Game of Thrones Series 6: sponsored by Clarke Excitement Vacuum vs. Dinklage

[John]

Because they didn't write it that way.

[Dquincy]

Very good. Missed you.

[Kikó]

Why did bran not use a flamethrower? It's so fake.

[The Merse]

Just re-watching the episode now as I was packing to fly whilst watching it on Monday... Did Sansa withhold the info on the Vale Knights because they're basically HER army, with no faelty towards John as he's not related to the Arryn's like Sansa is? Hence, she will be the lady of Winterfell and he's relegated to just being a commander of an army rather than Lord/Warden of The North etc?

[ItalAussie]

Just re-watching the episode now as I was packing to fly whilst watching it on Monday... Did Sansa withhold the info on the Vale Knights because they're basically HER army, with no faelty towards John as he's not related to the Arryn's like Sansa is? Hence, she will be the lady of Winterfell and he's relegated to just being a commander of an army rather than Lord/Warden of The North etc?

That's the impression I got from her conversation with Littlefinger earlier in the season.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She should make him the warden of the North but she's a bitch.

[The Merse]

Oh and p.s.

There are crossbows in this episode for fuck's sake.

[Cord]

They certainly put the Sansa's personal army thing out there for everyone to consider, but I assumed she didn't mention it on account of having previously told Littlefinger and his army to sod off. I know she then changed her mind and wrote that letter, but I don't think we ever saw her getting a reply. She probably didn't mention it as she had no idea if they'd actually turn up. Well, that and it allowed the writers to have a big damn heroes moment at the end of the episode that was only completely predictable rather than a sure thing.

I still doesn't make massive sense why she didn't mention the possibility they were going to arrive, but I can sort of see why you'd keep quiet about that army you said no to unless you were actually sure they were on their way.

[Disco]

Oh and p.s.

There are crossbows in this episode for fuck's sake.

I'll point out that I'm going by memory of the books, I've barely watched any of the series.

For fucks sake.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'll point out that I'm going by memory of the books, I've barely watched any of the series.

For fucks sake.
Tyrion killed Tywin with a crossbow...

[Disco]

Spoilers mate.

[Kikó]

But other than those numerous examples, when has a cross bow been used?

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Episode is out now chaps.

[John]

Well fuck me. That was superb.

[SvN]

I might be overreacting because it's only just finished, but that's quite possibly the best episode of anything I've ever watched. Holy shit.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

If anyone could make a Dorne scene worth watching it's Olenna.

[ItalAussie]

I might be overreacting because it's only just finished, but that's quite possibly the best episode of anything I've ever watched. Holy shit.

I was pretty much going to post the same thing.

Outstanding.

[ItalAussie]

Also, a decent line I saw in the internet:

That's why it's called "King's Landing".

[Bernanke]

What an episode.

[GS]

Fucking hell, that was amazing.

[Bernanke]

Out of all of the scenes, the Davos and Melisandre scene really stands out to me. Liam Cunningham deserves all the awards.

[elth]

Fucking hell Ital :D

What a crackerjack episode. Take away Sam's snoozeworthy Citadel visit and it would have been rolled gold from A to Z.

[Lewis]

Is Jaime Lannister going to end up killing his sister?

[Bernanke]

Is Jaime Lannister going to end up killing his sister?

It's interesting that she basically just did what he used as justification for killing the Mad King. He didn't look happy when he returned.

Oh, and also:

http://i.imgur.com/UE0cMkl.gif

[elth]

Is Jaime Lannister going to end up killing his sister?

He *is* almost certainly the younger of the twins...

[Bernanke]

He *is* almost certainly the younger of the twins...

Books:

That part of the prophecy isn't in the show.

[SvN]

https://i.imgur.com/oSTiyBD.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/wzU2Cbc.png

Intrigued to see how this becomes significant.

[Byron]

Oh man, I'm pumped to watch this when I get home :drool:

Because of the football, last Friday was the day where we were able to catch up on episodes 6-9 and just wow. So if the last one has topped Ramsay getting his faced chewed off then I can't wait.

[SvN]

Get out of the thread you maniac.

[Byron]

Eh, I don't mind the odd spoiler. Actually doesn't detract from my enjoyment.

[Alex]

Good lord, that was amazing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

None of you are exactly playing down expectations for me.

[Browning]

It was really fucking good. Lady Mormont stole it again though.

[Byron]

That was quite possibly one of the greatest bits of television ever.

Davos :cool:

Arya :cool: :cool:

Fucking Lyanna Mormont :cool: :cool: :cool:

[Bernanke]

Lyanna Mormont is all kinds of :cool:

The actress is 10.

[Mazuuurk]

Next episode will most likely end with:
- Denaerys sailing off to Westeros
- White walkers walking around close to the wall or something, giving it the old staredown
- Bran having some vision (100%) confirming R&L=J
- Sam meeting Ser Friendzone in Oldtown?
- Cersei burning down the sept of Baelor
- Arya showing up in White Harbour...?
- Varys meeting with someone in Westeros, most likely in Dorne


- Check
- Nope
- Check (!!!)
- Half check
- Check
- Half check
- Check

Not that much of that was hard to guess.


This episode was a little too nice in the sense that all the people you like in the show did the stuff you wanted them too. I'm even starting to sort of like Cercei for fucking things up so utterly.
To be honest, too nice to be a true Game of Thrones episode.

Next season is definitely starting with all the cool people dying.
Oh and I kind of feel like Jon will end up dying at the end of all this, it seems a little prophecized now, thining about how Melisandre said "maybe she brought him back only so he could die again".

Also, Denaerys paving the way for Marriage in Westeros will 99% mean she goes off and marries her - err - nephew - seeing as all the other options seem to be women or have killed her father (fire & ice yo).

[Cord]

I've decided the ice zombies are just an extremely long form version of that Monty Python Spanish Inquisition joke where they finally arrive just as the credits finish rolling.

Other than that, really good episode. Still giving me slight hope of dragon lady being evil with her comment about not feeling anything when she ditched the dull chap. Don't fancy a Sansa v. Jon plotline though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Loved it, Lady Mormont is fucking killer, Bronn with more amazing lines (she wants you golden fingers up her cunt might be the best ever) and Arya, plus Jon King of the North Starkaryean.

Fucking wildfire too.

Also I assume Dany will probably rock up in a few more places before finally making it to Westeros, can't have her going direct because it would be so out of character.

[Ian]

So is Arya still meant to be a sympathetic character or what?

[Kikó]

I've decided the ice zombies are just an extremely long form version of that Monty Python Spanish Inquisition joke where they finally arrive just as the credits finish rolling.

Other than that, really good episode. Still giving me slight hope of dragon lady being evil with her comment about not feeling anything when she ditched the dull chap. Don't fancy a Sansa v. Jon plotline though.

I love that analogy. I suppose they're being given the Borg treatment in star trek. The more you see them and the more vulnerable they are, the less you fear them.

Mormont is a badass but the quick flip because some little girl reminded them they were wet was a little bit of a stretch. Great episode today and my missus came out with a cracker "Littlefinger is going for a little finger" before wagging her finger in front of me.

Dany is still about as charismatic as a jar of flowers but at least she's finally on the move.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So is Arya still meant to be a sympathetic character or what?

She's offing a character with pretty much no redeeming features in a comical fashion, so I reckon so.

Did she take a pack of faces with her from Braavos or what? The chronology was all a bit out.

I can't see how Dany doesn't just piss past Cersei with ease, and then take the Iron Throne with Ron Snow as her consort after they unite to lol off the white walkers. Please don't be that predictable.

[randomlegend]

Mountain to kill a dragon :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

What factions have we got, then?

- Cersei in KL with Mountain, Qyburn and seemingly Jaime (plus the rest of the Lannisters)
- Daenaerys crossing the sea with Tyrion, the Greyjoys and dragons, and Dorne + Olenna + Varys seemingly about to join them
- Jon Snow at the head of a newly united North
- Euron Greyjoy doing who knows what

Then also hanging around:
- The night's watch, about to get trampled by the white walkers
- The brotherhood pissing about, complete with the Hound
- Arya teleporting everywhere
- Littlefinger presumably about to get the hump

Anyone else I've forgotten?

[SvN]

Dorne, Olenna and Varys are already with Daenaerys

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, but not physically.

[SvN]

Yeah they are. Varys was stood behind her and Martell and Tyrell banners were on some of the sails.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh right, even more time travel and teleporting than I thought.

[SvN]

Or the more sensible option of a few months passing between scenes.

[SvN]

I reckon Euron aligns with Cersei once he realises that Daenerys is no longer on the table. Makes the fight a bit more interesting, at least.

[elth]

Presumably Arya swapped the Waif's face on the wall for the one she has now. Of course if we see a random assortment of unknown actors offing people left and right for the next two seasons, I suppose she's got more.

[ItalAussie]

Or the more sensible option of a few months passing between scenes.

I can't understand how people have so much trouble with this idea.

[ItalAussie]

So is Arya still meant to be a sympathetic character or what?

You're meant to be worried about who she's turned into, while rooting for her to retain some of her humanity.

[Mazuuurk]

I can't understand how people have so much trouble with this idea.

I think it's not the idea itself, it's a little how it's all cut that makes it feel like they are hopping around and everything in each episode is happening simultaneously, more or less during the same day.

Then again, with how much they need to cram into each episode, I can see how they don't have time for panoramic shots of the seasons changing, or you know that sort of stuff.

[SvN]

Would also get a bit fucking dull constantly having "3 months later..." title cards every 5 minutes.

[Kikó]

It was snowing in Winterfell which seemed to be a big indicator that time had passed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's a pacing issue. Some storylines seem to be progressing day by day, others hop months at a time, often within the same episode.

[Bernanke]

Would also get a bit fucking dull constantly having "3 months later..." title cards every 5 minutes.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZZ81_Wkykfo/hqdefault.jpg

[Ian]

You're meant to be worried about who she's turned into, while rooting for her to retain some of her humanity.

Still, it's hard to caveat "She's still good deep down!" with the occasional bit of surprise cannibalism. Even if Walder deserves nothing but the worst.

[John]

The Varys stuff was strange. He and Tyrion saying goodbye to eachother before his 'mission' got more screen time than the mission itself and his return combined.

[five time]

I thought Margaery handing over that rose to Olenna would have more significance than it did. What was her endgame?

[SvN]

I interpreted it as her way of telling her she was playing along. As for her endgame, Christ knows. Not get blown to bits was probably at least part of it.

[elth]

I think so - that was her way of saying "I got this". End game was getting Loras back, then using her...persuasion...skills to get Tommen by the short and curlies and nut the High Sparrow.

Oops.

[five time]

I thought the same but nothing materialised, presumably she was waiting for Cersei to be offed before doing anything.

[SvN]

What elth said makes sense. I guess stage one was getting Loras through the trial, then sorting Tommen out after that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Or maybe she just wanted to be nice to her Grandma.

I guess that's an alien concept to you pricks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In the books there is an older brother heir to Highgarden who just sits inside all day doing naff all, I take it he's been written out of the programme.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Willas with the gimpy leg.

[phonics]

Shoutout to Tommen after seeing The Sept blow up.

http://i.imgur.com/KBNcZ.gif

[ItalAussie]

I thought it was implied in her argument with the Sparrow that the deal was she and Loras would be given the opportunity to leave. I think Margery just wanted to escape at that point.

[randomlegend]

Fuck I didn't realise that was the end of the season.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Apparently season 7 will only have 7 episodes and season 8, the final, will only have 6.

Christ knows how they wrap it all up in 13 hours.

[randomlegend]

WALL TO WALL ACTION.

:harold:

[five time]

After building them up for 6 seasons and them doing nothing, the useless white walkers are going to get donned in the space of two episodes.

[Bernanke]

Wall comes down in the last episode of next season, mark my words.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How about the first scene of the first episode? It's about time they stopped doing their nails.

[ItalAussie]

Next season (7 of 8):

Euron and Cersei will be the primary antagonists.

They'll join forces, leading to the second-last episode being a climactic battle between two armies of similar size for King's Landing.
Cersei will realise she's going to lose (due to dragons), and either try to or succeed in blowing King's Landing up.
Jaime will kill her, and may die himself in the process.

The final episode will be the wall coming down, as Bran crossing it with the Night King's mark will destroy the magic barriers. Dammit Bran.

Season 8 will be all Night's King, all the time.

[SvN]

I think it'll go somewhat similar too. Season 7 will be the final confrontation to decide who ends up on the iron throne, then the final season will be the living versus the dead.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Also I bet Sam ends up killing Kingers, otherwise why would they bother having his story at all.

[ItalAussie]

I assume Sam is going to discover how to make Valyrian steel.

That or he's going to hook up with Jorah, and/or Euron will attack Oldtown on his way down.

[ItalAussie]

I'm also not convinced Cersei particularly wants to join forces with anyone. It's the one catch in my guess.

But when Euron realises that Dnareareerays is allied with his relatives, and Cersei realises that Dnarausrsys is coming for King's Landing and has an army many times the size of the Lannister remnant, it'll wind up making sense for both of them.

And I think that has to happen, because the penultimate episode isn't going to be a dull curb-stomping. It's going to be a large-scale battle between two similarly-sized armies, and I can't see any other way that can happen.

[five time]

Bran crossing it with the Night King's mark will destroy the magic barriers

I can see this happening, but you'd have thought the old guy would have made sure to have told him 'don't go south of the wall'. Kind of renders the whole thing pointless otherwise.

Or maybe that happens anyway if the Night King wasn't incompetent and managed to kill him.

[SvN]

The Three Eyed Raven knew everything that will happen though. He can't stop it.

[five time]

At least how it was portrayed in the show, he looked surprised or didn't intend Bran to be touched by the Night King, so I don't think he's entirely omniscient.

[Disco]

Thought I'd catch up on the series (never watched anything past the second and am now into the sixth) and I think I've lost count of the number of times someone is killed after being surprise double teamed from behind, there must be at least one every episode. It's quite good on the whole, better than I expected.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There is some balderdash within but given the limits of turning the source material into watchable TV, they do a great job on the whole.

[Disco]

Yeah, all the changes I noticed seemed sensible given the transition from book to tv.

I have discovered a yawning plot hole though, Euron Greyjoy tells all his mates to build a fleet by cutting down trees and quartersawing them. I mean give your head a wobble mate, what are you doing, making a sideboard? Immersion shattered.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm still pissed that we're not going to get any of Strong Belwas.

What a geezer he is.

[Disco]

The extra Bronn/Tormund/Sandor that we got made up for it though.

[Raoul Duke]

The actress who plays Shea has been in actual porn http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Sibel_Kekilli which is findable on the internet :|

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Such old news.

[Ian]

I wasn't aware either, so fuck you Mahow.

Although I also don't care and won't watch it.

[Adamski]

Must just be old news for people who go outside.

[Bernanke]

Re-watching ahead of the new season.

Early episodes are fucking terrible on so many levels. Can't wait for Cersei to deliver.

[SvN]

Really? I rewatched recently and absolutely loved the first season. I think season five is the only proper mis-step.

[John]

I assumed he was watching the sixth season only again. The early episodes of that were pretty dire. I still maintain that the Hodor episode is the worst thing they've done. I had a bit of a lol upon realising it was directed by Jack Bender, who also directed about half of Lost.

[Bernanke]

Really? I rewatched recently and absolutely loved the first season. I think season five is the only proper mis-step.

Meant early eps of S6.

[Dan]

I'm also watching s6 again. I'm so glad other people think The Door is fucking dumb :D

[SvN]

I can't remember much about early season six, but I know I enjoyed it. I didn't have a problem with the Hodor thing.

[Bernanke]

http://i.imgur.com/dI7sBPq.gif

Madness... has had it's daaaay!

Still the best moment.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The actor who plays him (Mace) is brilliant.

[Alex]

We don't need a new, "official" season seven thread do we? Apologies if I've missed one.

The first episode was alright I suppose, at least within the confines of the "this is what everyone in Westeros is up to right now" blueprint that usually seems to start a new season. I didn't realise there were only seven episodes this time around. Full steam ahead, I suppose.

Arya killing all of the Frey's in one fell swoop like that was a bit daft. That logistics of pulling that off must have been a nightmare. Presumably there was some sort of lead time between killing him and organising and hosting that big old feast of death. How fucking long was she impersonating him?

Sheeran too. :sick:

Wholly unnecessary.

But other than that, mostly all good. Dragonstone looked really cool. I hope we see more Euron Greyjoy this season too, I like him.

[Ian]

I don't think I've been less enthused for a new series of this than I am for this one. I dunno how much of that is because the final endings I think seem likely are all awful.

[Adramelch]

Presumably the song Sheeran was singing is not all that random. That cameo was pretty shit though. I prefer purely "extras" stuff like Mastodon and whatnot.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's going to be Dany beats the ice twats with her dragons, marries Jon Snow and they rule the seven kingdoms forever after isn't it?

Any other ending would shock me to the core.

[John]

Arya killing all of the Frey's in one fell swoop like that was a bit daft. That logistics of pulling that off must have been a nightmare. Presumably there was some sort of lead time between killing him and organising and hosting that big old feast of death. How fucking long was she impersonating him?

They made it clear in dialogue that Frey had been dead for two weeks at most.

If you can just look and sound like whoever you want it can't be that difficult to just gather the family together and dump a load of strichnine in their wine. The logistics don't seem difficult, I just thought the scene went on a bit too long when anyone with a brain will have worked out almost immediately what was going on. They need to at least try to stay ahead of the audience on that sort of reveal based trickery.

It was pretty much exactly what I expected, right down to the Speaker of Platitudes pitching up somewhere other than King's Landing to delay things a bit longer.

You're right to offer Ed Sheeran a whitey, but Jim fucking Broadbent. :cool:

[Browning]

Broadbent was amazing, as expected.

Whole episode felt very average and very safe.

[Ian]

Nice of them to end the episode with a scene to really dull whatever excitement you may have built up.

Imagine how much different it could be if they hadn't cast a charisma vacuum as Daenerys.

[John]

I was thinking that as I was watching it. Cast an actress as good as Maisie Williams or even Sophie Turner in that role and the whole series immediately moves up a level in quality.

Although Emilia Clarke clearly garnered enough attention that utter bullshit like this (http://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/829380/Game-of-Thrones-season-7-Emilia-Clarke-underwear-Daenerys-Targaryen-Spike-Island) is the most read article on the Express website six years later, so maybe she's such a draw in certain demographics that it'd have been binned early doors without her.

[Jimmy Floyd]

She got her tits out early on if memory serves, that will have sorted her for life.

She doesn't in any way get across the hint of madness that is always bubbling under the surface with the Daenerys character.

[Ian]

She really needs to become a / the villain.

[John]

She got her tits out early on if memory serves, that will have sorted her for life.

She doesn't in any way get across the hint of madness that is always bubbling under the surface with the Daenerys character.

Tits and fanny in the first episode and every one for at least the first twenty odd, but it can't have been difficult to find a more charismatic girl willing to get them out on a daily basis. That ginger tart they had playing 'Roz' in the first year or two seemed a much better actress, for example.

I haven't read the books, but through her actions in the program it does seem like she should have an almost Cersei like figure lurking just beneath the surface, and the performance just never comes close to putting that on screen.

I've heard one of the creators, Benioff I think, talking about the trouble they had finding a Jaime Lannister. He needed to be extraordinarily good looking and in his mid thirties but also have the acting chops to play both villain and hero and the natural charisma to make you root for someone who kicked the series off by murdering a child because he got caught fucking his sister. They realised such an actor in America or Britain would already be a movie star so went foreign, found Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, and the job was done. Surely an actress in her early twenties who was willing to get her tits out and could play vague menace behind a facade of good intentions would have been ten times easier to find. Two or three better candidates come to mind just from other actresses who have appeared on this series, Natalie Dormer chief among them.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just watched it, 'safe' does seem quite apt.

I did like the killing of the Frey's but it did go on for too long and was pretty predictable fairly early on.

Sandor having that moment of realisation coming across the house was great as he was responsible for the Dad and his child being dead. Didn't really need his fire watching bit though.

Lol at Sheeran and the extra long camera pauses on his face to show that it was really him every single time he spoke. I was hoping that Arya would slice him open although I knew it was a long shot.

[John]

I think Ed Sheeran might have been there to offer some cover for Thomas Turgoose turning up. He'd be far from the first quality actor to appear and be dispatched long before his reputation would suggest, but there's no chance he's only there for those three singles about making wine. He'll have a part to play.

[Ian]

I haven't read the books, but through her actions in the program it does seem like she should have an almost Cersei like figure lurking just beneath the surface, and the performance just never comes close to putting that on screen.

In my mind that character waiting to happen should basically be "What if Cersei had The Mad King's genes in her."

I find it hard to even know what she's supposed to be at this point because Clarke's dead-eyed delivery gives you bugger all to go on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

With Cersei (who is brilliantly played by the way) it's more of a logical defensive madness, whereas with Daenerys it's basically model princess 90% of the time but with just a hint of Targaryen unhingedness waiting to pop out every so often.

I guess with young actors (and she must have been what, late teens or early twenties at the start?) you're always taking a bit of a punt when there are multi-year complex story arcs to come.

[Reg]

Ed Sheeran is also going to be in the Simpsons. Guess he's using his fame while it's at its peak to pull parts in his favourite shows. http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/ed-sheeran-to-guest-star-on-music-themed-simpsons-episode-w492833

[ItalAussie]

This episode was a lesson in locking doors when you leave the house.

[randomlegend]

You lot are a miserly bunch, that episode was a belting first episode of a season.

The Hound was brilliant.

[Lewis]

Yeah, I thou - ED SHEERAN LOOK - ght it got everything in - ED SHEERAN FROM MUSIC - place.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I bet they offered him a standard cameo (i.e. appear in shot briefly once-twice) and he cried.

[Spikey M]

I was more impressed by the little lad out of This Is England being in it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I wouldn't be surprised, it sounds like he's more precious than bruhnaldo.

He's always crying off Twitter.

[-james-]

Enjoyed that first episode, shit cameo aside.

There must have been something being filmed nearby that has a glam metal extra in it, judging by Euron's costume.

[phonics]

Enjoyed that first episode, shit cameo aside.

There must have been something being filmed nearby that has a glam metal extra in it, judging by Euron's costume.

I'm surprised they had enough eyeliner left for the female cast.

[John]

I'm counting Euron's costume as at least half a Russell Brand cameo.

[bruhnaldo]

I wouldn't be surprised, it sounds like he's more precious than bruhnaldo.

He's always crying off Twitter.

Adding my name to your jokes won't make them any funnier, skinhead.

[Spikey M]

So fucking rude

[Disco]

Can't just be nice even for a minute, bloody yanks.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So mean.

[Reg]

How could PSG pay £196m for Neymar when there's financial fair play and they don't have Premier League TV money?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think the Lannisters ever claimed their antics amounted to 'fair play'.

[Spikey M]

A Lannister always pays his debts. Footballers of Latin origin, not so much.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Euron is a fucking annoying twat if ever there was one.

[ItalAussie]

Euron is a fucking annoying twat if ever there was one.

I liked him, but mainly because he was the only person who cracked a smile in the entire first episode. GoT needs to have one or two characters gently ribbing the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I dunno, I was lolling all the way through the Samwell and Jim Broadbent scene.

Ed Sheeran 'It's a new one' line should be edited out of the DVD in case it's contagious.

[John]

The bloke who directed that also directed Ali G In Da House.

[Cheddar]

Theon.

Shithouse.

[Lewis]

Jorah Mormont is BACK (probably). :cool:

[Adramelch]

That was a pretty strong episode all around, even though it still had more Daenerys than you'd like (0 that is).

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The Denier of tits was on top form, christ. Great to see Tyrion slapping down the nonces in the war room though.

Greatest scene was clearly Euron, the fucking beast, putting down two of the sand snakes was one of the greatest things ever.

lol at Theon.

[John]

That whole battle was a fucking mess.

[Spikey M]

Euron is a fucking hero.

The evil laugh as the boat landed. :D

[Townsend]

That whole battle was a fucking mess.

Why?

[Raoul Duke]

Pretty good episode, even if it does feel like the main storyline isn't that interesting and it's the sidelines which are more intriguing (Arya, Varis etc.).

Varis' speech was pretty mega too. Not quite "Chaos is a ladder" but cool

[Kikó]

That whole battle was a fucking mess.

I found it pretty hard to follow. It pretty much came out of nowhere and ended as quickly. Felt like they were trying to pack as much in with only a few minutes to spare.

[John]

I found it pretty hard to follow. It pretty much came out of nowhere and ended as quickly. Felt like they were trying to pack as much in with only a few minutes to spare.

That's because it was staged at night, presumably to offer some cover to the absurdity of a ship that size breezing into the middle of the fleet unnoticed, and both sides were Iron Islanders dressed in identical gear, other than Euron who seems to be on his third iteration in as many appearances. Obviously having a provably crap director in charge of the whole thing didn't help. Black Sails has put on about six better nautical battles than that, and it's ostensibly working on about a tenth of the budget.

It's yet another stall, by the way, because the sequence ends with another huge section of Daenerys' fleet being burned down. They're not even hiding the stalls now, since they're using the same one they used about three years ago because she was obviously ready to go long before the show wanted her to actually go.

I thought they might just get stuck right into the action this year, with the reduced episode order and short amount of time left to resolve everything, but these first two episodes have felt almost exactly as static as the early chapters in the last few seasons.

[Townsend]

Black sails :drool:. Speaking of which Billy Bones as Sam's brother :drool:.

[Ian]

That episode had a bit more about it than last week (Dragonwoman aside) but still, it feels more like shit being shuffled about than anything particularly interesting actually happening.

[Townsend]

I expect Dany to have a cracking at King's Landing soon with one of her dragons getting punched out of the air by Cersei's ballista. Fear of losing the other two will see her spend two more series cowering in Dragonstone.

[John]

Fear of losing the other two will see her spend two more series cowering in Dragonstone.

There are thirteen episodes to go, so that's unlikely.

EDIT - Eleven, actually. I had it in my head that the last two seasons combined comprised fifteen episodes. Fucking hell, that means they have to get from where they are now to the full on end of the entire story in what would traditionally be little over one season. :D

If the next episode is yet more shuffling tripe it's time to start worrying that the whole thing is going to end midstream, much like it started.

[Lewis]

Anyone with a brain, let alone the only known air force, would have found out where the other fleet was before sending their only pissing boats out (with all leadership on the same one for some reason). Need some blokes in there love.

[Ian]

Oh aye, the ballista. When I saw it I thought "Is that it?" Qyburn does his sinister thing and says they have a plan. Is he the only person who could have thought of a big fuck-off missile weapon?

[Lewis]

Oh yeah, and Pat O'Baelish hit new accent heights this week in that crypt scene.

[John]

Crossbows have been part of the universe in the past too, so did it really take 'the best engineers in Westeros' to come up with the idea of making a big one?

[Dan]

That fight scene was a nightmare for the same reasons stated earlier - I had no idea what was going on, and all the embers twatting about in every shot didn't help either. Did Euron get stabbed about fifty times during the fight or was that everyone else & I couldn't tell? It was exactly like when I watched a bootleg of the first (modern) Transformers movie as a teenager & ended up having no idea what was happening because everything looked like the same super shiny metallic blur moving at eight thousand miles an hour.

Other than that it was decent, with Varys' speech being the best bit. Theon probably just needs to be killed at this point, and the Baelish-led Sansa heel turn has been waved around for what seems like an eternity. Meanwhile, Arya appears to have been cast in the Westerosi version of Diners, Drive-ins & Dives.

They do seem to have insisted on starting this series with the traditional three episodes of shuffling everyone around the map without doing much though, so hopefully shit will kick up in the next couple of episodes.

[Alex]

I'm not sure I can be bothered with yet another round of "Theon is a quivering wreck". We get it, he's traumatised. Either kill him off or move past it.

I didn't need that much time dedicated to Greyworm getting his (non-existent) end away either. I bet he dies at Casterly Rock now.

Fair play to Euron for killing two-thirds of the triumvirate of annoyingness that is the Sand Snakes though. What a lad. There's got to be a fair chance that Cersei finishes the other one and the mother off next week. I assume that's where he's going to take them.

[Raoul Duke]

Missandei though :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not sure I can be bothered with yet another round of "Theon is a quivering wreck". We get it, he's traumatised. Either kill him off or move past it.

I was going to say, his character development from useless coward to useless coward over the last seven series has been thoroughly interesting.

That episode had several comically bad moments, ranging from Missandei's get-yer-clothes-off-love turn (is there no underwear in the Seven Kingdoms?) to Grey Worm's inexplicable sex drive despite not having a cock or balls, to the whole Yara and Sand Snakes scene (an exercise in getting the worst actors in the world into the same room and killing them, thankfully), to Euron's impression of Meatloaf arriving on stage, and as Lewis says, Little O'Finger in the crypt (what was the point of that? Or him?).

Maisie Williams, Varys and Peter Dinklage did their best to save it, as ever, but even Olenna had her charisma sucked out by the Portrayer of Nuance.

[Ian]

As much as I'm grateful for him getting rid of a few of the hilariously ineffective Sand Snakes Euron is still a lot of nonsense. But he'll never be the worst thing in any episode that devotes separate scenes to the automaton playing Daenerys and the Grey Worm / Missandei story.

[Adamski]

I assume the point of the Littlefinger debacle was for him to now effectively try to turn Sansa against John in some way, which way I'm not sure as I can't really see a viable end game from that other than Sansa becoming Queen of the North as the (technically) only Stark with true lineage.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Crossbows have been part of the universe in the past too, so did it really take 'the best engineers in Westeros' to come up with the idea of making a big one?

I'm sure they had some fairly nifty siege weapons at Riverrun as well. Qyburn is a greasy twat though so who knows.

[John]

They definitely had at least a trebuchet or two. Euron must have had some siege weapons mounted on his ships to be flinging those fireballs around too.

[Lewis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxBd05c0STo

[Jimmy Floyd]

In the books, the various Greyjoys are as dull as it gets (apart from Brienne of Tarth's hotel reviews sections), so at least they've done something with the characters.

[Townsend]

There are thirteen episodes to go, so that's unlikely.

It was said in jest John, you really are as dull as dishwater.

[Spikey M]

All these cunts with 100 posts between them popping up to snipe at John are great fun.

[Townsend]

I had thousands on the old board son.

[Spikey M]

Oh noes

[John]

I had thousands on the old board son.

None of which had value.

[Townsend]

None of which had value.

Well thats subjective but I suspect some were alright. Better than reading the tripe from "boring boring John".

[Ian]

Lads, I hate to say this but you're starting to make a Daenerys scene look appealing with this chat.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's a low blow.

[Raoul Duke]

Someone get naked to distract everyone, quick!

[Spikey M]

Not you, Mahow

[Browning]

That was a lot better than the first 2 episodes for me.

[Lewis]

Sam seems nicely placed to become Lord of Wherever It Is now. :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Davos :cool:

That's how you introduce a king.

Again though, so much acting talent in a room and 'Dany' shits it up.

All the Sand Snakes officially dead :drool:

Someone needs to shove a knife into Bran's throat though.

Nice to finally see a bit of Casterly Rock as well.

Olenna summing up Joffrey :D

Last 20 minutes or so was top stuff.

[Adamski]

Yeah that was a pretty great episode in terms of moving things along.

Tyrion was fantastic.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Yeah that was a pretty great episode in terms of moving things along.

Tyrion was fantastic.

It gave that impression opening with Jon landing at Dragonstone. I was half expecting that to take 2 episodes.

[Adramelch]

Why do they have to do that "sewer" bit for invading Casterly Rock though? Got a bit boring. We've seen it in Star Wars, we've seen in Lord of the Rings, we've seen it in I don't know how many similar settings.

[Lewis]

To distract you from the siege scenes looking like something off a ten year old strategy game.

[Adramelch]

To distract you from the siege scenes looking like something off a ten year old strategy game.

The whole castle looked a bit like it was from such a game even without the siege, to be honest.

Euron's slowly becoming my favourite character, despite the HIM outfit.

[Alex]

What a twat Bran is. We get it mate, you're the "Three Eyed Raven" now. That doesn't preclude you from having a normal conversation with your sister though. Fucking oddball. He served as an interesting little distraction when he was off behind the wall, away from everything. But now he's back and his "infinite wisdom" shtick has to mix directly in with the main storyline I think it's going to get old fast.

Obviously it must be very odd for Sansa too. The last time you saw your little brother he was a happy-go-lucky, albeit recently crippled, eight year old. Now he's turned back up and appears to be about thirty five and on the spectrum.

I love that they're just playing Euron as a straight-up, comedy villain. It's amazing. Jaime's facial reaction to his question about whether Cersei likes "a finger up the bum" was genuinely, laugh out loud funny.

I always thought the Tyrell's were meant to have a massive army for some reason? I was surprised they got dicked on quite that easily. I much prefer Jaime off in the field though, rather than moping around King's Landing and playing second fiddle to Cersei.

Big Jorah Mormont back at large too. :cool:

Good episode on the whole, I liked it.

[Raoul Duke]

Euron had some top quality lines in that. Nice episode overall although I do kinda wonder if we'll regret the quicker pace as it come speeding to a finale.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a twat Bran is. We get it mate, you're the "Three Eyed Raven" now. That doesn't preclude you from having a normal conversation with your sister though. Fucking oddball. He served as an interesting little distraction when he was off behind the wall, away from everything. But now he's back and his "infinite wisdom" shtick has to mix directly in with the main storyline I think it's going to get old fast.

Obviously it must be very odd for Sansa too. The last time you saw your little brother he was a happy-go-lucky, albeit recently crippled, eight year old. Now he's turned back up and appears to be about thirty five and on the spectrum.

I love that they're just playing Euron as a straight-up, comedy villain. It's amazing. Jaime's facial reaction to his question about whether Cersei likes "a finger up the bum" was genuinely, laugh out loud funny.

I always thought the Tyrell's were meant to have a massive army for some reason? I was surprised they got dicked on quite that easily. I much prefer Jaime off in the field though, rather than moping around King's Landing and playing second fiddle to Cersei.

Big Jorah Mormont back at large too. :cool:

Good episode on the whole, I liked it.

Dicked on by Euron? Wiped out in the explosion in the Sept of Baelor?

Bigger problem is how Jaime and an army managed to teleport over to Highgarden which is, according to this (https://winteriscoming.net/2015/11/10/game-of-thrones-fan-tabulates-distances-between-places-in-westeros/) 760 miles away. Took them by surprise too which is some doing with a massive army.

[Browning]

The worst thing about the Sansa/Bran thing is he basically said "You looked really pretty while you were getting raped".

[Lewis]

Explains why he never stood up.

[Alex]

Dicked on by Euron? Wiped out in the explosion in the Sept of Baelor?

Bigger problem is how Jaime and an army managed to teleport over to Highgarden which is, according to this (https://winteriscoming.net/2015/11/10/game-of-thrones-fan-tabulates-distances-between-places-in-westeros/) 760 miles away. Took them by surprise too which is some doing with a massive army.

I assume Winterfell to Dragonstone is a fair old trek too? But Jon's managed that in the blink of an eye. Because "favourable winds".

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=12&ved=0ahUKEwi27_LvurTVAhWJL8AKHXc4B70QFghcMAs&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sermountaingoat.co.uk%2Ftimel ine%2Finfo%2Ftravel.xls&usg=AFQjCNHg6ReJ0W7hFa1Nmf26GugI9ZgAhg

Even Bran had quite the stroll (well roll on the back of his cart) to Winterfell.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The problem with Bran is that the actor has gone to pretty child, to ugly late teenaged fuck who will never get another acting role after this.

I'm not really sure who has donned who in that episode. Cersei seemed to be winning on multiple fronts, and also getting quite Mad King-y which probably isn't good for her prospects, this being episode three of seven.

Jon Snow and the Mother of Dragons are going to be having sexy time within 5-6 episodes as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh, and Casterly Rock looked like some two star hotel by Boscombe Pier. What a load of rubbish.

[Lewis]

The better distance/time question is how the Unsullied a) avoided Euron Gayboy first time round; and b) managed to get there only half an hour before he did despite him taking in a major battle and a victory parade during the meantime.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Certain people can teleport, others have to undertake endless quests. I fear for Jorah Mormont that he is about to be the latter, although Oldtown and Dragonstone have nothing of interest between them on that map unless he goes to say hi to whoever's now running Dorne.

[John]

Also directed by the man who directed Ali G In Da House, and it showed.

The actual events of the episode were all good and seem to have moved the conflicts along more in one episode than nine episodes of last season did, despite a load of wank establishing shots and Jon Snow and the Buyer of Sudocrem taking five minutes out to do an extended 'previously on' skit, but it was all very poorly staged.

I liked that they handwaved away Jorah the Explorer just being cured by the toilet cleaner with a line about how loads of others had tried the same procedure, cutting away the tree bark and putting some ointment on it. Above all else it's that sort of complete nonsense which keeps this from being on the same level as the properly great TV.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I suppose you could argue that most Maesters seem to be idiots (I like to think it's a deliberate skewering of academics by Martin) and the general medical knowledge in the realm seems to be minimal, but I thought that was bollocks too, as was Olenna having to explain out loud the way in which Jaime had just donned her in case the American idiots watching hadn't picked it up from the five minute establishing video.

[Townsend]

Boring boring John. What an utter utter cunt. John the cut. Old boring John. Shitehead John. Ser John of Cunteros. Tele fwa gwa blud.

[Ian]

Decent episode, that. I initially couldn't work out why they appeared to be rushing so much shit but it did make some sense in the end. Some.

Sadly another of the characters you actually want to see in those one-to-one chats died at the end there. Although on that front it was very nice to see Tyrion, Varyis and those other characters getting to do a bit while that Dany yawned it up.


Why do they have to do that "sewer" bit for invading Casterly Rock though? Got a bit boring. We've seen it in Star Wars, we've seen in Lord of the Rings, we've seen it in I don't know how many similar settings.

Did they do the thing in the TV show about Tyrion having been relegated to Lord Bogmaster by Tywin before now? I'm sure in the books it was mentioned fairly early doors. If that's the first time they've mentioned it on TV then it just seems one of those irritating coincidences.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm sure George has been planning that particular plot twist since about 1992.

[Browning]

I'm fairly sure Tyrion and Tywin spoke about it at some stage, but I can't remember for certain.

[Cheddar]

The problem with Bran is that the actor has gone to pretty child, to ugly late teenaged fuck who will never get another acting role after this.

That's a bit noncey.

[Adramelch]

Did they do the thing in the TV show about Tyrion having been relegated to Lord Bogmaster by Tywin before now? I'm sure in the books it was mentioned fairly early doors. If that's the first time they've mentioned it on TV then it just seems one of those irritating coincidences.

It doesn't matter though is the thing. From the moment Tyrion said something like "the castle walls are impenetrable" it was pretty obvious that there will either be a structural defect or a secret way in, as it's been done to death by now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All child actors are pretty, it's why they get hired.

[Cheddar]

http://fampz.abroaderperspect.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/chris-hansen-149x300.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

It doesn't matter though is the thing. From the moment Tyrion said something like "the castle walls are impenetrable" it was pretty obvious that there will either be a structural defect or a secret way in, as it's been done to death by now.

Didn't the Stealer of Scenes get into Yunkai (or Astapor, or whichever crap place it was) that way as well?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah.

Grey Worm, Daario and Jorah snuck in some back entrance killed a few and opened the main gates.

[Disco]

ANDREA LEADSOM

Nothing to see here.

[Dark Soldier]

Next episode has leaked if ya can't wait

[Ian]

I thought I couldn't wait, a few years ago. The thought makes me sad now.

[Mellberg]

"Flee, you idiot. You fucking idiot."

:D

Fantastic episode. Plenty of Bronn. Jamie and Tyrion are becoming properly relevant again. All is well.

[ItalAussie]

Best episode of the season so far, easily.

[John]

With the exception of last year's finale it's the best episode they've done since Hardhome.

[Browning]

It might just be the hype of only just seeing it, but I feel like that might be the best episode ever for me.

The problem with all the other battles is you usually clearly want one side to win, and even on that side there's only 1-2 characters you really care about. This was a whole new level.

Fucking hell I loved that.

[Lewis]

Yeah, it certainly got things moving again.

[ItalAussie]

The problem with all the other battles is you usually clearly want one side to win, and even on that side there's only 1-2 characters you really care about. This was a whole new level.
Absolutely spot-on. At no stage was I sure who would survive it, or even who I wanted to survive it. At various points I was pretty sure that Bronn and the dragon would die, and when Jaime charged, I couldn't see any way of him surviving. It was just a really well-sequenced battle, and we're running out of redshirt characters now, so everyone matters.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Yeah that sums it up well, I only thought Daenerys was a safe banker.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was so glad that Bronn didn't die, I was sure he was for the chop.

Absolutely brilliant episode.

I also loved the training scene between Arya and Brienne.

I'm not sure what to make of dickhead Brann 'I'm not Brann' Stark. I hope he dies but he's clearly been set up to be something special which is shit.

[Adramelch]

It's a bit weird that I had to google the whole "chaos is a ladder" thing though. I'm all for easter eggs and the likes but that one was a rather big scene.

[Mellberg]

I didn't pick that up either. Rang a bell, but had to Google. Back when Littlefinger and Varys were beastly.

Was also convinced Jerome was on his way out. Chuffed he's been kept on. Couple of the second tier characters are bound to go in the next three episodes, whilst Jamie's story has too much left in the tank for him to get grilled at this stage...although they nearly had me.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I thought the 'chaos is a ladder' bit was quite well known?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If Bran is ALL KNOWING why doesn't he let his sisters know that Jon isn't actually their brother but their cousin?

[Mellberg]

I thought the 'chaos is a ladder' bit was quite well known?

I guess so. Once I rewatched it it came flooding back, but during the episode it drew a blank.

[Lewis]

Get over it, 'How. You were never right for the part anyway.

[John]

If Bran is ALL KNOWING why doesn't he let his sisters know that Jon isn't actually their brother but their cousin?

Because he doesn't give a toss. He needs to take one in the lung as soon as possible.

I enjoyed that the Arya v Brienne tussle was basically Oberynn v Mountain in miniature. It's the first time they've actually showed Arya having a scrap, isn't it?

The final battle was wonderful for reasons mentioned before. It reminded me of something you'd see in an old Western, with a squad of howling Sioux or something taking out an unprepared division of settlers, only with a fuck off dragon. I want the Maker of Popcorn to come out on top because the alternative is Cersei, and fuck Cersei, but I like Jaime and Bronn too much to want them dead, underlined by Bronn openly lolling at Dickon's name.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

But he should give a toss, his primary goal is to ensure that the Night King is defeated right? He obviously knows that dragons would help a lot in that regards and surely she would be willing to help without Jon bending the knee (just do it ffs) if she knows that he is her half-brother.

[John]

He's her nephew.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I blame the inbred lineage for that mistake.

She's still more likely to help her nephew than some random dude.

If Bran told Arya and Sansa they could get the message out there.

[Lewis]

The last Three Eyed Knobhead sat under a tree for thousands of years doing nothing, so the post-holder obviously doesn't think in terms of plans and helping people (other than sustaining itself). He's just there coasting along the spectrum oblivious to it all.

[John]

I think what they're going for is that he's lost all concept of what a familial connection is, so while he knows exactly who and what Jon is now, he doesn't get why it's important. It's a bit of a quick descent into utter shittery, but it fits with what they've showed in his reunions with Sansa and Arya.

[Adramelch]

I thought the 'chaos is a ladder' bit was quite well known?

I'm the more well versed with the series among my friends and I barely remembered it. And we're not your average viewer either. Given the lengths the series has gone to at times to reminds us things that seemed like a very odd exception.

Davos was a don once again it has to be said.

[Lewis]

It was probably his most critical scene in the whole programme, you wally. Wor Davos correcting Jon Snow's grammar was a nice callback as well.

[Adamski]

Fantastic episode.

Would also agree chaos is a ladder is well known enough for it to be revisited in the way it was. Really well done.

[Browning]

Watching "chaos is a ladder" now and it was a good scene but I had zero recollection of it. It really wasn't big enough to just throw it in and expect people to remember it.

[John]

It's Littlefinger's most important scene and one of the more famous lines in the whole show.

[Mellberg]

And yet no one remembers it.

[John]

And yet no one remembers it.

Of those who've posted so far more remember it than don't.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I didn't.

[John]

That evens it out. Lol at you not remembering, you're all about booking everyone else to death.

[Adramelch]

How do you expect the average viewer to remember is more my question to be honest. I've talked to 10-15 odd people about it and genuinely noone remembered.

[John]

Because it was a defining moment for a major character.

Do you remember Cersei doing 'power is power'? As I remember that was a fair while before 'chaos is a ladder'.

[Lewis]

Do you remember when Joffrey died? Do you know what year it is?

[Byron]

I did clock the line, but forgot who said it initially.

That said, what a fucking episode that was. It's been said, but I genuinely had no clue who was going to end up as barbecue brisket during that battle. Olenna must have been lolling from beyond the grave at the Griller of Sausages decimating the entire Lannister army.

[Adamski]

Who was Jaime sending to Casterley Rock to wait out the Unsullied starving to death? Was it just the Lannister army? It was mentioned last episode but can't remember.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The griller of sausages might be my new favourite.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That evens it out. Lol at you not remembering, you're all about booking everyone else to death.

My memory is crap but I will manage to remember some fluff that I have no need of for ages.

[Byron]

Who was Jaime sending to Casterley Rock to wait out the Unsullied starving to death? Was it just the Lannister army? It was mentioned last episode but can't remember.

It was Meatloaf and his fleet of fuck off ships.

[Mazuuurk]

Pretty cool battle, if a little one-sided. Hitting Drogon with one of those arrows sets it all up for at least one or two of them being killed, later wont it.
And probably coming back as undead at some point.

Also, not surprised Jaime survived, as he's about nailed on to end up as the one killing Cersei, isn't he?

Quite hope Jon Snow keeps his balls and doesn't bend the knee to the Queen of Oneliners.


On another note, while most of this series all seems to be playing towards the all-expected "Man versus Zombie" finale, I'm still really quite puzzled by what Littlefinger is the fuck up to. After Varys and Melisandres little "we're the common folk" chat in the last episode I'm starting to think something along the lines of Jon & Denearys save the realm and mankind and what have you, but all important people end up dying in the end battles and that - In the end peace comes and the lands are all ruled by Littlefinger & Varys (possibly as part of some ridiculous old cult or some shit like that) who were the only ones who didn't manage to get themselves killed.

At least I have a vague recollection of reading or hearing George Martin saying he envisaged an ending to the saga that was bittersweet, and that seems like a plausible one - it ends alright for the people but none of the fucking characters you care about.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Melisandre proclaimed Varys' death.

She didn't say when but you'd have to think it would be this season.

So Littlefinger to own it all with his shit accent.

[Adramelch]

Littlefinger is not long for this world either is my understanding.

[Mazuuurk]

If Littlefinger dies at this point, what the fuck was the point all along...?


EDIT: And also, why do you think so Adramelch ?

[Adramelch]

If Littlefinger dies at this point, what the fuck was the point all along...?


EDIT: And also, why do you think so Adramelch ?

It's mostly been theories I've heard/discussed with friends, nothing solid. But with Arya having seen him mingle with Tywin Lannister, Bran being Bran and Jon Snow not liking him you'd imagine his chances are not the best.