European Football - 15-17/03/2016

[Magic]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/all-fixtures/

Yes that is lazy but not sure where the others get the lists from? Is it a C+P job or a manually typed job?

[Giggles]

http://i.imgur.com/nc22Mg8.jpg

[Magic]

:D

This forum will be shit when it's just us two.

[Byron]

What would the Reg Signal be? A picture of Di Maria's face?

[Disco]

Could you post them in larger text, the NSA spy satellites are having trouble reading them off my phone.

[John]

I'm running my laptop through the TV at the moment, so as I see it that might be the biggest ever image.

[Giggles]

:D

This forum will be shit when it's just us two.

Imgur ftw.

[Baz]

Cmon u reds

[Giggles]

The PSV game looks like the optimum choice for tonight.

[Magic]

Indeed. Can't see Kiev doing anything.

[Magic]

PSV manager looks like a sociopath.

[Magic]

Jesus Christ that's Philip Cocu?! :D

[Magic]

Andres Guardado. FM legend. :cool:

[CJay]

I sense an upset in Madrid. PSV look decent.

[Chrissy]

I sense an upset in Madrid. PSV look decent.

Yeah, very under-rated side. Well at least by the bookies.

[Raoul Duke]

These games are garbage.

We need to get rid of the entire Champions League and just have Barca vs. Madrid every other Wednesday. 'El Liga Clasico Mucho Gordo' (sponsored by Mastercard, Visa, Coca Cola, Enron etc.)

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Another 30 minutes of this, how fun.

[Giggles]

Dire shite. I told her to go ahead and stick on the end of First Dates.

[Browning]

John's mate Samir Carruthers is making headlines:

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/501372/cheltenham-penis-pint-urinating-Samir-Carruthers-mk-dons-jessica-hayes-katie-salmon

[Magic]

What a horrible bunch of cunts.

[Pen]

Is Oblak great at penalties or am I just basing it on the Europa final where he was good.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Quality from Guardado with the pass and then just utter shit.

[Magic]

Absolute lol at our society when two shitebags from Brizzle City and bloody MID are considered VIPs. :harold:

[Bernanke]

These are some shit penalties from PSV. Three in a row down the middle.

Oblak is terrible.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They just don't want the game to end.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Narsingh you fucking twat.

[Bernanke]

It's gonna be goalie vs. goalie. :drool:

Edit: Or not.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I wanted goalie vs goalie :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was probably the difference between Holland having 1 or 2 Champions League places in the years to come. Oh well.

[Waffdon]

These are some shit penalties from PSV. Three in a row down the middle.

Oblak is terrible.

For one of the best 'keepers around, he looked rather clueless.

[ItalAussie]

I'm never going to shed a tear for teams who were playing for penalties.

[GS]

Atletico. :cool:

[Giggles]

Old twitchy is never short of work.

http://www.rte.ie/sport/soccer/2016/0316/775206-redknapp-reportedly-accepts-two-match-jordan-gig/

[Magic]

Match are people going with?

[Max Power]

Has to be Bayern/Juve.

Fancy the Old Lady to pull off a shock

[Magic]

Camp Now Gary?

[niko_cee]

SSN are saying Tony Pulis has been ordered to pay Palace a metric fuckton of cash (£3.8M) for something or other.

[Giggles]

Were they not only suing him for £1m?

[Vim]

Chiellini, Marchisio, Dybala and Mandzukic out.

Buffon; Lichtsteiner, Barzagli, Bonucci, Evra; Cuadrado, Khedira, Hernanes, Pogba, Alex Sandro; Morata

[Max Power]

Pulis in the Chinese Super League :drool:

[Magic]

What are you thinking Vim?

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35823932

What are the BBC doing paying people to come up with that?

[Vim]

I'm thinking that there must have been a mistake in the mid-season physical workload, unless we've just been ridiculously unlucky with the injuries.

Either way, it will take a massive performance to go through tonight, but it's entirely possible.

[Magic]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35823932

What are the BBC doing paying people to come up with that?

That's like something you'd find in a student magazine.

[Samadini]

Benitez has met up with Adam Armstrong :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd bet against the Wills and Kate one.

They'll stop at two children.

[SincereTheRebel]

Good decesion for arsenal to start iwobi. He has looked decent everytime he has come on. Everyone else besides cambell down that right hand side has been terrible.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Neuer :face:

[Max Power]

Game on in Munich :nodd:

[Vim]

Easy.

Let's not park the bus now, though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pep CRASHING OUT at this stage would be classic. Probably end up leading City to the title.

[Magic]

Arsenal shite off now.

[Max Power]

FRAUDiola more like!!!

If he leaves without a European cup it has to go down as an overall failure surely?

Long way to go though. Juve already have dropped about 10 yards deeper

[CJay]

That was ridiculously easy for Barca.

[Lewis]

Bayern deserve to lose for this (https://twitter.com/FCBayernEN/status/709757488875311104). You're not funny, Germany. Stop.

[Raoul Duke]

Arsenal already lubed up for a complete bumming here

[Max Power]

Football clubs Twitter banter is truly the worst of the worst.

[Magic]

Back to arsenal. I'd prefer to see them get donned than a great game between the cheats.

[Waffdon]

That didn't look offside at all.

[Magic]

Danny Welbeck is the answer to all of the questions about what Arsenal are shit.

[CJay]

What a run by Morata. That dummy by Cuadrado. :drool:

[Max Power]

Brilliant counter attack. Juve have been superb

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Goodnight Bayern.

For as poor as their defence has been, Juventus have done really well to punish them.

[CJay]

Seems like Pep is made for City.

[Waffdon]

That was beautiful. The composure from Cuadrado :drool:

[Vim]

Fucking hell Morata.

[Lee]

That's a fantastic goal.

[Max Power]

Khedira booked for tying his laces :cab:

Feels so weird but I really want Juventus to do this.

[Toby]

Reminded me of Henry's run against Real Madrid the season Arsenal made it to the final. Brilliant from Morata, and I definitely did not expect that sort of composure from Cuadrado.

[Waffdon]

Khedira booked for tying his laces :cab:

Feels so weird but I really want Juventus to do this.

It's always great seeing "Pep" fail.

[Magic]

Reminded me of Henry's run against Real Madrid the season Arsenal made it to the final. Brilliant from Morata, and I definitely did not expect that sort of composure from Cuadrado.

Bitter.

[Toby]

What?

[leedsrevolution]

I'm done with this place. Fuck sake.

[Giggles]

Fuck, that should have sealed it.

[Raoul Duke]

Looks like Chelsea dropped a bollock by not hanging onto Cuadrado.

[Toby]

There was no way he was ever doing anything for Chelsea. Sometimes players just don't suit clubs - Chelsea especially - and he was definitely one of them.

[Magic]

Seething.

[CJay]

There was no way he was ever doing anything for Chelsea. Sometimes players just don't suit clubs - Chelsea especially - and he was definitely one of them.

He didn't even come close to being given a fair crack of the whip. Not to say you're wrong, he might not have worked out, but he never really had a proper chance. And he came in at the start of some fairly average form, which probably didn't help. No doubt he's in a better situation having left, though.

[Toby]

He didn't even come close to being given a fair crack of the whip. Not to say you're wrong, he might not have worked out, but he never really had a proper chance. And he came in at the start of some fairly average form, which probably didn't help. No doubt he's in a better situation having left, though.

You don't get a "fair crack of the whip" at Chelsea, that's a huge part of the reason some players will never work out there.

[Lewis]

It's always great seeing "Pep" fail.

Rumour has it that Jose Mourinho keeps my 2011 posts on the matter in his wallet.

[Magic]

You don't get a "fair crack of the whip" at Chelsea, that's a huge part of the reason some players will never work out there.

Torres? Shevchenko?

:harold:

[Vim]

Morata was onside as well.

[CJay]

Morata was onside as well.

That finish was pure filth.

[Toby]

Torres? Shevchenko?

:harold:

They were actually past it and shit, rather than just ill suited to the club. If you're talking about the fact they had plenty opportunity, yeah, fine, but as 'marquee signings' they're the loss chasing exceptions.

[Magic]

They were actually past it and shit, rather than just ill suited to the club. If you're talking about the fact they had plenty opportunity, yeah, fine, but as 'marquee signings' they're the loss chasing exceptions.

Didn't cost that much less than Sheva.

[Lewis]

'Sheva' was signed about a hundred years ago when five clubs in the world could afford a thirty million signing.

[Vim]

Alex Sandro is absolutely insane.

[Magic]

Arsenal have scored? What?

[CJay]

Same thing every season. Arsenal could be ahead on aggregate if they had the bottle to take their chances.

Morata is molesting the Bayern defence tonight.

[Max Power]

Pogba's control of arial balls is ridiculous. They should be four up here easy

[Toby]

Didn't cost that much less than Sheva.

That's an understanding of market value on a par with your pizza buying.

[Reg]

Switched over to Bayern at half time. Juventus 541, assume they didn't start that way?

[Magic]

:cool:

[CJay]

What a volley that was. :D

[Lewis]

Arsenal have scored? What?

It's not like them to only make a go of it when there is absolutely no pressure on.

[Magic]

I haven't seen any of the 5 goals tonight.

Flicking. :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lewandowski :cool:

What a hero he is.

[Magic]

FFS. Missed that one too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You're winning at life, Magic.

[Waffdon]

Ref has given everything to Bayern here.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Tommy fucking Muller :wub:

[CJay]

This is what you get for sitting in your own box for 45 minutes. Lovely goal.

[Magic]

No joke. I just went to get a drink of water. Fucking hell.

[Max Power]

Shit from Evra. No way Juve hang on in ET.

Mandzukic for Morata was an awful sub, they haven't had any focal point since then. Just a Croatian statue up there plodding about

[Lee]

These two legs have been superb.

[Waffdon]

Tommy fucking Muller :wub:

It's "Tam", mate.

Pogba really shouldn't have dummied that. fffffs

[Mazuuurk]

Penalties again please :drool:

[Giggles]

I turned off when Morata went off (and the Mrs wanted to watch the Restaurant).

[Mazuuurk]

By the way can someone explain why the fuck Juventus has loaned out Coman to Bayern (and how he's not cup-tied...?)...?

It just seems a player who wouldn't get much playing time in Juve wouldn't get it in Bayern either...

[Toby]

Juventus should really have wrapped this up in the first half. They could have walked it while Bayern looked vulnerable. Can't see them getting anything unless they hang on for penalties.

[Vim]

That's that then.

[Magic]

The wife is hinting at sex for the first time in two months. Not tonight, love.

[Vim]

Morata - Mandzukic sub fucked it up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This has all gone a bit Greg Norman. Thomas Müller is ace, though. There was a great interview with him recently here: http://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/feb/23/thomas-muller-modest-assassin-bayern-munich-germany

[Mazuuurk]

The wife is hinting at sex for the first time in two months. Not tonight, love.

Did she say "Imagine I'm Arsenal, love"...?

[Magic]

Did she say "Imagine I'm Arsenal, love"...?

I said sex, not rape...

:highfive:

[Mazuuurk]

Does Aggregate scores still apply in ET?

[Mazuuurk]

I said sex, not rape...

:highfive:

Well, kinda feel Arsenal might secretly enjoy it a little.

[Magic]

Is lichstiener playing upfront now like?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The ref has a first touch comparable to Mandzukic.

[Mazuuurk]

Muller would be the perfect player for Arsenal, I reckon.

[Toby]

Does Aggregate scores still apply in ET?

Away goals you mean? Yes whichever way.

[Raoul Duke]

Ribery tries to do too much, every time.

[Magic]

Told her to go in the shower, that should buy me time to watch this.

[Waffdon]

Spurs last played in the UCL in 2011 and have still reached the quarter-finals more recently than Arsenal.



lolz

[Magic]

Spurs last played in the UCL in 2011 and have still reached the quarter-finals more recently than Arsenal.



lolz

'Arry. :cool:

[Vim]

Can't believe we've given away a two-goal lead. :(

[Mazuuurk]

Away goals you mean? Yes whichever way.

Yeah exactly.

Doesn't that mean it's a huge benefit to play Away in the second leg? I guess you don't have the home support.

[Magic]

:harold:

The Old Lady just had a coronary.

[Lee]

That's a lovely goal.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bayern's subs have worked and Juventus's haven't.

[Bob Sacamano]

Pep :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Coman has been fucking great since coming on.

[Mazuuurk]

Awww, poor Juve.

[Lee]

Fucking hell.

[Vim]

Let's see that foul on Pogba.

[Magic]

And now she dead.

[Max Power]

Oh well. Should have got the third (and they did have a perfectly good goal disallowed). Bayern really cranked it up from about 70 minutes onwards.

This ref has been an absolute disgrace btw

[Lewis]

Isn't he on loan from Juventus? What is that about?

[Mazuuurk]

Let's see that foul on Pogba.

Yeah that did seem harsh. More so because of the goal, granted.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Isn't he on loan from Juventus? What is that about?

A long term loan with the option to buy.

Juventus obviously didn't put in a 'cannot play against parent club' clause in, the amateurs.

[Reg]

Can't believe we've given away a two-goal lead. :(
Very unlike Juventus.../any Italian team.

Glad to see Bayern take the lead to be honest. Juventus staying 541 in extra time was a very negative move, can do without the defensive teams going through.

[Vim]

Isn't he on loan from Juventus? What is that about?

With an option to buy, but there was never any intention by the player or club for him to come back.

[Mazuuurk]

Isn't he on loan from Juventus? What is that about?

Right? I was saying that. Seems a little retarded.

[Giggles]

Thank God I didn't watch the rest. Fucking 'pep' the smug cunt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sturaro :harold:

[Magic]

That chance. :D

[Vim]

Unbelievable, come on. How can you not score there ...

[Max Power]

Juve have had more and better chances in the game probably.

Great game though, the best two legged tie I can remember for a long time

[Mazuuurk]

Mandzukic could have at least made the end here interesting, the bastard

[Magic]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/08/30/15/2BCE107500000578-0-image-a-35_1440944400608.jpg

[Vim]

Mandzukic's entrance was the turning point, might have been coincidental but he didn't run at the defence like Morata did and from then we let Bayern just push us into the box.

[Magic]

Wish me luck lads. About to embark on a two legger.

[Giggles]

Wish me luck lads. About to embark on a two legger.

Do us proud.

[Magic]

Apparently the moment is gone.

It was worth it though, cracking game.

[Vim]

We're all rooting for you Magic.

edit: well then.

[ScousePig]

Muller would be the perfect player for Arsenal, I reckon.

Sunderland, too.

[Giggles]

Too much end product for Arsenal.

[Vim]

Hard to say, he's one of the best players in the world, but when drive and determination are such a big part of his game, I wonder how he'd perform outside of his favourite club and his national team.

[CJay]

He'd be a Pedro.

Maybe. :D

[Magic]

Now the Berk has fallen out with me because I asked her to take a shower. :sick:

Fuck getting married, lads.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hard to say, he's one of the best players in the world, but when drive and determination are such a big part of his game, I wonder how he'd perform outside of his favourite club and his national team.

I don't think he'll ever have to.

[Lewis]

Hipster Roy Keane lives to call Arsenal weak.

[Davgooner]

Few thoughts:

1) Roy Keane's a miserable twat.

2) Who'd have thought Alex Iwobi would don the Nou Camp?

3) ARSENAL ARSENAL ARSENAL ARSENAL ARSENAL

[phonics]

Did you go Dav? Looked proper grim.

[Davgooner]

Was lovely for the best part of two days, then just before going over to the ground it started pissing it down and didn't stop for the rest of the night. Doesn't help that you're closer to the moon than the pitch in that gaff, and there's no roof.

[Giggles]

Any good rumbles?

[Davgooner]

Non-stop mate.

[Magic]

Do Arsenal fans in their heart of hearts seriously expect to be challenging the likes of Barcelona in their prime?

According to Twitter, yes. Yes they do. :harold:

[Davgooner]

Of course.

[Giggles]

One of the top teams in THE BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD EVER should be challenging anyone. They seemed to approach this like they hadn't a hope before a ball was kicked.

[Magic]

They hadn't. Correct approach tbh.

[Davgooner]

We had more than enough chances to do something last night. Barring a brain freeze with 20 to go in the first leg, I think we were decent enough over the two games. At 1-1 yesterday they were looking a bit wonky, but when you've got that front three you're never going to panic too much.

[GS]

I think, on balance, it's fair to say that Arsenal were 'swatted aside' over the course of the two legs.

[Lee]

I decided to watch games I'd not normally bother with based on how close the ties are. Chose Lazio vs Sparta Prague and Braga vs Fenerbahce. Been rewarded so far with two lovely early goals for Prague in Rome.

[Magic]

Will watch the bin dippers seethe and cry as scum outshit them and scrape through, securing agent LvG's next contract.

[Giggles]

What time is the biggest game in the history of football on at? I'm still not sure if Setanta are showing any of them this week.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sparta Prague are bolters. Not even top at home. Mind you, Lazio are shit.

[Baz]

Biggest game of the season tonight and I feel like dog shit :( Hopefully a good game can fix me.

[Magic]

Sparta Prague are bolters. Not even top at home. Mind you, Lazio are shit.

:harold:

[Magic]

Why are they billing this as the biggest game of the season, cup final etc. It's the fucking 6th round of a second rate European cup nobody gives a shit about.

[Magic]

Scholes is such a biased cunt.

[Magic]

Milner at LB. :drool:

[SvN]

You're this close *holds index finger and thumb 5mm apart* to warning points for spam.

[Magic]

Someone post. :(

[GS]

I was quite enjoying the monologue, actually.

[Giggles]

Someone post. :(

Meh, it's the Europa League.

[Max Power]

Nev's boys stunned by a lovely Athletic Bilbao away goal. They've played really well actually, as well as I've seen Valencia this season.

[Magic]

LvG WRITING HISTORY with a win in the 6th round of said second rate European club championship. Oh how they've fallen. :drool:

[Giggles]

LvG WRITING HISTORY with a win in the 6th round of said second rate European club championship. Oh how they've fallen. :drool:

Did they win?

[Magic]

:S

[Jimmy Floyd]

:harold:

Was Harold a big Lazio fan?

[GS]

Both are fascists, so it's highly probable.

[Kikó]

Can't wait to win 2-1 tonight.

[Magic]

Sakho is a few shades darker than Cess' away kit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fellaini to run riot with elbows flying all over the shop.

I've gone on over 3.5 elbows to be thrown in the game.

[Serj]

Can't find a decent English stream that doesn't get taken down constantly, so I am watching on Fox Sports. One of the commentators started off saying how excited he was to see these two big "brands" competing. :sick:

[Giggles]

Fellaini to run riot with elbows flying all over the shop.

I've gone on over 3.5 elbows to be thrown in the game.

One on Klopp would be enough to get me to switch over to the game.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's the first :drool:

[Kikó]

Ffs those misses.

[Magic]

Scouse cunts are bottling it here.

[Pen]

Can't find a decent English stream that doesn't get taken down constantly, so I am watching on Fox Sports. One of the commentators started off saying how excited he was to see these two big "brands" competing. :sick:

Think I'm watching the same one. 'Europeas series' as a reference to European football :sick:

[Magic]

Have the Yids fielded a second team again? Kane on the bench I see.

[Luke Emia]

I can see us getting knocked out. Penalty aside Sturridge has been dogshit over the game and a bit so far.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Have the Yids fielded a second team again? Kane on the bench I see.

They were 3-0 down, I'm surprised they've sent anyone over the age of 20.

[SvN]

We better fucking score this.

[Magic]

Yep penalty. Lol @ the scousers.

[Serj]

For fuck's sake, Clyne.

[SvN]

Owen sounds like he's desperately trying to create controversy over that penalty.

[Luke Emia]

Might be soft but thick as shit to give it away. Don't put your fucking leg in there and give him the opportunity he's not going anywhere.

[Kikó]

It was a penalty and should have had one earlier for the push on Fellaini. Sakho v Fellaini is a massive shit off.

[Pen]

I'd blame that more on Coutinho than Clyne as he's 'clever pass' to the edge of their own box was idiotic.

[Luke Emia]

I think it's a penalty I would want one. We could get rolled for 3 or 4 here.

[Serj]

Coutinho has generally not been good enough so far.

EDIT: As I write that, he gives an easy ball away again. Off at half-time, please

[Giggles]

http://m.rte.ie/sport/soccer/2016/0317/775615-banner/

[Max Power]

Coutinho just isn't that good full stop. The most overrated player in the country. Scores a 25 yarder everyone now and again and that's about it

[Kikó]

Owen is a thick twat.

[Pen]

Don't get to say this often, but that was quality from Fellaini.

[SvN]

Coutinho just isn't that good full stop. The most overrated player in the country. Scores a 25 yarder everyone now and again and that's about it

Twat.

[Kikó]

Varela has been done all half. It was coming.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck you Max.

Fuck you right in the eye.

[Max Power]

Coutinho just isn't that good full stop. The most overrated player in the country. Scores a 25 yarder everyone now and again and that's about it
Great shout

[Magic]

:D

[Luke Emia]

Overrated you say, might have been shit for 45 but that is a great goal.

[Serj]

Well done, people. That was a masterful group-jinx. :D

[SvN]

De Gea has had a right mare there. Looked like he didn't know where his goal was.

[Baz]

"An absolutely marvelous goal"

[Magic]

Think De Gea could have spread himself a bit better there?

Also what a moral destroying time to score a goal. :drool:

[Kikó]

Bit shit but you have a player running at you unchallenged and they can easily make you look a mug. Good goal.

[Pen]

That's the tie I think :(

I agree with SvN that De Gea should have done better there.

edit: Of course he's not the one to blame for it, but he's positioning seemed off.

[SincereTheRebel]

That was bad defending from the man utd defender. Coutinho twisted him up differently.

[Pen]

Basel with some pretty lol defending are 3-0 down in Sevilla. Also that goal that Athletic scored to put Neville's boys out was a thing of beauty from Raul Garcia, the pass for it I mean.

[SvN]

I thought he'd chipped De Gea at first, but from the replay it looks like he's just passed it into the massive gap at the near post.

[Kikó]

Yeah on replay it was poor from Spanish Dave. Valencia is warming up.

[CJay]

Varela going off in a body bag after that. Didn't Milner storm past him at one point as well?

We were terrible in that half. United are so open, but we've messed up every opportunity to punish them. At least the game is put to bed now.

[Ian]

Also what a moral destroying time to score a goal. :drool:

It's a great time to score for Liverpool, you have to say, but it's a game of two halves.

[Boydy]

Clyne is having a terrible game tonight after being so good last week.

[Reg]

Fellaini is a sham of a footballer.

[Kikó]

It's a sham to call him that. He's a fraud.

[Davgooner]

He was pretty good at Everton.

[Reg]

Why hasn't any journalist just asked, "Why do you play Fellaini?"

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's the second elbow, just two more :drool:

[Magic]

Basically three down and only subbing your full backs. :cool:

[Kikó]

Full back subs. Mint.

[Lewis]

Why hasn't any journalist just asked, "Why do you play Fellaini?"

It's the most bizarre aspect of his entire United spell.

[Ian]

Van Gaal loves to keep them full backs fresh.

[Kikó]

Borthwick-Jackson is warming up.

[Pen]

Full back subs. Mint.

Or outside backs as they're apparently know too.

[Kikó]

Paul Parker is warming up

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fellaini :face:

Actively killed that attack.