The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[phonics]

Manc just wanna say those PMs to Phonics weren't anything personal, I just felt you were, at times, attributing negative connotations to people of multi-ethnic backgrounds.

Anyway, this is Allah's retribution, son, let that be a lesson next time you think of being a big man moderator.

Names Joseph and I'm being given a kid out the blue. If anything this kids going to make your life a pain in the ass.

[Waffdon]

Who gives a shit. Does it change your life? You've been the most personal aggro weirdo, to the point I've had multiple complaints, to various posters in this forums short time existing and you think I'll share that stuff with you? Get fucked.

:lol:

The fuck

[Giggles]

Congrats phonics. People say they make you happy no matter how much of a shock it is right now.

[Baz]

Liars

[SincereTheRebel]

Confirmed. I’m a dad.

A Black baby. Niceeeeeeee.

[Kikó]

Phonics 😎 sperm of a champ.

[Dquincy]

What exactly has gone on here? Was it a drunken encounter? Did she lie about contraception?

[wullie]

I've become a Cbeebies connoisseur so I can help guide you through that tricky maze when the time comes.

[Lofty]

A fool and his bollock yoghurt are easily parted.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I can just express an opinion, I'd like to propose that 'bollock yoghurt' is one of the most horrific phrases I have ever heard.

[Dquincy]

A fool and his bollock yoghurt are easily parted.
Should have released it on her back.

[Alex]

If I can just express an opinion, I'd like to propose that 'bollock yoghurt' is one of the most horrific phrases I have ever heard.

:D

Yeah, I could have done without that forcing it's way into my mental vocabulary too. You're a wordsmith though Lofty, nobody can take that away from you.

Congratulations Phonics. Whatever the circumstances, I'm sure it will be a positive thing.

[Magic]

:D

Yeah, I could have done without that forcing it's way into my mental vocabulary too. You're a wordsmith though Lofty, nobody can take that away from you.

Congratulations Phonics. Whatever the circumstances, I'm sure it will be a positive thing.

It will be a literal disaster.

[Offshore Toon]

If Phonics can kick his addictions, he'll do well, but given his mood swings/reactions to posts on here (just think how insane you have to be to write that shit out and click post), I can see him ending up doing time or being put on a list.

It'd be nice to have another Mod Idol though.

[Ben]

phonics I’m currently at a Christmas themed baby sensory class on my day off work. My daughter has just shit everywhere and there’s about ten other babies screaming their heads off. All the best.

[wullie]

One weird part is the various colours of poo you see in the first week in particular, can't even look at pesto now.

[SvN]

The black tar during the first few days is just horrendous to clean.

[thommo]

It's pretty bad but baby poo is definitely better on the nostrils than when they start eating regular food.

[Magic]

It's pretty bad but baby poo is definitely better on the nostrils than when they start eating regular food.

What? It's absolutely worse when it becomes proper turd.

[SvN]

Epic reading skills.

[wullie]

You don't realise how desensitised to it you are until you bury your face into a nappy to determine if they've shat themselves.

[Magic]

Epic reading skills.

Indeed. Naughty chatGPT.

[Kikó]

Boring dad chat 😎

[Lewis]

Names Joseph and I'm being given a kid out the blue. If anything this kids going to make your life a pain in the ass.

Maybe not the perfect comparison that one.

[igor_balis]

Jesus mate, good luck

[Mike]

Welcome to the club phonics.
It’s mostly utterly disgusting and exhausting. Other than that it’s boss.

[igor_balis]

First date with work girl was very much a date, which was nice. Turns out I wasn't wrong in sensing there'd been 2 years of consistent mutual flirting. Both agreed we had sorta panicked and backed up when things almost happened a few times before cus don't shit where you eat etc, but now I'm leaving there's less jeopardy. I think that's sensible. Night concluded with a lot of very gross snogging in a nice pub.

Last night was a...mixed bag. Met her in her town, few drinks at the pub, then back to hers. I addressed the fact that a very long dry spell combined with the 5 pints on an empty stomach and a bit of nerves meant I was going to be unable to do the whole willy in vag thing, which she was perfectly understandable about, and I think a more mature way of dealing with it than trying to squeeze my little floppy into her and praying I get and maintain an erection against all odds.

I used other methods, and lads, thank the lord for lazy/selfish men - by going down on her, I immediately beat nearly half of her previous partners, a figure which lines up with what other girls have told me. Still surprises me but I'm not complaining. She also told me that I made her cum using my hands, and when I was like nawww bollocks she was very insistent that I had. I'll choose to take her word for it. Probably better this way round - I probably come across better making her cum and failing to actually fuck her than if I'd given her 5 minutes of patented Igor mediocre missionary and hadn't made her cum. Hopefully I am able to provide both next time. At least this way I can't Phonics her, I guess.

[Giggles]

You couldn't get a hardner after 5 beers? :D

[Ben]

Muff diving is awesome. :thbup:

[Foe]

Someone change his name to floppy_balis before he deletes that post.

Ps I hope things work out with her, you seem to like her.

[igor_balis]

You couldn't get a hardner after 5 beers? :D

it was definitely more performance anxiety but the booze didn't help

[Giggles]

Someone change his name to floppy_balis before he deletes that post.

Ps I hope things work out with her, you seem to like her.


Yeah well that too. For all the joking, I hope it does work out really well.

[7om]

Was this one’s arse clean?

[Danny]

When he was finished, yeah.

[Magic]

"better than almost half" :harold:

[igor_balis]

"better than almost half" :harold:

mate you prob think sucking fanny makes you a homosexual like some kinda cuck scotch tony soprano so you can bloody piss off you silly bastard

[Dark Soldier]

Fuck him up igor cunt eats fanny at a 90 degree angle with his jaw fucking do him lad

[Manc]

Vintage.

[Spikey M]

it was definitely more performance anxiety but the booze didn't help

Igor_Balless.

[Magic]

mate you prob think sucking fanny makes you a homosexual like some kinda cuck scotch tony soprano so you can bloody piss off you silly bastard

Sucking cock makes you better at cunnylingus I'll have you know.

[Dquincy]

Muff diving is awesome. :thbup:
Awesome is a strong word.

It's alright, but there's plenty better.

[randomlegend]

mate you prob think sucking fanny makes you a homosexual like some kinda cuck scotch tony soprano so you can bloody piss off you silly bastard

He's just got PTSD from going down on his ex-wife and getting a mouthful of kickboxer brand man gravy.

[Spikey M]

Bread sauce, surely. A fanny full of man gravy would be enough to scar anyone for life.

[igor_balis]

My gay mate calls the post anal sex seepage "bum gravy".

[Boydy]

I thought we were all agreed the standard term was now "bollock yoghurt"?

[igor_balis]

Procreation marination

[Foe]

A few of the worst posts in forum history in a row there.

Wish I could unread that.

[Spikey M]

My gay mate calls the post anal sex seepage "bum gravy".

Bumion Gravy.

[Ben]

We are hitting new lows.

[Giggles]

We are hitting new lows.

There’s no bottom to the TTH barrel.

[SincereTheRebel]

Ive always thought ramming it inside a girl's bum hole, is a form of humiliation, degrading dominance. Is there some truth to this?

[Ben]

There’s no bottom to the TTH barrel.

Didn’t take long for that to be proven correct.

[Giggles]

Didn’t take long for that to be proven correct.

Probably only on one trajectory too as we all become older and filthier bastards.

[Don]

One of my boys found out his bird was cheating on him when he found a used condom up her whilst he had his head down there. I don't think any tale will top that for me.

[igor_balis]

One of my boys found out his bird was cheating on him when he found a used condom up her whilst he had his head down there. I don't think any tale will top that for me.

I mean, feels weird to be on the other end of such an accusation but I'm calling 100% bullshit on that. Not a chance.

[Giggles]

One of my boys found out his bird was cheating on him when he found a used condom up her whilst he had his head down there. I don't think any tale will top that for me.

I’ll take things that didn’t happen for 10 please.

[igor_balis]

There’s no bottom to the TTH barrel.

And even if there is one, there's all sorts of disgustingly named substances dripping out of it. Yum.

[Lofty]

I once nearly gave myself an anuerysm resisting the urge to violently vomit whilst going down on some bird after too many beers and fags. I still managed an erection, mind.

[randomlegend]

Bumion Gravy.

:lol:

[randomlegend]

There’s no bottom to the TTH barrel.

And there's no bum gravy without a bottom.

[igor_balis]

I once nearly gave myself an anuerysm resisting the urge to violently vomit whilst going down on some bird after too many beers and fags. I still managed an erection, mind.

Show off

[Lewis]

I mean, feels weird to be on the other end of such an accusation but I'm calling 100% bullshit on that. Not a chance.

It seems like a very strange thing to a) make up; and b) tell people.

[randomlegend]

You'd be amazed the things women lose/forget about up their vaginas.

[Magic]

You'd be amazed the things women lose/forget about up their vaginas.

Disturbing from a paediatrician.

[Boydy]

Disturbing from a paediatrician.
:lol:

[randomlegend]

Not for anyone cognitively intact enough to remember I did 2 years of adult medicine.

A full bulb of garlic was the standout.

[Dquincy]

Ive always thought ramming it inside a girl's bum hole, is a form of humiliation, degrading dominance. Is there some truth to this?
You don't 'ram' it in. That'll hurt you, and her even more so. Need to warm it up first.

[phonics]

So last time you heard from me I was a father to be. A few days later she's rushed to hospital, miscarries, and says it my fault and dumps me for stopping her from jumping in front of oncoming traffic because the baby died.


Quite the evening.

[Danny]

Sounds like a lucky escape tbh

[Baz]

Congrats!

[Kikó]

Crikey.

[Giggles]

Sorry to hear that, even though it could be for the best at this early stage. All you can do is be there when she needs you now.

[Ben]

Fucking hell. :|

[Ian]

Fucking hell, that's a bad time.

[Spikey M]

A miscarriage is rarely good news, but honestly that sounds like a bullet (and lorry) well dodged.

[Magic]

It's a shame you didn't both walk in front of the lorry.

[7om]

Stick a johnny on in future you silly sod.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Merry Christmas.

[Gray Fox]

BazBall even extending to pregnancies it seems.

Sorry to hear it Phonics as that sounds like a mindfuck of a week.

[Shindig]

That's a ... fucking rollercoaster. :| For all involved.

[Boydy]

How long were you with this woman?

[randomlegend]

It's a shame you didn't both walk in front of the lorry.

:D

You've been in a particularly good mood lately, did she already say no?

[SincereTheRebel]

So last time you heard from me I was a father to be. A few days later she's rushed to hospital, miscarries, and says it my fault and dumps me for stopping her from jumping in front of oncoming traffic because the baby died.


Quite the evening.

Sounds like she lied. Back to the streets she will return.

[Manc]

Definitely happened.

[igor_balis]

As much as I'm glad you're directing your cynicism towards someone else, I'd say that your gauge for stuff which is obviously bullshit is still massively off. Seems pretty plausible to me.

[randomlegend]

As a doctor I'd like to confirm that nobody has ever got pregnant and then had a miscarriage.

[-james-]

I'm with Sincere. The latter part of the story matches up with someone who would invent a pregnancy.

[Lewis]

Plus nobody has been 'rushed to hospital' for months.

[randomlegend]

Miscarriage is exceedingly common in early pregnancy, it's really not a hard story to believe.

[Spikey M]

Plus nobody has been 'rushed to hospital' for months.

This is indeed the only far fetched bit. Unless by "rushed to hospital" he means, driven there by a relative and camped in the car park for 3 weeks.

[SincereTheRebel]

NHS claim 1 in 8 end in a miscarriage. Based on her ability to cut you off so quickly after the fact and you helped her. I dont beleive a word.

[randomlegend]

This is indeed the only far fetched bit. Unless by "rushed to hospital" he means, driven there by a relative and camped in the car park for 3 weeks.

There's probably some people got there in a rash today, given the ambulances will have been only responding to people who actually need them as opposed to being bunged up with people who don't.

[phonics]

Ambulance took 6 hours to arrive tbf so if anything it feels quite realistic.

[Dark Soldier]

My dad was rushed to hospital four weeks ago so yeah it does happen lads.

You're a lucky lad phonics getting away from that. Now pump all your wealth into PYR like I told you to, good lad.

[randomlegend]

111 has a lot to answer for in terms of wasting ambulance time in my experience.

The algorithm they use for kids with fever clearly has a question on it designed to pick up the ones who have a reduced conscious level, but often if the parent just says the child is more tired than usual they will just tick that box and send an ambulance ?meningitis. These are kids who have a cold.

[Baz]

My dad was rushed to hospital four weeks ago so yeah it does happen lads.
How’s he doing?

[Dark Soldier]

How’s he doing?

Still rough mate. Each day as it comes, not left his side since it happened. But got things in place now to sort it out.

Cheers for your kind words the other week btw, top man.

[Spikey M]

What's happened DS?

[Ian]

Still rough mate. Each day as it comes, not left his side since it happened. But got things in place now to sort it out.

Cheers for your kind words the other week btw, top man.

It's a very bad time, hope he gets through it.

[Ian]

Also the weird response to Phonics here has been very on-brand TTH.

[7om]

Well phonics will no longer be a dad thanks to us, so I reckon we did a great job with our advice.

[SincereTheRebel]

Can they provide proof of the miscarriage?

[phonics]

Why would I ask for one. I'm not a weirdo psycopath.

[Spikey M]

Can they provide proof of the miscarriage?

Fucking what? :D

[Gray Fox]

There’s no bottom to the TTH barrel.

:nodd:

[Giggles]

I wouldn’t blame Sincere, it lays fully on the person that spelled miscarriage for him.

[Magic]

So he's just made it up? Outstanding.

[Shindig]

You really can't read, can you?

[Magic]

You really can't read, can you?

I read alright...between the lines.

[Offshore Toon]

Tbf Phonics' last mugshot kinda looked like proof of miscarriage.

[SincereTheRebel]

Fucking what? :D

So I guess it's not possible.

[randomlegend]

Strictly speaking, she should have a discharge letter with her diagnosis on it.

[phonics]

You people are fucking weirdos I’m never sharing anything in here again.

[Spikey M]

Yeah, it's definitely fair to judge us all by Sinceres opinion.

[Boydy]

Posts something that's obviously going to get a lot of reaction.

*gets reaction*

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/027/475/Screen_Shot_2018-10-25_at_11.02.15_AM.png

[Magic]

Abort thread.

[Magic]

She said yes lol.

[Dquincy]

Congratulations. What was the question.

[Giggles]

Congratulations. What was the question.

Does she like kickboxing.

[Kikó]

Fuck sake :D

[Magic]

She actually said fuck off first.

[phonics]

edit: That was mean. Good luck to her.

[Spikey M]

"Fuck off, yeah?" is not a "yes" mate. :(

[Magic]

edit: That was mean. Good luck to her.

What did you say.

[SincereTheRebel]

She said yes lol.

We have lost another one lads. TTH numbers are dwindling at a rapid rate.

[Pepe]

Congratulations Magic.

[Shindig]

We have lost another one lads. TTH numbers are dwindling at a rapid rate.

Have we? The last one said yes.

[SincereTheRebel]

Once I have some time to type it out, I have one piece of the story to tell....

[Baz]

https://media1.giphy.com/media/70Q7SmSAHaBB21xGjC/giphy.gif

[Spikey M]

She's 3 months pregnant and the tread depth on her cars nearside tyre is near the legal limit.

[Waffdon]

Do you lot have prefer sex with or without a condom? I’ve only recently had sex with one on in the last few months when I suggested the missus stops taking the pill as it might stop her being a moody bitch. That hasn’t really stopped but her sex drive has quadrupled and instead of twice a month it’s been two or three times a week. That and I am starting to feel like a bit of a porn star lasting well into double digits rather than 4/5 if you’re lucky. The downside is obviously there’s something in between your cock but I think I can deal with that for now.

Anyway, happy Sunday.

[Giggles]

Get the snip. You not ever reproducing would be an added bonus.

[Waffdon]

We need someone to keep you on your toes in 20 years in between you punching the wall to release your anger.

[Baz]

Get the snip. 4th March, baby! :youpi:

And its miles better without one on.

[Waffdon]

It probably is on the face of it but you’re still shooting your load at the end of the day so I will enjoy this honeymoon period whilst it lasts.

[Ben]

It's a no from me.

[Lofty]

Preferable without but it never bothered me with.

[Baz]

It's noticeable how much better it is without one on (and quite jarring, despite this) when you fuck it off mid-deed and decide you'll just pull out when the time comes. The immediate comparison is enlightening.

[-james-]

Just pull out bro (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3455634/)

[randomlegend]

Only ever done it without one but not sure how with could be better.

[Baz]

Only ever done it without one but not sure how with could be better.

You don't get his poo stuck in your japs eye.

[randomlegend]

That's true.

[igor_balis]

It's been so long since I shagged I'm not sure I'm a particularly trustworthy source, but I always really hated condom sex. Like, I know most people generally don't like it much/are ambivalent, but nah, really rubbish. Were talking about condoms with some female friends a while back, and they were quite taken aback by my stance, thinking I was performatively exaggerating or borderline thought I was being "problematic". Like, I didn't say I was just ignoring the girls and going in raw, ffs. Also thought I was lying when I said I'd rather get sucked off bareback than shag with a condom.

I'm always shocked when I hear about people in very long term relationships, even marriages, who regularly use them. Spose it's still better than jacking it to Mrs Doyle watching old father ted episodes.

[Gray Fox]

Get the snip. You not ever reproducing would be an added bonus.

I've had this done, coming up to 6 years now.

Minimal discomfort for the shortest time and a lifetime of no more worrying.

[Spikey M]

Were talking about condoms with some female friends a while back, and they were quite taken aback by my stance, thinking I was performatively exaggerating or borderline thought I was being "problematic".

You should probably stop hanging around the "It's all men until it's no men" crowd before you get an accusation thrown your way.

[Yevrah]

Quite, any who would accuse someone of performatively exaggerating sounds like they should be given a wide berth as well.

[igor_balis]

Quite, any who would accuse someone of performatively exaggerating sounds like they should be given a wide berth as well.

I dunno, I've grown to appreciate Manc at times

[Boydy]

They were probably just horrified at the idea of possibly becoming pregnant with a child with a humongous head.

[SincereTheRebel]

I've had this done, coming up to 6 years now.

Minimal discomfort for the shortest time and a lifetime of no more worrying.

I've seriously considered it. Getting it all done. The snip. Circumcision and extra width. Im childless for now and hope to keep it that way. Gambling with my life though lads.

[Lofty]

Extra width? As in surgery or fillers? Save your money lad.

[SincereTheRebel]

Lads. I've realised , that I have extremely difficulty being faithful. Therefore, I am no longer interested in being faithful and will no longer be pursing committed relationships.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

No more looking at tyres?

[SincereTheRebel]

:lol:

Too busy looking at bums and boobs. I cant help myself.

[Dark Soldier]

Pretty sure me and the missus break up tomorrow. Absolutely no bad blood, we've basically just been living together for a year now anyway. We don't eat together, separate bedrooms, lack of intimacy. Never any arguments between us, it's just what it is.

We're having 'the talk'. We get on so well together as mates and have a laugh that I feel it's gonna be emotional, but a relief for both of us.

Been a banging five years, can't complain.

[Don]

Separate bedrooms :drool: I fear I won't get buy-in until I give her a baby.

[Dark Soldier]

It is fucking glorious to be fair. Ain't sharing a bed with nae cunt going forward.

[Don]

Super king size beds solve the issue largely but I still think there's major gains to be had with the separate bedrooms.

[Dark Soldier]

Aye even when me and the missus were good, I always found it a weird throwback to sleeping in the same bed being such a huge thing. I've slept better this year than the previous four combined, it's been awesome.

[Mike]

How did it come about?

[Dark Soldier]

What the break up or separate beds?

[Baz]

Surely there’s no coming back from separate bedrooms.

[Spikey M]

Is this likely to lead to more or less time for TTH?

[Dark Soldier]

Is this likely to lead to more or less time for TTH?

I'll have all the free time in the world lad outside of work :drool:

[Spikey M]

Giver her an extra kick up the arse from us as she leaves. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Does she own a webcam?

[Dark Soldier]

Does she own a webcam?

She is Romanian so you can begin the teifecta. I'll ask her.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They are very popular on the camsites.

[Manc]

This explains all the takeaways.

[Mike]

What the break up or separate beds?
The beds. My wife’s Dad and his partner do it and we’ve never understood, thought you could shine some light on it.

[Dark Soldier]

I snore. She snores. One gets pissed off, its basically whoever sleeps first and I'm more of a night owl so I got the short straw.

[Dark Soldier]

We also both like to spread out in bed so becomes a war for space, plus different firmness. Spare bed is softer, she prefers a firmer mattress.

[Ian]

My mate and his wife have done separate beds basically since day one and are happy as Larry. As DS says, they both found each other annoying as fuck for actually sleeping in the same space and are much happier for sleeping separately.

[Baz]

Is it not a bit ‘sex by appointment only’ though?

[Dark Soldier]

What. It doesn't mean you can't go in either room. Ain't 10 years old with a keep out sign on the door lad. You still get to bend ya missus over the sofa and slip her the four finger 'kit kat' special.

Not that I have for a year like, but yeah.

[Manc]

How did the talk go?

[Dark Soldier]

All good. Was done in like half hour. Both in exactly rhe same place. End of the relationship but staying mates as I said we've basically been that for a year or so.

Both staying living together til new year at least. She wants to move abroad in the next year so if so I'll stay here, if not I'll find a place.

Absolutely no issues from.either of us. Probably the most grown up break up the world's ever witnessed. Out for food now as mates.

And tbh, I've basically been bi all my life, so prob gonna explore that 'other' side for a bit now. Been a while.

[Foe]

All good. Was done in like half hour. Both in exactly rhe same place. End of the relationship but staying mates as I said we've basically been that for a year or so.

Both staying living together til new year at least. She wants to move abroad in the next year so if so I'll stay here, if not I'll find a place.

Absolutely no issues from.either of us. Probably the most grown up break up the world's ever witnessed. Out for food now as mates.

And tbh, I've basically been bi all my life, so prob gonna explore that 'other' side for a bit now. Been a while.

That’s about as good an outcome as possible - glad to hear you have peace.

Can imagine the real test will be in the next 6 months if either of you bring partners back - or is that basically a no go and an “away only” rule?

I went on a date yesterday which was great because I remembered to take oats and got to feed ducks. :cool:

[Dark Soldier]

We" e both agreed if we go with anyone else it's no issue, just not to bring them back for the next few months. Worked out great. Mad how easy It went.

Also congrats on dating the ducks mate.

[Spikey M]

I know it's Scotland, but I still think taking porridge on a date is a bit far.

Better than taking lettuce to the Cinema though, I guess.

Glad it went "well" DS, however it has made for very poor thread material. We will hope for some delayed reaction drama over the coming months.

[Foe]

I know it's Scotland, but I still think taking porridge on a date is a bit far.

Better than taking lettuce to the Cinema though, I guess.

Glad it went "well" DS, however it has made for very poor thread material. We will hope for some delayed reaction drama over the coming months.

Better than turning up with a load of frozen peas in a sandwich bag which was plan B.

Lettuce will be a mainstay in cinemas countrywide by 2035.

[Mike]

I’d go on a date with Foe if I got to feed the ducks.

[Pen]

Wouldn't recommend. Went on date with him on Saturday and he only bought enough osta for him and the ducks.

[Don]

Hold on, my man's just come out as a cocksucker. I need details of how this started and progressed because if it's just starting from a liking of trannies as an adult then shiiiii. I missed Kiev Pride this weekend too :(

[Dark Soldier]

Hold on, my man's just come out as a cocksucker. I need details of how this started and progressed because if it's just starting from a liking of trannies as an adult then shiiiii. I missed Kiev Pride this weekend too :(

I've always been bi lad. Never been a secret on here, although ain't posted much about love/sex for a long while.

Proper top though, no cunt is spelunking up my arse.

I'm just kinda 70/30 bi in favour of women as have a type when it comes to lads, but with women I'd shaft about 90% of the population.

[Offshore Toon]

Is it little Iranian blokes by any chance?

[Dark Soldier]

I find they have flat arses and mother complexes.

[Dark Soldier]

Fucking loving gay/bi tinder and bumble lads. So many little fuckboys. Absolute prime.

[SincereTheRebel]

Nasty Boy

[Dark Soldier]

You've never lived til you've done a 19yo femboy in stockings bro

[SincereTheRebel]

Yoooooo :lol:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Probably has his/her tyres right too.

[Lofty]

I'd imagine there's a lot less pussy footing around on gay dating apps than the straight ones where women take offence if you express an interest in shagging them.

[Dark Soldier]

Yeah man it's glorious if you're that way inclined. Get on it how you can pop your cherry

[Magic]

Absolutely jealous.

[SincereTheRebel]

I'd imagine there's a lot less pussy footing around on gay dating apps than the straight ones where women take offence if you express an interest in shagging them.

I didnt even think about it like that. Dude on dude, is just direct comms. FFS.

[Magic]

I didnt even think about it like that. Dude on dude, is just direct comms. FFS.

Nailed it. Cocks out.

[Dark Soldier]

DMs are open Sincere. I'll even buy the maid outfit.

[SincereTheRebel]

Dealing with one of these femboys. How long does it take from message one, before he bites the pillow?

Dealing with these slags, it takes me about three dates and about £50, if im lucky before
I slide in between her soul gap.

[Spikey M]

It does seem tough for single straight men these days. You can't even pull at a club anymore, unless you're willing to risk a rape accusation if they decide they were too drunk to consent the next day. Then with online dating you have every fucker telling 100 women a day that they're 10/10 and that they'd give her the world, and they seem to actually believe the bullshit.

And with that, relationships are number 114 on the "things the Internet has destroyed" list.

[Dark Soldier]

Dealing with one of these femboys. How long does it take from message one, before he bites the pillow?

Dealing with these slags, it takes me about three dates and about £50, if im lucky before
I slide in between her soul gap.

Generally meet up, if you fancy each other fuck. But then it's only been a week and met one so far.

Just like the female side there are a fair few wanting love and fair play. It's just more straight to the point with lads, ya know where you stand. Top/bottom/side, you're fit, wanna fuck if compatible.

Really can't be arsed with a relationship for at least another couple years. Need to lose some weight and get back in shape. Fuck buddies is the goal innit.

[Dark Soldier]

Also if you're looking to just slam some fanny, ass, mouth, whatever is your pleasure download Feeld. Its literally designed for that. From straight all the way to the freakish kinks.

If your cock is as big as Taz dreams about, Sincere, you'll do well on it.

[Dark Soldier]

Must be getting old lads. Had an all weekend fuck season lined up, new fanny. And just said nah cos I'd rather put my feet up and chill.

[SincereTheRebel]

I realised last night that its going on four years since i watched p0rn and touched my wood.

[Lofty]

Get married and you'll be back on the horse.

[SincereTheRebel]

:lol:

[Dark Soldier]

Haven't got me dick wet in over a year. Think I just cannae be arsed with sex anymore lads.

[Lofty]

Are you on any medication out of interest?

[Dark Soldier]

Are you on any medication out of interest?

None that would do it. I genuinely think I'm just lazy mate. Wild youth, still got sex drive, just cannot be arsed. A few offers the last year and just nah.

[Dquincy]

I realised last night that its going on four years since i watched p0rn and touched my wood.

But why?

[SincereTheRebel]

I decided to stop watching porn and because of that. Jerking off has been irrelevant.

[randomlegend]

Wait so you used to watch porn for fun and then deciding to have a wank was a side effect?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Watched it for the story.

[SincereTheRebel]

Wait so you used to watch porn for fun and then deciding to have a wank was a side effect?

Yes


Watched it for the story.

He really does do the plumbing at the end.

[Manc]

I decided to stop watching porn and because of that. Jerking off has been irrelevant.

Have you reached enlightenment?

[Dquincy]

I decided to stop watching porn and because of that. Jerking off has been irrelevant.
Fair play.

I have questions:
1. Are you married or with someone?
2. Are you getting it nightly? (Or at least on a regular basis?)
3. If not, are you not frustrated and your balls the size of tennis balls?
4. Why did you stop? Felt it was degrading, or worked your way through all the categories?

[SincereTheRebel]

Have you reached enlightenment?

I dont understand what you mean?


Fair play.

I have questions:
1. Are you married or with someone?
2. Are you getting it nightly? (Or at least on a regular basis?)
3. If not, are you not frustrated and your balls the size of tennis balls?
4. Why did you stop? Felt it was degrading, or worked your way through all the categories?

1. No
2. Twice a week.
3. Im not as thirsty as I once was. I can go long periods without sex and it does not affect me at all.
4. I decided i didnt want to watch pr0n or jerk off in my new house :lol:

[SincereTheRebel]

Talk about timing. I was planning on having a talk with this girl im casual dealing with. Her brother died last night. It may not be the best time to tell her, i dont want her kitty kat anymore.

[Dquincy]

Ah that is some unfortunate timing (and shit for the brother too). If you're casual just tell her you're giving her space. How did he die?

Also re the jerking, reasonable answers tbf. Last one ws a bit niche though. :D I find if I go a week without a release, my mindset is affected. And I'm dry humping my wife's leg.

[SincereTheRebel]

Lad was found at 7am on the bedroom floor. Suffered a heart attack. He was only 33. Scary.

Why are you going over a week without mounting your wife though?

[Dquincy]

Lad was found at 7am on the bedroom floor. Suffered a heart attack. He was only 33. Scary.

Why are you going over a week without mounting your wife though?

Kids innit. Knackered by the end of the day.