The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

Beard to hide the gubbed jaw, stealthy work

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Not sure about the beard. He looks like Anton Walbrook in the 49th Parallel.

I’m gonna say it. Magic is better looking than his missus

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Originally Posted by 7om

I’m gonna say it. Magic is better looking than his missus

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaG5SAw1n0c

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Originally Posted by 7om

I’m gonna say it. Magic is better looking than his missus

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He was better looking than the last one too. He's a handsome lad.

I don't approve of the broccoli haircut though.

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Originally Posted by 7om

I’m gonna say it. Magic is better looking than his missus

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But what an absolutely soulless cretin of a person though. If he married a badger he’d be the less human of the couple.

:lol:

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Originally Posted by Giggles

But what an absolutely soulless cretin of a person though. If he married a badger he’d be the less human of the couple.

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Who needs soul when you've got the looks baby.

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Originally Posted by Magic

And there were loads of rubgy sized benders with bootcut jeans and quirky t-shirts so I probably would have missed him.

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I went this year, I was wearing this though:

https://i.ibb.co/k5WQdwJ/w08ey060735w.jpg

Got a free pint out it :D

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Originally Posted by Magic

Who needs soul when you've got the looks baby.

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I wouldn’t let a couple of the homos on here give you too big a head fuzzy.

I’ve been with a girl for about a month and a half and I have a sudden serious worry she might be pregnant.

Why, who’s she been shaggin?

One can hope.

Have you not been bagging up?

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Originally Posted by Lofty

Have you not been bagging up?

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Putting a bag over his head won't help with that.

That happened me back in my secondary school days. I don't think I've ever been as happy as the day I found out she was a bike and some other chump was lumbered with it.

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Originally Posted by phonics

I’ve been with a girl for about a month and a half and I have a sudden serious worry she might be pregnant.

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Work on your pull out game lad.

Well if you're having sex and not using protection, I mean, you know that's how it works right?

What since when

The condom is to protect you. The pill or whatever is to protect her.

Like one night stand I get you can do something stupid if you're pissed but if Phonics has just been happily spunking away inside this poor Herefordshire lass for a couple of months and is now going "shit hope she ain't pregnant" then something drastically must have gone wrong, presumably in his brain

Never ejaculate bareback inside anyone you wouldn't trust with £20.

All the gammons with their life advice after the horse has bolted. Where were you when phonics was doing his missus in the ear

I don't think you can get pregnant via ear.

Spunking In her ear is probably safer (for him).

Hope she’s fit.

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Originally Posted by Giggles

That happened me back in my secondary school days. I don't think I've ever been as happy as the day I found out she was a bike and some other chump was lumbered with it.

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Great?

I think this needs more unpacking.

Are you trying to recruit him into you Fathers 4 Justice branch?

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Originally Posted by Magic

Great?

I think this needs more unpacking.

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Unpack what? Bird gets up the duff, not mine - outstanding result.

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

I don't think you can get pregnant via ear.

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Oh look at Mr Shagger over here

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Originally Posted by Giggles

Unpack what? Bird gets up the duff, not mine - outstanding result.

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Yes...for all involved. I do wonder if this caused you all the issues you have, or at least compounded them. Interesting.

That's what the Ukrainian called me.

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Originally Posted by Magic

Yes...for all involved. I do wonder if this caused you all the issues you have, or at least compounded them. Interesting.

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:D I’d say nice try but it’s not even that.

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

That's what the Ukrainian called me.

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It was a slant rhyme maybe.

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Originally Posted by Magic

Yes...for all involved. I do wonder if this caused you all the issues you have, or at least compounded them. Interesting.

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Calm down lad. I don't think Giggles raising someone else's kid would make another man raising yours any easier. :console:

Congrats magic.

Congrats phonics.

Confirmed. I’m a dad.

:lol:

:drool:

I’ve set myself a low bar and it’s slightly above the Scottish piss weirdo.

Welcome to the club mate.

Congrats mate.

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Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel

The condom is to protect you. The pill or whatever is to protect her.

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Unless he's riddled.

What exactly has gone on here? Was it a drunken encounter? Did she lie about contraception?

Who gives a shit. Does it change your life? You've been the most personal aggro weirdo, to the point I've had multiple complaints, to various posters in this forums short time existing and you think I'll share that stuff with you? Get fucked.

Unlucky phonics lad.

TBF I was so desperately single it's kind of cool I won't be in a wheelchair at their graduation.

When's the wedding? We all invited, yeah?

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Originally Posted by phonics

Who gives a shit. Does it change your life? You've been the most personal aggro weirdo, to the point I've had multiple complaints, to various posters in this forums short time existing and you think I'll share that stuff with you? Get fucked.

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Chin up.

Manc just wanna say those PMs to Phonics weren't anything personal, I just felt you were, at times, attributing negative connotations to people of multi-ethnic backgrounds.

Anyway, this is Allah's retribution, son, let that be a lesson next time you think of being a big man moderator.

Mother's maiden name?

Harold if it is a boy. Mantralux (?) if a girl.