Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

[mugbull]

Pan fried broccoli with soy sauce imo

[randomlegend]

Pan fried broccoli with soy sauce imo

And toasted cashews.

Definitely ditch the parmesan, that'll be odd with the Asian flavours.

[niko_cee]

Probably better ditching the fried rice and not making it asian-inspired. Get mustard on the chops as well in the marinade/glaze and stick some sort of potato starch item in (maybe move the garlic element from the chops to the broccoli).

Honey mustard chops, garlic broccoli, crushed/fried potato w/bacon & herb.

[niko_cee]

Or just go full Nigella (https://www.nigella.com/recipes/mustard-pork-chops)

[Clunge]

After enjoying a week off I return to finally being allowed to do the meat/fish specials. I went with meat and so far I've come up with honey & garlic pork chops, fried rice with bacon and a side of broccoli sprinkled with Parmesan. I don't need it until tomorrow but does that sound nice? I can imagine the plate in my head.

Suggestions welcome. Any meat except lamb ideally. Venison, duck etc are all acceptable but I figured pork chops would practically sell themselves. Thoughts?
Sounds fine as three individual things, but doesn’t make a lot of sense together. If you have pork chops, try seasoning them on both sides, cook them for a good five/six mins on each side so they’ve got some colour and crust. Then keep all the juices, add a knob of butter and a tablespoon of dijon mustard and about four tablespoons of creme fraiche. Cook it down gently and serve on the pork (don’t forget to stir in the resting juices). Serve with plain rice and just some broccoli on the side. That’s a more cohesive plate to me. Good old French campsite recipe that.

[Clunge]

Or ditch the bacon and go full asian, as above. A sweet, sticky, soy, sugar, chilli, ginger and anise reduction is delicious with pork.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Anyone get meat from Morrisons?

I was in one tonight and they had a far bigger selection of cuts than the likes of Asda/Tesco. Whole trout for £2.50 as well which is a winner, if you can be arsed gutting them yourself.

[Smjffy]

Thanks for suggestions. I tweaked a little by going with tenderloin.

Honey & garlic medallions, fried rice with peas and bacon, roasted green beans and tenderstem broccoli with cherry Tom's. Chilli oil dressing too.

[Ian]

I dunno how much I personally would like it as I'm a bit fussy with pork that isn't in ham/bacon/gammon form but that looks pretty swish, Smiff.

[Spikey M]

I always feel like the shitest mixed race person ever. I'm white, I feel white, I don't know what it would be to feel black.

Then this happened:

1172463645768503297?s=19

and I realised I'm basically Bob Marley.

Obvs Smiff wasn't going for the 'rice 'n pea' angle, but it still makes me smile.

[Pepe]

After reading the whole thing I still don't get what the issue is. Something about the peas?

[Shindig]

They're frustrated you don't have to assemble the meal yourself.

[niko_cee]

'Rice and peas' isn't actually rice and peas.

That effort is some Honki cultural appropriation.

[Smjffy]

I sold seven in the end. Quite pleased as I was nervous that it might not suit the area.

Ian I know what you mean. A lot of what I make I personally wouldn't eat but I try to be open minded. You get a good idea though based on other dishes we have on the actual menu, slow cooked pork sells well, my skewers went quite quick etc.

I think a lot is trial and error but it's hard coming up with things for the first time, making them for the first time then using the guests as Guinea pigs but since I haven't that much experience there's not much else I can do except imagine what it'll taste like, look like etc. Then there's the costs that you have to take into account. Thankfully I've more than covered the costs of the ingredients after the first two sold. Keep it on for tomorrow then see about a fish special for Monday.

[Spikey M]

After reading the whole thing I still don't get what the issue is. Something about the peas?

There are no peas in rice and peas. It's Kidney Beans. It's like going to Jamaica and being served Fish and chips with mushy peas, but the peas are mushy Kidney Beans and the fish is your mums cunt.

[Giggles]

Why do the mongs call kidney beans peas?

[Pepe]

Lol at complaining about the authenticity of foreign dishes. As if you mongs get the cuisine from any country right.

[Giggles]

Lol at complaining about the authenticity of foreign dishes. As if you mongs get the cuisine from any country right.

No country gets foreign cuisine right. I don't know how you think you're the special exception.

[Pepe]

No country gets foreign cuisine right. I don't know how you think you're the special exception.

I didn't mean that just you get it wrong, I agree that everyone gets it wrong.

[Giggles]

There's usually a sense of superiority when it comes to food so you'll forgive me for coming to that conclusion.

[mugbull]

Luckily we have no cuisine for anyone to misappropriate. Knödel and goulash can be found nowhere

[Spikey M]

I had a 'mixed grill' in Prague that came covered in a dodgey gravy. It was alright, but the East of Europe needs to learn that not everything needs to be a stew.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You go to crap places.

[Spikey M]

Bit racist mate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sorry, I will sign up to an awareness course and buy some books to better myself.

[Baz]

Lots of OKTOBERFEST things popping up cos, y’know, it’s October.

What’s the deal with sauerkraut? Literally adds nothing. Haven’t Germans heard of fried onions?

[Giggles]

None for us because of insurance cunts :(

[mugbull]

Lots of OKTOBERFEST things popping up cos, y’know, it’s October.

What’s the deal with sauerkraut? Literally adds nothing. Haven’t Germans heard of fried onions?

Sauerkraut is fucking amazing. There’s nothing like it. Fried onions are completely different

[Spikey M]

Baz has some properly inexcusable opinions. What a cunt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c0/Schweinshaxe_Chiang_Mai.JPG/1280px-Schweinshaxe_Chiang_Mai.JPG

Just looking at that meal gives me butterflies.

[mugbull]

That’s literally the Czech national dish. I could eat that for every meal until the end of time

[mugbull]

The most underrated part is the “potatoes” which are actually potato dumplings and 20x better than regular potato slices

[Lewis]

Why is it all pork in Germany? Pig meat is usually a poverty country (Spain, Italy, East Asia) thing because you can raise them on litter, but there they are, historically a reasonably prosperous region, basing everything on that.

[mugbull]

Presumably for the same reason they have a trade surplus and pay their workers too little. Keeping costs down even when they really don’t need to and stifling domestic consumption

[Giggles]

For once Baz is correct.

[Smjffy]

...then see about a fish special for Monday.

So I did it.

I went for Rainbow Trout, Parmentier Potatoes and Sauted Peppers with a simple white wine and dill sauce. Pea puree too because presentation.

It's been selling which is great although I haven't had much feedback in way of taste other than empty plates which is reassuring.

This week I've had to make a few sauces for the first time, Peppercorn sauce, Mushroom and Stilton, Thai sauce. It's a right ballache making in batches. Thai sauce is a bitch to get the balance right apparently but I managed it on my first go although I'm unsure about the peppercorn sauce, I think it's a little too thick and bossman was off so I couldn't ask how to fix it. More cream?

I'm really getting the hang of steaks which is awesome as it's so hard cooking to temp, especially when you have a few on at the same time. I've sussed it though, I was cooking to the temp then letting it rest so now I know to cook it just under and let it rest as it'll sort itself out, more or less.

I really think I've come on a long way in the last few weeks if I'm being totally honest but I still wish I was better and more consistent. Anyhow, here's the fish dish.

https://i.ibb.co/R0bs0j9/EFFECTS.jpg

[Smjffy]

Today I need to come up with a special for arctic char. At the moment I've got the char, sautéed spinach and new potato, roasted cherry Tom and green beans, caper creme freche and lemon buerre noisette to finish.

Yay or nay? Difficult one to come up with this one.

I also need to do a curry as I have no meat special but I've never made one without using an uncle Ben's.

[Ian]

I also need to do a curry as I have no meat special but I've never made one without using an uncle Ben's.
Giggles

[Lewis]

I was in London today, so I had a mooch up to the St. John bakery because the Spectator recommended their 'famous' donuts (how little I have to do at work), and the one I had was spectacular.

[Giggles]

Was it a standard one or fancy flavour?

[Lewis]

It just had custard in it, but the custard was the best custard ever.

[Giggles]

That would do :drool:

[Ian]

I had a mooch round the St. Enoch Christmas market last night and saw that they've changed up what stalls it has after a few years where it seemed to largely be the same ones. The massive garlic prawns on the French-themed stall looked fucking immense and I shall definitely be going back for some once I have literally any money.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I swear this pay month has been about 19 weeks long.

[Ian]

I mean I lose a lot of my money on day 1 to bills, debt and rent anyway but even bearing that in mind I somehow seemed to have spent all my money by about the 5th without any massive extravagances.

[Ian]

Just had my first ever katsu curry at Panko in Glasgow. It was rather good and a good portion too.

[John]

Panko is great. I only actually get something about half the times I intend to though because it's usually queued out the door.

I went to The Dabbha for lunch the other day and it was incredible value for a tenner.

[Ian]

Yeah it was queued out the door and full of people waiting for their orders today but to be fair they're absolutely rapid so they must have most of it prepped.

[Smjffy]

Just got 2KG of rump for a fiver off the local butcher. Phwarrr.

Tonight's tea will be veg, potato and meat. Mmm mm.

[-james-]

Best Indian I've had in Glasgow lately was Swadish. The Tandoori Cauliflower Steak a particular highlight.

They also do a blue cheese naan which I didn't get for some reason but am very eager to go back for

[John]

They've been dominating my Facebook adverts lately to the point where I don't want to go out of principle. It does look great though.

[Spikey M]

Just got 2KG of rump for a fiver off the local butcher. Phwarrr.

Tonight's tea will be veg, potato and meat. Mmm mm.

Rump of what? Because it ain't cow.

[phonics]

If it’s anything like the ‘Butchers’ in Swansea it’s just reselling stolen meat.

[Boydy]

Doing veganuary at the minute and going to a Mexican place tomorrow night with work. They've got plenty of options so that's fine but has anyone ever had nopales (pickled cactus)? They've got quesadillas and tacos with that in it. I'm tempted to try it but have no idea what it'll be like. Pepe?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I went to a Thai restaurant for the first time today, there's been a place in town for years but despite wanting to go didn't until earlier.

Went for a set menu with mixed starters (crispy squid, duck and prawn see through spring rolls, chicken satay and prawn toast), mango chicken, pad kra pao moo (pork belly with thai basil in a sauce), pad talay (mixed seafood and veg in a spicy sauce), stir fried mixed veg and some sticky rice.

It was delicious and I'll have to go again as the menu looked seriously good.

[Raoul Duke]

Thai is great but tends to get a bit coconut-tastic unless you watch out.

[Giggles]

Doing veganuary at the minute and going to a Mexican place tomorrow night with work. They've got plenty of options so that's fine but has anyone ever had nopales (pickled cactus)? They've got quesadillas and tacos with that in it. I'm tempted to try it but have no idea what it'll be like. Pepe?

Careful the change doesn’t mess with your cycle.

[Baz]

Thai is great but tends to get a bit coconut-tastic unless you watch out.

I really like Thai food but my mate kinda ruined it for me by correctly describing it as wet Chinese food.

[Disco]

Jungle Curry :drool:

[mugbull]

The reason I like Thai is because it’s the only cuisine that can get properly, properly spicy. That and some types of Indian food, but Indian food is a lot less “casual eating”

[Offshore Toon]

Thai is the best cuisine by far. The range of curries is spectacular, especially compared to Indian. Chinese, at least our bastardised version, is for children.

[igor_balis]

Thai is the best cuisine by far. The range of curries is spectacular, especially compared to Indian. Chinese, at least our bastardised version, is for children.

I love a grotty hungover Chinese, but I think fiat 500 girl Twitter saying she pure wanted salt and pepper pork sums it up quite well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In the greasy shite world a good Chinese is king. I found a place near me that does a pile of greasy fucking shite and chilli chips for seven quid, ideal Friday night fare.

Thai has somewhat stolen my heart from Indian in recent years as it is nowhere near as stodgy.

[Giggles]

Kebab is my dirt of choice.

[Pepe]

Doing veganuary at the minute and going to a Mexican place tomorrow night with work. They've got plenty of options so that's fine but has anyone ever had nopales (pickled cactus)? They've got quesadillas and tacos with that in it. I'm tempted to try it but have no idea what it'll be like. Pepe?

Not sure if it's too late, but nopales are good. They are slightly crunchy and have a bit of a lemony flavor. The main issue with them is that if not done properly, they come out as if coated with drool, which can be a turn off.

[Ian]

Still the 'spicy bag' for me. A massive heap of salt and chilli chicken and chips. Glorious stuff.

[Giggles]

Rice - pressure cooker - perfection.

[Adamski]

Made a beef rendang tonight. Excellent but used shit supermarket diced beef. Might do it again next week with lamb from the butchers.

[Ian]

Got a good Itison deal for chateaubriand at Bo'Vine in Glasgow. Was absolutely outstanding. Not a chance I'd pay whatever ludicrous price it is usually but for what we paid it was fucking delicious.

I also don't normally go a sauce with my steak but my friend wanted peppercorn so I had a bit of hers and it was ace .

[Spikey M]

Steak without peppercorn sauce. :nono:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A good steak needs no sauce.

[Spikey M]

Perhaps, but why deprive yourself? It's the sauce of the gods.

[phonics]

Cafe de Paris > Peppercorn even if they are pretty much the same.

[Spikey M]

Never tried it. What's the difference? It's got a French name, so is it just one of those vinegary Peppercorn Sauces?

[phonics]

Never tried it. What's the difference? It's got a French name, so is it just one of those vinegary Peppercorn Sauces?

It's a bit like Garlic Butter but way richer and thicker.

edit: Just did a wikipedia search and found out it was literally invented down the road, I just assumed everyone knew it.

[Spikey M]

I'll take three. :drool:

[phonics]

I'll take three. :drool:

This is how thick it is traditionally but alot of places just do the traditional piece on top.

You fry it in the butter , cut it into slices and then leave it to settle on the table as you eat, soaking it all up.

https://healthbymaria.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/img_5853-1.jpg

[Lewis]

That looks like live fatberg footage.

[mugbull]

That looks like a horse's leg

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Cafe de Paris', or Paris Zoo as it is known these days.

[Lewis]

Me and my friend went here (https://japes.uk/) yesterday and I can't remember ever having better pizza.

[niko_cee]

What are you doing hanging out in Dean Street?

Deep dish pizza is the pits. Well, at least the original pizza uno version.

[Lewis]

I was in London for work in the morning, and because it was my birthday (cheers lads) they took the afternoon off and we mooched about.

[igor_balis]

Was actually quite surprised that wasnt a link to Asdas website.

[Baz]

I was in London for work in the morning, and because it was my birthday (cheers lads) they took the afternoon off and we mooched about.A girl? :youpi:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A Caribbean place opened up in town last week. Tried it last night and it was fantastic, miles better than the one I would go to in Luton.

Curry goat is the business.

[Lewis]

A girl? :youpi:

The Reid.

[Dark Soldier]

Lads they sent me the wrong kebab. Sent me the £12 foot and a half long special. Its longer than my missus' forearm. Bask in the glory.

https://i.imgur.com/zb7IBjb.jpg

[Shindig]

My, that's a large image file. Congratulations.

[Dark Soldier]

Thank you.

[Shindig]

Speaking of massive meals that will shorten my life, we're going to the Italians tomorrow that does massive dustbin-lid sized pizzas.

[Giggles]

Sweet mercy DS :drool:

[Foe]

That does not look appealing.

[Lewis]

I just saw the meat and the wrist and wondered why he was trying to get himself banned.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It looks grim.

[Baz]

Looks like something I’d screenshot on Documenting Reality.

[mugbull]

It's like some harrowing footage from the scene of a drunk driving accident

[Mazuuurk]

Bearnaise is the best steak-sauce IMO. Can't beat steak, chips and bearnaise.

[niko_cee]

Aye, shame it's such a ballache to make on a non-industrial scale.

[Mazuuurk]

It is a bit. But I guess as with most things, make it a few times and you learn the trick. These days I whip up a bearnaise without measuring just go by feeling. It's the way you kind of have to do it anyway so you need to get there, getting the feel for the temperature etc. I don't faff around with water baths etc just do it over low heat on the stove and keep a close eye on it while whisking.

Also if you fuck it up and it splits because it got too hot, you take it off the heat and re-emulsify the split sauce with a new egg yolk which almost always works.

[niko_cee]

It's more the quantities. Clarified butter and the tarragon vinegar are a pain in small amounts, but a workable amount yields enough sauce for shit loads of people, and I don't find it keeps very well at all. Definitely the sauce of choice when eating steak out though.

[Mazuuurk]

The people you serve it to don't eat enought of it is the problem.

You are right though, butter based sauces just don't keep at all.

[Shindig]

That Italians have slimmed their portions down so the calzone I had wasn't .... well, it was still huge but not quite as huge as before. Hot as fuck, though and the black pudding starter remains fucking godlike. Can't complain at £15.

EDIT: That meal damaged me.

[igor_balis]

About to get skate and chips in cromer, I'll report back.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Anyone tried the vegan Applewood cheese?

Other half bought some to try since it's got loads of good reviews. I can only conclude these people have forgotten what the real stuff is like.

An abomination.

[randomlegend]

I got sent some protein cheese by musclefoods once. It's got a really weird texture but I actually quite liked it.

[Offshore Toon]

Vegan cheese is dreadful. The only one I've tasted that's passable is this 'soft cheese' (https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/285363243?sc_cmp=ppc*GHS+-+Grocery+-+New*PX+%7C+Shopping+GSC+%7C+All+Products*New:+F%2 6D:+Fresh+Food:+Fresh+Food+-+DTS*PRODUCT_GROUP285363243*&gclid=CjwKCAiAjrXxBRAPEiwAiM3DQhQ6EjsGGlhFPawwGj9_ fCwDzjn-YmoMhYpyUqeXMtNhkSj4CI17nRoCi6EQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds). The vegan feta from the same company had far too much coconut oil in it, and the cheddar was laughably disgusting. I reckon they're putting people off by eagerly putting 'cheese' and 'meat' out there that tastes like shit.

[niko_cee]

I've just put all the ingredients to make 'rice and peas' in my microwave rice cooker thing and set it on its way.

Very much a roll of the dice this one.

[Baz]

Thinly veiled 'I added peas to the rice cooker' zany post.

r u igor m8

[niko_cee]

I'll let the cultural appropriation twitter stasi get back to you on that one.

Suffice to say it was neither an unqualified success, nor an unmitigated disaster. The rice didn't really cook so I had to stick it in a pan/on the hob for a bit afterwards but it turned out ok. I think 'rice and peas' (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rice_and_peas) might just be a bit bland generally, as it always seems to be whenever I try to make it.

[igor_balis]

Rice and peas isnt exactly the most exciting dish but it can definitely be improved by being generous with the herbs and shit. It's a shame tyhme is such a pain in the arse to pick off the stems.

[Mazuuurk]

Just pinch the stem nail-to-nail (as if it was your left hand on your nipple during a wank) and then just slowly slide it down the stem (as if it was your right hand).

The leaves come off.

[Spikey M]

...............

[niko_cee]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi7hLuiM7uU

[Baz]

I recently switched to Redbush tea at work cos it supposedly doesn’t stain your teeth like regular tea, and drinking nothing but water just doesn’t cut it. But I’m fed up of it now so after some Googling I’ve just ordered myself a jar of Matcha powder. Apparently I can mix it with hot water and make like a frothy green tea with it, and it’s dead good for you. We’ll see.

Anyone here drink it?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

No because I don't like drinking pond water.

[Disco]

It's ok, no substitute for normal tea though.

[randomlegend]

It tastes how grass smells.

[-james-]

https://dragonflytea.com/products/earl-grey-rooibos

:nodd:

[Giggles]

Pepsi.

[igor_balis]

Partial credit

[hfswjyr]

I like all of the above. Teas are great. Neither Redbush or Matcha have caffeine I believe.

[randomlegend]

Matcha is really high caffeine, as much as coffee I think.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't understand how people function without caffeine, or would want to. Maybe that's why there are so many dreary dolts out there who don't have their brains supercharged by the stuff. It's like acid but without the risk of death.

[Ian]

To be fair I think 'dreary' probably sums up a lot of my personality.

Are you telling me I was a Monster addiction away from winning Baz's tournament?

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was a proper dreary final, now you mention it. Like that Milan v Juventus 'classic' from 2003.

[Ian]

The thinking man's final.

[Lewis]

Floyd has a 'give me the coffee and nobody gets hurt' mug like the most boring woman.

[Disco]

It would still be better than 'Keep Calm and .....'

[Lewis]

Them as well. Every coffee-themed novelty item you could imagine.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My mug at work is plain beige. My mugs at home are pastel colours, which are the correct colours from which to drink coffee.

At least I'm not a coffee snob. I'm actually an inverse coffee snob in the sense that it takes a lot to make me drink anything other than instant.

[Disco]

I drink most of my tea from one of these, which I did not expect to find a picture of so easily.

https://i.imgur.com/ivtEzY8.png

[Giggles]

One of the women in work bought me a little grey espresso cup in ikea one day she was buying office furniture. It’s grand but nothing is like drinking out of the paper ones you get in insomnia, etc for me.

[Adamski]

Turned into a Gousto wanker recently. It’s pretty great.

Cooking loads of things I wouldn’t normally bother with due to loads of faffy ingredients but they all come individually portioned.

[Ian]

I've only done that for the odd week here and there when there's an offer that makes it worthwhile for me but it is pretty decent.

[Adamski]

Just finished 4 weeks there so up to full price this week. Paused it now and started a new one at my dads address :D

We get 4 meals that feed 4 people per week. So 16 meals all in for the two of us. Does us majority lunches and dinners.

Not bad for £20-£30 a week (depending on the offer)

[SvN]

It is great. We did it a few times when there were offers on, and started again recently when we moved. We've got a folder full of recipe cards now, and when there's no decent offers, we just buy the ingredients from a supermarket. There are a few recipes that have odd ingredients that don't really make doing that viable, but there are enough to get by.

[-james-]

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1020830-caramelized-shallot-pasta

Made this tonight and it was real fuckin good. Perfect comfort food.

[phonics]

https://www.coopathome.ch/img/produkte/880_880/RGB/4489853_001.jpg

Not even like 1/3rd of the way through and my mouth is so on fire I've chugged a bit of milk straight out the carton twice.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I wasn't a fan of that one, tastes a bit too faux-shellfish for me.

These are ridiculously good:

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91V-plvctGL._AC_SL1500_.jpg

Very spicy (if you're struggling with then Ramyun ones these will blow your head off) but the quality of the actually noodle is Godly.

[Giggles]

Are they up there with a Bombay Bad Boy though?

[hfswjyr]

https://www.coopathome.ch/img/produkte/880_880/RGB/4489853_001.jpg

Not even like 1/3rd of the way through and my mouth is so on fire I've chugged a bit of milk straight out the carton twice.

Oh dear - I think Koreans consider that one mild.

Just right for me personally. Enough to work up a good sweat, but still enjoyable/edible.

[Luca]

I went to 'Superiority Burger' last night, which is meant to be an AMAZING VEGETARIAN BURGER PLACE.

The sides (charred broccoli, cashews, roasted eggplant, wine vinaigrette, cilantro) and dessert (mandarin sorbet, raspberry ripple gelato) were lush, but actual burger patty tasted of nutty mush. Why bother trying to recreate the burger patty? Vegetables are delicious as-is.

[mugbull]

“Superiority Burger” just sounds like its full of vegetarians

[Giggles]

I went to 'Superiority Burger' last night, which is meant to be an AMAZING VEGETARIAN BURGER PLACE.

The sides (charred broccoli, cashews, roasted eggplant, wine vinaigrette, cilantro) and dessert (mandarin sorbet, raspberry ripple gelato) were lush, but actual burger patty tasted of nutty mush. Why bother trying to recreate the burger patty? Vegetables are delicious as-is.

They’re not really though. People eat them because they have to.

I’ve switched to vegetarian burgers lately myself purely to eat less red meat per week and they’re grand. I can’t understand why a vegetarian would want a burger though.

[Josh]

I went to 'Superiority Burger' last night, which is meant to be an AMAZING VEGETARIAN BURGER PLACE.

The sides (charred broccoli, cashews, roasted eggplant, wine vinaigrette, cilantro) and dessert (mandarin sorbet, raspberry ripple gelato) were lush, but actual burger patty tasted of nutty mush. Why bother trying to recreate the burger patty? Vegetables are delicious as-is.

I went there a while back and thought the exact same. The place has brilliant reviews and my wife is pretty much a vegetarian so we tried it out but I wasn't impressed.

[Luca]

The Sunday hoagie and Monday TFT (tofu-fried tofu) are meant to be good, so maybe I’ll go back, but I was expecting more from the burger.

Imagine not thinking that vegetables are delicious. :face:

Edit: I might go to Shake Shack tomorrow to atone for my sin of having a veggie burger.

[Baz]

In Freaks & Geeks they go to an all you can eat ribs place. Are those sort of places commonplace in North America?

[hfswjyr]

I refuse to believe they don't exist in the UK.

In NZ they tend to be very average tasting ribs, but still a decent selling point.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's a pub not far from me which hosts a rib night every Tuesday which is like that.

The meat is from their own pigs too.

[Josh]

The Sunday hoagie and Monday TFT (tofu-fried tofu) are meant to be good, so maybe I’ll go back, but I was expecting more from the burger.

Imagine not thinking that vegetables are delicious. :face:

Edit: I might go to Shake Shack tomorrow to atone for my sin of having a veggie burger.

Have you had the burger from Emily/Emmy Squared? Now that is a burger.

[Baz]

I refuse to believe they don't exist in the UK.

In NZ they tend to be very average tasting ribs, but still a decent selling point.
We have all you can eat meat places (usually badged as Brazilian) but they tend to lure you in with one piece of nice meat and then keep balling around with salty gammon and cheap sausages for the rest of your visit.

Ribs (and corn on the cob) are the least sociable thing to eat, but if everyone’s audibly gnawing them out of their greasy paws, it’s less of a concern.

[Ian]

Least sociable suggests anybody should be giving even the teeniest of tiny fucks if somebody they're with chooses to eat them, which they should not. If they do then disregard them entirely.

[Luca]

Have you had the burger from Emily/Emmy Squared? Now that is a burger.

Emmy Squared is on the list. I will report back.

[mikem]

In Freaks & Geeks they go to an all you can eat ribs place. Are those sort of places commonplace in North America?

Cafeteria style restaurants exist in a variety of forms from salad bars to Chinese buffets and are almost always “all you can eat.” But anything specifically marketed as “all you can eat” is almost certainly the worst form of the restaurant possible: the kid’s birthday party pizza place with off-brand characters, the exceedingly dark Chinese buffet place that may or may not double as a strip parlor, or you’ve just made whatever inexplicably bad life decisions that led to stepping foot in Vegas.

[Luca]

Amen. All-you-can-eat sushi being the worst offender of the lot.

I’m not saying that I haven’t partaken (because I have), but you never leave feeling particularly nice about anything you ate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's an all you can eat Chinese place here which is good because it's not buffet style. You have to order X amount of dishes from the menu and then when you've finished you can order anything you like from the menu as many times as you want.

The only good buffet I've been to was in Vegas at Caesar's Palace.

$50 for Lunch is mental but I'd eat so much that I wouldn't need dinner later.

[mikem]

Vegas is probably the exception to the rule because they are just trying to get you to stay so you’ll wander over to the casino.

The other exception being the various fundraisers for social / religious groups. The $10 fish fry put on by volunteers at a VFW, Shriner’s, or church in the Midwest will be good. As will the the local Orthodox Church’s roast lamb / baklava fundraisers.

But getting roped into a visit to some awful
“Souper Salad” which seems to have a mission to recreate classic 70’s airline food? Ugh

[Ian]

There's an all you can eat Chinese place here which is good because it's not buffet style. You have to order X amount of dishes from the menu and then when you've finished you can order anything you like from the menu as many times as you want.

The only good buffet I've been to was in Vegas at Caesar's Palace.

$50 for Lunch is mental but I'd eat so much that I wouldn't need dinner later.

When we had all the shit weather a few years ago and I couldn't get home from Glasgow they put me up in a moderately swish hotel overnight so I used my budget for their fancy all you can eat buffet and it was amazing, featuring things like crispy pork belly and whatnot.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was a big fan of the prime rib beef roast.

I think I had 4 massive slices one day.

[Luca]

Actually yeah, tell you what, nice hotels could be an exception to the rule (not always, of course). I was staying at the Ritz in Singapore a few months ago for work, and the buffet was tremendous(ly expensive, as well).

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Those crap ones that offer "FOOD FROM ROUND THE WORLD" :sick:

[SvN]

There's an Indian "buffet" in Southampton that is amazing - mostly because it's not a buffet, they just bring you loads of dishes based on what sort of things you like. And at any point, you can ask for more of anything. All for around £15 per head.

[Lewis]

The all you can eat Chinese place in Hull used to (and probably still does) charge kids over a certain height as adults. The local paper was like a compo face rogues' gallery when they brought that in, as if Chinese businesses aren't the most shameless entities known to man.

[Ian]

Those crap ones that offer "FOOD FROM ROUND THE WORLD" :sick:

Some are fine. One by my work is pricey but one of the options is Hoi sin duck pancakes which would be in the running if I had to choose something to gorge myself to death on.

[Giggles]

So full of pancakes.

[Ian]

I have failed to arrange stuff for pancakes and am backshift at home so won't be doing that now.

It's really just reminding me that I need to go back to Stack & Still.

[Smjffy]

There's an Indian "buffet" in Southampton that is amazing - mostly because it's not a buffet, they just bring you loads of dishes based on what sort of things you like. And at any point, you can ask for more of anything. All for around £15 per head.

I watched a documentary about buffets (because I'm sad like that) and its hard to get your head around that even after someone has 6,7 or 8 plates they can still make a profit on that one customer.

Madness. Strategic placement helps too but still.

[Kikó]

Some are fine. One by my work is pricey but one of the options is Hoi sin duck pancakes which would be in the running if I had to choose something to gorge myself to death on.

Had duck pancakes in Amsterdam recently from some Chinese place and they were the best thing I've eaten in ages. Crispy duck is just one of those you can eat for hours/until death.

[Ian]

Had duck pancakes in Amsterdam recently from some Chinese place and they were the best thing I've eaten in ages. Crispy duck is just one of those you can eat for hours/until death.

It's just the best. My parents used to make it at home sometimes and my mum never used to eat any of the skin until one fateful day I made the monumentally stupid decision of making her try it so she'd realise how delicious it is.

I'm genuinely considering going back there one day and eating nothing but duck pancakes.

[Giggles]

Just had an extremely poor kebab. Pitta bread :nono:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pitta bread :nono:

One of the worst things you've ever said.

[Giggles]

One of the worst things you've ever said.

They have their place but they’re fucking useless for a kebab. Sauce ratio was very bad too which made things worse.

The test of a good kebab is can it be eaten without dropping a bit. A large wrap or naan, not too much sauce, and a good tight wrap are the only ways to accomplish this.

[Spikey M]

Is their place as a shit replacement for 2 slices of bread?

[igor_balis]

They have their place but they’re fucking useless for a kebab.

Wow, snap. Mine was also pretty shit, and NONE of the bastard takeaways in Norwich do em in naan. Fuck authentic, with the disgusting massive mixed kebabs I get, they're a necessity. Pitta is basically just a serving bowl you can eat afterwards.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is their place as a shit replacement for 2 slices of bread?

You're a disgrace.

[Spikey M]

You're a disgrace.

They're shit. They're a cunt to open, they tear when you're trying to stuff them and they're usually as dry as a Nun's pocket.

There is literally nothing that isn't better in a wrap / flat bread.

[Giggles]

Wow, snap. Mine was also pretty shit, and NONE of the bastard takeaways in Norwich do em in naan. Fuck authentic, with the disgusting massive mixed kebabs I get, they're a necessity. Pitta is basically just a serving bowl you can eat afterwards.

It’s really hard to get one in a naan anywhere here. There’s one place I know does a really good one in a big wrap though, should have got that.

On the bright side they put in an extra bag of chips by accident so they’re going in the air fryer later on.

[Ian]

Pitta fresh from the oven with stuff to dip 'em in.

Other than that you're better off with something else.

[Luca]

The Turkish döner place I used to frequent when living in Milan (because it was right across the street) used to bake flatbread to order for each sandwich.

They were mental (I once witnessed them beating some drunkard who tried to rob them with a rolling pin) but they made fantastic food. :drool:

[Giggles]

I’m in the city tomorrow night on the beer and by fuck I’m getting a Zaytoon. It’ll more than make up for this shit.

[Spikey M]

You don't try to rob a Turk. Even Churchill learnt that.

[niko_cee]

The Turkish döner place I used to frequent when living in Milan (because it was right across the street) used to bake flatbread to order for each sandwich.

They were mental (I once witnessed them beating some drunkard who tried to rob them with a rolling pin) but they made fantastic food. :drool:

Clearly not authentic, as if they were they have been having a go with that fucking great big knife/sword thing they use to cut the meat. Tottenham style.

'The best kebab shop in Fulham' used to do kebabs in pitta bread, which is about all you need to know about that.

Somewhat weirdly, when I lived off kebabs for a week or so in Istanbul they were almost exclusively served in baguette style bread, which was actually pretty great.

[Luca]

If he was an actual threat, as opposed to some pissed-up college kid, I think they would have.

[Ian]

I’m in the city tomorrow night on the beer and by fuck I’m getting a Zaytoon. It’ll more than make up for this shit.

A what?

[Giggles]

https://www.zaytoon.ie/our-menu

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've got right into Middle Eastern food in the last couple of years, or at least Lebanese and Turkish. The stuff they can do with a simple bit of lamb is unparallelled.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Turkish grilled lamb ribs :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Our local also does a starter called hummus kavurma which is hummus topped with very finely chopped up pieces of lamb and oil on top.

It's glorious.

[-james-]

Middle eastern food is probably the best in the world if you're a non meat eater. A load of good flatbread, 4 or 5 quality dips, olives, pickles etc is one of my favourite meals.

[Giggles]

Iskanders was also another class option when in town too, a more dirty 2am kebab variety, but when I looked it up I seen this.

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/consumer/dublin-s-late-night-kebab-shop-iskander-s-to-close-after-nearly-three-decades-1.4137311

[Lewis]

I went to the Lebanese Bakery last time I was in London and it was bob on. Me and the old man go to some knock-off Nando's that Hezbollah own round here as well, so they are clearly top, top lads.

[Spikey M]

I'm going to have to get a big dirty kebab tonight because of this thread.

[Giggles]

#nopitta

[Spikey M]

They all do Pitta round here. Shit as they are, I'll power through.

[Giggles]

You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

[Luca]

This evening I made a duck confit overtop a bean stew, with a tarragon salsa verde and garlic chips. Sort of a play on a cassoulet but with some brightness and acid to counteract the richness.

For dessert I made chocolate-tobacco truffles, which were just ridiculously good.

[Giggles]

I'm going to have to get a big dirty kebab tonight because of this thread.

Did you get it?

[Spikey M]

Did you get it?

Yes, I had a large Doner, but they didn't have any large pitta's, so they gave me 2 small ones. The extra one was put on top of the box before they wrapped it in paper.

Livid.

[Giggles]

Place should be closed down.

[Luca]

The Turkish döner place I used to frequent when living in Milan (because it was right across the street) used to bake flatbread to order for each sandwich.

They were mental (I once witnessed them beating some drunkard who tried to rob them with a rolling pin) but they made fantastic food. :drool:

The geezers around the corner from me here do the same thing. :cool:

I had a lamb Adana kebab plate that was splendid.

[Spikey M]

Place should be closed down.

This one nailed it:


https://i.ibb.co/Cv4bYCn/20200307-191718.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/PNpT8rn/20200307-191247.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Giggles will be SEETHING about the 5 tiny pieces of vegetables in the corner.

[Spikey M]

It's a good job I left out the salad then. :uhoh:

[Giggles]

Even the rice is taking up valuable meat space, but it looks good.

[Foe]

Even the rice is taking up valuable meat space, but it looks good.


:saywhat:

Does not look like food. Avoid.

[Giggles]

There’s a place near where I am now that says their doner is on a naan, so I’ll have to be done.
I was going to go for a pint but I’m too shook so I’ll get that instead.

[niko_cee]

Looks absolutely epic.

The lack of availability of such feasts is one of the major drawbacks of living on a backwater micro-island.

[Luca]

I know things have regressed, but I think you’re being a bit harsh on Great Britain there, Niko.

[Offshore Toon]

Vegan cheese is dreadful. The only one I've tasted that's passable is this 'soft cheese' (https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/285363243?sc_cmp=ppc*GHS+-+Grocery+-+New*PX+%7C+Shopping+GSC+%7C+All+Products*New:+F%2 6D:+Fresh+Food:+Fresh+Food+-+DTS*PRODUCT_GROUP285363243*&gclid=CjwKCAiAjrXxBRAPEiwAiM3DQhQ6EjsGGlhFPawwGj9_ fCwDzjn-YmoMhYpyUqeXMtNhkSj4CI17nRoCi6EQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds). The vegan feta from the same company had far too much coconut oil in it, and the cheddar was laughably disgusting. I reckon they're putting people off by eagerly putting 'cheese' and 'meat' out there that tastes like shit.
Me mam brought back some vegan mozzarella (Sheese I think) and it's actually delicious.

[Giggles]

Sweet Jesus, a new place near me is doing a doner meat calzone. I’ll need to sample but levels have been reached.

[Shindig]

That ... I can't .... it's too much grease, surely?

[Spikey M]

I'm assuming the tomato sauce makes way for chilli sauce?

I agree that the grease potential is a worry, but the potential pay off if it works is enough to grant the benefit of the doubt.

[John]

Those are a staple of the filthy kebab shop up here. They are incredibly greasy, but that's exactly what you're after in the places that do them. The place near me does a mixed kebab calzone that will wipe ten years off your life but is worth every second of it.

[Spikey M]

John, can you confirm if the tomato sauce is replaced with Chilli sauce? If not, why not? And what steps can we put in place to correct this obvious error?

[Lewis]

I don't think I've ever had a really good calzone. I can see the logic behind getting one from a takeaway, but whenever I've seen them on restaurant menus I wonder who orders them.

[John]

John, can you confirm if the tomato sauce is replaced with Chilli sauce? If not, why not? And what steps can we put in place to correct this obvious error?

I usually call ahead so I've only seen mine being made once, and they used both. Tomato beneath the meat, chilli on top of it.

[Spikey M]

I usually call ahead so I've only seen mine being made once, and they used both. Tomato beneath the meat, chilli on top of it.

This is acceptable. I might need you to post me one.

[Giggles]

I’ll have to sample one next week. The Mrs got one last night that had cheesy taco mince inside and it was really nice. I had a kebab tray ordered before I noticed the doner version.

[Giggles]

I also had extremely spicy wings. I’d never order the stupid things but they threw them in for free. A twitching arsehole is not the way to start a week.

[Giggles]

Had my first ever McDonald’s breakfast roll this morning.

1. They’re surprisingly nice.
2. That’s a bap, not a roll.
3. Should have got a double sausage McMuffin.
4. Their coffee isn’t nice at all any more and it’s still way too hot.

[Ian]

Yeah I wouldn't go out of my way for a McDonald's breakfast but if you need a bit of greasy stodge in your life and it's the most convenient thing they're fine.

[Baz]

Breakfast Wrap is the only edible thing on the breakfast menu

[Jimmy Floyd]

If it's a McDonald's breakfast you need - and sometimes it is - there's no point in getting anything but the double sausage McMuffin, ideally with an extra hash brown.

[Giggles]

If it's a McDonald's breakfast you need - and sometimes it is - there's no point in getting anything but the double sausage McMuffin, ideally with an extra hash brown.

This is the truth.

I also forgot about my hash brown this morning and found it this evening and I throwing out the bag. 2 mins in the toaster and it was job oxo.

[Luca]

McDonald's are introducing Chicken McMuffins here. Thoughts? Reactions?

[niko_cee]

No thanks.

Jimmy's order is the correct one.

[phonics]

The Egg is good. You can't skip the egg.

[niko_cee]

You get one in the sausage mcmuffin. [/probably missing the point]

[phonics]

Ah I thought you had to specify.

[Baz]

The egg on a McMuffin is an offence to chickens. It’s like the rubbery stuff you seal a bath with.

[Spikey M]

It tastes like foamy farts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://craftcleaver.co.uk/

Went there tonight.

https://i.imgur.com/RJzmfja.jpg

Burnt ends, beef rib, pulled pork, jalapeno sausage and ribs. Also came with fries, coleslaw and I asked for some short rib pit beans.

Also tried some of their brioche pudding and cheesecake spring rolls.

So fucking good.

[Giggles]

Beef ribs are Godly.

[Luca]

Burnt ends are the tits.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Beef ribs are Godly.

Best part tbh.

[Pepe]

Burnt ends. :drool:

[Lewis]

I like that sort of thing, but if YouTube food videos are anything to go by then barbecue people are the biggest wankers on the planet. I would rather be stuck on a quarantined cruise with a thousand real ale drinkers than with even one of those tossers who queue for three hours for the best brisket in Bumfuck Texas.

[Luca]

Burnt ends. :drool:

Pepe knows.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Looks like an artist's impression of... actually, I'll leave that thought at the door.

[Luca]

I like that sort of thing, but if YouTube food videos are anything to go by then barbecue people are the biggest wankers on the planet. I would rather be stuck on a quarantined cruise with a thousand real ale drinkers than with even one of those tossers who queue for three hours for the best brisket in Bumfuck Texas.

I mean, yes, but all “[insert food here] people” are generally insufferable. Vegans probably take the cake for me.

[Shindig]

I see eyebrows, a red nose and big beefy cheeks.

Bernard Ingham.

[Giggles]

I mean, yes, but all “[insert food here] people” are generally insufferable. Vegans probably take the cake for me.

Don’t you normally rock up with “this is better” for 99% of what people mention about food?

[Pepe]

I like that sort of thing, but if YouTube food videos are anything to go by then barbecue people are the biggest wankers on the planet. I would rather be stuck on a quarantined cruise with a thousand real ale drinkers than with even one of those tossers who queue for three hours for the best brisket in Bumfuck Texas.

There was a place in St. Louis that had good ribs and I did make the ~40 minute queue a few times. :uhoh:

[Giggles]

I queued at Franklin a couple of times in Austin but then realised that it wasn’t that far better to warrant going to over somewhere you could just go in and order.

[Luca]

Don’t you normally rock up with “this is better” for 99% of what people mention about food?

Yes. On an Internet messageboard. I'm not refusing to go meet mates at a bar because they don't serve *insert thing here* or refusing a cheeky double sausage McMuffin because it isn't pasture-raised Berkshire pork.

EDIT: You're still wrong about pizza you cunt.

[Josh]

Yes. On an Internet messageboard. I'm not refusing to go meet mates at a bar because they don't serve *insert thing here* or refusing a cheeky double sausage McMuffin because it isn't pasture-raised Berkshire pork.

EDIT: You're still wrong about pizza you cunt.

Hometown BBQ 🤤

[Giggles]

Yes. On an Internet messageboard. I'm not refusing to go meet mates at a bar because they don't serve *insert thing here* or refusing a cheeky double sausage McMuffin because it isn't pasture-raised Berkshire pork.

EDIT: You're still wrong about pizza you cunt.

The Italian shit shouldn’t be allowed to be called pizza. A big dry floury base, barely covered, and a handful of greenery chucked at it from afar.

The US is the home of pizza.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Tbf to Giggles, the best pizza I've had was in America.

Although I have had good pizza in Italy too.

[Lewis]

I'm with Giggles. It's basically a bit of shit bread, so it stands to reason that it serves a better purpose acting as a platform for fat and salt than a few specs of wank. If somebody gave you an empty pie and tried to sell you on the pastry you would put them through the wall, and this is no different.