The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Boydy]

So does no one else think Shindig's the weirdo here too?

[Spikey M]

Of course he is, but a stalky weirdo donning is still a donning.

[phonics]

It’s a bit like cheering for the Yorkshire Ripper.

[Spikey M]

Donnings don't get much better than a police trolling Serial Killer, in fairness.

[Danny]

It’s a bit like cheering for the Yorkshire Ripper.

I would say Wearside Jack is more Shinners

[Spikey M]

Purple Aki.

[igor_balis]

To be fair, I reckon about 80% of the best stuff generated by this forum is directly the result of weirdness/general personality disorders, so if we started getting fussy about that there'd be asterisks next to most of the good posts.

[Waffdon]

So does no one else think Shindig's the weirdo here too?


It’s a bit like cheering for the Yorkshire Ripper.

#TeamIgor

Get the WhatsApp group set up.

[igor_balis]

The mental gymnastics that had to be done to "show everyone I'm not seething but also double down on my point" I mean you must be fucking exhausted.

No but I am happy to admit I'm seething. I don't think accepting that Shindig did me good and proper with his comment but also thinking he's a weirdo and admitting that I'm getting fucked off with him following me around the board and making weird comments at anything I say is like some weird cognitive dissonance thing. It's like how I can still appreciate a banger scored by Ruben Neves despite being a West Brom fan.

[igor_balis]

Waff, Boyd, Phonics, your loyalty shall not be forgotten x

[Giggles]

#TeamIgor

Get the WhatsApp group set up.

Pm me the num m8 x

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Waff, Boyd, Phonics, your loyalty shall not be forgotten x

I've always been loyal you twat.

[Baz]

Telegram > WhatsApp

[Magic]

Shindig is a pure autism cyclone but he doesn't pretend to be anything else.

[Giggles]

Telegram > WhatsApp

If you don't want to talk to anyone.

[igor_balis]

I've always been loyal you twat.

Quite the army I'm building. A meet of us five would be epoch defining.

[Magic]

Quite the army I'm building. A meet of us five would be epoch defining.

You and 'how would have a riot sharing all those stories that never happened.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Quite the army I'm building. A meet of us five would be epoch defining.

A meet? I'm out.

It was a good run.

[Waffdon]

I’m still waiting on Igor making an effort to come up here. And MJ to answer my drunken texts to get OOT.

[Spikey M]

If you join Team Shinners you don't have to meet people. Or bathe.

[Magic]

A snapchat video of you taking rat poison in a clubbie bog at 2:30am is hardly a golden invitation to the ball, is it.

[Giggles]

You need an important man of the people to make such a gathering happen, and he's taken.

[Bam]

A snapchat video of you taking rat poison in a clubbie bog at 2:30am is hardly a golden invitation to the ball, is it.

Sounds like a mental night out though.

[Baz]

A snapchat video of you taking rat poison in a clubbie bog at 2:30am is hardly a golden invitation to the ball, is it.:D

He was crazy around Cheltenham festival week. :arry:

[Shindig]

Shindig is a pure autism cyclone but he doesn't pretend to be anything else.

Nah, I'm much more boring than that.

[igor_balis]

I’m still waiting on Igor making an effort to come up here. And MJ to answer my drunken texts to get OOT.

If you promise to give me a bed and half a bag of talcum powder I'll genuinely come up for a weekend, hombre.

[igor_balis]

:D

He was crazy around Cheltenham festival week. :arry:

Clearly I'm on the same mailing list :D

[Magic]

Clearly I'm on the same mailing list :D

I've obviously subscribed to my life in 2021.

[Spikey M]

1123161876345565190?s=19

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's not wrong.

[Spikey M]

I'm in the wrong thread though.

Fuck it. It lives here now.

[Magic]

Another didn't happen scandal.

[igor_balis]

I've never made anything on here you little wanker

[Magic]

Nothing says 'rattled' more than an accusatory, aggressive Facebook message. The denial is palpable.

[Waffdon]

If you promise to give me a bed and half a bag of talcum powder I'll genuinely come up for a weekend, hombre.

I can’t offer a bed but I’m sure MJ could sort something out. X

[Mazuuurk]

Yeah his ex wife's one is available now. Check with her.

Not sure who wins and who loses there.

[Magic]

Lol my whore wife just called to "LET ME KNOW" that she's seeing someone. I am not at all surprised by this, was just confused as to why she decided to tell me on a Friday morning whilst I'm working.

Then the real reason came out, which was "just in case Amber mentions something". I lost my shit two-fold:

1) How dare she even think about introducing any cunt to my child only 5 months after I moved out
2) How dare she even think about bringing any cunt round to my fucking house

Absolute fucking cunt. I made myself quite clear: no man sets foot in my fucking house.

[Ian]

It sounds like it's a bit late for that.

[SincereTheRebel]

How long until the divorce is signed and dleivered?

[Magic]

It sounds like it's a bit late for that.

I can't assume, whether it sounds like it or not.

I didn't mention it beforehand because I thought the cunt would have the common decency to give me a bit of respect. I moved out so my daughter could keep her bedroom and have as little disruption as possible, not so she could bring cunts back to my house. What a selfish fucking whore. Let's remember as well the event that caused me to move out.

[SvN]

I bet it's the kickboxer.

[Magic]

How long until the divorce is signed and dleivered?

Fuck knows, not something I've thought about. I'm not married and haven't been since the day I left as far as I'm concerned. Getting the house sold is my only priority.

[Magic]

I bet it's the kickboxer.

This I hadn't considered. Better get on the blower and retract my demands.

[Lewis]

Move back in to spite her.

[SincereTheRebel]

I watched a TV show before where not only did the women move her new man into her house while she was still married. She had the new man wearing the old man's clothes.

[Magic]

Move back in to spite her.

I think that would be spiting myself.

[Giggles]

Once she moves him in and they get comfy she'll shaft you on selling the house too.

[SvN]

It will be under the pretence that she doesn't want to uproot the kid as well.

[Magic]

Never, ever get married lads.

[Baz]

Nah, just don’t marry your one.

[7om]

This is something you're going to have to get used to though, Magic. Unless she settles down immediately with one geezer, there could be a few blokes who she ends up bringing back.

[Magic]

This is something you're going to have to get used to though, Magic. Unless she settles down immediately with one geezer, there could be a few blokes who she ends up bringing back.

How is it something I'll have to get used to when it sells at the start of Sept?

[SvN]

I think he means the fact that your wife will have men around your daughter.

[Spikey M]

Which surely is the bigger issue, rather than their presence around the bricks you own?

[Giggles]

How is it something I'll have to get used to when it sells at the start of Sept?

If it sells. I'm not sure if it's changed but there's probably fuck all you can do if she decides to sit tight until the child is 18.

[Magic]

I'm totally fine with her doing what she wants (that includes moving on, of course), just not in what is still my house.

The house will sell immediately but we can't move out until 2nd Sept when mortgage finishes.

[SincereTheRebel]

Bring your new ting back to your house.

[Manc]

She's definitely sucked fresh cock in your abode.

[mugbull]

Your reaction is completely unreasonable on both counts, lol

[Giggles]

Your reaction is completely unreasonable on both counts, lol

Like fuck it is.

[Magic]

Your reaction is completely unreasonable on both counts, lol

Please go on.

[Spikey M]

I'm confused that the 'IT'S MY HOUSE' angle is at the forefront of your reaction. It doesn't seem a major deal to me. She lives there, so she does shit there.

I would be focusing on, and be majorly pissed off about, her having introduced my kid to some bloke she's just started seeing. What if it doesn't work out, is she going to be introducing every cunt she meets to her? A kid doesn't need that instability in their life and it's not exactly a great example to be setting.

[Magic]

Of course, but if nobody is in the house there's nobody to meet. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

[mugbull]

1) How dare she even think about introducing any cunt to my child only 5 months after I moved out


This is absurd, how could she avoid doing that? And why would you get so angry? 5 months, 9 months, a year, eventually it’s gonna happen.

I still don’t understand why you moved out of your own house and let her stay though. That seems pretty dumb, and it’s only gonna make your reactions to everything else a lot worse, knowing she’s in your house fucking other guys.

[Magic]

I wouldn't expect a childless young adult to understand any decisions I make.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This is absurd, how could she avoid doing that? And why would you get so angry? 5 months, 9 months, a year, eventually it’s gonna happen.

I still don’t understand why you moved out of your own house and let her stay though. That seems pretty dumb, and it’s only gonna make your reactions to everything else a lot worse, knowing she’s in your house fucking other guys.

So his daughter didn't have to uproot yet.

Kid has just seen her parents split so you don't want to then add moving so soon after. It was the right move tbf to Magic.

[Spikey M]

This is absurd, how could she avoid doing that? And why would you get so angry? 5 months, 9 months, a year, eventually it’s gonna happen.

I still don’t understand why you moved out of your own house and let her stay though. That seems pretty dumb, and it’s only gonna make your reactions to everything else a lot worse, knowing she’s in your house fucking other guys.

She has admitted to having 'just started seeing him'. You don't introduce a kid, who is just getting used to their parents having split up, to every Tom, Dick and Harry you give access to your muff. You wait until it's atleast a little bit serious.

[phonics]

I think not introducing your infant child to blokes that you can't (hopefully) have been seeing for that long/don't know how serious it is, is considered pretty normal behavior. Magics not expressing it properly but it's totally reasonable.

[Giggles]

This is absurd, how could she avoid doing that? And why would you get so angry? 5 months, 9 months, a year, eventually it’s gonna happen.

I still don’t understand why you moved out of your own house and let her stay though. That seems pretty dumb, and it’s only gonna make your reactions to everything else a lot worse, knowing she’s in your house fucking other guys.

He doesn't know what sort of nonce this cunt is. And even if he's legit in that respect, how many cunts is she going to trawl in front of the child? How long before one is a bit dodgy?

[Magic]

I think not introducing your infant child to blokes that you can't (hopefully) have been seeing for that long/don't know how serious it is, is considered pretty normal behavior. Magics not expressing it properly but it's totally reasonable.

The fact she was so blasé about it makes me think she's been fucking whoever it is for considerably longer.

[Magic]

Also you were all right, and have been for many years. I'm sorry and angry I didn't listen.

[Giggles]

Did you find out if it was the boxer lad she was seeing before?

[phonics]

Also you were all right, and have been for many years. I'm sorry and angry I didn't listen.

The hiding money thing was a dead giveaway in hindsight.

[Magic]

Did you find out if it was the boxer lad she was seeing before?

I don't know who it is and I'm trying not to care, but I hope they both die in a fire.

[Magic]

The hiding money thing was a dead giveaway in hindsight.

Along with everything else. Fucking psycho and I don't think she's acting in the best interest of my daughter.

[mugbull]

I wouldn't expect a childless young adult to understand any decisions I make.

Yeah I know, but short of the new guy climbing up a rope ladder to the bedroom window it seems impossible to prevent your daughter from being introduced to him

[Pen]

It really isn’t. It’s pretty standard behaviour.

[mugbull]

How though? He walks in the front door, girl sees him, presumably he says hi my name is ____ or something.

[Offshore Toon]

How though? He walks in the front door, girl sees him, presumably he says hi my name is ____ or something.
She could see somebody whilst the daughter is with Magic/parents at the other bloke's place and then if it got serious they could think about introducing.

It might not seem like a big deal to you, but this could be something that sticks with the kid forever and thus all precautions should be taken.

[Spikey M]

How though? He walks in the front door, girl sees him, presumably he says hi my name is ____ or something.

She goes to school and, presumably, to bed early. It's really not difficult. I had a thing with a single mum years back. I saw her for about 6 weeks and never met the kid.

[Bartholomert]

Lol my whore wife just called to "LET ME KNOW" that she's seeing someone. I am not at all surprised by this, was just confused as to why she decided to tell me on a Friday morning whilst I'm working.

Then the real reason came out, which was "just in case Amber mentions something". I lost my shit two-fold:

1) How dare she even think about introducing any cunt to my child only 5 months after I moved out
2) How dare she even think about bringing any cunt round to my fucking house

Absolute fucking cunt. I made myself quite clear: no man sets foot in my fucking house.

This is literally the stuff of nightmares. And I honestly do believe that women are very susceptible to change, regardless of how "wisely" you choose a partner. I've seen many "good girls" suddenly develop an interest in "exploring themselves" later in life, and "party girls" later settle down and behave in an extremely moral and loyal way and look after their children very well.

Sure there are probabilities which probably correlate with certain background characteristics, but it can be extremely unpredictable at times.


I think not introducing your infant child to blokes that you can't (hopefully) have been seeing for that long/don't know how serious it is, is considered pretty normal behavior. Magics not expressing it properly but it's totally reasonable.

Agreed. Magic is very justifiably angry with the situation. It's just depraved in its selfishness and inconsideration for her child and the wishes of the father of that child.

[phonics]

Yeah I know, but short of the new guy climbing up a rope ladder to the bedroom window it seems impossible to prevent your daughter from being introduced to him

It's called not having him over before bedtime.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's called not having him over before bedtime.

Or meeting at his house, or meeting when the child is with Magic/someone else etc etc.

Mug, you're being a mong.

[mugbull]

I'll admit i have no idea how this shit works, it just seemed odd to me that Magic would get so viscerally angry about this new man stepping foot in his house and making eye contact with his daughter

[Spikey M]

I mean, it just isn't fucking odd. Have you ever loved someone? It's pretty shitty when that person moves on after you've split up. Now factor in having a child with that person, and said child is getting to know their new partner. Are they the sort of person you want around them? You have no idea. Are they going to try to replace you? Are they going to play games to try to keep you away?

Jesus Mok. This is empathy 101 right here. If you can't understand how a father and husband might struggle with a new man coming into play after a break up, then I really don't know what to tell you.

[mugbull]

So it's more that it's misplaced frustration?

[Spikey M]

No, it's fear, frustration, apprehension, worry, regret and probably a whole tonne of other emotions. His wife and child have a new man in their life. Magic doesn't know the extent of it or even the blokes first name. How are you struggling with this?

[John]

For fuck sake, MugBull. This is genuinely embarrassing stuff. It takes a special effort to be the biggest wanker in a conversation that involves Mert talking about female loyalty, but you've shat a hole straight through the bed here.

[mugbull]

No, it's fear, frustration, apprehension, worry, regret and probably a whole tonne of other emotions. His wife and child have a new man in their life. Magic doesn't know the extent of it or even the blokes first name. How are you struggling with this?

You’re right. I’ve changed my mind on this. Though the anger seems like the overriding emotion here which is never a good thing

[mugbull]

For fuck sake, MugBull. This is genuinely embarrassing stuff. It takes a special effort to be the biggest wanker in a conversation that involves Mert talking about female loyalty, but you've shat a hole straight through the bed here.

No one will ever love you sorry bro xx

[Giggles]

You’re right. I’ve changed my mind on this. Though the anger seems like the overriding emotion here which is never a good thing

The anger will go, but at this stage it's all still too raw with too much changing.

[Waffdon]

I was shagging my Missus for 4/5 months before being introduced to her kids and never came close to bumping into them.

Step Da’ Shane :cool:

[phonics]

So it's more that it's misplaced frustration?

No it's his child being raised by some rando that his ex-wife shacked up with.

[Magic]

I can't vent to family either as they'll judge and I don't want her to feel unwelcome for Amber's sake. I know this is a bit holier than thou but I'm aware of every single unpleasant feeling that comes with a breakup from a child perspective. I will never have that for my child.

[Giggles]

No it's his child being raised by some rando that his ex-wife shacked up with.

And another issue is that his wife will be at the stage where all she wants is for Magic to not exist and to get on with life with what she sees as her new family, so any right thinking will go out the window. She'll come round and realise a child's father is important, even if she stays with this lad, but it'll be a long road unfortunately. It's all just stages in the whole process even though that doesn't help mj much now.

[Lewis]

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/OblongNauticalChrysomelid-small.gif

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

ffs.

[7om]

I fear you're expecting reasonable actions on her behalf, Magic and she seems to be a generally unreasonable person. If she's as much of a twat as you have made out over the years, then her introducing your daughter to every guy she screws sounds about par for the course. Which may be something you have to come to terms with at some point as I don't think you have any way of changing the situation.

[Magic]

I fear you're expecting reasonable actions on her behalf, Magic and she seems to be a generally unreasonable person. If she's as much of a twat as you have made out over the years, then her introducing your daughter to every guy she screws sounds about par for the course. Which may be something you have to come to terms with at some point as I don't think you have any way of changing the situation.

Ultimately this is correct and it's destroying me. I can't fathom that her behaviour is in her own self interest.

[SincereTheRebel]

Scuba diving didn't go that well lads. I was expecting something ive never tasted before, but it was just like everything else ive ever had. It's all the same.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is that code for sticking sticking your tongue in an arsehole?

[Spikey M]

Scuba diving didn't go that well lads. I was expecting something ive never tasted before, but it was just like everything else ive ever had. It's all the same.

You didn't kiss them, right?

[SincereTheRebel]

Is that code for sticking sticking your tongue in an arsehole?

No


You didn't kiss them, right?

No

[Spikey M]

How much was it? Where did you do to dive? What diving exercises did you carry out?

[Shindig]

He kicked her tyres before he set off.

[Giggles]

Euphemism or wrong thread?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Scuba%20Diving

The Act of a man placing one testicle over each nostril of a girl. Then after each testicle is securely in place, placing their cock firmly in her mouth. thus completing the scuba dive.

[Giggles]

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Scuba%20Diving

The Act of a man placing one testicle over each nostril of a girl. Then after each testicle is securely in place, placing their cock firmly in her mouth. thus completing the scuba dive.

So if Sincere is talking about doing the tasting then who's cock was in his mouth?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Spikey's, he wanted a kebab.

[igor_balis]

Despite all my other perversions I really do not get the appeal of any sort of ball play. Too sensitive.

Me and my work pal agreed, which surprised two female colleagues as they said they'd always received positive feedback. Is it us two being vanilla losers, or have the lads who've shagged my female colleagues just been polite?

[SvN]

Yeah I'm in agreement. Anyone fondling my balls just feels at best uncomfortable and at worst painful. A girl tried sucking on them once and it was fucking agonising.

[SincereTheRebel]

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Scuba%20Diving

The Act of a man placing one testicle over each nostril of a girl. Then after each testicle is securely in place, placing their cock firmly in her mouth. thus completing the scuba dive.

:D

I didnt even know that was even a thing. I just use it as a secret word which Is my version of a llama in the basement

[mo]

Yeah I'm in agreement. Anyone fondling my balls just feels at best uncomfortable and at worst painful. A girl tried sucking on them once and it was fucking agonising.

It definitely requires a gentle touch. Stroking of I find quite pleasurable but anything more hands on is a no-no.

[Lewis]

With small, almost child-like hands.

[Spikey M]

Why's Mahow there?

[Lewis]

Not deformed.

[Shindig]

The time's rife for Hammer to come back and tell us how a housewife strangled his knackers.

[Giggles]

Hammer must be up as far as the parties where they drill down your japs and cheese grate your arse cheeks at this stage. Assuming he wanted to move up from bondage and kids.

[Magic]

Going round to my house tonight to find out just how big a cunt my ex wife really is.

She's a manipulative, narcasistic, self absorbed whore.

[Boydy]

What do you mean you're going round? Like going to watch to see who this new fella is or something?

[Baz]

https://dg31sz3gwrwan.cloudfront.net/screen/71730/1_iphone.jpg

[Lewis]

:lol:

[bruhnaldo]

wtf is scuba diving? oral?

[Pepe]

Somebody get the van before he does something stupid.

[Pleb]

wtf is scuba diving? oral?
Must be anal related iirc.

[Pepe]

You two need to keep up. Letting the board down.

[Magic]

20 years lads. See you on the other side.

[mugbull]

Sup?

[mugbull]

Don't do anything retarded.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, somebody get Waffles on the case.

[Waffdon]

I’ve already messaged him.

[Lewis]

Sounds like she's taken him back.

[Pepe]

Didn't follow my advice, the cunt. :nono:

[-james-]

Oh Christ.

[-james-]

Can't have this place ending up on bbc news ffs.

[Waffdon]

He’s not dead. Yet anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pity the DC who will have to read the whole of this forum for evidence.

[Magic]

I’ve already messaged him.

You phoned me on messenger which I had to explain was someone off the internet. Oh but not like that it's a bloke. Oh lord. Thankfully the claw hammer explained it much better.

[Magic]

No we just had a chat. The aim was to advise and highlight just how selfish a cunt she is. I was shocked at how little she'd considered, telling herself half truths and blatant falsifications of reality to help justify her actions.

So nothing was really achieved but I am fully prepared now to be hurt many times over, and not be taken by surprise. The question is around my daughter. The one thing I thought was in safe hands.

I will explain more tomorrow.

[-james-]

You phoned me on messenger which I had to explain was someone off the internet. Oh but not like that it's a bloke. Oh lord. Thankfully the claw hammer explained it much better.

:lol:

[Magic]

And I did out of courtesy and respect ask her not to have anyone back to our mutual family home. She agreed, not sure if it'll be upheld. Still to decide on what furniture goes where, I don't want to have to factor whether or not its had another man's Penis on it.

[Waffdon]

Lol, I didn’t mean that. It didn’t even ring on my end just said ‘connecting’. Glad I won’t need to go to a funeral though.

[mugbull]

Ok you can ignore my PM then Magic

[Magic]

Lol, I didn’t mean that. It didn’t even ring on my end just said ‘connecting’. Glad I won’t need to go to a funeral though.

Well you will, it'll be your own. Probably this year.

[Waffdon]

Nae doubt. Be some after party though.

[Magic]

Ok you can ignore my PM then Magic

Please don't act like that wasn't my default position anyway.

[Pepe]

Share it.

[Magic]

I meant ignoring it not the context.

[Pepe]

I know.

[Magic]

:(

[Magic]

It was basically Mokkers telling me to stop being a bitch about another bloke using my microwave.

[mugbull]

I thought you were gonna go full Kim by Eminem.

Glad to have been wrong though.

[Magic]

I just don't have that in my locker. I got exasperated only once when I felt she was dismissing my feelings but other than that it was a good conversation for me anyway. I called her out on the manipulation as well which she didn't like which makes me think it was the right call and that's exactly what she was doing intentionally or otherswise.

Still expecting a raft of shit decisions but I did float the idea of joint custody and she didn't like it one bit. A card I'll keep up my sleeve for now.

[7om]

How often do you get to see your daughter?

[Magic]

At the moment fairly often, just not staying over as she has to sleep in my bed.

So she agreed to not let any 3rd party man in the house
She is still flirting with the idea of introducing despite my massive concerns, unsure of what will happen, I just know if it does it'll fuck my kid up
She wants to move nearer her mum which is miles away from the school and my family
She potentially was looking at moving her school

I countered with well she could stay with me as I'll be near the school and she shat her pants that I'd be majority custodian. Is this best for our child? Not sure. I know she is a great mum but moving home, and school, and area, is just far too big a change that would have profound effects. Hopefully it won't come to that but who knows.

At least I'm under no illusions she was acting in her own self interest, hopefully she's done a bit of self reflection but I doubt it. I am definitely prepared to challenge this shit head on now unlike before, no assumptions. Proud of myself.

[SincereTheRebel]

Dont let her get the best of you magic. Stand on your square and do what is best for your daughter first, and then yourself.

[bruhnaldo]

So she's gonna uproot your child's entire life just so she can fuck a random she met a few months ago at best.

I hate this bitch

[Pepe]

Is moving schools that big of a deal?

I understand Magic wanting his daughter to stay close to him, but I fail to see the DEVASTATING effect of changing schools.

[bruhnaldo]

I fail to see how moving the kid away from all of Magic's family and all of the kid's little friends just so CuntEx can introduce a new man into the kid's life every 2 weeks when she gets tossed out like the trash by previous lovers is going to be a POSITIVE, personally.

[Bartholomert]

I just don't have that in my locker. I got exasperated only once when I felt she was dismissing my feelings but other than that it was a good conversation for me anyway. I called her out on the manipulation as well which she didn't like which makes me think it was the right call and that's exactly what she was doing intentionally or otherswise.

Still expecting a raft of shit decisions but I did float the idea of joint custody and she didn't like it one bit. A card I'll keep up my sleeve for now.

FYI you being assertive and setting boundaries probably made her kinda wet. That's all you really needed to do from the beginning anyways, the average woman needs and respects a man who (objectively and non-abusively) keeps her honest.


At the moment fairly often, just not staying over as she has to sleep in my bed.

So she agreed to not let any 3rd party man in the house
She is still flirting with the idea of introducing despite my massive concerns, unsure of what will happen, I just know if it does it'll fuck my kid up
She wants to move nearer her mum which is miles away from the school and my family
She potentially was looking at moving her school

I countered with well she could stay with me as I'll be near the school and she shat her pants that I'd be majority custodian. Is this best for our child? Not sure. I know she is a great mum but moving home, and school, and area, is just far too big a change that would have profound effects. Hopefully it won't come to that but who knows.

At least I'm under no illusions she was acting in her own self interest, hopefully she's done a bit of self reflection but I doubt it. I am definitely prepared to challenge this shit head on now unlike before, no assumptions. Proud of myself.

Proud of you too tbh, that was some man shit.

[Magic]

Oh my god new info. Will disclose later.

[Boydy]

Stop being such a tease.

[SincereTheRebel]

Oh my god new info. Will disclose later.

Do you have a youtube channel? document your struggle in a streaming format, even if it's just audio.

[Baz]

My cousin split up with her fella about a year or so ago. They have 3 kids. The eldest kid had her communion (?) this weekend and the dad went, as did my cousins new fella. The kids call the new guy ‘dad’ and their actual dad gets called by his first name. :cab:

Get ready for that one, Magic.

[SincereTheRebel]

My cousin split up with her fella about a year or so ago. They have 3 kids. The eldest kid had her communion (?) this weekend and the dad went, as did my cousins new fella. The kids call the new guy ‘dad’ and their actual dad gets called by his first name. :cab:

Get ready for that one, Magic.

If the new dad is playing the correct role. You can't complain. Magic needs to make sure he is in his child's life and make sure that doesn't happen if he believes it

[Magic]

Update 1:

So, after all that yesterday I briefed my step-mum as she heard the shouty call on Friday. I kind of finished this conversation with "Well at least I found out when I did."

Her reply was "Yeah it's just really horrible the way she did it"

My reply was "Did what? I found her phone and looked through it"

*silence*

So it turns out she'd engineered that. She left her phone in the morning knowing I'd go through it after the paranoia of the past two weeks, but when she phoned me and asked if I'd found it I told her I'd get dad to phone it. He wasn't supposed to come round, so she panicked and came back for it. Weird but nothing untoward given she's fucking obsessed with it. That night, she left it on the living room sofa knowing I'd check it when she went to make dinner. In hindsight, the messages "Let's have an affair" and "Lol ok should be good" really don't stack up. So why did she engineer this? This unnecessarily makes her look like a cunt rather than just telling me to fuck off.

Why did she engineer it 3 days before my life changing appointment with the psychiatrist? I was so enthusiastic and positive about it. Why destroy my life then? Why not see if I got better? She knew the effect that would have on me, I almost did decide to take my own life the day before that appointment.

I could never put 2+2 and get 4. Even applying her selfish cunt framework of 'every action for herself' it still didn't make sense. Until that bit of info. Now the cogs start to go...

[Magic]

So, she had it all planned. I always maintained my life was guillotined, I had no idea the night before that would be the last time we shared a bed together. The last night I'd be able to tuck my daughter in and kiss her on the head in her own bed.

She did. She knew it all. She manipulated me and convinced me not to tell anyone about these messages, for the sake of Amber. She convinced my entire family it had broken down and I'd taken the decision to move out. She convinced me I was bipolar, or had split personality, and I was worth absolutely fucking nothing. She convinced me my daughter would be better without me. She cored me out, leaving me empty. All our friends thinking I drove her to try and escape by being forced to arrange a hypothetical affair that didn't take place and was in all likelihood a series of messages from a friend who she just changed their contact details in the phone.

She also manipulated me to pity her, to give her every single allowance in the book. To pay for almost everything, and continue to pay over and above for extras. And the above highlights how she'd manipulated me to stay away and to leave her to it. To make a series of decisions that I shouldn't be involved in because of my fragile mental state. I need to focus on myself, right? I completely agreed she should have majority custody and that I'd never take it to court because of what I went through as a child.

[Kikó]

She sounds like a horrible horrible fucker. Well rid.

[Offshore Toon]

It amazes me how people can get into situations like this. I just can't see how I would ever get so close to somebody without recognising the red flags, but at the same time I think it's rather arrogant to believe that I'm incapable of falling victim to such a situation, though that also in turn probably makes me less susceptible.

Did you not at any point think she might be a lunatic, Magic?

[Magic]

Now it starts to get really sinister.

Her insistence on being heavily involved still with my family.
Convincing my family to be nice to her.
Her wanting to come to my gran's 80th.
Her wanting to come to my little sister's 18th.
Her specifically telling me she's leaving the above as a 'friend' is picking her up (I didn't ask, she told me that).
Her telling everyone she's really upset and cries herself to sleep and still loves me.
Her telling everyone she's broke and can't afford food.
Her telling everyone she can't bear the thought of a step-mum for Amber, yet introducing someone so soon
Her telling me that she hasn't even been on a date with this guy, he's never met Amber, he's never been in the house
Her telling me it's really serious and that she'll judge when the time is right
Her telling me she's lonely in the house and wouldn't mind someone coming round from a cup of tea
Her being so specifically clear about taking the bed

So in conclusion:

She's been having an affair for a considerable amount of time, before any of this happened
She panicked when I was so positive about my appointment, she can't dump me after I've been diagnosed as it'll come across as cruel
She set up a hypothetical affair, to mask the real affair, so I would feel good about catching her JUST IN TIME and reacting as such, and taking the blame for causing her to seek an escape
I am totally passive, and allow her everything as predicted. Being amicable and racked with shame and guilt.
I focus on myself, get my own house in order and trust her entirely to bring up Amber on the premise she has the same outlook as me, all the while she's probably fucking this twat in my house whilst Amber is asleep or staying with me
Also meanwhile, she's making arrangements to move to the other side of town beside her cunt family, making enquiries to the schools there and seeking legal advice
Amber meets him (by mistake or not, who knows I will never ask her), and again she panics and calls me just before work on Friday worried that Amber might spill the beans. One can assume it was during that week she was first introduced. I reckon it might have been during the Monday when she was off school.
And here we are.

What she didn't expect was me growing a spine and willing to fight for what is right. She didn't expect me to recognise her emotional torture. She didn't expect me to discard her crocodile tears and insist she strips the emotion away and continues the discussion. She didn't expect me to go for joint custody. And she certainly doesn't know I know she's a lying, cheating, disgusting, psychopathic whore.

I will be seeking legal advice on custody, I want the full royal flush to deploy if it comes to it. I want the house sold, the money split, the divorce completed. And only then will I let her know with one sentence how much of a cunt she is:

"I know exactly what you did".

[Magic]

It amazes me how people can get into situations like this. I just can't see how I would ever get so close to somebody without recognising the red flags, but at the same time I think it's rather arrogant to believe that I'm incapable of falling victim to such a situation, though that also in turn probably makes me less susceptible.

Did you not at any point think she might be a lunatic, Magic?

Offy, like I said, she'd convinced me I was a terrible worthless human, incapable of reasoned thought. For years I read self help books, embarrassed myself on here and defended her honour. I publicly humiliated myself whilst she, in the background, tricked me in to doing her every beck and call.

I didn't spend any time on myself, I hated myself. I sought help after suicidal thoughts, and ended up on anti-depressants. I am difficult to live with, so when the ADD diagnosis was very close, she chose to play chicken with the father of her child. I was so, so close to topping myself, but decided to see if I did have it or not. Had it been inconclusive, I'd have given up.

If she is willing to push me to the brink of that, then is there anything she isn't capable of.

[Lewis]

Are you bashing all this out on a phone? Fair play.

[Magic]

Nah, on my laptop. In a hotel in Oban for a shite training course.

[Offshore Toon]

Offy, like I said, she'd convinced me I was a terrible worthless human, incapable of reasoned thought. For years I read self help books, embarrassed myself on here and defended her honour. I publicly humiliated myself whilst she, in the background, tricked me in to doing her every beck and call.

I didn't spend any time on myself, I hated myself. I sought help after suicidal thoughts, and ended up on anti-depressants. I am difficult to live with, so when the ADD diagnosis was very close, she chose to play chicken with the father of her child. I was so, so close to topping myself, but decided to see if I did have it or not. Had it been inconclusive, I'd have given up.

If she is willing to push me to the brink of that, then is there anything she isn't capable of.
Yeah, I'm just curious as to when it began. Like, at what point did it go from normal relationship (which it must have been at one point) to her slowly manipulating you. Did she ever truly care about you? She must be intelligent to be this calculated, but also calculated to the point of being a psychopath, but surely you'd look into the eyes of somebody you're in a relationship with at some point and think "hmm, bit of a nutjob" before the altar.

[Boydy]

I'm not sure I even follow this any more. So she was having an affair already which you didn't know about but then made it look like she was having one so yous would split up?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm not sure I even follow this any more. So she was having an affair already which you didn't know about but then made it look like she was having one so yous would split up?

Seems that way.

I assume the affair was with the guy she wanted/has already let the child meet with. We thought it was early in their relationship but it seems like it was not.

[Giggles]

I'm not sure I even follow this any more. So she was having an affair already which you didn't know about but then made it look like she was having one so yous would split up?

She pulled the plaster off quick as she was afraid of looking too much of a cunt had it came out later. She seems to put the biggest importance into how she comes across to others in all of this.

[Magic]

Yeah, I'm just curious as to when it began. Like, at what point did it go from normal relationship (which it must have been at one point) to her slowly manipulating you. Did she ever truly care about you? She must be intelligent to be this calculated, but also calculated to the point of being a psychopath, but surely you'd look into the eyes of somebody you're in a relationship with at some point and think "hmm, bit of a nutjob" before the altar.

When we first started arguing before marriage I guess. I was very insecure and couldn't believe I'd got a girl like this so straight away I was betad. This got worse as time went on. Of course if I was thinking clearly I could recognise horrible behaviour but deep down I knew I was to blame every time. And this causes a significant, overbearing feeling of guilt and shame, followed by remorse, and thus the circle is complete and ongoing.

[Magic]

I'm not sure I even follow this any more. So she was having an affair already which you didn't know about but then made it look like she was having one so yous would split up?

Yes, because her breaking up with her newly diagnosed husband and leaving him in his time of need looks terrible.

Also being found out having a proper affair looks terrible and would have caused significant harm in the shape of my reaction to this.

Not so bad? Creating a fake affair and allowing your husband to 'prevent' it happening by catching it as it was being arranged, and thus placating me and thanking my lucky stars she didn't actually do anything, allows her to blame me for forcing her in to an escape, and isn't so bad that she could convince me not to tell anyone about it.

She gets everything she wants. An embarrassed ex-husband she can control easily, full custody of her daughter, an ex-family that will still welcome her like it's business as usual, round the clock babysitters, the house, big maintenance payments, doing what she wants.

It is extremely clever and well thought out, and of course hides the real, horrible truth.

[Boydy]

That is wild.

[Lewis]

Your post implies that your step-mum knew this and only revealed it by accident. What? Is that how you worked this out?

[SincereTheRebel]

This is some really fucked up behaviour. It should be punishable with jail time. She is completely toxic.

[Magic]

Your post implies that your step-mum knew this and only revealed it by accident. What? Is that how you worked this out?

Yes, my step-mum is also a whore thrice-married (each time an affair) and her and the bitch got on well. I guess no shame to no shame wasn't a risk for her. This was revealed days after when she went up with a bottle of wine. So she's known for months, and told my dad and on his advice didn't tell me as it would have destroyed my progress.

My dad has been very cold to her and I've never known why, but I do now. And yes, she'd assumed I'd found out at some point.

It was the missing link, the one big of logic that just wasn't there previously.

[Lewis]

Maybe Mert was right about running off to a holiday resort.

[Pepe]

The real 4d chess move will come when it is revealed that she did it all for Magic in some sort of Shutter Island scenario.

'I did it so that you can be my alpha.'

[Pepe]

Wait a second, your father also knew about this shit? GTFO.

[Magic]

I've become self aware and capable of free thought.

An unexpected and dangerous development.

[Magic]

Wait a second, your father also knew about this shit? GTFO.

Only that she set me up to find the messages, not why or within context.

[Bartholomert]

What the actual fuck.

[Bartholomert]

Fuck that dude dip out and take a one way trip to Alanya for a year and bang some Ukrainians. Unplug. You need it.

[Bartholomert]

Who’s the original affair guy? Hell exists for these sorts of people...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Imagine telling your daughter you wont be able to see her for a year because you're going to 'bang some Ukrainians/devils'.

[7om]

Fucking hell, this reads like some shit Harlan Coben novel. Genuinely unbelievable that she's manufactured such a deep and sinister narrative against you, Magic and the only saving grace here is that you're still young enough to bail on her and restart your life again.

I just hope she doesn't drag the kid away and you're left with no access. I don't know how it works legally but I'd be expoloring every possible avenue of getting increased access / full custody of your daughter.

[niko_cee]

And to think, they've just taken Jeremy Kyle off the air.

[Ian]

Maybe they read this thread.

[Spikey M]

Baz's reddit must be bumping right now.

[Baz]

Baz's reddit must be bumping right now.Nah. The “found kickboxer nudes on my wife’s phone” posts were posted in ‘funny & sad’ but Magic’s lost his humour. :(

[Shindig]

This seems like way too much effort to dump a bloke.

[Giggles]

This seems like way too much effort to dump a bloke.

It is if you've a spine.

[Shindig]

Even so, pointing him out to the affair 'so he can have that victory' is dodgy territory. Unless she doesn't want the bairn.

[Magic]

I mentioned the divorce today in terms of paperwork and costs. Waterworks again, which I just glanced over. Loving it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If there's one good thing to arrive from finding out the extent of her controlling, underhand behaviour it's that knowledge is power, and you can now use that knowledge to (as ruthlessly as you can bear) arrive as close as possible to your desired outcomes. As long as you know what those desired outcomes are.

In other words, she no longer has the upper hand previously afforded to her by the fact that she's a bad person and you aren't.

[Lewis]

This is like the end of Shawshank Redemption.

[Magic]

I'm the Kaiser Sose of the relationship thread.

[Lewis]

I think that's her.

[Magic]

Is there a film where the main character just wins everything then it ends?

[Lewis]

Frank Lampard the Movie.

[Shindig]

Is there a film where the main character just wins everything then it ends?

Downfall.

[Bam]

Think I preferred the Albanian mafia story tbf.

[Manc]

Can anyone provide a brief summary of the ramblings? I'm fascinated but tired.

[Bam]

She tried to have him over because he's mental but it hasn't worked.....Apparently.

[Shindig]

She put the dinosaur bones there to trick him.

[Spikey M]

Jet fuel can't melt hope's and dreams.

[Bartholomert]

Tbh I still think if Magic hopped on some roids and started very publicly banging some 18-20 year olds, he could probably have his family life back within 18 months. She seems emotionally unstable and flighty enough that it would work.

We can have a talk when I visit Leeds this fall.

[Manc]

Slaying sloots.

[mugbull]

Are you new here?

[Spikey M]

Don't be such a Beta.

[randomlegend]

He quite clearly has a personality disorder.

[phonics]

He’s just massively insecure and tries to make up for it by imitating what he thinks is ‘alpha’

[mugbull]

I doubt he’s that insecure anymore (no more than any of us anyway), but his way of dealing with insecurity in adolescence molded his world view into what it is now, hence the endless pursuit of acquisition.

[Giggles]

He quite clearly has a personality disorder.

They're ten a penny here in fairness. He's just a twat.

[randomlegend]

No, he's not. He's got something properly wrong with him.

[Magic]

Had to have the conversation with the estate agent today at the kitchen table, on which was a lovely bunch of flowers from her boyfriend. Has this bitch no shame.

[Baz]

Sounds like she’s upgraded.

Has she lost 10-15 lbs recently?

[Magic]

Sounds like she’s upgraded.

Has she lost 10-15 lbs recently?

Yes she was going to the gym before but its dedication now. Still, that's similar to me so doesn't bear any relevance.

[Boydy]

Yeah, she was 'going to the gym'.

[SvN]

Maybe she was saying "I'm off to Jim's for a workout".

[Baz]

I suppose someone has to feed the llama.

[Pleb]

Someone at work who I like very much just called me "Honey", is that a good sign? :|

[Spikey M]

It means they have their bus pass.

[Magic]

Someone at work who I like very much just called me "Honey", is that a good sign? :|

Yeah age is relevant.

[Kikó]

How old is she/he?

[Giggles]

It means she's copped you're after her and will have you running around like a twat now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Honey is never good.

[Mike]

She’ll be calling you mate soon.

[Magic]

I get called honey from a real honey badger of a South African woman customer when she's pissed off, if that helps.

Condescending bitch. That's like me calling her doll.

[igor_balis]

aye i can't read honey without imagining a middle aged american woman with a "let me talk to the manager" haircut saying it

[Pleb]

Yeah age is relevant.


How old is she/he?
Probably mid to late twenties iirc.

I hardly see her anyway as she's tills and I'm just a Warehouse colleague :sherlock:

[Lewis]

Shoebox time.

[igor_balis]

Probably mid to late twenties iirc.

I hardly see her anyway as she's tills and I'm just a Warehouse colleague :sherlock:

When I worked Asda, one of your lot shagged a till lady in the warehouse. She was fucking massive, but still.

[Pleb]

Shoebox time?

That's a new one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The shoebox never fails.

[Spikey M]

Probably mid to late twenties iirc.

I hardly see her anyway as she's tills and I'm just a Warehouse colleague :sherlock:

Honey is fine from a pensioner. Anyone with their own teeth is patronising the shit out of you.

I also love the way that post is worded "she's tills and I'm just a Warehouse colleague". One day, son. One day you'll smash through that glass ceiling.

[phonics]

https://i.imgur.com/Frn6S82.png

[Magic]

Read in Waff's farmer accent for effect.

[Shindig]

It's like when Southern lasses get giddy when I call them pet.

[Foe]

Don't worry about it, hen.

[Magic]

I just downloaded Tinder, set it all up and my first card or whatever it is was a 22 year old model porn star. Or she looked like one. Uninstalled straight away.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Better than the first match being the ex tbf.

[Magic]

She's already got a new husband remember.