Christmas 2015

[Lewis]

It's all well and good talking shit in the France thread, but what is TTH actually doing to stand up to these Muslims? I don't even like Christmas, but fuck it I've just gone and wasted two quid on mince pies to show them fucking bastards that I refuse to surrender (I'll go and pot the Indians' window later when it gets dark).

Merry Christmas, lads. Stick it to Islam here.

[Samadini]

Merry Christmas, Lew.

Might get myself the most expensive Nerf device going to combat the muslamic ray guns.

[Samadini]

http://i.imgur.com/rkeWe0u.jpg

£171 for fucks sake.


No wonder the world has gone to shit when you can buy lethal arms so cheaply.

[Disco]

I don't really like mince pies and I'm considering ordering a curry, sorry lads I don't think I'm going to be much help.

[Manc]

Secret Santa?

[wullie]

I've stocked up on cheese footballs and pig in blanket crisps, plus I bought a Darth Vader soap so I'm supporting Christmas food and rampant Western capitalism.

[Baz]

What's everyone getting their dad? I'm at a loss, after my mum's suggestion of pink pigs or old jamaican chocolate fell on deaf ears.

Can't buy him beer cos he moans about how much homebrew he has stocked up in his sheds. (although he hasn't offered me any!)

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Going to be my first Christmas without my Dad, can't say I'm looking forward to it :(

[Magic]

Ahh How. :console:

[Lewis]

Wasn't he a Greek Cypriot? He would want you to show the Muslims what for, 'How. Christmas the fuck out of them.

[Lee]

Buying the tree on Saturday morning. Last year we just picked the first decent-sized one we saw but she wants to "spend some time picking a nice one from the ground" this year. What a waste of my time; it will look exactly the same as the ones already chopped down near the entrance. I'm going to demand that she waits until the 1st to decorate it and stick it up but she'll ignore me and the illusion that I have any kind of say in what happens at home will be shattered once again.

[Boydy]

Putting your tree up before the 1st of December? :nono:

[Lee]

I'm with you. This weekend is the only chance I'll get to buy a tree beforehand though amd I don't want to wait another week to get a shit one. She'll be far too excited to wait three days.

[Toby]

We're with my family for Christmas day this year, which is a blessing because my girlfriend's mother is an obsessive feeder who can't leave you alone for five minutes without insisting you take some more food.

[Giggles]

Ours is sitting in its box ready to go for around the 11th or so. Got a good deal on it last weekend, just need to pick up stuff to go on it.

I don't see the point at all though. She's going home and I'm going home for it so doing anything to this place is a waste really.

[Raoul Duke]

Xmas doesn't even exist until 1st December.

The main thing is that I have 17 more days of work left this year, from tomorrow :drool:

[Lee]

We're eating at my parents' place this year. We normally do our own and I'm already regrettimg agreeing to go to theirs. They're great and all but there will be loads of people there, including my sister, which is bound to result in a big argument.

[Manc]

Christmas is a bit of a shitter for me. My mother works so it's just me and the sister all day.

[Lewis]

My friend is joining the Navy in February, so I asked my brother, who was in Latvia on a stag do (waaay), to bring me back some 'dickhead strength' vodka. My plan was to give it to my friend to take with him; but, in what I regard as political correctness gone mad, you're not allowed to take your own booze onto submarines. I only found that out yesterday (although I suppose it's obvious when you think about it), but in the meantime my brother, instead of bringing me something back, has instead ordered me some 'Balkan 176' through his work. I can't not take it, so what the fuck am I going to do with a litre of 88% vodka? I suppose I could do myself in with it if Christmas telly is shit.

[Toby]

That can't be distinguishable from pure ethanol. I guess you could clean some paintbrushes with it.

[Giggles]

Put cranberry in it.

[Lewis]

I'll make 'Neknominate' a thing again.

[Ian]

I'm working Christmas day this year which would have depressed me previously but now that I hate neither my job nor the people I work with it doesn't bother me much. Up at some ungodly hour Christmas morning to get a work-funded cab in, do a shift of sitting about doing fuck all (my plan is to consume as many mince pies as possible), go home to open my presents in the afternoon (!) for the first time ever and get stuck into the dinner.

[Spoonsky]

Me and some friends stole a Christmas tree from the supermarket last night. 'tis the season?

[Pepe]

Twats.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We always put our tree up a couple of days before.

There's always plenty of good trees at the market left.

[Ian]

And now Spoon is just an actual criminal rather than a bit of a weirdo.

Fucking hell.

[Spoonsky]

And now Spoon is just an actual criminal rather than a bit of a weirdo.

Fucking hell.

This is what happens when I don't have Haxball to occupy me.

[Pepe]

He is white though, so he is just a rebel as opposed to a criminal.

[Spoonsky]

Starting tomorrow I can be arrested as an adult, actually, so I had to enjoy my freedom while I still have it.

You should've seen it, we had to hold it out the window of our friend's car because it wouldn't fit in the trunk. Then he started going the wrong way out the parking lot with this big fucking tree hanging out the side. What scenes.


https://scontent.fsnc1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t34.0-12/12286080_1661537027464059_764545669_n.jpg?oh=626f3 a19de773c764805367c6c34e69f&oe=56584EA8

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Thug life.

[Magic]

Can't wait to watch Spoon on I.D in 40 years' time.

[Toby]

Well played, Aldi.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH3iDzV9Wr0

[Pavel]

On my 'own' this Xmas for the first time ever, the family are away to Dubai for a week before World War III breaks out.

I believe I'm gonna' be joining my mum's younger brother's family for dinner Christmas Day which will be nice - they're good craic'.

Otherwise it's honestly playing with my head as it will be a completely new experience for someone who puts a lot of positive stock in the family aspect of the Christmas experience. I'm sure it will be grand, but I can already feel the oddness of thought concerning it in the run up.

Autzy folk don' lika' da' changes mesa' thank.

[Byron]

That Aldi advert is class.

I've also insisted the tree doesn't go up before the 1st, but she rebelled by buying some of those window stickers. Might take them all down tomorrow while she's at work.

[John Arne]

My old company made that Aldi advert. Therefore, I'd like to take part credit for it.

[Andy]

Binning my missus off to Bradford for a few days over Christmas. So I'll be in the pub all day on the 24th, with my Mum and Dad on Christmas Day and then Boxing Day three games in a row on TV and then Southampton - Arsenal at St Mary's. Scenes.

27th I'll chill out and then the 28th off to West Ham for a cut price away day.

[Sam]

Christmas plan has been made. Booked the 24th off, will spend the 23rd and the morning of the 24th with the girlfriend before buggering her off and traveling back to Wolverhampton to commence a four-day bender.

Christmas day in the pub with my brother, family and mates is probably the highlight. Wolves on the late kick-off on Boxing Day and then mate birthday to finish it off. Heading back down south, having three days to recover before heading back up for New Years Eve.

Love the time of year.

[-james-]

I think I pretty much know what I'm getting everyone, apart from the girl, who I'm a bit lost for ideas on. The best thing I've come up with is a trip away somewhere, but that strikes me as a bit shit in terms of thoughtfulness.

[Toby]

Only gifts I've left to buy are for my born-this-year nephew and my doesn't-know-what-planet-she's-on grandmother. I'm tempted not to bother since neither will really remember it. My sister has far more clothes and toys than she would ever want from her first kid anyway, so anything extra will just be an annoyance. I don't know what else you can really buy for an infant.

[Samadini]

If the people I've worked for are anything to go by, you buy them an iPhone 6s.

[Sam]

I think I pretty much know what I'm getting everyone, apart from the girl, who I'm a bit lost for ideas on. The best thing I've come up with is a trip away somewhere, but that strikes me as a bit shit in terms of thoughtfulness.

Bag of pick and mix.

[Boydy]

People have done their Christmas shopping already? Fuck you.

[Toby]

I only had about five people to buy for, to be fair. I wanted to get most of it in this month as I'll need to spend on my car next.

[wullie]

I managed to get the service and MOT cleared in November along with at least 2/3 of the Christmas shopping. I've basically got a lot of money to spend on cheese and crisps this month, I'm more excited than I should be.

[Boydy]

I only had about five people to buy for, to be fair. I wanted to get most of it in this month as I'll need to spend on my car next.

I only buy for my parents and I still always end up leaving it too late to get stuff online and just panic buy a couple of days before hand. I never know what to get them.

[phonics]

A possible gift for you Werewolfers. I just heard an ad for this;

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/maxtemkin/secret-hitler

It's a Werewolf/Mafia Card Game where you have to take down Hitler made by the Cards Against Humanity guys. They normally do one run of these so I thought I'd post it here so you guys could buy a pack to play with friends if you wanted.

[Giggles]

http://isdublinbusy.com

This was a very handy idea.

[Lee]

We're off to get a tree this morning. She says I'm not allowed near decorating it. Good. Why the fuck would I want to waste my time doing that?

[Raoul Duke]

We still have our shit, battle-scarred fake tree. I'll get a real one next year when we're in a new flat.

[Benny]

Quite looking forward to Christmas this year, I've got a proper break for it for the first time (off 24th - 4th) and my younger brother is coming back from Canada and bringing his lady with him, so that'll add something new to proceedings as I get her hammered on Bailey's and whatever weird alcohol is floating about.

[Waffdon]

I'm off from the 25th to 5th without taking a holiday, which is pretty dece. So many night outs. Edinburgh all day for the football on the 30th and then the Derby at new year as well :drool:

[Giggles]

Same break as Benny which will be nice, especially as my old job is having everyone in over Christmas due to so many leaving.

It never starts properly until I'm out of Dublin though.

[Lee]

I don't like taking leave at Chistmas, it feels like a bit of a waste. I'm getting four straight days off followed by a three day week anyway so that will do. Christmas is quite nice in the hospital.

I'm on call Christmas Day. I offered to do it because absolutely fuck all will happen. Or at least if it does it will be serious enough that everybody would be called in anyway.

[Ian]

Looking for potential Christmas presents for my 7 year old niece. Had filtered it down on Amazon to things recommended for her age, not costing hundreds of pounds, good average reviews, etc. and it has come up with this:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Replica-World-War-Trench-Whistle/dp/B00IARWRZQ/ref=sr_1_18?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1448719608&sr=1-18

[Boydy]

Looking for potential Christmas presents for my 7 year old niece. Had filtered it down on Amazon to things recommended for her age, not costing hundreds of pounds, good average reviews, etc. and it has come up with this:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Replica-World-War-Trench-Whistle/dp/B00IARWRZQ/ref=sr_1_18?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1448719608&sr=1-18

:D

Get it.

[Danny]

Quite looking forward to Christmas this year, I've got a proper break for it for the first time (off 24th - 4th) and my younger brother is coming back from Canada and bringing his lady with him, so that'll add something new to proceedings as I get her hammered on Bailey's and whatever weird alcohol is floating about.

Unless they live under a rock in Canada I cant see Bailey's being that weird to them.

I am off from the 14th to the 29th as my mam is over for xmas. Back in for the final couple of days of the year when no fucker is about will be lovely.

Get an additional week of holiday next year too :drool:

[Ian]

:D

Get it.

I reckon I'd be the most popular man in the house on Christmas day.

[Boom-Boom]

What are your favourite Christmas films?

I'm looking forward to Christmas this year. It's not so much the day itself but the whole of December just has a nice feel to it.

I have taken the 21st, 22nd and 23rd off work so I will have a full 2 weeks free. Considering I have taken 3 days holiday in the past 6 months that's going to be bliss.

[Baz]

Muppets Christmas Carol.

[Samadini]

What the fuck are twiglets? Last night I smashed a whole thick pipe of them without even being sure if I really liked them.

[Foe]

Go and watch mr bean to learn like the rest of us.

Lazy.

[Giggles]

What are your favourite Christmas films?

I'm looking forward to Christmas this year. It's not so much the day itself but the whole of December just has a nice feel to it.

I have taken the 21st, 22nd and 23rd off work so I will have a full 2 weeks free. Considering I have taken 3 days holiday in the past 6 months that's going to be bliss.

Elf, the proper Willie Wonka, and Die Hard.

I've seen WW every year since I was 5.

[Dquincy]

What the fuck are twiglets? Last night I smashed a whole thick pipe of them without even being sure if I really liked them.

You're kidding me right?

If you want real Christmas enjoyment, you've got to go for these..... :drool:

http://www.expatessentials.com/user/products/large/jacobs-cheeselets-caddy.jpg

[Samadini]

They are next. £1.50 in the Co-op.

[Dquincy]

They are next. £1.50 in the Co-op.

You won't regret it. :thbup:

Let me know your thoughts.

[Giggles]

I need to get my Christmas junk bought.

[Samadini]

I've had Mini Cheddars before, I've had Twiglets before too, plenty of times. I still don't understand them, though.

Double pipes of Pringles for £1 in Morrisons at the moment. How long have they done double packs for?

[Mike]

Tree is going up later today I think :)

[Dquincy]

Real one i hope?

[Mike]

Nah, sorry.

[Lee]

Real trees are great. Ours is massive, much bigger tha last year's. It wasn't on purpose, I just thought it was a similar size. Turns out last year's was six foot and this one is eight. :D

[Byron]

Tree goes up tomorrow, we need to replace our old knackered decorations so I've told Miss Byron she can go nuts, which I'm already regretting.

As far as junk food, I might load up on Heroes, Celebrations and those massive tubes of Jaffa Cakes. Oh and Party Rings. PARTY RINGS ARE MANDATORY.

[Giggles]

I'm getting Pringles, Guylian, and a Lindt selection. Will also be making a pecan pie and a bannoffee.

[ScousePig]

Went to the German Market in Leeds last night. It was alright.

Saw Jonny Bairstow.

[Lewis]

Die Hard isn't a Christmas film. Baz is right.

[Giggles]

It's the greatest Christmas Film of all time, just ahead of Trading Places.

And I don't know what Baz said, but he's never right.

[Ian]

What the fuck are twiglets? Last night I smashed a whole thick pipe of them without even being sure if I really liked them.

Yep. I devour them by the fistful but couldn't honestly recommend them to anybody as tasting nice.

[Baz]

Die Hard isn't a Christmas film. Baz is right.Indeed. And neither is Gremlins.

Trees up and looks as crap as last year. Definitely getting a real one next year.

Where's good for cheap but sturdy wrapping paper?

[Byron]

Die Hard isn't a Christmas film. Baz is right.

Set on Christmas Eve? Very definition of a Christmas movie mate.

[Lewis]

It could have been set any time, so its premise isn't wholly-dependent on Christmas (like films about Father Christmas, Christmas miracles, and depression).

[mo]

Got our tree from Ikea for £25, as you got a £20 voucher to spend in store (in Jan) as well. Our first ever real tree for our first Christmas in our house. Looks great when I've got the fire going too :D .

[Boydy]

It could have been set any time, so its premise isn't wholly-dependent on Christmas (like films about Father Christmas, Christmas miracles, and depression).

John McClane is only in LA to meet up with his estranged wife and his kids because it's Christmas. No Christmas = no reason to be in LA = no Die Hard.

It being Christmas Eve is also part of the terrorists' plans so that there are less police around.

Deffo a Christmas film.

[John]

I've had Mini Cheddars before, I've had Twiglets before too, plenty of times. I still don't understand them, though.

Double pipes of Pringles for £1 in Morrisons at the moment. How long have they done double packs for?

That's a deal and a half. Tesco are doing the single tubes for a quid at the moment and I think I've bought about fifteen of them since Monday.

[Mike]

Heres my tree btw:
http://i.imgur.com/CgHrXaz.jpg

[Lewis]

John McClane is only in LA to meet up with his estranged wife and his kids because it's Christmas. No Christmas = no reason to be in LA = no Die Hard.

It being Christmas Eve is also part of the terrorists' plans so that there are less police around.

Deffo a Christmas film.

It could have been a retirement party, and the authorities got there pretty quickly to say they were all meant to be at home wanking. Films set at Christmas are not always Christmas films.

[Baz]

Apparently there's a new film out called Coopers Christmas?

A few years ago I watched a film called Coopers Christmas Camera with my dad and it was hilarious.

That shouldn't be allowed.

I think it later got renamed to just Coopers Camera, but it's still out of order.

I highly recommend everyone seeks out a copy of it though, so so good.

[John]

That Bill Murray Christmas thing on Netflix looks interesting. I'm not sure how Bill Murray, George Clooney, Amy Poehler, and Miley Cyrus fit together in any sensible way, but it should be good fun anyway.

[Giggles]

Bill Murray alone means I'm going to watch.

[Boydy]

It could have been a retirement party, and the authorities got there pretty quickly to say they were all meant to be at home wanking. Films set at Christmas are not always Christmas films.

A retirement party wouldn't have brought John McClane all the way out there. And the authorities only get properly involved once McClane throws a body down onto a police car.

[mo]

That Bill Murray Christmas thing on Netflix looks interesting. I'm not sure how Bill Murray, George Clooney, Amy Poehler, and Miley Cyrus fit together in any sensible way, but it should be good fun anyway.

Started watching this last night, made it maybe 25 minutes in before giving up (wife wasn't feeling it). It is very slow going to begin with, so hope it picks up after that.

[Boydy]

Had my first mince pie on Saturday. It was delicious. And now I've instructed my folks to bring me some back from the shop, with cream.

[Giggles]

Had my first mince pie on Saturday. It was delicious. And now I've instructed my folks to bring me some back from the shop, with cream.

Costa have some epic, albeit overpriced, mince tarts on the go at the moment now too. One yesterday was my first mince pie of any form this year too, but I really must get on making some.

[Giggles]

Work party is arranged for the 19th, but I've also got an invite to my old job's one in Belfast this Saturday. I haven't really got time but it's been so long I'm tempted.

[Lewis]

My mother made some mince pies last year with salted caramel in. I'm not normally a fan of the worldwide, UN-backed crusade to put salted caramel into absolutely fucking everything, but these was great. Unfortunately that dickhead regarded them as 'sickly' and refused to make any more.

[Giggles]

I like to make the ones that you roll up and slice. They're better after a few days have passed than 'proper' ones.

[Benny]

Work party is arranged for the 19th, but I've also got an invite to my old job's one in Belfast this Saturday. I haven't really got time but it's been so long I'm tempted.

Is it common for a work party to be on a Saturday? I would have thought most people wouldn't be up for anything work related on the weekend.

I had my first mince pie today, homemade by one of the girls in the office. They're so fucking tasty, I take it they're not particularly healthy though?

[Giggles]

Is it common for a work party to be on a Saturday? I would have thought most people wouldn't be up for anything work related on the weekend.

I had my first mince pie today, homemade by one of the girls in the office. They're so fucking tasty, I take it they're not particularly healthy though?

My current job does all the nights out on the weekend. The boss puts us up in a hotel and pays for the lot. The other place have to arrange their own between themselves as the company won't do one (though they'll still hand out written warnings if word gets back that anyone misbehaved :D), so it has to be on the weekend as there would be war if people landed in worse for wear after it. That one doesn't be a meal or anything, just a session.

As for the mince pies, no they definitely are not healthy. You can take that for anything that involves pastry. Actually, you can take that for anything that tastes nice.

[Reg]

My mother made some mince pies last year with salted caramel in. I'm not normally a fan of the worldwide, UN-backed crusade to put salted caramel into absolutely fucking everything, but these was great. Unfortunately that dickhead regarded them as 'sickly' and refused to make any more.
You calling your own mother 'that dickhead' is funny.

I can almost imagine you doing it in real life.

[Boydy]

People in Northern Ireland don't go out except for Saturdays. Where I work does Christmas parties and they're only on Saturday nights. Our bar is normally pretty dead on a Friday night.

[Waffdon]

Why would you have a night out during the week?

[Giggles]

People in Northern Ireland don't go out except for Saturdays. Where I work does Christmas parties and they're only on Saturday nights. Our bar is normally pretty dead on a Friday night.

Same here too. Unless you're in the city, places are really quiet on Fridays. You get the after work rush from 6 but it usually dies again by 9.

I think I will do that other party. The Mrs said she has hers Saturday too so I'd be free to head on and I haven't had a night in Belshaft in a fair while. Talking about starting in the Hudson too :drool:

[Raoul Duke]

I went to a mate's place on Sunday and it was pretty fucking festive. We watched Home Alone (:cool:) and ate a shitload of random food (e.g. nuts, cheese, sausages etc.).

They were raving about mince pies + Stilton, which sounds hideous to me but they said it was nice. Bit 'ham & pineapple' for my liking.

[Ian]

The actual place was a bit shit but our work Christmas night out was pretty decent. Our ops manager was in charge of the freebie booze so our lot never had to pay for a drink all night.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mince pies :sick:

[Giggles]

Because of Lewis' subliminal messaging I got the salted caramel brownie in Costa this morning instead of the usual. Fucking hell they're like crack :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Salted caramel really is fucking amazing.

[niko_cee]

I was given some of those salted caramel chocolate balls made by Charbonnel & Walker last Christmas. They were amazing, although they should be for £10 a (small) bag or whatever they cost.

[Samadini]

Their hot chocolate is class. Arsed with the effort of actually making the drink properly though, just eating out of the tin with a spoon is quality.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Their hot chocolate is class. Arsed with the effort of actually making the drink properly though, just eating out of the tin with a spoon is quality.
It's great as a drink too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I went into Nero the other day and saw one of their Christmas special drinks was a 'winter berry latte'. Intrigued by how such a thing could possibly exist, I bought one. It was rank. Who would put blackcurrant in coffee?

A much safer bet was Costa's 'sticky toffee latte', which tasted like nectar.

[Kikó]

Why don't you just drink proper coffee you animal?

Oh Walf, I'll be at Dundee United on boxing day if you're about.

[Mike]

Went to see a Panto with work yesterday. It was utterly awful from start to finish. :|

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Went to see a Panto with work yesterday. It was utterly awful from start to finish. :|

You've just described every single panto.

[CJay]

I'm going to a panto on Friday night. I've never been before, but my expectations are rock bottom. The fiancée's family love these sort of things so I must really seem like a big moaner whenever we go to something like this.

[niko_cee]

I went to an amateur panto last year.

It was unimaginably bad.

[Reg]

Panto is indeed terrible. I'd rather watch one of those awful BBC comedies on at some time of the week when about 4 people are watching.

[Baz]

As if nobody has used the word pantomime, despite there being four posts about them.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I really love adverts for pantos though.

It's brilliant when they need an asterisk to tell you why the person is famous.

This is especially good as there's no one of note in it at all:

http://www.imaginetheatre.co.uk/uploaded/image/Jack-and-the-Beanstalk-Crewe/Crewe-Flyer_new1.jpg

:D

[niko_cee]

Irene from Home and Away is a big star, mate.

[Spoonsky]

"Panto." The British aren't half perverse sometimes.

[ScousePig]

Who are you lot going to the panto with? I went with my class last year and it was really good, but you know I was with 30 kids and got the afternoon off. Some X Factor gimp was in it.

We've not booked it this year.

[wullie]

As we're approaching middle age and everyone's paired off now, next Saturday all the girls are going to get inappropriately drunk at a pantomime while the boys go to Cov vs Oldham and then the casino underneath after. So while one set is watching a farcical display of buffoonery, etc

[Mike]

Who are you lot going to the panto with? I went with my class last year and it was really good, but you know I was with 30 kids and got the afternoon off. Some X Factor gimp was in it.

We've not booked it this year.

We took all the Junior children. The girl I support absolutely loved it from start to finish, once it ended she turned to me and simply said "again?" :D

We saw this
https://d235gwso45fsgz.cloudfront.net/production_1/photos/125908145/Cinderella_A5_Front_large.jpg

[Baz]

No Richard DeVere this year? :happycry:

[ScousePig]

We took all the Junior children. The girl I support absolutely loved it from start to finish, once it ended she turned to me and simply said "again?" :D

Nice. My Year 4s loved it last year; they got really excited and screamed their heads off. We saw Snow White.

[ItalAussie]

You've just described every single panto.

I always assumed that pantomimes were something that only British people "got". Then I found out that you hate them as much as the rest of us. How is this even a thing?

[John]

It's just campy nonsense for children.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I used to properly hate them. Remember being near the front and Dick Whittington or some other cross dressing pervert trying to get me to come up on stage when I was about 7, I just blanked him/her and carried on wishing that it would finish and I could go home and watch The Jungle Book for the third time that day.

[Shindig]

I really love adverts for pantos though.

It's brilliant when they need an asterisk to tell you why the person is famous.

This is especially good as there's no one of note in it at all:

http://www.imaginetheatre.co.uk/uploaded/image/Jack-and-the-Beanstalk-Crewe/Crewe-Flyer_new1.jpg

:D

I read Kerry Newell as Harry Kewell. Hopes dashed.

[Baz]

Just finished the last of my Christmas shopping. Sat in a puddle of overdraft, but at least it's done.

Really annoyed these (http://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-pom-pom-knit-slippers-pink-multi/p2099614) are out of stock in a 6 though, cos now my dad's had well more spent on him than my mum.

[Lewis]

Some kid carol singers knocked on the door, and when I opened it the dog belted out and scattered them like a pork bowling ball. :cool:

[Giggles]

Some kid carol singers knocked on the door, and when I opened it the dog belted out and scattered them like a pork bowling ball. :cool:

I was so impressed with the Mrs last night when they got half a line blurted out and she slammed the door in their faces.

[Lee]

I'm feeling properly in the Christmas spirit this year. I can't wait for it. Probably because it means time off.

[Giggles]

I'm feeling properly in the Christmas spirit this year. I can't wait for it. Probably because it means time off.

I'm looking forward to getting off and getting home as it still doesn't feel like it while I'm in Dublin. I'll be heading to the folks on the 24th as soon as I get out of work for a couple of days before travelling to herself.

[Shindig]

Hoping this next week flies by so I can enjoy the two short ones.

[Boydy]

I still haven't done any shopping. Not sure what to get people. I'll be buying stuff for my parents, my 18 year old cousin, my three year old cousin and probably something for one of my other cousin's little 5-month old. Dunno what to get but might just get any old shit off the internet soon before it's too late for delivery so I don't have to face actual shops.

[Giggles]

I've everything got and wrapped without going near a single shop :cool: Even got the edible stuff from Tesco via click and collect.

Not a cunt to be dealt with.

[Baz]

You don't mean click and collect.

[Giggles]

You don't mean click and collect.

I what?

[Boydy]

Had found a blackboard/whiteboard easel for £15 on the Early Learning Centre's website that I thought would be good for my three year old cousin but it's sold out. Balls. They're way more expensive elsewhere.

[Toby]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Black-White-Wooden-Drawing-Educational/dp/B00VTRYEZU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1450275079&sr=8-3&keywords=children%27s+blackboard+whiteboard+easel

[Boydy]

I saw that one but it looks like it'd be really poorly built.

[Boydy]

Also, what the fuck do you buy for a six month old? Or five months, maybe. I'm not even sure. I was looking at this - http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3915556.htm#pdpFullProductInformation

And my eighteen year old cousin has no idea what he wants. He won't read books, DVDs are pointless because he has the internet and he says there are no games he wants to play at the minute.

[Toby]

I did think the same but if you're talking about the ELC one I've seen it doesn't look much better.

[CJay]

What does a six month old want? They don't even know it's Christmas.

[Mazuuurk]

Nothing. But the parents will probably appreciate it.

[Boydy]

I did think the same but if you're talking about the ELC one I've seen it doesn't look much better.

This one - http://www.elc.co.uk//Double-Sided-Wooden-Easel/139303,default,pd.html

It looks a bit better.

This would be perfect as she loves that Peppa Pig shit but it's sold out too - http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/4185622.htm

[Boydy]

What does a six month old want? They don't even know it's Christmas.
No shit.


Nothing. But the parents will probably appreciate it.

Exactly. It's to show them you care.

[Toby]

Also, what the fuck do you buy for a six month old?

I'm just mocking up a fake bank deposit slip for my nephew and saying I've put £20 towards a present he'll get when he's old enough to appreciate it.

It was easy for the first one but my sister has so many toys and clothes around the house now I'm sure anything new will get used about once.


This one - http://www.elc.co.uk//Double-Sided-Wooden-Easel/139303,default,pd.html

It looks a bit better.

This would be perfect as she loves that Peppa Pig shit but it's sold out too - http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/4185622.htm

Fair enough, I'd seen a rounded plastic monstrosity.

That almost looks like a fake deal to entice you to look at other stuff on their website.

[Mazuuurk]

Do them a favour and don't get them anything that the kids can use to make a mess with (pens, crayons, paint, all that shit).

Get them some cute as fuck clothes (if s/he is 6 months, get for like 9-month old unless they are tiny losers).
Not bodies though, you always have too many of those.

[niko_cee]

Also, what the fuck do you buy for a six month old? Or five months, maybe. I'm not even sure.

Sophie La Giraffe.

Or something loud to piss its parents off. Get play doh and they'll hate you (secretly) forever.

[Boydy]

I'm not going to get a 5/6 month old paint, crayons or pens. They've got an absolute shit-ton of clothes already.

[Boydy]

Sophie La Giraffe.

Or something loud to piss its parents off.

:D

I was considering getting the three year old a drum kit or something musical.

[Mazuuurk]

Then get bigger clothes. Say shit like "they won't need it now but I figured when he's older..."
Clothes for a 6-month old last like 15 minutes so they will come to that point around 1-year old when people have stopped bothering to give them shit all the time and be like "FUCK, we don't have any fucking clothes. LUCKY Boydy got us this sweet Batman shirt"

[Toby]

People never stop giving them clothes though.

[Mazuuurk]

They do. The first year you don't have to buy anything if you don't want to (women want to, so they do anyway). However after around 1 year, people are used to you being parents and seem to get you way less things.

If you're lucky - like we are - you have some close friends with kids about 3 months older than yours - which means they dump a shitload of clothes on you (win-win situation right there).

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How much you willing to spend on the six month kid?

If it's £20, get one of these:

https://www.lostmy.name/en-GB/home

Parents will fucking love it, I got one to give to a 2 year old niece for Christmas.

[Toby]

My view of it is maybe warped by having a massive family. Presents don't seem to be any less plentiful for birthdays and Christmases, and clothes remain the go-to gift for a lot of people.

[Boydy]

How much you willing to spend on the six month kid?

If it's £20, get one of these:

https://www.lostmy.name/en-GB/home

Parents will fucking love it, I got one to give to a 2 year old niece for Christmas.
Would probably be better for the three year old than the six month old.


My view of it is maybe warped by having a massive family. Presents don't seem to be any less plentiful for birthdays and Christmases, and clothes remain the go-to gift for a lot of people.

I'm with you here.

[Toby]

That book looks great but good luck getting a two year old to sit down and listen to it.

[Josh]

Sophie La Giraffe.

Or something loud to piss its parents off. Get play doh and they'll hate you (secretly) forever.

Sophie La Giraffe is what I was going to say. Great shout for that age.

[Lewis]

I'm just mocking up a fake bank deposit slip for my nephew and saying I've put £20 towards a present he'll get when he's old enough to appreciate it.

The beauty of that is that you can just keep telling him he isn't old enough.

[Boydy]

That giraffe thing looks a bit crap. I like the Pupsqueak thing I found better.

[Toby]

Is it just a plastic giraffe with a stupid name or is there actually something special about it?

[Boydy]

It just seems to be a plastic giraffe. It squeaks. Might as well get her a dog toy.

It looks like one of those old timey kids' toys that upper middle class wankers buy their children which is probably why Niko's got one for his kid(s). No offence.

[niko_cee]

It's a teething thing. There are various types. One of them squeaks, there's the one with the handle type things which feels more durable. That Lamaze thing looks alright as well - although kids never get how pull cord things work, so you'll just be sat there doing it for them forever.

[niko_cee]

If you are still considering annoying, go for v-tech. Everything they make is annoying as hell.

This little bastard for example:

http://www.tesco.com/direct/vtech-toot-toot-trumpet/210-1488.prd

[Mazuuurk]

The thing about Sophie I think is that it's got some eco shit in it, so it's a little better to chew on than, say, arsenic. It's also one of those things that all kids seem to love above other, similar things, for no apparent reason. Must be the consistency or something.

[Boydy]

This is cute - http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_171040420099_-1

[Josh]

its just a teether but for some reason kids love it more than any other teether. Every parent I know swears by them.

[Mazuuurk]

If you are still considering annoying, go for v-tech. Everything they make is annoying as hell.

This little bastard for example:

http://www.tesco.com/direct/vtech-toot-toot-trumpet/210-1488.prd

Can confirm :moop:

[mugbull]

Get a baby infant a nice blanket. Or like a face blankie. It will be with them for years and will be a nice memory of you. I still have one i was given at age 1, though i have no clue who gave it to me. But its been there through thick and thin, man.

[Boydy]

Ordered the Peppa Pig blackboard/whiteboard (found it on Amazon for a bit more than I wanted to spend but meh, at least it's sorted) and the Pupsqueak thing.

Need to get my 18 year old cousin something and my mum who isn't interested in anything. My old man wants a new phone.

[Mazuuurk]

It will be with them for years and will be a nice memory of you. I still have one i was given at age 1, though i have no clue who gave it to me.

This could also describe an STD.

[niko_cee]

I always view comfort blankets/skanky soft toys as a sign of mental weakness on the part of the child (parent).

[Jimmy Floyd]

I got given a toy Milka truck for my 0th birthday, or being born, or whatever it is. Still have it somewhere. Needless to say nobody cares what the thing is or how useful it might be. It certainly helped fuel my future loves for chocolate, and for haulage.

[Raoul Duke]

These are awesome presents: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0689837593?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00 (all that guy's books I've seen are incredible).


If you are still considering annoying, go for v-tech. Everything they make is annoying as hell.

This little bastard for example:

http://www.tesco.com/direct/vtech-toot-toot-trumpet/210-1488.prd

Also if you want pictures of your kid uploaded to the internet for Jimmy Saville to crack one off to: http://arstechnica.co.uk/security/2015/12/man-arrested-in-toymaker-hack-says-he-wanted-to-expose-inadequate-security/

[Lewis]

I nearly posted about some Sam Ita pop-up books my friend bought his shit nephews. They were seriously good and had endorsements by that geezer, but Amazon doesn't seem to have any cheap ones (he got them from some moody shop in town).

[Raoul Duke]

They're a bit steep (it's basically that guy and your one who own the whole pop-up world), but they are mighty impressive.

[igor_balis]

Just been invited to 'Christmas Drinks', a private event on facebook, by someone I was at school with. I'm pretty pally with him and some of the other people going, but they're basically all one big group of friends. I can't figure out if it is a sincere invitation or a mistake and he felt too embarrassed to cancel the invitation. Tempted to get hammered and go anyway.

[mugbull]

This could also describe an STD.

Age 1? Holy shit man, that's a rare post

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

These are awesome presents: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0689837593?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00 (all that guy's books I've seen are incredible).



Also if you want pictures of your kid uploaded to the internet for Jimmy Saville to crack one off to: http://arstechnica.co.uk/security/2015/12/man-arrested-in-toymaker-hack-says-he-wanted-to-expose-inadequate-security/
I've just ordered The Little Mermaid and Winter in White, they look brilliant.

I might even get the dinosaurs one just for me as it looks damn good.

[Boydy]

Has anyone had eggnog? I was never actually sure what was in it until I actually bothered to look it up the other day. It sounds pretty nice. I'm tempted to try making some.

Just saw these (http://www.buzzfeed.com/emmacooke24/boozy-hot-chocolates-you-need-to-drink#.aorWyZrLz) as well. Guinness hot chocolate sounds like a waste of perfectly good Guinness. :nono:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It (eggnog) sounds absolutely vile.

[Boydy]

You don't like alcohol though.

[John]

My aunt made it one year but she forgot about it until a bit too late in the festivities for it to be memorable. It was fucking hellish on its way up the next morning though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You don't like alcohol though.

They have non-alcoholic versions though.

[John]

That's like answering a question about lager with 'Beck's Blue'. It's just not the point.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Even if I was a drinker though I don't think it would appeal to me.

A thin custard laced with booze?

I'd rather have a bowl of actual custard and wash it down with something on the side.

[igor_balis]

eggnog is class

[John]

http://www.jamieoliver.com/news-and-features/features/best-eggnog-recipe/

Make that one Boydy. That intro is about as twee as it's possible to be, which makes a nice change from the twee horseshit appearing in the comments of these sites.


The other day I was walking with my floppy-eared dog Jack, whom we affectionately call The Labradork, with my hands hid in my pocket as I talked to my neighbour, who was hanging strings of Christmas lights.

Fuck off, love.

[Boydy]

I saw that the other day when I was looking it up. 'The Labradork' my arse.

[Raoul Duke]

Eggnog's pretty nice. You wouldn't want loads of it, but it's a decent Xmas tipple.

[Waffdon]

12 degrees outside :D

[Palmer]

Made that Jamie Oliver eggnog linked by John a few weeks back. The egg whites folded in at the end are borderline pointless, but that aside it makes a lovely tipple. Wouldn't want more than a couple, but then I don't think it's designed to accompany some 'lad bantz' style session anyway.

[Mazuuurk]

Egg nogg sounds fucking awful. I know I liked it as a small kid though, havent had it since.

Sounds like something you ought to cook into an omelette, rather than drink.

[Palmer]

The key is getting the balance of rum right. Too little and you just end up drinking spiced milk, too much and it overwhelms everything else and you might as well just be doing rum shots.

[Toby]

The egg whites folded in at the end are borderline pointless

I was thinking/hoping that might be the case, as if I go to the bother of separating eggs for a drink I'm going to want to be holding a whisky sour at the end of it.

[Baz]

I'm honestly quite astounded that I've never had eggnog.

[Boydy]

Amazon is such a terrible website to just browse.

[Giggles]

I just totted up that I paid them £55 on delivery alone this year. Still worth it though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Amazon is such a terrible website to just browse.

It is indeed.

Oh and Giggles, just buy Prime.

[Giggles]

It is indeed.

Oh and Giggles, just buy Prime.

I don't even know if we can.

[Baz]

I've just counted her presents now they're all wrapped. Ten in total. :face:

Some nail varnish is still on it's way too.

EDIT: and "one" of the ten is five different bottles of fruit beer.

[Shindig]

Heh. Martin Skrelli's been busted for hedge-fund fiddling. Time to grab that Wu Tang album.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I read that as Martin Skrtel and spent 5 minutes trying to find a source :\

[Reg]

Amazon is such a terrible website to just browse.
What's wrong with it once you've chosen the department?

[Boydy]

What's wrong with it once you've chosen the department?

Trying to order things is terrible. Trying to narrow down what's being displayed is awful. And it's full of crap from 'sellers' rather than Amazon itself.

There are probably ways to fix those (there is for the last one at least) but they aren't immediately obvious and it's just generally a shit site for browsing compared to most other online shopping sites. It's great when you know exactly what you want though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I hate when you try to narrow down by price range.

Well this product is only £4.99, so within your range
The delivery charge is £170...

[Baz]

Remember when it just sold books.

It is going the way of Play.com, true, but I still use Amazon all the freaking time. Especially with Flubit now.

[Boydy]

How does Flubit work?

[Giggles]

Just checked out flubit and got the usual.


You're from our favourite country
Ireland
We are currently only operating within the UK

Flubit are currently operating within the UK and are only able to deliver to UK addresses. You can still browse our site, but any purchase needs to have a UK delivery address.

[Dquincy]

I hate when you try to narrow down by price range.

Well this product is only £4.99, so within your range
The delivery charge is £170...

Or it's sort by price it's 0.25p and nothing remotely like what you searched for. :moop:

[Baz]

How does Flubit work?find the thing you wanna buy on amazon, Argos, play, John Lewis or sainsburys (I think), add the link to it as a "demand," wait a few hours and Flubit will give you a cheaper price.

It tends not to work on alcohol and some other stuff, but it's saved me about a tenner over about four purchases.

I don't see any reason not to use it, really.

[Boydy]

Where do the products actually come from?

[ItalAussie]

Got a bunch of LEGO for my young cousins. As well as a book with specialized pieces to teach them how to build sciency machine stuff using LEGO bits.

LEGO is just the best.

[Boydy]

It's good but you don't need to shout.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The pictures don't do those pop up books justice, they're fucking amazing.

I'll be getting the dinosaurs one just for myself.

[Giggles]

It's good but you don't need to shout.

No doubt it's all leading up to the lesson of the day for the brainless drones.

[John]

Lol at the intellectual victim complex getting an airing for that.

[Giggles]

Lol at the intellectual victim complex getting an airing for that.

I think he's sucking his own cock at the minute so you'll have to wait your turn.

[John]

:D

So bitter.

[wullie]

I don't understand what's just happened in this thread, but it doesn't seem very jolly and yuletidy.

[Giggles]

Jolly has never been in the make up of this place.

[Spammer]

Giggles' bitterness has ruined Christmas.

[Giggles]

Giggles' bitterness has ruined Christmas.

In fairness we're all really a shower of bitter whures. There's more good will in a Chinese Reebok factory than there is here.

[simon]

How dare you, we're all lovely.

[Lewis]

If I'm getting somebody a Spotify card (what a shit present), which version do I want if they only use it through their computer? There seems to be a set-up letting you play it through your phone, but who does that other than dickheads on a bus?

[Giggles]

If I'm getting somebody a Spotify card (what a shit present), which version do I want if they only use it through their computer? There seems to be a set-up letting you play it through your phone, but who does that other than dickheads on a bus?

It's a while since I used it, but apart from the odd ad you really don't need a subscription for it on a computer.

[Toby]

They have these things called headphones that are pretty handy. Premium lets you make stuff available online so you can have a library of music to listen to whenever on your phone.

I didn't actually think there was a choice any more, the website makes it look like they've done away with Unlimited.

[Reg]

They might use earphones while not on a bus though... They don't do 'unlimited' anymore do they? Premium was for all devices and unlimited was just computer.

[Lewis]

I thought there was only 'Premium', but I saw a card today that listed two versions and shattered my world.

[Toby]

It must have been an old card.

[Lewis]

That's good to know. I was planning on getting the fifty quid voucher (baller) because it needs to last until May, so that would do right? No need to go into MELTDOWN and a state of complete panic.

[Toby]

Yeah £50 would be five months of Premium.

Or ten if he can get it with student discount.

[mugbull]

someone should make a Giggles Christmas toy. Stylistically, it would be a bald fuckface stapled to a doll's body that vomits when squeezed and just generally lowers the mood of the whole family by uttering constant laments on the human condition. The world's most character building toy.

"Son, I got you a Giggles doll this Christmas season"
"Great fun, Dad! I can't wait for all the important life lessons I will learn with this zany character at my side!"

[Giggles]

someone should make a Giggles Christmas toy. Stylistically, it would be a bald fuckface stapled to a doll's body that vomits when squeezed and just generally lowers the mood of the whole family by uttering constant laments on the human condition. The world's most character building toy.

"Son, I got you a Giggles doll this Christmas season"
"Great fun, Dad! I can't wait for all the important life lessons I will learn with this zany character at my side!"

I've never taught a valuable lesson in all my life. That said, I want a cut.

[mugbull]

You wouldn't actively be teaching people lessons, but they'd hopefully learn something important about mental health

[Giggles]

Well every little helps at least.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The boys in the NYPD choir were singing Galway Bay, and the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day.

[Boydy]

My dickhead 18 year old cousin keeps saying he just wants money. Fuck off mate, I'm not just handing you some money.

Books you won't read it is.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Give him a book on how to make money.

10x the seethe for him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My dickhead 18 year old cousin keeps saying he just wants money. Fuck off mate, I'm not just handing you some money.

Books you won't read it is.

Get him a voucher for something he doesn't want.

[Boydy]

I'd love to have a family who would all appreciate books as Christmas presents. My life would be so much nicer if that was the case. I hope it is the case one day.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Get the new generation into books sharpish and things will fall into place for the future.

[Spammer]

I've won the Xmas jumper competition at work. Best day of my life. Pics to follow later.

[Boydy]

I meant when (if) I ever have my own immediate family. My own kids will have books rammed down their throats. And very little access to TV. Fuck the extended family. They're a lost cause.

[Spammer]

I've won the Xmas jumper competition at work. Best day of my life. Pics to follow later.

Behold:

http://s7.postimg.org/836uk8a8r/12359870_10153903395446414_5768450254181718918_n.j pg

My mum knitted it for me a few years ago.

[mugbull]

Nah, that chick at work is definitely not interested.