The Last Message You Received?

[John Arne]

What was the last text message you received?

Feel free to provide context, or not.

[John Arne]

Missus just sent me this....

tối nay đi ăn kem không?

I, for one, am looking forward to it :)

[mugbull]

"word"

[John Arne]

Someone agreeing with you?

[mugbull]

"yo when are we heading out for our cuts?"

"prob half an hour swaggy"

"word"

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Yeah. But indoors is different anyway.'

[Giggles]

You missed 1 call from me, the latest at 19:04 on 11.01.2016. To reply just press your call button. Vodafone Intouch.


That's my last three messages actually.

[Pavel]

"Anytime brutha :) *heart*"

Was organising a multi-million micro-penny drug deal.

[wullie]

O2 Priority: Treat the kids to a story of magic and mayhem.

Pick up a copy of Mr. Happy & The Wizard for 99p from WHSmith.

Be more dog. Open the app to get your code

Code up for grabs if anyone wants to treat their kids.

[Giggles]

Be more dog?

[John Arne]

Yeah, that confused me too...

[Spammer]

'That Hillside alarm needs to sort its fucking life out'

An alarm across the road keeps going off in the middle of the night.

[Mellberg]

A mate asking to borrow £200 an hour ago :facepalm:

[wullie]

It's their latest slogan, and the ads make up part of Alexander Armstrong's world domination plans.

http://www.catbedog.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/O2-BMD-Stick-Life.jpg

[Chrissy]

I got one asking if I am attending a meeting tonight. It's mainly folk +40's that still text I think. Whatsapp and DM/PM via social media for everyone else eh?

[Chrissy]

A mate asking to borrow £200 an hour ago :facepalm:

I hope you told them to fuck right off in a polite fashion. Iv'e never understood folk asking to borrow money unless it's a dire situation. Fucking keep to a budget folks, if you don't have it, don't spend it.

[Smiffy]

Depends how you value money I suppose. You clearly attach more importance over it than some based on your reaction.

So long as the debt is always paid who truly cares.

[Giggles]

He's attaching the right amount of importance to it when he's not handing it over to bludging cunts. Maybe once in an extreme case but they can live within their means after that.

[Cord]

Simply the word 'twat'.

Not actually about me, if you can believe it.

[Chrissy]

Depends how you value money I suppose. You clearly attach more importance over it than some based on your reaction.

So long as the debt is always paid who truly cares.


He's attaching the right amount of importance to it when he's not handing it over to bludging cunts. Maybe once in an extreme case but they can live within their means after that.

Giggles is on the ball. I have given out money to folks this past week not looking for it back either, mainly because the person in need is in dire straights and needs all the help they can get.

Had a mate in November ask me for 30 quid, told him to fuck off. Why? Well mainly because he gambles, drinks and lives outwith his means. He'd have paid it back but it's not the point. In that instance a wee bit of hardship is fucking needed so he values not being a toolbox within three days of getting paid every month.

[Chrissy]

Simply the word 'twat'.

Not actually about me, if you can believe it.

That's just out of left field. What was it about?

[simon]

'Bottle job wanker.'

[randomlegend]

Smiffy is blatantly someone who's begged money off mates.

[phonics]

nouvelle Confirmation horaire bornes easyjet: lun 11.01: 12h30-18h et 18h30-21h. Merci. Adecco.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If a mate asked me for money (has happened once actually, but I didn't even have any myself at the time) I'd try and give them the money and say I didn't expect it back, and see what they did. Responses ranked as follows:

1. Humbly withdrawing the request.
2. Insisting they would pay it back anyway.
3. Accepting it with a clear guilty conscience.
4. Huffily withdrawing the request.
.
.
574. Accepting it with any kind of pleasure.

[Smiffy]

Smiffy is blatantly someone who's begged money off mates.

I've been on both sides more than once. I find people in general are too selfish with money, therein lies a huge problem with modern day folk.

[Magic]

'You missed a call from colleague XYZ'

[Giggles]

I've been on both sides more than once. I find people in general are too selfish with money, therein lies a huge problem with modern day folk.

Earning money and not wanting to fork it out to people who won't balance their own books is far from selfish.
The huge problem with modern day folk is the sponging fucks who want to go out and drink, smoke, etc and generally treat themselves and then expect someone else to pay the bills. The need a kick up the hole.

[Giggles]

Smiffy is blatantly someone who's begged money off mates.

He seems the type, rather than just ask for it, to have some zany 'proposition' involving starting a crazy neq business or magic beans. And they'll most likely just hand it over to get him to piss off.

[igor_balis]

The marathon was the most bizarre event of the Games. It was run in brutally hot weather, over dusty roads, with horses and automobiles clearing the way and creating dust clouds. The first to arrive at the finish line was Frederick Lorz, who actually rode the rest of the way in a car to retrieve his clothes, after dropping out after nine miles. The car broke down at the 19th mile, so he re-entered the race and jogged back to the finish line. When the officials thought he had won the race, Lorz played along with his practical joke until he was found out shortly after the medal ceremony and was banned for a year by the AAU for this stunt, later winning the 1905 Boston Marathon.

Thomas Hicks (a Briton running for the United States) was the first to cross the finish-line legally, after having received several doses of strychnine sulfate (a common rat poison, which stimulates the nervous system in small doses) mixed with brandy from his trainers. He was supported by his trainers when he crossed the finish, but is still considered the winner. Hicks had to be carried off the track, and possibly would have died in the stadium, had he not been treated by several doctors. A Cuban postman named Felix Carbajal joined the marathon, arriving at the last minute. He had to run in street clothes that he cut around the legs to make them look like shorts. He stopped off in an orchard en route to have a snack on some apples which turned out to be rotten. The rotten apples caused him to have to lie down and take a nap. Despite falling ill from the apples, he finished in fourth place.[

The marathon included the first two black Africans to compete in the Olympics: two Tswana tribesmen named Len Tau (real name: Len Taunyane) and Yamasani (real name: Jan Mashiani). They were not in St. Louis to compete in the Olympics, however; they were actually part of the sideshow. They had been brought over by the exposition as part of the Boer War exhibit (both were really students from Orange Free State in South Africa, but this fact was not made known to the public). Len Tau finished ninth and Yamasani came in twelfth. This was a disappointment, as many observers were sure Len Tau could have done better if he had not been chased nearly a mile off course by aggressive dogs.[4]

chased nearly a mile off course by aggressive dogs!

Pretty enjoyable read for when I woke up.

[igor_balis]

Oh shit, didn't read the thread properly before posting, that was a facebook message obviously.

Last text was : 'Hi. Are you up and about?' from my boss. I was.

[Smiffy]

Earning money and not wanting to fork it out to people who won't balance their own books is far from selfish.
The huge problem with modern day folk is the sponging fucks who want to go out and drink, smoke, etc and generally treat themselves and then expect someone else to pay the bills. The need a kick up the hole.

Perhaps but then I wouldn't want to know where the money is going, just that they can pay it back when they say they will.

[Smiffy]

He seems the type, rather than just ask for it, to have some zany 'proposition' involving starting a crazy neq business or magic beans. And they'll most likely just hand it over to get him to piss off.

I prefer the straight shooting "Spot us £20 til payday la" but feel free to assume whatever makes you feel clever.

[Smiffy]

In that instance a wee bit of hardship is fucking needed so he values not being a toolbox within three days of getting paid every month.

And did he? Probably not. He probably went and ask somewhere more willing whilst thinking you were a cunt.

Then he went to lose it in the bookies. :box:

[Davgooner]

'Northern cunts'

[Manc]

"Don't forget to text the estate agents about the bathroom sink please!"

What a life I lead. :drool:

[Lewis]

Yes it does my fucking head in when all of a sudden everybody is a big fan especially media types like grimshaw saying he listens to his music every day no you don't you lying twat I'm a fan and even I don't you fucking cunt

From the old man. Too busy for punctuation.

[Charlie]

'Why you so curios'

[John Arne]

'Why you so curios'

Presumably after you text "do you have a hairy muff?"

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

'How do I scan again because can't find the programme again...sorry'

Despite showing my Mum how to scan things about 15 times she still doesn't know how to do it :moop:

[Spammer]

I think I'd soon go to a loan company than ask a mate for money.

That or sell something.

[Lee]

"Wow that's disgusting."

That's Lauren after I messaged her to say I'd probably just broken the world record for longest turd.

[Pen]

'You missed a call from colleague XYZ'

Fuck the modern day gender neutral names, eh. What were the parents thinking there.

[Ian]

"Wow." from a girl at work. I'll leave it out of context so you can imagine she thinks I or something I've are amazing. Or shit. Or just anything more interesting than the truth, really.

[Giggles]

"Wow." from a girl at work. I'll leave it out of context so you can imagine she thinks I or something I've are amazing. Or shit. Or just anything more interesting than the truth, really.

I'm going to imagine you sent her wang pics.

[Boydy]

Yeah, and she's saying 'wow' because she's never seen one so small.

[Ian]

Being memorable. :cool:

[Magic]

My last text on my personal phone is:

'Hi, everything ok? x'

That's from the mother-in-law.

[Boydy]

She's making sure you haven't killed her daughter yet.

[Lewis]

Or, knowing how Magic usually responds to her 'interfering', is ensuring that he does so that she can have the kid.

[Magic]

:D

Cunt.

I just replied saying 'Everything I've done I can justify in a court of law x'.

[leedsrevolution]

That single x at the end. Brutal.

[Raoul Duke]

"Wow that's disgusting."

That's Lauren after I messaged her to say I'd probably just broken the world record for longest turd.

See - if it just read "That's disgusting" it'd be fine, but the "wow" means secretly she thinks you're a big shot, alpha male winner :thbup:

My last message was some shithouse automated Estate Agent thing telling me about a shit flat in a hellhole sink estate for eleventy billion pounds.

[Lee]

I might even have beaten my own record already this evening. The amount of excrement I've ejected today is quite something. This hasn't happened for weeks.

[The Merse]

'Germany has an ex Stasi agent prosecuting people who report migrant crimes on Facebook as racists'.

[Pen]

I might even have beaten my own record already this evening. The amount of excrement I've ejected today is quite something. This hasn't happened for weeks.
That would explain the large shits.

[mo]

"Mog's next Milbemax worming dose is due. Need more? Pls contact our practice."

Classic Mog, always needs worming.

[Magic]

How can anyone in their right mind have a wild, filthy animal in their home?

[7om]

Your wife manages.

[randomlegend]

She's hardly going to chuck herself out.

[Magic]

At first I was like:

http://49.media.tumblr.com/409a839ece0f3807d23861fc6e744568/tumblr_n6zdmspPiE1skh0gdo1_400.gif

And then I was like:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ec/ef/ca/ecefca1783e8dd2f50e3e0c85ef66588.jpg

[7om]

https://49.media.tumblr.com/2dc1aea06f1d14535e5c04b68c2822d7/tumblr_msixamEnc01rzd6w3o1_400.gif

[randomlegend]

http://i.imgur.com/VQLGJOL.gif

[Toby]

Just walk out, don't forget to knock your chair over and slam the door.

Context in the 4-day week thread. She's a keeper.