Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

[Lewis]

If history has taught us anything, the promise of an equal share would just encourage people to sit there doing nothing whilst two of you struggled to finish it.

[Pepe]

But what if you're all going for it and at some point you realize you're falling way behind from the others? You could, of course, step it up. You could also tell them that either they give you your 'fair share' or you don't eat any more, potentially leaving everyone empty handed.

[Lewis]

I would go into it thinking that we don't win enough, and that, once we've chucked you off our team and made China pick up the drinks, we'll piss it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I ate a 15 inch by myself once but could have done more.

I'm in.

[John]

Eating challenges are such a load of shit (alright Hammer). There's entertainment to be had in watching some nutcase like that Joey Chestnut take down a five pound meal in thirty seconds, but being one of seven twats sweating their way through a massive pizza just sounds like a nightmare. You win about three shifts of minimum wage at the end of it, but you spend the next week with indigestion and a blocked toilet. Not a good deal.

[Lewis]

I couldn't even read whatever John has posted because of Mahow's aura.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Eating challenges are such a load of shit (alright Hammer). There's entertainment to be had in watching some nutcase like that Joey Chestnut take down a five pound meal in thirty seconds, but being one of seven twats sweating their way through a massive pizza just sounds like a nightmare. You win about three shifts of minimum wage at the end of it, but you spend the next week with indigestion and a blocked toilet. Not a good deal.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVlvQMXQQAw

It really is one of the greatest things ever.

I've also watched a load of eating competitions (Polish Eurosport is shit) and Kobayashi is a don.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've got Rick Stein's beef vindaloo marinating in the fridge for tomorrow. I cannot fucking wait, the marinade smelt so damn good.

[Giggles]

I've got Rick Stein's beef vindaloo marinating in the fridge for tomorrow. I cannot fucking wait, the marinade smelt so damn good.

You're in for a treat. It's gorgeous.

[Giggles]

I've a pound of lamb chunks here so I was going to make some sort of a stew with carrots, spuds, onions that are around too.

What flavourings would be best to go with the lamb, it's not something I cook often with apart from curries. Like if I was making a chicken stew/casserole I'd be using garlic and sage but not sure what to base the lamb on.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Don't be afraid to mix it up. Red wine is great with a lamb stew though, tend to throw in some rosemary/thyme as well.

http://www.jamieshomecookingskills.com/recipe.php?title=lamb-stew

[Ian]

I've been keen to try something like this (http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1413633/morrocan-lamb-tagine) with lamb for a while.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

If you're looking at other things to do with lamb, I posted this a while back-

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/all-one-posh-lamb-balti

Probably the best thing I've come across.

[Giggles]

It's going to be one of those, good shout on both.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The beef vindaloo is probably the best curry I've ever had.

Rick is a genius.

[Giggles]

The beef vindaloo is probably the best curry I've ever had.

Rick is a genius.

I've more of that lamb in the freezer and once I get green chillies, that's what it's going in. So good :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought it wasn't hot enough during the first few bites but it built up so nicely.

I put a bit more vinegar than the recipe stated and didn't bother taking out the seeds too. I think those two things just put it at another level.

[John]

You've improved on genius. Well played.

[Giggles]

I think Stein's book is all recipes he picked up making the TV show anyway.

[simon]

You've improved on genius. Well played.

:D

[Dark Soldier]

Sunday affie 'av a kebab mate

http://i.imgur.com/4en4GFy.jpg

[Giggles]

Chicken :nono:

[Dark Soldier]

Chicken :nono:

If you want a super kebab its the only option, donner, chicken and shish. You get more shish though so its a good balance, its packed right in the middle in the pic :drool:

[Baz]

No salad?

[Giggles]

No salad?

In fairness, he's bossed it in that repeat. Nobody needs a lettuce flavoured kebab.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Red cabbage is brilliant in kebabs.

Also, kofte > all other 'meats' done by kebab places.

[Lewis]

I don't know if there have been adverts, but Pizza Hut appears to have undergone something of a make-over. :cool:

[Raoul Duke]

Just had a chicken schwarma wrap and some chips. Sober kebabs :drool:

[John]

What the fuck is that, Giggles?

[Giggles]

What the fuck is that, Giggles?

Lamb doner I brought home on the bus from Temple Bar last night. Had it for dinner today.
Don't be in often so when I go past Zaytoon I have to get one.

[niko_cee]

Did you buy an extra one or just not eat any last night?

[Giggles]

Did you buy an extra one or just not eat any last night?

Didn't eat it last night. There was no seating free and it's too messy otherwise.

[Boydy]

I really want a kebab now.

[John]

Eating a kebab on the bus would be a cunt's trick anyway, seating or no. Why wouldn't you eat it when you got home though?

Also, did you get the kebab from the bar, an idea which makes me unwell, or from another place that's on the way home?

[Giggles]

Eating a kebab on the bus would be a cunt's trick anyway, seating or no. Why wouldn't you eat it when you got home though?

Also, did you get the kebab from the bar, an idea which makes me unwell, or from another place that's on the way home?

No it's a kebab place in Temple Bar, we had twenty minutes wait for the bus and it's pretty much beside it.
Was going to take into it when I got home but it was already cold (bus is 40 mins) so I thought it'd save cooking today. Fuck eating on the bus is right, there was some 50-something skanger eating a taco chip opposite us and it near put me off food altogether :sick:

[John]

Doesn't look like much of a kebab, by the way, but then they're often the best ones. The colour of that sauce makes it look like a smashed Subway.

Rifling through the chips of a McDonald's or something is fine, but there's nothing worse than the stench of someone else's fish supper wafting around when you're pissed. I once had someone open their own tub of rice and flip it into a Tupperware of curry beside me in the cinema, which is orders of magnitude worse than anything short of shitting on a bus.

[Giggles]

Doesn't look like much of a kebab, by the way, but then they're often the best ones. The colour of that sauce makes it look like a smashed Subway.

Rifling through the chips of a McDonald's or something is fine, but there's nothing worse than the stench of someone else's fish supper wafting around when you're pissed. I once had someone open their own tub of rice and flip it into a Tupperware of curry beside me in the cinema, which is orders of magnitude worse than anything short of shitting on a bus.

No salad and it's about 12 inches long :drool: It's the meat that makes it though, really nice stuff. They build up the spit with chillies mixed through the lamb so there's little flecks of it through it. The sauce is a strange colour but I think when you ask for chilli sauce and garlic sauce they use one that's already a mix of the two so it's pinkish.

Who the fuck brings a curry Into the cinema? :D

[Ian]

Made the Rick Stein tamarind and green chilli pork curry today. Took me ages because I was never very good at the 'prep' in the first place and getting out of practice hasn't helped but it was worth it. Absolutely delicious.

[Raoul Duke]

I made some banana bread yesterday. Turned out pretty well, and was really easy. It was maybe a little too moist for my liking but I didn't want to burn it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Doing the vindaloo again tonight :drool:

[John]

Those 'stand n stuff' tacos Danny Trejo is all over the TV with at the moment are very good. I've made my own chilli obviously, the shit Old El Paso provide is barely fit for a dog, but I might grab another three or four of those sets while they're cheap just for the shells.

[Magic]

Asshole wife made spag bol with a jar tonight. To show my disgust I put the remainder in the bin rather than tubbing up as usual. That'll teach her.

[Ian]

How to be a spiteful misery?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bought a picanha cut of beef to put on the barbecue today :drool:

[Giggles]

Anything interesting to do with quailes eggs? Picked up two dozen this morning as they were only €3 but as it stands I'm just going to boil some.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You could make some smaller scotch eggs.

[Giggles]

You could make some smaller scotch eggs.

I have a vague recollection of someone doing that on TV once. Nigella maybe, I'll look it up. Sounds a plan.

[Giggles]

Was Oliver.

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/eggs-recipes/wee-scotch-eggs/#ZfZo1lDxZ39D45Ds.97

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm sure others have done them on TV as well, I believe someone did them as part of his starter on Great British Menu too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I can barely move but fucking hell, I don't think a good barbecue can be beaten.

Some corn, a bit of halloumi, a venison burger and a massive brilliant steak :drool:

[Boydy]

Someone give me a good curry recipe that doesn't require too many different ingredients. I've got the normal coriander, cumin, garam masala stuff in the house. I was looking at Madhur Jaffrey's lamb bhuna recipe but it needs a ridiculous amount of different things I don't have.

[Giggles]

I've nothing. Even my simplest one has tamarind in it. If you can get that then the rest of the stuff is easy to get.

[Boydy]

I'm not even sure what tamarind is.

You could probably get that in the supermarket though, right?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They sell it in Sainsburys.

[Giggles]

I got mine in Tesco. The one I use is a thick concentrate in a bottle.

[Boydy]

Yeah that's alright then. Have you got a link for it?

The recipe, I mean. Not the tamarind.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bought a cote de boeuf to put on the barbecue tonight.

It's obscenely good, probably the best steak I've eaten.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Late to this but for curries, get Mr Patak's paste (think it is called that. Maybe just Patak's).

If you're arsed to grind your own spices then you are a better man / have more time than me, but the above is a great substitute.

[five time]

Some variation on this is honestly fine if you don't have that many ingredients in.

https://youtu.be/y-VjBxMufhw

[Ian]

Had some Chinese last night. Chicken and prawns marinated just in honey, five spice, ginger and soy. Lovely and dead easy.

[phonics]

BBC Food/Good Food is being shutdown :(

There's currently a petition going on to save the recipes.

https://www.change.org/p/bbc-save-the-bbc-s-recipe-archive

[Boydy]

I saw that. That's shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good Food isn't being shut down, and Food isn't really either, it just won't be updated anymore.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Good food :(

[Disco]

Good job too, it's not like they could get rid of one of the seven layers of management instead.

[Raoul Duke]

That seems like surely one of the things they could actually monetise quite easily (overseas).

[Magic]

Good Food isn't being shut down, and Food isn't really either, it just won't be updated anymore.

Aren't they removing all the recipes? Fuck 'em anyway allrecipes is where it's at.

[randomlegend]

Yes they are, or a lot of them anyway.

EDIT:


The 11,000 existing recipes on the BBC Food website will not be searchable which could make them harder to find online unless you know the URL.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36308976

Actually not quite true. But still.

[Giggles]

The Mrs wants to get Thai one night over the weekend but everything in a Thai place always seemed very wishy washy raw veg to me, and the curries are full of lemongrass. Is there anything in them that would suit someone that mainly likes Indian?

[niko_cee]

Jungle Curry can be good, but it can also be quite watery. I don't know what it is with Thai food, there always seems a vast array of differences in the same dishes (from establishment to establishment), which you don't see with most other cuisines.

Actually, traditionally I think it is quite watery (no coconut milk), but the one I get obviously doesn't adhere to this convention.

:cab:

[Lewis]

I tried to make some cookies this weekend as part of the whole wasting my life thing. You had to leave the dough to 'chill' for a bit (shut up), and the ones I tried cooking were sort of boring, so I just ended up eating the dough.

It's getting desperate now, quite frankly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are ways out other than baking.

Model trains, for example.

[Lewis]

I still have the trains from my train set. You need wide corners for the Eurostar though, so I don't know if I could get a new track set up on the cheap.

[Boydy]

I made some sweet potato, coconut and chilli soup for lunch for the rest of the week tonight. I tasted it and while it's nice I think it's a bit too spicy. My arse is gonna be burning by tomorrow night.

:(

[Boydy]

I tried to make some cookies this weekend as part of the whole wasting my life thing. You had to leave the dough to 'chill' for a bit (shut up), and the ones I tried cooking were sort of boring, so I just ended up eating the dough.

It's getting desperate now, quite frankly.

Have you thought about becoming a paedophile?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I made some sweet potato, coconut and chilli soup for lunch for the rest of the week tonight. I tasted it and while it's nice I think it's a bit too spicy. My arse is gonna be burning by tomorrow night.

:(

Put a bit of cream in it, or some coconut milk.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't get the hard on everyone has for sweet potato these days. Make me feel sick.

[Pepe]

Sweet potatoes are shite.

[Boydy]

Put a bit of cream in it, or some coconut milk.

There's already a can of coconut milk in it.

[Boydy]

I don't get the hard on everyone has for sweet potato these days. Make me feel sick.

I like them but I know what you mean. It's the 'clean eating' knobheads that rave about them. Bunch of gimps.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's already a can of coconut milk in it.

Fuck you then, I hope it burns going down your throat and then when it exits your body.

[niko_cee]

+1 for sweet potato disdain.

The chipped efforts are by far the worst.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm guessing you haven't tried them in crisps form.

Absolutely disgusting.

[niko_cee]

:D

Not sure (they may have been lost in with the other general horrors of non [proper] potato crisps), although they sound like they would be like those rogue crisps you come across at a 5 year old's birthday party, which have been sucked and then returned to the bowl. It's too late . . .

[Manc]

Kale chips. I don't even.

[Lewis]

Have you thought about becoming a paedophile?

Good one, Magic.

[igor_balis]

I like sweet potato chips but I like everything.

[Boydy]

Good one, Magic.

Ordering milk in pubs is definitely the sign of a wrong'un.

[Lewis]

The sign of somebody with healthy teeth and bones. :cool:

[igor_balis]

I had a curry the other day that was a bit too hot for my pathetic pallet and got the waiter to get me a glass of milk. My mates took the piss and I blurted out 'oh buying milk out and about isn't that weird, this guy called lewis...' then just admitted it was off this place cus my mouth was stinging too much to think of a cover story and they know i'm a fucking loser already.

[Lewis]

I got another free pint of it the other day because they didn't know what to charge me and decided on 'it's only a bit of milk'. Well it was only a bit of beer as well, and you had a fiver out of me for that piss.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What would you do if they only had skimmed milk?

[Ian]

I love the ad for that yellow topped stuff that claims to "taste as good as" semi-skimmed. Might as well sell shoes that are "as comfortable as having your feet hacked off!"

[Lewis]

I bought some soft scoop ice cream today, and, because it annoys me when people just spoon in and make a fucking mess of it all when it melts and re-sets and everything, when I eat ice cream from the tubs (I bought it I'll do what I want) I patiently scrape it up with the spoon.

http://i64.tinypic.com/venfhe.jpg

I mention this because my mother has just clocked it, called it 'weird', and refused to have any; so I want to know whether anybody else does likewise.

[Byron]

That is the correct way to eat ice cream, Miss Byron ruining the tubs of Ben and Jerrys we buy is grounds for divorce.

[randomlegend]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dkEwFLOhFaY/UcjSj1rmjqI/AAAAAAAACT4/oNcCz6BV6As/s1600/DSC08198.JPG

Best way to eat Ben and Jerry's type tubs of ice cream.

[Boydy]

That is the correct way to eat ice cream, Miss Byron ruining the tubs of Ben and Jerrys we buy is grounds for divorce.

How can you ruin a tub of Ben and Jerry's?

[Boydy]

I'm not really sure what Lewis' problem is. Is he saying he keeps it level all across the tub rather than just scooping out at one end then working to the other end?

[Lewis]

How can you ruin a tub of Ben and Jerry's?

By spooning in, distorting the tub, trying to mine all the 'good bits', and then leaving a shitty re-formed block at the bottom sitting in a frozen puddle. Wear your way down equally.

[Raoul Duke]

I get annoyed when people do that with the butter :moop:

[niko_cee]

Surely you just cut chunks off butter.

[Raoul Duke]

Spreadable stuff, not actual butter butter.

[John]

Best way to eat Ben and Jerry's type tubs of ice cream.

If you're sticking a cookie on either side of it and making your own ice cream sandwich, yes, but how can that possibly be better than just digging into the tub or taking some out into a bowl if you're just eating the ice cream?

[Boydy]

By spooning in, distorting the tub, trying to mine all the 'good bits', and then leaving a shitty re-formed block at the bottom sitting in a frozen puddle. Wear your way down equally.

How long are you keeping it out of the freezer for?

[randomlegend]

If you're sticking a cookie on either side of it and making your own ice cream sandwich, yes, but how can that possibly be better than just digging into the tub or taking some out into a bowl if you're just eating the ice cream?

You just cut off how much you want, whip off the cardboard and stick it in a bowl. Then put the lid back on top of whatever's left.

Digging in the tub results in it all getting a bit melty and then being shit the next time (unless you eat it in one go). You also have to make a second trip to the freezer.

Getting some out with a spoon into a bowl is a pain in the arse after it's just come out the freezer (cutting it is much easier). Either you end up with a million little tiny bits and a bent spoon or you let it melt a bit and have the same problem as in part a of this explanation. I guess all the freezers in my life so far could've just been too cold, though.

[Pepe]

Never knew eating ice cream was so complicated.

[randomlegend]

It's not, if you do it properly.

[Manc]

Finding myself opting for the vegetarian option more and more this year. Had some veggie sausages earlier and they were the nuts.

[randomlegend]

There's a joke there about them not being vegetarian if they were 'the nuts', but it falls down on the basis of the proper meaning of nuts.

What a quandary.

[Boydy]

Finding myself opting for the vegetarian option more and more this year. Had some veggie sausages earlier and they were the nuts.

I'm trying to do this during the week now in an effort to be a bit healthier and limit the amount of junk I eat. I even bought some Quorn burgers today.

[Manc]

Spinach and pine nut pasta salad is a game changer.

[Magic]

So I ordered Louisiana Chicken Foccacia. I thought it was pasta, turns out it's a noncey sandwich. Awesome. Italian cunts.

[niko_cee]

Dear lord.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

More like failing at being middle class.

How did you not know focaccia is a type of bread?

[randomlegend]

You thought Focaccia was pasta?

[Magic]

I'm not that big on Italian noncery to be honest. Of all the cuisines it's the shittest.

[Pepe]

Magic. :*)

[John]

Londoners, tell me about a burrito place named 'Tortilla'.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's decent. Quite cheap if I remember correctly, though I've only been once.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

'Californian-style Mexican food'

I'll predict a ':harold:' from Pepe.

[John]

The prices do look reasonable, even more so since they're doing all food half price until Friday. My main concern was the 'began after a four year search for a decent taco' shit in their blurb, which makes it sound like it's run by mahow.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I genuinely thought the same when I read that.

It's definitely something that I would do, I'm constantly pissed off that there are no decent Mexican or Korean (a Mexican/Korean gaff would be amazing, they blend so well) places here.

[Disco]

Does risotto work with basmati rice? Turns out it does, although if you don't use risotto rice is it still called a risotto?

Tackling the big questions tonight.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Probably not as it won't be as creamy as a risotto made with aborio rice.

[Disco]

In which case I just had rice with stuff I found in the fridge.

[Pepe]

I genuinely thought the same when I read that.

It's definitely something that I would do, I'm constantly pissed off that there are no decent Mexican or Korean (a Mexican/Korean gaff would be amazing, they blend so well) places here.

There is the quite popular 'Seoul Taco' over here. Their burritos are not bad. Better than going to Wendys or other shite and the price is around the same.

[Pepe]

'Californian-style Mexican food'

I'll predict a ':harold:' from Pepe.

I like how they try so hard to make tacos so fucking complicated. Grab a (corn) tortilla, stick some meat in it. That's a taco. 'Salsa', cheese, sour cream, and lettuce can all fuck off.

The abuse the term barbacoa gets from all these fast food places like Chipotle and the like does fuck me off I have to admit.

[randomlegend]

Made some brownies (these ones http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2004/jun/13/foodanddrink.shopping2 which I'm sure I've espoused the virtues of before) and some salted caramel last night, and just had it with some vanilla ice cream.

Fucking HELL. :drool:

[John]

Tortilla is good. It's a Subway style affair so you just pick what you want as they go along and make it for you. Everything tasted properly fresh though and it was stuffed past bursting point, so I've no complaints for two seventy.

[Boydy]

Sounds like most burrito places except for the price.

[Magic]

Had boodles for the first time tonight. For once, a pretty tasty alternative.

[Disco]

The gin?

[Magic]

No the healthy noodle alternative.

[Disco]

Noodles are unhealthy now? I feel like I'm missing something.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Those bare naked ones? They look rank.

[Boydy]

Carbs. Carbs are bad. The girl that sits opposite me in work is doing some fitness 'bootcamp' thing and she got an eating plan from it. It's done by some of those clean eating no carbs wankers. I hate that shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I find it especially strange considering that low fat is better for a person than low carbs.

[Pepe]

Carbs are bad now, but fat is no longer bad, now it is good. Only the good fat though, bad fat is bad.

[Disco]

Oh well, bollocks to that then. By happy coincidence Boodles the gin is quite nice too.

[Magic]

Boodles is just a butternut squash that's been grated to look like noodles. I think. One of my five a day, anyway.

[Spikey M]

Played Tragic.

[John]

Butternut squash is fucking repugnant. My aunt is a vegetarian and absolutely loves all that stuff, I tried a butternut squash lasagne she was raving about once and it was like sick.

[Dquincy]

Tesco finest Swiss White Chocolate & Honeycomb cookies.

Thank me later.

[Magic]

Sitting in Burger King hating myself. There goes the boodles benefit.

[Boydy]

You're a fucking boodle.

[randomlegend]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amedei_Porcelana

I bought a bar of this recently.

I don't know if you can ever really argue that a bar of chocolate that size is 'worth' what it cost, but fucking hell it was spectacularly nice.

[Ian]

My Co-Op had a load of that fancy chocolate they do on clearance prices. A good sized bar of milk chocolate with toffee and Himalayan red salt (???) for 40p. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Didn't check the date of a bottle of soy sauce I found in the cupboard (it was sealed) and ended up putting a splash in my fried rice before I noticed it looked watery as fuck. Checked the date and it's about 18 months gone.

Just a small splash has ruined my fried rice.

Doesn't quite taste right and it's watery as hell :(

[Magic]

Bought a coconut. Eating it just now. Pretty awesome, though quite hard to prepare and eat raw. Not sure what else to do with it? The coconut juice though. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I made a chicken ramen yesterday. In the spirit of Brexit, I sacked off all the dirty foreign ingredients like bamboo and the detestable pak choi, replacing them with blighty's very own fresh spinach.

It was absolutely sensational. Having posh chicken stock made the difference.

[hfswjyr]

Chicken noodle soup then?

I've got a stew going, but it's still an hour away. Not sure how I survive this.

[randomlegend]

Bought William Curley's two books the other week:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Couture-Chocolate-Masterclass-William-Curley/dp/1906417598

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Patisserie-Masterclass-Classic-Contemporary/dp/1909342211

They are brilliant, if a little daunting. Going to have a try at making some blackcurrant tea-cakes out of the chocolate one after exams are done.

[Raoul Duke]

I embraced Brexit this evening by going to a pub and drinking ale then eating sausage and batter and chips :brittania:

[Magic]

I thought 150cal per 30g of some cereals was excessive, some even 200. Without milk. So I poured a bowl of the amount I have then poured it on the scales.

100g. 100 fucking grams. That means nearly every morning my breakfast is 500+ calories. Oh lol.

[John]

Flicking through Facebook and I've just been confronted with a picture of someone's dinner. Spaghetti bolognese and mashed potatoes. The picture itself may be too upsetting to post.

http://i.imgur.com/4VZlcVA.jpg

[hfswjyr]

A nice vegetarian meal, that is.

[John]

You'd have paid about sixty quid for it.

[Boydy]

Is that spag bol from a can as well?

Why would you eat that and even worse, why would you post a photo of it?

[randomlegend]

That's properly tragic :D

See a lot of people doing it with (terrible) roast dinners.

"Mum's roasts are the best ever!"

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is that spag bol from a can as well?

Why would you eat that and even worse, why would you post a photo of it?

Scottish dinners are grand.

[Lewis]

My mother makes crap roast dinners, but telling her so would probably devastate her (somebody should have done so in 1981 before she started thinking she was good), so I pretend that I want to learn how to do it whilst actually improving it with advice gleaned from my brother.

[John]

That's properly tragic :D

See a lot of people doing it with (terrible) roast dinners.

"Mum's roasts are the best ever!"

There was a great one of those doing the rounds at Christmas. A tiny roast dinner with no gravy, no pigs in blankets, and no decent veg, captioned on Snapchat with 'better than sex'.

EDIT - Found it.

http://i.imgur.com/0VnigLK.png

[Pepe]

That's just tragic.

[Ian]

Molton wants to know who can stomach a meal of such hedonistic extravagance.

[Baz]

What're the best sausages? I'm getting sick of the Quorn ones.

[Raoul Duke]

Go to a decent local butcher

[Baz]

You can't get the Morrisons man to deliver them. :thbdn:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just buy ones with the most pork in them.

[John]

The 'Heck' ones are shit hot. All varieties.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Their squares shoved in a baguette :nodd:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Went to a Chinese supermarket today.

Selling bags of frozen pig uteri is taking things a bit too far I felt.

[Disco]

Bee Larvae all round!

[randomlegend]

Ordered 3 more bars of really nice (read expensive) chocolate :uhoh:

I'm going to bankrupt myself with this.

[Manc]

So I've gone vegetarian for the past month and I'm going to stick with it. Get to it, Boyd.

[Boydy]

I'm actually doing the whole no carb thing at the minute.

[Manc]

That was my 2015. I look forward to your evolution.

[Magic]

Wish I could do something like that. Pity the wife only likes unhealthy stuff.

[Kikó]

Says the man who eats Greggs.

[Manc]

Most people in relationships eat utter shit. Oh to be comfortable.

[Magic]

I don't eat Greggs.

[Lewis]

The 'Heck' ones are shit hot. All varieties.

I bought some of their chicken ones tonight, and the packet suggests that I 'slice and mix things up with an apple and walnut salad'. They're going in a sandwich, you gay cunts.

[Boydy]

Chicken sausages. I don't think you can be throwing 'gay' around at anyone.

[Lewis]

They were reduced because their date was up today. Homosexuals would never go for that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've tried them because my Mum bought some and they're not too bad.

Not a patch on pork obviously.

[John]

I've just had a Twinkie because Tesco are doing them less than half price and I hadn't had one since I was about fourteen in America. Fuck me, they're vile, and I immediately feel like I'm on course for a massive stroke.

[Raoul Duke]

They are fucking awesome

[Lewis]

You just tell yourself that because you pay four quid for them in a cereal cafe.

[John]

They're two fifty for ten in Tesco, so if you love them that much stock up. It's like off squirty cream in a sponge that's been baked for a little too long.

[Raoul Duke]

The big Tesco in Hackney has an American section with loads of ridiculous "food" there like marshmallow sandwich spread, Lucky Charms and whatnot.

I'm going on holiday in a few weeks so there's no chance I'm getting involved.

[John]

Same as the one near me. They have about fifty flavours of 'Pop Tarts'. There's an Irish section right beside it which sells their crisps. 'Tayto' is the brand, which made me lol.

[Bartholomert]

This:

https://goo.gl/images/JbiiQx

[John]

Not a program I could imagine you watching, much less enjoying. It has a sense of humour. You have to put the image location in the tags, not the site URL.

Trying to find the brand name of the stuff they sell in Tesco I've come across this serving suggestion.


Marshmallow creme and peanut butter are used to create a fluffernutter sandwich.

You fucking wot? Bad enough that exists, but that name from the country who changed 'titbit' because it sounded too rude?

[Lewis]

If TTH ever does a holiday it should be an eating 'n' lolling tour of America.

[Pepe]

Yeeha!

http://images.hgmsites.net/hug/pickup-truck-rolling-coal_100476001_h.jpg

[Lewis]

I bet that barely has enough power to move.

[Pepe]

It's ok though, only $2 a gallon.

[Pepe]

Less in Texas.

[John]

Look at the grass receding and dying as he goes past.

[randomlegend]

http://www.figbarnorwich.com/#home

This place has just opened in Norwich. It's fucking spectacular.

[Pepe]

Really? That shit has existed for ages:

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/4/26/18/enhanced-buzz-32602-1367015072-5.jpg

They'se superb. :drool:

[Giggles]

Really? That shit has existed for ages:

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/4/26/18/enhanced-buzz-32602-1367015072-5.jpg

They'se superb. :drool:

The flavour, not the coating.

[Pepe]

Oh. Sounds shite. :D

They way the coating melts in your mouth. :drool:

[Giggles]

Oh. Sounds shite. :D

They way the coating melts in your mouth. :drool:

If that's a lime on the front of your picture then you have no valid opinions on the matter.

[Pepe]

Can't go wrong with lime flavored anything.

[Lewis]

This (http://www.sainsburys.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/gb/groceries/frank-coopers-muscovado-oxford-marmalade-454g?langId=44&storeId=10151&krypto=YgqIpiX8DgaDipUTVBCqB%2BX9ZZqOTeGQWEOPotViI yMuQ81cK4oWQNGPi3iOxZB0D05UxJb1MaPauNMdrrVhuxy4lgr f%2BpzwrPiUzT0tH%2FpqK1lUdEsYgAFwGUAZoN12&ddkey=http%3Agb%2Fgroceries%2Ffrank-coopers-muscovado-oxford-marmalade-454g) is mega, lads.

[Magic]

Marnalade. :harold:

[randomlegend]

MarMalade is quality you fucking pleb.

[niko_cee]

I must admit, Pepe's nuts look good.

[igor_balis]

Had half a massive Asda deli counter pizza for lunch today. I don't think we talk about pizza enough on here.

[Magic]

MarMalade is quality you fucking pleb.

Bollocks.

[Ian]

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3402/chicken-with-wine-and-mushrooms

:drool:

[Giggles]

Bought a bag of Red Pan Masala today without realising what it was. I thought by the look of it that it would be a sort of different flavoured Panch Phooran mix, but it's an after dinner mint :face:

[igor_balis]

Got a young lady coming round so I'm making her my classic mediocre vegetable pasta sauce. :eyemouth:

[-james-]

I bought a baguette and filled it with steak, halloumi, mushrooms & caramelised onions today. It was good.

[Disco]

Got a young lady coming round so I'm making her my classic mediocre vegetable pasta sauce. :eyemouth:

Do you have one of these to wear?

http://i.imgur.com/O3EfBGh.png

[Giggles]

I've just boiled 10 chicken fillets.

[Boydy]

Boiled?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The not so foody version of 'poached'.

[Giggles]

Boiled?

For making curries, etc at a later date. Simmered in a curried tomato stock to be more precise.

[Boydy]

For making curries, etc at a later date. Simmered in a curried tomato stock to be more precise.

Ah right. I was imagining you dumping a load of chicken into a pot of water.

I suppose it sort of is but at least it's flavoured.

[Ian]

Molton thought Giggles was some plain pasta away from a feast fit for a king until he lost the plot and said it was for curries and stuff.

[Giggles]

Ah right. I was imagining you dumping a load of chicken into a pot of water.

I suppose it sort of is but at least it's flavoured.

60 lumps in total. Makes knocking up a quick curry handy out. I've lamb on the same way now too in the chicken water with some other spices.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XILbEZlS0U

I'm sold, I've ruined too many eggs and pans in my life.

[Giggles]

They'd be horrible to eat.

[Boydy]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XILbEZlS0U

I'm sold, I've ruined too many eggs and pans in my life.
Kitchen gadgets review: the Egg Master – a horrifying, unholy affair

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jul/15/kitchen-gadgets-review-egg-master-horrifying-unholy-affair?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

[Adamski]

Jesus, what the fuck is that monstrosity. Why would you think that was a good idea?

[Giggles]

The ads are brilliant. Some the random flailing about and throwing the egg at the pan while they sweat like a rapist.
How do you even stick an egg to a frying pan? You'd need to be using loctite instead of oil.

[Disco]

Kitchen gadgets review: the Egg Master – a horrifying, unholy affair

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jul/15/kitchen-gadgets-review-egg-master-horrifying-unholy-affair?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

I don't doubt that the thing itself is pretty shit (and honestly, what kind of mongoloid would need one) but fucking hell that guy is a melodramatic prick.

[Boydy]

That's the point. His column is funny.

[Disco]

In my defence it is in the Gaurdian, he could easily just have been a wanker.

[Disco]

I knew I'd seen this somewhere before, it's been on Ashens' sofa.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFP5mmPZe_c

[Lewis]

They look like what a kid would get as a treat if they were being raised gender-neutral.

[Giggles]

Just had a plate of 12 oysters and a pint of stout handed to me. After 8, I think I like.

[igor_balis]

Just had my vegetable pasta sauce for dinner for the 5th night out of 7. The special ingredients are chilli powder and laziness.

[Baz]

What're the best sausages? I'm getting sick of the Quorn ones.
The 'Heck' ones are shit hot. All varieties.https://www.heckfood.co.uk/uploads/files/our-products/smokey-chipolatas.jpg

Got myself some smoky paprika chicken ones for tea. Will probably cook six, with a bt of mash, mushy peas and loads of gravy. :drool: All while I sit down to binge watch Master Of None. What a night.

Then I've got four left over for breakfast. :nod:

[Boydy]

I want one of these (https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2016/aug/08/francesinha-sandwich-porto-portugal).


A doorstep sandwich layered with pork, then smoked sausage, then bacon, and topped off with a medium-rare beefsteak, it is finished with a fried egg and covered in a thick coat of cheesy sauce. It is heated through and then drenched in a murky dark sauce. A mountain of french fries is served on the side. Health food it’s not.

EDIT: Fucking picture won't work. Just click the link.

[Giggles]

Lose the egg and sorted.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Indeed, I'm not sold on eggs.

[Magic]

You can just imagine a disgusting, fat Portugeuse fisherman version of Giggles chewing on that with his obese mouth wide open, spraying every cunt with spit residue and chip fat.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Better than spraying people in a kebab shop with bits of teeth and blood.

[Magic]

Better than travelling to an active warzone because some camwhore talked back to you online thus cementing the scenario in your head that a reasonably attractive slut who rents herself out to fat disgusting perverts on the internet would choose to fall in love with one that looks like a Mammoth's hairball with an underactive thyroid.

[John]

The Portuguese love an egg. I was in two different restaurants there where you had to specifically ask for it if you didn't want an egg on your pizza. It was as much a part of the standard recipe as the cheese.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Better than travelling to an active warzone because some camwhore talked back to you online thus cementing the scenario in your head that a reasonably attractive slut who rents herself out to fat disgusting perverts on the internet would choose to fall in love with one that looks like a Mammoth's hairball with an underactive thyroid.

My thyroid is fine actually, I've had tests.

[Disco]

Could Kiko's mum look any more awkward in that photo?

Plus, cheese on the outside? Get a grip.

[Mazuuurk]

I think you've got Kikos family relations a bit wrong.

[Giggles]

Also, tinypic rotates photos for some unknown reason.

[niko_cee]

Are they chicken dippers?

[Giggles]

Are they chicken dippers?

Pretty much.

http://img.tesco.ie/Groceries/pi/275%5C5391521350275%5CIDShot_225x225.jpg

[Magic]

:harold:

Oh dear.

[Giggles]

:harold:

Oh dear.

Nothing could even be handed to me that I'd want more :cool: