That bowling line-up isn't very inspiring. Foakes back though. :wub:
Somebody tell me what to think of Lees?
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That bowling line-up isn't very inspiring. Foakes back though. :wub:
Somebody tell me what to think of Lees?
We have picked two bowlers who aren't functional right arm medium pacers, so I guess there's that.
Dan Lawrence at 4 is bold, hope he makes runs. On the other hand, I'm not sure why Ollie Pope's on the trip at all if his job is to sit in the sheds having a wank. Should be back home with his coaches.
He's alright. No better than what's gone before him.
The wicket looks a bunsen already. Root better have bought his bowling shoes because am I fuck tolerating 40 overs an innings out of Jack Leach.
Lawrence's absolute megafilth will come into the game I reckon, although Root does love a bowl.
I do a love a my bat, my ball type of captain. Our club captain is the same and it gets the the members seething, which is brilliant. To be fair he's by far the best batsman but he's put on about five stone since his peak with the ball so he just farts it out now.
Ha, just looked at the Pakistan score. 252/0 in the third innings as they shake on a draw.
:drool:Quote:
Australia end the match with a bowling average of 238.33, the second worst for any team in a Test match. (min: 1200 balls bowled)
The Windies cricket anthem sounds like the stadium didn't get the rights to play it so dubbed it over with some generic reggae.
In the Melbourne Test against us they averaged 12.63, which according to my calculations means England are almost 20 times worse than Pakistan.
Nothing better than an overweight club seamer still thinking he's 21 and can bowl rockets. Especially now I'm an umpire and I have to hold their sweaty caps for the endless forlorn spells (I assume this horror will come back after covid).
You'll be pleased to know apparently not. Our league have said holding caps and jumpers is not coming back this season which apparently is at the behest of the ECB, but it's still to be officially confirmed. Sweat and saliva on the ball is set to be permanently banned as well, which I'm livid about.
BT needs to have cricket taken off them immediately, purely for employing fucking Ian Bishop for this series.
Got to love the BT sport app working fine while some dickheads were wanking on about nothing and then conking out the instant the match is actually about to start.
And it's not on TMS.
I'm just going to assume "Fuck the ECB" will cover me here.
Yeah it's on fucking talkSPORT.
I was genuinely about to post "I'm back, so get ready for a wicket" and I've switched on just in time to see a review. :D :uhoh:
I'm surprised about the sweat and saliva, it will be so much admin for us having to penalise the fuckers all the time (did it about 5 times last year and I wasn't even looking for it).
Players will have no idea how great the not holding clothes thing is, though. Will genuinely raise the standard of umpiring by a fair amount. So much easier to get it right when you're in a relaxed position and not twisted up holding some angry bastard's cap and jumper.
Sorry lads.
I do it all the time. Last year I'd just get a telling off and the umpire would sanitise the ball (some brands worked brilliantly for shining the ball so we were doing it intentionally in big games) but I can't see sanitiser remaining at hand anymore, so fuck knows what will happen.
Red Ball Reset. :drool:
What a catch mind. Classic Crawley.
I reckon I did it 4 or 5 times and every single time without fail, the player in question would say 'What? I thought we were allowed to now?' as if I was born fucking yesterday. Club cricketers probably the most predictable bunch of people on the planet.
No ball sanitising though, that's just mental.
Here we go, ripped to shreds by Jayden Seales.
Comforting knowing that in an uncertain world, the England cricket team can provide some consistency. Helps keep you centred I feel.
Deary me.
:drool:
How low would we have to go for the ECB mafia to eat humble pie and appoint someone ruthless like Kirsten to sort this mess out?
Fuck coups on Putin, Tom Harrison needs to go first.
Should probably just open the batting with Broad and Anderson.
All the under 30's back in the shed. Reset going well.
They've just put up the leading wicket takers in Tests list again and I still can't get my head around Dale Steyn. Phenomenal strike rate.
Ashwin doesn't count because 80% of his wickets are in India. Should be a giant asterisk next to that cunt.
I never quite knew how Dale Steyn did it. Had basically one weapon, the outswinger at pace. A decent weapon I suppose, but I guess it must have been the relentless accuracy that gave him that strike rate.
"Bluey and The Benjamin"™ on the counter.
All is forgiven with the BT coverage. Gower is on that was Sky’s biggest cock up the other year when they cut costs.
Harmison isn't too bad to be fair.
Joe El Wilson is fucking garbage.
YJB with 3 tons on the bounce (including the warmup). Is he BACK? Probably not but lets enjoy it while we can.
We still have some batting to come so if we can avoid the usual morning collapse we really should score 350.
Poor bloke in way over his skis.
This is proper 'answered his critics' stuff from Bairstow, so it's important we keep criticising him so he always has 'a point to prove'. A nod too for Foakes finally getting selected and immediately doing something useful (again). If we get 300+ we're well in the game.
It was always a BIG if but we almost got there.
The Windies don't seem to be too perturbed about facing England's hungry young bowling attack.
Looks like the red ball reset might have missed the batting and hit the bowlers.
You can never tell what a pitch is like until both teams have batted on it…
Is my dislike of Overton a bit irrational? I don’t know what he brings to the team, but obviously the people who know more than me see something in him.
He's a nothing cricketer and an unrepentant racist, there's plenty to be going on.
Didn’t know about the racism thing, good to know I’m a spiffing judge of character.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ian Bishop commentate and him not get a ball in his hand and attempt to explain how swing works.
:D
Cricinfo comment on our express new ball pair of Overton and Woakes. Bowling their wonderfully pedestrian mid 70s - low 80s.Quote:
"Thank you for obliging us with the speed reads Alan. Can you confirm that Woakes and Overton are being measured by a bloke with a stopwatch at square leg?"
Jimmy can do that until he is 45.