Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

[Ian]

The Spikey / Maz meltdowns in WDYTOE 2020 thread. :drool:

[hfswjyr]

I made a really nice butter chicken in the slow cooker today.

https://i.imgur.com/qSN5nYa.jpg


.
Recipe? Got myself a slow cooker for Christmas, but recipe inspiration has deserted me.

[Giggles]

Recipe? Got myself a slow cooker for Christmas, but recipe inspiration has deserted me.

Was from some protein cookbook I seen in a spammy facebook ad so I downloaded the pdf of it, tried a few of them now and they're all nice and real handy.

(I also didn't realise how big that picture was).


https://i.imgur.com/gopPE4N.png

[Jimmy Floyd]

That does look class. The butter chicken recipe I do has way too much tomato, I'll try that one next time.

[Giggles]

Needed a touch of salt and I'd 1.5x the curry powder and garam masala, but it was very nice. Good butter flavour from only the two tbsp.

[Spikey M]

I might have to give that a go. That looks dangerously like brown rice though?

[randomlegend]

https://www.greatbritishchefs.com/recipes/murgh-makhani-recipe

I did this butter chicken the other day, which was also very nice.

[Giggles]

I might have to give that a go. That looks dangerously like brown rice though?

Nothing else left unless I wanted a pouch of Mexican rice.


https://www.greatbritishchefs.com/recipes/murgh-makhani-recipe

I did this butter chicken the other day, which was also very nice.

Sauce looks lovely on that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Brown rice is class. Actually tastes of something.

[SvN]

Had our second gousto box arrive on Friday and the mince went out of date the same day. Quality. Complained and got a partial refund for that meal, but not a great impression. You pay extra for convenience, and now we've got to go and buy mince from somewhere else to make the meal.

[niko_cee]

You could probably have just used the mince.

Partial refund sounds lol though. Was that just one of x number of meals or did they pro rata the value of the mince within the meal?

[Spikey M]

Brown rice is class. Actually tastes of something.

Rice is there to get covered in a sauce. I don't want the taste of tree bark fighting my curry.

[Giggles]

Actually I just noticed by the colour when I was reheating today that the above picture was peanut chicken that I made from the same book. This is the butter chicken:

https://i.imgur.com/WQQd3tm.jpg

[Giggles]

That's the peanut one. It's lovely too.

https://i.imgur.com/ybeXtkU.png

[Baz]

Was from some protein cookbook I seen in a spammy facebook ad so I downloaded the pdf of it, tried a few of them now and they're all nice and real handy.

(I also didn't realise how big that picture was).


https://i.imgur.com/gopPE4N.png

Do you cook (brown) the chicken prior to slow cooking?

[Giggles]

Do you cook (brown) the chicken prior to slow cooking?

No, just lashed it in raw. The base you make in the pan is very thick for the butter chicken so I put the chicken in the bottom and just put the base on top of it. When I was adding the yogurt loads of juice/water had come out of the chicken so it all comes to the right consistency when mixed.

[randomlegend]

Going to Restaurant Nathan Outlaw in April. Can't wait :drool:

[Adamski]

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/easy-butter-chicken

Made this on Friday, quality.

[Baz]

No, just lashed it in raw. The base you make in the pan is very thick for the butter chicken so I put the chicken in the bottom and just put the base on top of it. When I was adding the yogurt loads of juice/water had come out of the chicken so it all comes to the right consistency when mixed.:thbup:

https://i.imgur.com/GGRMKWd_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

[Jimmy Floyd]

How many paddy fields did you dredge to get all that rice?

[Baz]

Yeah I overdid it. Usually give myself more than I want cos my daughter thinks whatever’s on my plate is better, despite it always being the same, but I went a bit overboard tonight.

There was a well (volcano) though, it’s not all rice.

[-james-]

The well is my go to trick for making almost any meal involving rice look presentable, but you've really made a mess of it there.

[Baz]

I don’t need presentable, I need practical. I did have a one year old hanging off my leg while dishing out, that’s my excuse.

I’ll try better if I make the peanut chicken.

Was tasty anyway. And the amount of rice I chucked away could have fed a family of eleven.

[Lewis]

My Sistema microwave rice cooker is up there with the best things I've ever bought. Not only does it do perfect rice, but I always knew those Africans I lived with were taking the piss leaving rice boiling all day and night, so it has made me a better racist as well.

[Giggles]

I made the peanut one again today while I was in work. Had the perfect amount of rice with it today.

https://i.imgur.com/SvcCnpB.jpg

[Samadini]

:cool:

Giggles has been donning this thread for a while now.

[Spikey M]

:drool:

[-james-]

Fucking chips.

[Giggles]

:cool:

Giggles has been donning this thread for a while now.

Imagine if I could actually cook.

I also finally learned that you need to mix arrowroot with a drop of water (I've to use it instead of cornflour) so this one hasn't as many white speckles.

[Giggles]

Fucking chips.

You've had many, but that has to be the single most idiotic sentence of them all. Unless you accidentally hit post before you got to type '...are class' after that.

[Ian]

Getting food praise from Sama is dubious given the despicable things he does to Chinese takeaway.

[Adamski]

Isn’t everyone just using the bags of microwave rice at this point in society?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I use the proper regular stuff.

It's not hard, you need to rinse the starchier rices (such as basmati) and then treat it like pasta with loads of water.

[Disco]

Surely no functioning adult fucks up rice.

[Giggles]

I use the proper regular stuff.

It's not hard, you need to rinse the starchier rices (such as basmati) and then treat it like pasta with loads of water.

Not worth the hassle when Tesco have pouches for 55c.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The pouches taste like shit and are mushy.

You don't need to rinse long grain rice so it's effectively the same as pasta, it's not a hassle.

[phonics]

Microwave rice is absolute dog and anyone using it has no tastebuds. Rice is easy to cook but hard to perfect, the difference between rice pudding and overly dry is a matter of millilitres/seconds/when everything else is ready. I've never bought anything outside of bare essentials for the kitchen but a rice cooker is insanely tempting. The Co-Op does those 'buy it with nectar points' offer on them every once in a while so I might just go loyal to them for a month or two.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I had a shit rice cooker which worked well for a while but then it started burning the bottom and turning the rice into a big rice cake.

[Lewis]

Honestly lads. Sistema.

[phonics]

Honestly lads. Sistema.

This looks like what I'd give a child to keep his attention while I cooked. Get a zojirushi.

[Lewis]

Making myself a badge with DICKHEAD on would presumably be cheaper.

[Disco]

The one I use is great, plus you can cook other stuff in it too.

[phonics]

Making myself a badge with DICKHEAD on would presumably be cheaper.

Depends on the price of a glass of milk at the pub.

[Spikey M]

The one I use is great, plus you can cook other stuff in it too.

Is it a saucepan?

[Disco]

Maybe.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is it Japanese at least?

[Spikey M]

It has a fancy handle.

[Boydy]

Just get boil in the bag.

[randomlegend]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf75I9LKhvg

I've followed this since I first saw it and it comes out great.

Rice isn't as easy to get really right as people like to pretend.

[Disco]

Is it Japanese at least?

You've lost me now.

[Pepe]

Most rice outside of Mexico is shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This looks like what I'd give a child to keep his attention while I cooked. Get a zojirushi.


You've lost me now.

It was a shit callback tbf.

[Giggles]

Definitely need to use the slow cooker more. This may look horrendous but it was fucking :drool:, way nicer than if I'd given it an hour on the hob.

https://i.imgur.com/qu4gyb5.jpg

[Pepe]

Looks good to me. :drool:

[phonics]

Anyone got any decent recipes atm? I need to go to the shops and buy something for tonight but I'm feeling completely uninspired. Not something that'll take me hours of prep or need a million ingredients pls.

[Spikey M]

I brought a small truck full of massive prawns from Billingsgate a few weeks back. I'm going to make a tomato and chilli sauce for them and have with tagliatelle tonight. :drool:

[igor_balis]

Anyone got any decent recipes atm? I need to go to the shops and buy something for tonight but I'm feeling completely uninspired. Not something that'll take me hours of prep or need a million ingredients pls.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/apr/19/rick-stein-favourite-seafood-recipes

the Indonesian fish curry is really good.

[phonics]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/apr/19/rick-stein-favourite-seafood-recipes

the Indonesian fish curry is really good.

This recipe would cost about 50 quid here. So I caved and went and got some stuff for a sausage, chorizo and bean casserole.

[Baz]

I’m attempting a “beef and caramelised onion pie” for tea (evening meal). Can’t put stout in it, which has already spoiled the experience a bit, but I’m expecting it to be a complete success. :uhoh:

Doesn’t help that my wife left both of our pie dishes at work so I may have to make do using the little bowls I eat cereal from.

[Boydy]

Why can you not put stout in it?

[Giggles]

Can you put cereal bowls in the oven?

[Disco]

Probably not.

[Disco]

I'm on a fried rice kick at the moment, so quick and easy to make and the ingredients are whatever is left in the fridge.

[Giggles]

Probably not.

That should end well.

[Baz]

Why can you not put stout in it?
My daughters having it.

Can you put cereal bowls in the oven?Good shout. It shall be the worlds shallowest pie, in a Pyrex dish!

[Spikey M]

Cooking burns the alcohol off anyway.

[randomlegend]

Apparently it only gets rid of about 30% of the alcohol, but even so I'm sure it'd be fine

[Giggles]

Drop of Guinness be good for her anyway.

[Shindig]

Can you put cereal bowls in the oven?

Yeah but I get the feeling it's not good for them. They come out hotter than they would in a microwave.

[Baz]

Looks edible from the outside.

https://i.imgur.com/Yzl2w7s_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

https://i.imgur.com/YK6cxPe_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

Obviously it’s got a cock and balls on it.

[Foe]

That'll work nicely as a garden soccer world tour pre match meal.

[Baz]

https://i.imgur.com/3PtcMUv_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

:gs:

[Giggles]

:drool:

Would demolish that. Nice work.

[phonics]

This recipe would cost about 50 quid here. So I caved and went and got some stuff for a sausage, chorizo and bean casserole.

I've got it on the simmer now. The jus tastes lush :drool: I probably should have got a couple of new potatoes in there.

[mugbull]

Corn > Peas

[Spikey M]

https://i.imgur.com/3PtcMUv_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

:gs:

That looks good, but have you cheated and just put pastry on the top?

[Giggles]

That looks good, but have you cheated and just put pastry on the top?

That's a cardinal sin but from the first photos it looks like proper pie.

[Spikey M]

Didn't see that. Fair play.

[Baz]

Its a proper pie but mostly fell apart when getting it out the stupid Pyrex dish.

[phonics]

Corn > Peas

Not with gravy, that's weird.

[Shindig]

I've seen worse pies. Mainly thanks to Youtube recommending me this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYNGSzgoWXg

[Kikó]

Great pie work up above. Stunning.

[Ian]

Not with gravy, that's weird.

You don't have corn with gravy? Like on a roast dinner or with pies?

You're missing out.

[Dark Soldier]

You don't have corn with gravy? Like on a roast dinner or with pies?

You're missing out.

nah you're sick in the head

[Kikó]

I'm going to have to change my vote if I've voted Ian.

[Ian]

I didn't even know this wasn't a thing. Or that there was a debate, if it's not just me.

[Spikey M]

I've never had sweetcorn with a roast dinner but I'm not immediately appalled by the idea.

[Ian]

Mix 'em in with the peas.

[Spikey M]

Oh, I've done that. That's fine. Unsure on adding gravy to the affair, but I would probably eat it.

[phonics]

Sweetcorn with a roast dinner is mental.

[Spikey M]

One of my mates has a South African mum, and they have Macaroni Cheese with their roast dinners.

That is mental.

[Pen]

We just made some salmon cheviche. Also asparagus season seems to be starting and I just made my first bunch earlier today and they came out tasty.

Still need to make a broth from the leftover shit parts of the salmon.

[Spikey M]

Does your piss stink?

[Pen]

Didn’t notice as my farts were so rancid they replaced all the air in the bathroom.

[mugbull]

Grilled asparagus is phenomenal. Best vegetable.

[igor_balis]

Sweetcorn is the frosties of vegetables.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I don't like tinned sweetcorn.

[Boydy]

I could eat sweetcorn out of the tin.

[mugbull]

I also ate slightly burnt kale chips the other day and they were a blessing from the heavens

[Pen]

Grilled asparagus is phenomenal. Best vegetable.

Today I’ve learned that we agree on various food related things. Next logical step is BFF.

[Giggles]

I often mixed peas with corn but never had gravy, but if the hipster brigade says no then I'm all on it.

[Samadini]

There aren't many foodstuffs that won't be improved by the addition of gravy.

Sweetcorn and gravy is perfectly normal in my house, so you're not alone Ian. I imagine that will trouble you, rather than comfort you, soz.

[Raoul Duke]

I often mixed peas with corn but never had gravy, but if the hipster brigade says no then I'm all on it.

I'd quite happily have peas, sweetcorn and gravy on my roast. My working class roots are showing :blush:

I also have roast potatoes and mash, so perhaps my family are just deviants.

[Spikey M]

If you're having mash with a roast then it has to be Swede. Adding carrot is forgivable.

[Giggles]

I do like a bit of turnip but I'd rather none of my vegetables mashed.

[Manc]

Bang into French toast at the moment. Decadent yet fresh.

[Ian]

Made this yesterday with a three quid shoulder of pork I got at the supermarket:
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2604650/maplemustard-pulled-pork

Fucking delicious. I used wholegrain mustard that also had chilli through it.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I'm all for a bit of effort for results but check the nick of this-


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Kq8k7yTr8Y

:|

[Giggles]

Hadn't got sound on, but that ice bath looks like salmonella in the making.

[Shindig]

Anything that survives that deserves to kill him, to be fair.

[randomlegend]

It's a bit faffy, but it's not actually a lot of effort and it's got no mad ingredients or anything.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Hadn't got sound on, but that ice bath looks like salmonella in the making.

He says the quick boiling kills all bacteria.

I'll take his word for it.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

It's more the fact that the end result doesn't even look particularly crispy (if you can be arsed to watch part 2) given the time in advance you're having to do everything.

[randomlegend]

It's more the fact that the end result doesn't even look particularly crispy (if you can be arsed to watch part 2) given the time in advance you're having to do everything.

Bear in mind the one he's got there will have been sat around for ages and has almost certainly gone cold.

[Shindig]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvwaWresaI0

I think I prefer this method.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Most pathetic tea you've had recently?

In a proper case of 'seriously cannot be fucked', I've just had 8 hot dogs in a bowl with mustard and tomato sauce and nothing else. Pathetic yet fantastic.

Haven't had hot dogs in years, never disappoint.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A while back I slung a six pack of those supermarket mini sausage rolls in the oven and just ate them on their, and my, own. It's degenerate and glorious in equal measure.

[Giggles]

I love most teas that people would consider pathetic. Nothing better than flaking a load of stuff into the oven.

[phonics]

Most pathetic tea you've had recently?

In a proper case of 'seriously cannot be fucked', I've just had 8 hot dogs in a bowl with mustard and tomato sauce and nothing else. Pathetic yet fantastic.

Haven't had hot dogs in years, never disappoint.

That'll take some beating because it's the perfect blend of laziness, grossness and yet completely understandable.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

That'll take some beating because it's the perfect blend of laziness, grossness and yet completely understandable.

:beer:

I actually have a lamb tagine I've made tonight in the oven to redeem myself somewhat but the whole process is about 2/3 hours, hence the hot dogs.

[Giggles]

:drool: :drool:

https://i.imgur.com/m5apOOc.jpg

[niko_cee]

What type of hotdogs are we talking here?

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

https://groceries.asda.com/product/hot-dogs/ye-olde-oak-hot-dogs-in-brine/910001161761

I'm pleased to say the lamb tagine is fantastic though.

[phonics]

Jesus, in a can as well.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

:D

No half measures.

[Giggles]

It's not as if the ones that aren't in a can are gourmet anyway.

[phonics]

It's not as if the ones that aren't in a can are gourmet anyway.

I bought a can of hot dogs from Tesco once and it said on the ingredients that it was 21% salt.

[Adamski]

:drool: :drool:

https://i.imgur.com/m5apOOc.jpg

What do we have here?

[Giggles]

What do we have here?

A rack of beautiful beige filth.

Gudgens, fingers, onion rings.

[Ian]

:drool:

That's a proper dinner.

Tonight I had baked beans with a load of cheese through it and some sausages chucked in.

I think my best "what the fuck can I eat with little effort" meal was a lunch I had one weekend where because they were the only three things I had in I put potato wedges in the oven, slung a tub of Bombay potatoes over them and covered the lot with cheese. It was glorious.

[niko_cee]

Tinned hotdogs are just wrong.

Yeah, the slightly fancier (more expensive) ones probably aren't much better in terms of % pig's anus, but they are less abhorrent in both taste and texture terms.

And what is a gudgen when it's at home?

[Boydy]

A goujon?

[Giggles]

Indeed.

[Adamski]

Delicious.

[Giggles]

Those Mash Direct onion rings are class. They also have savage beer battered chips and potato cakes.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Tinned hotdogs are just wrong.

Yeah, the slightly fancier (more expensive) ones probably aren't much better in terms of % pig's anus, but they are less abhorrent in both taste and texture terms.

And what is a gudgen when it's at home?

The taste and texture are exactly what's needed.

[Baz]

Most pathetic tea you've had recently?

In a proper case of 'seriously cannot be fucked', I've just had 8 hot dogs in a bowl with mustard and tomato sauce and nothing else. Pathetic yet fantastic.

Haven't had hot dogs in years, never disappoint.Not recently but about fifteen years ago, when my parents were on holiday they used to leave me and Mike money for food. Every night we’d either order a pizza or go the chippy. One time we either ran out of money or just couldn’t be arsed, so I had an iced lolly for my tea. :)

[Samadini]

I used to eat packs of jelly cubes without turning it into jelly. 16p meal.

[Spikey M]

I'd still do that :drool:

[Giggles]

That's the only way to eat jelly :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

We all used to do that at school circa 2003. What a time to be alive.

[Disco]

Nicking jelly from the commissary :drool:

[Baz]

Nicking jelly from the commissary :drool:I didn't realise you went to school in American barracks.

[Disco]

That's what the boarders larder was called. Take it up with some victorians if you like.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I used to go and play cricket away at places like Harrow (with my fellow day school oiks), some of the vocabulary used was genuinely baffling. Then I read a biography of Douglas Jardine recently in which it states that at Winchester they have to learn a whole other nonsense language called 'Notions'. For instance, P.E. is 'Ekker', toilet is 'Fo', expelled is 'Firked' and so on.

No wonder parliament is full of wankers.

[Ian]

Yeah there's a chunk of that stuff in Boy by Roald Dahl when he's talking about public school, but I dunno if that's specific to the ones he was at or if they're common across public schools in general. Boazers for prefects, 'fagging' for the kids who were basically prefects gofers in all sorts of demented ways, etc. Those sorts of collections of slang are interesting but yeah, it's basically a breeding ground for cuntery.

Edit: Google reminds me of "Graggers" for congratulations.

[Disco]

Fags/fagging is pretty universal I would think. The other stuff less so, I know we had different terminology based on what house or team you were in.

[Boydy]

God I can't wait till Corbyn closes down all the private schools.

[niko_cee]

:cab:

Didn't he go to one?

You mean public schools anyway, they're the really dickhead ones.

[Spikey M]

Look at Sir Boyd of Oxbridge letting those rich folk have it.

So disingenuous. A real leftie would vote for Spikey to show his loyalties are true.

[Boydy]

:cab:

Didn't he go to one?

You mean public schools anyway, they're the really dickhead ones.

I mean all fee-paying schools.

I think he went to a grammar. But it's not like it'd be impossible for someone to have gone to a private school but also think they're bad.

We should abolish grammars too (and I went to one of those). And all sorts of assessment until like 16 or 18. Just do what the Finns do, basically.

[Spikey M]

Eat pickled Whale cock?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Plantains are shit.

I've had them mashed and fried now. I cannot see the fuss at all.

[Spikey M]

Thay are alright as crisps as long as you do something to them so that they have, you know, flavour.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Thay are alright as crisps as long as you do something to them so that they have, you know, flavour.

You're right, these are amazing:

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51-6zPyja6L.jpg

Completely forgot about those.

[Adamski]

http://i68.tinypic.com/30su886.jpg

[Giggles]

I have dirt on the way. They just rang and said they'd no chicken breasts left so I ordered a burger.

[Adamski]

Bit out of practice posting images here, so fucked it last night :D

http://i67.tinypic.com/2qd4emg.jpg

[-james-]

El Perro Negro?

[Adamski]

Nah. Burger 7 in Coatbridge of all places. Was decent.

[Giggles]

:drool:

https://i.imgur.com/ScFMkBU.jpg

[randomlegend]

Guess I'll get in on the filth - Chinese tonight :drool:

[igor_balis]

:drool:

That's a proper dinner.

Tonight I had baked beans with a load of cheese through it and some sausages chucked in.

I think my best "what the fuck can I eat with little effort" meal was a lunch I had one weekend where because they were the only three things I had in I put potato wedges in the oven, slung a tub of Bombay potatoes over them and covered the lot with cheese. It was glorious.

My favourite was literally the only edible things left in my flat the day I moved out. Half ring of chorizo, a fairly big chunk of cheddar and a garlic naan. Chopped up the chorizo and cheese and put it on the naan, and cooked the latter in the oven to packet instructions. Delicious.

[Samadini]

The best lazy meal is Yorkshire puddings filled with baked beans covered in cheese.

[Pen]

I mean all fee-paying schools.

I think he went to a grammar. But it's not like it'd be impossible for someone to have gone to a private school but also think they're bad.

We should abolish grammars too (and I went to one of those). And all sorts of assessment until like 16 or 18. Just do what the Finns do, basically.

You mean choosing between vocational and high school?

Our educational system is getting worse by the minute anyway so I wouldn’t look to aspire to emulate that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You mean choosing between vocational and high school?

Our educational system is getting worse by the minute anyway so I wouldn’t look to aspire to emulate that.

It's still ranked in the top 3 by most sources, the only other seems to be South Korea.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Also two of the countries with the highest suicide rates, 'go figure' as they say in the New World.

[Lewis]

How do home-schooled kids compare with national averages? I don't see how the principle of banning private schools doesn't inevitably extend to all possible alternatives to being forced to attend the closest school to your house.

[Giggles]

This just popped up as an ad on my Facebook feed. Now it could be handy and all that, but anyone putting fruit salad on a plate with spaghetti bolognese needs locking up, not a fucking food divider.

https://thehooksite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/foodcubbyseperatingfood-1280x640.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

It could be handy for people with severe OCD. Anyone else using it needs their throat slit.

[Spikey M]

Anyone with their main and desert on the same plate probably is already locked up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Look at the fork being used as well, by what looks to be an adult male hand. I'm beginning to think serious crimes could be afoot here.

[niko_cee]

Surely it's for children, and they'll eat all manner of things in combination. They do not know the traditional boundaries of food.

[Disco]

No-one feeds children like that though, it's a solution for a problem that doesn't exist as anyone that bothered about separating their food would just use another plate.

[Shindig]

I can only think it's for people who only have one plate in their lives.

[igor_balis]

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/52985920_10161410916770384_8134008841273606144_n.j pg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=94eee2ac25933c24cb79d1f4ff64722f&oe=5D195BDD

no bacon nor black pudding sadly but it's doing the job

[Giggles]

Weirdly, I only had bacon and pudding this morning.

[Spikey M]

What did those poor eggs do to you?

[Giggles]

Actually I had eggs too. Mind un-blown.

[randomlegend]

What did those poor eggs do to you?

Yeah fucking hell. Everything else looks ace but they've been violated brutally.

[igor_balis]

the sound of them sizzling in the frying pan sounded like "seeeeeeethe" and i chimped out, turned the heat up to full and kept shouting at them that Magic only beat me by one vote and I deserved to get to the quarter finals

and i'm a pervert that prefers the whites of fried eggs to be crispy to the point of basically being burnt. yolk retained more liquidity than photo suggests, though.

[Pepe]

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/52985920_10161410916770384_8134008841273606144_n.j pg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=94eee2ac25933c24cb79d1f4ff64722f&oe=5D195BDD

no bacon nor black pudding sadly but it's doing the job

Get yourself some food cubbys ffs.

[Shindig]

I'm compounded by the fact he started eating it and then took a photo.

[igor_balis]

He? I'm right here mate :(

[Kikó]

This just popped up as an ad on my Facebook feed. Now it could be handy and all that, but anyone putting fruit salad on a plate with spaghetti bolognese needs locking up, not a fucking food divider.

https://thehooksite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/foodcubbyseperatingfood-1280x640.jpg


This is really useful. Thanks - ordered 100.

[Giggles]

Can't have the foie gras touching your terrine.

[Kikó]

That's not even food.

[Shindig]

Add those two to the list of words I need to hear Giggles say.

[Baz]

The state of that massive bite out the toast. :D

[Adamski]

Missed that first time round :D

[Spikey M]

I gave Igor some advice 24 hours ago, and he pretended to thank me but mentioned that he has a large head.

Now he's taking pictures including food that he's take exaggerated bites out of to make me feel bad.

What a cunt.

[Lewis]

Having yoghurt on his toast strikes me as the real issue.

[Disco]

It's bread and butter isn't it?

[Giggles]

If it's toast it's weak looking toast.

[Spikey M]

Actually, I also mentioned having Lasagna for Christmas Dinner as a kid, after my dad died, when we were cripplingly poor, and now he's posting pictures of his la-de-da breakfast just to rub his privilege in in my face. Absolute bastard.

[igor_balis]

:D fuck sake, I eat like an animal

it is buttered toast. i toasted it on the setting that usually gets bread respectably brown but obviously it was weird bread. everything else was ready and i couldn't be arsed to give it any longer.

[igor_balis]

Here's 12 year old me, with my head too big for the border on my junior baggies membership card:

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/318324_10150916342705384_903366070_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1 06&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=62d4b09366f1c747648f03c93868b941&oe=5CE236F9

[Spikey M]

'Oooh I can afford gas and electric to toast my bread'.

Fuck off.

[Disco]

Actually, I also mentioned having Lasagna for Christmas Dinner as a kid, after my dad died, when we were cripplingly poor, and now he's posting pictures of his la-de-da breakfast just to rub his privilege in in my face. Absolute bastard.

His dad is also still alive, which is a pretty calculated slap in the face if you ask me.

[Spikey M]

I think we've completely misjudged him.

[Lewis]

That actually looks like Spoonsky through one of them fat filters.

[igor_balis]

he's alive but has been confined to a wheelchair since his stroke 3 years ago, and has spent the whole time since writing his absolutely insane philosophy book/memoirs. i have to be really nice about it whenever i see him because i'm worried he'd top himself if he realised what he's dedicated three years of his life to possibly won't "totally shake up western civilisation" as he claimed it would.

i might put a couple of screenshots on here.

[Spikey M]

There's no might about it.

It's that kind of depressing hilarity that the board has been crying out for. My dead parents have been carrying us for too long.

[igor_balis]

Alright, so the first bit is pretty good, just some anecdotes about the old days at west brom:

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/53379743_10161412925810384_6872113472222527488_n.j pg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=98400b1c028c25112ac47f25187832e0&oe=5CE4BA5F

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/53513162_10161412924315384_4389322672316612608_n.j pg?_nc_cat=103&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=14cdd38ad43aa2869272636a117be557&oe=5CDE7C03

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/53098713_10161412929720384_3374225615971418112_n.j pg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=5e41e01e53bf642041297a8f6cc63578&oe=5D127FAD

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/52480844_10161412930845384_2928445930912874496_n.j pg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=091b00b132b45938ba977d5328430f19&oe=5CDD513F





This bit though, er, yeah:

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/53506227_10161412933700384_3040344371732938752_n.j pg?_nc_cat=101&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=95ae0f4e034ff20c3c345f78f84d43bd&oe=5D107FF3

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can see where you get it from.

[Lewis]

Enoch Powell was not the MP for Smethwick. I would wind the visits down if I were you.

[igor_balis]

I can see where you get it from.

100%

[Shindig]

15 minutes. That's all it took to find this stuff, bring it to our attention and then willingly post it. In the fucking food thread. :D

[Spikey M]

The only problem here is that this doesn't have it's own thread with the whole 'book' in it.

[igor_balis]

You can buy it. As my dad says, 'once it gets a cult following on the kindle the publishers will come to me'

[Ian]

I guy I used to work with has "books" on Amazon. They're theoretically about his depression and depression in general but in practice they're just a tedious stream of consciousness about his life. But, like, the yawnsome minutiae. "Our shift patterns at the time were 8-4 or 10-6 (or was it 11-7??)" Grim stuff.

Also, to deviate onto the tangent of food for a moment, just had leftover spring rolls. Breakfast of champions.

[Mazuuurk]

It reminds me of those old letters that Jack the Ripper wrote, somehow.

[SvN]

My grandad wrote a book about his "war days" when I was a kid. He was obsessed with it for years, and from what I remember, it was total shite. He'd bring the 200 page manuscript around and sit there expecting family members to read the entire thing there and then in front of him.

He didn't speak to me for about 6 months because he gave it me to read one day and I had football training, and left without finishing it. I was about 12.

[Ian]

Sounds like you were being pretty selfish, to be fair.

[Baz]

Are you now a "professional footballer"? No.
Could you have been "grandson of esteemed wartime author"? Yes, if you didn't have delusions of grandeur making you such a selfish child.

[Disco]

Shameful, that man fought a war for you.

[SvN]

Well he's dead now, so needless to say, I had the last laugh.

[Lewis]

My friend's mum said my book was 'boring', and now she's got cancer, so...

[Disco]

My friend's mum said my book was 'boring', and now she's got cancer, so...

It gave her cancer? Not quite the cover quote you want.

[Ian]

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/06/b8/e4/06b8e4cdd81852a2c23170db4575256a.jpg

[Baz]

This page has been a corker. :lol:

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Anyone got a sous vide machine?

I've only just found out you get smaller ones to sit in a pot as opposed to the large ones that have the built-in water bath. Not cheap but seem very convenient and you'd never overcook a piece of meat again-

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07CS2SHD4/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=B07CS2SHD4&linkCode=as2&tag=chef07-21&linkId=e8e60cd6bfc2742c75ec3e7b34ccdd27

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01MZ6Q45C/ref=sspa_dk_detail_0?psc=1&pd_rd_i=B01MZ6Q45C&pd_rd_w=9i2Yl&pf_rd_p=e2bfafb5-111e-4906-b089-5d691a51d45f&pd_rd_wg=hsWNA&pf_rd_r=V5CQXVE31BFFERBFWK9B&pd_rd_r=0e98d425-42a3-11e9-a1a0-85c3a5c63f09

[niko_cee]

Wouldn't you need a vacpac machine/device to sit alongside that?

Although I guess that would apply to a water bath one as well.

They've always seemed to be to be things that, whilst it would be nice to have, are a bit of a pointless/unnecessary faff. In a similar vein to a deep fat fryer.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I wouldn't say it was a faff, just fill a pot with water, heat it with the machine, chuck your meat in a bag and done. You can just use normal zip-lock bags too.

Deep fat fryer definitely a bit of a faff to keep around though I'd agree. Although I would love to make my own fish and chips.

[niko_cee]

What I mean is, by and large, successfully cooking a bit of meat by conventional means isn't that hard. Perhaps the result might not be quite as good (as with the fryer making fried things better) but it seems a big outlay for a marginal gain (I have no idea what difference one of these devices might make).

Unless you eat 3 steaks a day and are very particular about exactly how you like them.

[Giggles]

This was so much nicer than it looks :drool:

https://i.imgur.com/XciTya4.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not saying much given it looks like the aftermath of a children's home having burned to the ground.

[Spikey M]

Not the analogy I'd use for something that looks great, but we can't all be children people.

[Offshore Toon]

That does look great. Chips look perfect.

Why is it in a pizza box?

[Giggles]

Not sure. One place does it in a box like a snackbox but it's definitely nicer spread out like that in the pizza one.

[Adamski]

That’s the game :drool:

[Disco]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXp31PtdcEE

[Giggles]

Seen that floating about Facebook the last while. Is it fake? I find it hard to believe nobody figured that out until 2019.

[Boydy]

I saw that the other day. But then I saw them trying it on Sunday Brunch today and it didn't seem as easy as that video makes out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It would have to be incredibly ripe surely.

[Lewis]

And you need two sets of arms.

[Giggles]

Apparently pulling at the leaves is a good way to know ripeness in a shop.

Then again, they come tinned so there's very little need for any faff.

[Disco]

It works but the riper it is the better.

[Giggles]

Filthy hangover casserole time :drool:

https://i.imgur.com/U9U2pQs.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/JO1GUX6.jpg

[Raoul Duke]

Holy shit that looks immense :drool:

[Reg]

That looks good. Casseroles are pretty great. You get the enjoyable part of cooking (preparation IMO, so chopping and that) without having to faff about or stress over timings etc.

Is that a tomatoey sauce, Giggles?

[Giggles]

That looks good. Casseroles are pretty great. You get the enjoyable part of cooking (preparation IMO, so chopping and that) without having to faff about or stress over timings etc.

Is that a tomatoey sauce, Giggles?

No, just a couple of tablespoons of tomato puree when I was frying off the chicken and onions. The main sauce is water, chicken stock, and a thick base I always have at hand that's made with onions, garlic, peppers, courgettes, and carrots. Saves using anything else to thicken it.

[Boydy]

It looks good but I'd need something greasier if I was hungover.

[Giggles]

It looks good but I'd need something greasier if I was hungover.

I had the grease while I was still drunk last night.

[Samadini]

Looks class that, Giggs.

[Spikey M]

I trust you had 3 or 4 slices of bread and butter to mop up afterwards?

[Giggles]

I wish. Only have some porridge and yogurt loaf and wouldn't fancy it.

[Offshore Toon]

Aye that looks grand, Giggles, so it does.

[Spikey M]

I bought a jar of pickled chillies today and I am bang in trouble. I have no idea what type of chillies they are but I can't feel my fucking face. And yet, I can't stop eating them.

[Spikey M]

Oh my God.

Make it stop.

Make me stop.