Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

[Manc]

As a nation, we eat far too many sandwiches.

[Spikey M]

Wokeism.

[Shindig]

Deport them. Send them back to the Sandwich Islands.

[Pepe]

Aldi is a weird one. Pretentious wankers seem to like it. They see going to Walmart as a horrendous thing to do while Aldi is somehow not only ok, but honorable. Yet every time I've been there, the quality of everything is dogshit.

[Dquincy]

I was expecting them to be dead against brown bread.

DEI bread.

[Ben]

Cheddar and Marmite. :thbup:

[niko_cee]

Yes sir, here's your cheddar and marmalade sir.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was a rhetorical flourish, if you think I shop at Aldi you've sorely misjudged me.

[Spikey M]

Sainsburys I reckon.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You don't think he's an M&S boy?

[Spikey M]

You don't think he's an M&S boy?

Not yet. Sainsburys people grow old and become M&S / Waitrose / Ocado people.

[niko_cee]

The only people who do all their shopping in M&S are wealthy boomer retirees.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Round here M&S and Waitrose is pulling in a younger clientele now.

The boomers are all flocking to Sainsburys round these parts.

[Lewis]

I go to Aldi about once a month because they have a few things I like and seeing what wacky shit they have in is always fun, but its cheapness is a complete myth. I think it was always overstated, but now it simply doesn't exist, so what is the point of doing your regular shop there when it has less choice and the meat is crap?

[Spikey M]

The boomers are all flocking to Sainsburys round these parts.

Got to pay for their own heating now, after all.

[Spikey M]

I go to Aldi about once a month because they have a few things I like and seeing what wacky shit they have in is always fun, but its cheapness is a complete myth. I think it was always overstated, but now it simply doesn't exist, so what is the point of doing your regular shop there when it has less choice and the meat is crap?

We've tried it a few times and agreed on all points. It's no cheaper than anywhere else, the meat is shit and we always end up having to go somewhere else because they don't stock half the shopping list. They also seemingly put one moldy bit of fruit in every bag / punnet to make sure the strawberries and apples go off on the drive home.

We either shop at ASDA (If doing it in person, because it's closest, but it's shit) or just get a Tesco or Sainsbury's delivery in. MuscleFood for the meat once a month.

[Baz]

There's a new Aldi here and everyone seems to be losing their minds but, having ventured in today, it's shit. More expensive than the neighbouring Sainsbury's for most things and nowhere near the curious foreign offerings, or value, or feeling of being on the precipice of societal breakdown of Lidl. Boo!

You wanna get yourself a Heron. Different things every few weeks, always cheap. I bought three items today: some cookies that say £1.99 on the wrapper, some crackers that had a sign saying 39p and a Tyson Fury energy drink priced at 39p or 4 for £1. I got 1. I was charged £1.55.


MuscleFood for the meat once a month.Get down to a local butchers.

[Lewis]

Heron. :hail:

[Spikey M]

The fuck is Heron?

[Spikey M]

Get down to a local butchers.

Used to when I lived in Southend, but the local butcher round here takes the piss.

[Baz]

The fuck is Heron?https://heronfoods.com/

It's like Farmfoods but you don't catch nits.

[Lewis]

I think the nearest thing to Heron would be Farmfoods, except with a regular churn of weird and wonderful stuff with a month left on its expiration. The southernmost branches are Bristol and Luton, so me and my colleague from Northampton bring each other Heron Bargains when we go home. You go in for some milk and come out with a load of Nestle ice cream that they only sell abroad and a job lot of Frisps.

[Spikey M]

My nearest one is 55 miles away. I'm bald, I'll take my chances with the nits.

[Giggles]

I go to Lidl because of their voucher system but I fucking hate it. I just want to go back to spending twice as much in Dunnes.

[Dark Soldier]

I go Lidl cos I can get 50 chick nugs for like 2 quid bang em in the airfryer bit of sriracha sauce bang ya nipples are erect

[Ben]

I'm an M&S shopper, and have been for a couple of years. When everyone else (Asda being the worst culprit) started jacking up their prices post-pandemic, M&S didn't really to the same extent. I'd say our weekly shop costs about £10 more than Tesco.

[Waffdon]

I still shop Tesco and I have no idea why. The club card is a proper scam.

[Spikey M]

I still shop Tesco and I have no idea why. The club card is a proper scam.

The fob on my keys broke a while back and my wife had the proper card. Popped in for a meal deal and was seething.

Ended up saying "excuse me love, do you want my points?" To the old dear next to me at the self service so I got the discount (read: didn't get ripped off) anyway, but I felt like a kid asking an adult to get me a 10 pack of Sovereigns.

It really is a scam. It feels like the sort of think Martin Lewis should be getting on his cringe soapbox about.

[Ben]

He has done. And there was talk in the media last year of regulators putting a stop to it, but of course it's gone quiet.

We nipped in Tesco Extra last week for some non-grocery stuff. £66 at the till, wife's clubcard brought it down to £49. Scandalous really.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jesus. I didn't think it was that bad.

Sainsburys do it now with Nectar but not to that extent.

[Shindig]

I barely notice the difference with my weekly shop.

[niko_cee]

The fob on my keys broke a while back and my wife had the proper card. Popped in for a meal deal and was seething.
.

You know you can get it on your phone as a QR code? Think I have all the supermarket loyalty schemes on mine. I'm sure my data is of use to them, although I doubt how much seeing as I flit between them all and rarely do whole shops in one.

[Waffdon]

Usually get £10-15 off give or take.

And get sent two £4-£5 vouchers each month. Couple of free meal deals. Woo

[randomlegend]

Whole page discussion on clubcard vs nectar, what have we become.

I haven't even got any recent wanky restaurant pics to induce some seethe and firebomb this nonsense.

[Spikey M]

I'm working from home, so I can't even entice you with my coworkers Sheperd's Pie wrap or whatever travesty he's knocked up for lunch today.

[Manc]

M&S is the one for value. Their range is incredibly limited, though, so Waitrose it is.

[Spikey M]

Change his name from Manc to Surrey immediately.

[Jimmy Floyd]

M&S food is so bad. It's for nouveau riche plebs who don't know how to cook.

Waitrose is pretty good but about 80% of their stuff you can get for cheaper at Tesco or Sainsbury's, so I only really go to Waitrose for the niche items.

[Ben]

M&S food is so bad. It's for nouveau riche plebs who don't know how to cook.

Yours must be shite because the fresh produce at ours blows Aldi and Tesco (my two most local supermarkets) out of the park.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The veg section is full of pre-prepared bags and cut up fruit. Tesco and Sainsbury's have much bigger offerings, at least down here.

[Spikey M]

The M&S Mint and pea quiche is the best quiche I've ever had.

It's sad that that's probably the poshest thing I've ever said.

[phonics]

Mint and Pea? Like those are the two things it contains?

[Ben]

The veg section is full of pre-prepared bags and cut up fruit. Tesco and Sainsbury's have much bigger offerings, at least down here.

It must be on a shop-by-shop basis then. I hate getting pre-packaged fruit and veg (same reason I never use online delivery, I want to pick the best ones myself), and I'm never stuck for choice.

[Spikey M]

Mint and Pea? Like those are the two things it contains?

Amongst other ingredients, yes.

[Manc]

While this thread is booming, I should mention some controversial switches I've made to my diet recently. Duck eggs for chicken, goat milk for cow, and kefir in place of yoghurt.

[Pepe]

Woke breakfast if I ever saw one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The veg section is full of pre-prepared bags and cut up fruit. Tesco and Sainsbury's have much bigger offerings, at least down here.


It must be on a shop-by-shop basis then. I hate getting pre-packaged fruit and veg (same reason I never use online delivery, I want to pick the best ones myself), and I'm never stuck for choice.

It depends on how big the shop is.

We have a small M&S food and most of the fruit/veg is in bags with a very limited range of loose stuff but the next town over has a big M&S and their produce is great.

[Waffdon]

While this thread is booming, I should mention some controversial switches I've made to my diet recently. Duck eggs for chicken, goat milk for cow, and kefir in place of yoghurt.

The passion fruit kefir drink is incredible

Any milk other than from a cow is disgusting though. Pretending to enjoy almond milk whilst watching calories was painful

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I use almond milk :)

It's fine, obviously not a patch on actual milk but I mainly use it for shakes.

[phonics]

M&S is good for ready meals and that sort of stuff because everyones raised their prices but M&S haven't so the piece of shit you get at Tesco is the same price as the kind of decent M&S equivalent. The actual produce is not great.

Sainsburys is the current don daddy of the Supermarket world but I must admit that alot of that is due to their excellent meal deal. £3.50 for the best Ham & Cheese Sandwich (how unwoke of me) in the game + a decent range of snacks and if you time it right a large red bull or monster? Daddio you spoil me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I am a doyen of the bourgeois £5 meal deal which is equally good for the poncier palette. Obviously we meal deal enthusiasts must fight constantly against the erosion of our liberties / the idea that yoghurt is a 'main', but all is not yet lost.

[Manc]

Meal deals are a one-way ticket to the oncology ward.

[phonics]

I am a doyen of the bourgeois £5 meal deal which is equally good for the poncier palette. Obviously we meal deal enthusiasts must fight constantly against the erosion of our liberties / the idea that yoghurt is a 'main', but all is not yet lost.

The only thing Malvern has is a Waitrose so I must admit that I have indulged into a Smoked Salmon Cheese Sandwich + Prawns and a Monster. The annoying thing is that I'm then ID'd for my excellent choices.

One time I sushi + samosa + an oasis. I felt like a god.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Meal deals are a one-way ticket to the oncology ward.

Have you turned into one of these freaks who eat raw celery for breakfast?

[Ben]

I didn't realise the popularity of the meal deal was so widespread. I thought it was the cuisine of students and tradies.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tradesmen all eat heavy fried food, as far as I can observe from the town I work in. Meal deals are the office worker's delight, especially men.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Does Phonics only drink Monster/Red Bull?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Having earlier slated people who can't cook, I made the worst meal ever tonight. Spanish tortilla, I've made this thing loads of times, always comes out well, not this time. No idea what happened. The egg didn't distribute properly, the bottom burned, I could barely flip it, everything went wrong, I ended up eating a load of smouldering potato slices and detached egg from a plate.

Hot on the heels of my best ever bourguignon at the weekend, I'm shattered as a man. This could be it.

[phonics]

Does Phonics only drink Monster/Red Bull?

No but I don’t drink coffee so I’ll need a caffeine boost at some point in the day and you’re effectively getting a drink that can range between a pound seventy and three pound twenty at egregious corner shops for the equivalent of 70p.

[niko_cee]

It's probably a well known technique, but having not come across it until I recently had the taking to make a Spanish omelette, tipping the cooked potato/onion mix into the bowl where the eggs are, mixing and then putting it back into the pan was a bit of a revelation. I assume there is a way to cook it quicker/more easily than the painful and extremely high maintenance keep pushing the edges in style, although that was also quite satisfying when it worked.

There's some fancy small chain place in London [I went to one in Borough market] where they do 'runny' tortillas and I thought that was a bit of an affront to decency.

[Raoul Duke]

We have a place here that does Breton crepes - pretty authentic, from what I can gather. Excellent stuff

[Waffdon]

Does Phonics only drink Monster/Red Bull?

Idk how it took me this long to realise but getting your caffeine in (if you need it like) within an hour of waking up makes a huge difference. Wakes you up completely with absolutely no crash out. I only really need it when in the office as the body clock has me up until 1/2am most days.

Red bull does taste dangerously good though

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's probably a well known technique, but having not come across it until I recently had the taking to make a Spanish omelette, tipping the cooked potato/onion mix into the bowl where the eggs are, mixing and then putting it back into the pan was a bit of a revelation..

I now feel like that apocryphal France Is Bacon person.

[Giggles]

Speaking of food going down the shitter, I had my first fry in ages at the weekend and there wasn't a single piece of pudding on it. 2 eggs and some sort of relish instead - poor showing.

[Clunge]

Just back on meal deals, I remember a few years back, Sainsbury's absolutely fucked their meal deal. I seem to recall back then it was basically any sandwich/wrap, any drink, any crisps for £3. Then they went off and excluded all the more premium options and upped the price. I don't know when it happened, but they seem to have transitioned back to a £3.50 meal deal where just about anything goes and it is glorious, especially as they're now undercutting most places. I wonder if given the rise of 'extra', 'metro', 'local' stores with big supermarket brands on just about every street corner now, they realise they can get big cut-through and can also undercut the independents or wankier lunch options (without wishing to sound all metropolitan elite with my job in Zone 1 London, but have you seen the prices in Pret these days? Fuck me).

[Spikey M]

I didn't realise the popularity of the meal deal was so widespread. I thought it was the cuisine of students and tradies.

Did you miss the mass hand wringing when Tesco had to put up the price of theirs? The nations love of a Meal Deal is what ended Liz Truss.

[Giggles]

Sainsburys would be my pick of the British ones now for sure, mainly for their beer selection, but I find a lot of the food is decent too. Would always have been Asda before for seer selection of stuff.

[Spikey M]

Asda is the worst of the big 3, but easily beats Aldi and Lidl. Tesco (round here atleast] is king for the sheer size of it. It's twice the size of the local Sainsburys (selling twice the amount of stuff) and twice the quality of Asda.

Plus, people don't shop there in their pajamas like they do in Asda/Shoebury.

[Giggles]

I haven't went back to Tesco since they stopped letting you do a big shop unti 9am. Plus their staff that are doing the shopping for online orders are ignorant bastards.

The main scummery here is definitely in the Aldi and Lidl shops - you never see the likes of the same fucking about at checkouts, etc in the other supermarkets.

[Ben]

Idk how it took me this long to realise but getting your caffeine in (if you need it like) within an hour of waking up makes a huge difference. Wakes you up completely with absolutely no crash out. I only really need it when in the office as the body clock has me up until 1/2am most days.

Yeah some guy at work told me about this a couple of years ago and it's true. I do love coffee so I have a double espresso about an hour after waking and then usually another late morning and that's me for the day.

[Boydy]

I thought you weren't meant to take it within an hour of waking up because when you wake up is when your cortisol is at its highest and you need to let it come down a bit?

Although I don't listen to that and still have coffee first thing.

[Ben]

I'd never heard of that but anyway by the time I get round to it, I've been up about 90 minutes.

[Boydy]

What's with Colman's mustard these days? That shit's pathetic now. It used to be slightly too much from a new jar would have had your nose burning for a good five minutes. You can barely taste it nowadays.

[Ben]

They dropped the mustard flour content years ago.

[Boydy]

I see. It does feel like a long time my dad and I have been complaining about it now.

[Baz]

Does Phonics only drink Monster/Red Bull?I got a can of FUROCITY CHAMPION, Tyson Fury’s energy drink, in tropical flavour and it was basically just Lilt. Sugar free too. I could drink it forever. Played it safe and got 1 can (rather than the 4 for £1 deal I’ve mentioned elsewhere) then decided to go back for more and all the local school kids had emptied the shelves. :(

[randomlegend]

L'Enclume on Sunday :drool:

Cannot wait. The five hour drive I'm less looking forward to but needs must.

[Ben]

Isn’t it a five hour drive to anywhere in your arse end of the country? Norwich should be kicked out of the Football League to preserve the sanity of all away fans.

[randomlegend]

Only two hours to that London.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I asked my guy at work to plan a UK customer visit, any customer he thought best. He chose a company in Great Yarmouth. I tried explaining to him how fucking far away that is from London, but he wasn't having it. In his mind, everything in the country is either 'up north' or a simple cruise around the M25. When he gets onto his 7th hour of flat straight B roads in Norfolk he might understand.

His second choice was Northern Ireland, and he wouldn't have it that the best way to get there was by plane (he was looking at driving to Liverpool and then taking a ferry). He also didn't believe my claim that their airport is named after George Best, until I showed him on google maps. I'm not sure if it's geographical incompetence, or just trust issues.

[Boydy]

I think they've dropped the "George Best" stuff from City airport now.

It's still on Google maps but it's gone from their website: https://www.belfastcityairport.com/

[Pepe]

Naming an airport after a footballer can't be much worse than naming it after some middling politician.

[Boydy]

He was an alcoholic wife beater.

[Baz]

Or a popstar.

[Pepe]

He was an alcoholic wife beater.

The footballer or the middling politician?

[Waffdon]

He was an alcoholic wife beater.

Same with Gascoigne but the English still lap him up (especially Spikey)

[randomlegend]

I asked my guy at work to plan a UK customer visit, any customer he thought best. He chose a company in Great Yarmouth. I tried explaining to him how fucking far away that is from London, but he wasn't having it. In his mind, everything in the country is either 'up north' or a simple cruise around the M25. When he gets onto his 7th hour of flat straight B roads in Norfolk he might understand.


I'm sorry, he went to Great Yarmouth by choice?

[niko_cee]

I missed George Best getting cancelled, when did that happen?

Naming airports after people is a bit banana republic/American.

[Shindig]

It would be more 2024 if they lost out the naming rights which are now on a golf course in Jeddah.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I missed George Best getting cancelled, when did that happen?

Naming airports after people is a bit banana republic/American.

We'll start doing it soon, in conjunction with every other respect in which we are lowering ourselves to basal status. Can't wait for my first flight into London Turing.

[Shindig]

Just name Heathrow's terminals after Hogwarts houses. Or the Beatles.

[Lewis]

Windrush Air to Windrush (formerly London) Airport, get the Windrush Line into Windrush Junction...

[Lofty]

Veetee rice enjoyers: is it me or have they changed their packets and now the film wont pull off easily like before? Last 4 I've had I've resorted to a sharp knife to free the rice within.

[Shindig]

Had some Tuscan short rib at the works meal tonight. :drool:

[SvN]

My local chippy has started doing orange chips. That could be the end of me.

[Waffdon]

I had orange chicken at a Chinese the other week and it was absolutely disgusting. No surprise it’s Americanised

[Spikey M]

Just googled what orange chips are and I'm absolutely seething, both that I never encountered them whilst living up there and that they're not a thing down here. Battered chips ffs :drool:

[Kikó]

Can't wait to have a chippy dinner in a week or so. It was glorious last year.

[Giggles]

Slumming it with the 7th nationality peasants. Modern day hero.

[Kikó]

I think you're trying a bit hard with that one fella.

[Shindig]

Did you bring the walking boots?

[Kikó]

Leave them with the plebs every year :drool:

[randomlegend]

L'Enclume was incredible.

Don't worry, photos to come when I'm not on my phone.

[Baz]

1872230845114929438

[randomlegend]

L'Enclume was incredible.

Don't worry, photos to come when I'm not on my phone.

As promised, you lucky people:

https://i.imgur.com/oT4TDxz.jpeg

https://i.imgur.com/AlC7bmO.jpeg

Winter radish, pickled rose and Chalk Stream trout tart, Juices infused with aromatic flowers

https://i.imgur.com/2tXp4zF.jpeg

Fritter of Duroc pig and smoked eel, Lovage and fermented sweetcorn

https://i.imgur.com/gaFxnWz.jpeg

Corra Linn pudding caramelised in Birch sap, Stout vinegar, aged Corra Linn

https://i.imgur.com/vqLP1jd.jpeg

Boltardy beetroot with hogweed, Rosehips and salted West Coast mackerel

https://i.imgur.com/JrI6mmR.jpeg

Seaweed custard, beef broth and bone marrow. Maldon oysters, beef tendons

https://i.imgur.com/ix0MU0w.jpeg

Mylor prawns in aged pork fat, Crown Prince squash, caramelised apple and lemon verbena

https://i.imgur.com/LmccWH9.jpeg

Fuseau artichoke, crosnes and Welsh truffle, Ragstone, tarragon, soft yolk

https://i.imgur.com/lSaqxz5.jpeg

Orkney scallop with dried roe powder, King oyster mushroom and broth infused with pine

https://i.imgur.com/5Jq0Etf.jpeg

Red King Edward potatoes cooked with aromats, Musselburgh leeks, black garlic, smoked pike perch roe

https://i.imgur.com/42TsC2g.jpeg

Cornish cod, Harp spinach, Gem lettuce, razor clams and horseradish leaf

https://i.imgur.com/tY9KHpd.jpeg

Cartmel Valley roe deer, salted currants, Kalibos cabbage, juniper, caramelised chestnut

https://i.imgur.com/AkvidnB.jpeg

Frozen Tunworth cheese, Malt crumb, quince and lemon thyme

https://i.imgur.com/XFutOvz.jpeg

Penny cherries, pumpkin seed and our peach leaves, Caramelised molasses, oxalis

https://i.imgur.com/xcqB77w.jpeg

“Anvil” Caramel mousse with our miso, apple and spruce

https://i.imgur.com/Xu1ONV8.jpeg

Cheese

https://i.imgur.com/ZXA6ypj.jpeg

Apple Marigold ice cream cone, pine cone ganache filled chocolate, caramelised quince tart, mint stones

[Dark Soldier]

That's all great like but did you just get 32 pigs in blankets from your local Sainsburys for tea did you fuck.

[Dark Soldier]

fuckin majestic

https://i.ibb.co/qFscY6N/1000022204.jpg

[Foe]

One vote for pigs in blankets.

[Giggles]

Looks short on blankets. Would still demolish though.

[Dark Soldier]

Looks short on blankets. Would still demolish though.

Flung em all in the air fryer and gave em a shuffle halfway through. The blankets are there, just lost in the grease.

[Manc]

Lost in the grease would be a strong name for your memoir.

[Clunge]

The pizza in this should be a capital offence on its own https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9q7wyzpvlpo

[randomlegend]

I'd like to renege on my previously stated position on the death penalty.

[Shindig]

I hope this woman gets trampled by cows. Mushroom is a topping, not a base.

[Ben]

“TikTok recipes” :facepalm:

[Giggles]

That's up there with cauliflower "steak".

[randomlegend]

I presume you've all been watching the Michelin ceremony this evening?

[niko_cee]

Indeed not, where has become prohibitively expensive?

I always remember being done out of a trip the the Ledbury by the Icelandic volcano, and then it got a load of stars and tripled in cost, and then it shut down, although it seems to be open again.

[Pepe]

F1 thread is over there, mate.

[randomlegend]

Indeed not, where has become prohibitively expensive?

I always remember being done out of a trip the the Ledbury by the Icelandic volcano, and then it got a load of stars and tripled in cost, and then it shut down, although it seems to be open again.

Yeah Ledbury went from two to three last year.

The Ritz finally got it's second star. Moor Hall the new three star for the year.

Both places we've got booked - Plates and Skof - got one.

Mark Poynton at Caister Hall near us got one as well; already had it on our list to try so will probably book it.

Humble Chicken has always seemed cool and they went from one to two. Might try book it for my birthday.

Sketch inexplicably still clinging onto three.

[Pepe]

What's the max number of stars? I assume star inflation will become an issue someday, or do they have some sort of limit of stars and for someone to get one someone else must lose theirs?

[randomlegend]

Three is the max. I'd imagine there is a degree of inflation kept somewhat in check by places closing. They do take stars away as well. A fair few one stars will lose theirs each year. Demotions from two are fairly uncommon and from three very uncommon, but still do happen. Guy Savoy in Paris went from three to two a couple of years ago, for example.

I get the impression some of the UK three stars probably warrant a downgrade, but haven't personally been to any of those ones to comment.

[Pepe]

The level of corruption the whole thing must entail. :drool:

[niko_cee]

Taking the stars away causes chef suicide which naturally limits the numbers.

Do the stars now mean your bookings have gone from £150 a head to £250 a head RL?

[randomlegend]

Taking the stars away causes chef suicide which naturally limits the numbers.

Do the stars now mean your bookings have gone from £150 a head to £250 a head RL?

Plates was at £90 and Skof £165 prior to the announcement. We'll see where they are in a couple of weeks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is the committee Charles de Gaulle, Joan of Arc and the Montgolfier brothers expecting everyone to cook sole meuniere and onion soup to get their stars, or have they internationalised it?

[randomlegend]

Is the committee Charles de Gaulle, Joan of Arc and the Montgolfier brothers expecting everyone to cook sole meuniere and onion soup to get their stars, or have they internationalised it?

Japanese is probably most on trend with the Michelin guide at the moment, but really all sorts of styles do get their stars. The three stars in the UK are mostly pretty different from one another.

No price increases from the places we've got booked yet :yn:

[Dark Soldier]

https://i.ibb.co/jB6CGh3/20250228-183524.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

On the Atkins diet, are we?

[Dark Soldier]

If that is known as the fat cunt diet, aye

[Jimmy Floyd]

I didn't glimpse the chips first time around. Mea culpa.

[Pepe]

Get rid of the lettuce and the onion and it looks ok.

[Dark Soldier]

Last time there was no lettuce and Taz said I'd die.

[Lewis]

I had a meat 'n' chips in Southampton a few weeks ago and it came with chip shop style chips. In theory that isn't a massive difference, but the whole balance of it was off and I was gutted.

[niko_cee]

Apropos of the drinking/hangover discussion elsewhere, I had this for lunch today, which struck me as being an excellent hangover remedy.

https://i.ibb.co/JwB28Z9f/Photo-from-Nick-Clarkson-7.jpg (https://ibb.co/W4xF7CLb)

Basically a fairly substantial full English, bacon, sausage, fried egg, mushrooms, tomato in club sandwich form.

Monstrous.

[Pepe]

Last time there was no lettuce and Taz said I'd die.

He's dead now, so maybe best to not follow his advice.

[Giggles]

Fuck you DS, now I’m going on Just Eat.

Sans salad of course.

[Giggles]

Apropos of the drinking/hangover discussion elsewhere, I had this for lunch today, which struck me as being an excellent hangover remedy.

https://i.ibb.co/JwB28Z9f/Photo-from-Nick-Clarkson-7.jpg (https://ibb.co/W4xF7CLb)

Basically a fairly substantial full English, bacon, sausage, fried egg, mushrooms, tomato in club sandwich form.

Monstrous.

All good on the fillings but that needs to be in bread/bap/baguette, not bloody toast.

[Dark Soldier]

Fuck you DS, now I’m going on Just Eat.

Sans salad of course.

Tbf it is the first veg that hasn't been on a burger that I've had in about a month. Enjoy lad.

[Shindig]

Yeah, I've had them in baps and it just felt proper.

[niko_cee]

All good on the fillings but that needs to be in bread/bap/baguette, not bloody toast.

Yeah, I thought it was going to come out as some sort of ungodly bun type thing [I think it had previously been on the specials menu as a breakfast bap], but I guess the logic is that toast is in the breakfast, so toast goes into the abomination.

It actually worked quite well with the middle layer of toast.

Oh yeah, it had burger cheese in it as well.

[phonics]

I have no idea who cares about this but remember Walkers did worcestershire sauce crisps. They're selling them for one day but only in worcester. Does anyone want some?

[niko_cee]

No, they were shit, but I also didn't know they stopped doing them. Good purple pack. Do they still do the tomato sauce ones [also wank]? All variations on the prawn cocktail theme. I assume they still make them, but now am worried that I haven't seen the pink packs in the supermarkets for a while.

[randomlegend]

The Max Strong prawn cocktail crisps are the best crisps there is.

[Giggles]

Green McCoys will never be beaten, but all those Walkers Max Strong ones are pretty class.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Went to Fallow today.

Tried the corn ribs, beef ribs, mushroom parfait and the crispy pig's head.

Everything was delicious but I think my favourite was the beef rib, that was so damn good.

Here's a picture of the head:

https://i.imgur.com/ZJBVrda.jpeg

[phonics]

Question on food prep. I've bought myself from English Muffins. Is there a way I could pre-prep eggs to make some 'We've got Sausage Egg McMfuffins at home' style lunches?

I was thinking of just poaching some eggs and cooking some sausage pattys, putting them together and then shoving them in the mic at work for 30 seconds. But I'm not sure how the eggs would keep?

[randomlegend]

They'll keep fine for a few days. Microwaving them will end any chances of a soft yolk I'd imagine but then the McMuffin ones aren't anyway.

[Disco]

It's essentially a hard boiled egg, it'll be fine.

[phonics]

It's essentially a hard boiled egg, it'll be fine.

I figured the shell was what kept them fine. So I can just shove them in a tupperware box for a few days?

[randomlegend]

I would think so. Other option is hard boil them and peel them as you need them.

[Disco]

The shell is permeable as soon as you boil it so it doesn't really do much in that regard. I assume the upside of poaching them is that they fit in the muffin and you don't have to play egg tetris and look like even more of a nerd.

[Dark Soldier]

just cunt the eggs in the fuckin bin and get a breakfast kebab

[Spikey M]

You could always just buy one of those microwave egg poaching thingamejigs.

[phonics]

That'd be useful for me to carry back and forth to the office.

[Spikey M]

Soz m8, didn't realise having a desk drawer was that much of a privilege.

[phonics]

Yeah being the guy who has a desk dedicated to poaching eggs wouldn't out me as a complete fucking weirdo. I'm asking about making a sandwich and your solution is to bring a fucking Ninja AirFryer to work.

[randomlegend]

I'm curious what you're picturing that you think you'll have to "dedicate" your desk to storing one.

[phonics]

I have a desk. It contains my computer and a job in tray. This is insane that I’m having to justify that bringing a dedicated egg poacher to work wouldnt result in being a mentally depraved weirdo.

[niko_cee]

Is a 'dedicated egg poacher' thing one of those weird little plastic/silicone cup things?

[phonics]

Not feeling great about the NHS to know that RL has unplugged a child’s breathing apparatus to make a few madeleines for lunch.

[randomlegend]

It's not a plug in appliance. It's a little silicone cup you put the egg in and then put in the microwave.

[Dquincy]

I have a desk. It contains my computer and a job in tray. This is insane that I’m having to justify that bringing a dedicated egg poacher to work wouldnt result in being a mentally depraved weirdo.

How the fuck do you not know what a microwave egg poacher is.

[Giggles]

How the fuck do you not know what a microwave egg poacher is.

It's like he thinks he'll need to put microwave and all in the drawer.

[randomlegend]

You'd have thought at some point in this exchange he'd have googled to see what it is rather than just ploughing on despite the bemusement of all and sundry.

[Dquincy]

It's like he thinks he'll need to put microwave and all in the drawer.

:lol:

[Ben]

https://images.dunelm.com/30205054.jpg

Ninja Air Fryer.

[Shindig]

I need to see if my parents still have theirs. :D

In the meantime I picked up a sticky toffee brionut yesterday that felt like it took a year off my life. I'm also not sure there's enough donut to warrant the name. It was like a brioche shell casing for a cream bomb.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Microwave or egg poacher?

[Shindig]

Poacher. They use the microwave religiously. I maintain it's a terrible way to cook bacon. Or most meats. I do not understand their distrust of electric ovens after using gas ones for so long.

[niko_cee]

Bacon in the microwave?

[Dark Soldier]

Yeah an ex once made me a bacon sarnie with bacon done in the microwave. Its like eating the labia of a corpse.

[Disco]

I had no idea what a microwave poacher was either, I always cook them normally like a non-spastic.

[Waffdon]

Phonics is danger to society it must be said

[Shindig]

Yeah an ex once made me a bacon sarnie with bacon done in the microwave. Its like eating the labia of a corpse.

Yeah, I can't think of a better way to describe it.

[Manc]

Heating eggs in the work microwave is depraved behaviour. Thrown in some Salmon while your at it, you sick fuck.

[randomlegend]

Spanish nurse heated up squid in the work microwave the other day. Bold.

[Spikey M]

Heating eggs in the work microwave is depraved behaviour. Thrown in some Salmon while your at it, you sick fuck.

Granted, but if you're going to fuck around making your own Rustlers burger for breakfast, you can atleast have a fresh egg.

[Spikey M]

Yeah being the guy who has a desk dedicated to poaching eggs wouldn't out me as a complete fucking weirdo. I'm asking about making a sandwich and your solution is to bring a fucking Ninja AirFryer to work.

:face:

[Spikey M]

I had no idea what a microwave poacher was either, I always cook them normally like a non-spastic.

I've never used one. I fry my eggs, like a MAN, but either way, he's not going to fit his gas cooker in his drawer, is he, m8?

[Ben]

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56d3378e37013be34dc31ea3/1561262076534-YGDN5UU3IFPYI7AAMYHA/LRM_EXPORT_112479016096334_20181018_020428695.jpeg

[Spikey M]

:D problem solved.

[Pepe]

Eating eggs at work should be illegal.

[SvN]

That whole exchange - including phonics just abandoning the thread when he realised what people were talking about - has really tickled me :D Vintage TTH

[Dquincy]

Yeah an ex once made me a bacon sarnie with bacon done in the microwave. Its like eating the labia of a corpse.
On a similar note, when I was younger, a lass was trying to seduce me, which included her making me a bacon sarnie with the microwave. That, along with her greasy hair, made me run for the hills.

[phonics]

That whole exchange - including phonics just abandoning the thread when he realised what people were talking about - has really tickled me :D Vintage TTH

I went to bed and I'm still not sure what anyones implying?

[randomlegend]

Less "implying" more "explicitly describing".

[Spikey M]

What a hill to die on.

[Waffdon]

I went to bed and I'm still not sure what anyones implying?

:hug:

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a bloke in our warehouse who was somehow managing to scramble eggs in the microwave. This resulted in the banning of all hot food in the building, on the basis that 'In my day we just ate sandwiches'.

[niko_cee]

Scrambled eggs in the microwave is pretty easy.

They're not as good as making them properly, and it's not much less of a ballache as you constantly have to stop the thing to stir them and then put them back, but satisfactory results can be achieved.

Not really what a work microwave should be used for though.

[Ben]

Scrambling eggs in the work microwave is common practice here. But then we also have an air fryer (!) and George Foreman grill so I guess our culture is completely different.

[Giggles]

We've fuck all apart from a couple of microwaves but one of the south Americans does far too many fish days. Place does be humming.

[Shindig]

We've got ovens in our place because it used to be a catering college. Nobody uses them and instead favour the microwave.

[Lofty]

I bought some posh eggs on a whim at the weekend and was looking forward to having the final 2 for breakfast this morning, only to discover my wife had decided to use them for microwave scrambled eggs instead of the bog standard ones :moop:

[Giggles]

Posh as in different bird, or like free range/corn fed chicken ones?

[Pepe]

Scrambling eggs at work. :lol:

[niko_cee]

What productivity crisis?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Inspired by this thread I think I'm going to buy myself one of those portable plug-in hot plates and cook a full fried breakfast at my desk each morning. It'll be nice to have a range of cooking oils alongside the stationery and business card holders.

[Manc]

Bosh!

[Spikey M]

Inspired by this thread I think I'm going to buy myself one of those portable plug-in hot plates and cook a full fried breakfast at my desk each morning. It'll be nice to have a range of cooking oils alongside the stationery and business card holders.

Don't forget to get an egg timer.

https://i.ibb.co/vvvnQK2C/Screenshot-20250318-122110-Samsung-Internet.jpg

[randomlegend]

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51VrLbvoSAL._AC_UF894,1000_QL80_.jpg

And one of these.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Install an extractor fan to get rid of the smells.

[Shindig]

Just a desk fan should do, really

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nah he needs an industrial fucker, make sure none of his colleagues are annoyed by the smells.

[Pepe]

He's the manager now. He should be optimizing for maximum annoyance.

[Spikey M]

I wonder if you can do Kippers in a microwave poacher.

[Ben]

There's a semi-regular kipper microwaver in our secondary office block. I'd be seething if I was seated in there permanently but it's just an accepted part of life over there. Fucking miners, scruffy as fuck.

[Lofty]

Posh as in different bird, or like free range/corn fed chicken ones?

Some 'rich yolk' ones in a fancy box I saw in the supermarket. The yolks were definitely more orange.



Inspired by this thread I think I'm going to buy myself one of those portable plug-in hot plates and cook a full fried breakfast at my desk each morning. It'll be nice to have a range of cooking oils alongside the stationery and business card holders.


My great grandad had a set up in his locker at the shipyard he could cook bacon and eggs on by all accounts.

[phonics]

The ones my mum get from waitrose have nuclear orange yolks. Don't know how they get like that.

[niko_cee]

Don't they just feed the chickens orange food dye, or something similarly absurd?

[Ben]

You could have those delicious yolks right at your desk if you weren't such a fud.

[Disco]

Don't they just feed the chickens orange food dye, or something similarly absurd?

Better feed, better conditions. You aren't allowed to use outright dyes but corn or corn based additives can have the same effect. The very pale coloured supermarkets eggs are basically battery farmed.

[randomlegend]

I read they just feed them marigolds.

[Shindig]

I read they they feed them back to the chickens that laid them and that produces the super yolks.

[Disco]

Yolk²

[Lewis]

Don't forget to get an egg timer.

https://i.ibb.co/vvvnQK2C/Screenshot-20250318-122110-Samsung-Internet.jpg

:lol:

[niko_cee]

Might have to move up / expedite my plans to go to Interlude seeing as the chef is absolutely cleaning house on Great British Menu.

[randomlegend]

Huh, small coincidence, just googled to see where Interlude is and seen it's in Brighton, where I currently happen to be for two days for the first time in my life for a training course.

£195 a head is ambitious pricing for a 1* outside London but it does look good.

On the note of pricing, I had a look at Ynyshir the other day and they've quietly changed their price from £385 a head (already bonkers) to £385+VAT i.e £462. Fuckin' ooft.

[niko_cee]

It's not in Brighton. It's at Leonardslee which is a national trust type place just outside Horsham. Very near to South Lodge where The Pass also has a star [and that ginger masterchef professional kid].

Was going to book for later in the year but it is shut on my birthday and I baulked at paying up front.

62 degrees in Brighton was good, as is etch in Hove.

[Ben]

GBM has been top notch this year.

[Giggles]

That lost the run of itself a long time ago, has it gone back any simpler?

[Manc]

Andi Oliver is some bald.

[randomlegend]

Last I watched it there was still a load of THE BRIEF screeching going on and Andi Oliver is annoying as fuck.

[niko_cee]

This one has been much better for THE BRIEF as it's pretty loose.

The interlude guy had by far the best dessert in the heats so it'll be interesting to see if it is even possible to get three courses.

It's a real headfuck as well as he appears to be a genuinely nice South African.

[Ben]

I meant top notch is in the quality of chef rather than the production of the programme. It's still got really egregious bits, just like MasterChef Professionals, but you can usually look past it when the food is so exceptional.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's no salad-less doner kebab though, is it?

[Giggles]

Not much of it anyway I'd say.

[randomlegend]

Will have to give this series a go then.

I'm always curious what would happen if you got one of the absolute heavyweights on there, like Clare Smyth or Simon Rogan or someone (I think Rogan may have competed in a much earlier series).

Would they just don everyone? Would be interesting.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Smyth and Rogan have both been on.

Smyth lost in the heats to Danny Millar with Rogan winning the dessert course on his only season.

This was his dish:

Poached pears, atsina cress snow, sweet cheese ice cream and rosehip syrup

https://64.media.tumblr.com/0cfe8761aa536e19fc8fc86f57886500/51ff32a17f8e779b-2f/s500x750/a5f434cd53a45ae249287d1783d74b07a5250702.jpg

I haven't watched GBM in years, used to watch it religiously.

[randomlegend]

So she was. That was in 2012 though. I want to see someone of that reputation at the height of their powers.

Heston would probably be my top choice but he's sadly addled by his bipolar meds these days, and obviously none of them would risk their reputation.

[niko_cee]

They don't get to bring their army of minions, so probably get tanked by some plucky food truck 'amateur'.

[randomlegend]

They don't really have food truck chefs on there do they? They're all traditional chefs from restaurants which are pretty highly rated in their own right, many with stars, from what I've seen and remember.

Clare Smyth is at Core cooking most of the time, I don't think she's someone who'd fall apart at being asked to actually cook the food herself.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, I was being flippant.

It tends to go more the other way with the 'private chefs' often being miles out of their depth when they get on.

[randomlegend]

Going back to the subject of Heston Blumenthal, I never realised quite how bonkers his story actually is. I'd always heard he was "self-taught" but assumed that just meant he wasn't classically trained.

Turns out he actually just bought the Fat Duck and installed himself as the only chef having never worked a day in a professional kitchen in his life. Took it from nothing to 3 Michelin stars and winning the best restaurant in the world. It's mad.

He did apparently get onto a prestigious scholarship at La Manoir in his teens but left a week in.

[randomlegend]

Was at Plates tonight. Genuinely blown away. Going purely on the food I'd have it as the third best restaurant we've ever been to, only behind L'Enclume and Core.

It being vegan makes it even more impressive but doesn't gain it any points in terms of where I'm ranking it. It is that good in its own right.

The chocolate dessert is the best dessert I've ever had.

[Manc]

No pictures? You've fallen off.

[randomlegend]

I'll post them when I'm home. Ball ache on mobile.

[randomlegend]

https://i.imgur.com/5Moe3xH.jpeg

https://i.imgur.com/hfUK1AA.jpeg

Wild garlic soup & potato dumplings. Sour apple & buckwheat truffle

https://i.imgur.com/WnNmUaN.jpeg

Amela tomato, house ricotta, sour gooseberry, raddish & frozen tarragon. Barbecued tomato broth

https://i.imgur.com/AaIjEME.jpeg

House laminated sourdough bread, whipped spirulina butter, Maldon salt

https://i.imgur.com/R2nVTVs.jpeg

Barbecued Maitake mushroom, black bean mole, kimchi, aioli & puffed rice

https://i.imgur.com/EzgxkFM.jpeg

Jersey royal potatoes, watercress, pickled onions, loquats, miso & yeast sauce, wakame

https://i.imgur.com/WaM6MTH.jpeg

Caramelised lions mane, cauliflower cream, smoked shio koji, rhubarb, fermented green peppercorn sauce

https://i.imgur.com/yGhDwaS.jpeg

Mint ice cream, chewy beets, sweet pea & kombu

https://i.imgur.com/dkSrQyR.jpeg

Raw cacao gateau, sour cherry, coconut blossom ice cream, African pepper, toasted macadamia & raw caramel sauce

[niko_cee]

That menu looks a bit better than the one I had there. That bread was mega, as I recall.

The vegan place in Soho [Gauthier?] did similar very cool bread.

[hfswjyr]

Scrolling half way through I genuinely couldn't tell if the captions were below or above the photos. They could have been either from all I could gather.

[Shindig]

That garlic soup looks like trothy goblin piss.