[FOOTBALL] Weekend Fixtures - Fri 15 - Mon 18 January

[Ian]

Fellainimania causing havoc in the area once again. :cool:

[Toby]

The timing of the last few posts was beautiful.

[Kikó]

Arf. What a fucking shock that is.

[Boydy]

Oh fuck off.

That was always going to happen too with Liverpool refusing to take any of their chances.

[simon]

Jimmy. :drool:

[Kikó]

It of course doesn't invalidate anything said. Liverpool are absolutely woeful.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh fuck off.

That was always going to happen too with Liverpool refusing to take any of their chances.

Not good enough to, more like. These players will never get you any higher than about 8th.

[John Arne]

Why the fuck isn't Ibe claiming down the cross quicker. Fucking half-arsed cunt.

[Dquincy]

How an earth we're losing to this shite. Man U are truly terrible, yet they lead. :D

[Mellberg]

That is a bit lol.

[Smiffy]

Oh yay. Benteke to save the da.....nah.

Roll on next season.

[John Arne]

I'd like to see that Rooney push on the edge of their area again.

[Lewis]

It's worth remembering that United have still got Adnan Januzaj to come back as well.

[Kikó]

Credit to the finish though. Very sharp from the ROON.

[Lewis]

Twitter sez he now has the record for most Premiership goals with one club. The toppest of the top players. FACT.

[Dquincy]

Milner and Benteke both trying to hit that cut back. sums it up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Where Liverpool's front players will be by the time of the next World Cup:

Henderson: Liverpool (having not scored since, and the fans all shout SHOOOOT when he gets the ball)
Sturridge: retired, BT Sport pundit
Firmino: Beijing Guo'an
Benteke: West Ham (on loan from Newcastle)
Ibe: Hibernian (on loan from Preston)
Ings: QPR
Origi: Antalyaspor

You've just got to hope the next ones are better.

[John Arne]

Well, that was shit.

[Giggles]

:rave:

Rooney and LVG :cool:

[Boydy]

Where Liverpool's front players will be by the time of the next World Cup:

Henderson: Liverpool (having not scored since, and the fans all shout SHOOOOT when he gets the ball)
Sturridge: retired, BT Sport pundit
Firmino: Beijing Guo'an
Benteke: West Ham (on loan from Newcastle)
Ibe: Hibernian (on loan from Preston)
Ings: QPR
Origi: Antalyaspor

You've just got to hope the next ones are better.

:D

Probably about right.

[Gray Fox]

I think we just need to spend all week practicing shooting and then defending corners.

That was an awful, awful game.

[Smiffy]

Time to focus on the cups and blood some youngsters in the league games. Not that any are cut out for it, mind.

[Serj]

God that was awful. It's particularly impressive how the players that do well in one match turn to dross for the next one (Firmino was atrocious today, as was Can for the most part). Sakho, Touré and Lucas did well, the rest of them were busy giving the ball away for fun or shooting when they should have passed.

[John Arne]

Ronaldo just got away with a blatant kick at an opponent - the ref was stood 5 yards away.

[Lewis]

Do Arsenal still have a complex about Stoke, or have they come to respect them and their Good Football?

[phonics]

No Ozil today

[Yevrah]

Ronaldo just got away with a blatant kick at an opponent - the ref was stood 5 yards away.

I'm not sure why they bother having referees at Barcelona and Real Madrid matches.

[Max Power]

Stoke fans booing Ramsey for getting his leg broken is still hilarious

[Dquincy]

Stoke fans boo'ing Ramsey, again. What a bunch of despicable c*nts.

[Giggles]

What's the back story with that?

[The Merse]

Do Arsenal still have a complex about Stoke, or have they come to respect them and their Good Football?

Fine with the football. Can't stand the cunts in the stands. That pre-dates Stoke even being Premier League for me, mind. Potteries cunts.

[Gray Fox]

Good to see Ramsey being booed. How dare he have his leg broken, the despicable twat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I hate it when refs ban themselves from giving cards out in order to 'diffuse' what they consider to be a potentially bad tempered game. Just leads to more fouling and a stop-start load of crap.

[The Merse]

What's the back story with that?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9FJKunkmKQ

Wenger later complained they were like a rugby team (hence singing Chariots whenever we visit) and Ramsey wouldn't let Shawcross visit him in the hospital. Tony Pulis refused to criticise Shawcross and basically called us a bunch of dainty fairies and that Shawcross shouldn't have been sent off.

[Smiffy]

It was never intentional. Ramsey should have drank more milk.

[Toby]

I think Stoke fans claim the animosity towards him is due to the way he celebrated a goal he scored in the next game he played against him, but fuck them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This has been the worst 25 minutes of the weekend so far, which is saying something.

[The Merse]

I think Stoke fans claim the animosity towards him is due to the way he celebrated a goal he scored in the next game he played against him, but fuck them.

They say that, but they'd absolutely pilloried him up until he scored, so yeah - they're cunts.

Always fancied Campbell to make an impact if (ha! If...) a few injuries occurred this season, but this new Ozil-esque through ball he's pulling out on a regular basis is quite surprising.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This game is like West Germany v Austria. Both managers ecstatic with a point it seems. Butland just took over a minute to knock a goal kick three yards to his full back.

[Dquincy]

Surely Arsenal need/want 3 points.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've watched 5 games this weekend and the closest thing to entertainment was Valencia v Rayo in the lower reaches of La Liga. Please somebody save it in the second half of this.

[Dquincy]

I'm cancelling my sky sports account, FYI.

[QE Harold Flair]

Surely Arsenal need/want 3 points.

Given that Ozil's (and Sanchez, Cazorla) missing and we're playing Stoke away on what can only be descibed as a cold day, a point would be par.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's 4th place trophy talk, not title winning talk.

[Toby]

Given that Ozil's (and Sanchez, Cazorla) missing and we're playing Stoke away on what can only be descibed as a cold day, a point would be par.

:lol:

[GS]

Liverpool are abject sometimes. £32.5M on Benteke. Nice one, Brendan, mate.

It is what it is, however. Klopp has CREDIBILITY, so we'll just have to put up with it until such time as he is given an opportunity to MAKE HIS MARK ON THE SQUAD.

[Kikó]

Why are you using CAPITALS like that?

[Smiffy]

Liverpool are abject sometimes. £32.5M on Benteke. Nice one, Brendan, mate.

It is what it is, however. Klopp has CREDIBILITY, so we'll just have to put up with it until such time as he is given an opportunity to MAKE HIS MARK ON THE SQUAD.

Brendan or the committee? He's said Balotelli was theirs today, he'd done all his summer business in the hope of building around Sanchez allegedly.

[GS]

It's laced with despair and sarcasm.

[GS]

Brendan or the committee? He's said Balotelli was theirs today, he'd done all his summer business in the hope of building around Sanchez allegedly.

Of course he did.

[Giggles]

Why are you using CAPITALS like that?

NARRATIVE one would assume.

[Lee]

I've really enjoyed Stoke this season. If we somehow end the weekend top after yesterday's shit display I'll piss myself.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Arnautovic is such a ludicrous footballer. Takes the ball, stands still, looks for the most difficult option on the pitch. The one time it comes off is fun though.

This ref is getting properly First Ruled.

[niko_cee]

Isn't it a skill of management to adapt to what you have, at least to some extent? All these philosophies are great and all, but even if he is an overly expensive piece of shit, old Tekkers would still be more use than not bothering with any forwards at all. Especially against mega-turgid United (who come for the 0-0). At home. As someone said, that selection paid them way too much respect. Probably just saving him for the important stuff in the week, mind. All-in on the cups now (as they're the only viable routes into 'Europe' of any sort next season).

I read we were going to offer a stupid amount of money for Vardy in the summer. Just close the doors if that happens.

[Smiffy]

Isn't it a skill of management to adapt to what you have, at least to some extent? All these philosophies are great and all, but even if he is an overly expensive piece of shit, old Tekkers would still be more use than not bothering with any forwards at all. Especially against mega-turgid United (who come for the 0-0). At home. As someone said, that selection paid them way too much respect. Probably just saving him for the important stuff in the week, mind. All-in on the cups now (as they're the only viable routes into 'Europe' of any sort next season).

I read we were going to offer a stupid amount of money for Vardy in the summer. Just close the doors if that happens.

If we sign Vardy then I give up on us. I read £25m for the 29 year old...

As for not bothering with forwards, Firmino is a forward. Not your out and out striker but it's not an unfamiliar position for him. I'm quite excited to see what he, Coutinho and Sturridge can do together if all manage a good pre-season and Sturridge doesn't stretch.

[Lee]

Isn't it a skill of management to adapt to what you have, at least to some extent? All these philosophies are great and all, but even if he is an overly expensive piece of shit, old Tekkers would still be more use than not bothering with any forwards at all. Especially against mega-turgid United (who come for the 0-0). At home. As someone said, that selection paid them way too much respect. Probably just saving him for the important stuff in the week, mind. All-in on the cups now (as they're the only viable routes into 'Europe' of any sort next season).

I read we were going to offer a stupid amount of money for Vardy in the summer. Just close the doors if that happens.

Vardy would be perfect for a Klopp side. It's not even about him scoring; he just creates space for others and his style means there are bits and pieces for others to pick up.

[niko_cee]

Luis Suarez would be perfect in a Klopp side.

Vardy would be fine if the decimal point shifted.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think this weekend has demonstrated who (City) is going to win the league.

[Smiffy]

48 points to play for still and given how it's panned out thus far it wouldn't surprise me if end of February we were 5th, Chelsea up to 6th, Leicester around 8th with Villa and Sunderland replacing Bournemouth and Norwich.

[Smiffy]

I see Arsenal bring on Alex Iwobi, obviously going to be a world beater etc so I had a Google and two interesting things came up, the first is that he is the first player without the letter A, R, S, E, N, L in his surname to feature...some record that.

However the best thing to come up was Mart Poom. I forgot he existed and he's probably still better than Ming.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was quite good preparation for getting rogered at the hands of Chelsea.

[QE Harold Flair]

We were lacking our 3 best (and only) creative players and it showed. Not bad in the circumstances.

[Waffdon]

Atletico continue to get better and better.

[Lewis]

They're going to get donned by 'Zizou', the next best manager ever, like everybody else.

[Waffdon]

As they should, but I highly doubt it. Their defence is minging and Ronaldo has been stinking it up against them for ages now.

[phonics]

688797570454388736

[Jimmy Floyd]

Concluding anything from today's Madrid games is pretty lol. Sporting Gijon and Las Palmas are basically the disabled under 12s.

Barcelona against Athletic in a minute will be good, or at least it will be if you like seeing Basque bodies pile up in the corner.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bilbao keeper sent off in the 4th minute isn't going to help much either.

[Disco]

Is that Vidal with the shittest beard in football history.

Also lol, this going to be a fucking dogpile now.

[SvN]

So that was 3 minutes of a decent game. Oh well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm on Messi first goal and 4-0, so I'm a bit gutted now it's going to be 9-0.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've just read that the Barclays Premier League Sponsored By Barclays will not in fact be sponsored by Barclays after the end of this season, but instead be sponsored by (wait for it)...

nobody.

Apparently this is part of the desire for a 'clean' Premier League brand. lol.

[Giggles]

I've just read that the Barclays Premier League Sponsored By Barclays will not in fact be sponsored by Barclays after the end of this season, but instead be sponsored by (wait for it)...

nobody.

Apparently this is part of the desire for a 'clean' Premier League brand. lol.

Is that not losing out on massive wads of cash or does that even matter any more now that the TV money is so huge?

[SvN]

Barclays are paying £40 million per season, and you'd expect that to go up significantly. An odd decision I reckon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

£40 million is probably a drop in the ocean if they reckon they can market it better as #epl or whatever.

[Weaver]

NPLSBN doesn't have the same ring, does it?

[Reg]

Playing in a team and match like this - Atletico 3-0 down - must be one of the worst times as a footballer. When you know that no matter how spectacularly you do as an individual, it will count for nothing.

[Boydy]

688810754036862977

Look at the state of the people commenting on this slagging him off. He got a photo with van Gaal, big fucking deal.

This one is my favourite:

688812612457508864

Glad you explained 'wtf' there, mate, not heard that one before.

[Yevrah]

Twitter coming up trumps again.

Incomprehensible shite, posted by fucking morons.

[Toby]

I don't go to pubs because sometimes there are idiots talking.

[Boydy]

You can't really blame Twitter for that. It's just people. There are lots of shit people so there's lots of shit on Twitter. But there's some good people, so there's some good stuff on Twitter too.

EDIT: Or what Toby said, much more succinctly than I managed.

[SvN]

I don't care if this is made up, it's fucking brilliant. Stolen from RAWK:


Today was the very first game my 7 year old daughter watched. Full 90 mins, trying to understand the nuances about the beautiful game from her old man.

We sang YAWN together at the start. I tried to transmit my enthusiasm, love for the club with every kick and pass and every shot on goal. We clapped, we cheered, we shouted at the screen - i made her hate that big haired No. 27 and that Shrek looking fella.

She kept saying, "Daddy i love that Liverpool players, get up and play, they dont cry and they dont cheat, but why wont they score Daddy .."

As expected with a kid her age, she lost all confidence when we conceded and her head hung. I kept explaining her, THIS IS WHEN we support - THIS is what it means to YAWN. Comeon baby, BELIEVE!

She kept saying, no she didnt. I kept saying, YES BABY - BELIEVE! And then for the last 3 minutes i said, BABY YOU MUST SAY - YOU BELIEVE!

And she did, she shouted the entire added 3 mins "I BELIEVE DADDY!" ... and we lost. And she cried her eyes out.

[Boydy]

Here's another one:

688829702962806784

I think those two fans in the pictures look a little like they might not be the full shilling.

[Magic]

They are right. Total embarrassment.

[GS]

I don't care if this is made up, it's fucking brilliant. Stolen from RAWK:

It can't only be Liverpool supporters who are this mental, surely.

[Luke Emia]

Personally I wouldn't ever want my photo taking with a United player and if I saw a Liverpool fan doing it I would think he was probably mentally retarded as well.

More importantly though every year I watch this game and pretty much the same thing happens. We were far from good but if you can't finish or even get close to finishing you aren't going to win games. No amount of philosophy is going to change that. For us to do anything this season we need a striker this month, any striker basically who isn't Andy Carroll or as I'm now beginning to look at him the black Andy Carroll.

[Gray Fox]

I'd say fair play to Van Gaal and De Gea for stopping to take photos to be honest.

I can imagine in previous years a Liverpool fan asking for a United players photo would be told to fuck off, or given a look to that effect.

[Davgooner]

Take that every day of the week.

[Magic]

I'd say fair play to Van Gaal and De Gea for stopping to take photos to be honest.

I can imagine in previous years a Liverpool fan asking for a United players photo would be told to fuck off, or given a look to that effect.

And vice versa. I'd never ask a Charlton player or Brentford manager for a photo.

:cry:

[The Merse]

i don't care if this is made up, it's fucking brilliant. Stolen from rawk:

'yawn' :happycry:

[Lewis]

The joke will be on 'LvG' when he realises he stopped for a photo with Gary Glitter.

[Mazuuurk]

http://www.101greatgoals.com/101ggvideos/hector-bellerin-talks-about-petr-cechs-influence-at-arsenal-this-season-video/

Bellerins accent is downright bizarre. You can tell he's been in London quite a while, but he still has some sort of Spanish left in there. Just weird.

[CJay]

I had no idea 101greatgoals was still a thing.

[John Arne]

That "RAWK" thing is about as funny as cancer.

[Giggles]

That "RAWK" thing is about as funny as cancer.

Was it meant to be funny?

[Sam]

Jordan Graham, only positive to come out of this season is out for 9-12 months after doing his ACL.

Fuck sake, end this season now.

[John Arne]

Was it meant to be funny?

SvN thought it was "fucking brilliant".

Maybe I'm missing something.

[John]

Maybe I'm missing something.

That would not be unusual, but in this case it's just a Man Utd fan getting a bit too excited over a Liverpool fan seemingly going potty.

I reckon the 'YAWN' thing makes it an obvious fifth columnist, but there we are.

[John Arne]

That would not be unusual, but in this case it's just a Man Utd fan getting a bit too excited over a Liverpool fan seemingly going potty.

I reckon the 'YAWN' thing makes it an obvious fifth columnist, but there we are.

Thanks for that, captain obvious.

[Toby]

Swansea have appointed Francesco Guidolin as manager, who has had a bit of a journeyman career in Italy, most recently managing Udinese before a stint as "techincal supervisor" for the three Pozzo-owned clubs.

I guess reaching the Cup Winners Cup semi-final with Vicenza is/was fairly impressive, but he seems to have done piss all else.

[John]

Thanks for that, captain obvious.

Can't have been that obvious, you were doubting yourself.

[SvN]

YNWA gets autocorrected to YAWN on redcafe.

Turns out it was actually from reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/LiverpoolFC/comments/41eceh/my_daughters_first_game_she_cried_her_eyes_out/

[Smiffy]

Should Chelsea be worried now that Swansea have won? Four points clear but next three games are Arsenal, Watford and Man United.

At what point did the Leeds/West Ham/Newcastle being too good to go down stop to become oh shit, they're going down?

[niko_cee]

There just aren't enough non-shite teams for them to really worry.

[randomlegend]

There's absolutely no way in hell Chelsea will go down.

[Smiffy]

There's absolutely no way in hell Chelsea will go down.

It's a massive long shot but at the beginning of the season there was absolutely no way in hell Chelsea would finish below 10th etc.

The other teams at the bottom don't have Champions League football to contend with and teams are always likely to drop points after traveling.

[GS]

Chelsea aren't going down.

Have a day off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We'll finish between 9th and 14th.

Eibar won 5-1 tonight. They remain 6th. Best team ever.

[Davgooner]

Only Smiffy could be seriously talking about Chelsea going down.

[Smiffy]

Because he's serious all the time. Proper serious. Like, life and death type serious.

Why so serious? I don't know but it's a seriously serious question to ask.

I don't think they'll go down but then who thought the others would either. I haven't even wrote Aston Villa off yet because, you know, football.

[Magic]

Should Chelsea be worried now that Swansea have won? Four points clear but next three games are Arsenal, Watford and Man United.

At what point did the Leeds/West Ham/Newcastle being too good to go down stop to become oh shit, they're going down?

All three of those clubs were in utterly dire straits which were accumulated over the course of a few seasons. This is nothing more than a hiccup. Unless Abra ups sticks and fucks off they'll be fine.

[Giggles]

Because he's serious all the time. Proper serious. Like, life and death type serious.

Why so serious? I don't know but it's a seriously serious question to ask.

I don't think they'll go down but then who thought the others would either. I haven't even wrote Aston Villa off yet because, you know, football.


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jYbAMiVeHxQ/UCV-QoQF1hI/AAAAAAAAFp0/3oPckVaJSis/s1600/BackingAway-1.gif

[John]

That gif is the first good use of Jeremy Piven since that camp clothes salesman in whatever Rush Hour film it was.

[Toby]

Should Chelsea be worried now that Swansea have won? Four points clear but next three games are Arsenal, Watford and Man United.


2-0, 3-1, 0-0.

[Giggles]

This tinkerman shit needs to die a death.

[Max Power]

Not as bad as that weird trilogy intro from Jonathan Pearce. Fucking loser.

Can't see us doing anything tonight. Maybe keep it 0-0 and win it off the bench late on

[Smiffy]

We'll dispose of Exeter by at least four tonight. :nodd:

Pitch makes all the difference.

[Manc]

If Ibe doesn't run riot tonight I'm writing the lad off.

[John]

The Lazio game is fun. Klose is still plugging away, chasing balls down the wing and then panting for twenty minutes, and their kit is lovely. They have a centre back who looks like one of the dirtiest players I've ever seen. His name is Maurizio and apparently he's been sent off three times in the league this season. We're half an hour in and he's wiped people out off the ball, gone in for headers with both knees and elbows up, and took out Zaza with one of those bonkers jumps that are never meant to get the ball, but instead take you about three inches off the ground at two hundred miles an hour. He's brilliant.

[Giggles]

We'll dispose of Exeter by at least four tonight. :nodd:

Pitch makes all the difference.

Against Exeter? Jesus, fire up the open top bus so.

[John Arne]

Benteke still looking the worst player on the pitch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm watching the magazine programme 'La Liga World', which I think is probably the worst thing ever shown on Sky Sports. At the moment they're doing one of those dewy-eyed retrospective interviews that normally I quite like, except this one is Julien Faubert looking back on his Real Madrid career.

It ended thus:

'The memories of former Real Madrid player Julien Fow-bert, a player who was unable to make his mark on the Liga BBVA, but retains fond memories of his time at the Bernabeu.'

[John Arne]

Even Klopp is laughing at him.

[Smiffy]

Against Exeter? Jesus, fire up the open top bus so.

Try harder, pet.

[Smiffy]

If Ibe doesn't run riot tonight I'm writing the lad off.

Every match seems the same with Ibe. His crossing and decision making is appalling.

[Max Power]

This is slow. Hook Ulloa at HT please

[Disco]

Woof.

[Magic]

Decent goal. How are this shit anywhere near the top of the league?

[Magic]

Lol I thought Albrighton was either:

A) not getting a game at Villa
B) plying his trade in the lower leagues

[Magic]

:harold:

[Magic]

Lol at the boo boys. Pathetic cunts probably sky fanatics.

[Lee]

Lol at the boo boys. Pathetic cunts probably sky fanatics.

Who is booing? Can't hear anything at the ground. Different mix today though, the usual season ticket holders weren't around me. Albrighton has been outstanding this season, by the way.

Bit rubbish but never mind, first team will be back out against Stoke and I like what I saw from Chilwell and Gray again.

[Vim]

Sturaro smashed a full-power clearance straight into a Lazio player's face. That was really scary. Shite game though, so dirty that Chiellini came out man of the match.

[Smiffy]

Manc

That match was exactly why Benteke is useless.

[Pleb]

Well that escalated quickly.

Won't hear the last of this. The local news hyping this shit up is laughable.

[CJay]

Benteke is playing like Torres, Shevchenko, Falcao, Balotelli, Caroll... It's just not working. Get rid. That chance at the very end. :face:

[Pleb]

Any highlights for this?

[Smiffy]

Benteke is playing like Torres, Shevchenko, Falcao, Balotelli, Caroll... It's just not working. Get rid. That chance at the very end. :face:

That chance at the end wasn't the first time he's been in a similar position. Good work to set up our second but he appeared the odd one out for me.

Ojo is nearly ready. :drool:

[Samadini]

If I was any good at anything, I reckon I could have turned this into a cracking 'Spot the ball' thing.

http://c.files.bbci.co.uk/14925/production/_87816248_joe_allen_scores_reu.jpg

Even with the ball there it took me ages.

[Manc]

I'll back Benteke to the hilt. Team Mandingo.

[Boydy]

689931923800592384

Awww.

[Manc]

Maca. :drool:

[GS]

I didn't bother watching the Liverpool game, but I'm sufficiently persuaded by the BBC summary that we should sell Benteke forthwith.

[Boydy]

I didn't either but it sounds like he had a shite game again. He should be banging them in against a fucking League Two team. It's ridiculous.

[Manc]

http://www.howlermagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/2015-09-14-00_16_11.gif

[phonics]

You've overpaid for him by 20 million quid but the things Liverpool are asking of Benteke instead of playing to his strengths is almost as lol as the amount of 30 yard shots per game like it's Olympic Soccer for the PS1.

[Lewis]

I never noticed Ander Herrera cowering like a bitch for that goal. No wonder 'LvG' hates him.

[CJay]

I didn't either but it sounds like he had a shite game again. He should be banging them in against a fucking League Two team. It's ridiculous.

It's not even that he should be banging them in, he just doesn't attempt to get into goalscoring positions. He hangs around on the edge of the box like he's Frank Lampard when he should be getting on the end of things in the box, or at least trying to. It might be ok if we had other players getting into those positions, but we don't. There's no way Klopp is telling him to do that, surely. It's probably a confidence thing, but it's infuriating to watch.

[Smiffy]

You've overpaid for him by 20 million quid but the things Liverpool are asking of Benteke instead of playing to his strengths is almost as lol as the amount of 30 yard shots per game like it's Olympic Soccer for the PS1.

Things like get in the box, press high up the pitch and not fuck up simple one on ones? Minus the pressing that's exactly what he should be doing but he's awful.

He's a classic example of square peg in a round hole.

[CJay]

You've overpaid for him by 20 million quid but the things Liverpool are asking of Benteke instead of playing to his strengths is almost as lol as the amount of 30 yard shots per game like it's Olympic Soccer for the PS1.

Ok, what are his strengths?

[phonics]

Yes I can see how lone striker Benteke is a square peg in the lone striker round hole.

Getting Benteke to press :D It's like asking Giroud to press. You have to play a different style. Get him a ball to feet within 12 yards and he'll muller it.

The problem is your 'system' reverts around pulling to the outside of the box and shooting hence the 35 shots and 3 on target versus United. It's a shit tactic.

edit: @CJay (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=42): Balls to feet within 12 yards allowing him to turn and shoot, set pieces and relieving pressure when you don't want to pas from the back.

Giroud is absolutely useless apart from lumping it up to him, a 1-2 on the 18 yard line and a threat at the near post. Outside of that you have to let him be him and he'll score some other goals with the confidence playing to his game brings and he's a complete beast.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Gegenhoofing.

[phonics]

I'm halfway through this and he's only scored 3 goals from further than 12 yards out


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRGZU2M4IqY

[Boydy]

It's not even that he should be banging them in, he just doesn't attempt to get into goalscoring positions. He hangs around on the edge of the box like he's Frank Lampard when he should be getting on the end of things in the box, or at least trying to. It might be ok if we had other players getting into those positions, but we don't. There's no way Klopp is telling him to do that, surely. It's probably a confidence thing, but it's infuriating to watch.

Absolutely. The reason he doesn't score is because he doesn't move off the ball.

[phonics]

If he's hanging around on the edge of the box it's because he knows that's his chance to get the ball. Professional footballers aren't that thick. And your recurring tactic of shooting from long range is proving it true.

[niko_cee]

Tekkers is alright. If they want shot of him they should 'play to his strengths' for the rest of the season so as to recoup some fucking money for him. But that assumes money is a relevant consideration, which I don't think it is anymore. That kind of rationality has long gone out of the window.

[Boydy]

If he's hanging around on the edge of the box it's because he knows that's his chance to get the ball. Professional footballers aren't that thick. And your recurring tactic of shooting from long range is proving it true.

Or shooting from long range is the result of no one being in the box.

[phonics]

Finished it. 9/49 were from outside 12 yards (3 outside the area) and 5 were penalties.

[phonics]

Or shooting from long range is the result of no one being in the box.

You don't have the sort of stats you guys have without it being a tactic or you would be hauled off. To put it in perspective Coutinho has had 48 long range shots (2 goals) (injured for at least 4 games) to Arsenals 90 for their entire season. And that's not taking into accouhnt Henderson, Firmino and Moreno.

[Boydy]

I watched a bit of it. There seemed to be much more willingness to attack the ball in the box (particularly in the air) and positioning himself on the shoulder of the last man. That's just not happening now at Liverpool.

[phonics]

I watched a bit of it. There seemed to be much more willingness to attack the ball in the box (particularly in the air) and positioning himself on the shoulder of the last man. That's just not happening now at Liverpool.

And that will be a tactical choice from the manager. Players don't change their games like that.

[Boydy]

Coutinho's gone mental with the long range shots since he scored a couple of decent ones a while ago. It's fucking annoying and he needs to calm it down.

I still think it's a symptom of there being little movement in front of them though.

[Boydy]

Not everything's a tactical choice by the manager for fuck's sake.

'Hey, Christian! I need you to go out there today and be shit. Don't run around off the ball. Just stand around. Attack it in the box? No, no, don't do that either. Don't really try at all, in fact.'

That's just not happening.

[phonics]

I don't think he's the greatest striker alive. I just watch his play versus what I've seen before and see a player hanging in different positions and his game suffering due to that. I very highly doubt that Benteke's position was highly regulated previously, I can imagine that at a bigger club it is.

Ciro Immobile and Adrien Ramos were massive failures at Dortmund. Both big men with ability in the 12 yard area. +1 for the 'philosophy' being the issue?

[CJay]

:cab:

Ever heard of Lewandowski?

[phonics]

Have you seen the pace of that bloke? For a man of his size it's absolutely unreal. It's like watching a bothered Yaya Toure for 90 minutres.

[CJay]

He's not that fast. And Benteke's not a slouch either once he gets going. Which he doesn't. It was the same under Rodgers too. I would say, being a regular watcher of Liverpool games, that Benteke actually gets the ball into his feet in good positions quite often.

[phonics]

I would say, being a regular watcher of Liverpool games, that Benteke actually gets the ball into his feet in good positions quite often.

Hence why he's your top scorer.

[Boydy]

But with what is still a pitiful tally.

Also, it's just 'hence', no need to add why. Sorry, that bugs me.

[CJay]

Yeah, you clearly haven't been watching him. I'm not sure any of his goals are a result of the strengths you've highlighted.

[phonics]

I'm saying since Klopp came in he's been massively mismanaged. He'd have been on what six before 'Jurgen'? You put that across a whole season and it's 24 goals which is perfectly accpetable.

[CJay]

Two, actually.

[Gray Fox]

I think the problem with Big Ben is that we have zero wingers. Ibe isn't really one as all he does is cut inside. Everything we do is narrow and every lofted ball he gets, is from Sakho. Teams can easily set up against this, as we've seen with anyone playing us with any kind of capable defence, shutting us out.

If we bring in some width, he'll have some room to breathe and also have far more favorable balls coming to him from wider areas. He's not exactly an intelligent player so we need to remember who he was when we actually bought him. He's never banging in a 30+ goal season like a Suarez would. But if we shift our expectations to a 20 goal a season player, he could well be that.

[Boydy]

He'd probably work quite well alongside Sturridge as well, with Sturridge creating space for him but who knows if they'll ever get a chance to play together regularly.

[Gray Fox]

Sturridge hasn't trained with the first team for nearly 2 months now. There's something going on there that's not his injury, I feel.

[Boydy]

What does that even mean?

[CJay]

Klopp's a daft racist?

[Gray Fox]

He's been training off by himself since the Newcastle game. He's had more than enough time to recover from the hamstring pull he had during that game and is apparently still not available for selection, nor does he have an expected return date.

In short he's out indefinitely for reasons we don't know. I don't think it's injury based. Something must have happened behind the scenes.

[Smiffy]

Or you know...a legit attempt to finally help the guy last longer than five minutes?

[Gray Fox]

I'd agree but it doesn't come across that way in press conferences.

[ScousePig]

I didn't either but it sounds like he had a shite game again. He should be banging them in against a fucking League Two team. It's ridiculous.

I'm sure he would if he played against them every week. Not scoring in a one (two?) off game against a lower league side is the least of your worries with him.

[niko_cee]

So does Sturridge have one of those 'Wilshere injuries'?

[simon]

It seems a pretty simple point that phonics is making. At Villa, Benteke would get the ball pummeled at him from all angles and he'd thrive because he's great at holding the ball up and attacking crosses.

This current Liverpool side don't pummel the ball forward to a target man, nor do they have anyone that's getting to the byline and delivering the ball ever. Hence you're seeing Benteke doing what any striker would do and trying to get himself involved in the game. And it turns out he doesn't really have it about him to be that kind of striker.

He'll get sold to Newcastle in the summer and he'll score 15 games for them next season.

[CJay]

You're not watching our games. We do put in crosses, we were even doing it last night. Benteke simply doesn't attack them. The ball goes into the six yard box and he's drifted out to the edge of the area.

[simon]

A few years ago I'd have jumped at the chance to go in search of chalkboards to prove you wrong, but I'm just going to take your word for it today.

Maybe I've grown into a better person.

[Toby]

Nobody seems to bother with stats for Cup games, and he barely played against United, but the maps of his involvement against West Ham and Arsenal do reflect the sort of thing the Liverpool fans are saying:

http://i.imgur.com/Sq7pUPn.png

http://i.imgur.com/GoRHBkK.png

[simon]

Fwiw, I don't disagree with the fact that he's coming deeper. I just don't think there's any way that Liverpool are crossing the ball in (or playing long, direct balls up to the striker) anywhere near as much as Villa were last season.

[phonics]

I also didn't say he wasn't hanging around the edge of the box. I said he's being tactically instructed to do so otherwise you'd be seeing a better player.

[Boydy]

Were Rodgers and Klopp both doing that then?

Cause he's been shite under both.

[Lewis]

I reckon he's just not as good as people thought.

[Reg]

Did people even think he was that good? No other top teams were after him and I'm sure most people baulked at £30m.

[SvN]

Did Zimidy make it over? I've just realised he's not posting here.

[Lewis]

Did people even think he was that good? No other top teams were after him and I'm sure most people baulked at £30m.

You've got to remember that before Boydy came back Zimidy was generally seen as our football 'expert', so most of us just took his word for it. Quite a few of us were surprised that Liverpool got him so cheap.

[Boydy]

You what?

[Boydy]

Lewis

Oi.

[Lewis]

I couldn't think of anybody crap to put, so I just put you because seeing you post about it is still a novelty (but not crap).

[Giggles]

I still remember being totally shocked when I first seen Boydy post about football within the last year. I still don't know if it was a recent thing and the Liverpool thing was because of Rodgers, or he just didn't bother with it for years and got back into it.

[Boydy]

I couldn't think of anybody crap to put, so I just put you because seeing you post about it is still a novelty (but not crap).

Oh, right. I thought you were saying I was like Zimidy.

[Boydy]

I still remember being totally shocked when I first seen Boydy post about football within the last year. I still don't know if it was a recent thing and the Liverpool thing was because of Rodgers, or he just didn't bother with it for years and got back into it.
Yeah, lost interest for years then got back into it.

[Lee]

What a time you've chosen to like Liverpool again.

[Lewis]

He should have stuck with Rangers.