Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

[Giggles]

A nice blue van.

[Clunge]

Yes, ladle is not spelled correctly.

https://i.imgur.com/KOYOOlz.jpg
Nice. Ta. Where you add methi, is that methi leaf (fresh or dried?) or powdered fenugreek?

Also, what’s in your curry masala mix?

[Giggles]

Nice. Ta. Where you add methi, is that methi leaf (fresh or dried?) or powdered fenugreek?

Also, what’s in your curry masala mix?

Oh yeah sorry, it's fenugreek powder where the ¼tsp is added with the fennel, chilli, etc and it's dried crushed leaf where the full tsp is added on it's own. I always just write it as methi to differentiate.

My mix is:
8tbs ground cumin
8tbs paprika
8tbs ground coriander
4tbs garam masala
8tbs medium curry powder
12tbs ground turmeric

[Mazuuurk]

Apologies if massive. I'm on my phone.


Fuck yes :drool:

Love a toad in the hole.


Christ I've not had a toad in the hole for the longest time.

Need to sort my life out.


I've got a lot of time for a good sausage.



Am I in the Relationship Thread....?

[Spikey M]

Everyone's happy, how could you be?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

[Ian]

Had it been the relationship thread Disco would have been claiming to have a lot of sausage for a good time.

[Disco]

Even a little can be appreciated.

[Giggles]

Went for the vindaloo after mentioning it yesterday. Was nice but I forgot I used extra vinegar last time.

https://i.imgur.com/qz3AaWC.jpg

[Spikey M]

Your bog must be a disgrace.

[Pepe]

:D

[Giggles]

You should see my kacks.

[Giggles]

I've a 1.2kg round roast. How long and at what temperature would it need to be cooked to be well done?

[Ian]

I believe BBC Good Food has a roast calculator where you select the meat, weight, etc. There may be a better means of doing it.

[Giggles]

I'd seen that but you can only select 'beef' but I'd imagine there's a big difference between something like a round roast and a fillet, etc.

[Giggles]

Is a round roast a thing over there as I can find shag all on it online so it must be under a different name outside here.
180 for 2 hours and if it's not done by then I'm going to the chippers.

[niko_cee]

Like a topside joint?

[Shindig]

https://embed.widencdn.net/img/beef/65dqjurwie/480x360px/Eye%20of%20Round%20Roast.psd?keep=c&u=7fueml

Just erm ... eyeball it off that. Topside's definitely a different cut. Topside's from the back of the cow whereas Round is from the rear leg.

[niko_cee]

This topside of beef cut comes from the inner muscle of the thigh. This muscle is quite tender and very lean so it makes an excellent roasting joint.

Beef round is a large primal cut consisting of well-exercised muscles from the leg and rump of the cow. ... But the top round (also called inside round, because it comes from the inside of the leg), is actually a good cut of meat for roasting, as long as it's done slowly at a low temperature.

:sorry:

[Giggles]

That looks similar to mine. It's lean but not a fillet so it'll be tough. I'll do it for a good while in an inch of stock.

[Clunge]

Does it not say the cut on the packet?

I'd pot roast it - you can't really go too far wrong with something like this: https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2875673/potroast-beef-with-french-onion-gravy

It'll be tough and chalky whatever you do with it unless it's an exceptional piece of meat.

[Giggles]

Does it not say the cut on the packet?

I'd pot roast it - you can't really go too far wrong with something like this: https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2875673/potroast-beef-with-french-onion-gravy

It'll be tough and chalky whatever you do with it unless it's an exceptional piece of meat.

It says round roast but I think there's stuff like top round and eye round, etc and it doesn't specify that.

[Giggles]

https://i.imgur.com/Z4Wjcgr.jpg

[Clunge]

Ahh. Looks like it has a bit of fat through the meat though. I think if you sear it well for a good 10-15 mins, it'll be fine.

[Giggles]

Nice one. I'll leave it out now too as I'll be putting it on about 11:30.

[hfswjyr]

Something I didn't realise until recently is that the cuts are different depending on where you are.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cut_of_beef

Just to be extra confusing.

[Spikey M]

Why are you cooking it well done anyway?

[Giggles]

Why are you cooking it well done anyway?

The missus will only eat it well done. I'm tempted to throw her on a chicken fillet instead.

[Giggles]

Something I didn't realise until recently is that the cuts are different depending on where you are.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cut_of_beef

Just to be extra confusing.

I never knew that either. So what I have seems to be either silverside, topside, or thick flank in British cuts.

[Spikey M]

The missus will only eat it well done. I'm tempted to throw her on a chicken fillet instead.

Cut her an end off and ruin that for her.

[Giggles]

It's in anyway. Seasoned and fried it off, chucked an onion in the pan and deglazed with damsen balsamic and beef stock and fucked it in among the meat. I'll take the cover off after 80 mins and leave it for another 30.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cut her an end off and ruin that for her.

Well done is genuinely the pits. My Mum has her steak like that (despite eating steak tartare) and then moans that it's tough...

[Giggles]

I don't mind beef or steak anywhere on the scale. I'd probably prefer rare but well done is grand too.

[Spikey M]

I only ate well done for years. It only changed when a foreign waiter misheard 'mullered' as 'medium' and I had already taken a bite before I realised. Instant conversation.

[Giggles]

It worked out :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

That cut is actually pretty good well done I think (not all of them are).

[Disco]

If it's silverside it would be a bit tough otherwise.

[Ian]

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3963/hot-harissa-lamb-with-couscous

Had this tonight for the first time in an age. Still great.

[Giggles]

If it's silverside it would be a bit tough otherwise.

Yeah that was my reckoning too. It was too cheap to be anything other than long slow cooking.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Anyone have any brilliant slow cooker recipes? No oven or hob right now and I despite the slow cooker but hopefully some amazing recipes might help to change my mind.

https://natashaskitchen.com/slow-cooker-beef-brisket-recipe/

Might try that as the picture looks incredible but I wont be able to sear the meat or fry the mushrooms and onions.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I had oven down for about two months at one stage a while back, and what I found was that no matter what you attempt to put in a slow cooker, it will be shite - so the way to go is microwave and takeaways and toast.

[Baz]

Smells good when you get in from work though.

[Spikey M]

I had oven down for about two months at one stage a while back, and what I found was that no matter what you attempt to put in a slow cooker, it will be shite - so the way to go is microwave and takeaways and toast.


This is just downright blasphemous.

They are fantastic for stews, casseroles, ribs and, well, anything else that benefits from being cooked slowly. Sort yourself out Jim.

[Spikey M]

Anyone have any brilliant slow cooker recipes? No oven or hob right now and I despite the slow cooker but hopefully some amazing recipes might help to change my mind.

https://natashaskitchen.com/slow-cooker-beef-brisket-recipe/

Might try that as the picture looks incredible but I wont be able to sear the meat or fry the mushrooms and onions.

Ribs, hot sauce, on.

Needs the oven for 10 minutes to stop it being so wet though. So I'm no help at all. As you were.

Edit: pulled pork is good in one.

[Giggles]

I posted a few earlier in the thread I think that I'd found in some slow cooker book.

[Giggles]

Yeah them two:


https://i.imgur.com/gopPE4N.pnghttps://i.imgur.com/ybeXtkU.png

[Adamski]

Yes, ladle is not spelled correctly.

https://i.imgur.com/KOYOOlz.jpg

Giving this a go today. Can’t find Cassia but assume cinnamon bark will be near enough.

Just to clarify, are you saying it’s powdered fenugreek where it says that but then where you’ve said methi it’s fenugreek leaf?

Also, what was in the base sauce? Not sure if I missed that.

[Giggles]

Giving this a go today. Can’t find Cassia but assume cinnamon bark will be near enough.

Just to clarify, are you saying it’s powdered fenugreek where it says that but then where you’ve said methi it’s fenugreek leaf?

Also, what was in the base sauce? Not sure if I missed that.

The ¼ fenugreek powder is the seeds powdered and the 1 of methi is the dried leaf. I'll stick up the base sauce I do shortly. Not much to it but it takes about 3 hours to make.

[Giggles]

Sorry I got caught up (eating a bbq and running from wasps). The base I make is:

Add 100ml oil to a stock pot and heat to the lowest heat possible.
Add half a tablespoon of ginger garlic paste and cook for a few seconds (until quiet).
Add:
8 whole peeled onions, not chopped
1 roughly chopped carrot
half an inch of ginger chopped
bunch of coriander
half a roughly chopped green pepper
75ml water

Cook for two and a half hours covered on a really low heat. The onions will release their own liquid and sugars.

Then turn up the heat to medium, stir in the following, and cook for around 25-30 mins.
1.5 tbsp curry spice mix
0.5 tbsp salt
0.5 tbsp brown sugar
half an inch of ginger sliced
0.5 tbsp ginger garlic paste
a green chilli
a third of a tin of plum tomatoes

After the half hour add 1 and three quarter litres of water and blend smooth.

You thin it out again 5:2 with water when using but I do it at the time as it’s easiest store it in 500ml tubs and add 200ml water at the time to make two curries with the 700ml.

[Giggles]

Meant to say too, always have the base sauce hot when making a curry. I forgot to write it in the Ceylon recipe.

[Adamski]

Sorry I got caught up (eating a bbq and running from wasps). The base I make is:

Add 100ml oil to a stock pot and heat to the lowest heat possible.
Add half a tablespoon of ginger garlic paste and cook for a few seconds (until quiet).
Add:
8 whole peeled onions, not chopped
1 roughly chopped carrot
half an inch of ginger chopped
bunch of coriander
half a roughly chopped green pepper
75ml water

Cook for two and a half hours covered on a really low heat. The onions will release their own liquid and sugars.

Then turn up the heat to medium, stir in the following, and cook for around 25-30 mins.
1.5 tbsp curry spice mix
0.5 tbsp salt
0.5 tbsp brown sugar
half an inch of ginger sliced
0.5 tbsp ginger garlic paste
a green chilli
a third of a tin of plum tomatoes

After the half hour add 1 and three quarter litres of water and blend smooth.

You thin it out again 5:2 with water when using but I do it at the time as it’s easiest store it in 500ml tubs and add 200ml water at the time to make two curries with the 700ml.

Cheers - went with something similar from Misty Ricardo. That and the bunjarra have turned out well, just starting the curry now. Using matured sirloin chunks.

[Giggles]

Cheers - went with something similar from Misty Ricardo. That and the bunjarra have turned out well, just starting the curry now. Using matured sirloin chunks.

Yeah I seen his his one has creamed coconut and spuds and stuff in it so I'm keen to try it myself.

[Adamski]

Yeah it's decent, think I burned it slightly though so the curry is looking a fair bit darker than yours.

[Giggles]

His base looked a bit darker than mine from what I seen in his video too.

[Adamski]

https://i.ibb.co/Y7G4BY0/D22-A6930-C6-B9-44-DF-BF9-A-DBC18-DBE1042.jpg

Yeah, not bad for a first bash. Could possibly do with something to make it taste a little lighter - maybe some more lemon juice or something. I put some coconut milk in as well to try it.

Think the base was slightly too caramelised as well so that’ll have an affect.

Not bad for a first attempt though, cheers for the tip. Got onion paste and base to freeze as well.

[Giggles]

Ah, I hadn’t seen the picture originally. Looks good to me. The coconut flavour is much milder than I thought it would be when I first seen the recipe though I’m going to try the MR one next as the creamed coconut is heavy and his only uses milk and powder.

Made some more base after to the recipe I posted above and it’s a good bit lighter, probably where the colour difference comes from.

https://i.imgur.com/CP7v9hD.jpg

(Pen used because I’m a pen wanker now).


https://i.imgur.com/u4383qg.jpg

[Baz]

Hand-written recipe sharing. :drool:

[randomlegend]

Giggles

Are you cooking that with the lid on for the full first 2 1/2 hours? Don't you want the onions to caramelise?

[Giggles]

No it’s a thin base, so I just want the onions to slowly release their liquid and sugars. You caramelise the base when you’re cooking the curry dish itself.

The middle pic is after the 2.5 hours just before I stirred in the tomatoes, powder mix, etc.

[randomlegend]

:thbup:

[mugbull]

That could be a week’s worth of meals for one person eh

[Giggles]

That could be a week’s worth of meals for one person eh

You lie piss now.

[mugbull]

What on earth does that mean. I was complimenting your meal prep

[Giggles]

Shit :D Being you, I read it as a week for one normal person. Apologies.

It's more than a week though, each tub makes two dishes.

[Adamski]

Ah, I hadn’t seen the picture originally. Looks good to me. The coconut flavour is much milder than I thought it would be when I first seen the recipe though I’m going to try the MR one next as the creamed coconut is heavy and his only uses milk and powder.

Made some more base after to the recipe I posted above and it’s a good bit lighter, probably where the colour difference comes from.

https://i.imgur.com/CP7v9hD.jpg

(Pen used because I’m a pen wanker now).


https://i.imgur.com/u4383qg.jpg

Nice. I’ve got 4 portions of sauce and 8 ice cubes of bunjarra. Not sure what to do next.

[Giggles]

Bhuna is always good.

[Smjffy]

Any suggestions for a starter special that involves swordfish, chaps?

Today I'm making marinaded chicken satay skewers with a peanut butter dipping sauce. :drool:

[niko_cee]

Swordfish is pretty meaty, what's it like raw or ceviche?

[Ian]

Speaking of fish, my chippy has started offering sea bass as one of their fish supper options. I mean, I don't live in a particularly nice area. I'm not really sure who they're catering to with a £9 fish supper.

[Spikey M]

That's about how much a normal one is round here.

[phonics]

Probably the most middle class sentence I've ever written incoming:

The chippy near mine next to the Waitrose did similar but it was Swordfish rather than Sea Bass.

[Ian]

The most middle class sentence I've ever heard was my niece, having been sent in to get get condiments, salad dressings, etc. for the barbecue coming back into the garden and saying to my sister, "I didn't know what balsamic vinegar you wanted so I just brought all three."

[phonics]

:D

Very good.

[Raoul Duke]

Having a fish finger sandwich for my tea and then getting stuck into some Hobnobs for afters :drool:

[Spikey M]

I had mini-cheddars, cheese and pickled onions a minute ago. :cool:

[Ian]

God I've not had a Hobnob in such a long time. Need to sort that.

[Lewis]

I used to like stacking them in a tumbler, pouring milk over them, and eating it with a spoon. I should bring it back as Brexit granola.

[Disco]

God I've not had a Hobnob in such a long time. Need to sort that.


Am I in the Relationship Thread....?

....

[Spikey M]

That makes Lewis' post kinky as fuck.

[Ian]

Chocolate ones or just normal, Lewis?

I've learned my lesson when it comes to listening to your milk and biscuits advice.

[Lewis]

Normal ones. The spoon goes through the stack easier.

[Giggles]

I need to get a packet of chocolate ones in the morning.

[randomlegend]

That makes Lewis' post kinky as fuck.

:naughty:


Chocolate ones or just normal, Lewis?


:uhoh:

[Spikey M]

And that's Ian replacing Mahow as the star on our deviant Christmas tree.

[Ian]

It's the quiet ones you've got to look out for.

[Giggles]

Fuckers had none in the Spar.

[Baz]

I used to like stacking them in a tumbler, pouring milk over them, and eating it with a spoon. I should bring it back as Brexit granola.

Weetabix for fatties.

[Lewis]

That was the downside to it.

[Shindig]

Diabetabix. Trademark it quick.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Monthly Street food festival (loads of food trucks in the town centre) today and I had some beastly bao from Guerilla Kitchen.

[Ian]

https://www.kingkongbrownies.co.uk/

Somebody brought some of these into work and they were amazing. Fuck joining Instagram just to order some brownies though.

Choosing two chocolate bars would be difficult. I reckon I'd have to get some Twix in there.

[Baz]

Brownies are disgusting. Just thinking about them makes me feel a bit sick.

[mugbull]

What is wrong with you?? I hope you let your daughter gorge on brownies whenever she wants

[Giggles]

Brownies are the fucking business.

[Ian]

"Brownies are disgusting" might be the wrongest opinion I have ever encountered by virtue of how strongly you're against them.

"I'm not keen on brownies" would be weird. But disgusting? Very worrisome.

[Baz]

They’re just so rich and super chocolatey, which is bad.

The only thing worse are those big cookies that are brown. I think they’re called double chocolate? Eurgh, I feel queasy.

[Raoul Duke]

Always knew you were a deviant but this is an outrage

[Ian]

You've described double chocolate cookies the way somebody for whom English is a second language might.

[Spikey M]

Can we ban Baz?

[John]

Those brownies look excellent.

[Boydy]

I'm not a huge fan of brownies. They're too dense.

[Ian]

Maybe you're too dense.

[Spikey M]

Oh snap.

[Lewis]

There is a shop in Hull that does mega brownies like that and they've had to make them smaller (and cheaper fair play lad) because people were bealing that they were 'too much'. No Surrender.

[Ian]

I didn't know that 'bealing' was used anywhere other than Scotland.

[Disco]

I used to make super dense brownies and eat them with custard, probably shortened my life considerably but they were damn good.

[Lewis]

I didn't know it was used beyond Yorkshire, so brownies have brought the Union closer together here. lol at Boyd.

[mugbull]

Brownies have brought the Union closer together, and now Brexit babies want to end that. Shameful

[randomlegend]

Nigel Slater's brownie recipe on the guardian website is transcendental.

[Pepe]

"Transcendental"

GTFO

[Ian]

I don't want it to be transcendental. I want it to be a delicious little heap of chocolatey stodge.

[Pepe]

I'm not a huge fan of brownies. They're too dense.

Then you're getting the wrong ones.


Maybe you're too dense.

Or that. :D

[randomlegend]

I don't want it to be transcendental. I want it to be a delicious little heap of chocolatey stodge.

Same thing.

[Mike]

Brownies are amazing and Baz brings shame on the whole family whenever his wrong opinion comes up.

[-james-]

My girlfriend makes vegan brownies using chia seeds as a replacement for the egg. It sounds like fucking nonsense but they are really pretty special. Incredibly gooey.

[niko_cee]

Surely it's just the amount of chocolate you use and the length of time you bake them for that determines 'gooey-ness'?

[Disco]

Surely it's just the amount of chocolate you use and the length of time you bake them for that determines 'gooey-ness'?

I found the way you make the actual mixture makes the difference, the bits of solid chocolate just get lobbed in at the end.

[Raoul Duke]

A good brownie needs a decent amount of salt in it too, to offset the sweetness

[Smjffy]

Any suggestions for a starter special that involves swordfish, chaps?

Today I'm making marinaded chicken satay skewers with a peanut butter dipping sauce. :drool:

I sold out within two hours. :cool:

Downsides though, I ordered 9cm skewers off Amazon for them and turns out they were much smaller than I anticipated and the one comment that I did get back was that they felt it was a little too salty which I put down to the Soy. I made the marinade then I made the dipping sauce which used the exact same ingredients as the marinade plus the peanut butter. In hindsight I should have coated them in the dip as opposed to serving it in a little pot whilst just char-grilling the skewers as it would have taken away some of the saltiness.

I didn't find anything for the swordfish and it got thrown out eventually, not too much, thankfully.

[Ian]

Surely if push comes to shove you don't do anything fancy with it so much as you just fry it up as a steak or do it in a parcel or something with some seasoning and herbs?

Just binning it seems a waste.

[Baz]

I ordered 9cm skewers off Amazon for them and turns out they were much smaller than I anticipatedIts a shame there was no way to tell how big they were, before you got them.

[Spikey M]

Smiff is famous for over estimating length.

[niko_cee]

9cm?

:D

That can't be much bigger than a toothpick.

[Smjffy]

I thought they were 9inch you cunt lol

[Giggles]

Misty Ricardos Rogan Josh with the topping (didn’t have cherry tomatoes) :drool: :drool:


https://i.imgur.com/OM3Edab.jpg


https://i.imgur.com/l3wZvsA.jpg

[Lewis]

There is one round the corner that does impossibly cheap, good quality breakfasts, so I've decided to try their non-breakfast things to see whether it extends to the rest of the menu. The omelette was a disgrace, but their homemade pie and chips was spectacular for six quid or whatever it was.

I went for cheeseburger and chips today ('All of our burgers are gourmet' - doesn't say what), and it's another winner. If it had been on a board in a pub with some wank salad and a flag stuck in it you would have been paying twelve quid; but because they just dump it on a plate you can have it for six fifty.

[Adamski]

Misty Ricardos Rogan Josh with the topping (didn’t have cherry tomatoes) :drool: :drool:


https://i.imgur.com/OM3Edab.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/l3wZvsA.jpg

Looks cracking. I did the Bhuna tonight, absolute piece of piss with the base and onion paste already made.

[Giggles]

It’s so handy with everything ready. I love that bhuna too, the green pepper comes through so much more than you’d think.

[Clunge]

It took me years to appreciate capsicum as a flavour, whether it's completely mild or searing hot. The Mexicans seemed to grasp it centuries ago.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Got bored of only having a microwave (fuck the slow cooker) so bought a George Foreman grill as well as a dual electric hob.

Haven't used the hob yet (need to get pans from the storage locker or just buy another) but it was so good to grill a bit of pork and veg.

[Shindig]

What's odder: Only having a microwave or not having a microwave? Because I get some questionable remarks for the latter.

[Spikey M]

Why would you not have a microwave? Admittedly ours gets more use as a makeshift breadbin than as a tool for cooking, but they cost fuck all and they serve a purpose.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What's odder: Only having a microwave or not having a microwave? Because I get some questionable remarks for the latter.

I only have a microwave because our kitchen isn't done (or any room for that matter) and will be one of the last rooms done in the house.

[Giggles]

Someone refusing to have a microwave is just being massively pretentious.

[Shindig]

The oven was there when I moved in and the stuff I buy has instructions for both. It's not a refusal if I don't necessarily need one.

[Disco]

I don't have one but it's not some lifestyle choice, I never use them so why would I buy one.

[Giggles]

Oh yeah that's normal enough, no point in going out for something you've never wanted. I meant the twats who SIMPLY COULDN'T have one near them at all.

[Pepe]

I had one, then it broke, and realized that we didn't really need it, so didn't have one for a few years. Our new apartment has one, so now we have one again, but we have yet to use it.

[-james-]

My parents are oddballs so the first time I used a microwave was at university. I have one now and I think the only time I use it is to heat up rice.

[Shindig]

My parents used theirs religiously. Microwaved bacon is awful. And chicken, too.

[Spikey M]

They cook bacon and chicken in the microwave? :|

[Foe]

That can't be serious?

I only ever used mine for three things:

1. Rice
2. Porridge
3. Chocolate nesquick

[Clunge]

Since I moved a couple of months ago, I've coped well enough with a microwave. But they're handy for defrosting, reheating, the odd ready meal, etc. I'm not one for treating it like a replacement for a traditional oven, hobs, and so on. After watching my mum microwave bacon for years and it just looking like flabby er=urghrhrhness, I found that if you microwave streaky bacon and give it a good 3-4 mins, it will crisp up.

[Spikey M]

Stop microwaving bacon you fucking 'spergers.

[randomlegend]

Bacon in the microwave :D

Fucking asylum-dwellers.

[Giggles]

It actually doesn't do it too badly if you want it quickly. Upside down bowl and drape the rashers across it.

[Shindig]

That's the thing. I like bacon with a little crisp to it. The microwave just turns it into a soaked mess. As for chicken, I never got why my parents did that. They did have microwave cookbooks which probably explains it. It doesn't even save time to do it that way. Fucking boomers.

[Giggles]

Oh yeah, it’s only if you need a quick bit to fire into a omelette or something where it doesn’t matter how it’s cooked. I’m grilling it if I want to eat it as bacon (or frying it if I’ve beans).

Chicken? No.

[Spikey M]

I had no idea this was even a thing. My whole world view is crumbling.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I tried microwave bacon once.

It will go crispy if given enough time but it just doesn't taste quite right.

[SvN]

Bacon in a hot frying pan takes a few minutes per side anyway. How fucking lazy do you need to be to microwave it?

[Spikey M]

It's not a question of laziness. You'd need to have an actual disability.

[Shindig]

Yep. It's why people with ADHD set their kitchens on fire. "I can do toast. OH, LOOK AT THIS!" <flames>

[Pepe]

I agree with bacon on the microwave being for deviants, but rice? That's some fucked up shit too, you weirdos.

[Giggles]

I gave up trying too cook rice years ago. For the amount of people that say it’s easy, none of them have ever been able to offer anything more than “ah you just leave it for a while and you know when it’s done”.

Microwave pouches all the way.

[Pepe]

Rice is a weird thing. Everyone in Mexico could cook some cracking rice, no problem. Yet getting good rice over here seems almost impossible, to the point that I wonder why people even bother cooking/serving it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rice is piss easy.

Rinse if its starchy type (like basmati) then boil for however minutes on the packet in loads of water. Trying to cook it with X amount of water always fucks it up.

[mugbull]

Just buy a fucking rice cooker, it does it for you

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I had a shit rice cooker once and it kept burning the bottom.

[Pepe]

You don't fry the rice before cooking it?

[Giggles]

I bought one and it only made wallpaper paste. Maybe you need a really expensive one but if I’m having rice it’s with a sauce so the microwave pouches are just fine at 52c for two portions.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You don't fry the rice before cooking it?

I sometimes do, it depends on what I'm making.

[Giggles]

Yeah I wouldn’t fancy that flavour off rice for certain cuisines.

[Disco]

I only ever use long grain / basmati but I've never gone wrong using twice as much water as rice and leaving it on a low heat (lid on) until all the water has gone.

On the microwave thing, did no-one else used to read the Innovations catalogue that came with the weekend paper? That had (among many other very random things) a whole range of microwave cooking implements for various different things.

[Shindig]

Yeah, that's how mine's done as well. I've always found rice to be simple.

[Giggles]

It was different back in the days where an Uncle Bens was 2 quid a pouch or when the only other option was Tilda for 1.50, but the own-brand ones are dirt cheap now. I gave up trying to find out how it was done then.

[randomlegend]

I gave up trying too cook rice years ago. For the amount of people that say it’s easy, none of them have ever been able to offer anything more than “ah you just leave it for a while and you know when it’s done”.

Microwave pouches all the way.

For white rice;

Rinse under cold water until the water runs clear. Put in pan. Add 1.5 times the weight in water. Add some whole spices if you want (cardamom pods, star anise). Bring to the boil. Lid on and boil on low-medium for ten minutes. Turn off the hob, don't take the lid off and leave to steam for 10 minutes.

Perfect rice every time.

I never cook brown rice.

[Giggles]

Last time I did something like that I had to strain the water off it so it was like gloop.

[Boydy]

People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?

[randomlegend]

Last time I did something like that I had to strain the water off it so it was like gloop.

Try it. I used to hate cooking rice but since I've done it that way I've never had an issue.

[Giggles]

People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?

Giving them to the butler cold keeps him in his place.

[Disco]

People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?

No.

[Lewis]

My Sistema microwave rice cooker is up there with the best things I've ever bought. Not only does it do perfect rice, but I always knew those Africans I lived with were taking the piss leaving rice boiling all day and night, so it has made me a better racist as well.

Lads. Get on board.

[Giggles]

This?

https://www.amazon.com/Sistema-Microwave-Collection-Rice-Cooker/ (https://www.amazon.com/Sistema-Microwave-Collection-Rice-Cooker/dp/B00BTIVNT4?th=1)

[niko_cee]

I probably mentioned it at the time, but I have one of these (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Joseph-M-Cuisine-Microwave-Grain-Cooker/dp/B012W9BI2K) and it's excellent.

[Lewis]

This?

https://www.amazon.com/Sistema-Microwave-Collection-Rice-Cooker/ (https://www.amazon.com/Sistema-Microwave-Collection-Rice-Cooker/dp/B00BTIVNT4?th=1)

Yes. lol at niko's faggy remain-voting equivalent.

[randomlegend]

Making some little cakes to take to work tomorrow, just boiled the glaze over on the hob. Fucking hell, what a mess. WHAT A MESS.

[Lewis]

I hope they get confiscated and binned.

[mugbull]

People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?

Leftovers always taste far better if they're put in the oven or on the skillet. But yes, the microwave method is a bit faster

[randomlegend]

I hope they get confiscated and binned.

I don't work in Maoist China.

[Lewis]

False.

[Spikey M]

Leftovers always taste far better if they're put in the oven or on the skillet. But yes, the microwave method is a bit faster

It depends what it is. Nobody should be microwaving pizza, but a Chicken Chow Mein or something is fine in the microwave. No need to fuck about.

[Pepe]

People who say they have no need for a microwave? Do you never heat up leftovers?

In a pot and on the stove, or in the oven.

[Spikey M]

Why not build a fire in the garden you fucking savage.

[Pepe]

I don't have a garden.

[-james-]

Frying pizza face down to re-heat it. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I fry pizza crust side down on the lowest heat but with a lid on top.

It's the best way to get it as it was.

[Spikey M]

Had Lasagne for dinner (leftovers tomorrow will go in the oven. Having a decent topping demands this).

However, we had it at about 3 so I'm hungry again. There's some halloumi in the fridge and wedges in the freezer.

Going to drown the shit in chilli sauce. :drool:

[randomlegend]

https://www.greatitalianchefs.com/recipes/lasagne-alla-bolognese-recipe

Lasagna is so good. I've made this recipe a couple of times (including making the pasta), and whilst it's definitely quite a lot of effort it's so worth it. :drool:

[Dark Soldier]

Been a while lads

https://i.imgur.com/xXWeHZq.jpg

[Spikey M]

:drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I went here last week for a kebab:

http://willesden.lezzizcharcoalgrill.co.uk/

Was delicious. A few of us shared their jumbo platter with lamb and chicken donner, lamb chops, lamb ribs, chicken wings, chicken shish, lamb shish and kofte.

Just a huge plate of meat on top of rice and bulgur wheat.

[Giggles]

I made that Rogan Josh again and it was class but now I wish I'd that kebab.

[John]

That looks quality. I might pop round and get a mixed kebab at half time in the NFL games. The place near me gives you three full animals for a tenner.

[Giggles]

#pilaufromapouch

https://i.imgur.com/P1SKZDk.jpg

[Dark Soldier]

I'd slap me cock in that no worries Giggles

[Giggles]

Made this today and it's lassies gonads. A class one for anyone not interested in the faff of making the curry base, etc.


https://youtu.be/Y9po0Gd7Rio

https://i.imgur.com/GHYtqHw.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Looks like what you might find in a public toilet.

Will have to try it some day.

[Giggles]

I’d chance making it first. You never know if you’d get the right consistency in a toilet.

[igor_balis]

I'm sure I've asked you cunts before, but does anyone have any suggestions of good, healthy BATCH COOKING meals? I like cooking, but I'm also happy enough to eat the same thing for dinner 3 or 4 days in a row (it's also more economical as a single loser).

[igor_balis]

In fact I'm pretty sure when I asked before the only response was Mokbull (yo) just telling me to eat supermarket pizzas for dinner every day.

[Giggles]

The recipe above is 4 portions and I posted a few slow cooker ones before that are multiple servings. All easy to reheat.

[igor_balis]

The recipe above is 4 portions and I posted a few slow cooker ones before that are multiple servings. All easy to reheat.

Aye, I love curry so I'll go back and have a proper look at the stuff you've posted up thread. Is a slow cooker an essential appliance for the majority of your recipes?

[Giggles]

Aye, I love curry so I'll go back and have a proper look at the stuff you've posted up thread. Is a slow cooker an essential appliance for the majority of your recipes?

No, most slow cooker recipes can be made in a big pot for a shorter time anyway.
A lot of the curries I posted the last while would have prep done and are a single portion made to eat, but the last one there is a single pot one that could easily be doubled if you wanted.

[igor_balis]

thanks mr giggles

[Ian]

1172187729372811264

No no no.

[Spikey M]

I would. :drool:

[Shindig]

I might. The gravy has to do most of the work, though.

[Ian]

My friend sent me a referral to get a cheapo Gousto box (8 meals for £14) so I thought I might as well give it a bash. I'm pleasantly surprised so far. I've tried the tandoori fish thing and a haddock florentine spaghetti and both are pretty nice.

I mean unless I refer somebody and get the credit back for it I doubt I'll use it again as it'd be a bit pricey for me but it's decent stuff.

[SvN]

We did it for about 6 weeks until the discounts wore off. Now we just buy the same ingredients from the supermarket and make the best meals from their book.

[Disco]

What are they, ready meals of some kind?

[Ian]

You choose a bunch of recipes and they send you all the food but you do the prep and cooking yourself.

It seems to me that if you've not got it super cheap as I have then the two benefits are a) not having to go and do a food shop and b) getting everything in the exact right quantity for the recipe.

[Smjffy]

It seems to me that if you've not got it super cheap as I have then the two benefits are a) not having to go and do a food shop and b) getting everything in the exact right quantity for the recipe.

I was wondering why you felt £14 for 8 meals was excessive initially. What's the cost usually?

[Ian]

I think what I've got would normally have cost me upwards of £30.

[Boydy]

What are the portion sizes for those things like? I've been tempted to try them but always thought the portion sizes would be too small.

Also, not being in for the delivery is a problem.

[Ian]

They'll deliver any day of the week at no extra cost, I think. I certainly got mine on Saturday.

And the portion size for the two things I've had has actually been really good, I was dubious about that too.

I reckon the pasta one could have been split among three people without shortchanging anybody if you had bread / a side to go with it.

[Giggles]

The sistema rice cooker was a disaster. Pouch to save the day.

[niko_cee]

Should have listened to me instead of Lewis.

[Giggles]

I mostly blame myself given my track record, but the instructions are horrendous. 500-600ml of water for 8-12 minutes? I need specifics.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, that's a bit shocking. I think I've always erred towards the longer suggested time but that might be because my microwave is a puny 750-watter.

I think mine goes 2/3 cup of rice (it comes with a measure), 300ml water, 12 mins on full beans, 5 minutes standing thereafter.

[Giggles]

I wouldn’t mind if it said xxx ml and yyy mins for zzz W of microwave, but there’s no mention of wattage levels.

[Boydy]

They'll deliver any day of the week at no extra cost, I think. I certainly got mine on Saturday.

And the portion size for the two things I've had has actually been really good, I was dubious about that too.

I reckon the pasta one could have been split among three people without shortchanging anybody if you had bread / a side to go with it.

Was gonnna give it a go but they don't do Belfast yet. :moop:

Looked at HelloFresh as I know they deliver here but for some reason only seem to offer me a Tuesday as my delivery day. Useless.

Ordered a trial box from Simply Cook instead. They just send you spices/herbs/marinades etc and you have to buy the fresh ingredients that are needed for the recipe. The box is supposed to be able to fit through the letter box so I won't have to worry about not being in.

[Ian]

Well I just cooked my third thing from it and it's all been genuinely tasty. A piss easy cream cheese sauce which I'll definitely be doing again.

[Lewis]

It's trial and error. I go 100 ml of water per 25 grams and then give it eighteen minutes.

[Kikó]

You choose a bunch of recipes and they send you all the food but you do the prep and cooking yourself.

It seems to me that if you've not got it super cheap as I have then the two benefits are a) not having to go and do a food shop and b) getting everything in the exact right quantity for the recipe.

It's why I do hello fresh plus it means I cook things I normally wouldn't eg this Creamy Aubergine Curry
https://www.hellofresh.co.uk/recipes/creamy-aubergine-curry-5abe414430006c74964d6cd2

[Smjffy]

I got a load of pineapples for a fiver so I'm going to make lamb, pepper and pineapple kebabs with a lime, chilli and coriander mayonnaise. :drool:

Unless anyone has any other ideas....preferably as starters or desserts.

[mugbull]

I froth it. Anything with coriander is amazing

[Ian]

Sadly pineapple makes my mouth feel all weird these days. Which is a shame because in the right meal (i.e. preferably not on pizza) I fucking love a bit of pineapple.

[Disco]

Just make a shit ton of pineapple and cheese, it cannot be improved upon.

[Boydy]

You could throw the pineapple away. That would improve upon it.

[Boydy]

I got a load of pineapples for a fiver so I'm going to make lamb, pepper and pineapple kebabs with a lime, chilli and coriander mayonnaise. :drool:

Unless anyone has any other ideas....preferably as starters or desserts.

Pineapple and coconut rice pudding.

[randomlegend]

Roasted pineapple is amazing in desserts. With something creamy and coconutty like a mousse or rice pudding as Boydy suggested. Maybe something crunchy for a bit of texture.

[Boydy]

Roasted pineapple is amazing in desserts. With something creamy and coconutty like a mousse or rice pudding as Boydy suggested. Maybe something crunchy for a bit of texture.

Some sort of brandy snap thing.

And then some dark chocolate in there somewhere.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Pineapple covered in cinnamon and brown sugar on the BBQ is incredible.

Have with a good vanilla ice cream and it's perfect.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tropical fruit makes pretty much anything better.

[Lewis]

The looks of disgust the waiters get when they try pushing barbecued pineapple in those meat restaurants. Get it out my face lad.

[Smjffy]

Pineapple and coconut rice pudding.

I would have probably gone for that but as luck would have it, we did a rice pudding dessert only last week.


Roasted pineapple is amazing in desserts. With something creamy and coconutty like a mousse or rice pudding as Boydy suggested. Maybe something crunchy for a bit of texture.

Joe Delucci coconut gelato, pineapple and peanut brittle is already on the standard menu but a good suggestion, RL.


Some sort of brandy snap thing.

And then some dark chocolate in there somewhere.

I have no Xanthan gum in to make the brandy snaps.

As it happens, I needed to use the lamb today so I've ordered in pork instead but I need to switch the dip as I don't think that would go. It's definitely going to be skewers again I think as they sold well when I did the satay chicken.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Do a pineapple tarte tatin.

[Smjffy]

That's not a bad shout tbh. If the pineapples are good by time the current special dessert is done with then yeah, I'll go with that. When I asked this morning I didn't realise we had so many apricot bakewells left.

Personally I find it a struggle for starter specials, desserts I tend to leave for another chef as I loathe the section, I'll prefer it when I have to do the meat and fish ones, I think.

[niko_cee]

You going with the 10cm skewers again?

Make a pineapple sambal for a savoury use.

[John]

https://i.postimg.cc/rFxwwhV8/DSC-1327.jpg

Filth. :drool:

[Giggles]

Oh yes.

[Adamski]

Sampled the delights of a salt and chilli munchiebox tonight but this could be on the agenda tomorrow. Donner meat in my last one was awful though - take it that place is southside?

[Smjffy]

You going with the 10cm skewers again?

Make a pineapple sambal for a savoury use.

I had to Google but truth be told I don't think it would sell where I'm at.

Skewers are much bigger although I didn't stick them on and went with pork loin instead. It's currently marinating. I did soy sauce, sesame oil, spring onion, brown sugar, chilli flakes and lime.

I'm having a great time at the moment incidentally, job thread or not, I'm really enjoying this cooking malarkey.

[Clunge]

Did this (https://www.theguardian.com/food/2019/sep/04/how-to-cook-the-perfect-souvlaki-greek-kebab) at the weekend - and it was fucking great. Would obvs be better on a barbecue in summer but what I did was suspend the skewers over an oven pan and roasted them at max heat for about 20 mins, basting twice with the leftover marinade, and then grilled them for a couple of mins to char them a bit.

Served with chips, a Greek / Portuguese Montanheira salad and tzatziki.

[Ian]

Chocolate Oranges for 75p in the Tesco next door to work. :drool:

[Smjffy]

I had to Google but truth be told I don't think it would sell where I'm at.

Skewers are much bigger although I didn't stick them on and went with pork loin instead. It's currently marinating. I did soy sauce, sesame oil, spring onion, brown sugar, chilli flakes and lime.

I'm having a great time at the moment incidentally, job thread or not, I'm really enjoying this cooking malarkey.

Thoughts?

[Smjffy]

After enjoying a week off I return to finally being allowed to do the meat/fish specials. I went with meat and so far I've come up with honey & garlic pork chops, fried rice with bacon and a side of broccoli sprinkled with Parmesan. I don't need it until tomorrow but does that sound nice? I can imagine the plate in my head.

Suggestions welcome. Any meat except lamb ideally. Venison, duck etc are all acceptable but I figured pork chops would practically sell themselves. Thoughts?

[niko_cee]

Fried rice with bacon sounds a bit mental, but then, bacon is good.

Parmesan a bit of an outlier on an otherwise sort of asian sounding plate, but, again, parmesan improves most things.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's a bit salt heavy but I'd gobble it down.