[FOOTBALL] Half Season Review [Archive]

Lee

30-12-2015, 08:18 PM

After the Sunderland vs Liverpool game we're halfway through the Premier League season and just past that point in other divisions. I've pinched the format from something GS put together on the old place so excuse any alterations I haven't made. In the spirit of not being a lazy bastard, I'll kick us off.

OVERVIEW:

My Team is:Leicester City
Expectations (at start of season): Lower midtable.
View on performance: I'm still struggling to believe it's real. Outstanding.
Any other comments: I love Claudio.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Claudio Ranieri
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 5
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): What do you think?
Areas they have performed well in: He's done just about everything well. His initial set up at Bournemouth was shit and it showed in the performance but I reckon we can overlook that. The biggest improvement from Pearson is his tactical knowledge and willingness to learn. Last night is a great example; we learned against Arsenal we can't just go at the big teams, so he set us up to defend and break and it worked brilliantly. He rarely gets a substitution wrong. He knows our strengths and plays to them.

It is becoming increasingly obvious to me that the "Tinkerman" stuff at Chelsea was just a case of him being ahead of his time. Another good example of his tactical ability is our much improved defence. It is regularly highlighted as a big weakness of ours but we are not condeding many at all at the moment. Eight in the last ten league games, I think. That's because he swapped De Laet and Schlupp for Simpson and Fuchs in the full back positions, making us much more solid. The bloke knows what he's doing.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: You just carry on, mate.
Any other comments: I love Claudio.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 5
Best Result of the season: It's really difficult to pick one out. I'll go for the 3-2 home win against Villa because our late comeback epitomised our ability
Best performance of the season: Arguably last night given the context and the type of performance, but I'd probably pick the Chelsea win just ahead of it of those I've seen. In reality I think it's probably one of the away wins at Newcastle or Swansea.
Worst result of the season: It has to be the 2-5 at home against Arsenal but that performance was naive rather than terrible.
Worst performance of the season: Arsenal of those I've seen, but probably Bournemouth or Liverpool away.
Any other comments: I love Claudio.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: This is really tough. I'm going for Kante, only on the basis that he has played more games than Fuchs. Morgan, Drinkwater, Albrighton, Mahrez and Vardy also all deserve huge credit.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Wes Morgan. He has been brilliant. He gets in the way of everything and he has learned to bring the ball out and find a man more comfortably too. I thought he was a liability at this level. Danny Simpson has been surprisingly good too.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Probably Morgan again, although Mahrez is up there and the pressure Vardy must have felt against Man Utd before breaking the record must have been quite something.
Underperformer of the season: Possibly Robert Huth. He hasn't been bad, just less good than when he was on loan last season. Tempted to go wth Inler but I think that would be unfair, on reflection. He hasn't played enough.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Nobody has been shit exactly, but I don't rate De Laet, Schlupp (because he is mentally retarded) or Schemeichel and they've done nothing to prove me wrong.
Outright worst player of the season: 'Worst' in our current context is entirely relative. On that basis it's Schmeichel.
Any other comments: I love Claudio

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Kante and Fuchs can have this jointly.
Worst signing this season: Inler, because he hasn't played much and when he has he has looked a bit off the pace. He was better last night in his "do ugly things against a good team" role, mind.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 5
In January I'd like to see us sign: Neither of these will happen but I'd like to see us bid for Demarai Gray or Nathan Redmond, and Jordan Rhodes who I think can hack the top flight and would be a better partner for Vardy than any we currently have. A right back would be nice but not essential given Simpson's form, and a centre back for depth wouldn't hurt but, again, isn't essential. A goalie would be lovely but we won't improve on what we have mid-season. Ben Chilwell and Tom Lawrence should be brought into the first team squad after their current loans, and I think they will be.
In January I think we'll sign: I think we'll leave well alone unless we lose squad players, in which case we'll probably shore up with a couple of loanees.
I'd like to see us sell: Nobody
I think we'll sell: I dunno about selling, but I think Kramaric and Inler may play out their seasons elsewhere with Euro 2016 places to play for.
Any other comments: I love Claudio.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: 6th or 7th from here, which would take terrible form of a point a game from here.
What I think we'll achieve: I'm a chronic pessimist when it comes to Leicester, so terrible form resulting in us finishing 6th or 7th and just missing out on European football. If we get into any of the European competitions I'll be delighted beyond words.

Manc

30-12-2015, 08:37 PM

Kiko's chomping at the bit.

Jimmy Floyd

30-12-2015, 08:46 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Chelsea
Expectations (at start of season): I think I said 2nd.
View on performance: Not only absolutely atrocious, but also faintly mystifying and inexplicable, which makes it worse.
Any other comments: We should be a cautionary tale for any big club out there in the post-TV money age who fancies even a split second of complacency.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Jose Mourinho / Guus Hiddink
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): Mourinho 1.5, Hiddink n/a
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): I would sack Hiddink, because he is pointless, and bring in Eddy Howe or something. Mark Hughes. As for Mourinho - we should never have sacked him, and those responsible must themselves be sacked and never work in football again. As a club (and a league) we are not corrupt nor tax free enough to attract the very top echelon of player, but we had a world class manager. He was being a prick and his fatal flaw is ridiculous stubbornness, but he was the one top level asset that we had. I think we're probably looking at a trophyless decade now that we have sacked him.
Areas they have performed well in: Mourinho, none really, other than winding up Wenger (again), but he was still setting the team up well in big games. Hiddink, who cares.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: As above Mourinho is just so stubborn and thrives on us against them, which backfires on him, but that's just the other side of the coin which wins you the league by 8 points.
Any other comments: Shite.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): Minus seven thousand.
Best Result of the season: Beating Arsenal.
Best performance of the season: Beating Arsenal, probably, or the Porto home game.
Worst result of the season: Jesus Christ, how long have you got. Losing at home to Bournemouth I guess.
Worst performance of the season: I fear it has yet to come, but I think the high water mark of ineptitude so far was probably the defeat at Stoke in which we just did nothing.
Any other comments: Shite.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Will I An
Pleasant surprise of the season: There have been no pleasant surprises this season.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Will I An for all those free kicks keeping us out of the relegation zone / in Europe.
Underperformer of the season: A long, long list of candidates for this but the winner is Eden Hazard, who is not only shit, but a fat Belgian cunt. He did naff all in the World Cup, had about a third of a good season for us last year and still thinks he's world class. Based on his performances this season he's no better than something like the Danish or Belgian league, or mid-table in the Championship. We should just loan him out like the rest of them. Honourable mentions to Matic, Ivanovic, Diego Costa, Pedro (who is an appallingly poor footballer who must have just been providing ballast to stop Barcelona philosophising themselves into a corner), and the shitcunt Fabregas.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Branislav Ivanovic is a TERRIBLE full back. I have been saying this for years. Why can nobody else see it?
Outright worst player of the season: I'd like to say Papy Djilobodji but I don't think he's made it onto the pitch yet, so instead I'll say Ivanovic.
Any other comments: I just want to see some different player to the same band of terrible human beings that have been parading the pitch so far. Same side every week, same results. Put some kids in, lose, get relegated, I don't care.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: I've just looked at our signings and the best one turns out to be 18 year old Romanian right back Cristian Manea, on the basis that I have never heard of him.
Worst signing this season: Papy Djilobodji is one of the all time greats in this category, never mind this season. Then there's the £4 million we spent on Reading's 23 year old dynamo Michael Hector, only to loan him back to them and see him sent off most weeks. Then the FOURTEEN MILLION on Baba Rahman, who looks ordinary at best. I mean, what the fuck are those three signings about?
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): Does not compute.
In January I'd like to see us sign: Nobody. I'd like us to recall some of our loans - Bamford, Swift, Kalas - and make them first team regulars just for the sake of it.
In January I think we'll sign: Probably some washed up twat from the arse end of La Liga for £12 million.
I'd like to see us sell: I'd bloody love to see Fabregas sold, or Hazard to Real Madrid for a billion quid. Never happening though.
I think we'll sell: Great Uncle Bulgaria says we're not selling anyone, so presumably we're not selling anyone.
Any other comments: No.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: 12th or something. Those expecting a glorious charge to the top six are going to be sadly disappointed.
What I think we'll achieve: As above. We'll go out to PSG and go out to the first half decent team we play in the cup too.

Byron

30-12-2015, 08:48 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: West Ham United
Expectations (at start of season): 10th-12th
View on performance: Really quite good so far, given the number of suprise packages there have been at the top end of the table
Any other comments:

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Slaven 'I burn villages for fun' Bilic
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 4.5
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): Abso-fucking-lutely not.
Areas they have performed well in: I think my favourite aspect is that he's obviously convinced the team to have a go at the bigger sides, that no side is invincible, which would have been anathema to Big Sam. So far we've beaten the likes of Arsenal, City, Chelsea and Liverpool where I never thought we would manage results like that previously
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: I think there has been a touch of naivete against smaller sides, losing to Bournemouth being one of them, as well as the slew of draws against teams recently. It would be nice if he tweaked things so we could learn to break down those kinds of sides a bit more patiently but fuck it, it's a much more minor criticism that it sounds like.
Any other comments:

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 4
Best Result of the season: Probably the Liverpool win, seeing as it was something like 60 years since we'd won there.
Best performance of the season: Either the opening day win against Arsenal, or the Liverpool win. Everything went right on those games.
Worst result of the season: The 4-3 loss to Bournemouth, or the 2-2 draw against Sunderland. Probably the latter as that really should have been a simple 3 points.
Worst performance of the season: The Tottenham defeat. Probably the one game so far where we have ben completely outmatched.
Any other comments:

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: St. Payet for his skill. It's clear he's such a class above the rest of the side it's crazy and I can't remember a player this good since Tevez in that spell when he saved us from relegation (remember that season Hammer?)
Pleasant surprise of the season: Lanzini. I'm always wary of these dodgy loans from Middle-Eastern clubs but he's proven to be a real attacking threat and certainly not the waster I thought he would turn out to be.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: St. Payet, but Adrian always puts in a good shift against the bigger clubs.
Underperformer of the season: Difficult to say, I guess I'd have to say Enner Valencia but he's spent a lot of the season injured so it's a little unfair
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Has Joey O'Brien even played this season?
Outright worst player of the season: Probably Valencia, but again it's very much unfair on him, he's just not really been able to be effective.
Any other comments:

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: St. Payet, or Lanzini
Worst signing this season: Why did we even sign Jelavic?
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 4
In January I'd like to see us sign: On the basis that we can't trust Carroll to ever be fit again, another striker would be good but otherwise I'm not sure. Collins has been saying he wants to play more (obviously with Euro 2016 round the corner) so if we choose to loan him them we'll need another centre back. I don't want rid of him though as he's a hard bastard and you need at least one in defence. He was also superb against Southampton.
In January I think we'll sign: Probably another winger, since we seem to love them, but otherwise, no-one
I think we'll sell: Collins will probably go on loan and I think we'll try to cut our losses on Valencia.
Any other comments:

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: 10th or higher would be a good season but considering our form, we should be aiming for Europe in some form.
What I think we'll achieve: Probably fall just short, so I'll stick my neck out and say 8th.

Toby

30-12-2015, 09:39 PM

I'm sure the defeat to Stoke highlighted by Floyd as worst performance of the season was the game Simon claimed was a sign of improvement.

mugbull

30-12-2015, 10:16 PM

I think we're probably looking at a trophyless decade now that we have sacked him.

Is this a joke? No, it's not, but it's an idiotic thing to say. You guys can still sign any player you fucking want, outside of Lionel Messi and Ryan Mason, and you have all the money in the world that propelled you to league and CL titles under managers who were not Mourinho.

wullie

30-12-2015, 10:24 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is:Coventry City
Expectations (at start of season): Can't remember exactly, but we avoided relegation on the last day so it couldn't have been much more than a top 10 finish at best.
View on performance: Beyond what I could imagine, the summer seemed to switch us from relegation to promotion candidates in a snap

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Tony Mowbray
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 5
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No, but if I were in charge I'd work for SISU so I wouldn't be far away from doing something mental
Areas they have performed well in: Completely turned the team around, both in terms of play and seemingly attitude.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: We can probably be bullied if the opposition are that kind of team, but there aren't enough sides in League One capable of battering us at the moment. He loves Fortune which is a little baffling.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 4
Best Result of the season: Last season we went in 2-0 down at half-time at home to Peterborough and won it 3-2. Almost an exact year later the exact same thing happened. The result was amazing because we were dogshit.
Best performance of the season: Beating Wigan at home was surprising, but going away to the other relegated side in Millwall and being 4-0 up within half an hour or whatever it was really set the tone.
Worst result of the season: Thankfully few contenders, but losing 1-0 at Sheffield Utd the other week was awful because we hadn't lost in months and had a number of awful decisions go against us.
Worst performance of the season: Losing at home in the FA Cup to Northampton probably

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Adam Armstrong is leading the division in goals, Jacob Murphy scares the living shit out of most fullbacks he's played, John Fleck is finally looking like the midfield fulcrum he should have been on his first day, but Romain Vincelot came along and seems to be the quiet difference, shepherding the midfield along nicely.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Aaron Martin. He would have been shipped out at one point if all our defenders were fit, but he's taken his chance and come along a lot.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: James Maddison's been out most of the season, but in the last week he's won a game both teams were trying to lose and saved a point at the death.
Underperformer of the season: Arguably Joe Cole. As the loan is really to get him fit again he's caught out as being off the pace a fair bit, although the old magic is still there at times.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Chris Stokes came from Forest Green and although it's harsh to put anyone in this category his first touch is still in non-league.
Outright worst player of the season: Marc-Antoine Fortune's the current scapegoat in the desperate need to have one, but he's not really featured enough to offend too much.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Romain Vincelot, the first signing we've paid money for in years. Sam Ricketts has brought calm and experience. A number of the loanees too
Worst signing this season: Fortune, out of a need to pick someone.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 4. Would be 5 but a few of the loans are expiring so I have a fear of January.
In January I'd like to see us sign: We're signing Andy Rose from Seattle to help the midfield already and Martin Lorentzson should be fit soon to help the defence. Both goalkeepers are young and in Charles-Cook's case a little brash, so an experienced goalkeeper would be nice. Otherwise please extend Armstrong, Kent and Bigi and find another centre back from somewhere
In January I think we'll sign: A defender on loan along with the hopeful extensions of the players already here
I'd like to see us sell: Nobody
I think we'll sell: Lateef's being let go, but we're not showing signs of getting rid this time. If Fleck doesn't agree a new deal he might be sold to prevent him walking

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Playoff spot at least. It's been 45 years since a top six finish of any kind
What I think we'll achieve: I've seen enough seasons to know that the second half of the season sees a dramatic drop in form, so I'll play safe and say we won't fall into League Two.

mugbull

30-12-2015, 10:35 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Tottenham
Expectations (at start of season): 6th-7th
View on performance: We've been really unified defensively, which is something you never think you'd hear. Offensively we can definitely still improve, but we've only lost twice which is miraculous. Too many draws are a reflection of a difficulty in creating clear cut chances, and also Tottenham.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Pochettino
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): As close to 5 as you'll get
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): I would sack him immediately and replace him with Ledley King
Areas they have performed well in: Essentially everything. He knows how to balance defence and attack (I presume given he was a defender in his playing days), he has the man management skills that yung AVB didn't have, he's moulding a particular team and a particular playstyle. I don't particularly care one way or the other about having a young/home-grown team but it does appear to be working, and there's definitely a good sense of "team".
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: He's going to need to rotate, now that some of our players are playing shit, and he hasn't been trying out anything new because our Plan A has been working so well. I fear there's no Plan B.
Any other comments:

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 4
Best Result of the season: City 4-1.
Best performance of the season: Also City 4-1. So good.
Worst result of the season: The Newcastle game a couple weeks ago, so shit. Or that Stoke game that they came back from 2-0 down.
Worst performance of the season: Watford on Monday was the worst we've played this season, and yet we somehow won.
Any other comments: We've gotten the results this month but performances, save for the Norwich game, have been slipping. The next few weeks will define our season. We can go ole Tottenham yet, do not despair.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: I consider central defensive pairs to be one player, so let's say Vertonghen-Alderweireld. If I had to choose one I'd say Toby, but without one you don't have the other.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Lamela. He was so, so shit the past two seasons and he's been pretty good this season (though still has room for improvement). Dembele as well, he's a guaranteed starter now (for good reason).
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: I don't know what this means. Lloris always does well in big games, yeah? Kane?
Underperformer of the season: Without a shadow of a doubt it's Eriksen. I've read he's had 6 assists this season which is incredible given I can't remember a single contribution he's made to the team since October, and he still starts every game. He needs to be dropped (along with Alli) for a few games to see what happens.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: D-D-D-Danny Rose
Outright worst player of the season: Nobody's been terrible, but I'd say Townsend wins this. But he never plays, so we might go with Ryan Mason? Tom Carroll? Rose maybe too, out of our surefire starters. Eriksen's coming close.
Any other comments: Eriksen needs to stop fucking around. He's still a shit Coutinho.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Alderweireld
Worst signing this season: Njie was pointless
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3.5
In January I'd like to see us sign: A better left back than Davies/Rose (Rodriguez?), a back-up striker, maybe a good dribbling midfielder if we can find one.
In January I think we'll sign: A back-up striker, a shit defender
I think we'll sell: Fazio, Townsend
Any other comments: There are definitely positions that need strengthening but our shit fans are convinced we're set, mate

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Given how bad everyone around has been, we need 4th
What I think we'll achieve: I think we'll manage 4th in the end, but it will be tight as hell

Jimmy Floyd

30-12-2015, 10:38 PM

Is this a joke? No, it's not, but it's an idiotic thing to say. You guys can still sign any player you fucking want, outside of Lionel Messi and Ryan Mason, and you have all the money in the world that propelled you to league and CL titles under managers who were not Mourinho.

We won all those titles (except the last one) with Cech/Terry/Lampard/Drogba, whatever the other variables might have been. Even the last one had three of those at least in the dressing room, plus Mourinho as coach. We don't have that anymore and we haven't done any sort of succession planning whatsoever, so I think it'll be a lengthy period in the relative wilderness.

Yevrah

31-12-2015, 04:18 PM

Something GS put together?

Inattentive fucker.

Yevrah

31-12-2015, 04:22 PM

As for Jordan Rhodes, why has no Premier League team given him a crack?

igor_balis

31-12-2015, 04:26 PM

N/A for all categories. I've watched about an hour of West Brom over the entire season, and have basically lost all interest. Not entirely sure why, but I don't miss it.

Yevrah

31-12-2015, 04:31 PM

Jim's bit on the Chelsea transfers. :D

Did you edit Djilobodji's description on Wikipedia too?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papy_Djilobodji

simon

31-12-2015, 04:39 PM

I'm sure the defeat to Stoke highlighted by Floyd as worst performance of the season was the game Simon claimed was a sign of improvement.

He clearly missed the Southampton game.

mugbull

31-12-2015, 04:42 PM

N/A for all categories. I've watched about an hour of West Brom over the entire season, and have basically lost all interest. Not entirely sure why, but I don't miss it.

I can't think of a PL team i'd enjoy supporting less than West Brom. They've been forgotten in lower mid-table for a while now, never quite in the relegation zone but never remotely relevant either

igor_balis

31-12-2015, 04:43 PM

Well, quite.

mugbull

31-12-2015, 04:46 PM

And Berahino sucks too so

Giggles

31-12-2015, 04:48 PM

And Berahino sucks too so

You might have to change your tune if your lot buy him in January.

mugbull

31-12-2015, 04:51 PM

Fuck off you still support Spurs no matter how hard you try

we won't buy him, but if we did then it would be a huge waste. but we won't, so it's all chill in the ville

Giggles

31-12-2015, 04:53 PM

Fuck off you still support Spurs no matter how hard you try

we won't buy him, but if we did then it would be a huge waste. but we won't, so it's all chill in the ville

I don't think I ever really did.

Spoonsky

31-12-2015, 07:09 PM

My Team is: The Liverpool Liver Birds
Expectations (at start of season): I don't remember. I think I hoped for top four.
View on performance: Up and down but on the whole showing a very encouraging upward trend.
Any other comments: Klopp makes us 10x more fun to support whether we're winning or not.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Brodgers / J. Clopp
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): Rodgers 2, Klopp 4.
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): Obviously wouldn't sack Klopp, but sacking Rodgers (contingent on replacing him with Klopp) was the right move. In fact it was probably the best move the club has made in several years.
Areas they have performed well in: Changing the atmosphere around the club I think. And turning around the performances, the win against Manchester City was the best we've played in years and the wins against Chelsea and Leicester were quite good as well.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: What he did after WBA was pretty lol.
Any other comments:
http://49.media.tumblr.com/e87599d25f75550429f1d6a20b8bd44d/tumblr_mtc80aidMY1rdg4zpo1_400.gif

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 3.5.
Best Result of the season: Beating Leicester. :eyemouth:
Best performance of the season: Beating City.
Worst result of the season: Probably the loss to Watford.
Worst performance of the season: Same as above, though I seemingly have some amnesia about the pre-Klopp part of the season so there might have been something worse in there.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Coutinho
Pleasant surprise of the season: Dejan Lovren giving a man of the match performance against Leicester. Runners-up: I thought Firmino would be total shit and he's only been half-shit, and half-good, so that's nice. Clyne as well has come good very quickly. Origi too is looking good when I thought he was a lost cause.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Coutinho.
Underperformer of the season: James Milner hasn't been nearly the player I thought he would be. It just seems like he fucks up more often than he gets something right. We're doing well enough without him
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Dunno.
Outright worst player of the season: Adam Bogdan.
Any other comments: There are a nice amount of pleasant surprises which is good to see.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Nathaniel Clyne has been the most consistently good.
Worst signing this season: I'm still not convinced Roberto Firmino is worth 29m, and I'm still not convinced that Benteke fits into how we play, but at the moment Firmino is playing decently and Benteke keeps winning us games, so it's hard to be too critical yet.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3
In January I'd like to see us sign: Another striker.
In January I think we'll sign: That Serbian kid.
I'd like to see us sell: If we could somehow con someone into giving us 30m for Sturridge I'd go for it.
I think we'll sell: No idea.
Any other comments: No.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Top four. Which means probably fourth.
What I think we'll achieve: Fourth or fifth, it's too close to call at the moment.

Lee

31-12-2015, 07:13 PM

Something GS put together?

Inattentive fucker.

:D

I pinched it from a thread he started and I think he did confess to stealing it himself. From you, presumably?

Manc

31-12-2015, 07:17 PM

That's you and Boyd now going after Milner. The guy's a machine.

Ian

31-12-2015, 08:40 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Manchester United
Expectations (at start of season): Top four
View on performance: The above may still be on but it's been pretty shit.
Any other comments: Just shit.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Louis van Gaal
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 2
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): Just to put Giggs in charge? Nah. Though I'm absolutely sick of him. I suspect the Glazers want Guardiola so unless the players are actually "revolting" there's not much point getting rid. Though by the same token how much worse is Giggs likely to actually make it? I don't know.
Areas they have performed well in: This year? Not much.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: If he does start to improve things as he did toward the end of last season he'd do well to not pretend it didn't fucking happen and undoing his own work. About the only thing he hasn't actively undone is the improved performances of Chris Smalling so I look forward to him being deployed as a false 9 at some point.
Any other comments: The above is what frustrates me. It's like he doesn't realise when things improve because of a decision he's made.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 3
Best Result of the season: Liverpool I suppose, though it's pretty much by default.
Best performance of the season: I haven't actually seen many of the wins in full. I suppose the Chelsea one the other day would be up there somewhere.
Worst result of the season: Norwich
Worst performance of the season: Arsenal or Stoke.
Any other comments: It's been pretty grim.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Schneiderlin and Smalling have both been pretty good consistently.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Martial. After the fast start he's tailed off a bit goals-wise but even after being inexplicably bumped out wide by van Gaal he's consistently looked lively.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Er...
Underperformer of the season: Depay. He's got talent and when he's been good he's been excellent but there's too much piss and wind, and too much waste when he tries to do too much.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Has to be our glorious captain, I suppose.
Outright worst player of the season: See above. He's been properly awful.
Any other comments: The players need to take more responsibility for

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Schneiderlin, I suppose.
Worst signing this season: The issue isn't with the players we've signed, it's more with the positions which weren't covered and the outgoings.
In January I'd like to see us sign: I'd like us to not spend £40m on some twat we don't need. If we can get some actual full-backs to cover those positions or a striker without doing something stupid I'd be happy.
In January I think we'll sign: £40m will probably be spent on some twat.
I'd like to see us sell: Nobody at this stage. Unless we can con somebody into taking Rooney off us.
I think we'll sell: Nobody.
Any other comments: The management's perverse insistence on being short in at least two positions at any given time is a source of constant frustration.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: There's not really going to be much of an excuse for not getting top four, but......
What I think we'll achieve: ....van Gaal will probably sort shit out too late, if at all, and the players will continue to fail to pull their collective finger out.

Lee

31-12-2015, 08:50 PM

When did United have Kante and Fuchs off us.

Ian

31-12-2015, 09:06 PM

Hah. Yes, I had a bit of a CTRL-A and CTRL-Z cock-up and thought I'd fixed it.

Mellberg

31-12-2015, 10:36 PM

Definitely gonna have to fucking swerve this.

Reg

31-12-2015, 10:43 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Brighton and Hove Albion
Expectations (at start of season): I think I thought we should try and get back on track after last season's mess, and aim for top half.
View on performance: Brilliant and totally unexpected.
Any other comments: The last few matches have been a slight worry, but I'm pretty confident we'll pick up again.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Chris Hughton
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 4.5
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No
Areas they have performed well in: Everything, but if I had to pick a couple of things I'd say coaching the new system so impressively, and building a squad that almost perfectly fits it.
Any other comments: I think on the hole last season our fans weren't too over the moon with how he did in the 5 months after taking over from Hyypia. But he's been excellent this season.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 4.5
Best Result of the season: Taking into account the fact that we'd gone two goals down in the first 5 minutes, probably the 3-2 win vs Charlton.
Best performance of the season: I haven't seen as many games as I'd like, but I thought we were very good against QPR; a masterclass from Austin meant we only drew.
Worst result of the season: I suppose on the face of it, going out to Walsall in the League Cup, but we rotated heavily so I'll say drawing to Bolton given that they're bottom.
Worst performance of the season: Boro were very good, but in truth we did nothing in the 0-3 loss.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Kayal/Stephens.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Stockdale - I really wasn't convinced last season and was hoping we'd sign a new no.1 keeper. March also really stepped up and I think he could be a very good player, but an injury has written off the rest of his season.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Bobby Zamora.
Underperformer of the season: Maybe Dunk, but it would be harsh.
Outright worst player of the season: N/A.
Any other comments: Calde's getting on and it means he can't cover the flank like our other fullbacks can. He's such a likeable guy and I hope he sticks around in some role or another after he retires.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Zamora for what it means to the club and for his winners.
Worst signing this season: None of them have been bad.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): Would be 4, Zamora bumps it up to a 5.
In January I'd like to see us sign: Liam Ridgewell has just arrived so there's the important left-back position sorted. A winger would be good due to March's injury.
In January I think we'll sign: I don't know, but Bloom has said we'll spend. Fans have guessed he has agreements in place already, as it's not like him to show his hand.
I'd like to see us sell: Nobody.
I think we'll sell: Nobody.
Any other comments: Very mpressed by the transfers since Hughton came in and the transfer team was reshuffled. It always seems like we have options ready whatever the circumstances.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

What I think we'll achieve: Top six. Another playoff loss would be gutting, but it wouldn't override what fun this season has been.

Giggles

31-12-2015, 10:51 PM

I'll need to follow your lot for the rest of the season. On a personal level, I'll be fascinated to see if Towell can make an impact in any form.

Reg

31-12-2015, 10:56 PM

I'll need to follow your lot for the rest of the season. On a personal level, I'll be fascinated to see if Towell can make an impact in any form.
That was an unexpected one as we're well stocked in centre-mid. He's well thought of from what I've read?

Giggles

31-12-2015, 11:00 PM

That was an unexpected one as we're well stocked in centre-mid. He's well thought of from what I've read?

He is over here anyway. I think that's the main reason for the interest, as he's been the most publicised player from the league ever (while still being in the league). Though the publicity was well deserved, he's been fantastic here for the past couple of seasons. Easily the best natural player, along with Chris Forrester, I've seen in the flesh here since Wes Hoolahan.

Reg

31-12-2015, 11:06 PM

That sounds very promising, it's a pity in a way that he plays the position he does, but Hughton has been going with 5 in midfield some more so maybe he'll see decent game time.

Giggles

31-12-2015, 11:12 PM

He's fairly deep lying, even though to look at the goal scoring record last season (27 in 38) you'd think he was just off the strikers.
Not without confidence too. Fully believes by the time this half season with Brighton is over he'll be on the plane to France :D

Shindig

01-01-2016, 12:05 AM

My Team is:Newcastle United
Expectations (at start of season): Lower midtable.
View on performance: Less than expected. Not by much, though.
Any other comments: We've struggled for years so those players can only carry so much confidence.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Steve McClaren
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 3
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): Nope. The ship has been faltering for a couple of seasons. At some point no manager can nurse it.
Areas they have performed well in: He can organise them well against the bigger clubs. Its a shame the fellow strugglers can't be toppled as well. He's a willingness to change in order to try and break the malaise and he's still better than Carver.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: Erm... just... gan for it, man. Swing for the fences.
Any other comments: Believe in Shhteve.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 2.5
Best Result of the season:The Spurs & Liverpool wins.
Best performance of the season: As above. Although I enjoyed the Chelsea draw. When they keep their heads screwed on for 90 minutes, they can live up to it.
Worst result of the season: City 6-1 reverse. When we collapse, it's depressing and the squad really loses focus and 'character' when they ship goals so quickly.
Worst performance of the season: Palace 1-5. As above, really.
Any other comments: Chin up. Focus and you'll come through this... again.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season:Gigi Wijnaldum. Just streets ahead in terms of incision and goals.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Not a sausage. I guess Mitrovic's sorting his discipline out.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Sissoko? If there's a counter on, he's usually keeping pace with Wijnaldum.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Thauvin. We've been trying to replace Cabaye and we need to accept that you just can't.
Outright worst player of the season: Mike Williamson. Loaned out. Called back. Injured and now permanently flogged to Wolves.
Any other comments: I think Cisse's ran his course.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season:Georginio Wijnaldum
Worst signing this season: Thauvin. He could settle but I just see him as bench fodder at the minute.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3
In January I'd like to see us sign: I dunno. We need some glue or someone to instill confidence in that dressing room. Keeper cover.
In January I think we'll sign: Nobody.
I'd like to see us sell: Nobody
I think we'll sell: Williamson's already away. That's probably that unless Marveuax or Obertan get offers.
Any other comments: We've bought okay but the squad's still thin. Ashley's arguably spent his wad in the summer so this will just be a cheap window.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: Narrow escape or deserved drop.
What I think we'll achieve: Narrow escape.

Kikó

01-01-2016, 09:27 AM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Man U
Expectations (at start of season): top 4
View on performance: Dreadful. Incredibly boring which is not too surprising as it was dreadfully shite last year as well.
Any other comments: The club is rotten to the core. Parasital owners running the club with no interest in future planning other than securing the next flavoured condom sponsor in Russia. Then we have an incompetent CEO who is excellent at getting new sponsors but is a sniveling coward who consistently embarrasses himself and the club c.f. the recent approach to Mendes for Mourinho and constant willy waving at players edging for a new contract. We've had nobody heading up the academy since Mclair left and we've been left behind by other clubs like city who have invested and probably have the best academy in the country.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: van Gaal
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 2
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): Yes.
Areas they have performed well in: Hard to name something here, the season has been grim. The only decent aspect was keeping De Gea.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: Terrible recruitment in the summer has lead to a team as threatening as a plastic fork. We have a Sunday league forward playing up front and reliant on a kid to get the goals. Beyond that we shipped out all the decent forwards we had. It's a completely unbalanced team not helped by limited tactics and playing that Belgian twat in centre midfield.
Any other comments: Nope.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 0.1
Best Result of the season: The 3-0 v Everton probably. I can barely remember it.
Worst result of the season: The 0-0 v PSV was dreadful. A victory was needed and the fraud in charge set us up to not lose. This was a bang average team and we shit the bed.
Any other comments: tactics are awful and setting us up for these dreary sideway passathons. The players have pretty much regressed across the park.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Probably Mike Smalling. He's slightly less retarded this year.
Pleasant surprise of the season: That Fellaini still gets a game. Oh this said pleasant and not the "Constant flaming turd of the season".
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: We've had nobody step up really in any big game. Mike Smalling wins again.
Underperformer of the season: Memphis fucking Depay. What an undoubtable cunt this guy is. Thinks he's made it but he's just awful. Nani-lite is a shameful moniker as he has none of Nani's qualities, no exceptional pace or skill.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Wayne Rooney. And he's going to pass Denis Law soon in goals. What a travesty.
Outright worst player of the season: Fellaini. Never has a man been so far out of his depth for so long.
Any other comments:

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Martial
Worst signing this season: Depay. Depay was to fail.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3
In January I'd like to see us sign: Desperately need a forward or two. Need a dynamic midfielder and winger. Need a left back and a centre back.
In January I think we'll sign: Henrik Larsson. It's interesting to see if the manager is backed. If he is then it looks like he's seeing out the season and we're going balls deep for "Pep".
I'd like to see us sell: Fellaini.
I think we'll sell: nobody.
Any other comments:

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: 6th or 7th from here, which would take an improvement on current form.
What I think we'll achieve: 9th

Mellberg

01-01-2016, 01:54 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Aston Villa
Expectations (at start of season): 17th
View on performance: Arguably the worst team in Premier League history. Not best impressed tbh.
Any other comments: Can't score, can't defend. Squad full of dross. Poorly run for a decade and finally we're going to pay for it.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Remi Garde
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 2
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No, might as well stand by him until next season. None of this is his fault (barring his Norwich team selection, which was appalling).
Areas they have performed well in: He's brought what shape he can to this brainless pack of twats.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: time to start gambling with the likes of Grealish and Traore from the start, as we're not winning games and might as well go down swinging.
Any other comments: Tim Sherwood's 'charisma' meant he blagged us to safety last season and actually had us playing some very good stuff for two months. Then he was exposed for the tactically deficient classless moron he was and now it's game over. Robbed the side of fitness and confidence and failed to utilise our best players (who are those signed in the summer that he didn't want). Complete prat. Hope he gets a job at Birmingham.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 1 (generous)
Best performance of the season: On account of it being our only win, the 1-0 against Bournemouth on the opening day. And we were shit.
Worst result of the season: Fucking hell. Take your pick. In terms of importance it's the 3-2 against Leicester. Before that we actually looked capable of winning games. We played very well for 60 minutes and scored two lovely goals, then Tim, again showing the kind of acumen which sets him apart, decided to go 442 away from home whilst 2-0 up to a notorious counter attacking side. We lost 3-2. Well done, mate. Since that game we've been a complete rabble.
Worst performance of the season: Probably Norwich. I've managed to rationalise how shit we are over the last 5 years, and there have been so many shit results I've managed to distance myself emotionally, but the rage I felt at the impotence of that performance can't be put into words. Instead of being 6 points adrift we are now 11. Just shocking and it's practically buried us.
Any other comments: 19 games. One win. More disgusting than the viral of a similar name.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Jordan Ayew. Fights for everything, gives a fuck, has ability. Haven't heard much talk of us signing the shit brother for a while. Will be off when we're relegated.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Pleasant? Been nothing pleasant about it. Has to be Ayew again.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Ayew
Underperformer of the season: Excluding those who are just shit, every single fucker barring Ayew, Veretout and Amavi aka Tim's mates.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Gabby Agbonlahor. Thanks for the good times, now fucking off you waster. Happy to sit on the sidelines putting on weight and picking up 60kpw. Captain. Hilarious. Special mention to Charles N'Zogbia.
Outright worst player of the season: Hutton. Costs us a goal every week. Will cut him some slack because at least he tries. Also Clark. And Gestede. And Agbonlahor. And N'Zogbia. And Bacuna. And Guzan. I'm going to stop there, but could go on.
Any other comments: Can't score, can't defend. Back line of Richards, Okore, Lescott, Cissokho might have some joy, but we desperately need a striker.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Ayew
Worst signing this season: Few weeks back I would've said Lescott, but he's improved and may have been struggling because of those around him, so Gestede. This is what happens when you replace our best striker since Yorke with Championship players.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 3 (the damage was done in previous windows)
In January I'd like to see us sign: Absolutely pointless. Loans as there's no point putting a load more chancers on the wage bill.
In January I think we'll sign: Nobody of sufficient quality will be signing for us. Ashley Cole if he still has anything left about him. And a striker on loan.
I'd like to see us sell: Pretty much everyone and I'll have a kick about.
I think we'll sell: Gabby if there's a buyer. Doubt there will be. He's poison.
Any other comments: Shit.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: To claw back an inkling of respectability.
What I think we'll achieve: We'll continue to embarrass ourselves. We'd built up some slight momentum, in the form of fucking draws, before Norwich. That has been obliterated. Ayew suspended for Sunderland. We're gone and it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Football, fucking hell.

John

01-01-2016, 02:06 PM

Gestede is a laugh. One of the Football Weekly bods was saying at the start of the season that he might be the best header of a ball in world football and that Villa should be looking at fifteen goals out of him this season.

Mellberg

01-01-2016, 02:19 PM

His header against Liverpool was insane, but it's the only thing he can do, although he's missed some good chances over the last few weeks, so not even doing that well. He's fucking lazy, too. If you're shit at least put some graft in ffs.

Davgooner

01-01-2016, 02:37 PM

Get Heskey in.

Jimmy Floyd

01-01-2016, 02:55 PM

It will get a lot worse before it gets better. This time next season you'll just have lost 4-1 at home to Rotherham and signed Matt Smith on loan for his 'aerial threat' by your recently appointed third manager of the season, 'Mad Dog' Martin Allen.

Giggles

01-01-2016, 02:57 PM

Some clubs you could say a relegation might be good for them in the long run, but Villa are one that you'd fear may never come back.

Smiffy

01-01-2016, 03:22 PM

.....

Manc

01-01-2016, 03:43 PM

Without Benteke's goals this season Pool would be 13th.

Bob Sacamano

01-01-2016, 03:47 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is:Leeds United
Expectations (at start of season): Playoffs
View on performance: Just under par.
Any other comments: Steve Evans is a hero.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Steve Evans
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 4
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No
Areas they have performed well in:He actually seems to know what he's doing, makes the right changes when necessary, seems to have fixed Silvestri's confidence, bought players back from the shit heap (Doukara, Wooton) just performed well in every aspect.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: I'd like to see Antenucci involved more, the guy is quality, deserves more minutes. Just bin Murphy
Any other comments: Very impressed, though when he was appointed I and 99% of other Leeds fans had zero expectations.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 2.5
Best Result of the season: 3-0 away to Huddersfield
Best performance of the season: Probably the 3-2 away to Wolves, they've always been a bit of a bogey side, so to come back from a goal down and then to hang on at the end was very un-leeds like.
Worst result of the season: Losing to Rotherham 1-0 at home.
Worst performance of the season: 2-0 home to Blackburn, 2 down inside 5 minutes!?

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Stuart Dallas
Pleasant surprise of the season: Berardi
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Errr......Bridcutt?
Underperformer of the season: Murphy, Wood.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Bellsuci
Outright worst player of the season: Bellusci, a walking disaster.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Dallas
Worst signing this season: Jordan Botaka, what was the point?
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5):2
In January I'd like to see us sign: Just a left footed wide player would be nice
In January I think we'll sign: No clue, hopefully Bridcutt
I'd like to see us sell: Nobody
I think we'll sell: Byram

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: After an unbeaten December I'm quietly confident we can maybe make a slow crawl up the table, so in reality we'll finish mid table.
What I think we'll achieve: 14th

Smiffy

01-01-2016, 03:57 PM

.....

Manc

01-01-2016, 04:48 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is: Liverpool
Expectations (at start of season): Top 6.
View on performance: Neither here nor there.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Jurgen Klopp
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 2.5
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No.
Areas they have performed well in: "Feel good factor". I hate the term, but he's brought it just by being a normal person who's comfortable in his own skin.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: Has a habit of picking the wrong starting eleven.
Any other comments: Giving it bifters.

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 9.6
Best Result of the season: West Brom. I missed the game, but the celebrations post match spoke volumes.
Best performance of the season: The cup game against Saints. 6 goals and we were second best. Lol.
Worst result of the season: Newcastle. You could see the goals coming.
Worst performance of the season: the majority of October.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Clyne, Clyne and Clyne. Perhaps years of watching Johnson failing to beat his man and lounging around in the wrong half of the pitch has skewed my view, but the lads top.
Pleasant surprise of the season: Moreno. Has the pace to rescue most mistakes in that back line.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Little Phil.
Underperformer of the season: Lallana. England's answer to Iniesta, but it just hasn't happened this year.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Shelvey.
Outright worst player of the season: Sturridge. Get rid.
Any other comments: A nod to Joe Allen. He'll probably win us the Europa league.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Milner.
Worst signing this season: Firmino. Definitely not worth the money.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 5
In January I'd like to see us sign: Gerrard.
In January I think we'll sign: Another crock.
I'd like to see us sell: Sturridge.
I think we'll sell: Anfield.
Any other comments: Henderson will be like a new signing.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: What are expectations?
What I think we'll achieve: Silverware.

Mellberg

01-01-2016, 05:22 PM

No matter how shite we've been, we still beat Birmingham who were in the top 2 or 3 in the Championship at the time. So long as it's properly managed (lol), we should do okay. There is potential for serious disaster though.

ScousePig

01-01-2016, 11:57 PM

OVERVIEW:

My Team is:Sunderland
Expectations (at start of season): Avoid relegation.
View on performance: Typical.
Any other comments: Fuck off Sunderland.

MANAGER

My Team's Manager is: Big Sam Allardyce
I'd rate their performance as (x out of 5): 3
If I were in charge I'd sack them now (Yes/No): No.
Areas they have performed well in: Got us a few wins and generally improved the shambles we had become (or continued to be) under Advocaat. He seems a lot more proactive than previous managers in that he's happy to try different formations and also quick to change it when it's not going well. I feel like he knows what he's doing, and if anyone can sort us (realistically) it's him.
Areas they need to pull their fucking finger out in: Needs to sort the shambolic defence out, in the form of personnel.
Any other comments:

TEAM PERFORMANCE:

Rate your team's performance (x out of 5): 1.5
Best Result of the season: Trying to think who we've beat. Palace away was a good smash and grab, but our customary 3-0 beating of the mags will have to take it.
Best performance of the season: That'd be Palace as they were flying and we nullified them, then caught them out. Against Newcastle they were the better side for 45 minutes until Collocini got sent off.
Worst result of the season: Take your pick as usual. 6-2 at Everton was horrendous defensively, we could have shipped 10. But we looked good going forward. We've been a bit unlucky with a few of our defeats under Sam so it'll be an early one if not Everton. 3-1 at home to fucking Norwich.
Worst performance of the season: One of the early ones. Norwich.
Any other comments: Fuck off Sunderland.

PLAYER PERFORMANCE:

Overall player of the season: Yann M'Vila. Hands down our best player and far too good for us.
Pleasant surprise of the season: I'll say Defoe because I wasn't sure he still had it, but he's doing well.
The Didier Drogba award for big game player of the season: Adam Johnson is still a bit of a talisman. Often when we have a big win he's very influential. Other times he's genuinely terrible.
Underperformer of the season: Jack Rodwell. Yes he keeps getting injured but he just doesn't offer enough. I'm more patient with him than most mind, who just think he's garbage.
The "I fucking knew he was shit and he's proven me right" player of the season: Patrick Van Aaanholt, who simply cannot defend. I mean, he actually doesn't know how.
Outright worst player of the season: PvA.
Any other comments: Fuck off Sunderland.

TRANSFER PERFORMANCE:

Best signing this season: Loanee is obviously M'Vila. None of the permanents have shone.
Worst signing this season: Jeremain Lens. He's got some talent but he's lazy, thick and probably overweight and unfit. Seems to have an attitude problem that Sam hasn't taken kindly too.
Overall I'd rate our signings this season as (x out of 5): 2. Yedlin, another loanee has looked okay in patches. Coates is okay (I rate him more than most), Borini is showing glimpses after a slow start, Kaboul has a couple of stormers then a mare, and Lens I've mentioned.
In January I'd like to see us sign: Centre backs are essential as O'Shea, Coates, Kaboul and Brown are either crocked or not up to it anymore. A left back to replace PvA would be nice. Just sort the defence out.
In January I think we'll sign: A few defenders, perhaps an attacker.
I'd like to see us sell: Will Buckley, Liam Bridcutt (regretfully - it's just not going to happen for him here it seems), Danny Graham, and Jordi Gomez & Ola Toivonen aren't bringing anything to the party.
I think we'll sell: Buckley and Bridcutt are most likely.
Any other comments: Fuck.Off.Sunderland.

END OF SEASON PREDICTIONS

My expectations: I expect us to be relegated. We've been forced into a change much earlier this season rather than Easter time where we can have that extra push, so we need to sort it out now if we're to have a chance.
What I think we'll achieve: We'll either sink to the bottom meagerly and everyone will forget we're even in the league by March, or we'll put up a fight and be there or thereabouts (fourth bottom) at the end. I think we're goners this time.