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Lee
18-09-2015, 08:52 PM
Mine's better than ever, lads.

And I definitely don't spend most of my working life eye fucking other women.

How about you?

Boydy
18-09-2015, 08:53 PM
So you haven't actually fucked fit accountant yet?

The Merse
18-09-2015, 08:54 PM
Yes.

This has been the thread of the year so far, easily.

Lee
18-09-2015, 08:55 PM
I have not, although rumours abound. I might as well fuck her given how some twats at work have been talking over the past few days, but I won't.

Pepe
18-09-2015, 08:56 PM
Might as well.

Magic
18-09-2015, 08:56 PM
Why don't you fuck someone else, to really stick it to them?

Boydy
18-09-2015, 08:57 PM
You should fuck a patient.

Magic
18-09-2015, 08:57 PM
I actually booked a long weekend to Leeds v Brentford on our 5 year anniversary and didn't realise until the Monday of said week when she asked what we were doing for it. So LOL at that.

Magic
18-09-2015, 08:58 PM
You should fuck a patient.

Terminal, preferably. Less people that ultimately know the better.

The Merse
18-09-2015, 08:58 PM
Considering we've had about 20 folk turn up, it's reassuring that it includes such Relationship big hitters as Lee, Hammer, Magic and Mahow.

Luca
18-09-2015, 08:59 PM
Alright, LADS.

Foe
18-09-2015, 08:59 PM
There goes my most successful thread. :(

I've had shocker recently. Went on a couple of dates with a girl only for her to pan it all off claiming she had no time to date. That same day she pops up as a new user on Pof.

Fan fucking tactic.

Lee
18-09-2015, 09:00 PM
You should fuck a patient.

Have you seen the average Nuneaton resident?

7om
18-09-2015, 09:02 PM
Told the wife about your escapade out in only your boxers yesterday. Our shared enjoyment of the story has made our marriage as happy as ever, so thanks.

Boydy
18-09-2015, 09:06 PM
Have you seen the average Nuneaton resident?

I thought you were a public servant.

Magic
18-09-2015, 09:07 PM
I thought you were a public servant.

http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/05/GIF-Shovel-headshot.gif?gs=a

Lee
18-09-2015, 09:07 PM
I thought you were a public servant.

I'm not risking AIDS for it though.

Lee
18-09-2015, 09:08 PM
Told the wife about your escapade out in only your boxers yesterday. Our shared enjoyment of the story has made our marriage as happy as ever, so thanks.

It's a good story. I still think it was funny. So did Lauren's mum when she told her so I'm chalking it up as a win.

Boydy
18-09-2015, 09:09 PM
I'm not risking AIDS for it though.
Have a shower afterwards then.

Magic
18-09-2015, 09:18 PM
PMSL so the wife's just come in as my step-mum was supposed to be watching her do my little sister's eyelashes so she could copy and do Mrs J's. Anyway she was pissed so wasn't properly paying attention and has really badly glued these lashes on to the wife's pus and it looks awful but it's glue and she's too nice to say no. BAHAHAHA. And we're going out tomorrow for her birthday.

randomlegend
18-09-2015, 10:08 PM
and has really badly glued these lashes on to the wife's pus

She what now?

Magic
22-09-2015, 11:36 AM
Fucking HELL lads.

Went round to the wife's grans (I don't have tea there because it's so bad I'd rather eat the venerial disease off a deceased homeless man's cock before I tucked in to the half-fat sausages and triple overcooked veg that old age whore plates up) to pick little M up.

It was the wife's birthday and thankfully we didn't see her disgusting family all weekend (:drool:) so they bought her a small cake last night and had candles. They were moaning they were waiting on me, well it takes me 30 mins to get there and I don't finish work at half 5 so you can fuck off. I didn't want the cake because I'm trying to diet until my piroformis syndrome subsides and I can lift again then they moaned again. What the fuck? Arseholes. I'd had it by this point, so bathed little M got her dried and jammies on then went to go home.

Then the cunt Wife pops up with 'you'd be as well cleaning her teeth here' and yep, that was my fuse lit. She knows I hate cleaning her teeth there because the brush is so overused it looks like pubes, she isn't a fucking baby and baby toothpaste isn't strong enough (I have a thing about teeth having had 6 removed over my life).

"I'll do it when I get in"
"She'll fall asleep in the car though"
"No she won't, honest it'll be fine I've got it just relax"
*insert CUNT-IN-LAW HOW FUCKING PREDICTABLE, HOW DARE SOMETHING HAPPEN WITHOUT THIS SPAWN FROM HELL PIPING UP WITH HER HENRY LIKE OPINION*
"Just do it here there's no point in waking her up"
"...she won't fall asleep it's fine"
*background noise from the cuntwife, probably in agreement with her slut mother*
"No I'll just do it when I get home"
"You're so stubborn, just frigging do it here"
"...*lost for words*..."
"...*ignores what has just happened*..."
"Right are we ready to go? Bye everyone"

Raging. What a pig ignorant fucking wench.

Anyway when the cuntwife came home after doing a wedding trial I simply said:

"And that tonight...that is exactly the reason I will never, EVER go on holiday with your fucking family"

:drool:

Benny
22-09-2015, 11:39 AM
Why don't you get a new brush for her?

Magic
22-09-2015, 11:40 AM
Way to bypass the the entire story, poindexter.

Magic
22-09-2015, 11:41 AM
Anyway we used to carry one about with us but she doesn't really need a changing bag anymore and it's a remnant from the past. I ALWAYS take her home and do it if we're at her great-grans and anywhere else for that matter really.

Mazuuurk
22-09-2015, 12:04 PM
Magic I feel a little sorry for you sometimes :( Your life doesn't seem so happy. Or, your'e largely exaggerating how much small things seems to fuck you over and/or rip you and your wife apart.

igor_balis
22-09-2015, 12:31 PM
Delighted to find out that I don't have AIDS or any other STIs today. Fucking bosh.

Toby
22-09-2015, 12:32 PM
It just sounds like he's stuck in a cycle of thinking everything is shit and/or going against him. Buy a new toothbrush to keep at her grandparents ffs, or at least have the bollocks to say, "I'm not doing it here because that toothbrush is fucked".

Magic
22-09-2015, 12:41 PM
The real reason is because I just wanted to leave anyway they are only supporting reasons.

Toby
22-09-2015, 12:42 PM
Brushing her teeth would have been quicker than throwing a wobbler over it.

Giggles
22-09-2015, 12:43 PM
My ex woman's Da used to be a nosey cunt like that. Always had a better way of doing everything, and you were the worst in the world if you ever said a thibg about 'Daddy'.

Magic
22-09-2015, 12:43 PM
But not with the facilities there.

Boydy
22-09-2015, 12:44 PM
You sound like you blow up over the stupidest little things which doesn't sound very healthy at all

Magic
22-09-2015, 12:48 PM
I didn't blow up. Have you even read the story?

SvN
22-09-2015, 12:50 PM
"I'm not doing it here because that toothbrush is fucked".

I don't understand why you didn't just say that, instead of basically saying "I'm not doing it now for no reason whatsoever."

Magic
22-09-2015, 12:51 PM
What?

Mazuuurk
22-09-2015, 12:58 PM
I understand Magic here, as (your own) parents and other peoples opinions on how and what to do with your own child is almost as annoying as slow walkers in the middle of the sidewalk. They should really just mind their own business about that.

Now having read stuff Magic posted before, it seems this is not the first time he goes through this, and it does grow exponentially more annoying with each situation, to the point where a trivial occasion such as this toothbrush story is the drop that topples the iceberg or whatever the fuck the expression is.


Still, I do also think Magic seems a little miserable in his life and that that affects how he handles this stuff and maybe more importantly how much he lets it get to him. Normally, the key to managing annoying grandparents is to have your lady on your own side, and if I were Magic I'd work on that stuff asap with his wife before their relationship completely collapses (which is the image I get from it).

Magic
22-09-2015, 01:02 PM
Yeah she never takes my side with that shit. Still I handled it superbly.

igor_balis
22-09-2015, 01:10 PM
Magic's posts about minor social irritations should be read with a grin and curb your enthusiasm music in your head. Chill out lads, yeah?

Spammer
22-09-2015, 01:11 PM
Delighted to find out that I don't have AIDS or any other STIs today. Fucking bosh.

I got that on Thursday. Do they need a blood test to test AIDS?

igor_balis
22-09-2015, 01:12 PM
I got that on Thursday. Do they need a blood test to test AIDS?
Yes.

Magic
22-09-2015, 01:20 PM
Magic's posts about minor social irritations should be read with a grin and curb your enthusiasm music in your head. Chill out lads, yeah?

Exactly. I didn't realise it made me look like I'm about to murder/suicide?

Blitz
22-09-2015, 01:24 PM
Magic's posts about minor social irritations should be read with a grin and curb your enthusiasm music in your head. Chill out lads, yeah?

Ha, was just about to type Magic has a very Larry David feel to his outbursts.

Pepe
22-09-2015, 01:34 PM
I bet she fell asleep in the car.

Boydy
22-09-2015, 01:37 PM
And Larry David ended up divorced in Curb.

Magic
22-09-2015, 01:38 PM
No she didn't, she was fantastic as per we had a great chat then I cleaned her teeth with some professional Oral B electric brush and soft head and proper toothpaste, she wanted to floss so there and then we read the Encyclopedia I had when I was a kid, we read about 'Our Bodies' and she was pissing herself laughing when we were on about Belly Button is because of umbilical cord scarring. Inees Outees etc.

She'll look back after winning a Nobel Peace Prize and wish that her Dad had gave her Pepsi and taken her to McDonalds but that's a price I'm willing to pay.

Mazuuurk
22-09-2015, 01:41 PM
Exactly. I didn't realise it made me look like I'm about to murder/suicide?

It sort of does, at least to me, yeah.

7om
22-09-2015, 01:49 PM
A fucking encyclopedia before sleep? Read her some Disney rubbish or whatever it is the kids love these days.

AE
22-09-2015, 01:52 PM
Delighted to find out that I don't have AIDS or any other STIs today. Fucking bosh.

Funny, I'm actually about to get tested now. I always do it once a year. So damn awkward though.

Magic
22-09-2015, 01:54 PM
A fucking encyclopedia before sleep? Read her some Disney rubbish or whatever it is the kids love these days.

We alternate.

Also wear protection you fucking dirty scoundrels.

Spammer
22-09-2015, 01:56 PM
Funny, I'm actually about to get tested now. I always do it once a year. So damn awkward though.

Is it? I thought it'd be alright with the doctor being super clinical and stuff. I've never done it before, as I hadn't slept with anyone I wasn't serious with until this year.

I got with someone at the weekend and the condom broke, and today I have an occasional shooting pain in my balls, so I'm going asap.

P_3
22-09-2015, 01:59 PM
RIP Hammer. :(

7om
22-09-2015, 02:00 PM
I heard that if you get pain in your balls it's automatic castration.

igor_balis
22-09-2015, 02:02 PM
I found it surprisingly chilled, really. Filled out a form, answered a couple of questions, got given a cup to piss in (in the toilet, to be left on a shelf), then got my blood taken. Really fit blonde girl and a really fit black girl came into the waiting room while I was there, which made the time go quicker regardless of the context.

Spammer
22-09-2015, 02:04 PM
How long after did you get your results? I really can't be arsed to be dealing with AIDS at my age.

Toby
22-09-2015, 02:12 PM
A fucking encyclopedia before sleep? Read her some Disney rubbish or whatever it is the kids love these days.

It's presumably a children's illustrated one, so I really doubt a kid that age is going to differentiate much.

igor_balis
22-09-2015, 02:17 PM
How long after did you get your results? I really can't be arsed to be dealing with AIDS at my age.

A week.

P_3
22-09-2015, 02:17 PM
I thought that was a joke. As if Magic ever read a book let alone an encyclopedia as a child.

AE
22-09-2015, 02:25 PM
Is it? I thought it'd be alright with the doctor being super clinical and stuff. I've never done it before, as I hadn't slept with anyone I wasn't serious with until this year.

I got with someone at the weekend and the condom broke, and today I have an occasional shooting pain in my balls, so I'm going asap.

:D
Yeah, I'd definitely go ASAP... Worst I've got is burning sensation when peeing.

Magic
22-09-2015, 02:26 PM
It's presumably a children's illustrated one, so I really doubt a kid that age is going to differentiate much.

It's this one:

http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/myI7tj-5E1hdnnnmOiJoiHw.jpg

She loves it. It's important for kids to understand the world around them. Nevertheless, a good dose of Disney doesn't go amiss at all.

Magic
22-09-2015, 02:27 PM
I thought that was a joke. As if Magic ever read a book let alone an encyclopedia as a child.

I was an avid reader. I used to read Dickens as a child.

P_3
22-09-2015, 02:28 PM
I was an avid reader. I used to read Dickens as a child.
Where has it all gone wrong? :D

Sir Andy Mahowry
22-09-2015, 02:32 PM
It's this one:

http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/myI7tj-5E1hdnnnmOiJoiHw.jpg

She loves it. It's important for kids to understand the world around them. Nevertheless, a good dose of Disney doesn't go amiss at all.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51VCWEAQM8L._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

That one for me, I fucking loved it.

Magic
22-09-2015, 02:33 PM
My parents had a prolonged and abusive breakup which ripped our family apart just before I started secondary school. At such an important part of my life I had no one to guide me. After 1st year and aceing everything it all went to complete shit. I blame them solely for all my mental issues.

Magic
22-09-2015, 02:34 PM
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51VCWEAQM8L._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

That one for me, I fucking loved it.

Fuck sake.

*sets fire to Encyclopedia*

Toby
22-09-2015, 02:35 PM
I had Mahow's one too, although it was an atlas that I was obsessed with until I was old enough to move on to Horrible Histories.

Magic
22-09-2015, 02:37 PM
I had Mahow's one too, although it was an atlas that I was obsessed with until I was old enough to move on to Horrible Histories.

Oh yeah I had an atlas too, and a proper globe with bumps and raises for mountains and hills.

Horrible Histories was awesome. :drool:

Toby
22-09-2015, 02:38 PM
There was a picture round of Horrible Histories covers on University Challenge last night, for one of the extremely rare occasions where I get a complete set of questions correct.

wullie
22-09-2015, 02:41 PM
I was tested about two months ago and the testing itself was fine, it was the waiting room and meeting eyes and wondering that I didn't like. And the extortionate parking fees.

Magic
22-09-2015, 02:48 PM
Bloody hell that was unexpected.

7om
22-09-2015, 02:50 PM
So would you rule out divorce, even if you come to hate your wife, just for the kid?

Magic
22-09-2015, 02:56 PM
What the fuck? That's an extreme question.

Ordering some new child's Oral B heads now, fucking hell they're expensive given they only last about a month.

7om
22-09-2015, 03:08 PM
And one you must answer immediately.

Magic
22-09-2015, 03:10 PM
Yes.

Benny
22-09-2015, 03:12 PM
This isn't fun anymore.

Magic
22-09-2015, 03:13 PM
Ask me if I'd take them all out if she left me. Go on. Fucking ask me.

7om
22-09-2015, 03:15 PM
I'm scared.

Magic
22-09-2015, 03:17 PM
Why? It's what you want, isn't it? ISN'T IT?

God Damnit. :cry:

Lewis
22-09-2015, 03:59 PM
What's the worst that could happen if you (or anybody else for that matter) just told the in-laws that they're bastards and that they do your head in? Surely if you get dumped over it then you're better off (see: Giggles).

Magic
22-09-2015, 04:02 PM
They don't though, in reality. They do a lot for us, it's just the cunt-in-law is prone to scenes of absolute cuntery (such as the one above) which destroys any positive feeling I had towards her.

The best way I've found to deal with the abrasive bitch is just to nod and agree and utterly ignore anything that comes out of her mouth. Same with the father-in-law.

They both know I rule the roost and that probably upsets them as that cow is the absolute executive branch in that household.

Giggles
22-09-2015, 04:36 PM
Funnily enough her old man was the one on my doorstep asking me to sort things out when I did a runner one weekend once he found me. I enjoyed telling him where to go.

randomlegend
22-09-2015, 04:47 PM
It's this one:

http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/myI7tj-5E1hdnnnmOiJoiHw.jpg

She loves it. It's important for kids to understand the world around them. Nevertheless, a good dose of Disney doesn't go amiss at all.

I think the closest to anything educational I did before school was watch The Really Wild Show.

Magic
22-09-2015, 05:07 PM
And look at the state of you now; you can barely have a wank without downing seven co-codamols.

randomlegend
22-09-2015, 05:09 PM
I'm a physical wreckage, but I doubt that's because the dictionary wasn't considered a bedtime story in my house.

Lewis
22-09-2015, 05:19 PM
The Guinness Book of Records was a good one. 1997's edition was the best one they ever made.

Spoonsky
23-09-2015, 02:02 AM
I'll bet you 2008 was better.


http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51VCWEAQM8L._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

That one for me, I fucking loved it.

Fucking hell. :drool: Did you watch the videos too? With the intros that flew in through that crazy glass greenhouse with an old plane tied to the ceiling. What times.

Sir Andy Mahowry
23-09-2015, 02:07 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJMnLIWYTls

This shit?

If so, I hated it. I just read the encyclopaedia constantly.

Spoonsky
23-09-2015, 02:14 AM
My description was a bit off, this is what I mean:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwarhzl76D8

Sir Andy Mahowry
23-09-2015, 02:23 AM
I only had the book and the absolutely woeful CD.

Spammer
23-09-2015, 08:06 AM
I had Encarta for a bit on my PC. I remember laughing at foreign national anthems and watching a video of that lizard chasing you with its face all open like that little dinosaur from Jurassic Park that spits in that bloke from Seinfeld's face.

Magic
23-09-2015, 08:12 AM
Anyone else have Mavis Beacon on their PC?

Spammer
23-09-2015, 08:17 AM
I think I had that too at one point but never looked at it. I think Wikipedia was emerging by then.

Toby
23-09-2015, 08:35 AM
I've always wanted to go back and play Myst to see if I'd actually understand it now. It was on the computer in one of my very early primary school classes when we were far too young to get what was going on.

Other than that it was all BBC Micros. The Football Manager game on that was class and I imagine the first ever made?

Disco
23-09-2015, 08:48 AM
I've always wanted to go back and play Myst to see if I'd actually understand it now. It was on the computer in one of my very early primary school classes when we were far too young to get what was going on.

Other than that it was all BBC Micros. The Football Manager game on that was class and I imagine the first ever made?

Don't, it's terrible. Controls are terrible, puzzles are terrible with random or obtuse solutions.

Disco
23-09-2015, 08:53 AM
On a similar theme I got a box of old books from my parents, some of which were my old wildlife books.

The sealife one has pictures of whales getting butchered. :|

Sam
23-09-2015, 09:43 AM
Educational games on PC? Never.

My old man was letting me play Diablo, Quake, Doom and so forth from when I was able to access the PC, which from family videos was the age of two.

Magic
23-09-2015, 09:45 AM
Don't get me wrong, I dabbled in a bit of Duke Nukem 3D and Wolfenstein 3D afterwards. :drool:

Must have been the in thing at that point so stick '3D' after the end of the game name to make it sound cooler.

Disco
23-09-2015, 10:07 AM
Or, you know, they were made in 3D rather than 2 or 2.5D

And if we're going back to the BBC days, Granny's Garden ftw

phonics
23-09-2015, 10:10 AM
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51VCWEAQM8L._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

That one for me, I fucking loved it.

I won this book for winning the Kent County Show Costume Contest. I was one of Bill & Ben :cool:

Sam
23-09-2015, 10:21 AM
Don't get me wrong, I dabbled in a bit of Duke Nukem 3D and Wolfenstein 3D afterwards. :drool:

Must have been the in thing at that point so stick '3D' after the end of the game name to make it sound cooler.

Still have both of those installed on my laptop. The updated engine mod on Duke Nukem 3D is fantastic and makes train journeys fly by.

Magic Carpet as well, what a game that was.

Was pretty heavy into shooters through my youth, competed in Barrysworld leagues when I was 11 :D.

igor_balis
23-09-2015, 10:22 AM
Think when I have children I'll read them this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlFTjs_ez14

Spammer
23-09-2015, 11:18 AM
Duke Nukem 3D was the balls.

8 year old me giving strippers money to show us their tits. Great times.

Jimmy Floyd
23-09-2015, 11:28 AM
When I have kids all they will know will be Zoombini-induced.

randomlegend
23-09-2015, 12:51 PM
Bloody hell, now that I did play. What a game.

Spammer
28-09-2015, 04:00 PM
Got a couple of dates at the end of the week :cool:.

Girl A: Met her on daft dating website and been chatting to her for a few weeks. Seems nice and interesting, but is a big unit so we'll see how that goes. Whether I'm attracted to her will depend entirely on the chemistry so will have to wait and see.

Girl B: Met her at that fetish club a few weeks ago. Into all that crazy shit and is fiiiine so looking forward to it. Downside is that it's possible, based on what I've gathered from talking to her, the she might some mental health issues of some sort which I can't really be arsed with, especially if I'm gonna be a counsellor it'll be too much if it's at home too. We'll see.

Girl C is also on the horizon - a lass in my office who is lovely and hot and all that. She says she wants to come see me perform my crap poetry so there's definitely potential there for something. At the moment I think I like her most of the three, though girl B obviously has some bonus point for being into all kinds of crazy sex shit.

igor_balis
28-09-2015, 04:12 PM
Few weeks ago I went for a drink with my mate, his girlfriend and his girlfriend's flatmate. I quite liked her, but my mate persuaded me not to text her or facebook message her (I don't have her added) out of the blue as it would be 'weird'. He said I should just wait for when we inevitably ended up at a social event together.

On Saturday I thought fuck it, and messaged her on facebook asking if she fancied a drink. She only replied last night, but asked if I wanted to go out and watch the eclipse with her. It was dead romantic, looking at the moon and shit. Last time I take romantic advice from my mate.

Spammer
28-09-2015, 04:31 PM
That does sound nice actually.

Did the moon do much? I was up until about 2am and I glanced at it a few times and it wasn't up to much when I saw it. It was near the horizon about 7pm and was absolutely fucking huge but nothing out the ordinary otherwise.

Magic
28-09-2015, 04:32 PM
Few weeks ago I went for a drink with my mate, his girlfriend and his girlfriend's flatmate. I quite liked her, but my mate persuaded me not to text her or facebook message her (I don't have her added) out of the blue as it would be 'weird'. He said I should just wait for when we inevitably ended up at a social event together.

On Saturday I thought fuck it, and messaged her on facebook asking if she fancied a drink. She only replied last night, but asked if I wanted to go out and watch the eclipse with her. It was dead romantic, looking at the moon and shit. Last time I take romantic advice from my mate.

:D

How much did the procedure for the removal of your balls cost m8?

igor_balis
28-09-2015, 04:36 PM
That does sound nice actually.

Did the moon do much? I was up until about 2am and I glanced at it a few times and it wasn't up to much when I saw it. It was near the horizon about 7pm and was absolutely fucking huge but nothing out the ordinary otherwise.

It did eventually. We were there to watch it from about midnight, and some old bloke told us that it won't do much until gone 3. That was alright as it gave us time to go grab a couple of drinks, which helped break up the evening. By 4 it was fully red. Pretty cool actually.

igor_balis
28-09-2015, 04:39 PM
:D

How much did the procedure for the removal of your balls cost m8?

Why can't you just be happy for me for once in your life?

Magic
28-09-2015, 04:40 PM
Did you YouTube it, you big nonce?

igor_balis
28-09-2015, 04:42 PM
:(

Yes I did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSn-svY_E4E

Toby
28-09-2015, 04:52 PM
:D

How much did the procedure for the removal of your balls cost m8?

lol at this coming from you.

A romantic night for you pre-marriage probably involved ramming an empty WKD bottle in her hole behind some shitey nightclub.

Spammer
28-09-2015, 05:07 PM
Not to sound like a twat or anything Igor, but what's going on for both of you to be able to stay up until 4am on a Sunday night? :scratch:

Edit: Actually you work weird shifts don't you?

igor_balis
28-09-2015, 05:09 PM
Nah but I work from home, so as long as i'm awake by 9 it's all good.

leedsrevolution
28-09-2015, 05:12 PM
I think he takes speed. Or some kind of upper anyway.

Edit: Works from home. Dealer then.

Magic
28-09-2015, 05:15 PM
lol at this coming from you.

A romantic night for you pre-marriage probably involved ramming an empty WKD bottle in her hole behind some shitey nightclub.

Movie night mate. Was a bit of legend being the only guy who knew how to knock films off back in the day.

Magic
28-09-2015, 08:30 PM
Have managed to secure a night out with flirty bird from my old work. There's 8 of us going, 3 couples, me and her. Looks dodge I know. She asked if both of us were coming and I said we couldn't find a babysitter. I've not told the wife about it yet. Could be dangerous territory here lads.

Magic
28-09-2015, 08:31 PM
Also she came across a girl's sock that wasn't hers and asked me about it. I acted so suspiciously and thought I was lying. What an embarrassment. I'd have been hopeless in witching times.

Spammer
28-09-2015, 08:33 PM
Where did the sock actually come from?

Disco
28-09-2015, 08:35 PM
"I wasn't wearing it on my cock!"

Magic
28-09-2015, 08:37 PM
I've no idea but it's black and frilly. Definitely female. Maybe she's having a lesbian affair. :drool:

Spammer
28-09-2015, 08:38 PM
Are you sure you aren't just repressing your own cross-dressing escapades like that bloke from Filth? You remind me a bit of him actually.

Magic
28-09-2015, 08:40 PM
I've not seen it. Cross dressing doesn't really appeal to me. Remember my wife tells me what to wear.

Pleb
28-09-2015, 08:42 PM
"I wasn't wearing it on my cock!"
Proper :D that.

Foe
28-09-2015, 08:46 PM
Hammer probably wants that sock back at some point, I wouldn't chuck it.

The Merse
28-09-2015, 09:05 PM
It's depressing being 30. Had a 19 year old pretty much throw herself at me this weekend and I can only think, 'yeah, so that might be creepy' and steer clear.

Fuck 30. It's shite.

Lee
28-09-2015, 09:30 PM
Fuck that. I'd have no problem shagging a nineteen year old.

Luke Emia
28-09-2015, 09:32 PM
They'd fuck you off within about two minutes. No end of late teens early 20's girls at my place don't think there's one that I don't want to punch in the face.

Raoul Duke
28-09-2015, 09:32 PM
Merse you gombine. No-one lies on their deathbed thinking 'I wish I'd smashed fewer 19 year olds'.

The Merse
28-09-2015, 09:35 PM
Hmmm

Flirty whatsapp messages since then have made me start thinking I was was too drunk and stoned to make responsible decisions for myself and that I should definitely get the slip when she's next here, but she is from Barcelona, so may be 20 by the time that were to happen. In which case - justified.

Spammer
28-09-2015, 09:45 PM
30/2 = 15
15 + 7 = 22

Hmm. She's legal though, at least? Be reyt.


Edit: Raoul Duke :lol:

Benny
29-09-2015, 10:33 AM
Fuck her in the arse.

Disco
29-09-2015, 11:43 AM
Merse you gombine. No-one lies on their deathbed thinking 'I wish I'd smashed fewer 19 year olds'.

With the possible exception of that Glasgow binman.

Byron
29-09-2015, 11:49 AM
Fucking hell :D

Davgooner
29-09-2015, 11:50 AM
Fuck that. I'd have no problem shagging a nineteen year old.

:D

Said with some fucking gusto.

Mazuuurk
29-09-2015, 12:42 PM
Magic, are you actually intending to cheat on your wife? Have you done so before?


EDIT: I don't mean to sound high-and-mighty by the way, I'm just wondering.

Magic
29-09-2015, 12:49 PM
With the possible exception of that Glasgow binman.

:O

Mazuuurk no and no.

Mazuuurk
29-09-2015, 12:58 PM
OK, well thats good but... then what's the problem with going out with your former workmate? That your wife might get fucked off for you doing so? And if so - is it worth it anyway?

Magic
29-09-2015, 01:01 PM
Christ you're such a bitch. I bet you're not even allowed to talk to other women you thumbed cunt.

igor_balis
29-09-2015, 01:02 PM
U ok hun?

Mazuuurk
29-09-2015, 01:10 PM
Christ you're such a bitch. I bet you're not even allowed to talk to other women you thumbed cunt.

What are you on about? :confused:

Magic
29-09-2015, 01:13 PM
She's hot, she's a flirt, the wife doesn't trust her or like her, they are mates on Facebook which is shocking for me. The issue is she invited the pair of us but I hate her coming to work stuff because I can't be myself or casually flirt with the hot babes. I told hottie 1 that we couldn't find a babysitter so it's just me, I haven't mentioned it to the wife yet. If she finds out she was invited via FB or some other means then it implies guilt.

Magic
29-09-2015, 01:16 PM
U ok hun?

:D

I'm so in your friend zone. :(

Mazuuurk
29-09-2015, 01:22 PM
She's hot, she's a flirt, the wife doesn't trust her or like her, they are mates on Facebook which is shocking for me. The issue is she invited the pair of us but I hate her coming to work stuff because I can't be myself or casually flirt with the hot babes. I told hottie 1 that we couldn't find a babysitter so it's just me, I haven't mentioned it to the wife yet. If she finds out she was invited via FB or some other means then it implies guilt.

OK I understand.

Is the trouble really worth being able to be a little flirty with someone you're not intending to shag anyway? I don't know if you're trolling or something, but I personally don't see the reason for that.

Magic
29-09-2015, 01:24 PM
A bit of casual flirting doesn't mean shagging for fuck's sake. Do you never flirt? Is everything black and white? Must the first step always lead to the last step? Are you one of those self-righteous wankers that falls out with their mates because they talk to a woman when they are married? I bet you text their wives and are a spy. You disgusting bastard.

AE
29-09-2015, 03:23 PM
Had a 32 year old absolutely rip my dick off. I've never been so in love.

P_3
29-09-2015, 03:40 PM
I'm sorry, what?

igor_balis
29-09-2015, 03:46 PM
That sounds more like Hammer's kind of thing, Alb.

Magic
29-09-2015, 04:30 PM
Had a 32 year old absolutely rip my dick off. I've never been so in love.

Was it Merse?

Spammer
29-09-2015, 04:36 PM
Why can't you be yourself with your missus, Magic?

Magic
29-09-2015, 04:37 PM
I can at other social events but not work. Work is work maaan. Lee knows the score on this one.

Benny
29-09-2015, 06:39 PM
I'm with Magic, it's nice to have things in your life which don't involve the two of you.

Lee
29-09-2015, 06:47 PM
I can at other social events but not work. Work is work maaan. Lee knows the score on this one.

Yep, that shit stays separate.

AE
29-09-2015, 09:01 PM
That sounds more like Hammer's kind of thing, Alb.

Hammer is way worse


I'm sorry, what?

Something to do with her being on the best coke high, just made her insane. She's facebook messaging me now saying she can only now just start sitting properly :D


Was it Merse?

He's into 19 year olds.. I'm not sure why older women are just better right now.

Magic
29-09-2015, 09:02 PM
Aren't you 19?

7om
29-09-2015, 09:02 PM
AE :cool:

AE
29-09-2015, 09:05 PM
Why would you think that? I'm 23.

Magic
29-09-2015, 09:07 PM
Stuck in the past. :(

AE
29-09-2015, 09:10 PM
The past... And to think I could've had a 5 year old kid by now.

Mellberg
29-09-2015, 09:12 PM
Well done on breaking the stereotype.

Luca
29-09-2015, 09:43 PM
AE donning it. Well in, lad.

AE
29-09-2015, 09:49 PM
Cheers lads.

simon
30-09-2015, 07:34 AM
Alb. :cool:

I had to BOTTLE a date last night because of some kind of horrid mystery illness. I've managed to diagnose it as meningitis thanks to Google, so hopefully the GP tells me otherwise in an hour or so.

Still though, at least it's a good excuse.

Mazuuurk
30-09-2015, 08:08 AM
A bit of casual flirting doesn't mean shagging for fuck's sake. Do you never flirt? Is everything black and white? Must the first step always lead to the last step? Are you one of those self-righteous wankers that falls out with their mates because they talk to a woman when they are married? I bet you text their wives and are a spy. You disgusting bastard.

I don't even... what? :sorry:

I'm just seriously asking, mate. I don't give a fuck if you flirt, I don't mind if anyone does it, let alone my own girlfriend. It's very innocent. But no I don't value it very highly to be frank, doesn't give me much other than perhaps making me erroneously glorify my breif "single days" like 8 years ago.

What I was wondering is if it's worth the hassle with your wife (because I got the impression that there's some potential hassle if she finds out you lied about the babysitter?) just so that you can flirt a little on a night out?

Again, I don't mean to pass judgement, but personally I can relate more to for instance wanting some time away from home, going out with the mates, etc.

I also understand separating work and home, but it just didn't sound like that was the issue, or even something you'd need to lie about the babysitter about.



Well done on breaking the stereotype.

Fucking lol Mellin :D

Magic
30-09-2015, 08:58 AM
Alright Oprah. Can you get off your high horse please?

randomlegend
30-09-2015, 09:26 AM
Stop being a twat, Magic :D

Magic
30-09-2015, 04:14 PM
Just booked a hotel for a work charity quiz night in November. I was telling the wife and she was like 'Oh that sounds good, I'm not very good at quiz nights though.'

Then came the awkward 'I was just going to go myself'.

Cue huff. I'm away from 7AM for a team meeting and to work the entire day in head office so she'd have to sit like a gormless clown on an industrial estate in Inverness for the entire day, plus the inconvenience with a weekday babysitter. She's got nothing to moan about.

@Mazuuurk (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=11) and no this doesn't mean I'm going to have an extra-marital affair and illegitimate children.

Boydy
30-09-2015, 04:17 PM
You booked the hotel before telling her you were going?

Boydy
30-09-2015, 04:18 PM
Also, a babysitter? Why do live so close to your in-laws if you aren't going to use them?

Pepe
30-09-2015, 04:18 PM
Magic has never cheated but not due to lack of trying.

Toby
30-09-2015, 04:20 PM
Do you do anything together aside from your sad movie nights?

7om
30-09-2015, 04:20 PM
Are you looking forward to the time when you only see your daughter every other weekend, Magic?

Magic
30-09-2015, 04:21 PM
Oooft. I feel like Boyd's punching bag here lads.

Magic
30-09-2015, 04:24 PM
You booked the hotel before telling her you were going?

No of course not. I phoned to make sure we didn't have any plans that night. :D


Also, a babysitter? Why do live so close to your in-laws if you aren't going to use them?

I don't live so close to them? It was just an excuse really.


Magic has never cheated but not due to lack of trying.

This is not true.


Do you do anything together aside from your sad movie nights?

Yes we just spend the weekend in Glasgow.


Are you looking forward to the time when you only see your daughter every other weekend, Magic?

This will never happen.

Pepe
30-09-2015, 04:24 PM
So you have cheated then? What a twat.

Magic
30-09-2015, 04:29 PM
:moop:

AE
30-09-2015, 04:49 PM
Shiiiiiiit we can post 1 smiley at a time? :drool:

Mazuuurk
30-09-2015, 05:09 PM
We could always post the :moop: smiley, since it's over 5 characters, no?

Anyway Magic why are you being such an arsehole about this? I'm not trying to lecture you. I'm genuinely asking and was hoping for serious answers.

AE
06-10-2015, 09:36 PM
Proper pisses me off when you hit it off with a bird for the whole night, then she's all weird the next day and you eventually stop talking. Like why did you just waste all your time with me, doesn't help that she's hot too.

In another news Tinder game has gone a bit quiet, i've got a girl in the works right now, she's seems keen, but i'll ruin it in about a day or so.

https://i.gyazo.com/765b154ba9ff4324a56841f4e54b7e78.png

Raoul Duke
06-10-2015, 09:40 PM
Which one is Spoonksy in that picture?

phonics
06-10-2015, 09:57 PM
He's taking the photo with an engraved hip flash from the civil war on his utility belt.

Spoonsky
06-10-2015, 11:12 PM
I'm clearly the farthest right. Flannel, a shit hat, all by myself, drinking vodka straight from the bottle... a weirdly large proportion of my good friends are in couples, too.

phonics
07-10-2015, 09:07 AM
Mate, he's got a beard. You're never going to be anywhere near him.

Magic
07-10-2015, 09:09 AM
And reasonable size about him. He doesn't look like a typical American teen TV show nerd.

Spammer
09-10-2015, 11:22 AM
No STIs for me :drool:

I also have good Hepatitis B protection :cool:

randomlegend
09-10-2015, 12:26 PM
No STIs for me :drool:

I also have good Hepatitis B protection :cool:

I had an initial non-response to the Hep B vaccine and a poor response with the follow-up course.

My body really is a wasteland :cool:

Toby
09-10-2015, 03:58 PM
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ten_thousand.png

Now you get to watch it together.

Magic
09-10-2015, 03:59 PM
AW how quirky and sweet.

End it Smiff. End it now.

P_3
09-10-2015, 04:05 PM
But what happened to him? He must be gutted. :(

Smiffy
09-10-2015, 04:10 PM
.....

Toby
09-10-2015, 04:10 PM
You got one for what to do when you discover latest conquest wasn't even born when Film Y came out yet you watched it at the cinema?

If you're still talking the 15-rated Braveheart then yes, leave her be you dirty old bastard.

(I actually saw (a bit) of Braveheart in the cinema despite only being 5 at the time. I was in the projection room with my mum and sneaked a peek while she wasn't paying attention.)

Magic
09-10-2015, 04:13 PM
I bet everyone else noticed when your absolute cunt of a cranium blocked the projection.

Toby
09-10-2015, 04:16 PM
Any size of head would block the projector at that sort of distance, you fucking idiot. I thought you were supposed to be an engineer? Maybe a bigger head would hold a functioning brain, fucknut.

Smiffy
09-10-2015, 04:35 PM
.....

Spammer
09-10-2015, 11:10 PM
I reckon trainee girl at work might be a bit of a manipulative cow in the end. A part of me wants to pursue and dig a bit and figure out what she's really all about, but really I know I need to swallow my pride and just walk away from it. Bitter experience tells me that the longer I leave it, the harder it is to just drop it and walk away so I really need to escape right now. Its a shame because she's lovely at times, but Ive been there before and I ain't falling into no quagmire of bullshit again.

Boydy
10-10-2015, 12:42 AM
What happened to make you think that?

Spammer
10-10-2015, 10:20 AM
Asked her out for a drink, she suggested me coming along with her trainee friends again so we can get to know each other that way - fair enough as I've worked with them all and went out with them last week. Started out chatting to her nicely and then settled into the night chatting to everyone, and then she was blatantly flirting with one of the other trainees. As in, it looked like there might be something on the cards. I mean...what? Fair play to them two if that's on the cards, but then why invite me out? Why not just say she's not bothered? I could have been doing something else.

I can't be arsed with the gameplaying, which is what I thought it was. I'm out. It's a shame as she was pretty cool, but whatever.

Disco
10-10-2015, 10:32 AM
It's entirely possible that suggesting a group outing was her way of saying she's not bothered.

Magic
10-10-2015, 10:37 AM
You forgot to add 'Plot twist:' to your post, Disco.

Spammer
10-10-2015, 10:50 AM
It's entirely possible that suggesting a group outing was her way of saying she's not bothered.

Yes, and maybe flirting with dude A was another way. There's decent ways of doing it and then dickhead ways. She should just say if she isn't and if she can't do that then I'm not interested anyway. I'm happy to wait for someone who is capable of expressing things transparently.

The Merse
10-10-2015, 11:27 AM
Yes, and maybe flirting with dude A was another way. There's decent ways of doing it and then dickhead ways. She should just say if she isn't and if she can't do that then I'm not interested anyway. I'm happy to wait for someone who is capable of expressing things transparently.

Fucking lol at that. There are some of them out there, though in my experience they've been the least interesting of them too.

Probably more of a self-destructive element in me in terms of who I'm attracted by.

Disco
10-10-2015, 11:35 AM
Yes, and maybe flirting with dude A was another way. There's decent ways of doing it and then dickhead ways. She should just say if she isn't and if she can't do that then I'm not interested anyway. I'm happy to wait for someone who is capable of expressing things transparently.

Good luck with that, you're going to find plenty of people who aren't comfortable with bluntly telling someone they aren't interested, particularly if they work with them.

Spammer
10-10-2015, 02:12 PM
Yeah I get that. Most people should know though that even(/especially) at work, it's best to just be up front and honest about it.

John
10-10-2015, 02:43 PM
Maybe you're so bumbling and so far away from someone she'd be interested in that she didn't even realise you were 'asking her out'. Maybe she was interested but you meffed up the initial conversation to such an extent that you killed it and over the course of the evening she started to like the other bloke. Labelling her a 'manipulative cow' off the back of that one night is a bit much.

Spammer
10-10-2015, 02:50 PM
Nah she realised, it wasn't bumbling at all and we chatted fine. Not sure how you're daft enough to think you can come to a conclusion on it in honesty as I only gave the very basics in here.

John
10-10-2015, 02:58 PM
I didn't come to a conclusion, as should be obvious from the fact that I offered two very different possible scenarios.

Spammer
10-10-2015, 03:54 PM
The conclusion was in the final sentence.

Disco
10-10-2015, 04:01 PM
It's probably not far off though, the likelihood of it all being a ruse designed to humiliate you is pretty low.

Either she wanted to size you up in company or wasn't interested in the first place and didn't want to let you down face to face. Like it or not some people find it hard to do that kind of thing one to one.

Toby
10-10-2015, 04:08 PM
It's probably not far off though, the likelihood of it all being a ruse designed to humiliate you is pretty low.

Either she wanted to size you up in company or wasn't interested in the first place and didn't want to let you down face to face. Like it or not some people find it hard to do that kind of thing one to one.

It probably wasn't even that calculated, it sounds like she just had plans with friends and invited Hammer to join.

Spammer
10-10-2015, 04:17 PM
Yep, 'sounds like', based on no detailed information at all.

This is daft. I was just here to vent. If I wanted half-baked interpretations then I'd have written out a story which actually included some details.

Toby
10-10-2015, 04:24 PM
I wasn't having a go, I thought John's post was a bit over the top as well. I'm just saying it's silly to say it was either one thing or the other, there's all sorts of reasons she might have done what she did. I do really doubt it was a calculated ploy to lead you on, but yes - obviously we're not in a position to judge that for sure.

John
10-10-2015, 04:47 PM
The last sentence was hardly a conclusion either, right as it is, but it's not on me if you've told half a story as if it's the full thing. You were asked why you thought she was a manipulative cow, you gave an answer, I said it was a bit much to label her as such based on the information given.

You should start a blog if you just want to vent without having anyone read and respond to what you're saying.

Magic
10-10-2015, 04:51 PM
Hammer meltdown in three, two...

Boydy
10-10-2015, 04:57 PM
Tell her about your swinging club, that'll probably get her interested again.

mugbull
10-10-2015, 09:44 PM
Yeah kinda just sounds like she's not into you. If someone i'm not into asks me out at work I'm neither a) going to say no i don't like you, nor will i b) spazz out and lie my way out of having to hang out with you.

People say they want others to just be blunt if they're not attracted to them, but in reality nobody would actually prefer that mode of rejection. Besides, if yall are at a bar drinking, you might as well be flirting with everyone. No harm in that.

John
11-10-2015, 09:40 PM
That sounds fair enough on her part, though 'if you don't want to see me' sounds a bit needy.

What film were you talking about before when you said she wasn't born when it came out?

The Merse
11-10-2015, 09:45 PM
If that wasn't enough then this certainly is.

"if you dont want to see me, dont make plans to. I dont appreciate being let down, cause or not its a bit of a piss take to keep letting me down"

Naturally I've laid into her good and proper. Who the fuck she think she is telling me what to do?

Erm... That's a pretty normal thing to say. In any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, it's pretty shitty and really not the 'done thing' to continually bale on plans.

There may be mitigating circumstances, whether situational or behavioural, but these would need to be put across in an open and mature for me, as opposed to being 'laid into'.

Boydy
11-10-2015, 09:50 PM
I'm pretty sure you're the basket case.

Magic
11-10-2015, 09:52 PM
Did you make plans then cancel or is she attention seeking by trying to get you to change your already made plans?

John
11-10-2015, 09:53 PM
Different lass that one, John. It was Jurassic Park as we were going to go and watch Jurassic World. As it is she was too young and I just found it too much.

This current one is a bit of a basket case I'm thinking, don't be fooled by the carefully chosen words.

Carefully chosen words like 'latest conquest', posted two days ago? You should know that the no doubt carefully chosen words in that post imply that you were seeing someone too young to see Jurassic World in the cinema.


She's well aware that certain commitments of mine come before anything but I don't see how I can win with this. Women do my head in at the best of times with their nonsensical bullshit.

Unless you want to go into further detail, you're looking like the twat in this one.

Magic
11-10-2015, 09:55 PM
Wait isn't Jurrasic World a 12A? :D

Magic
11-10-2015, 09:56 PM
So you canceled (again)?

SvN
11-10-2015, 09:57 PM
Sounds to me like Smiffy just wants us all to call him a don and marvel at his ability to attract 16 year olds.

Magic
11-10-2015, 09:58 PM
WTF. :sick:

Giggles
11-10-2015, 09:59 PM
Sounds to me like Smiffy just wants us all to call him a don and marvel at his ability to attract 16 year olds.

That persona normally pops up every once in a while before he's back in the doldrums again. Give it a few weeks.

SvN
11-10-2015, 10:00 PM
"The likes of you" is a bit cutting.

Boydy
11-10-2015, 10:02 PM
What's been the one constant in all your interactions with women, Smiffy?

Lee
11-10-2015, 10:03 PM
Yep, he's heading for another breakdown here.

simon
11-10-2015, 10:05 PM
I don't think she's intentionally being a prick, she's just rather damaged because somebody has done similar before and it didn't end well.

Smiffy
11-10-2015, 10:05 PM
.....

John
11-10-2015, 10:05 PM
Problem with the word conquest? They all are initially, no? Commitments are simple, I'm a carer for a family member and I had to go there. She's aware of this so I don't get it.

As for the Jurassic Park stuff. Oh God. I've done myself there. :(

With the word 'latest', since it was posted two days ago and apparently in reference to someone other than the girl you've been seeing for a few weeks, at least.

'Carefully chosen words' suggests a degree of accuracy that you just don't seem to be up to.

simon
11-10-2015, 10:06 PM
Why don't you want anything serious, Smiff?

simon
11-10-2015, 10:10 PM
Her being damaged shouldn't be a reason to break it off though.

I'm sure you'd be the first to admit that you're also damaged, albeit in a different way. Give her a chance if you like her.

John
11-10-2015, 10:12 PM
I don't think it's intentional either, I firmly believe that she's far too into me far too soon and is getting way over emotional about what is, in the grand scheme of things, nothing. There's plenty of tomorrow's to do things. How it's gone from me cancelling plans to her assuming I want to 'break things off' so to speak is anyone's guess. I'm quite with you that she's damaged goods though.

You said 'laid into her'. More carefully chosen words?


You've lost me here, John. I haven't been seeing both if that's what you're alluding to. I gave 19 up when it became clear that I just felt it too wrong. She was too immature for my liking and I'm not exactly renowned for in depth discussions on current events.

I wasn't, but you did. You called someone else your 'latest conquest' two days ago, and muddied the water by talking about films you've watched/not watched with both without any specifics.

Niobium Knight
11-10-2015, 10:25 PM
You think life's a bitch, then you marry one and realise life was fucking great...

Benny
12-10-2015, 09:17 AM
Deep.

AE
12-10-2015, 08:48 PM
So i've finally managed not to fuck up one tinder conversation. Got her number a few days later, tried to take her out last week but she's a nurse so she works the graveyard shift. Fair enough I guess so we arrange for this week Wednesday. I got battered on Friday and asked her if she wanted to do brunch on Saturday, she was all over it. She suprisingly asked if I could pick her up which I did. Had a great time, she's sarcastic and funny and really cute. She's also younger than me for once which means it's a little more mind games which is fine as long as we both like each other. Going out Wednesday again for a meal then whatever. Would like to bang but might have to hold off because she's got potential.

#lifeisgood

AE
12-10-2015, 08:50 PM
So quite an in depth conversation last night. I think we'll put this one down to a misunderstanding. I told her that she has to accept that I am my own person, I've been single for so long that I'm used to doing my own thing as and when I want whereas she's not long out of a long term relationship whereby she has spent every day together and made decisions together. She didn't think of it like that. Communication skills.

It's clear she's developed way too much feelings for you, and she's freaking out because you don't feel the same way back.

Magic
12-10-2015, 11:04 PM
Fucking absolute hell FAMILY CRISIS kicking off. Just when everything seemed to be rolling along nicely. I'll explain tomorrow but it's mental.

7om
12-10-2015, 11:07 PM
The in-laws being twats again?

Magic
12-10-2015, 11:11 PM
No it doesn't involve me, directly. I hope it stays that way but the nature of it just tells me there is more to come. FCK me.

Boydy
12-10-2015, 11:12 PM
No, tell us now. You can't post that and then leave us hanging all night.

Luca
12-10-2015, 11:41 PM
For fuck's sake, Magic. Leaving us hanging like that is poor form.

Spammer
12-10-2015, 11:51 PM
Indeed. You should write it all out or not say anything.

There's a lass I'm seeing on Sunday with genuine potential. Not manipulative cow lass who might not have been manipulative after all, another one. Im pretty fickle apparently. Tried everything I could in my drunken state to get her back to mine on Saturday when we were waiting for her taxi and she was keen but she said she wanted to wait. That showed some impressive mental acuity on her part as it seemed to be heading that way. Anyway seeing her Sunday. She's ace :drool:. She went to some shit hole country a few years ago to build a school with a bunch of other whites without any manual labour skills, and I just found it adorable. Screw trainee girl, this one is the real shit.

mugbull
13-10-2015, 03:07 AM
No it doesn't involve me, directly. I hope it stays that way but the nature of it just tells me there is more to come. FCK me.

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/07/7-ways-to-be-insufferable-on-facebook.html

See #2, replacing facebook with TTH

Magic
13-10-2015, 07:55 AM
OK so it turns out my little sister's long term boyfriend (of 6 years) who we all thought of as part of the family (and who I got my jaw broken for fighting for him in an argument) has actually been stalking and harassing a girl he had an affair with so much so she's had to leave the country. So she posted this on FB and tagged his mum and dad whilst we were at the pictures and I just thought 'oh no' and right enough 41 comments later there's arguing etc.

Anyway its just really sinister. I never ever thought he'd be like that, he was really sound and we got on well. We were out last week for her birthday tea and had a pretty good time. WTF. The girl actually messaged my sister all the texts and stuff he'd been sending her and it's quite creepy I've been told. Desperate to lay my eyes on them so going round tonight. When I posted that I expected the wife to broaden her extroverted shoulders and basically spend the night there resulting in no sleep for anyone but thankfully that didn't happen. FFS. Just concerned that if he is a complete and utter lunatic what he might do now (in terms of stalking etc).

To make things worse he actually started the affair the night my grandad passed away whilst we were grieving (she's matched up the dates on the messages). He did come around later. Eurgh.

Benny
13-10-2015, 08:04 AM
What a cunt, do his jaw in.

:handbags:

Magic
13-10-2015, 08:07 AM
What a cunt, do his jaw in.

:handbags:

I wouldn't ever do that, too much to lose especially over something like this. Just best cutting all ties and forgetting immediately I think. It's weird though it wasn't like he was distant, he was at pretty much every family event, he took an active part in my kid's life, they looked after her, we got on well. I'm just shell shocked he's a total weirdo because honestly you would never be able to tell. We would take the piss out of freaks like him. It's just so bloody strange.

Mazuuurk
13-10-2015, 08:08 AM
No it doesn't involve me, directly. I hope it stays that way but the nature of it just tells me there is more to come. FCK me.


Desperate to lay my eyes on them so going round tonight.



You realize the risks here, right? From what you've posted about your in-laws and extended family and what not, it seems the best course of action here is to stay completely out of it, no?

I understand the allure, mind you, of course.