The Driving Thread

[Magic]

As per the old board. All driving related postage in here.

(Inspired by Alan Shearer the 2nd and Pepe)

[SvN]

My test is booked for the end of October, but I haven't driven since my previous failure in July. Need to get back on it.

[Yevrah]

I've got to drive to Leeds on Tuesday morning, which means I get to experience the joys of the M1 again. Wonderful.

[Pepe]

My car has been making some weird noised and the check engine light turned on. Had trouble starting it the other day too. Last time I used it, however, the check engine light was gone and the noises, while still there, seemed less loud (or maybe I'm getting used to them). I think I'll keep driving it like that until it explodes.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I think my M5 is about to rape me with a 10" dildo.

[Pepe]

Some basic math has made me realize that my bicycle is worth more than my car now.

[Vim]

I still haven't gotten round to doing my licence, it looks like unless I can find a solution next summer I'll have to do it in Danish.

[Giggles]

I've 750km to do tomorrow in my 1.4 diesel behemoth.

[Yevrah]

750km? Bloody hell.

[Pepe]

That's rough no matter the car.

[Magic]

500 odd miles is the most I've done. Thankfully it was mostly if not all motorway.

[Yevrah]

The furthest I've driven is about 500km (350 miles) and while I generally enjoy driving that journey reached the stage where I was fucking sick of it.

[Pepe]

On a single day the most I've done is around 1200kms. That turned to over 2300kms in two days.

[Giggles]

Well it's 375 there and back with around 2 hours work in between. Should be around 4 hours each way if I leave at the right time.
Checking my odometer I put up 1037km Thursday and Friday past.

[Magic]

My company car is coming up for its second service in four months.

[Giggles]

I've 30,000km or 18 months marked on mine, whichever is sooner, for the first service. I've racked up nearly 14,000 in 2 months :drool:

[Magic]

Bloody hell mine is only 12,500m.

[Yevrah]

That is fucking nuts Giggles. What is it you do that requires that much driving?

[Pepe]

I don't think I do that in a year.

[Baz]

Why are you talking in kilometres and not miles?

[Giggles]

Why are you talking in kilometres and not miles?

Because my car doesn't have any reference to miles in it, nor do the road signs.


That is fucking nuts Giggles. What is it you do that requires that much driving?

Supplying machines and service contracts to companies scattered all over the country.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why are you talking in kilometres and not miles?

Irish...

[Giggles]

Irish...

It was a hard adjustment as I was using miles in the UK for years after here changed. It took having a car with km/h only clocks to get me fully used to it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Driving in Poland has helped me but not by much.

I still have to struggle to convert to miles.

[Giggles]

When I used to visit from the UK I had the car with both miles and km on the dial, but I still had the 50>31, 60>48, 80>50, 100>62, 120>75 conversions in my head when I passed speed limit signs here.
Now I'm so used to km that I have to really think about the mph speed limits when I go over the border.

[Samadini]

Buying your first car is daunting shit.

Where the fuck to begin?

[Magic]

Gumtree. :drool:

[Samadini]

Am I asking for trouble looking at used cars for under a grand, or is it possible to get something in that price range that isn't going to fall apart as soon as I touch it?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I don't see why not.

My Toyota cost exactly £1000 a few years ago and I've not had a single problem with it.

[Samadini]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1997-FORD-ESCORT-GHIA-X-RED-/201428212781?hash=item2ee60e9c2d

£82

:drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh and my cousin bought a car which had been written off twice (fucking moron) for £660 and he used it for a couple of years, don't think anything went wrong when he was using it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I just saw the MOT certificate for that car :D

Fucking hell.

[Pepe]

Stop postboosting you cunt.

[Samadini]

Yeah

[Danny]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1997-FORD-ESCORT-GHIA-X-RED-/201428212781?hash=item2ee60e9c2d

£82

:drool:

Just sold for 170

[Mellberg]

I did 2,755 miles (4,434 km) driving around Europe for 10 days. The last leg from Vichy to Birmingham was 671 miles. To say I'd had enough by then (boring drive with flat roads and little scenery, too) would be an understatement.

[Giggles]

Turned out to only be 722km in the end, but the last hunderd or so back towards Dublin were in some of the worst rain I have ever driven in. Maybe the worst. The whole motorway was doing no more than 80km/h, couldn't even see the lines separating the lanes.

Some epic fork lightning caught on the dash camera though.

[Josh]

What are dash cameras for? Is it for insurance purposes or is it just to try and catch funny stuff and put it on the internet?

[Giggles]

What are dash cameras for? Is it for insurance purposes or is it just to try and catch funny stuff and put it on the internet?

The former. The standard of driving is so aggressive and poor here that they are becoming very popular.

[Magic]

I'm tempted to mention it to work as they'd be right up for that sort of thing. Worried it'll catch me speeding and driving aggressively though.

[Giggles]

I had bought mine and then mentioned it to work and they paid me for it.

[Magic]

Does it capture your speed? I guess the fuckers would check my tracker anyway. It's if they ask for footage randomly or footage of an accident and see some terrible driving beforehand is giving me the shits.

[Giggles]

It only captures the speed if you buy one with the built in GPS unit. It will then show it on the screen during playback (if you choose) or in graph for for the selected journey. My work never ask to look randomly (car isn't tracked either), but one of the guys had someone cut out into him from a slip road and he was able to use his personal one to prove it as their fault for insurance.

I did load up a journey one day after the boss questioned how I got somewhere and back to quickly. But it turned out he didn't know they had opened a new motorway.

[Josh]

I got a notification today that my VW Golf GTE has arrived in the UK and I should have it in about 10 days time. Can't wait!

Sold my old car last Monday so have been driving my girlfriends old mk 2 golf for a week and cannot wait to get my new one. I miss power steering.

[Magic]

Josh who were you on TD?

[Giggles]

What's a GTE? Is that electric?

[Josh]

Yeah it's the hybrid version of the gti/gtd. Looks exactly the same but with blue trim. Commute should be on electric only and can charge at work and have solar panels on the house I've just bought so basically a free commute. Add in the government grant and a bit of negotiation and I'm paying around the same a month to run this than I was to run my kia ceed I sold.

[Josh]

Josh who were you on TD?

Josh T.

Dropped the t and will probably post for about 2 weeks until I go back to lurking.

[Lewis]

Hull to Portsmouth in four and a half hours (including stop at Leicester Forest), with the dog asleep in the back and my mother wittering all the fucking way. I am the Colossus of Roads.

[Lewis]

Portsmouth to Hull in seven and a half hours. I was absolutely seething.

[Giggles]

That's enough to induce a murderous rampage.

I did 670km yesterday but had to do it in a truck which, as painful as it was, was kind of fun too.

[Giggles]

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-34365794

The Swiss ban sales of effected VW emission scandal cars.

[Toby]

Surely before we spend however much an enquiry costs we could say to VW that if we find they've done the same here there'll be far harsher conditions than if they just admit it now. It's not like they're going to get away with it at this point so they could really save everybody's time and just admit they've done it everywhere.

[Magic]

All those gimps that currently have massively devalued cars. :harold:

[Giggles]

All those gimps that currently have massively devalued cars. :harold:

When all is done then there will be some grounds for claim there for excess depreciation.

[Davgooner]

Went to leave my brother's last night and I've parked in front of him on the pavement. For some reason as I jump in and start it I press down the gearstick and whack it into reverse instead of 1st, then went to pull away fairly quickly.

So yeah. Both cars not damaged but there was a guy walking his dog past at that exact point who absolutely shit himself.

[Toby]

VW admitting that 1.2 million cars in UK are affected, including Audis, Skodas and Seats.


Almost 1.2m Volkswagen vehicles in the UK are involved in the diesel emissions scandal that has rocked the German carmaker, underlining the scale of the crisis.

VW said the diesel vehicles include 508,276 Volkswagen cars, 393,450 Audis, 76,773 Seats, 131,569 Skodas and 79,838 Volkswagen commercial vehicles. The total number of cars affected is 1,189,906.

This is the first time that VW has revealed how many of the 11m cars that were fitted with a defeat device to cheat emissions tests were in the UK.

The scale of the number means the UK is likely to be one of the worst affected countries by the scandal.

VW said it will contact customers within the next few days about visiting a mechanic to have their car refitted. The cars affected are fitted with EA 189 EU5 engines.

[Magic]

Ohhhhh shhhhhh for those that have VAG company cars and their tax. :drool:

[Lewis]

I think this VW/Audi stuff is brilliant. The only way it can get better is if their defence becomes 'Look, we've been involved with worse'.

[Magic]

The saving grace will be the rest of the manufacturers being found out too and behold, the emissions scandal truly begins. This would be a good time to nuke the middle east while the bourgeois are up in arms about their eco-wank cars and tax allowances.

[Baz]

Some dick at work that I don't like bums his Skoda Yeti. Hope this scandal has at least caused him some mild annoyance.

[Lewis]

I got randomly waved over into a 'census point' by a copper on my way home, which I went along with because you can't really run plod over, only for some pleb to knock on my window and ask if I wanted to help the council with a census by telling him about my journey. I said 'IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS WHAT I DO MATE', but still had to wait there whilst the twat in front of me spent five minutes answering the questions. Who do these bastards think they are?

[Niobium Knight]

I need a family car for about £3000-£4000. My Peugeot 306 exploded yesterday. Looking at Seat Leon, VW Passat, VW Jetta. Any others?

[Magic]

You'll be able to get one of those for a few quid once the eco lies fully bed in.

[Yevrah]

People who refuse to move over when they're crawling along in the right hand lane on a dual carriageway really should be banned from driving.

[Magic]

Flash like fuck then undertake.

[Lewis]

It's also annoying when somebody roars up behind you, so you move, and then they just sit there alongside you like a bastard.

[Magic]

There'll be someone like me haring up behind them soon so don't worry.

Alternatively what fucks me off especially on motorways is having to slow down until a car moves over, then that car speeds up and goes faster than you are so you have to pull in. Rinse and repeat. Arseholes.

Vastly inconsistent speed drivers are the worst. I can't go above 90mph so I'm limited in my abilities to dispose of these arseholes.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There'll be someone like me haring up behind them soon so don't worry.

Alternatively what fucks me off especially on motorways is having to slow down until a car moves over, then that car speeds up and goes faster than you are so you have to pull in. Rinse and repeat. Arseholes.

Vastly inconsistent speed drivers are the worst. I can't go above 90mph so I'm limited in my abilities to dispose of these arseholes.
Yes, I seethe so much at this.

Although if they do it, I'll just power past at 110mph.

[Magic]

:(

Damn you, sir.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's quite fun now that most dickheads have the black box.

King of the road in my 1999 Toyota Avensis :drool:

[Magic]

I didn't realise you were Asian.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Me and Benny are brothers.

[Yevrah]

Oh and I think I might have finally got my first points on Monday. Doing 66 in one of those dual carrigeways with a ludicrous 50 mile an hour speed limit (sorry, wut?) I don't think I broke in time to avoide being snapped by one of those blacked out windowed bastard police vans that was hiding behind a lorry on the hard shoulder.

It's the inconsistency of these limits that's the real joke. 50mph crammed in like sardines on one of those ridiculous stretches of roadworks on the M1 is fine, but any faster than that on a bypass is a no no?

I don't wish to come over all Clarkson, but our road laws and improvements are designed and administered, by and large, by fucking morons.

[Yevrah]

It's quite fun now that most dickheads have the black box.

King of the road in my 1999 Toyota Avensis :drool:

Black box?

[Magic]

Our city bypass is 40MPH which is even more lol. Then you've got the M77, a three lane motorway that has a 60MPH speed limit. :sick:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Black box?

With insurance companies.

Tells you had good/bad you are driving and adjusts your insurance prices accordingly.

If you go over 100mph your insurance is automatically cancelled.

[Yevrah]

With insurance companies.

Tells you had good/bad you are driving and adjusts your insurance prices accordingly.

If you go over 100mph your insurance is automatically cancelled.

Ah, I get you.

How much does that actually save you? I doubt I'd bother even if the insurance was free as a result.

[Yevrah]

Our city bypass is 40MPH which is even more lol. Then you've got the M77, a three lane motorway that has a 60MPH speed limit. :sick:

This is the sort of thing I'm getting at, I mean fucking honestly - what massive fucking tool decided that those reductions from the norm were necessary?

The bypass I was on used to be 70MPH, but there was a bad accident a few years back at the hands of a complete idiot who (having stuffed 7 kids into her four door, including two in the boot) drove into oncoming traffic on the other side of the road. I would have thought the massive fucking steel girder they installed afterwards would have been sufficient, but no, the emotive calls from the unfortunate's bereaved relatives also got the speed limit reduced.

[Lewis]

I would sooner pay double than have some 'black box' looming over me.

[Giggles]

Flash like fuck then undertake.

Most cunts here will jam on the brakes if you flash the lights and the cops have been flat out lately in unmarked cars pulling people overtaking on the left. They do fuck all about the lane hogs though the cunts.

[Mellberg]

Those blacked out vans are a nightmare, Yev. Sort of shit which should kick off a revolution.

Yes, I've been snapped by one.

[Magic]

Just an FYI: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34444427

[Niobium Knight]

Been looking for a car for the last week or so. i think I've narrowed my search down to either a peugeot 308 1.6 HDI (£30 road tax and nice to drive apparently, even if they do look a bit weird), and the Toyota Auris 1.4 D-4D. Has anybody driven one of these?

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Call me a cynical bastard but I'm pretty sure I shouldn't find this in my sump-

http://s14.postimg.org/a8rokdp7l/12081426_1502878530034293_602397083_n.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

That circlip is 3" diameter.

:uhoh:

[Giggles]

Ouch.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I'm hoping it's from a previous issue just before I bought the car, which is perfectly possible as the car is running fine. Best case scenario though so can't leave it to chance.

[Magic]

Www.wonga.com

:thbup:

[niko_cee]

I have no idea what any of those things are. Does 'cynical' imply somebody has put that in there (wherever there is)?

[Baz]

Warning light came on for tyre pressure today. Checked them and they seemed alright so I've blown them all up a bit and reset it. Hopefully it doesn't come back on again.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I have no idea what any of those things are. Does 'cynical' imply somebody has put that in there (wherever there is)?

'Twas in jest.

Here's where it's located, well, meant to be-


http://s16.postimg.org/jvxur4ho5/T3k_Bn.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

http://s28.postimg.org/4jnpe2zxp/1111.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[niko_cee]

:D

I appreciate the effort.

[Giggles]

That engine :drool:

[Magic]

http://m.liveleak.com/view?i=a19_1444852745

oh my Christ.

[Niobium Knight]

Just bought a Kia Cee'd diesel.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Winning life...

[Pepe]

How's that BMW treating you? :henn0rz:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'll be getting it next year.

[Multi]

About to buy my first car, looked at it today and it was glorious. It felt like driving a whale but what a glorious beast of a whale.

Blacked out Chrysler 300. Let the hate commence. :drool:

http://i596.photobucket.com/albums/tt49/NVMYSRT8/IMG_1206.jpg

Note* this is not the actual car, just a google image of something pretty similar.

[Magic]

Why would you want that as your first car? See you on Liveleak.

[Multi]

Because it's fucking gorgeous? I don't know what Liveleak is, so jokes on you.

[Magic]

It means lol when you run over that small child/old lady.

[Magic]

Gorgeous? Its all right angles you mook. Its hideous.

[ScousePig]

Upgraded my Fiesta this week to a Zetec S TDCi. Only picked it up yesterday but it feels pretty smart.

http://www.crg-usedcarsselby.co.uk/media/images/9333395/p5.ford-fiesta-diesel-hatchback.jpg

http://www.beaconhillusedcarcentre.co.uk/sites/www.beaconhillusedcarcentre.co.uk/files/styles/fmg_extra_large/public/used_vehicles/photos/car_id_475_4_infinity.jpg?itok=ES3Hh3Fh

Insurance wasn't that much more than my old one, which was nice, and tax only £20.

[Baz]

Just bought a Kia Cee'd diesel.http://www.littlemonstersforum.co.uk/images/q/4ertm4oh.png

:uhoh:

[Boom-Boom]

I came out of the cinema last night to the worst fog I've ever experienced. I could barely see anything driving home to the point that I considering parking up and getting the bus home.

I persisted and got home but it was far from safe.

I used my fog lights for the first ever time and they made absolutely no difference.

[Giggles]

That Chrysler :drool:

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

My dad has it in estate form, just make sure you don't have black alloys or a black grill on it or you'll look like a twat.

The QE2 has a tighter turning circle.

[Giggles]

The estate is weird looking in that they really did just seem to cut an extra bit out and weld it to the saloon.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I quite like it but it does look like a hearse in black.

[Pepe]

Are those rare over there?

[Giggles]

I quite like it but it does look like a hearse in black.

One of the lads in work has just got rid of his.

For a 645i :drool:

[Multi]

Are those rare over there?

Very rare in Sweden at least, imo people here have the most boring cars ever. People only care about safety and MPG, the losers.

[Pepe]

Yes, that's what I thought. They are hard to miss, that is for sure.

[Multi]

More importantly Obama drove one and this: http://www.complex.com/sports/2011/08/gallery-the-25-most-iconic-hip-hop-cars/chrysler-300c

[Foe]

The fog in and about London is obscene. Both the flights I was supposed to get were cancelled so after 7 hours mooching about Heathrow we're now driving the 530 miles through the fog in a rental (2.0 insignia).

Chaos.

[Toby]

I used my fog lights for the first ever time and they made absolutely no difference.

They're not really for you, they're for other drivers.

[Giggles]

They're not really for you, they're for other drivers.

The front ones are supposed to be for you as they're lower down on the car and can light up more road without glare in the fog.

[Lewis]

I expect they're typically American in being under-powered (even that six litre V8 version seems weak) and reliant on seventies engineering, but I've always liked those Chryslers. Multi will look like a right geezer bowling around in it. Especially if the tinted windows make him look like he's got hair.

[Giggles]

Most of the ones around here are Merc diesel engined ones I think. Fairly sluggish but they're like a boat anyway.

[Lewis]

I didn't know that. What's the point of having an American car if you can't have the dickhead engine in it?

[Toby]

The front ones are supposed to be for you as they're lower down on the car and can light up more road without glare in the fog.

Fair enough, but I've never seen any that do much of note in properly thick fog.

[Giggles]

Fair enough, but I've never seen any that do much of note in properly thick fog.

They don't do a massive pile really in heavy fog, nothing will. Better off not on the road altogether.

[Multi]

I didn't know that. What's the point of having an American car if you can't have the dickhead engine in it?
Mercedes Benz V6 diesel engine. That's all I know. Supposedly reliable and will last for ages (miles).
I'll post up a picture of the actual car when I get it.

Edit: I'm also rocking the proper baldy now, shaving my head against the grain and all. Looking more and more like my avatar by the day.

[Magic]

My Focus sounds completely fucked. It's making a rattling noise at really low revs in gear, and when I'm accelerating it sounds like a dodgem or an electric bus.

No power loss or anything or warning lights and seeing as how it's a company car I really couldn't give a shit, it's due a service in 2k miles so if it breaks down before then oh well.

It's less than 2 years old and only on 51k miles. BUILD QUALITY.

[Magic]

So in other news the NOTE's rear windscreen demister is now fucked. The fuse is fine so one has to assume it's the wiring. Awesome. Looking forward to at least 2 hours labour and parts on that. :(

[Pepe]

Just don't bother fixing that shit.

[Magic]

It's a pretty important function in winter time especially in a car with no air con.

[Pepe]

No air con? What sort of poverty car are you on?

[Magic]

It's not crucial in a country where the average temperature for June is 13C...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mine hasn't worked in about 2 years.

It's no biggie.

[Magic]

I wouldn't give a shit if it was my car, but it isn't my car it's the wife's car.

[Baz]

Someone crashed very lightly into the back of someone I work with. After some to and fro with the guilty bloke's insurance, they sent him £980 to get his bumper replaced, He hasn't bothered because you can't even tell unless shown the scratch, so has got a free G. :drool:

[Magic]

Don't you have to sent back an invoice or something?

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Air con is handy for demisting the windscreen even if it's not warm.

[Magic]

My Focus sounds completely fucked. It's making a rattling noise at really low revs in gear, and when I'm accelerating it sounds like a dodgem or an electric bus.

No power loss or anything or warning lights and seeing as how it's a company car I really couldn't give a shit, it's due a service in 2k miles so if it breaks down before then oh well.

It's less than 2 years old and only on 51k miles. BUILD QUALITY.

:D

So it broke down on the A96 halfway between Huntly and Keith. It was the thrust bearing. New clutch as well. It took 3.5 hours to get the recovery driver and get me to Inverness. He was a nutter, ex-Bouncer from the Midlands, was showing me his stab wounds etc.

There was no hire car arranged or fuck all so I had to take someone else's car home. Office/Ford/Arval were less than useful. I still have it anyway, my car and all my kit/car seat/work shoes etc is still up north. :(

[Pepe]

My power steering broke. Time to work those biceps.

[CJay]

We got a letter in through our door from Volkswagen today. Apparently our Altea has one of those sneaky VW engines. They say "they deeply regret breaking our trust", which I feel should more accurately read "we deeply regret being found out". No word of what's going to happen yet, but they cover all costs apparently.

[niko_cee]

Demand a full refund.

Thieving German bastards. Such hard workers. So efficient . . .

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

http://s1.postimg.org/7slya6tbj/cpc.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

http://thumbsnap.com/s/wbrfnt0D.gif

Everybody's getting a handshake for Christmas.

[Magic]

Lmao. My rear windscreen was 45 quid just for labour to repair two broken wires.

[Waffdon]

How much for a flat in the Ferry, MJ, babes?

[Magic]

Rent or buy?

[Waffdon]

Rent, ofc. I can afford it off £1300, I imagine, but i'm just trying to work out how much money after bills I'ma get.

[Magic]

We were £400pcm for a maisonette but that was 5 years ago. Its tough as you've got insurance, tax and all the bills, plus living as well. Good luck.

[Waffdon]

Its not ideal, but it looks like it may have to be done, you know? Carnoustie is far too limited and expensive it seems. Monifieth, Ferry or somewhere decent in Dundee is where I'm looking at.

[Magic]

We bought in the Glens though they're expensive to rent. Fuck Chuntnoustie.

[Waffdon]

King street?

[Magic]

Yes next t'Gunners.

[Waffdon]

I was having a look at one there - £450pcm. Looks aite.

[Baz]

What car've you got though.

[Waffdon]

nissan skyline

[Magic]

Car is fixed. It was the input shaft bearing, whatever the fuck that is. Also got a service. Pick it up Tuesday, thank fuck. Can't wait to have my bae back.

[Pepe]

Your cars seem to always break, you must drive like a troglodyte.

[Magic]

If in doubt, flat out.

[Lewis]

I bet it's all harsh acceleration, aggressive gear changes, and braking in a seethe.

[Magic]

Yeah for my company car, I treat it like a hire car, basically. When I got lost in the fog and ended up in Cowdenbeath by mistake I did a handbrake turn at a dead end and absolutely reamed the clutch.

When it's my own car I treat it like a high-class whore.

[Toby]

I have a set of winter tyres on my old Punto that my girlfriend's brother says should be fine for the Fabia I'm driving now.

I trust his judgement on this sort of thing but I don't really understand how you'd work out a suitable match. Those are 185/55/14 and the Fabia's current tyres are 165/75/14.

[wullie]

Passed the MOT this morning without even a single advisory, which has never happened before. If it wasn't for the fact I had to take it in at 6.30 and the inevitability of my car being totalled by a lorry later today, this would be the best car-related day IN THE WORLD.

[Toby]

Finally getting those winter tyres on today, which is very handy, as it's just started snowing.

[Pepe]

Forgot to answer that one but yes, they should work just fine.

[Magic]

Shit I've just had an e-mail through asking if I've informed HMRC about my company car...LOL.

What do I do? Say yes and just not tell them or will I get crucified for that?

I've not paid tax on it ever so I'm probably due thousands of pounds.

[Giggles]

Shit I've just had an e-mail through asking if I've informed HMRC about my company car...LOL.

What do I do? Say yes and just not tell them or will I get crucified for that?

I've not paid tax on it ever so I'm probably due thousands of pounds.

How come your company don't deduct that when doing your pay anyway? Madness if you have to notify them yourself.

It wasn't from a Nigerian Prince looking for your bank details to register it was it?

[Magic]

Because they are fucking idiots. I could plead ignorance here and just say I thought it was taken care of but they'll probably backdate it.

I've read the onus isn't on the company but on you so I'm fucked either way.

[Giggles]

Because they are fucking idiots. I could plead ignorance here and just say I thought it was taken care of but they'll probably backdate it.

I've read the onus isn't on the company but on you so I'm fucked either way.

Ah right. I can only go on here where it's taken at source but it probably works differently in the UK.

That said, my current payslip was showing I owe nearly €9000 income tax so I think the car BIK is the only correct thing in there.

[Toby]

In the most stereotypical islander thing to happen to me in a while, I obliterated a couple sheep on the way home tonight. Roads had been gritted for possible snow tonight and about seven of the stupid fuckers were across the whole road eating the salt. Would have struggled to avoid it in daylight as they were at the peak of a blind summit, so had no chance in darkness. Car seems to be fine thankfully but Jesus it stinks.

[Yevrah]

I've never hit anything living. Was it scary?

[Toby]

Didn't get time for much thought beyond, "oh fuck". The impact was surprisingly soft. Feared there would be more damage to the car but there's just a bit of the grill gone and a very slight dent in one side. I then discovered I was out of screen wash though so had to drive another couple miles in darkness with a screen covered in fat and blood.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

What a chilling image that would have been had anyone seen you driving after the incident.

[niko_cee]

Fucking hell.

:D

How fast were you going when you hit them or do animals tend to explode on impact?

[Reg]

Fantastic post that, Toby. Did you not think it was worth checking whether they were dead, or was it obvious?


do animals tend to explode on impact?
:D

[Danny]

Lamb for dinner then?

[Toby]

Fantastic post that, Toby. Did you not think it was worth checking whether they were dead, or was it obvious?


:D

I went back and hauled them off the road, they were very definitely very dead.

Probably still going about 40-50 on impact Niko but I think exploding organs is normal.

I jokingly asked a guy I know who drives an arctic truck if he'd been on that road today. Turns out he killed two as well...

[Disco]

Sheep are rubbish. Cows are, unsurprisingly, solid though.

Should you not tell someone that you've ram-raided half their flock?

[Toby]

It's land known as a "scattald" managed by multiple crofters, so there's no real way to know who actually owns them. It's a nightmare stretch of road because they're basically free to graze without a fence in sight.

[Toby]

So much for no damage... The brake warning light came on yesterday but I couldn't see anything wrong with them. Fluid level was fine and it went off after driving (very slowly) for a bit. I assumed it was just an electrical fault or a problem with the gauge, until this morning when I got to the end of my road and my foot went right to the floor when I tried to stop... Luckily I was going slow enough I could just slow it using the gears, and there was no other traffic around so I didn't need to stop completely anyway.

In the garage now getting checked over. I'm really hoping it's a quick fix as I've got plans tonight I'll have to cancel if I don't have a car. :moop:

[Magic]

The brake warning light came on and you didn't immediately stop and call breakdown? You risked your own life and the lives of others by driving on.

Nicely done.

[Toby]

I did immediately stop, and checked under the bonnet. There was no sign of anything actually wrong, so - as suggested in the car's handbook - I continued to drive slowly and carefully. It then went off again, so I drove normally and didn't put it to a garage. It's since come back on and I've put it to a garage to be looked at. Take your melodrama elsewhere.

[Toby]

Also lol at the idea of there being a breakdown service here.

[Magic]

Would you even know what to look for? Can you show me any car handbook that says continue to drive on carefully if the brake light comes on? The fact is you aren't facing up to your potentially huge, ignorant mistake as is shown by your flagrant dismissal of my previous post. Maybe when you murder a young family you will realise.

[Toby]

Well, if you have a handbook for a 2000-2007 Skoda Fabia handy you can look it up. It specifically says if the brake light flashes and it beeps three times, stop and check the fluid level, and that if fluid level is okay you should continue driving and "adjust your driving style accordingly". I did that, and then the warning went away again. It's come back on, so the car has gone to a mechanic to get properly looked at.

Piss off with your talk of murder you fucking housewife.

[Magic]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG1W81GVm_I

[Toby]

I'm literally on an island where people drive - legally - without MOTs, btw.

[Magic]

I bet there are over a million cars out there without an MOT or tax or anything, look at the gyppos too.

Half of them break down on the Forth Road Bridge. :moop:

[Toby]

I bet there are over a million cars out there without an MOT

Yep.

http://www.thedugout.tv/community/showpost.php?p=4382327&postcount=9424

[Magic]

You utter swell. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I once drove just over 8 miles with no brakes in my Peugeot 106.

I'm not sure why my brakes stopped working though because they were fine the next day.

[Giggles]

I love how magic can go from a sewer dwelling rat who takes the utmost pleasure in people getting manfled, yet can still get his scanties in a bunch about this. Melodrama doesn't even touch it, if there was an accident he'd be the one lolling at the injured and photographing the corpses.

[wullie]

If I had a brake warning light come on I'd be too paranoid to do anything, I had the general diagnostic light come on which made me shit myself until someone confirmed it was a bad connection with the still-working rear indicator.

[Magic]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-34986092

Holy fuck. Looks like the first car realised and tried to move out the way but not fast enough.

[Baz]

The guy I sometimes work with drives while I eat my dinner, and he's absolutely reckless. I hate it.

He has 12 points - 9 for speeding and 3 for being on his phone, and yet he still does both.

I just stare into my lunchbox and hope we don't die in the fifteen minutes a day that he's driving. :uhoh:

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

It's hard to take heed of motorway warnings signs when the majority of the time it's information that would have been handy 6 hours prior.

[Magic]

It's hard to take heed of motorway warnings signs when the majority of the time it's information that would have been handy 6 hours prior.

Well useless gantry sings like 'BELT UP' and 'WATCH YOUR SPEED' are utterly useless but 'DELAYS AHEAD' or 'OUTSIDE LANE CLOSED' or the smart motorways are actually pretty fucking handy, even if said incident has expired.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

In light of my recent wallet raping, I feel I should post this to make everyone feel better when they get a surprise £100 bill for the car-

http://s29.postimg.org/8c1zgy26v/kill_me.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[Giggles]

But still, every one of those miles is :drool:

[Magic]

What a sad cunt you are. You should be driving a Dacia Logan MCV or whatever it is if you're the type of wet weekend that has a spreadsheet like that.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I like to remind myself how much I've thrown into a pit.

[Magic]

Why? That's the whole point of owning something you can't afford.

[Giggles]

Why? That's the whole point of owning something you can't afford.

Where did he say he couldn't afford it?

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Yes, being able to afford bills doesn't make them any more pleasant when they come round. :D

[Magic]

Moaning about it = not being able to afford it.

[Giggles]

Where was he moaning about it you spiky fuck?

[Magic]

It was implied. No need for the racism.

[Magic]

Fuck sake the FRB is closed indefinitely.

[Magic]

Fucking hell it's shut until after New Year...

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Just when I think I have some respite from car bills for a while, the Clio goes and shits its power steering fluid all over the engine bay.

I thought this was compounded by the M5's windscreen washers packing it in today but it turned out to be a loose connector. Every cloud and all that.

[Magic]

Can we see the updated spreadsheet though?

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Not spent any more on it since then, not to try and jinx myself...

[ScousePig]

Just looking at MOT status's and vehicle details on the DVLA, and one car for the vehicle status says 'SORN and due past date of liability'. Can anyone explain what this means? I've googled it and got sort of answers, but nothing concrete. The car's currently in a showroom and only arrived a couple of days ago.

[Toby]

Could be that the website is out of date and still thinks a SORN has to be renewed each year?

[ScousePig]

It's the DVLA website.

[Toby]

Could be that the website is out of date and still thinks a SORN has to be renewed each year.

[ScousePig]

How much does it cost to get scratches out of alloys? Or more accurately, how much am I likely to be charged.

I had a hire car last week and the place I got it from (Europcar) are claiming there's a scratch on both front alloys (made up bollocks by the sounds of it). The company who provided the hire car have written to me saying they've been informed of the scratches and I could potentially be billed for it.

[Giggles]

I've had wheels fully refurbished (powder coated, sprayed, and polished) for £30 a wheel.

[ScousePig]

They better not start trying to charge me extortionate prices for it. Cunts.

[Giggles]

With a car rental company you can pretty much guarantee it.

[Baz]

I had something similar once, only they were saying scratches on the car. I hadn't actually signed for the car because I was out when it arrived and they'd just posted the keys through my letterbox, so I got away with saying it was scratched when it arrived.

I say "got away" but I'm 99% sure I didn't scratch it, and that there weren't even any on the car anyway.

[ScousePig]

I didn't scratch it either, but since when has that mattered?

They dropped it off at 8pm so it was obviusly pitch black, and told me to check the car over once it was light. Even then I couldn't see the scratches that were already meant to be on it, let alone a couple on the alloy. They picked it up when I was out so didn't get to speak to anyone/survey the scratches.

[Toby]

Think I'm probably going to look at buying another car some time in the next few months. I love my Fabia but I think it's going to start showing its age pretty soon and now that I have a less temporary job I'm thinking to get something a bit newer on hire purchase.

Would be looking for something good value, both in cost of the car itself and in running costs. What would people recommend for 2010-12 sort of age hatchbacks? Having looked at HonestJohn reviews and compared to average prices, a Fiesta is looking a good choice at the moment.

[Magic]

Ew at a second hander on HP. :sick:

Just get a new one you freak.

[Toby]

Seems a bit pointless when they're about half the price after only a couple of years.

[Magic]

The mechanical outlays on a car that's already 6-4 years old isn't worth it, mate. It's a lose lose. Imagine paying finance AND road tax, MOTs, big services etc. 5 years is a big one for cars as that's normally when a lot of shit needs done.

Basically you can't win, but if I had the choice I'd take £150-£250 per month + petrol + tyres eventually rather than the same plus all the other shite that comes with owning a car. Remember that one will be de-valuing as well.

[Toby]

True, I guess I'm overlooking resale value and not really considering all costs. Still, to look at the Fiesta example, I could get a 12 or even 13 plate for around £6k whereas a brand new one is closer to £14k. Seems like a massive difference even once everything is factored in.

[Magic]

Remember you'll still be able to return it. Basically it's almost like a lease. Lease a depreciating asset, buy an appreciating asset.

Only think about the monthly cost, it's too hard otherwise.

£150 * 36 = £5,400. Depending on deposits, excess mileage etc. Try to go for something that will keep it's value better.

Now another loan would be similar, except you'd have the value of the car after three years, so say £3,000 if you're lucky. Now, a timing belt bill can set you back almost £800 on some small hatchbacks. That and other things would shat all over any 'savings' you'd made by not buying new. And if you can't afford the repairs then tough shit.

[Magic]

I buy my cars in cash. I was just hit with a £266 for MOT and Service (and a couple of repairs), plus road tax, plus 2 tyres. That was over £500 in total this month. :(

So the thought of having a loan payment as well gives me the boak.

[Toby]

All fair points. So what would be your recommendation(s) for a new hatchback? Preferably with good fuel economy for primarily longer (50+ mile) journeys.

[Pepe]

Why not save some money and buy something in cash? What's wrong with your current car?

[Magic]

I have no idea buddy. Have you thought about a new Fabia? You get the 1.2TSI or whatever it is for a good price. My wife's uncle who is a divorced warehouseman with two kids manages to fund his ok. Plus it's a smart little car.

[Magic]

http://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/seat-ibiza-sport-coupe-1-0-e-3dr-lease-vehiclesavers-9-x-23-72-68-pm-2325-76-2298786

[Toby]

Why not save some money and buy something in cash? What's wrong with your current car?

I suppose it's largely based on what Magic has been saying - my previous cars have been what I could afford in cash and it's just a lot of hassle and unpredictable cost. I don't really have cash available to buy a good car up front, so I'd be skimping and hoping I didn't encounter any problems.

Current car is actually doing okay for the age (14 years) but it's only going to need more and more work done if I keep using it.


I have no idea buddy. Have you thought about a new Fabia? You get the 1.2TSI or whatever it is for a good price. My wife's uncle who is a divorced warehouseman with two kids manages to fund his ok. Plus it's a smart little car.

I was looking at them yeah. I'd prefer a 1.4 but the price jumps massively to get that with the Fabia. I'll maybe just try a few test drives and see what I like.

[Giggles]

This is all working off the assumption that a new car is guaranteed not to be a dog. Though the chances are more in your favour I suppose.

If you are going 2nd hand then take a look at the Mazda 2 as well. They're a Fiesta up until 2014 but don't normally cost as much. A Yaris is hard to beat too, and the new ones don't look as much like they're for someone disabled.

[Magic]

This is all working off the assumption that a new car is guaranteed not to be a dog. Though the chances are more in your favour I suppose.

If you are going 2nd hand then take a look at the Mazda 2 as well. They're a Fiesta up until 2014 but don't normally cost as much. A Yaris is hard to beat too, and the new ones don't look as much like they're for someone disabled.

That's a decent assumption. Avoid Arnold Clark like the plague too. Leasing can be alright but if there's any tiny evidence of 'damage' they'll fleece you for it.

[Toby]

If you are going 2nd hand then take a look at the Mazda 2 as well. They're a Fiesta up until 2014 but don't normally cost as much.

They do look decent.


A Yaris is hard to beat too, and the new ones don't look as much like they're for someone disabled.

:D

[Toby]

I requested quotes for various cars on CarWow (www.carwow.co.uk) and it's come back with a brand new Fiesta for £8,300. :serious:

[Lofty]

I requested quotes for various cars on CarWow (www.carwow.co.uk) and it's come back with a brand new Fiesta for £8,300. :serious:

It's quite amusing seeing what competing dealers undercut each other by but not sure if the deals I'm being offered are any good.

I'm a giant man looking for a car that's going to be doing a potential 600 miles a week, it's going to be on finance and no more than £300 a month. Decent MPG and reliability a must, decent interior wouldn't go a miss but can be sacrificed if needed. Advise me people.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Reliability being a must equals a Japanese petrol.

[Lofty]

I thought big miles = diesel though?

[Vim]

First driving lesson tomorrow.

[Giggles]

I thought big miles = diesel though?

Depends on the driving, though at 600 miles I'd imagine it's mainly motorway.

Then again AS2 is right. A Japanese petrol most likely won't break, so you can weigh up the extra fuel cost vs fixing a more economical diesel.

[Baz]

Good luck. Driving's probably the best thing you can learn as an adult. And it's easy so long as you have common sense.

[Lofty]

Depends on the driving, though at 600 miles I'd imagine it's mainly motorway.

Then again AS2 is right. A Japanese petrol most likely won't break, so you can weigh up the extra fuel cost vs fixing a more economical diesel.

Alas it's more winding A road and dual carriageway bypass than motorway, that's Cumbria for you!

Think I'm going to get a used Skoda Superb, seen a few decent low mileage models under three years old about, hire purchase will allow me to thrash the mileage without worrying.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I thought big miles = diesel though?
In terms of MPG, yeah.

Modern diesels aren't that reliable compared to old school diesels though when you have the likes of diesel particulate filters, EGR valves etc. adding to the complexity. That's more for later in a car's life (for the most part) though so you should be ok given you're looking at fairly new.

Skoda Superb would be ideal for 600 miles a week.

[ScousePig]

How much does it cost to get scratches out of alloys? Or more accurately, how much am I likely to be charged.

I had a hire car last week and the place I got it from (Europcar) are claiming there's a scratch on both front alloys (made up bollocks by the sounds of it). The company who provided the hire car have written to me saying they've been informed of the scratches and I could potentially be billed for it.

£135 they've decided to charge me.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

If you'd ever wondered where this road in Skyfall leads to-

http://s10.postimg.org/842tm41mx/bond.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

It's here-

http://s21.postimg.org/fmgwrnnk7/12764571_10153774915830091_7707097123566862633_o.j pg (http://postimg.org/image/ou958cumb/full/)

http://s27.postimg.org/830gobrer/12798837_10153774916180091_7250186614766244082_n.j pg (http://postimage.org/)

[Giggles]

That looks class.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I can see why they stopped to take the shot there with the DB5. After that the engine undertray was scraping the road half the time.

[Magic]

Alan is one of those freaks that likes to drive aimlessly, somehow justifying in his mind that 'it's all worth it'.

The spreadsheet says otherwise, MATE.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

The spreadsheet does but this was actually a day out to take advantage of the scenery with the weather.

Staying in Torridon over a weekend in April and I've got this bad boy planned-

https://goo.gl/maps/P39qB6bp64n

She'll be downing the travel sickness pills.

http://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/78040908.jpg

[Toby]

Do you look after the garden yourself? The pink roses look lovely.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

That's the neighbour I'm afraid. Nothing but monoblock now for me.