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Samadini
21-09-2015, 01:51 PM
TTH: Survivor Redux
This was originally posted by DarkSoldier, a user who is missing, presumed to have gotten a life. It was a little before my time, but still provded me a solid hour of amusement reading the thread. It would be sad to see it dissapear, so I've brought it back to be archived. So, enough of my rambing, and onto the rambling of someone far more interesting than myself.

- ItalAussie

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TTH Big Royale Survivor – Eviction, Death and Insanity…Redux.


It was March 2003. TTH had hit an all-time slump. Everyone sat bored, laughing at fuckwits and wondering who the weird n00b German was. Shit happens. Then there was a decision…how about a TTH reality show? This idea obviously came from DS’s mind, as he wrote the fucking thing. Here:


TTH. 2003. Reality show. Here are the vote results:


1st: Oimoi 961 votes
2nd: [SG] 923 votes
3rd: Fry 874 votes
4th: D_D 822 votes
5th: Brighton 809 votes
6th: Henry 763 votes
7th: BeckhamFC9 714 votes
8th: DC 702 votes
9th: LDNT 682 votes
10th: Poplexter 637 votes


The vote for the ten to be parachuted in after the first week:

1st: Mr Bismarck 602 votes
2nd: Hornet 533 votes
3rd: Hextor 529 votes
4th: Meej 482 votes
5th: Ginner 455 votes
6th: Challenger 421 votes
7th: R_A_T_M 393 votes
8th : Narcizo 361 votes
9th: R1 322 votes
10th: Sudden Death 286 votes

Oimoi, being the surprising first choice, seemed happy in his after vote speech: ’Quite.’. Others seemed more neglected, with this comment from Brighton: ’I didn’t know what’s going on? Am I being stranded on island, yes? Please, I want to stay, please, the children…’ Conclusive, no doubt. The other’s just seemed ecstatic that they would be finally taken away from the cesspool that is life, kind of.

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The show was set, the contestants ready. It would take place on a smile island just short of Jamaica, untouched and tropical. Ciphers would circle the island, camera mounted, so every move and experience could be detected. The contestants would fly out on Friday 28th of May, so as to coincide with the launch of the CM4. Below you will find character profiles for each contestant:
The First Ten.

Oimoi:

Unstable, deranged, insane, incomprehensible, hunchbacked…these are just some of the superlatives used for this character. Sure to cause some friction and plenty of action, is the odds on favourite to win, due to the fact everyone will probably be too scared to vote him off. Odds: 1/3 on to win, 200/1 to be voted off


[SG]

Intelligent, petulant, with fine usage of the word cunt. Possibly slightly unstable, sure to make nine enemies and no friends. Will try to communicate at times, will probably end up criminally insane. Odds: 16/1 to win, 80/1 to be voted off


Fry

Emotionally and physically fucked, caused in the aftermath of the whole Drugs saga, probably won’t last long. Will maybe cry a lot, could be good at climbing trees. Odds: 100/1 to win, 10/1 to be voted off


D_D:

Psychotic overload. Will steal all his supplies from Tesco before arriving on the island. Forced to come out of his shell, will miss the comforts of autism. Cactus dick could prove handy. His girlfriend left him. HA! Odds: 10/1 to win, 90/1 to be voted off


Brighton

Incomprehensible, boring, simple, possibly gay. Will probably be of comedic relief, or will cook the entire time he’s there. Shirts will be missed, as will the incestuous family. Odds: 50000/1 to win, 1/10 on to be voted off


Henry:

Irish, arrogant, intelligent, deadpan humour(in the sense he has none). Communication his strong key, impeccable at mind games. Odds: 8/1 to win, 100/1 to be voted off


BeckhamFC9:

Has nothing much to add to the show, except the delights of not talking about Fight Club and discussing the ‘finer’ points of Liverpool FC. Will probably try to ban someone before the first day is over. Odds: 40/1 to win, 40/1 to be voted off


DC:

Seems to have been around forever. Knows a lot about a lot, although it probably isn’t true. Will sleep easy, has a strong enemy in Henry. His passion for the finer things in life will have to end. Odds: 3/1 to win, 125/1 to be voted off.


LDNT:

One of the older members. Part of The Three Stooges, will struggle to understand what’s going on. Will miss home comforts, especially that open fire. Odds: 50/1 to win, 30/1 to be voted off


Poplexter:

Gone soft in his older age, now calls himself PopWexter. Puff. Not allowed his sleep tablets, will end up insane within the week. He and Oimoi will get on magnificently. Odds: 25/1 to win, 50/1 to be voted off

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The Ten Parachutists.

Mr Bismarck:

Due to confusion by one Mr. Dark Souljah, the wrong person will probably be sent to the island. Never the less, scored the winner for GR vs. TTH. Will still be on a high as nothing much happens in middle age. Odds: 14/1


Hornet:

Known by many to have been the greatest thing on The Dugout, came out of retirement(again) for this event. Will startle all with immense ugliness, his personality will get him through. Odds: 5/1


Hextor:

Brand new German. Likes pictures, hates most things. Hitlers long lost son, and buyer of nice white German chocolate. Odds: 30/1


Meej:

Another oldie, his arthritic problems will cause him difficulty. His Gazebo, no doubt, will miss him, especially the way he licks beer from the windows. Cabbage patch kid. Arshcandles, Spaiad. Odds: 60/1


Ginner:

Once loved, then wandered off. Came back. Then gone. Now back occasionally. Good for him. Odds: 125/1


Challenger:

Hair now cut, looks like a hooligan. Once had the majestic flair of a chess playing Del Piero, now resigned to imitating Ray Winstone in Scum. In more ways than one… Odds: 75/1


R_A_T_M:

Surreal, backward hobo, will enjoy his time there. Marlon Harewood will miss him, and vice-versa, Miss. Stuck in a fucking Aussie bewilderment. Odds: 150/1


Narcizo:

Doubtful his ageing legs will take the pressure on impact from parachuting in, will no doubt get stuck in a tree on the way down. Swedish, which makes him lukewarm, like elephant’s piss. Sarcastic clever *bleh* thing. Odds: 400/1


R1:

Too stoned to care, really. Will sleep 23 hours a day, eat bananas and think he’s in Havana. Dancing with turtles and monkeys, his speciality is hijacking and his ability to feel no pain enhances his chances. Odds: 200/1


Sudden Death:

Name tries to strike fear into the hearts of many, instead makes him sound 13. Similar to Ginner in that not much is known, will try his hardest to make a name for himself. Favourite outsider. Odds: 50/1

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The 28th soon arrived, and the contestants were ready. They all met at Manchester airport, and were blindfolded. D_D, being used to this, was instantly aroused and pounced on DCs leg, humping away. Like a rabid dog he was foaming at the mouth, and had to be prized away with the offer of a Bounty. Mark led the contestants, chain-linked, to a private jet, and they were seated in luxury and darkness. This was to be their last contact with ‘civilized’(ha!) life. Everybody was seated in separate rows, so contact between each other couldn’t’ be made. Oimoi wasn’t happy, his overgrown fingernails ripping at Mark’s face. Force was needed, and Oimoi was restrained, Hannibal Lecter style. During the flight, each contestant was given a shot of whisky, laced with tranquilizer’s to knock them out….
Henry was the first to wake, his eyes sore as the sun hit his sight. He sat up, groggy and dazed, and tried to take in his surroundings. He was on a beach, so elegant and beautiful, the sea before him lashing at the shore. The sun reflected off the sea, creating a sight of spectacular beauty, rainbow’s seeming to dart off the water’s surface. Turning round, he could see 3 wood huts, behind that what seemed miles upon miles of forest. All this scene needed was Ursula Andress to appear from the sea in that little white bikini…All around him lay the bodies of the other nine contestants, and, after getting to his feet, he strode over to Fry, shaking him awake. The other’s soon followed. A slight buzzing noise could be heard…Henry looked up, and there was a cipher, camera focused on him. The cipher was white, quite small and had a machine gun mounted on the bottom. Henry knew this was serious.

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Once all the contestants had regained consciousness and figured out their surroundings, a cipher flew overhead and dropped a screen down over the front of it. The screen fuzzed, then the familiar face of Mark appeared on the screen. ’Men, you are on the island, the competition has begun. The three huts located behind you each have three beds. There are ten of you, but nine beds. Two of you can share, or one of you will be forced to make their own shelter. You have no supplies, no possessions except your clothes, and most of you have no sanity. Go forth, prosper, and impress. Until next Thursday, good luck!’ drawled Mark. Everyone stood speechless, why the hell had they agreed to this? They all turned, looking at each other, eye’s meeting, brains engaging…..Nine Beds!!! Shit!!! They all realised, and charged to the huts, scrambling for comfort and warmth. All except Oimoi, who was on the beach, digging with his bare hands for no apparent reason. The accommodation was arranged as thus:
Hut 1:

[SG], Poplexter, LDNT.


Hut 2:

DC, D_D, Brighton.


Hut 3:

Henry, BeckhamFC9, Fry.


Oimoi, after finishing digging his, ahem, hole, ran towards a cave, sniffing like a madman, then collected logs, twigs, branches and leaves and created his own hut. Already wearing just his boxers, you could see he had a natural ability for being a fuckwit.

Samadini
21-09-2015, 01:54 PM
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The other nine contestants gathered on the beach after claiming their shelter. ’We need fire for the nighttime’ exclaimed BeckhamFC9. ’We also need food! piped up fat twat D_D. ’Well, obviously’ added DC, in his usual sarcastic manner. ’[SG], Poplexter, Henry and Fry, you go looking for fire material, you know, branches, leaves and that. D_D, LDNT, Brighton and BeckhamFC9, you lot have a look about for food. Me? I’ll stay here and dive for fish’ said DC, already taking the leader role. The others grumbled under their breath something about not taking orders, then did as they were told. DC stripped down, and dived into the ocean. The fish were slippery, but no doubt his intelligence would lead him…

It was six hours later. DC was sat on the beach, knackered having grappled a shark to it’s death. Not a bad haul I suppose. The other’s returned, covered in cuts and bruises. [SG] and Henry carried a load of leaves and branches, Poplexter consoling Fry who was crying, again. D_D, LDNT, Brighton and BeckhamFC9 returned with nothing. When questioned about this, it had turned out D_D had eaten everything on the way. Fat bastard. One plus point was D_D was now hallucinating like a mad man, having eaten a bunch of red berries. He was sure he was in a library, shouting ’SSHH!!!!’ whenever anyone spoke. His head was twitching, and sweat was literally pouring off him.

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[SG] and Henry dropped the logs and leaves, and Henry, now covered in facepaint like a scene out of Predator, set about knawing a hole out of one branch, then rubbing another branch against it to try to start a fire. Light was fading fast, and LDNT set to sharpening a branch with a rock, to create a tool to cut the shark. D_D was now sure he was a tribal man, a top a tree, he was throwing coconuts at everyone, speaking in grunts. BeckhamFC9 picked up the coconuts, and set to trying to break them open. After around an hour or so, a meal of shark meat and coconut was served up on leaves to one and all. D_D, now visibly shaking, and on a ‘come down’ ran to the hole Oimoi dug, and relieved himself, before running off to bed. The fire was now burning nicely, Henry reminiscing to all the stories of Irish council estates, horses and helicopters in the garden. After the meal, they all ventured to bed, tired and bored…

Oimoi ventured from his cave at around two in the morning, now naked and shrieking like a monkey. His eyes were bulged, he had painted himself red with juices from wild berries. He ran, like an ape, knuckles dragging on the ground. He grunted as he shot through the forest, air whizzing past his ears….In his line of sight, he came across a boar. Oimoi perched, his senses sharp, eyes acute. The boar rested, Oimoi pounced! Landing on top of the beast, his arms wrapped round it’s neck. ’Snap!’, the boar’s neck broke. Clutching its two front hooves, Oimoi dragged it back to shelter, were he feasted, oh yes! He feasted…

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The rest of the story will be done in event form, otherwise the thing will go on forever…

Saturday, 2nd day, 11am

[SG] rose first, stuck to his mattress. He scrambled out of bed slowly, yawning, stretching, then strode out of his hut. On the beach was a surprise, a large crate covered by a parachute. Shouting to the others to wake up, he ran over and set to ripping off the parachute. The others ventured out, one by one, until they were all gathered, questioning what was in the box. The box was deadly silent…Poplexter, LDNT, Fry and Brighton all started pulling at the panelling, trying to rip it open. After a short while, LDNT got through, taking yanking out all the cushioning…It was a football kit! Two goals, two balls and two pairs of goalkeeping gloves! Yay!


Saturday, 2nd day, 5pm

Henry and DC were in the jungle, hunting. LDNT, Fry, D_D, Poplexter, Brighton and [SG] were all showing off their football ‘skills’. BeckhamFC9 was sleeping on a lower part of the beach….Oimoi appeared, sniffing around BeckhamFC9 like a madman, trying to suss out who or what he was. The others spotted Oimoi, thinking he was some kind of wile animal. They shouted at him to fuck off, BeckhamFC9 awakening, screaming like a mad girl. Oimoi grinned, showing blood stained teeth, and scrambled away like an ape…

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Sunday, 3rd day, 1pm

After awaking to a horrible climate, the contestants were resigned to their huts. They all congregated in hut 1, where D_D had brought along some of his stash of wild, red berries. Bored shitless, the contestants all ate them, creating wild, fantastical visions. The walls were distorting, every face was happy, [SG] and Poplexter bouncing on beds as Brighton remembered about his werthers days, remembering the children, no doubt. DC thought he was the fonz, flicking his imaginary leather jacket with remarkable style. D_D, fueled by the berries, was diving off the roof of the hut in the pouring rain; sure he was a member of the RAF. Fry, smiling for once, danced with the little mermaid, with BeckhamFC9 believing he Brad Pitt was his alter-ego, squaring off with him, Fight Club style. LDNT just lay there, dancing to the sounds of the panpipes. Joyous moments indeed.


Monday, 4th day, 2pm

A cipher sped overhead, the screen dropping again. There was Mark, grinning like a mad man…’In a new twist to the plot, we are dropping in six more contestants as part of The Battle Royale on Friday. These contestants are: JoE, Eltharion_doa, Bwortang, Boony, Mac. and John. Don’t forget people, alliances count for nothing once Friday arrives, it is and will be, WAR!!! [SG] and LDNT looked happy at the return of JoE, obviously. With the return of JoE, Hornet, Meej and PopWexter, it was like an OAP fight, for survival, natch.


Monday, 4th day, 7pm

The sun is shining again, the sea reflecting beauty back into everyone’s life. Everything seems radiant, everything happy. D_D, Fry and DC are climbing trees, collecting coconuts. Brighton, being a bit backward, is writing on the beach in sticks…’Where are the children? Children love me, no? Mark, my sister, she need looking after. She’s also my daughter and mother. Is fun, enjoy!’

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Tuesday, 5th day, 2am
Oimoi, on one of his nighttime hunts, gallops over to the football ‘field’, and steals the spare football. Cutting his hand open, he handprints the ball and makes a face out of the blood, naming the ball among other things, ‘Jesse’. Taken to eating bark and bone, he looks as rabid as ever, his body toned due to the exercise he’s forced to do.


Tuesday, 5th day, 1pm

A parcel is dropped from a plane above, narrowly missing Poplexter’ head. Again, Brighton and all his might set to opening the parcel, the others laughing at his feeble attempts. BeckhamFC9 intervened, and in one almighty go, ripped it open with his teeth. The new Ozzy Osbourne, that lad…except he plays the flute. Inside the package….a box of Birdseye fish fingers! Everyone, flummoxed by this, decide they’ll have them for tea tonight…


Tuesday, 5th day, 8pm

As tea is being prepared by Henry and Fry, a boat appears in view….Everybody speculating about who it is, sure it’s Mark to pick them up after the sales of CM have picked up…The boat stops near shore, the drawbridge opening…It’s the Fish Finger Pincher, just like the adverts! He runs onto the beach, grabbing the fish fingers and tries to run away, his pants falling down! Henry, incensed, clotheslines him in the back, sending him head first into the sand! Everyone runs over, punches, stomps and kicks flying about…After a while, everyone backs off, the body lying there…They’ve killed the Fish Finger Pincher! Live on ITV’s ‘I’m not a celebrity, get the fuck out my face’! The children, screaming, weep, the parents, incensed, laugh. The world is twisted, no doubt…

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Wednesday, 6th day, 10am

Brighton wakes first, mumbling to himself. His gangly body is hurting, shaking. He feel’s cold, his head is banging. His head spinning, he stumbles outside where he vomits violently, before rushing into the jungle, emptying his diarrhoea-infested arse. LDNT is the next awake, spotting Brighton on the way back from the jungle, stumbling and obviously in pain. LDNT takes one look at him, and sees the yellow tint on his skin, like a piece of buttered toast. He asks Brighton if he’s ok, to which Brighton replies: ‘I’m in a circus, do you see the clowns? Thy are dancing, dancing like men!’ before collapsing into a seizure…LDNT drags him back to bed, where Brighton complains of pain and goes to sleep. He’s diseased with malaria, forcing D_D into hut 1 and DC into Hut 3.

Wednesday, 6th day, 7pm

Everyone is relaxing round the fire. Fry (who is now mentally stable after this break) and BeckhamFC9 went hunting earlier, catching two boars, and Poplexter, [SG] and DC went collecting leaves, branches and tree stumps for the still burning fire. Henry, during the day, had been playing a game of football, on his own, practising his skills. Running from goal to goal, dribbling, shimmying and shooting…Midway through, out of the corner of his left eye, a sight graced him, the sight of little scuttle type things, which he later determined to be crabs. Their little legs kicking up the sand as they ran along the shoreline, Henry, deciding this was a good opportunity for food, ran to the collective, and picked up one, snapping it’s claws from it’s body and placed it upside down next to his feet. He did this with a few more, and picked them up, cradling them in his arms. Walking away, one of the crabs chased him, pinching his right big toe, ripping its nail from its place. Henry screamed out, dropping the dying crabs and ripped it off his foot, bringing the toe with it…. In serious pain, Henry was forced to bandage it with part of a parachute…. Could this be a disadvantage come Friday…?

igor_balis
21-09-2015, 01:54 PM
I don't know any of those cunts.

Samadini
21-09-2015, 01:55 PM
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Thursday, 7th day, 2pm

Today was the day of voting, where the contestants would each pick their two choices for eviction from the isle tomorrow. Each one was called in turn, alphabetically, to Hut 1. Below are the picks:

BeckhamFC9: Brighton, Fry
Brighton(who somehow made it): D_D, Henry
Darkness_Devil: Brighton, Fry
DC: Brighton, D_D
Fry: Brighton, D_D
Henry: Brighton, D_D
LDNT: Brighton, Fry
Oimoi: Using one grunt for yes, two for no….Brighton, Fry
Poplexter: Oimoi, Henry
[SG]: Brighton, D_D

The results of the voting were:
Brighton: 8 votes
D_D: 5 votes
Fry: 4 votes
Henry: 2 votes
Oimoi: 1 vote


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Friday, 8th day, 10am

The helicopter’s blades whirled overhead. Over a loud speaker directed from the chopper, MARK announced that Brighton and D_D were to leave the island….To their utter delight, naturally. The chopper landed, all the other contestants being confined to Hut 1. Before D_D and Brighton clambered onto the chopper, eight packages were placed along the shore. D_D and Brighton climbed about, and the chopper lifted. Over the speaker system, Mark stated that everyone was to leave the hut, take one package each, and run, as the war would commence at 1pm, three hours from now…The chopper flew into the sunlight as the other eight contestants emerged from the hut, racing to the packages. Each took a package and descended into the thickness that was the jungle, Oimoi not forgetting Jesse, obviously. In those packages was a weapon (pot luck), water and food rations


Friday, 8th day, 12 30pm

Four more choppers circled overhead, each containing four parachutists. The parachute contestant’s had all previously taken their pot luck with packages back at camp, before being brought to the jungle and told to fight. Each contestant parachuted down, with Narcizo, as expected, getting caught in a tree.

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Friday, 8th day, 1pm

’Contestants, are you ready? Gladiators, Ready! 3, 2, 1…FIGHT!!!!’ Shouted Mark over a tannoy….The war had begun….Listed below, each contestant and their weapon:

Oimoi: Sharp Stick
[SG]: Chumbawamba CD
DC: Karate Mind Initiation Program, ala The Matrix
Poplexter: Roller-skates
BeckhamFC9: Slab of Meat
Henry: Radio Controlled Bomb-Laced Car
Fry: Blow Pipe, 10 Darts
LDNT: Slingshot (provide own rocks)
Mr Bismarck: Wheelchair, electric
Hornet: Suicide Pill
Hextor: Skin-grafted extra head
Meej: Foldable Gazebo, for relaxation purposes
Ginner: Simple handgun, 12 bullets
Challenger: Chess Set, sharp corners
R_A_T_M: Pack of Jammie Dodgers
Narcizo: Youth Cream, two hours of being 18 again
R1: Small jar of Adrenochrome, aka Adrenalin from a living human body
Sudden Death: Pump Action Shotgun, 4 shells
JoE: Predator Football boots
Eltharion_doa: Medusa Mask, can only be used once
Bwortang: Sniper Rifle, 6 bullets
Mac.: Binoculars
Boony: Alcohol laced monkey blood
:John: Enema machine

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Friday, 8th day, 2 34pm

JoE, ecstatic with his new white Predator boots, moulds a football from leaves, making a makeshift goal from twigs and branches. Showing off his obvious talent, he sees Narcizo charging for him face and body rejuvenated. Twirling on the ‘ball’, JoE flicks it in the air and volleys…..BANG!!! right in Narcizos face…Narcizo falls backwards….CRACK!!! His head bounces off a rock, ripping his skull open, blood and brains oozing out….First Kill to JoE: Narcizo down, 23 to go!


Friday, 8th day, 3 47pm

Hextor is running, like a madman. The head grafted on his shoulder is, unfortunately, Ron Atkinson’s, who won’t shut up about square posts and ginger ninjas. Oimoi, sticking out like Gary Glitter in a boy’s club, charges with his sharp stick, stabbing one of the heads, the blood dripping down Hextors back….Oimoi has stabbed Big Ron! Big Ron, now screaming inbetween interval’s of imaginary jewellery clinking, turns to see Oimoi slink down the right wing, his stick between his teeth, his arse wobbling….Oimoi leaps right onto Hextors back, the momentum making Hextor fall head(s) first into a tree….Oimoi gets up, standing over Hextor before plunging the stick right into his heart. Oimoi wipes a finger in Hextors blood and rubs it on his chest, a sign of a victory…..Second Kill to Oimoi: Hextor down, 22 to go!


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Friday, 8th day, 4 10pm

BeckhamFC9, looking thin and hairy, stares at his meat, tempted to eat it, but knowing he daren’t….[SG] is swinging, swinging like a monkey from tree to tree. Stopping on a branch, he spots BeckhamFC9, sat down knackered. Lowering himself, [SG], in stealth mood, creeps up behind BeckhamFC9, takes out the Chumbawamba CD….And stabs it right between his shoulder blades!!! BeckhamFC9 screams out in pain, running around like a little girl. BeckhamFC9 throws the meat, missing [SG]…it’s one on one. [SG] charges at BeckhamFC9, shoulder in his chin, landing on top of him….Two punches to BeckhamFC9s face….But BeckhamFC9 knees [SG] in the nuts!!! BeckhamFC9 picks up a rock, raises it above his head……..CRACK!!!! It’s DC, Karate program downloaded, roundhouse kick to BeckhamFC9s head! BeckhamFC9 falls, rock landing on his stomach, winding him….DC charges, kicking BeckhamFC9 repeatedly in the head, the blood flowing…..Sure BeckhamFC9 is dead, DC grips [SG] by the neck, throwing him against a rock, picks him back up and breaks his spinal cord with one quick punch…..Third and Fourth Kills to DC: BeckhamFC9 and [SG] down, 20 to go!


Friday, 8th day, 6 23pm

Sudden Death stops, his bladder weak, he takes a piss up against a tree stump…..BANG!! It’s Ginner! He’s shot Sudden Death in the calf, laughing manically! Sudden Death collapses to the ground, the pain ripping through his body, lying in a pool of his own urine…Ginner strides over, a grin taking over his face, no words are spoken….Ginner places the gun at the back of Sudden Deaths skull, his finger ready to fire….But Sudden Death has a handful of dirt! He twists, throwing it in Ginners eyes! Ginner is blinded! He’s dropped his gun…Sudden Death grabs Ginners gun, shooting him in both knees! Ginner cries out….Sudden Death lines the gun up…BANG!! Right through Ginners skull. Sudden Death throws Ginners gun on top of his lifeless body, zips himself up, and strides away, confidently…..Fifth Kill to Sudden Death: Ginner down, 19 to go!


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Friday, 8th day, 6 56pm

Boony is walking, sober, through the jungle. Whistling to himself, he seems nervous, yet confident. His bright blonde hair illuminating all around him, the quickly descending dark lit up for a few yards, at least. The bushes beside him rumbled…It was Fry, with dart loaded blowpipe in his mouth….Boony quickly swallowed his alcohol laced monkey blood! He was impervious to pain! Fry fired a dart, hitting Boony in the arm! Boony simply laughed! Another dart, this time in his stomach, Boony again just grinned. Boony stumbled in his drunkenness, Fry firing another dart right into Boony’s arse! Boony fell, the dart snapping off…...They both stopped, hearing a small rumbling…it was Poplexter! Dressed in Lycra with his 70’s throwback rollerskates on, he pirouetted, kicking Fry mid-flight right in the neck! Fry was down, Boony was down…BANG BANG BANG!!! The three dropped dead, blood seeping through their heads….Bwortang, seated in a tree above, had sniped all three…..Sixth, Seventh and Eighth Kills to Bwortang: Boony, Fry and Poplexter down, 16 to go!



Friday, 8th day, 8 09pm

Challenger seemed preoccupied. Chessboard balanced on a tree stump, he was practising, in case he met the mystery ‘once a year’ woman. The Chessboard was superb, made of the finest glass, the pieces carved from hard wood. Enjoying himself, he smiled, almost chuckled…Until, that is, he heard the ruffling, the crunching of footsteps behind him….Challenger turned, his eyes immediately shot in fear…It was Oimoi! Squeezing Hextors heart in his hand, he had the usual demented look in his eyes. He grunted, pointing to Challenger’s neck, then jumped, dropkicking Challenger right onto his Chessboard! The board shattered, the glass breaking into a thousand pieces, ripping into his back…Oimoi stood over Challenger, his stick raised…Challenger countered! Picking a shard of glass up, he cut it right across Oimois abdomen, Oimoi reeling back, blood pumping…Oimoi tried to stand, but his guts spilled to the floor…Realising his imminent fate, Oimoi lined up Challenger and threw the stick…right through Challengers neck!…..Ninth Kill to Challenger, Tenth Kill to Oimoi: Challenger and Oimoi down, 14 to go!

Samadini
21-09-2015, 01:55 PM
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Saturday, 9th day, 12 38am

Inside the foldable Gazebo, everything was quiet. Meej, sleeping against one of the tiers, was content, sure everyone was asleep. He was awoken by a whirring noise, drawing ever closer. Meej, still half asleep, was confused, not knowing what was going on…He jumped up, looking in every direction….CRACK!!! It was Mr Bismarck in his wheelchair, running into the back of Meejs legs! Speeding along at six mph, Mr Bismarck forced Meej shins first into the corner of his Gazebo! Meej, under the mild pain, fell right on Mr Bismarck’s legs! Mr Bismarck was now driving blindly, Meej elbowing him in the face as he drove! Mr Bismarck pushed Meej off his knees, running over Meejs ear in the process! This was BRUTAL! Meej screamed out, his ear now ripped off! He was angry, standing up, walking straight over to Mr Bismarck, who was cowardly trying to escape at a miserly 8mph! Meej yanked Mr Bismarck from the chair, continually punching him in the face, his Spanish charm shining through! Throwing Mr Bismarck to the ground, Meej picked up his wheelchair, bringing it down hard on his skull!! Mr Bismarck was finished with! Meej, releasing his anger by punching the Gazebo to the ground, started to calm down, relaxing in the comforts of Mr Bismarck’s chair. Going for a ride, he was enjoying himself…but the wheelchair spiralled out of control! It reached a speed of 10mph, then 20, it was flying at 40mph! BANG! Straight into a tree! Meej went flying, head first, knocked dead on impact….LDNT cackled, his slingshot having broken the wheelchair’s motor system…..Eleventh Kill to Meej, Twelve Kill to LDNT: Mr Bismarck and Meej down, 12 to go!


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Saturday, 9th day, 9 27am

:John: was strolling, nervous as anything. He didn’t want to be here, and was only here due to public vote. He’d rather be in the safety of his Japanese Ladyboy, having (un)natural fun. Mac. could sight him, a few metres away. He had a plan…Throw a stone then charge :John: when distracted, beating him to a pulp….He threw the stone, :John: was distracted and he pounced, but Mac. didn’t realise the power of :John:, as :John: just threw Mac. to the ground! :John: stamped on Mac. repeatedly, winding him. Mac. struggled to breath, begging for mercy, but :John: didn’t stop, almost crippling Mac.. :John: ripped down Mac.s pants and turned him over….His enema machine was ready! He stuck the machine right into Mac., and set it to max! Mac. started to flow, until RIP!!! His intestines came flowing through the tube, his insides destroyed!…..Thirteenth Kill to :John:, Mac. down, 11 to go!


Saturday, 9th day, 11 34am

Eltharion_doa was crouched, the diarrhoea taking over his sysstem. Vile, evil sounds rattled the jungle, echoing. His Medusa mask was by his side, just in case. JoE was striding through, on his 2437th keepy-uppy, pure skill, no doubt. Flicking the ball over his head, he was killed instantly, Eltharion_doas Medusa face staring right into his eyes. Realising the mask was of no use again, Eltharion_doa quickly got out of there, desperate for a hiding spot. He spotted a cave in the rocks on the sea front and dashed right in…Big mistake, as R_A_T_M was there, hiding, his Jammie Dodgers in his hand. Seeing Eltharion_doa appear, he gripped the packet in his left hand and grabbed Eltharion_doa around the throat with his right. Eltharion_doa gasped for air, his mouth wide… R_A_T_M took the packet and stuffed it down his throat, choking Eltharion_doa. R_A_T_M looked on nastily as Eltharion_doa fell to the ground, his body in seizures as he passed away….Fourteenth Kill to Eltharion_doa, Fifteenth Kill to R_A_T_M: JoE and Eltharion_doa down, 9 to go!

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Saturday, 9th day, 12 55pm

Bwortang was perched, hiding in the branches, his sight scanning the land for prey. He had three bullets left, and knew he had to use them wisely….He spotted something move, but couldn’t focus on it. Again, the leaves fluttered, his sight reaching its target too late. The nerves kicked in, Bwortang not knowing what was going on or what it was. He hand a bang, it was climbing up the tree….He heard breathing….turning around he saw R1, eyes crazed due to the high intake of human adrenalin, his speed and muscle ratio dramatically increased….In one quick swoop, R1 ripped off Bwortangs head, throwing it to the ground! R1 let out a loud shriek, knowing in this mode he was the king of the jungle…He was a force to be reckoned with…Sixteenth Kill to R1: Bwortang down, 8 to go!

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Saturday, 9th day, 4 48pm

Sudden Death was patrolling, on a high, knowing he had what it took to survive. His shotgun strapped to his back, he looked like some kind of geeky Rambo. His walk, now cool, oozed confidence. He thought he saw something in the distance, stopping to eye it up….It was :John:, leaning against a tree, taking a breather. Flying over here from Japan purely to put his life on the line seemed funny to him, and undeniably ridiculous…Sudden Death decided to take the long route, walking as quietly as possible, taking his time. He was behind :John:, his head lined up in his sights….BANG! :John: dropped to the ground, Sudden Death with another kill. Behind him he heard another rustle, he turned and fired, something dropped. Sudden Death ran over to investigate….It was LDNT, shot in the leg. He looked into Sudden Death’s eyes, almost pleading for his life…..Sudden Death was pounced upon by Hornet! Hornet grappled him to the ground, holding him down with a choke! Sudden Death was turning blue, struggling to breath…WHACK! Sudden Death smacked the end of the shotgun into Hornet’s abdomen, winding Hornet…Sudden Death got to his feet, lining Hornet up for the kill….CRACK! LDNT smacked Sudden Death over his head with the stump of a tree, his head mashed before him…Sudden Death was dead! LDNT offered Hornet his hand up, which Hornet took…Before throwing LDNT to the ground! Hornet grabbed Sudden Death’s shotgun…BANG! Right between LDNT’s eyes!….Seventeenth Kill to Sudden Death, Eighteenth Kill to LDNT, Nineteenth Kill to Hornet: :John:, Sudden Death and LDNT down, 5 to go!

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Saturday, 9th day, 8pm

R1 was still crazed, on a high, to which he had never experienced before. Euphoric and high, he was The Predator. Running through the jungle, he felt no pain, cutting himself, bleeding like a madman, he had no cares. He locked R_A_T_M in his sights, racing after him, he was on the beach, R_A_T_M saw him, R1 pounced….R_A_T_M ducked, and R1 went head first into the rock face! R1 was dazed, but felt nothing, his nose busted open! He got to his feet, his vision impaired….Wait! A fast whirring sound could be heard, both stopped, looking, but couldn’t see what was making it….Then R_A_T_M looked down, it was a small remote controlled car! He picked it up, laughing. A voice shouted OI, they both looked, it was Henry, finger hovering over a button…’Say hello to my leetle friend’ Henry mocked….BOOM!!!! R1 and R_A_T_M were blown to smithereens, Henry laughed, manically…Twentieth and Twenty-First Kills to Henry: R1 and R_A_T_M down, 3 to go!

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Saturday, 9th day, 9 45pm

Henry strode confidently, the two kills boosting his ego. He knew he had the intelligence and power to win, to succeed. In his mind he would never be stopped, he had the arrogance and the eagerness…He was the man! Walking along the seafront, he took in the beautiful reflection of the moon, the swaying sea, the sound of the wind brushing past his ear…..CRACK! DC elbowed Henry across the back of the head, Henry fell face first in the sand out cold. DC was now impersonating Bruce Lee, his word’s actually out of sync. He kicked Henry in the ribs, then two more kicks to his head, the blood starting to flow, staining the beautiful gold sand….DC knelt heavily on Henry’s left thigh and snapped his knee out of joint, repeating this with his right leg….Picking up a large rock, DC brought it down on Henry’s skull, killing him instantly…..BANG! It was Hornet, whacking DC over the head with the stump of a tree, sending him to the ground. DC rose, Hornet looking fearful. Hornet dropped the stump and dived into the sea, swimming as fast as he could….DC followed, catching him slowly, gripping Hornet’s leg mid swim. He twirled Hornet round, punching Hornet full in the face, Hornet reeling. Hornet retaliated, a punch to DC, DC reeling. ‘You know, I do like you…but now I have to kill you’ said DC…’Not if I kill us first’ replied Hornet, clinging hold of DC. Hornet showed DC his tongue, balanced on the edge his suicide pill….Hornet swallowed, DC struggling to get out of Hornet’s grasp. Hornet, with his last ounce of strength, pushed DC’s head under the water, drowning him, as they slowly died together….Twenty-Second Kill to DC, Twenty-Third and Twenty-Fourth Kills to Hornet: Henry, DC and Hornet down, Nobody left…


TheDugout was now fucked. The entire main spine of TTH was destroyed. Dark Souljah was free to reign and rule…Forever. Except Marvin killed me, shit.

Fin…