Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I'm one for trying anything once, but I can't imagine liking the texture of oysters.

[Lewis]

'And that was how I got thrown out of Momentum.'

[Boydy]

'And that was how I got thrown out of Momentum.'

:D

The Absolute Boy was just a lowly backbencher no one had heard of back then.

[Ian]

https://www.pieandbrew.co.uk/

Well I'll be trying this place out.

[randomlegend]

http://www.greatbritishchefs.com/

This has been my go to place to recipes for a while now, it's really good (aside from the odd mistake).

Those pies look nice, but they appear to have served a cocktail in an old baked bean tin which is a bit upsetting.

[Giggles]

What are neeps?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Turnips.

[Lewis]

I went to 'Casa Brasil' yesterday, and the Pizza Hut buffet can go and fuck itself.

[Pepe]

Brazilian free for alls. :drool:

[Giggles]

I got a takaway burger tonight that was insanely massive. Not one of those stupid American type ones that are stacked with onion rings and all that are just impossible to eat tall, it was just burger, cheese, and fried onions but it was 8" wide and 4" high. Bun was basically a loaf.

[Ian]

I've still never been to one of these Brazilian places which is a shambles given how much they seem like my sort of thing.

[wullie]

There's one in Birmingham, it's amazing. They have a salad bar there though which I really didn't understand.

https://www.rodiziorico.com/

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah the key to those places is do not eat the sides and absolutely under no circumstances touch the salad bar.

Chips and the like are just absolute window dressing that waste valuable stomach space.

[SvN]

There was one in Southampton that shut down. I went a few times and experiences ranged from amazing to fucking frustrating.

The problem was the staff. EVERY TIME they brought meat out, they'd take it to the tables nearest the kitchen first, and move table to table through the restaurant. On the last occasion we visited, we were seated at a table as far away as you could get from the kitchen, so there were 5 or 6 times in a row where it ran out before it got to us. We ended up walking out and refused to pay after sitting there for 40 minutes and eating a few bits of salad while we waited for meat. It shut down about a month later.

[wullie]

I never thought I'd eat little chicken hearts in my life, but eventually you get to a point where a man's wandering towards you with a load of them on a skewer and you no longer have the energy to flip your card over.

[Lewis]

There was one in Southampton that shut down. I went a few times and experiences ranged from amazing to fucking frustrating.

The problem was the staff. EVERY TIME they brought meat out, they'd take it to the tables nearest the kitchen first, and move table to table through the restaurant. On the last occasion we visited, we were seated at a table as far away as you could get from the kitchen, so there were 5 or 6 times in a row where it ran out before it got to us. We ended up walking out and refused to pay after sitting there for 40 minutes and eating a few bits of salad while we waited for meat. It shut down about a month later.

I wondered how they cover everything during busier periods (especially when the price doubles or something at night). We went at about half-three, and I think there was one other table, so the meat was coming over every few minutes.

'Would you like some cinnamon pineapple?'
'Mate.'

[-james-]

https://www.pieandbrew.co.uk/

Well I'll be trying this place out.

Have you been to Inn Deep since it's been done up? It's brilliant, you'll love it.

[Baz]

I ate nine drumstick lollies in about twenty minutes last night.

[Giggles]

I ate nine drumstick lollies in about twenty minutes last night.

I cleaned a bag of Heroes. Even the Crunchies.

[Spikey M]

“Even the Crunchies”.

[Disco]

I could accept Bounties or Snickers but surely no-one really hates the Crunchie?

[Giggles]

They're not great. Especially when you've flakes, chomps, and twirls among the rest.

And hating Snickers? What?

[Foe]

I ate nine drumstick lollies in about twenty minutes last night.

Optimise your consumption in squashie form.

I could eat a bag in about 20 seconds if I put my mind to it.

[Ian]

Have you been to Inn Deep since it's been done up? It's brilliant, you'll love it.

Inn Deep has been done up? It's way out of the way for anywhere I normally go but it has, without any sort of competition, the best sunshine seating that I've encountered in Glasgow. IF you can get a seat out on the river.

I wish it was more convenient. Quite aside from it having an excellent choice it's just a nice place to have a drink.

[-james-]

Inn Deep has been done up? It's way out of the way for anywhere I normally go but it has, without any sort of competition, the best sunshine seating that I've encountered in Glasgow. IF you can get a seat out on the river.

I wish it was more convenient. Quite aside from it having an excellent choice it's just a nice place to have a drink.

They've expanded the indoor bit into a second arch and they now have about 20 beers on tap. It is pretty great on a sunny day but as you say you do have to head down at about 7am if you want a seat.

[niko_cee]

Just got a tube of Pigs in Blankets Pringles.

They are awesome.

[Magic]

Heroes is basically a bag/tub of the worst sweets ever to walk the earth.

[Spikey M]

They are easily the worst of the chocolate tin world.

[Baz]

Just got a tube of Pigs in Blankets Pringles.

They are awesome.Prongles is where it’s at.

933083620599783430

[Jimmy Floyd]

I lolled at about six different things in that picture before I even realised they were marketing a crisp flavour as 'salt and potato'.

[phonics]

Once you pop... That's great is a truly incredible piece of copyright infringing copy writing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/611BWPdjmXL.jpg

These are delicious. They're spicy but nothing mega so I don't understand why some on Youtube made them a challenge. I think it's actually a nice spice level and has so much flavour.

The noodles are a lot thicker than your standard shit too which is nice.

[Magic]

Once you pop... That's great is a truly incredible piece of copyright infringing copy writing.

http://www.mccartie.com/assets/office-space-lumbergh.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

These are delicious. They're spicy but nothing mega so I don't understand why some on Youtube made them a challenge. I think it's actually a nice spice level and has so much flavour.

The noodles are a lot thicker than your standard shit too which is nice.
Koreans are convinced all their food is the hottest going, whereas in fact none of it is.

Also don't become a K-phile, that way lies madness.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Koreans are convinced all their food is the hottest going, whereas in fact none of it is.

Also don't become a K-phile, that way lies madness.
The Koreans (I don't think) made this a challenge though but yeah they do seem to think that their food in general is spicier than it is. I do feel that their spice is also a bit easier to handle because they seem to be good at getting proper flavour into it rather than being just hot.

[wullie]

I wish they did those chocolate mint Pringles again, with salted caramel now being everywhere they were way ahead of their time.

[Giggles]

Heroes are the best you fools. Only one that doesn't have a shit one in it. Maybe Celebrations but the chocolate on those isn't up to scratch.

[Lewis]

Heroes are easily the best bet. Celebrations have got Snickers (shit) and Bounties (could eat if starving) letting the side down, and you could easily lose the Milky Ways as well. The less said about Roses and Quality Street the better. Once some arsehole has had all of the good ones out of them you might as well punt the remaining sixty per cent into the bin.

[phonics]

Yeah but the good ones are really fucking good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The thing about Bounty is I've never met anyone who likes it, and yet it must do good numbers or they wouldn't bother making it.

I can deduce therefore that the people who like Bounty and do its numbers are attractive women in the 20-45 range.

[Boydy]

Snickers is shit? Give your head a wobble.

[Giggles]

Snickers is shit? Give your head a wobble.

Normal ones are good but those small ones in Celebrations aren't right.

[Lewis]

With the exception of Toblerones (in which you can barely taste them), I don't like nuts in sweet things.

[randomlegend]

I like Bounties.

[John]

The best boxes of chocolates are the seasonal Thorntons ones and Lindor, but of the pleb boxes Heroes are comfortable winners.

[Magic]

With the exception of Toblerones (in which you can barely taste them), I don't like nuts in sweet things.

Mental. Nuts and chocolate are the dream.

[Magic]

I like Bounties.

Of course you do.

[Magic]

The best boxes of chocolates are the seasonal Thorntons ones and Lindor, but of the pleb boxes Heroes are comfortable winners.

Lindts are disgusting.

[Lewis]

Lindts are better, but if you were going to sit and do them all in in one sitting I think the variety in a Heroes would appeal.

[John]

Lindts are better, but if you were going to sit and do them all in in one sitting I think the variety in a Heroes would appeal.

If you're planning to biff the lot in one go I think a better plan would appeal.

[randomlegend]

Thorntons chocolates are absolute shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lindts are quality but you can't smash a whole box in a single sitting, far too sickly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fun fact: in my current job with the Koreans, I replaced someone who had gone off to do the same thing for Lindt. He has been promoted twice since and now drowns daily in free chocolate.

I on the other hand am considering whether to go to interview with a stairlift company.

[phonics]

Lindt has the consistency of dog shit and the taste isn't far off.

[Spikey M]

I had I thought Giggles was off his rocker.

[Disco]

The thing about Bounty is I've never met anyone who likes it, and yet it must do good numbers or they wouldn't bother making it.

I can deduce therefore that the people who like Bounty and do its numbers are attractive women in the 20-45 range.

:D

I can confirm that the only person I know who likes them enough to buy them falls squarely into this bracket.

[Spikey M]

RL is going to be seething when he sees he’s missed a chocolate orgy.

[randomlegend]

???

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He only eats 72%-85% chocolate flavoured by Colombian tears.

[randomlegend]

http://www.chocolatetradingco.com/buy/porcelana-70-dark-chocolate-bar

70% and Venezualan tears and you've got yourself a deal :drool:

[Magic]

Lindt has the consistency of dog shit and the taste isn't far off.

This, it's for cunts like John who think they are above Roses but don't have the palate to pull off Green & Blacks.

[Baz]

What’re those minty ones? Mingles? I used to destroy a box of those in about 20 mins around Christmas when I was at my mum and dads. :drool:

[Spikey M]

This, it's for cunts like John who think they are above Roses but don't have the palate to pull off Green & Blacks.

Palate :D

It’s a bit of chocolate, m8.

[Magic]

What were those things, Twiglets? Still never had one. Look utterly intriguing. Like chocolate nik naks.

[John]

This, it's for cunts like John who think they are above Roses but don't have the palate to pull off Green & Blacks.

Alright, Hyacinth. Your points of reference will always give you away.

[SvN]

I haven't had twiglets since I was about 12. I loved them, only ever had them at christmas.

[Magic]

Jesus Christ I thought they were like After Eights. :D

[randomlegend]

http://www.akessons-organic.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/33.jpg

http://www.akessons-organic.com/collections/

That stuff is banging as well.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Thorntons chocolates are absolute shit.
Wrong.


Lindts are quality but you can't smash a whole box in a single sitting, far too sickly.
Wrong again, although I do have a mega sweet tooth so perhaps I'm an exception.



Lindt has the consistency of dog shit and the taste isn't far off.

Quite possibly the worst opinion I've seen on this forum.

But then again, I do enjoy a bounty.

[phonics]

You lot are talking about Matchsticks surely? Twiglets are the crisps that taste a bit like marmite.

[Magic]

Ah yeah that's it.

[Giggles]

Magic not liking Heroes and Lindt just confirms him as the pervert we all know he is.

[Disco]

Magic and his middle class aspirations have taken a hammering here, Matchsticks are part of curtain twitching 101.

[Spikey M]

You can take the boy out of Dundee...

[Magic]

Terry Chocolate orange mini flavours are my sweet of choice for my guests.

[Adamski]

http://i66.tinypic.com/avloqh.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:sick:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Magic would last about the same amount of time in Surrey suburbia that I would in Dundee, let's get the switch done.

[Spikey M]

http://i66.tinypic.com/avloqh.jpg

That looks disgusting and I would eat every last fucking bit of it :drool:

[John]

Salt and pepper box, Adam? :drool:

[igor_balis]

Sleep deprivation always makes me crave carby greasy food so after staying up for the ashes that photo is well giving me a stiffy.

[Spikey M]

What actually is it? I can see multiple varieties of potatoe, fried vegetables and onion rings with what looks like both curry sauce and gravy.

[Giggles]

Munchie box :drool:

[Adamski]

Salt and chilli munchiebox :drool:

Chips, onion rings, chicken balls, chicken pieces, spare ribs, spring rolls, chicken wings. Curry sauce and sweet and sour sauce.

Moving house tomorrow so wanted to end on a high (and the kitchen is packed) :drool: :drool:

[Spikey M]

I’m moving to Scotland.

[Ian]

But then again, I do enjoy a bounty.

Can Jimmy have your number?

[Giggles]

I'm ordering a munchie box right now.

[Spikey M]

Post a picture. We need to know which country does this filth best.

This stuff seems right up DS’ street. I bet Manchester does a good Munchie Box. I’ve never seen one down here. Gap in the market.

[Ian]

There really isn't anything better than a munchy box when you stagger home drunk. Especially if they give you a bread big enough that you can put together some unholy kebab filled with donner, chips, pakora, etc. and whatever dodgy sauce they happen to give you.

Salt and chilli is the best though.

[Giggles]

Post a picture. We need to know which country does this filth best.

This stuff seems right up DS’ street. I bet Manchester does a good Munchie Box. I’ve never seen one down here. Gap in the market.

50 minutes delivery, they can piss off. Tomorrow.

Be hard to beat the one above though. No onion rings and one sauce.

[Disco]

You'd want most of that stuff to be nice and crispy but you know it's going to be all wobbly and horrible after five minutes.

[Adamski]

50 minutes delivery, they can piss off. Tomorrow.

Be hard to beat the one above though. No onion rings and one sauce.

£15 worth of absolute heaven :drool:

[igor_balis]

You'd want most of that stuff to be nice and crispy but you know it's going to be all wobbly and horrible after five minutes.

i wouldn't mind a taste of adamski's wobbly batter

[niko_cee]

The day finally came when the Savoursmiths Wagyu Beef & Honey Mustard (http://savoursmiths.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Savoursmiths_Wagyu_Beef_Honey_Mustard_new.png) crisps were on offer and let me tell you, after the sad demise of the Tyrrell's Beef and Horseradish flavour these badboys are the new heirs apparent to the Brannigans Beef and Mustard crown of old (do they still make Branigans?). Amazon says so, but you pay through the nose for them it would seem.

[John]

Crap little corner shops still do Brannigans. Those and Toffypops.

[Spikey M]

You can get a 6 pack in the pound shop (you could about a year ago anyway, my whole office were in them).

[Disco]

It's strangely pleasing that someone is three layers deep on a search for a Brannigans replacement. Next job is Hedgehog Crisps.

[Lewis]

Heron has Brannigans, and now, thanks to its tie-up with the quite excellent B&M, it sells random shite like lava lamps.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Until 'lava lamps' I'd never heard of anything in that sentence.

[Ian]

Are Panda Pops a thing?

The UK's answer to the quite execrable Thums Up.

[Disco]

Panda Pops were always the neon coloured drinks we were never allowed, as such they attained a lofty position in my mind that I'm sure would be destroyed if I had ever tasted any.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They were pretty much the only drink sold at our secondary school for a bit.

We then got an actual drinks machine with Coca Cola products. I don't think anyone bought another bottle after that, people were more interested in trying to find the optimal mixed drink.

[Lewis]

Until 'lava lamps' I'd never heard of anything in that sentence.

Who was it who called you 'sheltered' that time? Was it Dr Barry or Senior 'Owen Jones' Guvnor?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who was it who called you 'sheltered' that time? Was it Dr Barry or Senior 'Owen Jones' Guvnor?

It was Dr Barry, and what he meant was I hadn't grown up in abject poverty in the north.

SeniorGuvnor was probably even more 'sheltered' than me. He was from Camberley or somewhere.

[Spikey M]

Chinese on the way. I’m absolutely famished.

[hfswjyr]

The day finally came when the Savoursmiths Wagyu Beef & Honey Mustard (http://savoursmiths.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Savoursmiths_Wagyu_Beef_Honey_Mustard_new.png) crisps were on offer and let me tell you, after the sad demise of the Tyrrell's Beef and Horseradish flavour these badboys are the new heirs apparent to the Brannigans Beef and Mustard crown of old (do they still make Branigans?). Amazon says so, but you pay through the nose for them it would seem.

Wagyu Beef flavoured crisps? That's bizarrely specific.

[Giggles]

Wagyu Beef flavoured crisps? That's bizarrely specific.

Presumably it comes out of the generic bag of beef flavour. The same as all the combinations of cheese/cheddar/extra mature/spring onion/shallot/etc are all just cheese and onion in a fancy bag.

[Lewis]

I've never had any of that deviant Japanese fatty beef. Is it as gross as it looks?

[niko_cee]

It's good (although probably not worth the premium, as with most things).

I don't think there's any in the crisps. It's mostly the half ton of mustard they appear to drop in the bag which makes them a winner.

[Lewis]

I meant to plus one the pigs in blankets Pringles the other day. I think all they have done is go overboard on the smokey bacon flavouring, but crisps should have more flavour dust on them anyway so it works.

[hfswjyr]

I had Kobe beef in Japan and it was ridiculously nice. Just really really tender beef. At the price it was, don't think anyone is grinding it down to make crisps flavouring.
https://i.imgur.com/FmuWAsu.jpg

[Kikó]

Went to a Michelin star pub last night called The Sports man and it was brilliant - https://imgur.com/a/rZC2J

The fish was incredible - fresh and well seasoned. The others for ox cheek for the main which was perfectly cooked, no need to even use a knife.

[Giggles]

Michelin star pub? I'd say it's the furthest thing from a pub.

[Kikó]

It was an actual pub - you can get a beer on draft. It just cooks the best of its type so has a star. Top food.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've said some very unpleasant things about Five Guys before, but while breaking up Christmas shopping earlier I had a set of their cajun fries, and grilled onions on the burger, and suddenly it all made sense.

Also important is not to have a 'shake' like you're eleven years old.

[Ian]

Five Guys food is thoroughly decent, it's just hilariously overpriced.

[Spikey M]

It’s a burger and chips. It’s hard to get it wrong and even harder to explain why scrunching it up in foil triples it’s value.

[Lewis]

I wouldn't go as far as 'hilariously' over-priced. Maybe a couple of quid too much once you've got the chips and the drink; but then you have to consider that you get a good amount of chips, which nobody has ever said in relation to a pub/restaurant burger, and you also don't get it on a board held together with a stick.

[Giggles]

My local gives you that big a portion of chips with a burger that you can't drink after them and have to go home.

[Dark Soldier]

New kebab place,. Shish, chicken, red donner meat. Instantly become my new favourite :drool:

https://i.imgur.com/sC7cxSt.jpg

[Kikó]

Christ :eek:

[Giggles]

Looks like roadkill.

:drool: :drool: :drool:

[John]

It does look worth getting excited over but did you have to spunk on it?

There's a new Indian takeaway currently under construction literally twenty seconds walk from my house. If it's any good it's likely I'll be nineteen stone within a month of it opening.

[Adamski]

:drool:

Never seen red donner before, what’s the difference?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's red.

[niko_cee]

:D

Was also going to query 'red doner meat'.

[Giggles]

Is it cured? Like in the same way corned beef is red in comparison to roast beef, or is it just coloured with some marinade?

[Dark Soldier]

Its basically just spicier, flavoured with Asian herbs and spices to give it more flavour. Loads of places round here only serve that kinda donner meat.

[Spikey M]

What a life $teve. What a life.

[Ian]

I tried one of them Yorkshire pudding wraps tonight. It was overpriced or underfilled, depending on what way you choose to look at it, but I approve of the combination of stuff and would like to try a superior, weightier version.

[Samadini]

I recently discovered Yorkshire puddings with cheese and beans.

Seems so obvious, how have I gone this long without?

[Ian]

When you say "discovered", do you mean what's the three things you had available to you on a Saturday lunchtime without going to the shop?

[Dark Soldier]

They're only worthwhile with gravy, mash and sausage in there, maybe some peas if you're feeling fruity.

Sama you've gone too fucking far.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Beans I can see being a nice complement, but cheese is a fatty item too far surely.

[Lewis]

You get loads of dickheads round here using them for burgers now (as in pudding-content-pudding) and it is a stupid idea.

[Samadini]

I tried that with crumpets recently because that's all I had (Ian is right, my 'discoveries' are a result of not being arsed to go to the shop), it was a total disgrace and I was ashamed of myself. All the butter seeps through top and bottom and your hands become filth.

[Mazuuurk]

You get loads of dickheads round here using them for burgers now (as in pudding-content-pudding) and it is a stupid idea.

No fucking way. The world is truly going down the shitter.

[Disco]

Beans I can see being a nice complement, but cheese is a fatty item too far surely.

It's not that long since someone posted a picture of a pie in a sandwich with chips on here so who knows what the fuck people are willing to do these days.

[-james-]

I've seen people up here order a "roll and scotch pie" with everyone keeping a straight face throughout the transaction. Freaks.

[Spikey M]

Someone I work with has Chicken Kiev salad. She doesn’t even heat the Kiev up, so it’s covered in solidified butter. Fucking stinks. She then chucks a load of hot sauce on it just to truely turn any surrounding stomachs.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cold Kiev :sick:

She's a wrongun.

[phonics]

Anyone got some ideas what to do meatballs with? I'm making some tonight but not sure what to do with them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Chili/tomato sauce and pasta.

[Giggles]

Baguette, gravy, fried onions and mushrooms.

[Ian]

I've seen people up here order a "roll and scotch pie" with everyone keeping a straight face throughout the transaction. Freaks.

I've heard of a "roll and sausage roll" as well. They're just spoiling perfectly good pastry products.

[niko_cee]

It's probably overkill, but putting a sausage roll into a well buttered roll is likely only going to elevate the experience. Although isn't a roll and sausage square slice in a roll? That might be through the looking glass to put things already in rolls into rolls.

Getting all pissy about carbs in carbs only leads you to that daft no vowel kiwi who questioned the idea of a chip buttie.

[SvN]

A guy I knew at uni would regularly eat a pie sandwich for lunch.

[Giggles]

All meals need 3 carbs.

[-james-]

All meals need 3 carbs.

And nine proteins.

[Disco]

Anyone got some ideas what to do meatballs with? I'm making some tonight but not sure what to do with them.

Cook them in some kind of tomato based sauce and serve with tagliatelle.

[Lewis]

A Scotch pie (which are crap and lack moisture) must be the worst pie to put in a sandwich, so that sounds like Scottish people being stupid.

[Giggles]

I'd never even heard of a scotch pie but I love the look of it.

I love a pie, sweet or savoury, that the shape stays in when you cut it.



.

[Baz]

I tried that with crumpets recently because that's all I had (Ian is right, my 'discoveries' are a result of not being arsed to go to the shop), it was a total disgrace and I was ashamed of myself. All the butter seeps through top and bottom and your hands become filth.:D

Who makes a burger with crumpets? Hahaha that’s awful.

AND BUTTERED THEM!

[Ian]

Scotch pies are largely rubbish. Unless you have a particular fixation with mince there's no reason to recommend them over a steak pie.

[Ian]

Sama's food adventures are quite the thing. Mixing all his Chinese into one pile of stuff is still the highlight.

[Disco]

Crumpets are one of those things were the cheaper they are the better. The different variations are also all vastly inferior, pikelets and those big square ones are ok in principle but actually they're just crap.

[Spikey M]

I’ve never seen a Scotch Pie before. It looks like a shit version of a Pork Pie. That said, even a shit attempt at a Pork Pie is better than no pie at all, so sign me up.

[Samadini]

As if you'd make crumpets without buttering them.

Scotch pies make me feel like I'm living in The Beano or The Dandy.

[Disco]

Yeah, once you've committed to the crumpet you have to butter them, I'm 100% with you there.

[Raoul Duke]

This Scotch Pie thing looks pikey as fuck.

[hfswjyr]

It's probably overkill, but putting a sausage roll into a well buttered roll is likely only going to elevate the experience. Although isn't a roll and sausage square slice in a roll? That might be through the looking glass to put things already in rolls into rolls.

Getting all pissy about carbs in carbs only leads you to that daft no vowel kiwi who questioned the idea of a chip buttie.

May as well have a rice sandwich while you're at it. Crazy.

[Boydy]

Burritos, mate.

[Kikó]

As if you'd make crumpets without buttering them.

Scotch pies make me feel like I'm living in The Beano or The Dandy.

You'll love Dundee.

[Giggles]

May as well have a rice sandwich while you're at it. Crazy.

A rice sandwich wouldn't be epic like a chip sambo though, so there would be no point.

[Giggles]

Christmas shopping treat :drool:

Magnificent.

http://i65.tinypic.com/dxbu6p.png

[Baz]

Calling it now lads, Wotsits are the best crisps.

[Giggles]

Calling it now lads, Wotsits are the best crisps.

They're not even crisps.

[SvN]

I feel like I need a shower after eating them.

[Disco]

I recently rediscovered salt and vinegar Squares, yet another crisp that would benefit from a bigger bag size. Mainly so I don't feel so ashamed when having to eat two bags.

[randomlegend]

I recently rediscovered salt and vinegar Squares

Same. They are brilliant :drool:

[Spikey M]

I recently rediscovered salt and vinegar Squares, yet another crisp that would benefit from a bigger bag size. Mainly so I don't feel so ashamed when having to eat two bags.

The Shop up the road sells 99p ‘share bags’. You don’t share them, obvs, but they’re perfect. I have never seen them anywhere else BUT the flat above the shop is for sale so it really depends how invested you are in them.

[niko_cee]

Wotsits (or more specifically 'The Wotsit Trough') are/is one of the best things about (having) kids (parties).

[Lewis]

Chipsticks, bacon fries, them onion rings, Space Raiders... There is probably more consistency in non-potato crisps than there is in regular crisps.

[Spikey M]

Chipsticks, If we’re talking the powdery ones, are the don. Walkers fucking ruined them by buying Smiths out.

[Disco]

Monster Munch, although anything other than pickled onion marks you out as a deviant.

[Spikey M]

Pickled Onion Monster Munch are the work of the Devil. Space Raiders n’all. :sick:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Monster Munch, although anything other than pickled onion marks you out as a deviant.


Pickled Onion Monster Munch are the work of the Devil. Space Raiders n’all. :sick:

One post for the theory to be proved.

[Spikey M]

I am not being called a deviant by fucking Mahow.

[Disco]

And he's absolutely right too.

[wullie]

I used to love Frazzles, but they messed around with the recipe and ruined everything. My best Christmas present would be a box of proper Frazzles and the old Irn-Bru chew bars where one side was so sour it'd drop a rhino.

[Disco]

The Sainsburys version of frazzles are great, they come in a bag big enough to make you ill if you eat them all at once and at least half of them are covered in a sickening amount of flavoury dusty stuff.

[Spikey M]

I went in the Butchers earlier to order Turkey, Ham and Beef for Christmas (not even home on the day, but I ain’t missing out) and grabbed a big Pork Pie and a bag of Pork Scratchings whilst I was in there. What a night I have in store.

[Ian]

Snaffling Pig pork scratchings are where it's at.

[igor_balis]

Working my way through a Rick Stein South East Asian book, did this the other day:

https://thehappyfoodie.co.uk/recipes/steamed-fish-curry-with-coconut-turmeric-lemongrass-and-kaffir-lime-leaves-amok-trey

Fucking quality, quite unlike anything i've had before. Never really thought much of SEAsian food until recently, but it's class. My first ever pad thai was a success, too.

[igor_balis]

The only thing I really use specialist butchers for is black pudding, the bury black company stuff that's so ubiquitous in supermarkets is proper rubbish.

[Mike]

Feeling rubbish so I’ve made a Shepard’s pie for tea. Smells amazing

[Samadini]

Chipsticks, If we’re talking the powdery ones, are the don. Walkers fucking ruined them by buying Smiths out.

Supermarket brand ones are still class. Just been to the shop and didn't pick up any crisps. Just read this page and I am now seething.

[Pleb]

I just had lamb meatballs with stir fry veg :cool: :drool:

[Samadini]

Just seen that real man's Toblerone in Morrison's (not for sale, just in a raffle). If that's really just one giant Toblerone and not a fucking scam like the huge galaxy and dairy milk things that just contain 8 normal pathetic size bars then I want one :|

I don't understand how you're supposed to eat it, or finish it, or anything about it really. Looks amazing.

[Giggles]

I vote leave.

https://www.rte.ie/news/2017/1212/926690-kebab/

[Baz]

So I was involved in an online secret santa and today received my present from someone in Switzerland. The box was all wet and I could tell something inside had leaked so I had to open it early. Now I’ve got all this weird stuff:

https://i.imgur.com/xCYDHaV.jpg

Thankfully it came with instructions.

Züri Tirggel (hard biscuits made with honey)
Bündner Nusstorte (walnut cake)
Birnbrot (bread made with pears)
Basler Läckerli (traditional Swiss pastries)
Ovomaltine (crunch cream spread and biscuits)
Aromat Knorr Streuwürze (all purpose savoury seasoning which apparently no Swiss person can go without, aka THE drug for Swiss people)
Swiss chocolate (chocolate from Switzerland)

Any of this good stuff, phonics?

[SvN]

What leaked?

[Baz]

What leaked?A bottle of beer (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?174-What-Are-You-Drinking&p=239743#post239743).

[Offshore Toon]

Male a coronation chicken sandwich with that pear bread.

[phonics]

So I was involved in an online secret santa and today received my present from someone in Switzerland. The box was all wet and I could tell something inside had leaked so I had to open it early. Now I’ve got all this weird stuff:

Thankfully it came with instructions.

Züri Tirggel (hard biscuits made with honey) German, no idea probably shit.
Bündner Nusstorte (walnut cake) German but I know what this one is. Disgusting.
Birnbrot (bread made with pears) Gross
Basler Läckerli (traditional Swiss pastries) - Dry as fuck
Ovomaltine (crunch cream spread and biscuits) - This stuffs like Nutella if you replaced Hazelnut with more Cocoa power.
Aromat Knorr Streuwürze (all purpose savoury seasoning which apparently no Swiss person can go without, aka THE drug for Swiss people) - This is good
Swiss chocolate (chocolate from Switzerland) - meh

Any of this good stuff, @phonics (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=1)?

My review

[Baz]

My reviewWay to spoil Christmas.

Next you’ll be telling me Romansh hip-hop outfit Liricas Analas are rubbish and I won’t enjoy the album he got me.

[phonics]

I'll stay quiet then.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Christ just had flashbacks to when I got into MC Solaar for a week about 12 years ago. What a time to be alive.

French hip-hop probably isn't as bad as French other things.

[phonics]

Late 90s - Early 00s French Hip-Hop is better than most stuff tbh.

'Solaar Pleure' :drool:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK5EAkdUyhk

[Jimmy Floyd]

Directement, j'suis allé chez Lucie
Qui aime les chiens, les chats et Trente Millions d'Amis
Elle me dit : "T'aimes les animaux, toi mon super M.C. ?"
J'ai dit: "Oui j'adore, avec du sel et bien cuits!"

Ah, more innocent times.

[Spikey M]

What Scouse monstrosity have you sent to some poor Belgian cunt, Baz?

[Baz]

What Scouse monstrosity have you sent to some poor Belgian cunt, Baz?

I sent some Uncle Joe's Mintballs to someone in Finland. :baz:

[Ian]

Just had a po'boy sandwich in the Raven in Glasgow. Love this place.

[phonics]

Doing Scallops on a bed on lentils tonight :drool:

First time doing scallops so I'll definitely burn them or undercook them resulting in food poisoning. My biggest issue is how to do the Lentils as I've only got dried ones. Thinking of doing the prep for them now and then leaving them to cook later.

[Spikey M]

Just put a 1.5kg ham joint and 2 litres of coke in the slow cooker. It’ll be done at 7am. :drool:

Took the skin and fat off to make crackling too.

[Foe]

Just put a 1.5kg ham joint and 2 litres of coke in the slow cooker. It’ll be done at 7am. :drool:

Took the skin and fat off to make crackling too.

Coke flavoured ham. Is that a thing?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yes.

[Giggles]

Coke flavoured ham. Is that a thing?

Very common thing for years. Cider too.

[Baz]

And Fanta chicken.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How do you do yours, Spikey?

I've always thought of doing it but can't be arsed with taking it out, cutting some fat away, scoring it, glazing it and then crisping it up.

[Spikey M]

How do you do yours, Spikey?

I've always thought of doing it but can't be arsed with taking it out, cutting some fat away, scoring it, glazing it and then crisping it up.

I just cut off the good fat for the crackling and leave the rest. It’s being cooked on low for 10 hours so most of it melts away.

In the morning I’ll give it a quick go in the oven as I like the outside a bit crispy, but that’s about it.

As for the crackling, easy job, cut through to the fat leaving an inch between each cut, salt the fuck out of it, has mark 6, cook it until you can knock on it / snap it.

[Spikey M]

Coke flavoured ham. Is that a thing?

It’s just an easy way of sweetening it. The sugar coats it so you don’t have to prat about basting it with honey 17 times an hour. It doesn’t actually taste of coke.

[randomlegend]

I'm reposting the dessert I made for Christmas since not a single cunt commented on it in the Christmas thread and because my life is one long desperate search for validation.

https://i.imgur.com/iKdMk2b.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/9QJfJiM.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/86i2cf3.jpg

From bottom up:

Biscuit moelleux sponge, alhambra sponge, sour cherry compote, white chocolate and kirsch mousse, dark chocolate mousse and chocolate glaze.

Well pleased with how it came out, and it tasted smashing'n'all.

[Ian]

Good tips on coke / ham, chaps. :thbup:

Sorry I missed them earlier.

[Giggles]

Good tips on coke / ham, chaps. :thbup:

Sorry I missed them earlier.

I'm going to do one shortly in it as soon as I get shopping.

[Raoul Duke]

Think I might have pizza tomorrow

[Lewis]

That cake has too many different things going on. We all ignored it in collective, unspoken disgust.

[randomlegend]

I hope you all choke on your shitty ham.

[Ian]

Just had some Haribo. Only mini-bags but it means I got to have some Starmix and Tangfastics in the same mouthful. What a life I lead.

[randomlegend]

I fucking love Tangfastics but they make my teeth insanely sensitive so I can't have them.

My body really is a failing mess.

[Lewis]

Did anyone ever follow my great advice and freeze their Haribos (and other gummy shite)?

[Giggles]

No but I'm going to.

[Lewis]

Yes lad. Then move onto Mars bars.

[phonics]

That's fucking rank. Who wants crunchy Haribo.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought it was a joke when you told me to freeze a bag of jelly snakes.

I'll have to try it next time I buy a bag.

[Giggles]

That's fucking rank. Who wants crunchy Haribo.

I doubt they'd go crunchy.

[Lewis]

We're changing lives here tonight. :cool:

[randomlegend]

I'm cooking three courses for ten people this weekend. Just worked out everything I've got to buy and I need 38 eggs :uhoh:

Might have bitten off more than I can chew here...

[John]

Be sure to post pictures.

[Raoul Duke]

Just had beans on toast. Was banging.

[randomlegend]

Be sure to post pictures.

:moop:

EDIT: It's actually 39 eggs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I like that cake. It's the sort of cake I would like with a sweet dessert wine, while Lewis demands sticky toffee chocolate fudge chip cookie cake and a glass of milk.

[Lewis]

You missed out '#FBPE'.

[Disco]

I like that cake. It's the sort of cake I would like with a sweet dessert wine, while Lewis demands sticky toffee chocolate fudge chip cookie cake and a glass of milk.

And that's just for the dog.

[Lewis]

He can't have chocolate. Bless him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You missed out '#FBPE'.

Proper Brexiteers like myself have spotted dick or plum duff for pudding, with a measure of brandy afterwards.

[Giggles]

I'm definitely on the Lewis dessert there.

[Giggles]

Just made pecan pie :drool:

[Giggles]

Needed food but dominoes was closed. Did the whole house looking for sweets and even contemplated making a smoothie from a banana and other shit in the bowl. Just found 4 sausages and 2 rashers in the freezer wrapped up in some foil. Sweet babby Jesus, jackpot.

[Baz]

Had my first go at cooking (and eating) Orzo rice before. It has the texture of a clitoris.

[randomlegend]

I'm cooking three courses for ten people this weekend. Just worked out everything I've got to buy and I need 38 eggs :uhoh:

Might have bitten off more than I can chew here...

Survived. Went really well actually. Starter didn't taste as good as I hoped, but main and dessert were great.

I have enough leftover egg whites to float a battleship.

[Lewis]

Was that you sucking up to your girlfriend's family?

[randomlegend]

Was that you sucking up to your girlfriend's family?

No, it was for some Uni friends.

I haven't spoken to them since it happened, lol.

[Lewis]

Thanks for the invite, 'mate'.

[randomlegend]

I offered to go to the cinema with you when we met and you said "we aren't becoming friends" so you can go fuck yourself, 'mate'.

[Giggles]

I offered to go to the cinema with you when we met and you said "we aren't becoming friends" so you can go fuck yourself, 'mate'.

:lol:

Lewis :cool:

[Giggles]

I'm just going to have my last slice of the pie. It's been epic.

[Lewis]

Oh yeah. Me. :cool:

[Dark Soldier]

If anybody wants this I've just upped it to Dropbox so PM me:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Modernist-Cuisine-Art-Science-Cooking/dp/0982761007

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Anyone else got The Curry Guy book?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Curry-Guy-Recreate-British-Restaurant/dp/1849499411/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1515767127&sr=8-1&keywords=the+curry+guy

Going to give something a bash over the weekend along with The Hairy Bikers gammon again which is fantastic.