to end well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
You're probably going to get bummed into oblivion by a 17 stone, leather-clad hairy fucker called Jim, more like.
Jim sounds like a right laugh.
At least the Jacuzzi water will provide some level of lubrication.
Well, my jizz works :happycry:
Congrats mate. :) :clap:
Let me know when you want to elope with me and fuck off as far away as possible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pTPHU2g4WsQuote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
Leeeefooooo Bizzoooooooo is so bad.
'I'm kind of already going to the gym tonight, so...'
'.....'
'I've got a free pass and... You know. I don't really want to waste it.'
'Alright. Yeah.'
'.....'
'.....'
'.....'
'You just gonna swim or...'
'You can come if you want.'
'Oh yeah. Yeah. Definitely.'
:D Nicely played Barry.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
"Munch." How disconcerting.
Sometimes I just wish i hadn't asked something. Thanks for the reply though Hammer. Eyes opened up a bit to life.
Jacuzzi and all that was tricky as we were chatting and she'd be looking damn fine in her swimsuit and i had to be careful what I paid attention to because I was only wearing swimming shorts.
Went for food and a few drinks after, and she's coming around to my gaff with her rum next week. Looking good.
So this has now utterly disappeared from her behavior, and the teachers have said she's been fantastic every single day. Woop. That's been coming up for 3 months.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
:happycry: Seen some promising stuff you've posted on fb, good work MJ. Can you adopt me, my behaviour is worse than ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Of course. I'd be more inclined to (sexually) abuse an adopted child, though.
But also, I think we're fantastic parents, especially when you see some of the little cunts there are out there. It's hard as fuck.
There are so many people who think it is up to teachers to teach kids once they get to school, so parents can do whatever the fuck they want. The vast majority of your education in growing up into being a responsible person comes from your family, which I suppose explains why there are so many retards around. Good job Magic, and I hope you enjoyed the princess dresses.
Nicely.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
You can thank us all for our advice later.
:harold:Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco
Lass I'm seeing mentioned yesterday that she has sometimes sold her used underwear on www.kinkie.co.uk
She sold a set for £70 quite recently. Looks like a tidy little money earner, that. There's some disgusting shit on there though. Apparently the price goes up if you've worn it more without washing it.
Dad of the year. :cool:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...dren-make.html
No, this isn't 'kids being kids', this is kids being cunts thanks to your shit parenting lol!
Hark at Magic thinking he's dad of the year now his daughter has stopped smashing other kids' faces in.
The little cunts have clearly been put up to much of that by their attention seeking wanker parents. Poor fuckers don't stand a chance.
How did that third one reach the top corners of the screen? How did the fourth one reach the telly at all?
Sometimes I struggle to get the lid off those Sudocrem tubs so nice one, that lad.
So I'm going to propose again next month and properly this time. Don't really have a clue to go about it. Might go for something standard.
Propose again? I've clearly missed something. Do explain.
I did it last time after a bottle of whiskey and no ring.
Fucking hell I thought she said yes?
You inept twat. :D
She did say yes. But it wasn't the romantic moment it should have been for her I imagine. So going to do it again but better.
Two bottles of whiskey?
And steal one of her existing rings.
Just asked the wife if she knew what song Shakespeare Lyrics posted on Twitter. She gorped at it blankly then said:
'You idiot...that's not a song, it's Shakespeare!'
:facepalm:
Also Virgin just tweeted me to say domestic violence is not the answer to their services not working. :D
What had you said to provoke that?
I was going to have to chin the wife to get the telly back because their TV anywhere wasn't working. Tagged Branson anorl. He probably instructed them to contact me. Half expecting Rozzers at the door.
She'll use that in the custody case.
I have nowhere else to post my parenting vitriol so I apologise in advance, but:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35803414
Some mong complaining he got done for leaving his 2 year old daughter in a car for 5 minutes on her own. Quite fucking right. It'll only take a nonce to smash the window and steal her for cunts like this to realise the err of their ways.
The contrast between some of the posts in this thread :D. Here we have Magic flexing his parenting muscles; not long ago we got stories of Hammer's "fetlife" creepiness.
I totally agree, it takes 30 seconds to get them out and back in, the alternative is too terrifying to consider. I mean imagine having to explain that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
My mother in law is currently reviewing various menopause relief products on Facebook in great detail. What a horrible cunt.
I got engaged last week :uhoh:
Hurrah!
Congrats.
:(
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...dce901def0.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Raoul Duke
Ital is female confirmed.
What's more concerning is that the 'f' and 'j' on that card are exactly the same and yet they expect us to take it seriously.
RD well in dude.
I am currently dating the girl of my dreams. So I am exceptionally happy.
It will all turn to shit soon enough though, don't worry lads.
Thanks chaps :thbup:
So I slept on the sofa again last night (much to the dismay of my back). It's gotten to the stage where my hate is almost matching the love for my daughter. Is life supposed to be like this? Desolate. Never go it
Never go with someone that has nothing in common with you, it just isn't worth it. Too much effort. Opposites do not attract, for fuck sake. I'm really not cut out for this relationship shit. The thought of failing my child 7 years before my dad failed us is mighty concerning.
CSA, step dad, step mum, weekends, flat, shit shit shit, family rows, new grandparents. What have I done. What have we done. Why can it not just fucking work.
P.s all the best Dukey.
You're probably failing her more by having her live in a house with two parents who hate one another. Kids see that shit.
Quite. If your daughter's 7 and things with your relationship with the missus remain as they are now you've absolutely no chance of seeing out the next 11 years without the sprog noticing that her home environment is more than a bit crap.
Got engaged yesterday. Now I have to traverse the tricky subject of insisting on a prenup so my complete Italia 90 sticker album is buried with me.
Congrats Wullie :wub:
Congratulations wullie. When's the wedding day?
Rip.
Nice one :thbup:
When's she due? :henn0rz:
Congrats dude.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
Aiming for the end of summer, just taking immediate family away somewhere as I've seen what a nightmare it is to arrange a full-blown thing. She's not in the club yet, but it'd better be a boy when it happens so I've got an excuse to buy Scalextric.
You can buy scalextric for a lass, 21st century nowadays
No can do, if it's a girl that's my excuse to buy One Direction merchandise.
Congratulations Wullie.
Well done.
Congratulations, Wullie.
Aaw Wullie
Congrats Wullie, although don't let her take you away from us. We were here first.
Also holy shit, @Dela is back.
Nice one Wullie.
-
Had the first baby scan this week. Very weird to see this 55mm object looking eerily well-formed, heart beating, limbs flailing. Still currently looking forward to it.
Congrats lads.
Everyone seems to be maturing but I'm still happy eating jelly for dinner and falling asleep on the couch under my slanket watching rom coms.
I'm still single.
I'm getting civilly married on the 9th of June before the REAL JESUS wedding on the 23rd of July. It's coming about pretty quickly so the next few months will probably be hectic and expensive. Our wedding planners are trying to charge us 3000 euros for the flowers, gtfo.
The hardest part of my arranging seems to be confirming the days off work and deciding which kilt to wear.
Wedding planners?
:D
It's useful as we're having a wedding abroad so they sort it. And I'm not paying for it so it bothers me less.
Single life really is the absolute pits.
Stop making the grass look shit, mate.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
I think I agree. I'll be alone for the next three months. It's been two days and I'm already bored as fuck.
Having to cook your own meals. :sick:
At least your have your cats, Pepe.
I might invest in a dog.
.....
I'm utterly smitten with a female friend who has a boyfriend and have been for about 4 months. Pretty irritiating, though in some ways unrequited frustration beats bleak nothingness which was what i had for the previous year or so.
An ugly bint on OkCupid has randomly messaged me this morning. Ignored.
She's messaged me again tonight though saying she's got a spare ticket to go see Derren Brown and if I want to go with her. Tempted.
Smitten is such a fuck off and die expression.
So single it hurts. As in, after an initial flurry of shags last summer, my winter was cold and lonely (if admittedly still social and fun).
I've had a few really quite nice looking lasses crack on recently and I've been a complete tool, ranging from 'do I know you from somewhere?'
No
'Are you sure - house party?'
No. Not a house party.
'Ah ok, so...' Queue 10 min chat where I give one word answers between banging on about the lass in the band that's playing.
To
'So hey what you guys all doing here?' Leaning on my shoulder suggestively.
The fuck does it look like - a teddy bears picnic?
And then the lass that I actually managed great hour long chat and flirt with that invited me to her birthday party.
Blew it off to watch a punk gig with a man.
Genuine full blow retard around women now :face:
You used to be so good as well, what with nearly giving your house away to apologise for being cheated on.
Better than 'married'!!! ...maybeQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Merse ending up with a rebel punk bloke 10 years younger than him is the next logical step.
Merse is dishy from memory. You'll be fine.
It is easy to read a post like Merse's and make the sarcky 'oh yeah would be well shit to have women bibterested you' post but I'm going to rise above hate and wish you the best of luck.
.....
Where's she from, then?
Funny thing is, the more single I get (we're verging on 9 months since the last fling), the more picky I become... Feminist, at least conscious of the 'green' and animal rights benefits of vegetarianism (I'm very much a weekday vegan these days), does not enjoy prosecco... Preferably with a nose ring and at least one item of clothing originating from Morocco. Laughable really. Oh well.
Shit man, done the getting with a housemate thing before... Can get rather messy but good luck.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
:gay:Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
.....
Sounds more like the description of a stereotypical homosexual than a woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Merse
:D
The sailor tattoo has got into his blood.
Strangest requirement list I've ever seen.
I'm keen to hear the animal rights benefits of vegetarianism as well. Don't they just not exist in that dystopia?
Drinking Prosecco as a turn off :D
What the fuck is wrong with Prosecco? You are a weirdo, Merse.
What difference could it possibly make?
Laughable is a fucking understatement Merse. That is the craziest thing I've ever read.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Merse
Standards rising into unattainable realms is something I fear for my future.
I've got some old flame coming round on Friday. See how that pans out.
Drunkenness did lead to unnecessary specificity on pretty much all counts, but it gets across the gist. There's a certain breed of 'prosecco with my girlies xxx #chink' lasses (the ex was one to be fair) that I can't be arsed with in the slightest but who seem to account for a huge swathe of the single 25+ population.Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco
Sounds like 7om's wife.
Yeah, really fucking hate those cows that have friends.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Merse
:rosebud:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
That post has just confused me more. It's a bit like hating people called Dave because you were bullied by one at school.
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
I like the idea of casual racism as a beverage salutation.
Given some of the low wattage nonsense Merse has posted recently it doesn't seem impossible that his breakup has driven him to heroin. Rational thought must be one of the first things out the window when you reach that point.
You'll be tarred with this one for life Merse, should know better than to bother.
It's still nowhere near arguing that spaghetti is exclusively for posers, so pipe down.
Not at all what was said, but that proves my point quite well.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
If the point is that people will remember when you say stupid things and may bring them up in future then yes, I've proved it for you. Happily.
And it's almost exactly what was said. You specifically referenced people eating spaghetti 'for show' at one point, and people eating spaghetti to 'feel like something they're not' copped it as well. Do those words mean something different in Ireland?
I was going to venture earlier in the thread that the prosecco thing was probably something along those lines. I can kinda see where he's coming from, to be fair.
#chink can't be real.
Surely it's #clink?
Or #ching.
Hashtags are the worst thing about modern society.
#preach
I'm not saying it's by association with the ex, and in fact - it's really not, more like a couple of dates I had with the 'type'. Not fun.Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
Glad some has as opposed to simply making it about the great meltdown of April-May 15.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
As it happens, no real feelings on that front anymore, it's just a matter of fact and I definitely haven't daydreamed of setting the other guy on fire for about 8 or 9 months.
Should be fine to be honest, I'm just a bit rusty and also could probably do with breaking my rule of avoiding under-25's, you know since I look about 12 or so and I hang out at punk clubs, skate board tucked into rucksack. I might need to stretch to 21+. Plus it took a while to get a good social life going in the new territory and I spent a lot of weekends away up until Jan or so, since then - particularly the last 3 months, it's been a bit of a social blur with a lot of new friends and plenty of going out meeting people so I'm actually more exposed to the opposite sex and slowly dropping less clangers.
I'll feel much more assured this weekend as there's a quite massive new tat going on and for some reason gooey shitty bloody stuff emerging from underneath cling film seems to attract women better than anything I've ever encountered otherwise.
'How do you do, fellow kids?'
Yeah, I see where that looks bad.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
There's plenty of beardy 30 somethings like the people I'm with normally, just... Anyway...
Digging and holes has been a fairly regular thing in my time here. I see this is another one of those occasions.
.....
Don't drag me into this shitfest.
This was dope.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Also my girlfriend temporarily broke up with me because I didn't go to her graduation from Duke or send any flowers or whatever it is she expected me to do. Part of the 'problem' was that I told her to fuck off and stop being needy and refused to apologize; I literally finished exams the day before and had to literally move in two days. But then it escalated into a far deeper discussion about what she wants from the relationship and our future* and I realized that maybe, for the first time in a long time, I'm not sure if she's the one anymore.
*intractable disagreements about how to raise future children and where to live, with her refusing to compromise and just wanting to replicate the stupid mistakes of her parents and me offering objective improvements that she cannot emotionally accept
That literally sucks dude.
Jk, I guess it doesn't.
How long have you been apart? It was doomed to failure anyway, wasn't it?
One of my best friends said that he's down for a long-term relationship with his tiny Persian girlfriend, who's a year younger than us (but looks about 12). He's going to school in LA, too. Damn.
Just call her Iranian ffs, saying Persia makes you sound like a twat.
.....
A year now. I guess so, still kinda sucks because she was literally wife material, honestly has a lot to do with her (single, lonely, miserable) 'friends' corrupting her with feminist fantasies about how she deserves to be treated as a strong independent woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Being treated as a person would have been a step up, in fairness.
Do we have pictures anywhere?
Just imagine a tubby turk with a slightly goomy face and that's mert.
I like that Mert started to doubt she was 'the one' only after she'd binned him off for being a wanker.
This is what we've been warning you about since you first read 'The Game', Mert.
http://s32.postimg.org/n10p4pjnp/216...03585450_n.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Anyways I think I fixed it with a few days of sustained charm and wit, tempered with a self-deprecating apologetic theme.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
You're a serial killer deep down, aren't you?
Because I have self-awareness and can see through, manipulate and mock the transparent veneer of civility overlaying effectively instinctually grounded social interactions?Quote:
Originally Posted by 7om
If you ever experienced even thirty seconds of actual self awareness you'd probably immolate yourself. Absent the part about self awareness what you've written there is probably in a textbook somewhere in a chapter about sociopathy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
You look like siblings.
I said he was a sociopath about 5 years ago and got lolled at. He most definitely is, and will probably end up being very successful because of it.
Myself, Floyd, maybe Boydy, and several others have been saying the same thing for years. I remember you saying it, but I don't remember you being lolled at for it. If anything half the board would have been agreeing with you.
Certainly weren't, but never mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
...parklife!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
:D
This thread is going to be considered as material evidence in a few months time when he finally does crack.
Magic and Lee better start deleting there posts then.
Iv'e had a good 2016. Been in a fun relationship with someone who I was friends with for 3 years before we started dating.
So no horrific tales to tell.
Mert's only hope is that they are left on here so he can claim mitigating circumstances.Quote:
Originally Posted by leedsrevolution
On that note, have you guys heard of 'peacocking' where a guy wears certain items of clothes like a scarf etc to catch a womans attention. Had a fellow comic/sleazebag tell us about this the other day, which I'm proud to say we all took the cunt out of him for in the car trip. Sounds like a Mert thing, i.e. being a pick up artist and all.
Only been like a week and I'm already tired of the 'single life,' mostly having to cook for myself. Only three more months to go.
:D so good.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I don't understand. :(
EDIT: Nevermind, Google has set me straight.
Igor was flying this morning.
Got a severely autistic kid's birthday party tomorrow.
No other words needed really.
They're all fucking autistic. I've 9 of the little shitbags to deal with tomorrow.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I just refused to go and there was No reaction. :drool:
She's going to make her escape tomorrow.
You can't skip your own birthday party! Come on now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I lolled.
I want to go actually, I'll bring my protective padding in case he has a behaviour.
Yes, I employ the normal human version of that approach otherwise known as 'dressing well.' I overall have very mixed feelings about 'pick up artists' (the vast majority of whom are emotionally damaged overcompensating creepy sleeze balls); the insights into female psychology / attraction, message of self-improvement, upholding principles of dignity and masculinity, and overcoming insecurity and adversity is genuinely very positive and thereaputic in a general sense, the vast majority of the actual material, attitudes, acceptable behaviors and outright fraud involved in the 'industry' however, is discomforting and leaves a bad after taste.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy
Main take away: make yourself more attractive, don't be a pussy, go out and get rejected until you're better at talking to women
Never has anyone spoke so much and said so little.
Fucking hell the bitch's friend has come round unannounced to moan about her paedo future husband and her cunt offspring. Just what I wanted after a cumbersome day at work and having to make tea for my parents.
Interesting that the relationship thread has turned into the "things that fuck you off" thread for Magic.
Went on a lovely date with a cup of tea coloured lady last night. Seeing her again on Tuesday and she might be coming over to my gaff next week :drool:
The old flame flaked on me last night. Disappointing, but I got two numbers around town. Both pearlers.
How does one go about turning a number into a date? I'm so rusty at this shit.
First port of call is to search the number on Facebook to make sure they're not drunk-only "pearlers."
I've got them on WhatsApp, all is well.
I've just made a very big mistake in fucking my ex.
Hopefully you've knocked her up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Did you shout mum by mistake?Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
I predict suicide by year end.
Assuming that is the most recent ex and not the one you were trying to instigate the other night?
Correct. I snuck off into the night, so tomorrow should be interesting.
Love of my life is leaving for London, never to return at the weekend. We're off out for drinks to say goodbye (a few of us) and I think there's a half-decent chance I'll tell her I love her after a few drinks.
I think she vaguely knows I'm interested but not quite to that extent.
Which love of your life is this one?
New one. She works at a counselling place I volunteer at. She's great.
Lass I went out with last week I'm not so bothered about now. Fickle as hell. This lass at my placement is someone I've liked for a few months though.
Fickle, yeah?
Yeah.
How's your love life going? Your mum treating you well?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRrl2vDgJGk
Lewis would be a catch for any woman.
He's only gone and bantered you off there Lewy boy.
Because he lives with his mum!Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
HAHAHA!!!
Yeah, but I've got more posts than him.
She's great.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
Toggle Spoiler
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
That's something you'd hear in Year 9.
Actually I made a hash of that, as Hammer was asking more specifically about how she treats Lew, not how she is in general. If you come at the king you best not miss.
One of her hen parties today so had a message off one of her mates, asking me to answer ten questions. I guess she has to guess my answers, cos apparently she has to have a shot for every wrong answer. (That a girl.) Anyway, what a load of toss:
1. If you were to be a cartoon character, who would you be?
2. Where was your first job?
3. What is your shoe size?
4. What is [whatshername]'s favourite alcoholic drink?
5. If [yer missus] was on a desert island what three items would she pack?
6. What is your favourite food?
7. Where was your first date?
8. Describe [her indoors] in 3 words...
9. Who is the better driver?
10. What is your favourite thing about [your bird]?
1. Coyote (always a victim?)
2. Safe way
3. 9
4. Bombay Saffire
5. Make up, mirror, mobile
6. Lasagne
7. Brewdog
8. fuck the dee
9. Baz
10. Supportive
Did I win
Haha.
1 I had no clue so said Ash Ketchum
2 some opticians
3 9
4 gin
5 suncream, nail polish, gin
6 I don't have one
7 some pub
8 fit funny shithouse
9 her
10 her boyfriend
Wait, Baz has a girlfriend?
He's getting married soon.
I still can't get my head round it.
I have to do a similar thing except on video which makes it so much worse. Other peoples' weddings are so much easier than your own.
Please post the video here. :D
And c'mon Mahow, I'm not you.
I've not got to do any of that nonsense thankfully. Her hen has been and gone and my stag is towards the end of June.
8 or 9 weeks to go. :)
This thread is sickening.
I thought you were already married.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kikó
You thought wrong!!
Fuck. We really are all getting old.
Really happily married thinking about it. So great having your soul mate all the time. Have a great day Kiko and Baz. May your lives be full and long.
Can sense the underlying seethe from here.
I'm sure Manc knows he'll find someone eventually.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
:harold:
I'm on the verge of a breakdown. :face:
:drool:
I just remembered something really shit we did when we moved in together after 6 months. You know on shit films where a couple has died or gone missing early on, and it always pans in their house with someone leaving a message on their answering machine and it's a really corny, lovely joint message with them laughing and it's obvious how much they love each other blah blah blah.
We did that, but it wasn't a genuine one off attempt, it took us a fair while. :D
What great times they were.
An answerphone? Have you been together since the 80s?
Closest I've done is add her as a second user on Netflix.
I've got a Two Together Railcard. That was a big step.
Voicemail then, you cunt.Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
Do you share a mobile phone?
I bet they share an email address.
I know a few couples with shared facebook accounts.
I know a couple where one doesn't care for social media so she took on the mantle and has created a fake Facebook account where she posts as him. She does the same for the dog.
Facebook accounts for pets is the absolute nadir of modern society. Well, except for that fucking fake twitter page for the Queen. Die.
She sounds too mental to be in an adult relationship, Phonics. That's the behaviour of someone who'll strangle a family one day.
People who create Facebook pages for pets are the same people who write the dog's name in Christmas cards. Wankers, in short.
My uncle signs his Christmas cards from him and his cats but he's a lovely weirdo rather than a wanker. He also calls me 'sambo' as an affectionate nickname. I don't have the heart to tell him to stop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
:sherlock:Quote:
Originally Posted by GS
I think we've reached peak nadir.
NADIR OF THE BOARD imminent.
And there it is.
He should be commended on using the board as an opportunity for learning and advancement. The rest of you take note.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
The women who claims she knows nothing, knows everything.
There's my speech covered.
I made out with my friend's ex-girlfriend the other night and it looks like we're going to go out over the summer. Good times.
How many bases?
Her tongue's probably been up your mate's arse, Spoon.
And mine's been up your sister's, what's it to you?
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
Girl must have a golden vagina.
Mormon gone rogue :cool:
Bitchslapped by the 7 year old, how the mighty have fallen.
That's fucked up and a desperate mans move. I hope he's not a close friend because he will never forgive you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
Regardless, it is urgently necessary for the psyche of a young male to get laid before going to college and develop some experience. So good for you.
Spoon. :cool:
The romance shines through when you mention wanting to 'smash her' for sure.
You're heading towards the wrong type of 3-way Spoon.
For a while I've been as good friends with her as I am with him. He's started hooking up with someone else. He doesn't own her, and whether he forgives me or not is up to him. We're all going to college soon and he's not one of my best friends so it'll be ok, though I am trying to figure out how to tell him.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
It's a bit of dick move so do it somewhere he can't take a swing at you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
We've got his back. Who has this other dickhead got?
Snapchat him while you're inside.
No he doesn't own her, but it's a scum bag slut move on her part (lol if you think she isn't doing it at least partially to get back at him) and an incredibly shitty opportunistic move on your part. It shows that you are unable to get with other girls and you will settle for another mans sloppy seconds; don't think she doesn't see that and factor that into how attracted she is to you. That she acquiesces to all of this should serve as a warning as to how loyal she will be in the future to you; any girl who participates in that sort of behavior is absolutely not worth any sort of emotional or long-term investment. She will 100% monkey branch to the next better guy who comes along.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
But again, you need to get laid to be less shitty. So go ahead and practice. Be under no illusions as to what's happening though.
My mate is married to someone who another mate fingered (maybe even "licked out" and got a blowy) on holiday, and then shagged a couple times after the holiday.
It's just wrong.
An ex-colleague got married to a bloke who's brother she'd shagged in a local park after a night out on the piss. Madness.
Even Betas eventually get married once girls in their age group become desperate enough. That's why we have a 50-60% divorce rate for when those girls get bored and can't readjust to monogomy or tolerate the boredom of a committed relationship with someone unsatisfying (after a lifetime of being sexual used by higher status males).
Mert is so insecure he'll never be happy. This pleases me.
What exactly makes somebody an 'alpha'?
Mert is definitely an alphat.
:harold:
A Tom Selleck 'tache
Puffed chest.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Going through life in a dignified, self-sufficient fashion while being attractive enough to women that you are never without their company (if desired) for an extended period of time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
A 'snapback' and an Instagram account.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
That's the opposite of an alpha. Excessive social media presence / snapbacks are severely frowned upon as the domain of loser tryhard liberals / trashy low class people / minorities (like Iranians/Asians) imitating what they wrongly perceive to be as cool / high status.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
So, be employed? That's easier than I thought.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Sorry Lewis. :eyemouth:
Dignified is tougher for the modern male than you would think. But in general it's not that hard, just "don't be a pussy and take care of your responsibilities" would be adequate really.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
How long have you been self-sufficient?
:D
Who said I considered myself alpha? It's an ideal to strive for, hence my current educational / career trajectory.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Alpha = cunt?
This is why I asked. I need to know where I stand.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
I take this seriously but I'm afraid you just don't understand the situation at all. It's much more of an emotional thing than a sexual thing, although that bit doesn't hurt. If anything I'm the one who's likely to drunkenly fuck up and try to get with someone else, she's just too shy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Also loyalty isn't really a factor because it's only over the summer. That's the good thing is that there really isn't much of a long-term investment.
http://cdn.inquisitr.com/wp-content/...-482327612.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Mert
In my pursuit of enlightenment and trying to understand the ways and lives of 'alphas', I stumbled across a new category: beta orbiters.
What is your experience of them @Mert and do we have any on this board?
Isn't that just a hipster name for typical friend zoned guys?
Never mind, Mert. I've got one hook, line and sinker.
i was given some beta blockers when i was 16 for some anxiety issues are they like that
Lol @ insinuating you can be friend zoned if you're already married. We are the bottom of sex line, seven. Let's admit it.
No she's not. Don't be naive.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
Quote:
Originally Posted by 7om
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
We gucci? It's the guy's who hang around on the periphery of girls acting as subservient cuck emotional punching bags whenever she doesn't have anyone else to give her attention, in the hopes that one day the girl will realize what a great guy he is and decide to date him (spoiler: it never happens).Quote:
Originally Posted by 7om
:drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Beta cuck.
I'd kill to be a beta.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
These new layers aren't helping my quest for clarity.
Nowadays you can identify as whatever you want mate.
I'll be an alpha then. Sorted.
It's like an onion of cuntery.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Probably would've been better if he'd chinned me and got on with it. Instead it turns out that their breakup was worse than I realized and he said that he'd have a hard time interacting with me if I went out with her, which would probably fuck up things with our larger friend group, so it looks like a no-go, or at least will require some stealth ops instead of a ground invasion. Oh well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Did you ask him? Fuck sake.
Just get on with it. Everything is big drama in high school and everything will be forgotten come the fall.
Told you so.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
Let me guess, girl was completely misleading about how their relationship ended?
When did Spoon turn in to Mert lite?
'Don't shit on your own doorstep' is decent advice.
I'm popping the question this month.
Shiiii. :drool:
How tall is she?
6'2" :)
Went on my first date since the split last night. All felt very alien. We've made plans to meet up later in the month.
Just came across...ok I went to great lengths to find (lol) a girl I was absolutely besotted with (probably friend zoned) in my late teens. She was incredible then and she looks even better now. It was her personality though, she had a proper crip brother which made her not a cunt for her looks, really down to earth, had a really cool older sister and her brother (non-crip) was sound too.
Man I loved her.
Come on Mert, I'll have that beta ripping now.
p.s she doesn't have Facebook, I couldn't remember her second name either. I managed to find her sister who was called Roxy and then her mum who had a completely different handle to her name, and then there was pictures of my love. She obviously doesn't have Facebook as there was no tagging or mentioning etc when the other sister was. Can't find her on Twitter, or Insta either. She's a myth. I love her even more now.
Find her. It's meant to be.
How much have you had to drink this evening and how many nights have you spent in the spare room already?
I think 'she had a proper crip brother which made her not a cunt for her looks' is the most romantic thing I've ever read.
I've had one pint and I'm sitting in a fucking shit hotel room with David fucking Dimbleby on the telly. No wonder I'm lost. Though I've often thought about her. She really was special, man. Fuck. Also thinking about times with my band. Pretty sad how it's all turned out. I literally have no friends.
Would have been in the groom's speech.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
:cry:
You were wanking over those pictures, weren't you?
I thought we'd long established that Magic will wank over anything with a pulse.
Not at all. She wasn't like that. Have too much respect to just crack one out. This is the level she's at, lads.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
edit: fuck legions of seagulls are making an orgy of noise outside my window now. Fuck my life.
I remember taking her home after we went to meet her sister as she was a barrista at a local coffee shop, we talked about Lynyrd Skynyrd. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.
Jesus I sound like Spoon.
Now I ask my wife about Lynyrd Skynyrd she'd probably think it was a new series out or something and when she found out she'd probably think I was a pretentious wanker for not liking THE TOP 40.
Don't do it Manc, she'll probably turn out to be a worthless whore. Ditch her now whilst you can.
Or quote Tuesday's Gone at you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Particularly if that pulse comes to an end at some point in the video.Quote:
Originally Posted by Byron
Mock me all you like. I don't care, I've hit rock bottom. I've actually started adding porn stars on my SnapChat account. Fuck you all.
Just get the divorce organised and prepare your pitch to the custody officer as to why you should be allowed five hours' access a week and not two.
GS at least I've had sex, mate.
:lol:
Why did you get married, Magic?
It doesn't sound like you and your wife have all that much in common.
That's not strictly true, I just have a disgusting habit of always thinking grass is greener, never satisfied, better than etc. I don't know why. The opposite is probably true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Can I just say this place has definitely changed me, you set of cunts. I used to be satisfied with CSI, James Paterson, working in a warehouse and McDonalds.
Pics or gtfo.
Petty insults aside, you appear to be staying in the marital home solely because of the kids.
You're never going to be happy.
I also had a lot of friends but lost them, openly ditching them to be fair, for the mrs. I pushed them out because I didn't want them to ruin anything. They weren't GREAT or anything but at least they were there. My best mate she really didn't like, I think the last straw there was when I didn't pick him for my best man and picked my brother-in-law who I'd only known for about 3 years lol. He didn't come to the wedding. Lot of them weren't even invited but those that were didn't come. Haven't really had the opportunity to make friends like that since, this was all before Facebook was big and stuff, like Bebo times. So I started Facebook after all that, which fucked me over a little bit. I still have work friends but that isn't the same, really. Feel quite sad when I see people that have great mates outside of work, BM4L or groups of mates. I threw it all away, but they weren't the right ones anyway I don't believe at least. Who knows. Who gives a fuck anyway, what a boring cunt.
I'm not not happy. Melancholy with patches of hate, and streaks of greatness.Quote:
Originally Posted by GS
He'll never be happy, marriage or not.
Yeah, this is an excellent point. Not sure why, maybe I need CBT or some shit. Fucking wonderful, thanks shit parents.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Have you considered meditation?
No.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Try it.
Good, it's a con.
Fuck meditation. Try medication.
I need to find inner peace, and accept myself. Once I do that, I can accept and be happy with everything else. Problem is I'm all too aware of how much of a cunt I am and can be, so its a viscous cycle. Maybe it's good to be oblivious.
Making friends as an adult is kinda weird and difficult.
Maybe for you lot.
Try religion. It works for some of us.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
It is. Also a bit pointless since you no longer 'do stuff.'
Just get a hobby or something.
Boyd's too busy trying to fit in with the GAA banter.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Seriously, give meditation a go.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
You seem to have a constant stream of negative thoughts about yourself and even just 20 minutes a day free from that will make you feel a lot better.
"Sorry, Amber. Daddy can't play with you because he's trying to imagine an Ox scratching it's arse."
:D
Hilarity aside, if this is real then you poor bastard Magic. Hope it all gets sorted out for you dude.
:( :hug:
That sounds properly shit, Magic. Maybe you need to get a divorce and go mad for a few years, have a second crack at being a teenager. Move to the midlands and sleep in my spare room, I'll introduce you to my freaky friends.
I had an extremely good friend who did similar, I've not spoken to him in years and have no intention ever to do so. Kinda screwed yourself over in terms of friendships there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Magic I did similar with my ex wife, r.e. friends. I then reached out to them afterwards and was very honest and humble about how much of a dick I was.
Some welcomed me back into their lives, some didn't. Get out and about, go to comedy/music gigs, socialise at work nights out etc. I had to start out again in 2010 with pretty much fuck all pals in my life. Joined a 5's team and started going to a pub quiz. Still do both weekly. Morale of this pish is get out and engage with folk.
Found out today the ex has been tarnishing my name by telling everyone I cheated on her. Chimping out!
Play along with it so it messes with her head when it gets back to her.
Read the Bhagavad-Gita. Then join a book group, you lonely bastard. At least you've provided me some clarity as I try to decide whether it's worth fucking off my friends for a girl.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Making friends as an adult is easy if you just join a sports team. Obviously you need at least some bantz though or you will be crucified.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Why don't you keep your friends and find another girl?Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
Bros before hoes, init.
Leos before those.
I think it depends on how close you are to the bro, how long the relationship lasted/how serious it was and how long ago it was.
Also whether you're moving to another country within a few months.
I think if you or your mate thinks a lass will poison the well, it's already on shaky ground. I dunno, Magic. If it means that much, try and get back on terms with the lads. If nowt else, its another avenue to vent towards instead of just us and liveleak comment threads.
Having gone through it from the other end spoons it's a terrible idea. It won't just affect you and this guy, you'll potentially fuck things up with your group of friends too. If he kicks up a fuss or is genuinely upset by it then you walk away looking like a prick to everyone neutral.
What's the point?
The grass is greener!
I think it's probably more "there's grass over there!" given spoons relationship history.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
I was referring to Magic's situation. Spoon is young and will make mistakes. Let him.
Well, I would hate for my friend to end up like you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
:eyemouth:
Failed to pull last night and now can't even get hungover tings to come round. Woeful.
Important article about the emotionally damaging effects of the hookup culture on women:
http://www.crisismagazine.com/2016/h...ure-done-women
I started reading it and I thought 'This is a weird article' and then I looked up
https://i.imgur.com/R7Jsd9M.png
You don't half read some weirdo websites Mert.
edit: Just got this popup as I went to close the tab
https://i.imgur.com/G6Axjq3.png
Nah, I'm good mate.
I got the same one (and did pretty much the same thing as you as regards reading it).
:D
There was a documentary about Fraternities on BBC last night. Dear lord.
That was so depressing I had to turn off.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
I only saw the last 20 minutes of it. Is it because they go to college younger (or have less primary/secondary education) which makes young American men even more ostensibly infantile than their British counterparts? It really is quite an achievement.
Yo being in a fraternity is dope, you pool all your money with your best friends to throw parties and bang wimmins. How can you not be a fan of that?
If there was some way to have friends, parties and girls without the ritual humiliation and sexual abuse we'd have formed a utopian society at last.
Almost of the claims frequently leveled against fraternities immediately fall apart upon any serious scrutiny. It's just the usual center-Left crowd of sexually frustrated betas and bitter girls (for not being pretty enough) trying to dismantle institutions they wish they could participate in, with a pinch of the sensationalism associated with class grievances / sexuality / exclusice secret societies.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
In practice it's a bunch of apathetic degenerates throwing parties and arguing with each other about how to throw said parties. Maybe a little bit of light hazing sprinkled in for the lulz and to make sure there are people to set up before and clean up after the parties.
How can you not be a fan of that?
It's been over a month since I've seen the ex face to face. :(
Best way to get over an ex:Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
1. Delete her on all forms of social media, make her impossible to contact
2. Sleep with three other women
3. Be happy
No 1 has been achieved. I'm working on 2 & 3.
Step two seems oddly specific.
I thought the old adage was ten?
One of the most comprehensive and simple articles on the glaring and unaddressed privileges of women over men in the Western world:
https://medium.com/@NikitaCcoulombe/...236#.6js7y4kh8
:D
You fucking wrote that, didn't you? I simply cannot believe this bit:
"But the plain fact is: here in the West, we have it pretty great. In many ways better than men. And if we really took a look at men’s lives, we might realize that."
hasn't come from your little mind.
It has graphs and maps. Definitely Merterkan.
Lol she's nicely defending rapists too.
I've shared my snapchat name on Facebook. Hopefully some nice babes add me so I can bank their stories.
Fuck off, mert. :DQuote:
Thus far, it appears this kind of man, often referred to as a “beta male,” turns women off.
I feel we should record that post for 14 years down the line when Magic winds up luring his own kid to a park.
I didn't even get that far. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
Still single and hung up over the ex. I've had sex with a few girls, but there proving only to be sobering experiences. You keep that marriage tight, Magic.
Think my child is developing anxiety (oh noes!) through perfectionism and being an only child.
She seems to procrastinate all the time now, and gives us the 'I can't do it' crap. We get upset and frustrated because we know she can do it (putting on her socks this morning) but she flat out refuses. This resulted in 3 individual meltdowns and ultimately a lot of shouting because there was a rush.
Yes we fell in to the trap of WHAT NOT TO DO.
That took me a while to be fair. Socks are a tricky one.
Why did you break up in the first place?Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Are youon these dating apps? They must help...?
Does she have any role models? They all put their own socks on. They'd be nowhere without that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
She turned 30 and had a meltdown similar to Magic's daughter.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dquincy
I've dabbled in the online dating scene. The majority just see it as a procrastination tool rather than actively pursing dates and what not. I've got numbers from it, but nothing substantial as of yet.
This could easily go into the 'The little things in life that fuck you off' thread but its probably better in here.
It really irritates me when your about to stroke your girlfriend. She claims she isnt ready yet. OK, that fine. Then when she decides she is now ready. You poke it in and she says she isnt ready :panda:
I once banged 5 different girls over the course of 8 days using Tinder while my BMI was literally obese (30.8). Gotta up your game cuz.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
None of us on here have this problem Sincy as we all have tiny white penises.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
I've just had sex for the first time since 2013. :drool: / :uhoh:
It has nothing to do with that. If your not fully ready, dont let me start the grind and then im forced to pull out, stop and wait.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
We need more information @igor you beast :drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Your girlfriend sounds like a spastic.
I just make sure to let girls know my first-year associate starting salary in the private sector and related pay scale for the future. Never had any issues.Quote:
Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel
How the fuck could you live you with yourself? After 2 months dry I would cut out everything in life and live in the gym until I was aesthetic enough to bang fatties at least.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Lol have you not seen Igor?
I have not in fairness.
I just can't fathom it, I would get plastic surgery and do whatever was necessary, what's the point of life if you can't 'fuk bishes' ?
The moment you decide to grow a massive ginger beard.
Very handsome man if I'd say so myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Your weekly Red Pill:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxpVwBzFAkw#t=17
Good to see since the Turkish shit has calmed down Mert has regressed to his usual, unbearable self.
Yes but you look like fat person with Treacher Collins syndrome.Quote:
Originally Posted by leedsrevolution
I'm pretty shit at pulling strangers and I'm not really crazy about casual sex with randoms and being stuck in the arse-end of nowhere from which most of the smart, pretty girls have fucked off to the big city/got partners hasn't helped for more meaningful encounters. Also I think after a few months the desperation for sex turns into a sorta bleak acceptance.
Your just jelous because your life is awful and nobody would care if you died. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
:lol:
boom.Quote:
Originally Posted by leedsrevolution
:D
There we go again. More beta cuck jealousy. Now I know how Mert feels.
Should have stayed in Edinburgh mate. The tingage that's been kicking about there whist it's been warm. :drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I'm just trying to save Western Civilization by spreading the Truth, cherish that shit you don't appreciate how precious it is...Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I did go on a few dates with this 30-something woman who I thought was interesting and sophisticated at first but quickly realised she was mostly just weird and terrifying. Probably could have shagged her if I persevered but I was losing my mind too much to stick it out in my Gorgie squat.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
If it helps despite being purebred alpha I went through a four year dry spell.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
And that was whilst I was married.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*loads shotgun*
Wut are you serious?
I had a one year dry spell. I would have been to high to ever get it up had the chance appeared anyway.
That's a decent run for an alcoholic.
See your awards mate and sit down.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I had a dry spell of a good year or so after my girlfriend, but that was when I decided that slaying dragons was more important than slaying pussy.
Wonder why you are having such a hard time.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Oh...Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
:cry:
Ginger beard game. Represent.
Just seen the ex in town for the first time in yonks. Piled on the pounds.
She's clearly turned to food to get over you.
Or she's entering the lucrative BBW webcam market.
http://www.popdust.com/my-boyfriend-...891094057.html
Can make some serious cash.
Nothing much happening my end on the relationship front. Was seeing a lass for about 6 weeks but we established after about 3 that it wasn't going anywhere. Enjoyed chilling out though so just carried on, and then she met someone she actually liked and felt guilty about seeing me at the same time so binned me off.
Down to 178lbs; 10-15 more and I can be a womanizer again. It's close I can feel it.
Because that's what you wanted to say, right?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
First he would need to have a girlfriend.
Is he not still going out with that dwarf?
Pretty sure she dumped him.
He fell in love with her, let himself go, she dumped him due to his weight and now he's shedding it to win back her love.
She was always insecure about how we looked as a couple. I've always been a lean lad. Now I'm out the picture she has no motivation.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
My mate is in his 2nd ever long-term relationship. I knew his first one was a long distance thing with a Scottish girl he met on the internet when he was 18. On Friday though he revealed he met her on the IMDB message board for Friends, but more specifically on this like...ROLE PLAYING THREAD, where people posted as though they were actually Friends characters. I couldn't stop laughing for about 10 minutes.
Funnily enough that sounds like something you'd do, except maybe not as bad.
I'll be aesthetic af bishes will be 'mirin hard. Just a few more months of misery.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
If I'm down to a lean and in shape 160-165 by next Summer I think I'll try out for the Georgetown soccer team.
I'm still with her, she was just antsy for a bit because of law school exams and me not giving her enough attention, but it's fine now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
That is fucking incredible.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I had a really vivid, strange dream last night.
There was more to it but my memory kicks in as I had a bandage on my hand to protect a cut or something. I went in the shower with the intention of taking it off but got distracted because the bitch wife hadn't opened the windows from her shower so it was all smelly and steamed up. I opened the windows really wide (horizontal even though they can't do that) and went in the shower. I saw a really bad electric storm outside and noticed this bird on my neighbour's garage (my neighbour does have a garage but it certainly isn't level with my bathroom windows and you can't even see it). It looked like a cross between big bird (but a lot smaller) and a Kakapo, except it had browny yellow feathers. It had a beak like a boxing glove. It also had a frowny type look like Sam the Eagle. I'm sure such a thing exists. I didn't want it to get zapped so I invited it in through the windows. It wouldn't come so I went outside (this is where it changed to my childhood house) on the stairs and it flew on to my hand.
It went to bite me on the hand but the bandage protected it so I wasn't bothered. I patted it's head and we became besties. I didn't tell the wife about it and slowly it convinced me to murder her. This is when I woke up. I think the paranoid delusions are starting. :drool:
That is fucking brilliant. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
What characters were they? Please find out.
Last night was my first time 'on the pull' in the US since I lost a lot of weight, I have a new $60 haircut (had been growing my hair out to make it work) nice light summer tan, and the subconscious easy confidence of knowing I have a job lined up...
...and I felt 'it' again, in a way I hadn't since a short period sophomore year (where I once made out with 8 different girls in one night just to see if I could) and when I worked at a hotel in Turkey between Senior year and starting Duke (where I got banned from clubs for hooking up with too many girls and just picked them up literally off the street)...
I don't know if any of you even know what I'm describing, the sort of euphoric confidence bordering (if not crossing over into) delusion, just going into a bar, hitting on one of the hottest girls there, going bar hopping for the rest of the night after immediately establishing rapport, buying drinks, having her subtely compete for me with her hot friends, all of them unnecessarily touching and laughing at my comments, grinding in the corner of a club, her being so into it...I don't think most men ever experience it / have access to the experience and/or appreciate it...
I think I might not go out after tonight for a bit, just become a hermit for another 6 weeks so I can go from vaguely aesthetic to like 'woah' when I take off my shirt status...but I'm back, it's still there and I'm so close to being even better than I ever was...
Where's the nightlife in DC, then? I actually have no idea.
In my entire life I've only met two arguably three kids I know who know what I mean, all of them are like hint of 'exotic' Latin / Semitic, but phenotypically usually pass as Caucasian...I think you need the mix of coming from a more traditionally misognyistic culture, implanted into Western society always quietly feeling a need to prove yourself...otherwise you just wife up the first pretty girl who falls for you...
I was 'bar hopping' on Thursday, and a barmaid gave me a load of Lotus biscuits, so make that four.
Nightlife in DC is awful, drinks are too expensive, girls are ugly, feminist and have disproportionate self-esteem. We usually go to U Streer or Adams Morgan but it's all bad...Quote:
Originally Posted by 7om
"Hi, Honey. I selected you on the basis of specific traits to ensure the strongest possible offspring. As soon as you give birth, you can leave. I have a mother. She knows what to do."Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Everyone operates the same way, most just lack the necessary self-awareness to consciously tie their preferences to a deeper instinctual drive.
What character was he and what character was she?Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
I'm going to Berlin to study abroad in the Fall. Sex life at Stanford is ok, but I'm expecting big things in the German nightclubs.
Also, this is a thing? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KitKatClub
Report back, Mok.
Just rolls off the tongue innitQuote:
The motto of the club is "Do what you want but stay in communication".
German girls are asexual, don't buy the PR
Russian/Ukranian>American>British>Anywhere in South America / South East Asia as a white guy> you're not getting laid
Yeah I'm not so sure about Ukrainians :(
Mert sounds like a proper Louis. :nono:
(Pronounced like Lewis; a person who ditches his friends, in particular leaving one on their own, to go to the toilet, bar and/or pursue other interests. Named after my mates brother.)
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Is Lewis a Louis? He did get a pack of Lotus biscuits.
Dude you think that shit is a joke, I was doing things you can't even fathom are real, one of the clubs tried to hire me as a promoter because of it while the others threatened me...it's because all the owners / bartenders were getting jealousQuote:
Originally Posted by John
Ukrainians are beautiful and shameless gold digging sloots...we get along well...Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
Anyways last night was fun / I'm money as I suspected, but I need 10-15 more pounds so I'm going back into temporary retirement.
I've got charm and a cheeky face.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
No, you just never got any because that was before you developed a front to compensate for your insecurities.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Lol. We'll see how you feel in 6 months.Quote:
Originally Posted by mokbull
German guys are better than you and far more feminized / pussy, German girls are spoiled by a bunch of guys who suck up to them constantly, as a result German girls can access really top guys at will if they wanted to have casual sex, they don't so they generally just slightly trade up to be in long-term relationships.
I lived in Germany for three years, had two long-term girlfriends. I've been getting laid regularly since I've been 16 years old.
Mert probably eluded to - but stopped short of - sexual assault. Or you're just a massively shit drunk.
I might have a chance with a German girl then.
Have you booked flights to Berlin yet?
Searching now.
No one that gets their hole that regular says that. Fucks sake lad.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
I think it's complete nonsense, not a joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
I'm sure the bolded sentence will make someone, somewhere feel the inadequacy you want me to feel, so keep that rubbish for elsewhere.
Indeed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy
>got attention from someone in a club
>post about it online
>forever alone
Did the moment where he lied about sleeping with that girl and Offshore messaged her on facebook get archived on the old board?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Married now. Strange to be a Mr rather than a Miss.
Can you MS Paint your wedding day?
Congratulations Wullie. One of us, one of us, one of us.
Nice one Wulfred.
SoMarriedKru getting bigger. :drool:
http://i.imgur.com/Qwncrf6.pngQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I said your wedding day not mine.
I'll be getting married soon too. :cool:
19 days to go for me.
She looks well. You're a lucky man Wullie.
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I'll be married soon enough when I manage to trap/get trapped by a webcam girl.
Fingers crossed on a nicer country this time round.
Bored of the single life now. I've met a few girls who are happy with the casual nature of things, but non have the potential to be relationship material. Where are all the high quality women?
I've wondered the same thing. Been on a few dates recently but not been fussed about any of them.
With the high quality men. #alphaasfuckQuote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Don't worry singletons, the internet has provided for you! Now no woman, however disinterested, is out of your reach.
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/h...eadphones.html
:D
Saw that trending on Twitter earlier. Straight out of the Mert playbook.
I've never seen a more optimistic use of 'possibly'.Quote:
Woman: [Possibly smiling or laughing].
What if the headphones aren't green?!
Was after a girl since the start of the year pretty much. Finally my war attrition paid off about 2 months ago and I've had lots of sexy sex since then, but she's days away from leaving the UK for about 4 months, and I get the impression that she's not really arsed about resuming our arrangement when she gets back. It is a pity, but I'm trying to take confidence from the experience and remember some girls actually want to have sex with me, compared to previously when after about a fortnight I've reverted to self-conscious and insecure around women. Or "Beta Cuck" as the kids say.
I've been looking in to divorce. If it's amicable it should only cost around £2,000 for all the legal shit to be processed and written up. If it's not £££.
Also if we have to sell the house there is a £5,000 charge for coming out of our fixed rate early. Bit too costly at the moment.
It would also cost me £60 per week in maintenance if I had the little 'un for 2 nights a week. That's heartbreaking for me. Don't think I'm a bastard or cold hearted.
Meeting with with a Romanian bish tomorrow. Not sure if we've much in common and I not sure how much we're likely to click but she is fucking gorgeous, so we'll see what happens.
Bet she's got a webcam. The Romanian's love it.
RIP Magic. :(
Inbox me, Hammer.
Magic thinking he's actually going to cut loose. :D
Unlucky, Magic, mate.
:| Never thought I'd see the day.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Do you reckon she's as unhappy in the marriage (/ would be as up for a divorce) as you are?
Your child will be emotionally damaged.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
She has a leaving fund so I'd reckon so.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
Yes, it's not a one way thing. Just not sure how to save it, to be honest. We're polar opposites in every way. If it doesn't end mutually it'll be when one of us meets someone else. I just can't bear the thought of not being able to see my child when I want and every morning/night. That is the only reason I've stuck it out for the past 4 years. I want nothing more than just a normal fucking family life (despite the LOLlewbear jokes) but nearly every chat/discussion ends in an argument.
I know. We're not WARING PARENTS, I get the whole 'YOU'RE A CUNT DIE BITCH/you're mother is a whore/I hope your father gets cancer' is even more damaging for a child than a separation but it isn't like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
You should try to make it work for the child. Seriously. Talk to her about it. Divorce is literally evil and should be strongly strongly discouraged unless there is abuse within the relationship.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Have you considered 'taking a break' for a couple of months to see whether it does any good? It probably wouldn't, but perhaps it would help in clearing your head.
No, that's just not feasible at all, financially or otherwise. My head doesn't need cleared. There are two options here: Walk away or shit it out. The latter is preferable to me every single time, mostly because I'm afraid and possibly selfish? She might be the same, or maybe she only sees me as financial security and knows she'd be bolloxed on her own and that is why she presumably hasn't left yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by GS
I do want it to work but even the slightest thing makes me lose all will and it's the same for her as well.
Why did you get together (and have a child) in the first place?
Have you had any marriage counselling?
I can't imagine perpetual misery is preferable to moving on, but there you go.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
This is the right answer, all joking aside. What have you got to lose?Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Just sort it all with some good old fashioned adultery you miserable bastard.
Not his dignity.
Hammer you cunt.
Fuck me £20 per person to set it up and then £45 an hour?! Fuck that. Divorce it is. LOL.
She sounds lovely.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Adamski
I meant in interests and ambitions. She's still a cunt like me.
Gut shot :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Adamski
If anyone knows a book on emotional immaturity please can they recommend it. Seriously.
You should be banned and allowed back when you know how to use the word literally in proper context.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
The problem does lie partially with you Magic and it's unlikely that you'd ever be happy in any marriage, simply because that's the way you are
I agree, I'm emotionally immature, big time. I have massive childhood issues and it's presented in my current personality. I don't have a clue how to handle complex emotions, it's the root cause for all my self-confidence issues (why I piss myself doing things alone and ironically why I probably can't take a piss with anyone else in the room lol!).Quote:
Originally Posted by mokbull
Heavy. Go back to calling us all cunts and wanking over murder videos.
Excellent. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Adamski
What are your interests and ambitions? What are hers? More importantly, when are we getting tanning stories?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Counselling probably a good shout, either couples counselling for both of you or just for you for own stuff.
But then, I would say that.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Heros-Choic...ero%27s+choice
I'm going to try that.
We sat down to dinner together tonight for the first time in years (at the table). I made tea as usual on a Tuesday night (as she's got zumba) but usually we either watch the telly or watch different tellys.
I found myself...screaming at myself internally don't you just have a fucking conversation? Talk normally? You fucking retard. What the fuck is wrong with me? I felt...uncomfortable and wanted to escape the situation. It's how I feel with my family (apart from my step-parents and step-brothers/sisters). Desperately wanting to escape their company and every conversation is awkward.
Fucking Romanian lass has bailed! She mentioned how there's a lot going on in her personal life at the moment and she needs to 'set her ducks in row' (lol) before she thinks about anything dating-wise. Dang!
She was probably out of my league and it probably wouldn't have been anything serious, but dammit it could have been fun. Shit.
I bet you're still posting shit like that in 40 years' time. Grow up and engage in an adult relationship with responsibility.
I was seeing someone I really liked over Christmas in fairness. I was basically in love with her, actually. We talked about how much we liked each other (and she felt the same way) but then she had an anxiety attack and sacked me off. It was proper weird, she was hyperventilating and everything, and it messed me up a bit. She had some problems of her own. Not really met anyone since then that I give a shit about.
There's a lass on my counselling course who I think I could be pretty happy with and we get on really well, but she's got a fella so I’m not touching that.
Staying together with the child seeing and knowing that they hate each other so much is worse. Divorce is shit but it is the right thing at times.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
...and no pegging.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
If you're a mature adult I don't see why you couldn't make it work. Seriously. I feel like as long as my wife was in decent shape, relatively attractive and intelligent we could talk through every problem. Even if you don't 'love' them, you could absolutely work together as a team (like a work colleague) to further the common goal of raising the child.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
Right, because a mature adult would obviously care about how good looking someone is when a child's future is at stake.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
I couldn't psychologically care enough about her to be a mature adult, I need to have a base level of attraction.
Well, have you seen Magic's wife?
You guys watch separate televisions? Are they near each other? Different cable packages?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
If it's that bad end it. No point in an unhappy relationship that you can't recover. Just be there for your kid and hope she doesn't find a better surrogate father when she hooks up.
Wtf. It is supremely selfish to literally fuck up the emotional development of your child for life because it's getting hard to make it work. Marriage is hard, but it's also about sacrifice.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kikó
Western civilization is fucked.
My dad left when I was 7 and I connected with him when I was 24 again. The world goes on, people adapt.
How did that come about?
As long as her nose is the right shape and she doesn't hit the chippy too hard.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
The leaving or the reuniting?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
The former, he stopped coming because he started having a new family and my nan is a pain in the arse so probably have him a horrible time every time he visited so stopped.
The latter was through finding my half sister on Facebook and contacting her. From there we ended up meeting at my house and just moved on. I held no grudges, he fucked up but he now was trying to make amends so gave him the chance. He's been a good guy since and I now have two sisters and a brother in my life.
I'd say it fucks them up more if parents stick together that are genuinely unhappy together.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
My parents split when I was 5, I don't remember much before my Mum left but it was the right decision. I love them both equally and hated it when they spoke shit about each other (that never actually went away). It would have been so much worse had they stuck it out.
The parents do need to actually try and salvage it though but if they can't splitting is the right decision. Once that happens just be there for the kid and make sure they know how much each parent loves them.
I didn't know a single person in my fraternity at Duke who's parents had divorced. Take from that what you will.
If she does not remain in good shape for her age and make a reasonable effort to look attractive throughout the course of the marriage then she has abandoned her responsibilities as a wife. She has no right to expect the husband to fulfill his responsibilities in turn.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
And fuck the child. Your needs are more important. Good.
If I beat my wife, my wife is not responsible for divorcing me afterwards. Same principle.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
You entered this thread saying that a 'mature adult' would be able to make it work for the sake of the child, now you're saying that if either party neglects their marital responsibilities then fuck the child, with those responsibilities defined as looking good for the woman and not punching the woman for the man.
Is she responsible for divorcing you if you get fat?
Sorry to hear this, Magic. Hope it works out.
I would not fault a woman for divorcing me if I did not make a reasonable effort to remain attractive to her physically. That would 100% be on me.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
You're fundamentally a bad person
No. I just don't lie to myself. Others would divorce their significant other without being able to pinpoint the exact reason and would rationalize it away. I recognize how humans work and I state my expectations knowing how I would react emotionally.Quote:
Originally Posted by mokbull
If I'm bad so is the rest of humanity, on top of being fundamentally dishonest.
Moved in together August 2015.
Engaged April 2016. (I rolled over on the couch one night and said, "I don't have a ring, but wanna marry me?")
Got a puppy on Friday.
Marriage is planned for summer 2018.
Pretty different from a couple years ago.
Yo that's dope, congrats man.
Mert, I don't agree with you on the principle that your partner must remain physically attractive throughout the entire marriage. I would say that your partner must remain attractive throughout it all, though, because that implies continuing emotional work between both people.
As for the rest of you, Mert's probably ahead of the game in communication. If Mert's in a relationship with someone else who shares the same values, then he's probably explicitly talked with her about what he expects from her in a relationship and asked her what she expects from him. If he is regularly checking in and working with her to go to the gym and eat right, then he's probably doing the same with other aspects of the relationship.
If he's not, come on, dude.
Why are you planning a marriage so far in advance dude?
:beer:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Congratulations panda. Must have been attracted to the way you walk.
I proposed spontaneously; wasn't planning to do so until the end of this year. I don't want us to worry about a wedding until our job situations settle down. I'm looking for a different job, and she works at a private practice that is still growing.Quote:
Originally Posted by mokbull
To you too!Quote:
Originally Posted by Kikó
Unfortunately, no. She's an occupational therapist, and she diagnosed me with a small degree of ankle inversion. :(
Absolutely. I'm very clear in what my expectations are sexually / physically with girls. Always; in return I take it upon myself to satisfy her and ensure that I work hard to remain attractive in her eyes. If she doesn't agree with what I need in a relationship, that's great, just means we're not compatible and I go on my way. There are plenty of girls out there who would be more than happy to conform to my expectations.Quote:
Originally Posted by Panda Bear
Believe it or not this saves a lot of headache however 'mean' it's perceived as being.
And those expectations apply to things like how to meet emotional needs and being supportive, right?
Mert has spent the last four years calling anyone who even knows what emotional support is a 'Beta' so he can't really win with that question.
You were surrounded by cunts?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Your not a bad person. You are just a bit of a dick. That's a subjective opinion of mine. I think you place way to much importance on the superficial and not at all on the substance of anything in life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
You appear to be the type of person who is happy to be dying inside, slowly rotting away at the core but don't give a fuck as long as the body looks good and your "peers" adjudge you to be "alpha".
The crash when it happens dude is going to be hard. In that you have my sympathy.
I would describe it instead as understanding the importance of presenting myself in a certain manner because I understand how superficial the outside world is, so that my inner desires can be fulfilled. For example, let's say I like a girl. When I like a girl I want to compliment her and do nice things for her to get her attention. However, I recognize that instead I have to act / look / dress / achieve certain things to get her to return my affection. So I work towards that end.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy
On a separate note:
I think I'm still about 10 pounds away from really being God mode again. I banged a girl (probably soft 6) and made out with two others last week that I picked up at bars, but that was in North Carolina and at the University of Maryland where everything is a bit easier. It's fun though, I'm attractive-ish again, just not quite slayer level. I really really should just detach myself from life for 5-6 weeks and really finish up my cut...but every time Thursday-Saturday rolls around it's so tempting to just go out again...
Divorce isn't evil nor does it automatically damage a child.
Is Dad Emperor on his third wife or something?
Lol. Of course it does.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
My friend's dad used to go around joking that he wasn't legally married to three stone of his wife, and then he got prostate cancer.
He needs to work on that punchline.
Why are you talking about this? Are you Married? Do you have kids?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Until you have kids, you know fuck all about what it is to make a relationship work with them. And yes, in principle it sounds very selfish for parents to get divorced or separated and "abandon" the kids, but oftentimes staying together in an unhappy relationship can be even worse for the kids.
What you don't realize is that nobody stays the same and retains the same values, even you won't, for a 20-30 year period. If you're planning on having at least 2 kids, that's the period you're committed to staying together.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
And I'm sure you can accompany your girlfriend to the gym and make sure she eats veggies today. Try that when you both have jobs, have to pick up at kindergarden when exhausted from sleep depravation, work, and have a cranky kid that you just need to feed (no wait, that was yourselves). All of a sudden its 9PM and you're both exhausted and about to start a fight over who's turn it is to do the last of the house chores.
But yeah, maybe you can program her to do squats while folding the laundry.
Sounds like you need a divorce, Maz.
I'm very happy in my relationship, actually. Probably even more so since we had a kid. But managing day-to-day challanges like that together and still making it work creates a completely new dynamic for your life together, as I'm sure you know, that I sincerely doubt Mert understands or can appreciate the significance of.
Kids are shit. I've found myself seriously considering whether I can be bothered over the past couple of years or so.
We just have to hope people like him are so preoccupied with ECONOMICS and WEALTH ESTABLISHMENT they simply drift past the window available to have children.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
Mert here is the thing, if/when you marry/have kids, if you continue to have such backward views you will probably find she will divorce you.
And ruins him :drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy
Why the fuck you people continue to entertain this child is beyond me.
Nah.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
Lol. You are why Western Civilizarion is collapsing. Be a man for Gods sake you're pathetic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
My wife will understand her responsibilities and there are no excuses, period. Besides, I don't make 1%tile money for her to deal with silly things like laundry and cleaning, that's for the peasentry.
What's your current job again?
I have a job for next summer scaled for 180k/annum nearly guaranteed offer for full time for year after.
A few hours after my flatmates boyfriend broke up over text she's got some next man over. Woeful.
This is how women get raped/murdered isn't it? *Locks door*
That could have been you, beta boy.
Look at all those caveats.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
He'll get banned from the workspace for 'hooking up' with too many females.
That is the worst attempt at mockery ever.
Welcome to 2016.Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Lol if you're not top 20% male, tour is over boyo.
I could literally pay you enough to have a gay gang bang with all black men within a few years.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
More caveats.
My banter just isn't on point.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Mert's a deluded idiot, and this post doesn't make sense at all, but i'll use it at a stepping stone for another conversation topic, which is: why are workplace relationships so taboo? It's the only place you're ever really gonna be in contact with a bunch of women, and you're there most of your day, so it's sensible that workplace relationships should blossom everywhere forever. Fuckin human resources blueballing everyoneQuote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
You're a huge faggot but its because HR is run by bitter overweight women who are unhappy in their marriagesQuote:
Originally Posted by mokbull
What's your job?
I get this much.
That's mert summed up in those couple of posts.
I watched an autobiography thing about Himmler last night and his views on women and marriage were exactly the same as Merts.
He will get that much in two years if he gets the jobs he might be offered.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I quoted Mike & The Mechanics last night to the wife in my commitment speech. She never noticed.
"I never wanted to say goodbye..."
As the police take him away.
Your commitment speech?
Is a 'commitment speech' something they get you to do in marriage guidance?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
First of all, I have more Manliness in my left little finger than you have altogether you pesky little delusional prick.
Second, do you have a wife? No? Then don't talk as if you have one. I don't. Noone does.
Third, do you make 180k per year right now? No? Then don't talk as if you do. I make a pretty decent amount of actual money, today, in my actual job - that I use to help sustain my actual family.
I guess the fact that there's a line of command (or hierarchy even though that seems a bit outdated) which would make the possible fall outs damaging for the professional setting difficult to uphold. For example, say that you and another colleague are going for the same promotion and your wife is the one who decides who gets the promotion (an extreme example of course, but you probably get what I mean).Quote:
Originally Posted by mokbull
Also fuck working with your wife/fiancée/girlfriend. You'd go mad in a week.
Is this the week when people reply to Mert thinking it will actually lead to something worthwhile?
I've done the relationship with someone at work thing. And while banging on a conference table is hot, as soon as the relationship goes wrong it's TERRIBLE.
What about on your head?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
Look at the vikings going in.
2016 and people are still trying to take shots at Mert. Fucking hell.
Yes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
Explain.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Did you just burst into it over dinner or had you agreed to do one each? Or was it in a councilling session?
That's the dream :swing:Quote:
Originally Posted by phonics
No I called last night from the hotel and just outlined my commitment in a roundabout way. Basically I'm changing my outlook to be far more positive. I'm emotionally retarded so it's a work in progress and I asked for patience and understanding.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
What did she say?
She hasn't stopped laughing yet.
Guess this is pretty beta behaviour but admitting the problem is the first step surely.
I might slit my wrists if I have to deal the word "beta" again.
You trying to save your marriage isn't "beta".
Talking about it is good, you get to know what the other person is thinking which means you probably aren't paranoid that they're about to walk out at every second.
I told you divorce was the wrong thing. Glad you listened.
Fair play, Magic.
Top. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I was asking a serious question, Magic. Dickhead.
I want it to go back to how it was, still love you etc. I found it much easier over the phone to be honest.
I've got a date tomorrow and possibly another two in the pipeline. Think my persistentce may finally be paying off.
I've worked for the same company as my better half for 4 years. We've even applied for the same promotions before. Infact we are up against each other for a promotion right now.
Let the battles begin.
Simply refer to her as your worse half during the interview and enjoy the raise.
Or simply mention it as a matter of fact and watch them suddenly lose all respect for her and her decision-making.
I pretty much spat my coffee out laughing at that. Well played.Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie
Finished the date. Lovely girl, cute, witty, but I sensed some insecurities. On to the next.
What like?
He's projecting.
She didn't guzzle his balls. Insecure.
Just not very confident in her own skin. No time for that.
She sounds like a right cunt, you made a good decision there.
Pipe down you weapon.
Cracking date tonight. We've already arranged another. :drool:
What's the verdict on asking out a girl who's in a class with me? Surely it's less fraught with peril than a coworker?
That would just be classified as totally normal behaviour.
That you're asking a shell of a football manager off topic section permission to do so is the weirder part.
Hit her with a great chatup line.
Tenner says one of the ends up dead.
Got it.
I can't read 'needless to say' without hearing it in Alan Partridge's voice after listening to the audiobook of 'I, Partridge'.
I'll say this much - you don't have much luck.
Is this the same one as before? Or another mentalist?
I matched with a girl on tinder who looked pretty alright in her first photo, had some nice chitchat, but she looks quite, well, manly in some of the photos. I've managed to convince myself she might not have been born a woman. Might go for it anyway.
At least Chrissy makes me feel somewhat better about my whole shit storm.
You look like Philip Seymour Hoffman fucked Howard the Duck.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
fucking hell :D
In seriousness though, that cutting but not entirely inaccurate observation is partly why I fucking hate tinder and online dating. I'm weird looking enough, but also really unphotogenic and shit at text-based bantz (see: my entire posting history here). I can be vaguely funny and charming "IRL" so I can punch a bit above my weight, but only match with transexuals and really fat girls on tinder.
I love your text-based bantz.
'It turns out she actually did have cancer. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.'Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy
'17 times in a fortnight' is the sort of thing that Alan Partridge would keep referring back to.
Making me look good here lads.
Sounds like a lovely girl. Was you getting his sloppy seconds in that two weeks?
What happened to the, "I was only acting" excuse. That'd be my go-to for all of this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy
Just matched with an actually fit girl on tinder, who i've had added on facebook since I was about 16, but only spoken to her maybe once at a shit house party when I was at school.
She's also just randomly popped onto my "main" list of friends on the chat sidebar (rather than the "more contacts" bit).
Does that mean she's been having a nosy at my profile? Sure I read something about the FB algorithms doing that.
I took a picture of two girls in a club (on one of their phones lol) as a favour and she came over a few minutes later because she recognised one of my mates as she worked practically next door to him. She was really nice looking but he just brushed it off ('yeah I do work there, you alright?' then turned away) purely because he "knew she had a boyfriend because she's bought lads deodorant" (he works in co-op, she works in a dentist). But then spent the next day stalking her on Facebook because he's always fancied her. :cab:
Now apparently yesterday she went into his work and he said it was actually me who fancied her (even though she commented on my wedding ring when I took her pic) and had asked him to find out when she was out next. So now he's trying to rope me into going out on 22nd October because she's out. Yet first time he totally blanked her. Idiot.
Lucky for him it coincides with this so I'll be there will bells on.
Also on the night, her mate was really not nice looking - like really haggered and terracotta colour from fake tan - and there was a disagreement on who should be wingman, so I bring it to the good people off TTH:
If there's three men out - one is married, the other two are single. One of the single men fancies a girl who is out with one of her female friends. The single man wants to chat to her, but needs either the married man or the other single man to distract her mate. Should it be the job of the single man (they might hit it off and it could lead to something) or the married man (nothing's gonna happen.) From my wording it's obvious how I feel, but does TTH agree with me? Fair enough if it was just one single man and one married man out, trying to approach two females; but why would the married man play the wingman role when there's another bloody single man there? :dirk:
I had to step up because the other single man is a bit soft, but in normal circumstances I really think two single men approaching two females is more likely to produce end results than if a married man saunters over with no interest other than to distract the females from speaking to each other.
Man I've used the word female a lot.Toggle Spoiler
You lost me at Baz.
You're married right?Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
If you're out with two single men for a few drinks and one's like corr Franny she's a bit of alright over there, to be sure. One of yoons go chat to her mate while I try to get a wee kiss would you volunteer, or would you nominate your single mate?
I got bored at the bit where you didn't bone the dirty whores because your mates are fags.
I cut an even longer boring story out too, cos it made me sound like a dick. :rosebud:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Angelina Jolie back on the market. Do I have space for her African kids?
https://media.giphy.com/media/a4K7jjmwg0DyE/giphy.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Not yet. I never be out with men for a drink either unless it's the work night out in the summer or the Christmas party so I've no ides.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
As if a female would ever fancy Baz.
Ever get it when the sound of her voice barking away about anything and everything makes you want to end it all because it's 7pm on a Friday and you just need to be quiet and read something?
A mute button would be good. Or a highlights package. That'd be short.
Magic are you still married then or is it over?
Not much to report here. Lass my course who's quite nice but she's got a bloke, although she's moaned a bit to me about wanting to leave him. Not going though unless she's single but if that happens then maybe. Met an undergraduate lass recently too who I've enjoyed spending a bit of time with. She's massively bright-eyed and enthusiastic about everything/hasn't had her spirit crushed yet, which is really lovely actually. Not sure if she's interested or just generally really open and affectionate. She's cute though.
Take her to one of those sex dungeon parties to show her mental you are to crush her spirit.
I took a different lass from my course to the fetish club a couple of weeks ago actually. She's been interested since I mentioned it to her but she's been with someone until recently. She wanted to try bondage so I tied her up with some rope. Didn't have sex but rope usually isn't really about that - it's more the feeling of being restricted and the sensation of it. She enjoyed it and wants to go next time. The woman who ran the event was putting on tutorials and ended up tying up this other woman and then teasing her, and it ended up with them basically lezzing off. Lass from the course is curious about getting with women and was frothing at the gash at the sight of it.
A) The fuck is wrong with you?
B) How the fuck do you not het laid after that?
A) Nothing. I'm perfectly fine. What do you suggest might be wrong with me?
B) Because I didn't want to rape her.
Its telling that your circle of friends are into this. Or you just browse the right parts of the internet.
Or: A lot more people are into than care to admit it, and telling people that I've explored it in a way that doesn't make it out to be a big deal tends to incline them to ask, possibly grow curious and maybe think of exploring it themselves.
Not on here, because there's a bit of a mob mentality. But mentioning it to someone when chatting to them has always simply made people curious more than anything else. Not necessarily about going; just curious about what it is. You're probably right though; anyone who's going to kick off at the very thought of my exploring something like that is not someone I'd be likely to associate myself with.
It's a lot less weird than walking from Sheffield to Leeds or whatever the fuck it was.
He would have never met those weirdos though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamski
People would also be curious if you told them you talk to your fridge. It doesn't mean that they want to come round and meet it.
The point I'm making is that I think a lot more people are curious about this stuff than would like to admit it. Mentioning it gives them the opportunity to ask about it while retaining deniable plausibility. Out of my friends, this lass is the third person I've brought with me and there's a couple of others who have admitted want to explore it but haven't had the bottle so far to actually do anything about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
What do you wear when you go to these places? Is it just casual or straight into the gimp suits and spandex?
Where do you go from the likes of that? Secret room with some 7 year olds?
I wear smart trousers and a dark button up shirt, which is the usual for a lot of blokes. When it comes to play-oriented clothes though, people can wear (or not wear) whatever they want. Women tend to have more choice in what to wear.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raoul Duke
My mate just wore a dress. People were chatting to her actually about how much less hassle women get from wanker blokes at these clubs - at normal ones they could wear normal clothes and still get groped and shit on the dancefloor, whereas at these places they can wear next to nothing, or a pvc suit, or a corset, or generally anything they want and still get treated with respect not get any unsolicited physical contact - which is why they feel comfortable wearing those things in the first place. That said, some women just wear a dress or something. It boils down to what you feel comfortable with really.
What?Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
The deviant stuff once you get bored. Where does it lead?Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
Not to paedophilia, I'd assume.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
To death, eventually. Like everything else. Daft question.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
What happens when you get bored of anything else? Some people explore it briefly purely for the thrill of it and then disappear once they've had their fill. I guess they find something else to entertain themselves. Many people on the scene though have had kinky fantasies for as long as they can remember though; whether it is being submissive, dominant, tied up, overpowered, dressing up in certain ways...whatever. It's as various as there are people. The point is, it's not just a daft thrill for a lot of people but a genuine variation of their sexuality. I can only assume the paedophilia comment is in reference to reckoning it's all just a mindless hedonistic exercise; anything for a kick. It's not like that for a lot of people.
Edit: As for me, I'm certainly much less bothered about it than I have been. The exploring side of it anyway. I've gotten to know a lot of people on the scene though so if I go it's usually for social reasons nowadays. In a relationship I’d probably need someone who's up for it and probably an adventurous attitude towards sex in general, but it wouldn't be a massive part of any relationship because it isn't a massive part of my life any more. I'm definitely happy I explored it though because I understand the part of me better than I could hope to dream to otherwise.
Feel free to PM me if anyone has any questions about it they'd rather ask privately. A couple of people already have done in the past, and I'm not the sort to out people on the public forum for the sake of cheap lols so there's no need to worry about that.
I bet Spikey sent you a PM.
I reckon he's gagging to be one of those human pups.
Hammy ham. :cool:
P.s I don't mind being outed. The thrill. :drool:
I bet you are.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
It became a lot more prominent for me when I struggled with depression and anxiety. It became the ultimate escape, in my mind, and it's a simplification of normal sex in many ways: no more blurry boundaries; no more wondering what to do. You do as you're told/whatever you want. In any case, you know your role and have nothing else to worry about, which was especially enticing when I was struggling in my real life. I haven't really properly struggled with depression or anxiety for years and certainly not since I started exploring, but that is definitely something ive noticed.
:drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
I'm going to sort my 'relationship' with my father out. I can barely look him in the eye and think he's a cunt. I'm going to make the Hero's Choice.
If you think he's a cunt, pretending you think he isn't a cunt won't change the fact.
What's the story there?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Sorry? You are misunderstanding. I am acting on assumptions and visible actions. I have no idea what intention is behind those actions. I am seeing what I want to see. I'm going to change this. I want to see reality. I can't keep blaming him for everything that's shit about me.
This book I've been reading is changing my life. I will explain on a PC. I suspect a couple of us on here have little to no valuable relationship with their parents?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Trip shrooms
I get along great with my parents. Two of the nicest people in football.
Did you read the book or swallow it?Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Done any gay stuff? This is a pm right?Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
Nah never done gay stuff. Never been bothered.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dquincy
Do gays have weirdo clubs too? That's like the ultimate risk reward for a creep who fancies seeing a bit of lezzos.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
I've bottled it. I'd rather just watch him eventually die and take our relationship to the grave.
Let's have the full story then.
Had a buddy dating two girls at the same time, one of them finds out about the other, is now pressing charges for assault with her friends as 'witnesses' to various invented crimes.
Fucking feminism man, always trying to keep the alpha down. I think having a long-term girlfriend has been an incredible move for my well-being / professional success.
What professional success have you had?
She's probably fucking your friend.
A lot more people are bisexual but there's a decent number of full on gays on the scene too, yeah.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
She's put me on a month's trial. :harold:
Stoopid book.
What?
Alright, lads. What's worse? This sentence right above or "My partner is my best friend."?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
His wife is leaving in a month.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
Is it actually this?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
I didn't think we'd ever actually see this happen.
Magic is dead within 12 months if she goes.
Preemptively move out tomorrow and cut contact. Lay down the law and she'll get turned on by the alpha behavior and you'll get her back.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I got a lawyer job making more money than you at age 23.Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamski
Considering the kind of person you are and the people you'd hang out with I can fully believe one of you would assault someone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
That's not success. That's the first step on the ladder. If you think you've made it you're in for a shock.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
Mert is the beige face of white privilege.
Also, RIP Magic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkuWrmxN7hg
Stop saying alpha, weirdo.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
So, I did the hardest thing I've ever done. I took responsibility for my actions, destroyed my ego and looked at everything from different perspectives. I explained it was due to my upbringing but I can no longer blame my shit parents for my own shitness.
Ever since then she says she's been a lot happier and we haven't had an argument for two days. That's a record (lol!).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y5rH7cN7s4Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
:D
:D
I knew I was in for a shed load of abuse from the right wing male section of our forum. Nevertheless, as a supporter of the feminist movement I am happy with my beta actions. To become a true alpha, one has to start from the bottom rung of the ladder. And it doesn't entail sexual abuse or being a cunt, it involves absolute respect and love for your other half. That, is the true meaning of an alpha.
The problem is she sucks too, so even if your personality was to truly make a 180, youd still be stuck with her. I give it 2 more days
Magic when you post like that is it with a sense of ironic self-awareness or are you actually being completely candid? I've always assumed the former but I'm wondering.
Ten quid says this ends in murder-suicide.
If he does Benoit his family then I hope he at least has the courtesy to tell us about it. And give us the address we can send the armed police to.
Absolutely candid. I told her exactly how I felt (something I have never done with anyone), what the causes were and how I plan on working with it. I realised I was treating her like I do my mother, father and sister.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
I don't have that same awkward relationship with my step-father (even though he's a prick) or my step-mother (even though she's a lunatic) or my step-family. They hold no bearing on how I turned out. I have this deep rooted connection with my childhood and I think I started to treat my wife with the same contempt I hold for my full blood family.
I plan on holding the same talk with my mother, father and eventually sister.
Good job I'm rooting for you. I also know a good viagra hookup if you need to bring that B+ sex game to solidify things.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Why would an 'alpha' need viagra?
No need for Viagra just do heavy squats and dead lifts!
It's a joke breh. Although I would strongly recommend recreational viagra use for the lulz if you're trying to guarantee that a new girl will be sluttily praising you to the high heaven at brunch on Sunday to her friends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahow
I've never had viagra. Where do you even get it from?
Johnny machines in pub toilets.
It's more likely Chavo Guerrero picks his phone up and then wonders who the fuck Andy Johnson is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
In the Benoit scenario MJ is the wife.
She prefers Andrew.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shindig
Here:Quote:
Originally Posted by leedsrevolution
https://www.rui-products.com/cia-30ml-30mg-ml.html
Seriously it's a lot of fun if you've got a weekend to kill with your girlfriend doing something, like at a lake house or at the beach.
What a fucking fag.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
I've had a bit of a shite spell recently summed up by a very brief fling with a 30 year old with two kids, a dog, an aspiring body building career and mental health issues.
She dumped me. :moop:
Why?
He was too needy probably.
Oh and cheers, John.
She didn't want her kids having a bald stepdad.
What's the shit name change for Mahow about?
She complained I wasn't giving her much chat. Whilst I was away for 2Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamski
Weeks in America on holiday and limited to wifi (via a 6 hour time difference). :cab:
Tbf, it was only a couple of dates but she seemed to go full melt down in that period. I assumed she was bi polar.
He has an irrational bitterness towards Andy Murray, I'd watch it if I were you.
Just a regular woman. Batshit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Preferable to having a bald father genetically. At least my genes will follow me to the grave.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Ah I get it now. I never knew about the Murray thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco
That is a very good point.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Being bald / seriously balding is pretty much a celibacy sentence in your 20s, thank God for good genetics on that front.
Get some 2cb, some nitrous and some coke for your cabin weekend. mert. Regular boning gets a bit boring after a few hours.
The only problem with baldness is when blokes cling to scraps instead of owning it and getting a 1 all over.
I don't do drugs because I'm not a degenerate.Quote:
Originally Posted by dino
He's got you there, Costas.
I have some bad news for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
So I'm actually finding it pretty hard to break out of my default personality mode of 'EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT, CUNT'. Bar one or two hurdle falls she says she's been happy since Tuesday but is still 'numb' from six years of abuse (lol at that). When she says this I feel like going well why don't you just fuck off then you ungrateful cunt but I haven't. I am so bad at adult relationships it's actually hard to take in. Even admitting that sucks. Still, onwards and upwards. I told her to stop referencing things from the past (that's where the numb comment came from) because it isn't fair.
What have you been doing to her?
Being an arsehole, I guess. We fought all the time, I never backed down or acknowledged I was wrong. I was controlling, manipulative, nasty. Not sure why the cow is even still here, to be honest. Probably because she knows she'd be absolutely nothing without me by her enormous side.
Fuck sake. But I can be good, really good. But it's few and far between so I guess that one month ultimatum was an already mind made up decision. But I have reacted to it, which has surprised her, and now she isn't sure. Which is an improvement on 'fuck this' I guess.
Oh, so your cunty persona on here isn't just an act?
No. :(
http://www.vectra-sport.com/styles/d.../oh-smiley.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
What if you're not a cunt, mate? What if everything really is her fault?
This goes against my living from the inside out policy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
I just don't think you should be jumping to conclusions. I mean, you've said yourself how she keeps 'referencing things from the past'. That must be annoying. Especially when you're trying to move on.
You're right. I'm going to kick her head in.
keep up this nonsense and you will be living from the inside out. inside your car out of the family home! :checkit:Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Lewis saves the board again. :cool:
Well we don't have a baby thread so this will have to do - wife gave birth in the small hours of Wednesday morning by emergency c-section. As she can't get around very easily, I am chief nappy changer. And that's just my wife:henn0rz:
Nice one. What've you called the little lad?
Well done mo.
Sexist scum, it might be a girl.Quote:
Originally Posted by Baz
Is mo the mo from year's back on here?
Congrats lad.
Cis white scum. It could be gender fluid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy Mahowry
In which case it makes sense to go with a gender-neutral name. What about Mabel?
Or Turd.
Congrats.
A. Newborn.
B. Party zone still in play.
:cool:
That's me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Soldier
Thanks all, her name is Maggie and all the cliches about fatherhood are true - I've lost hours just staring at her sleep or making faces.
A friend of mine recently called his new baby girl Maggie.
Thatchertastic
Great news Mo, congrats :thbup:
Yeah that's nice, congratulations.
Congratulations, Mo.
I know of a load of people who've had babies recently actually, and all but one have a name ending in 'ie'. Seems like a bit of a trend forming. The one who doesn't fit is named 'Quynn', which I reckon will see him bulled to death.
:face: You're not wrong, fuck knows what some parents think when naming children.Quote:
Originally Posted by John
We were thinking more Simpson than Thatcher, but appreciate that is a connection many will make.
Kia Armani is still the trashiest one I've ever come across.
This looks like a shit Russell Brand reference now, rather than a top, top wrestling one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
Men on a Mission.
There's a kid running around Oxford somewhere called Sugar Kube. No shit.
Semi pulled my shit together in recent times and am now dating two girls.
Obviously still pining for the ex. Haven't spoken in months. Maybe I'll get over her when my first child is born.
You should have told her your son doesn't like her to knock her confidence a bit.
Better yet, offer to make him get a job.
:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Manc
Tell us everything about your downward spiral.
So we've had more sex in the past few weeks than the past year I'm sure. This may just be working. Also haven't really had a shouting argument either. We've disagreed on stuff for sure, but not argued about it. Also we went for lunch today and actually spoke. Dece.
Good work.
My man.
She's planning the exit. Watch the accounts.
Sex does seem to diffuse any situation. Keep at it.
Sex with your wife is no fun though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepe
I didn't realise Pepe was married.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
So you're suggestion is to have sex with someone else's wife instead?Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I suspect that won't help.
The only enjoyable sex is sex you shouldn't be having. Never get that rush when it's OK.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foe
Have you got a sister?Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
So Giggles doesn't even enjoy sex? Why not just top yourself and be done with it.
I like Giggles if only for the sheer amount of irony his name carries.
I never said that. I even went as far to say which type I find best.Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco
Then again, how could you possibly miss the opportunity to be a (completely incorrect) wanker yet again.
Because it never fails to get a rise out of you you touchy joyless cunt.
So I performed my insatiable version of cunnylingus this morning, after I'm pretty sure almost a year. I haven't lost my touch. I set about that snapper like a pack of lions tending to a deceased cape buffalo bull. This really might be working, you know. And to think it was almost over. Just goes to show you, eh? Nowt queer as folk. No wonder there are so many divorces. It's really hard to change.
What are you doing differently?
Not much, paying more attention to the left labia near the top as it seems to be more sensitive than the right. It's the intermediary for working the entrance to the vagina and clitoral elation.
This is a slow burner of a feud eh?Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
You're a fucking poet, Johnson.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
He's like a terrier nipping at heels. Time after time after time. Though a terrier probably has more tricks than the one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamski
This dating lark doesn't stay sweet and innocent for very long. No expectations set and exclusivity is already the word of the day.
.....
Sorry your wife is an ugly and fat prude.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
.....
That's as predictable as yet another 'joyless' from Disco. Never change tth.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
To seriously answer this question; I am doing a lot differently. I am willing to accept that my view or my way isn't the only way. I don't purposely wind her up. I tolerate things that would have made me fly off the handle previously. I am no longer a slave to my colossal ego. It's hard to be self-aware, especially in situations where you subconsciously react. But it's all about taking the time, I think even half a second is enough to make a conscious decision about something. But I realise I can only control myself, nobody else. I choose the way things affect me. The bit I'm trying hardest on is viewing it from another angle.Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamski
You sound like you must have been a massive cunt before.
Boydy, Magic.
Magic, Boydy.
Yeah, who knew not being an asshole was good for your relationship.
Still, good work though, at least you managed to recognise it and tried and do something.
Well, yeah, obviously he acts like a dick on here. But I didn't think he'd be like that in real life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Having to be 'New Magic' will prove more stressful than simply being himself, so we might get the Christmas MELTDOWN we wanted last year.
.....
Smiffy roasting people on their acts. I've seen it all now.
.....
Magic. :cool:
It's a rare massive cunt that's willing to do the kind of self work that Magic is doing.
What's she doing? Or is this one of those things where it's all you?
I guess the problem was half the time I wasn't even aware how my actions were affecting other people, and the other half I was too big headed to admit I was acting in my own absolute self interest. So in that respect, I hold my hands up; I was a complete cunt and had no idea how to deal with or act like I was in an adult relationship.
I now communicate, discuss issues and resolve them rather than becoming a self preservationist and fighting like my life depended on it. In fact 'self' probably would have been a good title of my gravestone.
And yes I have done all this by myself without help. I find it easier to study/focus etc this way. But it is a mighty effort. I still get flashes of anger or fancy jumping to my own defence but there's no need to. I own the situation. There have been a few hurdles already this past month but it is working very well indeed.
Nothing really. Do you know how hard it is to admit it's all your fault? I felt it was a necessary step to progress.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raoul Duke
It'll get easier and easier until it becomes natural and automatic. Brains are neat.
Develop your anterior cingulate cortex and dorsolateral prefrontal cortex! Shrink that amygdala!
.....
You're being more of an attention seeking lil bitch than Magic is, Smiffy.
Yeah it's like training so it'll be subconscious though I'm not sure I ever want to react to anything without being aware of it again. I'm still trying to apply it across my whole life but it's realising when a key moment occurs that is a quite big part of it too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Panda Bear
Yeah I must admit the positive attention feels good, rather than continual mocking and accusations of domestic abuse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boydy
I'm pretty sure Magic is simply using the thread for its intended purpose.
No, I am Alpha as fuckQuote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Oh don't worry, we'll balance it out.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Is that at me?Quote:
Originally Posted by Panda Bear
.....
I have no idea what you're referring to. I don't think you do either. Get a life?
I'm happy for you Magic :)
.....
Hopefully you're on your 9th now.
Smiffy is a genuinely scary individual. Comes across as absolutely deranged.
.....
G'wan MJ, soon you'll be so far under that substantial thumb that you'll have your cock caged and you'll be cleaning the bog with your tongue. #progress2016
.....
He is but in more of a end it now for Christ sake you annoying cunt than my God he might actually hurt someone way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
I'm more assertive now so I guess that makes me more of an alpha than ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Soldier
The fact you're even looking to hunt people off the internet down is the especially deranged part.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
And so it begins, you magnificent bastard.Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
Smiff, you're a good lad so leave it out. Sniping on here is all fun and games but lets not go fucking with peoples real lives.
.....
He's mentally unstable but not a complete cunt.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
I don't think there's a single person on here that could be described as normal in and real sense.
.....
:face:
Looks much better than bald Tim.
That's the beauty of this place. We're all here for the same reason (probably). Even people I don't get along with I feel a bond with. I may have periods where I don't visit this place, but I still thought about visiting, just never at a time when I actually could. We're all stuck with each other, whether we're active or not.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Taz not bothered coming back?
Yeah I've tried the whole sacking it off thing but I still end up browsing even when not posting. Despite us all being a bunch of cunts.
There's a familiarity that's rather comforting. Whether its through actually caring or just boredom, we've got each other's backs.
Sounds gay as fuck but we've all grown up on this place. I've chilled out since the cuntdom of yesteryear so I like how chilled the place is the majority of the time now.
Aye. Around 10 years of this place for me. I think most posters at some point I've gotten along with pretty well. Those MSN days were glorious.
What does this mean?Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
It means he knows where you live and he doesn't like your feature wall.
It was aimed at Giggles but fair play. :D
I'm really concerned I'm one of the most normal people on this forum. God help us all if true.
I've been on here for ten years now. It's really kinda emotional no homo.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Soldier
When I'm working full-time I will invest good money into expanding the board so that new members can join and keep it alive. I can promise everybody that.
I think we're all pretty normal. Maybe not harold but the rest. The weird thing is so we all know personal things about each other that your best friends probably don't because of the comfort of anonymity.
I've been here 13 years going on 14 in January. Fuck.
16 years lad. Half my fucking lifetime. Jaysus.
Make TTH great again!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mert
.....
:drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
As for me, I think I joined in 2005 so I guess it's been 11 or so years now.
I joined FmGamer in 2002. Then came to TTH during the merger, then back to FMG until it closed in about 2009. Then started on here again in 2012.
I remember using the website in what must have been 2000/2001 and would have registered on the old old forum (under a different name) before it was updated.
I got banned from FMG a couple of times for posting 'I AM IRON MAN' for 20 or so posts in a row, and then another time for being horrifically racist. Both out of boredom I think.
THE MERGER was a golden time, didn't your lot even have their own ghetto section outside of TTH? The Pub?
It must be over a decade since said merger. Dear lord.
"The Terrace"
:face:
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Luckily I wasn't around for that disaster. 2005-2007 I had no internet lol
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Had forgotten that :DQuote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
The result of a high-level peace deal / cease fire, if I remember. Nobody wanting to post in the other's territory. It was like Hamsterdam for a few weeks.
I was twelve when I signed up.
That is just utterly weird.
That was it, doomed to failure from the very start.Quote:
Originally Posted by niko_cee
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The merger was the death of FMG. I don't really know what our MJS was doing because FMG had a great close-knit community thing going on at the time.
It was a lot like if another forum as big as TTH of old turned up one here and Phonics decided to shut up shop because we were going over there. Nobody was very happy about it.
After we went back, FMG rattled on for a couple more years in fairness but I stopped posting around 2008 and it disappeared entirely around 2009/10 I think.
I seriously miss Sandman and dela.
Me too.
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dela pops up remarkably often on my twitter feed considering I don't follow him.
The lolling we could have had at his expense these past eighteen months.
'Do you believe in fairness, mate?'
'Yes. Why?'
'*snigger*'
More recently I really miss Lee and Toby.
Throwback to when you had the arcade and could make your username colorful / flame-y...never knew why that got rid of that feature.
And points, don't forget the TD points.
The Arcade was good. By good, I mean shit, but it was good.
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Getting the Cypriot guy in the Graphics forum to do you a 500x200 signature with your username and favourite players on it.
I really was twelve.
DC and crew mainly fucked off cos of Mark's decision to sack off Grass Roots, which was cliquey but also fucking hilarious. Also caused a lot of pissing and moaning from gimps because they didn't get it. Boo-fucking-hoo.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
Still irks me that I only ever met @DC post-TD.
I signed up during the merger but I don't remember if I came over from FMG or not. I just remember being a brainless idiot (still am lolol) and being jumped on pretty hard after every post. :drool:
In all honesty, TTH has probably shaped me more than school did. It exposed me to a whole host of shit I had no idea about. Shaped my politics and alot of my outlook in general. I dread to think who I'd have become withoout this gaff.
/gushing
+ Reputation (have we lost that function?)Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazuuurk
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I don't remember any other boards than the last one. Must have signed up there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Giggles
Was always the same board from 2000 til its death. Pretty much looked the same the entire time too. This (bar tehrefuge) is the first proper offshoot from it. Still remember my first post in TTH, about my first gf vomiting on me on NYE.
2006 I think I was? I remember the your game thread from FM06 either way. Albeit I was nothing but a stalker, which hasn't changed much.
I signed up to whatever iteration of this shit was around just before CM4 came out.
I believe I posted under "Noodle" or "Manic" because I was really into Gorillaz and/or Manic Street Preachers (was also 12-13 years old).
I remember I got shit on a lot for being American and then also admitting that I used torrent to download Champ Man. Even though I had no job or nothing to purchase the game myself, let alone find it in America.
I don't remember a lot from back then other than playing some 2D soccer game where you'd start 3v3 but then when the other team scored you'd lose a player or some shit.
I remember thinking how weird it was some guy (I think literally Hull City Tiger or something was his s/n) would support such a small shit club (no offense anyone) when he could support someone big like Man United like me.
Then I remember Hull got promoted to the Prem however long ago that was and thinking about him like awww I hope that guy is so happy.
After that I used to just show up and do annoying "Look at me I'm an American!" bits under Bruhdihno on the old site.
I remember Apples and DJ Luca as well, top lads.
I wish I had stuck around and been more active in the community. It's weird to think I've somewhat posted on these things for almost a decade and a half and have no real memories with you lot to show for it other than making an ass out of myself all the time.
Anyways.
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I remember turning up on this place at 13 or so and getting absolutely murdered despite having posted on several other forums so I thought I had this internet life on lockdown. Then everyone ignored me for years, to the point where I'd been posting for a solid 2 years and still not getting a WDYTOE entry and now everyone refers to me as running the gaff despite never putting a penny toward it :drool: #TheLife
The first forum I was ever part of is now a subreddit. That's a demise. So I count us as winning.
My introduction was text talk and I was immediately told to stop it without even a welcome. From that moment, I knew this was the place for me.
I know this is probably a joke, but just in case; piss around with anyone's real lives over something said here and you'll be immediately and permanently banned. Not on at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
I think Mark was right into the idea of SI Affiliate status around that time so he'd have wanted anyone admitting to piracy shot at dawn.Quote:
Originally Posted by bruhnaldo
Mark was alright, tbf. It was Brighton that was the cunt. Running a Dutch VHS porno store together and that.
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You haven't gotten over any of your issues, have you? Be honest.
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Ok well disappear somewhere else then. You offer less than dquincy.
Will you two just give it a fucking rest for a day. Ever since I've posted on here Smiff has gotten abuse, which to be honest was never on due to the issues he had in the past, and you've previous for it across both boards MJ. Problem being Smiff won't just turn the other cheek and it turns into a tedious wankfest everytime.
I've huge previous for it, and admit I crossed the line countless times, but holy shit you're adults.
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It's an internet forum, lads.
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:harold:Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
You are such a boring twat.
About five words short of a Marilyn Monroe quote there, Smiff ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
I dunno, probably just me, but I like how chilled this place is generally these days and then all of a sudden the sniping of old kicks back in and as a 32yo its just fucking embarrassing to read. And yes, I don't have to read it, but when its scattered across threads with the same old fuckers desperately scoring points, fuck's alive. What's the point?
As mentioned before, we're all a bit fucked, crack on and grow up.
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O...k.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
I'm keeping well out of it. i genuinely fear you and won't be engaging you in any form any further from here. I firmly believe you're one step off a rapist/butcher and I've no interest in an internet forum being the cause of anyone belonging to me being subjected to whatever goes on in your head.
Carry on with whatever you like, you'll get no more 'pops' from here.
I was thinking more along the lines of Ant's donut than Michael Myers, but yeah, you can assume that if I spot you in the paper for having knifed MJ you'll be getting a ban.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
And of course that's not alright. I've pinged people for it in the past but I don't think MJ replying to your nine lives quip as he did really constitutes telling you to do your wrists.
Wait a minute, real life actions are bannable offences?
Some sinister shit. Think I'm out now too.
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Anyway I'm back on the BBW train and fucking the living hell out of one recently. Had a couple of years off from women but its good to be back, especially when their hunger is that rampant they'll devour cock at any hour.
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You've been off women for a couple of years? Have you been with blokes?
Had two three year relationships back to back, then a couple of shorter flings. Just wanted chill time without the whole bullshit that comes with women so basically went celibate bar my right hand for a while. Really enjoyed it tbh :D
Lol look at your ears pricking up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
I've been there and done that way before your time tbf Hammer ;)
:D ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic
What did you say?Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammer
Idiotmouse. :drool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
I recently found a picture of Spikey in a pink dress on an old computer and I have no idea how old it is or why it was there.
Teh Refuge is down, so I can't find it, but that message he wrote on MySpace...
Any idea, Lewis? I know there were kisses involved.
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I'd be twice the flaming liberal I am without TTH. And I sometimes get admiring chuckles when I say "for fuck's sake" in real life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spikey M
+1Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Soldier
That was Lpoolboy. Spikey's was something like 'Can't believe you actually added me. Erm... har dee har.'
Do-be-do. Classic Fuge that.
Two pages of circle jerking without a single mention of 'Tick Tings' Taz is criminal. Still not over him flaking when we had plans and I was in London a few years back.
Unfortunately, Taz lost all credibility and respect when he went off crying because his new name got mocked.
I do kinda miss Taz, he was fucking hilarious.
Zimidy too, actually. If only to laugh at.
He's probably been locked up in an asylum by now.
How can we get them back?
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DS :cool:
I seem to remember your last relationship went tits up unexpectedly didn't it? Was she a bunny boiler or something like that?
I wouldn't worry about Taz. He'll be back, you know, if the worst happens.
He lost all that before the move, with his MELTDOWN in the WDYTOE.Quote:
Originally Posted by SvN
i only started posting in about 2013. i used to lurk a lot before that but inexplicably it seemed more appealing to get involved when it had stagnated a lot. i just found the idea of you all knowing each other for over a decade, posting on a forum ostensibly dedicated to football manager when about 5 people still actually played it really funny. i also found the idea of me joining in when i did quite funny. funnier than the reality of my actual posts though, sorry about that.
Replace all instances of funny with tragic and depressing and you've nailed it.Quote:
Originally Posted by igor_balis
Funnily enough, he was on my facebook feed the other day as he's moving to Boston. Oh how quickly they grow. :*****(Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
Mark was an ok geezer. Just completely mental ;)
And this is a brilliant whoooosh!Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiffy
We haven't had one in a while.
Was Karl (DM) on TTH or was that another forum? He was a prick.
On here.
He pops up on my LinkedIn. Think he's an IT manager now. Says it all.
Think I joined in 2008 but I had lurked the FM areas for a few years prior. I've only ever offered anything to this place when I've been drunk and or having some kinda mental episode.
There laughing at you, not with you.
*begins rocking uncontrollably*
Lachlan43 is on my Facebook. He takes a great interest in women's college sports in America.
You pop up on my suggested freinds.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonsky
Having Spoon on Facebook is shit. Makes me really jealous of his Bohemian ways as I get older and more miserable.
Don't worry, I get jealous of your idyllic family life as well.