Brown Town

[Dquincy]

How often do you take a dump?

I assumed the healthy shit schedule was once a day. However, after speaking with someone about this, they were taken aback that it wasn't more. To my surprise they informed me that they shit twice a day and believed this was a standard poo programme.

On a side note, it does annoy me when my poo schedule gets affected and i don't have my morning crap.

[Lewis]

Every twenty minutes.

[Dquincy]

Every twenty minutes.

That option is not in my poll. :(

[Magic]

Banter.

[John]

You've dropped at least four or five shits tonight.

[Dquincy]

You've dropped at least four or five shits tonight.

John, what say we start afresh by you apologising to me.

p.s Fill in my poll please.

[Giggles]

I could go once a day but I normally save it for a monster one every second day.

[Shindig]

Two usually does me. I'd imagine a lot of this goes down to diet and metabolism.

[Dquincy]

I could go once a day but I normally save it for a monster one every second day.

If i hold a shit in for more than 12 hours, it'snot a pleasant experience when it comes out.

[Lee]

It used to be once a day. Since I've lust weight and generally just eaten more healthily it has gone down to around three times per week. Which is disappointing, as I enjoy a good shit.

[Pepe]

Once a day (in the morning) with the occasional double header.

[Giggles]

If i hold a shit in for more than 12 hours, it'snot a pleasant experience when it comes out.

It's more satisfying when it reams the hole off you.

[Lee]

Sometimes, when I know it's going to be a big solid one, I'm scared to go. That knowledge that it's going to hurt for a prolonged period as it forces its way sideways out of your hole. And once you've started there's no going back. Like having a baby.

[Dquincy]

Sometimes, when I know it's going to be a big solid one, I'm scared to go. That knowledge that it's going to hurt for a prolonged period as it forces its way sideways out of your hole. And once you've started there's no going back. Like having a baby.

You see I like those types of craps. It's the pleasure pain experience.

I hope that's not a homosexual tendency coming out of me.

Plus it normally means it's a one wipe operation.

[Lee]

When you suffer with piles three or four times a year it's not something you want. The fucking blood.

[Spammer]

Every day at 9am.

Might have another at some point, but there's always one ready at 9am.

[Spoonsky]

I've never kept track of how many I do in a day and I have no plans to. I'd guess it's about two.

You can't beat a good shit though.

[SincereTheRebel]

I may have a problem because i seem to go on a regular. I do one in the morning before 8am and several at work brfore 5pm. I even made them decorate the bathroom at work better, purely for my own benefit

[Samadini]

Two today already. One around 6:20am and one right now as I'm typing this.

Will update with every other shit I have today.

[Byron]

Usually around once a day. My diet is awful at times though so sometimes I can come out with a right blinder around lunchtime.

[John Arne]

I only just thought about this... but I can't remember ever having a shit in the morning.

Usually, one after lunch - and another in the evening if required.

[Kikó]

Two to three times a day usually after a meal.

[Dquincy]

I may have a problem because i seem to go on a regular. I do one in the morning before 8am and several at work brfore 5pm. I even made them decorate the bathroom at work better, purely for my own benefit
Do you just eat a shitload of food?!

We have two toilets at work, one has no radiator and it's on an external wall. Winter months in there are grim.

If I have a maccies breakfast it will be coming out of me in under 2 hours. Biologic feat.


Two today already. One around 6:20am and one right now as I'm typing this.

Will update with every other shit I have today.
:D Please do.

Also, what's the etiquette with cleaning up your mess? If there's skids on the pan, I'll make a half arsed attempt to clean it, but I'm not using the bog brush to do it. Gross.

[Magic]

I use a little plastic cup, fill it with water then drop it on the leftovers. Takes a while but it's effectively touch free maintenance.

I'd go as far as to say it's a life hack.

[Sam]

Once at around 10 and another around 2. More to break the day up if anything.

[SincereTheRebel]

Do you just eat a shitload of food?!



I dont feel I do. But my diet might be a reason for it. Ill have to do some testing.

[Lee]

Had a beauty this morning. Reckon there might be more to come as well.

[SvN]

I often shit 4 or 5 times per day. Pretty sure I've got some type of wheat sensitivity, as I suffer terribly when I eat a lot of bread.

[-james-]

Every day within half an hour of my first cup of tea, and/or at 6am if I've had an Indian for dinner the night before.

[Sam]

To be fair, anything spicy and I'm on/off the bog for the foreseeable future. I love my spicy food as well but it plays havoc with my insides. Night before we were due to fly back from Alburfeira we went for a curry, I went for a Jalfrezi with extra chillis. Spent the whole time at the airport and most of the flight back with my arse planted on the seat, was like a gushing river of molten lava, pretty sure that plane will never smell the same again.

[Magic]

It used to be once a day. Since I've lust weight and generally just eaten more healthily it has gone down to around three times per week. Which is disappointing, as I enjoy a good shit.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, mate, but you do realise if you eat healthier you should be shitting more frequently?

Basically, RIP.

[John]

To be fair, anything spicy and I'm on/off the bog for the foreseeable future. I love my spicy food as well but it plays havoc with my insides. Night before we were due to fly back from Alburfeira we went for a curry, I went for a Jalfrezi with extra chillis. Spent the whole time at the airport and most of the flight back with my arse planted on the seat, was like a gushing river of molten lava, pretty sure that plane will never smell the same again.

Clay Oven. :drool:

[Sam]

Clay Oven. :drool:

The one and only, one of the finest Indians I've ever had.

[Vim]

Once a day, but some days I don't need to go if I haven't eaten much. I used to have a problem a few years back that I wouldn't go for like 3/4 days and then do a massive painful one, but that was because I was eating too much while moving too little.

[Dquincy]

I haven't shat all day. Hopefully the latte will shift it.

[Dquincy]

It worked. Coffee often works. :cool:

[Bob Sacamano]

Suffer with constipation so 2-3 a week, though each one is a good hour long stint

[Magic]

Lots of freaks on here, imo.

[Toby]

It worked. Coffee often works. :cool:

Well, yeah. It's recognised as essentially being a mild laxative.

[Pepe]

Lol at carrying a little plastic cup around.

[Giggles]

I've a monster ready but I'll wait til after the football.

[Magic]

I don't carry it around FFS.

[Pepe]

What else do you carry in your fanny pack?

[Dquincy]

Always get constipated on holiday. I assume it the different foods. But it's like im crapping rocks.

One time, after an operation, I was massively constipated and had to caress the boulder our with my hands.

[Boydy]

It used to be once a day. Since I've lust weight and generally just eaten more healthily it has gone down to around three times per week. Which is disappointing, as I enjoy a good shit.

I thought eating more healthily would make you more regular?

[hfswjyr]

I've learned way too much from this thread. Well done Dquincy.


I've never kept track of how many I do in a day and I have no plans to. I'd guess it's about two.

You can't beat a good shit though.
It's not exactly something that I keep track of either, but surely it's something you can recall? Not the hardest thing to count 1 or 2. Obviously be worried if it was like 43.

[Lee]

I thought eating more healthily would make you more regular?

It depends what I eat. Bulky stuff has me going, light stuff means I wait a couple of days.

[Magic]

Not good enough to reply to my initial observation eh?

[Lee]

I didn't notice until much later, the moment had long passed.

[Magic]

No wonder the consultants don't respect you.

[Lewis]

It's the only thing passing by the sounds of it.

[Samadini]

4 shits today.

I don't see another coming, so if it does I've probably shat myself.

[Pepe]

How many pizzas?

[Samadini]

I've had quite a lot recently but none in the last few days. Last night had leeks, potatoes and sugarsnaps. Don't eat breakfast because staying in bed longer is better. Cheese and mayo sandwich for lunch and jacket potato with cheese and beans for dinner tonight.

Tomorrow could be good.

[Dquincy]

Adding to this subject, I love a good fart.

For obvious reasons my farts always smell worse when I need a shit. Also, they always smell far worse when I'm ill. So much so, I can predict when I'm going to be ill by the smell of my farts. Quite odd.

A day after drinking ale is always a dangerous one re that subject area.

[Giggles]

I had 4 litres of stout and a lamb madras last weekend. The next day I nearly had to pull the van over and get out a few times. Never smelled rank like it.

[Dquincy]

Anyone sharted before? Be honest.

I did, twice.

[Giggles]

I absolutely destroyed myself in my sleep after an all day session once. Had all dried by the time I woke and I was that hung over I went back asleep for 3 hours after realising what I'd done.

[Lee]

Several times. One morning a few months ago Lauren thought I'd done a rancid fart so I kept up the lie until she got up to go to work. I'd shat myself really but she'd have killed me. That's just the most recent example.

[simon]

I absolutely destroyed myself in my sleep after an all day session once. Had all dried by the time I woke and I was that hung over I went back asleep for 3 hours after realising what I'd done.

I reckon that's the most grim thing I've ever read.

[Dquincy]

Haha. Fucking brilliant Lee Giggles

[John]

Farts are the least trustworthy bodily function.

Giggles has posted that story before and it was just as disgraceful then as it is now. Every part of it is inconceivable to me.

[Giggles]

Farts are the least trustworthy bodily function.

Giggles has posted that story before and it was just as disgraceful then as it is now. Every part of it is inconceivable to me.

I had nearly 20 pints of stout and some of a chicken ball supper from the remains of one on my table. Was in a house share at the time so getting to the shower had to be timed well anyway, though nothing was getting me up first time round.

I don't get the inconceivable bit though. I did a massive shit in my sleep/unconsciousness and once it's out and I wasn't awake then it's out of my hands.

[Lee]

If I had twenty pints of anything in a sitting I'm pretty sure I'd die. I'm not exaggerating either, I really don't think my body could cope with that.

[Giggles]

I only did it a few times in my much younger days. 8 now and I'm in bits.

[Lee]

If I hit 6 pints there will be vomit before bed. I just can't do it. I used to be able to but those days are long gone.

[SvN]

It depends on the duration, really. I've hit 20 pints in a day before, but that's been an all day affair. I rarely feel sick from beer, but 3 or 4 vodkas has me all over the place.

[Sam]

I didn't shit myself but attempted to take a dump after an all dayer. Never again, ended up nearly launching shit everywhere as I faceplanted the floor.

[SincereTheRebel]

One of you clowns must have displaced a chicken foot because it appears now, i have pliers.