Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

[SincereTheRebel]

For what? There's about 12 poster here and I doubt 10 want to listen to the other two.

The people have spoken.

[Smjffy]

I posted some good numbers for the WDYTOE tbf.

[mugbull]

That's what everywhere fucking sells them as.


Blah blah blah something

That’s my point. They’re fucking great but if you eat them when you want fries you’ll be perennially disappointed

[Giggles]

Burn.

[mugbull]

I don’t know how to multiquote on mobile so you’ll have to go find a stalagmite to cry on

[Giggles]

The quote thing with the + on it. A blue tick will appear. You're welcome.

[Smjffy]

Tea time.

Pan-fried fillet of Seabass, Wasabi, Spring Onion & Garlic Crushed Potatoes, Sweet & Sour Asian Salad, Cocucunut, Star Anise, Ginger, Citrus and Honey and a side of Hispi Cabbage.

https://i.imgur.com/8u06sHr.jpg

Sadly I initially ordered a surf and turf hence the Shiraz, I'd have had a nice white otherwise.

[Raoul Duke]

Red > White all the time

[Spikey M]

Piss > red wine

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'll have a Coke Zero please.

[Smjffy]

I fully agree. I do like a red, just not with fish.

[Kikó]

Vinho verde - you can thank me next time.

[Boydy]

That’s my point. They’re fucking great but if you eat them when you want fries you’ll be perennially disappointed

When would you ever want them?

[mugbull]

All the time

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd rather have regular 'fries' every single time.

[Offshore Toon]

It is a stupid argument. If you're used to having potato 'fries' then of course you'd rather that in a situation where you'd want 'fries' as that's what you're used to. If halloumi was initially introduced as halloumi 'fries' there'd be similar complaints (although not as many, obvs). Sweet potato has its place in the food world, but it isn't as a side to steak.

[Smjffy]

I find SPF get ordered more on a Sunday than on any other day of the week.

True story.

[Pepe]

We already determined its place in the food world.

[Spikey M]

A guy I used to work with put forward the theory that 'aside from desserts, there is no meal that wouldn't be improved with the addition of a sausage'. Aside from the lame Melon starter you get at shit functions, I am yet to think of an exception.

[phonics]

There's a lot of bickering in this place but we're all agreed that if it's on the menu, you're getting curly fries instead of regular, right?

[Smjffy]

:eek: We agree on something.

[Spikey M]

There's a lot of bickering in this place but we're all agreed that if it's on the menu, you're getting curly fries instead of regular, right?

Absolutely. And if Mugbull brings curly sweet potato fries to the table he gets a life time ban, right?

[Ian]

A guy I used to work with put forward the theory that 'aside from desserts, there is no meal that wouldn't be improved with the addition of a sausage'. Aside from the lame Melon starter you get at shit functions, I am yet to think of an exception.

I mean it'd improve the melon starter because it would actually give you something you'd want to eat.

[mugbull]

Sweet potato fries are a great side to steak!!

It’s like how Domino’s will be shit if you’re eating it as a pizza, but if you’re eating it as Domino’s its godly

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I mean it'd improve the melon starter because it would actually give you something you'd want to eat.

You've changed the fucking game.

[Spikey M]

Sweet potato fries are a great side to steak!!

It’s like how Domino’s will be shit if you’re eating it as a pizza, but if you’re eating it as Domino’s its godly

What does that even mean?

[Spikey M]

I mean it'd improve the melon starter because it would actually give you something you'd want to eat.

Melon is great, you bastard. It's no starter, but it's great.

[Lewis]

I would have agreed with the sausage claim the other day, but I had a sausage and cheese omelette from a greasy spoon on Saturday and it was the worst thing I've ever bought.

[mugbull]

What does that even mean?

Domino’s is a shit pizza. But it’s an amazing food

[phonics]

Melon is great, you bastard. It's no starter, but it's great.

Melon and Parma Ham for a starters is one of those things you judge europeans for and then you try it and realise that they're occasionally right.

[Spikey M]

I would have agreed with the sausage claim the other day, but I had a sausage and cheese omelette from a greasy spoon on Saturday and it was the worst thing I've ever bought.

Was it the sausages fault? If so, could it he that you simply had the wrong type of sausage?

[Spikey M]

Domino’s is a shit pizza. But it’s an amazing food

I disagree on both points. It's fine as a pizza, but pizza is over-rated crap anyway.

[Lewis]

Was it the sausages fault? If so, could it he that you simply had the wrong type of sausage?

I thought that it might be the cheap sausages, but they are fine with their breakfasts, so I think I have to blame them.

[Spikey M]

I thought that it might be the cheap sausages, but they are fine with their breakfasts, so I think I have to blame them.

Stop being a cunt and blame the omelette.

[Boydy]

What are you doing getting an omelette in a greasy spoon anyway?

[Spikey M]

Good lad.

[phonics]

Ordering something French in a greasy spoon... Join a Peoples Vote march while you're at it.

[Lewis]

There is one round the corner that does impossibly cheap, good quality breakfasts, so I've decided to try their non-breakfast things to see whether it extends to the rest of the menu. The omelette was a disgrace, but their homemade pie and chips was spectacular for six quid or whatever it was.

[Pepe]

Omelette is not breakfast food?

[Spikey M]

It is, but Lewis probably has it for dinner whenever he's dragged to a restaurant that does foreign food.

[Giggles]

I like an omelette but only if I make it myself.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sausage in an omelette doesn't work. Omelette fillings need to be less chunky than a sausage.

[Spikey M]

Have the sausage on the side.

[Giggles]

Just have the sausages.

[Kikó]

I disagree on both points. It's fine as a pizza, but pizza is over-rated crap anyway.

This is so fucking wrong it's unbelievable.

[Spikey M]

This is so fucking wrong it's unbelievable.

Sorry Daws, do you like yours paper thin with a mile of crust and half a hedge chucked on top? Get some stuffed crust down you lad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You can't say anything wrong about Italy or Portugal.

[SincereTheRebel]

Anybody made home steak before? I need a recipe.

[Giggles]

Anybody made home steak before? I need a recipe.

Cooking an actual steak?

I normally get a ribeye about ¾ of an inch (0.188 hands mokkers) thick, rub with rapeseed oil, add salt/pepper, get pan as hot as it'll go, put on for 1 minute, turn for another minute (throw in a knob of butter for the last 30 seconds). Remove and wrap in foil for 10 minutes.


.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rearing a cow, slaughtering it, butchering it, hanging the meat and then cooking it?

[SincereTheRebel]

Cooking an actual steak?

I normally get a ribeye about ¾ of an inch (0.188 hands mokkers) thick, rub with rapeseed oil, add salt/pepper, get pan as hot as it'll go, put on for 1 minute, turn for another minute (throw in a knob of butter for the last 30 seconds). Remove and wrap in foil for 10 minutes.


.

In thinking of giving it a go. I rarely eat steak and when I do, it's at some restaurant

[Kikó]

Sorry Daws, do you like yours paper thin with a mile of crust and half a hedge chucked on top? Get some stuffed crust down you lad.

pizza is not overrated crap. Have it how you want but good pizza is banging.

[mugbull]

Cooking an actual steak?

I normally get a ribeye about ¾ of an inch (0.188 hands mokkers) thick, rub with rapeseed oil, add salt/pepper, get pan as hot as it'll go, put on for 1 minute, turn for another minute (throw in a knob of butter for the last 30 seconds). Remove and wrap in foil for 10 minutes.


.

Whats rapeseed oil good for? Why not just olive oil?

[Lewis]

He is an oil hipster.

[Giggles]

Whats rapeseed oil good for? Why not just olive oil?

It's the one I have.

[Spikey M]

Isn't Olive Oil the hipster oil?

[Pepe]

Avocado oil is what the cool kids are doing these days.

[Baz]

Whats rapeseed oil good for?Sexual lubricant.

[mugbull]

Isn't Olive Oil the hipster oil?

Just like pasta

[Pepe]

Pasta is the hipster oil?

[mugbull]

Giggles is the hipster human

[Giggles]

Yes.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cooking an actual steak?

I normally get a ribeye about ¾ of an inch (0.188 hands mokkers) thick, rub with rapeseed oil, add salt/pepper, get pan as hot as it'll go, put on for 1 minute, turn for another minute (throw in a knob of butter for the last 30 seconds). Remove and wrap in foil for 10 minutes.


.

10 minutes is a long rest time.

Ribeye for me as well (king of the 'regular' cuts, fuck fillet) and will do 30 seconds a side if that with a 2 minute rest.

I generally don't eat steaks at restaurants because even if you ask for blue most places will only ever go as low as medium rare.

[Spikey M]

Just like pasta

I mean, what other oil do you get weirdos doing taste tests of? You don't see people sipping sunflower oil.

[SincereTheRebel]

No way will be able to stomach meat that is cooked for under a minute. Fuck that. I may as well chase down a cow in a field and sink my teeth in the side of her neck. That sounds way more satisfying.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I am a right philistine when it comes to steak. Medium and smothered in some kind of sauce. I'd ask for medium well if it wouldn't get me disowned by polite society.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

No way will be able to stomach meat that is cooked for under a minute. Fuck that. I may as well chase down a cow in a field and sink my teeth in the side of her neck. That sounds way more satisfying.

Try some steak tartare.

Fucking delicious.

[Shindig]

I always opt for medium rare. I feel that gives me some room for error.

[mugbull]

I’ll do medium rare if i dont trust the restaurant/chef and rare if i do. 1 minute a side is actually uncooked though

[Smjffy]

Medium rare with peppercorn sauce, a wad of chips, crispy crunchy curly fries, big ass home made onion rings and a single sweet potato. :drool:

[randomlegend]

Rapeseed oil has a higher smoke point than olive oil, which is why it's better for stuff like steaks where you want the pan screaming hot.

[John]

No way will be able to stomach meat that is cooked for under a minute. Fuck that. I may as well chase down a cow in a field and sink my teeth in the side of her neck. That sounds way more satisfying.

Sincere BelaLugosi rides again.

[randomlegend]

Chop the horns off and chase it through a warm kitchen is the saying I believe.

[phonics]

I found out today that

1) It's international cow day today
2) Cows have almost 360 degree vision.

[Baz]

“Almost.” How close?

Owls have like 270, right?

[Shindig]

Google says 300 degrees.

[SincereTheRebel]

Speaking of eyes, I found out the other day that all this laser eye surgery that people have and you still cant zoom in with your eyeballs.

[Ian]

:lol:

[Boydy]

Even worse than that, it only last about ten years at best.

[mugbull]

Even worse than that, it only last about ten years at best.

The place that I got mine done acknowledged as much. I can go back and get it re-done for free if necessary :cool:

[SvN]

It's meant to be permenant.

[Disco]

It's only corrective surgery, if your eyesight continues to degrade then all you can do is correct it again.

[mugbull]

It's meant to be permenant.

Not if you get it done at age 20 like I did

[Offshore Toon]

Mokers getting laser eye surgery explains so much.

[Smjffy]

Today I've had to make wontons. The mix is a doddle but shaping the little bastards is so fiddly. Lamb still cooking for another two hours for flatbread.

Chill con carne for nachos came out nice with a good kick and later I've got a nice150 cover buffet to prepare for tomorrow.

Mahows words sticking in my head with every fucking salad. Cunt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Today I've had to make wontons. The mix is a doddle but shaping the little bastards is so fiddly. Lamb still cooking for another two hours for flatbread.

Chill con carne for nachos came out nice with a good kick and later I've got a nice150 cover buffet to prepare for tomorrow.

Mahows words sticking in my head with every fucking salad. Cunt.

I made wontons once and it was horrible.

Incredible feeling when some of them came out fucking perfectly though.

[Smjffy]

I was no good the first time, no good this time either. I've got to make more when I go back too. :cry:

Currently YouTubing it and some of these Asian folk have mad skills at it. Crazy bastards.

[Giggles]

Mokers getting laser eye surgery explains so much.

Presumably he only got it because everyone else said he shouldn't.

[Baz]

I've had laser eye surgery. Well, ICL (https://www.optegra.com/treatments/phakic-icl-implantable-contact-lens/).

Procedure is dreadful but the results are amazing.

[mugbull]

Mokers getting laser eye surgery explains so much.

If I followed all the advice of the people on TTH I'd end up as Mahow

[mugbull]

I've had laser eye surgery. Well, ICL (https://www.optegra.com/treatments/phakic-icl-implantable-contact-lens/).

Procedure is dreadful but the results are amazing.

Is this a lot cheaper than Lasik and the like? Seems less long-term

[Offshore Toon]

If I followed all the advice of the people on TTH I'd end up as Mahow
I'd get it too if I was a nerd, but it is known to breed a certain type of person.

[Lewis]

Amigo had it and his posting went right down.

[Baz]

Is this a lot cheaper than Lasik and the like? Seems less long-termI think it’s more? Easy enough to replace the lens, should your eyes deteriorate after a while.

Cost £5k.

Bloke who did it then gave me a job, which paid way over the odds, so almost balanced it out.

[mugbull]

I'd get it too if I was a nerd, but it is known to breed a certain type of person.

The type of person who can catch his own prey in times of need?

[randomlegend]

Made meatball subs for tea. They were cracking.

https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2015/01/italian-american-meatball-sandwiches-recipe.html

https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2015/01/italian-american-beef-pork-meatballs-red-tomato-sauce-recipe.html

:drool:

[Smjffy]

I fucked off the wontons and decided to make some sort of shifty looking parcel. What a ballache. Another ballache is panne, so tedious.

Lamb came out lovely, drained all the juice and reduced it for a nice sauce too.

Tomorrow I'm doing a Greek Salad to stick it to you, @Mahow. I need a dessert too so I've ordered watermelon, mango, apples etc for a fruit salad with pavlova and a strawberry or raspberry coolie, I haven't decided yet. Dollop of ice cream to complete. I've pictured it. :Cool:

I'll stick a few pics up shortly so you can burn me. I would actually like the feedback regardless.

[Smjffy]

Fruit salad? :cool: Next plating I need to make sure I get a few different pieces of fruit. :moop:

[Spikey M]

Looks good. Shame about the dandruff.

[John]

Does look nice but you've got some cheek to call it a fruit salad. It's melon and ice cream.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There are two bits of strawberry...

Much better plating though.

[Smjffy]

Does look nice but you've got some cheek to call it a fruit salad. It's melon and ice cream.

To be honest I get away with it by using apple juice, cranberry juice and pineapple juice. There is mango in there too but it was shit when it came in so didn't have much. I also ate a lot of watermelon. The real cheek is how much I've got it on for.

I am legit curious about the plating etc though as if it's shit I'd like to know and even any suggestions. I can play then.

[randomlegend]

Is Smiffy a chef now or something? Legit I have no clue.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, he's In The Kitchen.

[Spikey M]

Look at that knife envy.

[Smjffy]

Is Smiffy a chef now or something? Legit I have no clue.

I've been a chef for nearly a year. I started as a KP in September 2017 then got dragged behind the line after Christmas, GM sent my ex home and stuck me on with zero experience and I've just been trying to learn since then, not helped by the fact I made a few wrong calls.

First place stuck on me a course for CDP, was quite chuffed as I think only six places were available and about 30 other commis in the other pubs but I got selected. Unfortunately I left before I cracked on

Then I moved to Cornwall thinking I was going to work with fresh fish etc but it was more a chip shop than anything, sea side and cheap food. Bit shit.

I then left and went home for a while so didn't do anything for a few months, then moved to current place which is where I've learned most as I get the freedom to make it as I like so long as it has what menu says it does. Left here in May, went home for a month, went to Dorset last week as prep chef/KP but two lazy ass Romanians took the piss so texted old boss and asked if any positions were available and a few hours later I knew I was leaving Dorset again.

In short, I'm nothing special but given I have never really cooked anything I'm pleased with where I've got to in such a short time.

[Smjffy]

I've made a cooled cucumber vegan soup today and I've got to be fair it isn't too bad.

Onions, garlic and chopped cucumber, sauté til softened, add your stock (actual veg stock as some of the store bought have Palm oil) and blitz. Salt and pepper, voila. Served cold with soy milk and dill but yeah, quite nice for what it is.

[Pen]

Sounds pretty decent to be fair. I was wondering what you had used instead of cream/creme fraiche. Might try that as I have some vegan friends and it’s sometimes a hassle as obviously I don’t know that many vegan recipes by heart.

[randomlegend]

I've been a chef for nearly a year. I started as a KP in September 2017 then got dragged behind the line after Christmas, GM sent my ex home and stuck me on with zero experience and I've just been trying to learn since then, not helped by the fact I made a few wrong calls.

First place stuck on me a course for CDP, was quite chuffed as I think only six places were available and about 30 other commis in the other pubs but I got selected. Unfortunately I left before I cracked on

Then I moved to Cornwall thinking I was going to work with fresh fish etc but it was more a chip shop than anything, sea side and cheap food. Bit shit.

I then left and went home for a while so didn't do anything for a few months, then moved to current place which is where I've learned most as I get the freedom to make it as I like so long as it has what menu says it does. Left here in May, went home for a month, went to Dorset last week as prep chef/KP but two lazy ass Romanians took the piss so texted old boss and asked if any positions were available and a few hours later I knew I was leaving Dorset again.

In short, I'm nothing special but given I have never really cooked anything I'm pleased with where I've got to in such a short time.

Cool. Best of luck!

[Smjffy]

Sounds pretty decent to be fair. I was wondering what you had used instead of cream/creme fraiche. Might try that as I have some vegan friends and it’s sometimes a hassle as obviously I don’t know that many vegan recipes by heart.

I only sold three but all ate it cold so I'm happy enough.

[Pen]

Looks like you nailed the consistency (is that texture for soup). Was it just cucumbers or did you use pickles too?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just slap half a cow down on the table and say fuck you to them Pen.

[Pen]

I went some months without meat myself. Always good to know how to make different things.

I made a tomahawk steak for the first time a week back and that was something I hope to make again.

[Smjffy]

Looks like you nailed the consistency (is that texture for soup). Was it just cucumbers or did you use pickles too?

Just cucumbers. Given I'd never made a soup, the ones I have made since trying are:

Mushroom
Spiced Carrot
Curried Parsnip
Pea & Mint
French Onion (smashed it on the first go tbh)
Honey Roasted Butternut Squash

Probably one or two more. I want to try my hand at a chowder or a meat soup at some point but I'm not confident enough yet and trying to do something prior to service is one fuck up I want to avoid.

[John]

My Aunt makes a quality chestnut soup. I'll get her recipe for you if you want.

[randomlegend]

Honey roasted squash sounds like it'd be sweet even for a dessert, and that vegan abomination can leave earth, but the others sound nice. Keep up the updates.

[Pen]

My go to recipe in soups is courgette, but I occasionally make cucumber, lentils and mushroom and leftover veggies too. Should really make soups more often, but as I eat lunch at work I usually want something a bit more filling for dinner.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think I've only ever made 3 types of soups from scratch.

Lentil & bacon, Cypriot egg and lemon (it's their version of chicken soup with rice, I also made the stock) and Trahanas soup (cracked wheat, you buy it in a package soak it overnight then boil it with some halloumi and a bit of milk to add creaminess).

[Disco]

That classic combo, egg and lemon.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That classic combo, egg and lemon.

Sounds strange but it's delicious.

Eggs help to thicken the soup.

[Spikey M]

So would flour, cream and a number of other things that aren't fucking egg.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Aren't you like a quarter Cypriot or something?

How have you not fucking tried it if so you twat.

[Spikey M]

I went to Cyprus for 2 weeks once but I'm not sure I'd push it that far.

[randomlegend]

How does egg + lemon = chicken + rice?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I went to Cyprus for 2 weeks once but I'm not sure I'd push it that far.
I'm sure someone on here was.

How does egg + lemon = chicken + rice?
It's called avgolemono which means egg and lemon which are ingredients in what is their version of chicken soup.

https://www.carolinescooking.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Avgolemono-soup-photo.jpg

Really simple too. Make a chicken stock, strain it, boil rice in said stock, shred chicken, in a bowl whisk together eggs and lemon juice then add some soup to the bowl whilst whisking so the eggs don't scramble, add mixture to the whole pot. Stir through and add the shredded chicken.

[randomlegend]

Ah I see.

[Smjffy]

My Aunt makes a quality chestnut soup. I'll get her recipe for you if you want.

I checked to see the season so maybe September/October time but part of me is iffy doing anything with nuts given how rife these allergens are. I swear most are made up.

[Giggles]

Godly.

https://i.imgur.com/0ZSrPtk.jpg

[SvN]

I had a chip and curry sauce baguette the other night when pissed. It was insane.

[Ian]

Well I got had a free Greggs' sausage roll and a free Hotel Chocolate 'Billionaire Sundae' for my lunch so life is downright tolerable.

[Baz]

Chicken nuggets on a crusty baguette =/= godly.

[Mazuuurk]

Jerusalem Artichoke soup is the best soup :drool:

But in general, soups are a bit shit.

[Boydy]

Chicken nuggets on a crusty baguette =/= godly.
It's chicken fillets, not nuggets.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41KpGVD3JZL.jpg

Following on from the BBQ sauce talk in another thread I decided to try this.

Not amazing but a lot better than any other BBQ sauce I've tried as, despite being sweet, had a slight spice to it as well as a decent amount of vinegar.

[Baz]

It's chicken fillets, not nuggets.Boneless chicken = chicken nuggets

[niko_cee]

I've never really got on board with chicken and cheese as a concept, but then I don't think I've ever had a 'parmo', so who knows.

[Giggles]

Boneless chicken = chicken nuggets

That's quite an odd statement.

These are nuggets?

https://m.tesco.ie/img/c/gw_320/ttl_31d/2url_img.tesco.ie/Groceries/pi/966/5057753180966/IDShot_225x225.jpg


.

[Giggles]

Some Maxols have signed up with Just Eat. Chicken Fillet Rolls delivered :drool:

[Foe]

Anyone ever used an Indian takeaway naan to make chicken fajitas?

Tempted to give it a try.

[Giggles]

The bread is superior to a tortilla and if it's unflavoured then what could go wrong?

[Spikey M]

Is it not too thick though? I don't think it would wrap tight enough to keep the filling in. Unless you plan on using a knife and fork like some kind of nonce.

[mugbull]

Is it not too thick though? I don't think it would wrap tight enough to keep the filling in. Unless you plan on using a knife and fork like some kind of nonce.

And thus was created the doner kebab

[Spikey M]

A doner, or even a shish is dry enough to maintain friction in a naan. Fuck it off and get a kebab Foe.

[Disco]

Just use the top/bottom half of the naan. It's essentially the same meal so it should work perfectly well.

[Clunge]

Anyone ever used an Indian takeaway naan to make chicken fajitas?

Tempted to give it a try.
When we lived in Cardiff, there was a ‘bab shop next to a chicken shot. Many a time did we just order a naan from the ‘bab place with full salad and sauces and then stuff it with fried chicken.

[John]

It's a big improvement on 'babbie, but 'bab shop? Are you nine years old?

[Baz]

What’s a good no-carb breakfast? I’ve been having Greek yogurt with mixed nuts and blueberries but would like to have a few options.

[Giggles]

2 fags and a large coffee.

[Giggles]

Seriously though, you probably would need to be having extra carb breakfasts, not carb free ones.

[Kikó]

You can make a smoothie if you want lower carbs.

[Baz]

Seriously though, you probably would need to be having extra carb breakfasts, not carb free ones.Nah, I’m fat (for me) so trying to drastically lower my carbs intake for two weeks before I go on holiday.

[Giggles]

Nah, I’m fat (for me) so trying to drastically lower my carbs intake for two weeks before I go on holiday.

You look about 6 stone.

[mugbull]

Bacon and eggs is about 0 carbs

[phonics]

You look about 6 stone.

I’m similar. It all goes straight to the gut and neck/chin. The rest of you doesn’t fill out.

Your answer is correct though. Nothing better for weight than being a smoker. All my mates who turned to vaping/quit have become right fat cunts.

[Offshore Toon]

Just skip breakfast (basically what Giggles said). You'll adjust very quickly.

[phonics]

I’m at Lardo (http://www.lardo.mx/m/) and it’s got one of the best menus I’ve ever seen. There’s loads but it all sounds incredible. I had the chicken liver pate and Parma ham croquettes and am now waiting for the Grilled Sea Bass with saffron and porcini mushrooms. :drool:

[Offshore Toon]

Fucking hell! Chicken liver pate!

[phonics]

There anything you’re not bitter and angry about? How dare I order food I like.

[Giggles]

The croquettes are the only thing saving that list you gave for me.

[phonics]

Cool

[Smjffy]

I actually made chicken croquettes today. Making the bechamel is a ball ache when doing it in bulk given how quick it thickens. Throw some chopped anchovies in, parmesan cheese and a shit load of chicken. Boom. Easy and not too bad once fried.

[Ian]

I'd be all over all the stuff Phonics ordered there.

[Giggles]

I'd be all over all the stuff Phonics ordered there.

Cool.

[Ian]

:thbup:

[Giggles]

:)

[Giggles]

Curry time :drool:

https://i.imgur.com/AjXUGxc.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/aDw7g8M.jpg

[igor_balis]

Cool

[Giggles]

Cool

Zany.

[mugbull]

Zany is better than whatever the fuck you are.

Nice curry though

[Spikey M]

I've got a curry tonight too, but it's of the 'brought to my front door' variety. Chicken Goan, pilau rice, 4 papadums and a chilli naan. :drool:

[igor_balis]

I haven't eaten since my classy spoons bbq chicken melt at 7pm yesterday. Think I'm gonna demolish a disgusting greasy takeaway of some description when I get back from Manchester . Any suggestions? Not sure I can face a curry tho.

[phonics]

Been here for 10 days. Had to end with the shits, was just on too good a run.

[Boydy]

Been here for 10 days. Had to end with the shits, was just on too good a run.

So much for Lardo.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Never trust the chicken liver pate.

[Giggles]

https://i.imgur.com/AmTNAfS.jpg

[igor_balis]

Okay that is actually cool. Cool .

[Spikey M]

I bet Phonics is getting flashbacks though.

[phonics]

So much for Lardo.

Nah it was way later. Had something with ice cubes in it like a nub. I was halfway through the drink before thinking about it. After a week of using bottled water to brush my teeth as well.

[Smjffy]

The place I work at stuck my starter special on the Instagram yesterday. :cool:

Wrong mozzarella arrived so I asked for some heritage tomatoes and voila. Not something I would eat personally but I sold a few. Basil dressing, buffalo mozzarella, tomatoes and a sprinkling of pepper.

[SincereTheRebel]

GameChanger :drool:

https://i.ibb.co/nCmDTWT/DD0-F9-CD4-6-E34-4-EFF-AC5-D-1-F3-D257-EA011.jpg (https://ibb.co/pyw3gmg)

[igor_balis]

Went for Ethiopian food at the blue Nile in Birmingham tonight. Absolutely quality, definitely go for eritrean/Ethiopian food if you get a chance. Some fussy eaters in the party and even they loved it. The enjera (staple bread that's like a thin sour crumpet) was the one thing that divided people a bit.

[mugbull]

The injeera is canonical. Such good cuisine

[Mazuuurk]

I've had it once or twice and found it utterly disgusting, myself.

[Baz]

Third time lucky.

[mugbull]

I've had it once or twice and found it utterly disgusting, myself.

Have you ever had sourdough bread?

[Mazuuurk]

Yes.

[Smjffy]

@Mahow

On a plate instead of in a bowl?

https://imgshare.io/images/2019/08/01/IMG_20190801_143803.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Looks better than cramped in a bowl, a lot more appetising.

I reckon you'd be a bit better off chopping the cucumber and incorporating it into the salad though. Looks a bit weird as a cross hatch of chips.

You've come a long way from YouTube omelette disaster though.

[John]

Stick a little garlic based dip on the side and you could probably get away with putting about four quid on the price if you call those cucumber spears 'crudite'.

[Smjffy]

Looks better than cramped in a bowl, a lot more appetising.

I reckon you'd be a bit better off chopping the cucumber and incorporating it into the salad though. Looks a bit weird as a cross hatch of chips.

You've come a long way from YouTube omelette disaster though.

I still blame the electric cooker. Thanks for feedback though.


Stick a little garlic based dip on the side and you could probably get away with putting about four quid on the price if you call those cucumber spears 'crudite'.

A nice garlic aioli with carrot, cucumber and something else, as to whether I would get away with it is a different matter. The above salad is £13.50 as it is, £9.50 for a small. Pricey but people seem to pay it as those and the flat breads fly out at lunch time.

[Ian]

£13.50? Remind me what's in it?

[Spikey M]

A view of the sea.

[randomlegend]

£13.50, what the fuck.

[Mazuuurk]

A nice garlic aioli with carrot, cucumber and something else, as to whether I would get away with it is a different matter. The above salad is £13.50 as it is, £9.50 for a small. Pricey but people seem to pay it as those and the flat breads fly out at lunch time.


Aioli always has garlic in it. Else it's not Aioli. There's no such thing as garlic aioli, it's like saying "football ball". How are you even a chef?

[mugbull]

That’s probably one of those products with an inverse demand curve, you could charge 15 quid for it instead of 13.50 and get more people to buy it. Insane

[SvN]

A restaurant by me charges £16 for a Caesar Salad. My wife ordered one and 3 of the ingredients were missing (pancetta, egg and shaved parmesan). She told the waiter, and he said it was because they'd ran out of them. Might've been nice to know that up front, dickhead. Obviously she asked for her money back.

[Mazuuurk]

How did she notice the egg missing? It's just in the dressing isn't it?

[SvN]

It was a boiled egg.

[Mazuuurk]

Ah right. That seems an odd thing to put in a Ceasar sallad anyway, but if they said it would be there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Probably better with the egg missing tbh.

The pancetta and parmesan are absolutely crucial though.

[Mazuuurk]

Tell you what the absolute worst thing you can possibly do to any sallad is. Stick Iceberg lettuce in there. The stuff tastes of fuck all, is fucking watery and makes everything just bland as shit.

[randomlegend]

Caesar salad without the parmesan is like aioli without the garlic ffs.

[Smjffy]

Aioli always has garlic in it. Else it's not Aioli. There's no such thing as garlic aioli, it's like saying "football ball". How are you even a chef?

I forgot you're supposed to know everything over night eh. I have barely a year experience.

[mugbull]

Yeah Maz seems to have gone full John there

[Mazuuurk]

I forgot you're supposed to know everything over night eh. I have barely a year experience.

Maybe not overnight buddy but in a fucking year yeah, you are supposed to know this shit.

[Giggles]

Made an absolutely savage ceylon chicken there. Indian every night this week :drool:

[randomlegend]

Alright Maz, give him a break.

[Mazuuurk]

I fucking won’t. I can help him become a better version of himself. A version that knows what Aioli is and that doesnt ever put iceberg lettuce anywhere else but the fuckin bin.

[Smjffy]

There's no iceberg lettuce in the kitchen, it's baby gem which is better. That's perhaps what you're seeing.

Now I know that Aioli always contains garlic but then I would have sussed it out for myself if/when I decided to make some. If I was going to do it I'd have stuck it on my prep list then when I finish I have a Google for recipes, methods etc so would have clocked it then.

You won't offend me, I know I'm very inexperienced but the experienced people I do work with like my honesty. I ask questions, I make notes, I research stuff, the origins, the history but my strength is service. Prep I'm slow (not as slow as I was) but service I'll give an experienced chef a run. It's that part that I enjoy the most. Making sure everything goes out in a timely fashion, working in sync with team mates etc.

In the next year or two I reckon I'll reach sous level. I'm already ahead of the game in terms of where I should be. Some things I really should know at my level you're right but then others that I shouldn't be expected to kniw/be able to do and I smash it.

I do want to be knowledgeable but first I need to improve little bits that go against me. Mostly meats which I've started this week.

[Boydy]

Lots of places put 'garlic aioli' on menus, don't they? So it's not that ridiculous to not know it always contains garlic. I didn't know.

[phonics]

Lots of places put 'garlic aioli' on menus, don't they? So it's not that ridiculous to not know it always contains garlic. I didn't know.

That's an anglicism. The world itself is a compound of the words for Garlic and Oil.

[Boydy]

That's an anglicism. The world itself is a compound of the words for Garlic and Oil.

Yeah I know that having looked it up but if your main exposure to it is seeing it on menus where it often is written as 'garlic aioli' (because said menus are written in English) then it's not ridiculous to not know.

[phonics]

Maz not living in England wouldn't know that though. I think everyone can chill out.

[Smjffy]

Before moving into the kitchen the closest I would get to a restaurant other than one I worked in would have been Maccy D's anyway and if I cooked at home, chips and sausage in the fryer or maybe a microwaved bacon sandwich so I feel I've come a long way, even Baby Gem I didn't know what it was when I started as a KP in 2017, I think the fact you're constantly learning something is part of the appeal. On a slightly related note, I actually told my team something they didn't know...which is why we call a salad a salad. I only discovered that via Googling as someone said if it's not in a bowl it's not a salad so the amateur in me thought they were serious and Googled. It's the add on words that confuse me, Picante Marie Rose for example, I know what MR is but now I know Picante is just spicy. The terms of stuff confused me initially too, sweat, saute, braise etc. I think half the food I'm sticking out at the moment I wouldn't even dream of eating but it's nice to try a nibble to see. Today was lobster which I wasn't really a fan of.

I bought a encyclopedia type book which is known as the chefs bible, I find that's really helpful and informative but yeah, feel free to correct me Maz, you just don't need to be a dick about it.

[Mazuuurk]

Lettuce not take everything too seriously here.

[phonics]

Ok now I’m on their side.

[Mazuuurk]

Don’t be such an Egg omelette fucker

[Spikey M]

Redundant wording is pretty much the hallmark of British restaurants to be fair.

'Breaded fish gougons, sandwiched between freshly baked wheat bread with whole egg real mayonnaise' 9.5

[Jimmy Floyd]

£3 onto the price for every county mentioned too.

Fresh hand-reared Lincolnshire bacon with free range Devon eggs in toasted artisan sourdough: £49

[niko_cee]

£49⅘

[Raoul Duke]

Putting the pound sign on there is amateur level stuff

[Giggles]

The wife just landed home with this for me :drool:

https://i.imgur.com/OYzN48M.jpg

[Shindig]

Drown it in gravy and take another picture.

[Giggles]

It's gone, but indeed I did. They give you some in an extra tub.

[Giggles]

Made chicken ceylon again. Best it's turned out, was savage.

https://i.imgur.com/7AnZSNO.jpg

[Ian]

I've got a curry for my dinner tonight too but it won't look as nice as that.

[Disco]

That looks and sounds immense.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I had a banging curry at a place called Raj Tandoori a few nights ago (I had Lamb Biryani and also tried some king prawn tawa) and I'm also about to have one at my hotel in Coventry.

[Spikey M]

Apologies if massive. I'm on my phone.

https://i.imgur.com/8QWTfa2.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:drool:

[Giggles]

Fuck yes :drool:

Love a toad in the hole.

[Spikey M]

It's a cheat dinner really. Nothing that good should be so easy.

[Ian]

Christ I've not had a toad in the hole for the longest time.

Need to sort my life out.

[Disco]

I've got a lot of time for a good sausage.

[Clunge]

Made chicken ceylon again. Best it's turned out, was savage.

https://i.imgur.com/7AnZSNO.jpg
That looks beastly. Recipe?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've looked at the picture about five times now and every time I have this pavlovian mouth-watering response. Almost ordered a curry on the back of it at a weak moment earlier.

[randomlegend]

Yeah that looks spectacular.

[Giggles]

That looks beastly. Recipe?

I've been trying and tweaking loads of different takeaway style recipes over the last while (making the sauce base and precooking the meat, etc). I think that one is a sort of cross between Misty Ricardo, Al's Kitchen, Curry Frenzy, and one off a cookery forum. I've it scribbled down and I'll post it up later on anyway.

That one would nearly be my favourite of the 7 or 8 dishes I've settled on though a pathia is hard to beat too.



.

[Giggles]

Yes, ladle is not spelled correctly.

https://i.imgur.com/KOYOOlz.jpg

[Ian]

I love "cook until quiet" too. :D

[Giggles]

I love "cook until quiet" too. :D

Roaring at it to shut the fuck up.

[Ian]

The secret ingredient is unbridled fury.

[Disco]

I think you'll find it's point three where he adds a spoonful of meth.

[randomlegend]

What's "base"?

[niko_cee]

:D

I had to google way too much of that to make any sense of it.

[Giggles]

What's "base"?

The base, bunjarra, and meat cooking are all made in addition in large batches. It's a bit of a faff but because I cook so many I make them in large quantities and freeze them.

[randomlegend]

It's spiced caramelised onion paste from googling, is that right?

[Giggles]

Also the ginger garlic paste as most shop bought ones will go all over the kitchen as soon as it hits the oil due to them having some preservatives and vinegar in them.

[Giggles]

It's spiced caramelised onion paste from googling, is that right?

Yep. You're basically slow frying down onions for about an hour and adding in some garlic and spices before blending them into a dark paste. It's optional but I find them nicer with it, and it's nice for stews or gravy's etc too.

Nearly every one of them is made the same way apart from the mix of dried spices and the main flavours you add at the end. Like I made a vindaloo this evening and you're adding kashmiri powder instead of the fenugreek and fennel at the start and vinegar instead of the coconut at the end for the most part.

[Shindig]

I just love trying to reconcile 'White Van Giggles' with that handwriting and recipe.