The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Magic]

LOL I'm just curious, is all. And yes I will be staying right out of it. As I say I hope that's it now and we never hear from him again. He's deleted his FB profile. He works with my father-in-law as he got him a job there. None of this makes any sense, he was in way too deep in terms of the family to pull this shit.

[wullie]

Gubbed for nothing.

[Disco]

Not for nothing, it made a good thread.

[Magic]

Plus I got some decent compo. :drool:

[Mazuuurk]

What's compo?

[Magic]

Compensation.

[Spammer]

How much did you get?

[Disco]

And where does it come from in a situation like that?

[Magic]

I got 4.5k. But my dental bills were almost 1k so = :(

It came from the government criminal compensation thing for victims of violent crime.

[Boydy]

What happened to the guy who did it?

[Magic]

I've no idea. I tried calling the court to find out but they made me feel like a weirdo by doing that 'lol cough, erm ok' when I told them I was THE VICTIM so I told them to fuck off and hung up.

[Raoul Duke]

That's mental, but posting stuff on Facebook is just attention-seeking plebbery

[Magic]

Christ the girl has gone to the police about his stalking and my sister has phoned his boss and told him everything.

1000th post. :cool:

[Mazuuurk]

Magic this is worthy of it's own, live reporting thread, I think. You have a real opportunity here.

[John]

I was hoping for some live drama on Facebook the other day when a post belonging on Jeremy Kyle appeared but it was quickly deleted and I was denied my fun.

[Mazuuurk]

Stop being a fucking Magic, John. Did you screenshot it at least?

[AE]

Was talking to potential tinder girl on the phone yesterday and she started saying "she isn't controlling" I half joked around and said "funny you say that, most the girls i've dated have said that, only to change and become controlling". She somehow came up with the conclusion that it's probably my fault for them being controlling and that it brought out some red flags.

[Magic]

Oh my. So tomorrow flirty powerful ex colleague is picking me up to go back to her flat with her sister and her smoking primary school teacher friend. We'll be there for an hour before the taxi picks us up to meet the rest of the crew at the beer festival.

This can only end well.

:eyemouth:

[simon]

Married life, eh.

:(

[Magic]

Well...that was hilariously shit. The lecturer friend was giving me looks the whole night and pulled me up to dance, I said the usual 'oh I'm rubbish at dancing lol' and she instantly went cold and sat back down and didn't look at me for about an hour. Then she dragged me up to dance again to Scottish Country Dancing shite and I said the same then she said it's fine neither can I and it was ok because she needed a partner. Then we got the taxi back and she was like 'you can get another taxi from mine' chat because the other girls lived in the opposite direction, and 'you can come up and have a cuppa, my house is a mess but it's fine' etc. To be fair I was tempted because the other girls chat was fucking shite about Tinder and dating and stuff. However I asked them if they minded dropping me off and they said no problem so I just went with that. Let her out and she never said bye or anything. What a fucking freak, no time for that shit. I'm married and have a kid so who does she think she is trying to get it on. Fuck her.

[P_3]

Bottled it. :nono:

[Giggles]

Fair play Magic.

Better when there's no witnesses.

[SvN]

Right thing to do. Just have a belting wank later while thinking about what could've been. I had a close(ish) shave at a christmas do a few years ago, and the relief I felt the next day was enourmous.

[simon]

Has anyone on here ever cheated on their wife/girlfriend?

I haven't but then I've never done a long term relationship and instead keep going on first dates. :(

I have a date on Tuesday and she seems lovely and also keen, so we'll see how that goes.

[Magic]

I never have. I'd be absolutely devastated to find out I'd been betrayed so I can't really bring myself to do it. I love flirting though just because it makes you feel good, I'd never follow it up even if there was absolutely no chance of anyone finding out.

I fully trust the wife as well, I think you have no choice otherwise you end up consumed by paranoia, fear and hate. More fool me if she does backstab me.

When I got home I went upstairs and kissed my daughter on the head, is a cheeky fuck worth losing everything?

Also if I was too drunk to control myself I definitely wouldn't be looking to shag anyone, I pride myself on performance. I've never screwed whilst being wasted.

[Benny]

Nah, not felt the need to yet. I think you've got be some sort of a wanker to do it in a long term relationship.

[Lee]

If you feel the need to fuck somebody else it's time to knock it on the head anyway. I could easily have gone back with fit accountant a few weeks back (my cock wanted me to) but you'd have to be a massive cunt to go through with it. I couldn't cope with hurting somebody that much.

Me and Lauren are genuinely on the mend now, incidentally. Very happy that I didn't choose just to end it.

[Spammer]

SvN has got the right method imo. Wouldn't ever cheat but that tactic is an important one.

Met up with my last serious girlfriend today. Hadn't seen her in 5 months or so and it was really nice. We hoped that we'd be able to be good friends again because we were close friends before we got together and lasted 3 years and we split amicably. I needed a while to get my head straight first though. Was worried about how itd be but it was really great just catching up. Feel like I've gained a friend as I thought for ages I wouldnt be able to get to that stage.

In other news, got with a lass on Friday night and seeing her for a drink on Thursday. She said after we agreed to meet that its not a date as she's not properly over her last boyfriend, so there you go.

[igor_balis]

If you feel the need to fuck somebody else it's time to knock it on the head anyway.

That's it, really. I know a guy who has been going out with the same girl since he was like 14, and he's cheated on her multiple times. Everyone knows (including people like me, a friend-of-a-friend or acquaintance at best) except the girlfriend. She's his first girlfriend, the girl he lost his virginity to, but he's constantly getting pissed and phoning up our mutual friend telling him he's going to dump her, this time he's serious, she's really annoying and stupid and they have nothing in common etc etc. Then the next day he laughs it off. Just break up with her you cunt. They'll almost certainly end up married, and he's almost certainly going to keep fucking other girls. It is fucking gross.

People who decide to have their cake and eat it must either be cowards or sociopaths. Probably both. We both went on a night out with a group of mutual friends, and he was trying to set up a girl we know with his mate that we didn't know. We only found out later that said mate had a fiance waiting for him at home. What the fuck?! I'm compulsive and a cunt, but I find it pretty easy to not fucking cheat on people. Fuck sake.

[Magic]

I personally couldn't deal with the potential of grief and being swallowed by my own paranoia waiting round every corner. That's probably a selfish reason never to cheat but does it really matter? I'm certainly not going to high horse it and say I only have eyes for one woman etc. Life is hard enough with one SWT.

[mo]

I've never cheated, but then I've never been presented with the opportunity. I still don't believe I would succumb, as I know the overwhelming feeling of guilt after the deed would consume me.

[Foe]

I struggle enough to find one girl who is agreeable to sleeping with me that I can't fathom the idea of there being two. Let alone at the same time. That ven diagram intersection must be pretty fucking small.

[Giggles]

A friend of mine who was a complete dog on his Mrs used to always say that there was no riding better than riding you shouldn't be doing. It was hard to feel sympathy at his devastation when he discovered she thought along the same lines though.

[SvN]

I had a similar experience. One of my friends would cheat on his missus every week without fail when we went out. Eventually one of her mates saw him, and she dumped him. I struggled to resist laughing in his face when the tears over pints in the pub came.

[Toby]

Everyone knows (including people like me, a friend-of-a-friend or acquaintance at best) except the girlfriend.

She probably knows as well and just doesn't want to accept they don't have a perfect relationship.

[simon]

I have a date on Tuesday and she seems lovely and also keen, so we'll see how that goes.

She's good looking, talkative and quite fiery.

All of these things are good and she said she will see me again, which is an added bonus. Think I've been on about 5 or 6 first dates this year and never got a second date out of any of them, so this is new and pleasant territory. :D

[Benny]

You've jinxed it now, you tit.

[simon]

It'll be alright. I still haven't deleted Tinder, so I can always go back and graft on that should it all end in tears.

Hey *insert name*!
How are you?

blah blah blah, you?

Yeah, I'm really good cheers. Whereabouts are you from?

:moop:

It's gotten tedious now.

[Benny]

Have you thought about trying Grindr?

[Luca]

Cheating is for cunts. Just end it.

[Giggles]

Cheating is for cunts. Just end it.

Who was that at? Benny isn't actually on Grindr.

EDIT: I think.

.

[Luca]

Who was that at? Benny isn't actually on Grindr.

EDIT: I think.

.

I should have been more clear: it's just a general view. If one is considering cheating, one should just end the relationship in question.

That being said, Benny is definitely on Grindr; we matched. :zink:

[Benny]

I should have been more clear: it's just a general view. If one is considering cheating, one should just end the relationship in question.

That being said, Benny is definitely on Grindr; we matched. :zink:

Swipe right, sweet cheeks xxx

[Andy]

I find it far too hard dealing with one woman, the thought of more than one nut case demanding my time is the stuff of nightmares.

[simon]

Have you thought about trying Grindr?

If you want to ask me out, just do it. I'm easily persuaded.

[Benny]

If you want to ask me out, just do it. I'm easily persuaded.

Hi, my name's Ben. I like long walks along the beach, romantic novels and nothing more than snuggling up watching Peak Practice with a hot chocolate.

http://www.rowdytalk.com/images/smilies/bananas.gif

[Spoonsky]

You've jinxed it now, you tit.

Simon always jinxes it. It's a bit sad to watch.

I believe in you, Simon lad.

[simon]

Yeah, I reckon I jinxed it. :D

[simon]

I obviously need to get better at first dates.

Where's Panda when you need him?

[Toby]

I'd find it a bit creepy if somebody I didn't actually know started their message with "Hey Toby, how are you?"

[Lewis]

'Is that your real head?'

[simon]

I'd find it a bit creepy if somebody I didn't actually know started their message with "Hey Toby, how are you?"

I'll bear that in mind should I ever match with you on Tinder.

[Magic]

'Is that your real head?'

:harold:

[Magic]

Interests:

Correcting other peoples' mistakes.
If you didn't notice, swipe left bitches.

[Magic]

Bitch wife just moaned the pus off me so I fought back, she told be to stay down here for a bit which is no big deal. She went through to the kitchen and screamed so I thought I'd really upset her. Turns out she just stood on a big ass slug and it sprayed everywhere. Now she needs me, the whore.

Also had 6AM sex this morning. Scenes.

[randomlegend]

When I got home I went upstairs and kissed my daughter on the head, is a cheeky fuck worth losing everything?


You really do sicken me sometimes, Magic.

[AE]

Me and girl I talked about earlier in the thread are making leaps and bounds. It's about 3 weeks and we're all over each other. Her mum is coming into town, and she asked if I wanted to see her... I said it should be up to her to decide whether I want to meet her mum. A few seconds of silence and she was like "Yeah, I want you to meet her". So I guess we're doing lunch sometime next week.

If their was some sort of rule book code for relationships i'm sure we've broken every single rule. We're moving in super speed and we've talked about how fast we're moving but we decided that if we both like each other this much and we enjoy spending time together then why shouldn't we?

Oh and I also haven't done the deed yet. So it makes it even more brilliant that we're enjoying each others company. She claims to like me so much that she doesn't want me for just sex. I've never had such severe blue balls in my life.

[simon]

inb4 you lose interest after having sex with her. :baz:

[AE]

I don't think so. I've got several scratches on my back and that's just been from teasing her. Could be on to a winner here :wub:

[Foe]

Has anyone heard from mahow in Ukraine?

[Mazuuurk]

He actually went there?

[Magic]

:face:

[Mazuuurk]

Then I'm missing the joke here I'm afraid? :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He actually went there?
I'm there right now m8.

[Mazuuurk]

Really? Did you meet the camgirl yet?

I have a hard time understanding internet-sarcasm, if you're trolling me

[Magic]

Maz I'm amazed you know about the internet.

[Raoul Duke]

I don't think so. I've got several scratches on my back and that's just been from teasing her. Could be on to a winner here :wub:

I don't really understand why you haven't ploughed her yet. You're both adults, right? If someone hadn't put out after a third date I'd sack it off.

Is this some kind of American "purity ring" gibberish? Is she a Scientologist/Mormon/Jesus freak?

[Spoonsky]

If AE marries a Mormon. :cool:

[Mazuuurk]

Maz I'm amazed you know about the internet.

I don't really, I telegraph whatever I mean to post on here to this dude who only charges like a quid per post, and then he does it for me. I would't know how to operate "the internet" .

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Really? Did you meet the camgirl yet?

I have a hard time understanding internet-sarcasm, if you're trolling me

Yeah Maz.

After watching Spectre in Leicester Square, grabbing something to eat and almost slipping over in the grease lakes in Chinatown I hopped onto a flight to Kiev.

[Mazuuurk]

Exciting times. Can you set up a thread and live-blog the fuck out of this? Have you set up a meeting yet?

[Magic]

Maz, my sweet prince. :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Exciting times. Can you set up a thread and live-blog the fuck out of this? Have you set up a meeting yet?

I took Yev's advice, I've got a Gopro attached to my forehead.

[GS]

'How was still trying to pretend it was all a ruse last time it was mentioned.

[Magic]

Maz trolling is pretty amusing. :)

[Pepe]

It isn't.

[mo]

Wife's libido is through the roof recently since coming off the pill. Broadening her horizons as well in terms of what she wears in the bedroom and sending me intimate pictures. I can barely keep up.

Interesting the impact the pill has.

[Baz]

Share the wealth.

[AE]

I don't really understand why you haven't ploughed her yet. You're both adults, right? If someone hadn't put out after a third date I'd sack it off.

Is this some kind of American "purity ring" gibberish? Is she a Scientologist/Mormon/Jesus freak?

No, it's more like she just doesn't want this to be about sex, and honestly she has a point. Spending time with her and getting to know her before sex has made our feelings even stronger. That's not to say every time I'm with her I don't want to take her clothes off and smash her. We're both similar in the fact that our previous relationships have been pretty meaningless sex. So it's good to actually want someone.

If AE marries a Mormon. :cool:

God, no.

[Spammer]

I'm coming to realise how unbelievably fickle I am. I seem to be infatuated with a different person every couple of weeks, and get bored once I get to know them better.

[AE]

After your sexual adventures. Going on a date would probably be less exciting.

[Magic]

I'm coming to realise how unbelievably fickle I am. I seem to be infatuated with a different person every couple of weeks, and get bored once I get to know them better.

You're just afraid to open up and reveal your true self for fear of judgement.

To be honest with regards to you that's no bad thing. :baz:

[Raoul Duke]

No, it's more like she just doesn't want this to be about sex, and honestly she has a point. Spending time with her and getting to know her before sex has made our feelings even stronger. That's not to say every time I'm with her I don't want to take her clothes off and smash her. We're both similar in the fact that our previous relationships have been pretty meaningless sex. So it's good to actually want someone.

But...assuming that is now well-established...why not get stuck in?

I'm having trouble understanding what the point of withholding from it is. Of course you're bonkers for her - blue balls will do that to a man.

[Spoonsky]

I'm coming to realise how unbelievably fickle I am. I seem to be infatuated with a different person every couple of weeks, and get bored once I get to know them better.

I get this too. Find it difficult to stay interested in someone for more than a few weeks.

[Giggles]

I get this too. Find it difficult to stay interested in someone for more than a few weeks.

Just don't give your letterman jacket to the wrong girl up on makeout ridge.

[mugbull]

Sick Giggles. What a burn.

[Foe]

Don't you need to be sportingly inclined to get a letterman jacket?

:henn0rz:

[Spammer]

I think it's more than fickleness. I seem to idealise someone to an extent that they can never live up to, and I'm then disappointed when I get to know them and they inevitably fall short of what I build them up as. I've never done this dating thing much before - all my relationships have just developed from close friendships - so I'm not used to just chilling out and rolling with it.

[AE]

But...assuming that is now well-established...why not get stuck in?

I'm having trouble understanding what the point of withholding from it is. Of course you're bonkers for her - blue balls will do that to a man.

All in time mate, all in time. Point of withholding is to develop other feelings that aren't sex. I've had so much meaningless sex, that it's actually a good change for once. When we do get to that eventual point, it'll actual mean something.

I will also last a good 5 secs.

[Spoonsky]

Don't you need to be sportingly inclined to get a letterman jacket?

:henn0rz:

I have "lettered" in cross country and tennis all the times I've done them, so jog on, midget.

[Boydy]

Ahhh, that's what a letterman jacket is. Those gimpy things. I thought it had something to do with the talkshow host.

[Spoonsky]

They are sort of dead as a concept though, at least here. To "letter" in a sport is purely symbolic these days.

[Kikó]

Me and the missus looked at venues the other day for the reception and where to actually have the thing. We're hoping today to get the confirmation on that and we have to wait until November to book the church but it's absolutely superb - https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/16/Basilica_estrela_1.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

When should we be expecting our invites?

[Pepe]

Wait, you have to 'earn' those jackets? I thought you just bought them in the bookstore or something.

[Benny]

Pretty sure you can just buy them, but your probably sneered at by the other band camp members.

[Spoonsky]

I think to get a legitimate letterman's jacket you have to take the letter certificate you get to some wanky store and they get it for you. But I could be wrong, maybe you can just buy knockoffs.

[AE]

I gave my senior jersey to my ex girlfriend. Oh how I wish I didn't :(

[Pepe]

:harold:

[Benny]

Rookie mistake to give something you actually care about to a girlfriend.

[AE]

It was, but at that point I thought I was going to marry that girl. The girl in question is married now, you think she'd give it back?

[Lewis]

She'll have binned it ages ago, mate.

[randomlegend]

It's probably her husband's jizz rag by now.

[AE]

That's not very nice is it? She could've asked if I wanted it back.

Edit: I know she's doing some mission trip in Guatemala for a couple of years now. So wouldn't actually be surprised if some orphans got it.

[AE]

Finally lads :cool:

[Pepe]

Alb. :cool:

[Lewis]

Quality mate. Honestly thought she would have binned it.

[Benny]

I hope you wore a jacket.

[7om]

Did you do it SincereTheRebel style with socks on?

[simon]

People actually bother to take their socks off?

[Boydy]

A man in socks and nothing else is probably one of the most hideous sights there is.

[Pepe]

Seen many Boyd?

[Benny]

Flashbacks of his uncle.

[Boydy]

You've never been naked but for your socks and thought 'ugh, this is the most disgusting I've ever looked'?

[Pen]

I love the missus more than ever now as I managed to bin my wallet at the shop and without her asking me to put some money on her account I'd still be none the wiser. All well now as I just got back from getting it from the bin I left it in.

[Benny]

You put your wallet in the bin? Always knew you were a bit special.

[Pen]

I was packing the things I had and managed to brush the wallet in to the bin with my back pack. I heard something drop, but as my gloves were still there I thought I just imagined it. My card was cancelled this week as someone tried to copy it too, so I was carrying about a 100€ in cash. I did feel a bit special once I realised I had just binned all my money :face:

[Raoul Duke]

A man in socks and nothing else is probably one of the most hideous sights there is.

I raise you: http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences4/shirt

Alb 0/

[mugbull]

A girl in socks and nothing else, on the other hand, is intensely erotic. Insane.

[Benny]

Are you trying to be mert now?

[Mazuuurk]

There's nothing Merty about that at all.

Unless he starts lecturing you on how to beat your chest properly (make remarks about her dads socks or something) to reach said state of quasi-undress.

[mugbull]

Long socks and NOTHING else. Cmon benjamin you have to indulge your fantasies sometimes. Dont tell me that's not hot

[Boydy]

I raise you: http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences4/shirt

Alb 0/

Yeah, that's worse. There are socks involved there too though.

[igor_balis]

A young lady once sat on my lap wearing only a shirt and her pants, but because the shirt was a really grotty and really big misshapen brown polo-shirt with the logo of the local village pub it had pretty much the opposite response to what she was going for.

[Giggles]

Mahow

http://www.theladbible.com/articles/these-are-the-weirdest-thing-webcam-girls-have-ever-been-asked

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Shitting himself and then getting a pizza plus the guy shoving loads of food down his underwear :cab:

The rest aren't that mental tbh.

[Benny]

A girl in socks and nothing else, on the other hand, is intensely erotic. Insane.

Oh I'm very much with you, but you've seemed to change personalities quite a lot since the move over onto the new board.

[simon]

The rest aren't that mental tbh.


He requested that I turn on his webcam feed and publicly humiliate his tiny penis in my room of 100 people. He said he loved my big teeth.


I did get one guy who wanted me to set up a session outside with my car in which I repeatedly failed to start it, with the cam particularly focusing on the hair on my arms. The cam session would end when my car finally started.

That's the first two. They are mental, there's no other word for it.

[Lee]

So glad I bottled it and didn't finish things when I was feeling shit a while back. Things between us are as good as they've ever been. And the sex. :drool:

[simon]

Does she wear her socks in bed?

[Lee]

She does not.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's the first two. They are mental, there's no other word for it.

The first isn't that mental, I've seen stuff like that before.

The second I'll give you though.

[Pepe]

Oh I'm very much with you, but you've seemed to change personalities quite a lot since the move over onto the new board.

College, mate.


The first isn't that mental, I've seen stuff like that before.

The second I'll give you though.

Yes but you're a weirdo yourself.

[Magic]

Remember when you all laughed at my wife's home spray tanning salon thing, well she's got her first client tonight, not a hottie by any stretch of the imagination. She's practice. However the wife has extremely hot mates, who have even hotter mates, and they are all well up for coming here, in to my house, to get naked. I am fucking SALIVATING at the thought.

On a scale of 1-10 on how tempted I am to invest in a GoPro and set it up in my office/salon I'd say it's at about 3,000,000. I'm only put off at the initial outlay of the 1080p ones.

In fact, fuck it, the mere thought is enough to probably make me cum without a boner. I'll definitely have to whack one out when they're upstairs.

[Lee]

This the first I'd seen of Mrs Magic's spray tanning antics but that you allow that to happen in your house (for very good perving reasons in fairness) blows apart any future claims of being middle class. Still, being working class amd having half naked women in your house is definitely a better deal so fair play.

[Magic]

Half naked? Mate this is full on naked.

[Lee]

Can I come round?

[Magic]

If it was half naked I'd be excited but this is flaps and all. And I bet they have absolutely ethereal poons.

[Magic]

Sexual assault is legal in your own house right? There's no laws like vampires about being invited in etc?

[Lee]

How does this 'salon' work? Can you get cams in? Get 'How to mod it.

[Magic]

It's my office with a spray tent in it. Lol.

[Lee]

Since it's your office I reckon you have the right to demand you stay there while they're naked. I'm sure they wouldn't mind you wanking to their silhouettes.

[Magic]

It's an open tent mate. You're such a fucking amateur. Go and do Lauren's hair or something you soft cunt.

[Pepe]

When she starts earning more than you and kicks you out of the house. :drool:

[Boydy]

That's probably what this is, isn't it? Setting up a business on the side so she'll have enough money when she kicks you out.

[Magic]

She's on about moving me in to the cupboard downstairs and claiming my entire office. It's not good, lads. Still worth a sacrifice for an accidental 'GOD THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE' burst in then say 'oh false alarm'. Hopefully get a peak at some heavenly breasts glistening in fake tan.

[Lewis]

'I've got it all set up, girls. It's just upstairs in the...'
*looks right at Magic*
'SPARE BEDROOM.'

Man the ABC thread.

[Magic]

Did I tell you guys I found a wad of cash in her jewelery dresser thing? No? Oh that's for another time.

[Magic]

'I've got it all set up, girls. It's just upstairs in the...'
*looks right at Magic*
'SPARE BEDROOM.'

Man the ABC thread.

I'll need to add Dispute and Energy to it at this rate.

[Lee]

It's an open tent mate. You're such a fucking amateur. Go and do Lauren's hair or something you soft cunt.

Yeah sorry it's really gay that I don't know what a spray tan tent looks like.

[Magic]

I wonder if I could drill spy holes, our bedroom is adjacent to my office.

[Magic]

Yeah sorry it's really gay that I don't know what a spray tan tent looks like.

I might get her to do my torso so I look like a luscious Greek God. Just with a peely waly face and limbs.

[Giggles]

Take the cash Magic, just to see how badly she wanted it secret.

[Lee]

You're blatantly going to have a go at this and turn up to work like Tango Man.

[Magic]

I queried it, she just told me it was an emergency fund in case we split up. She'll need it to be fair because her cards are getting cancelled if we do.

[Lewis]

She'll kick him out for the duration, so he'll spend the night rage-posting off his phone from a pub somewhere.

[Magic]

I could meet up with Waff and tell him in no uncertain terms not to get married when he's 21.

[Giggles]

I queried it, she just told me it was an emergency fund in case we split up. She'll need it to be fair because her cards are getting cancelled if we do.

If she's gone that far then she has already made her mind up it's happening. Just a matter of how big she needs the wad of cash to be before she pulls the pin.

[Magic]

If she's gone that far then she has already made her mind up it's happening. Just a matter of how big she needs the wad of cash to be before she pulls the pin.

It was £250 last year. I haven't found anything since, the bitch probably has it offshore'd.

[Lee]

She has a 'Leaving Magic' fund? That's outstanding. :D

[Foe]

Nows a great time to float the idea of a threesome.

[Giggles]

No harm in the cameras if she's leaving you anyway.

[SvN]

If you have a computer in this room, just leave the webcam recording. Easy.

[simon]

I queried it, she just told me it was an emergency fund in case we split up. She'll need it to be fair because her cards are getting cancelled if we do.

:D

Seriously? Have words, mate.

[Magic]

It really is unsettling how many mrgreens appear every time I reveal something about our relationship.

[Raoul Duke]

Use her hidden stash to buy a GoPro

[Magic]

If you have a computer in this room, just leave the webcam recording. Easy.

I do have my laptop. I just can't bring myself to do such sinister shit though.

[Boydy]

The CIA and GCHQ are probably watching anyway. Why let them have all the fun?

[Magic]

Live Twitch feed anyone?

[Disco]

Obviously Magic losing his wife would be terrible for him but it could be great for the board. Imagine the traffic we could generate with a decent liveblogging.

[Foe]

Maybe offy will do it for you.

[Spoonsky]

If it was half naked I'd be excited but this is flaps and all. And I bet they have absolutely ethereal poons.

I'm sorry but :D

[phonics]

Maybe offy will do it for you.
At least refer to Magics wife as a 'her' if you're going to disrespect him like that.

[Manc]

Pressure. It's becoming insmountable.

My girlfriend and I are in a rocky patch atm. In the next week or so I've got to extend our living together for another year. I've also got to book a holiday, one which I neither have the funds or desire to do. Add to that she admitted openly to wanting a child by the age of 32 (currently 29) and inevitably wants to move back home to be closer to her family.

I have no one to talk to about this since we know all the same people. My head feels like it's going to fucking implode.

[Benny]

Do you definitely not want children? If so, then you need to be unselfish and break up with her.

[Manc]

I'm not against children. It's the expectation of it all that's getting to me.

[Sam]

Sacrifices my friend, my girlfriend is the same age (29) and wishes for kids in the impending future. She already lives close to home and nowhere near mine, she won't ever leave but I do want kids with her, tis the sacrifice you have to make, as an example. If you unable to do that, then call it quits now.

[Magic]

Can anyone suggest date ideas to me please? I can only think of bowling and the nearest one is over an hour away. We're already going for sumart to eat and do not want to go to the cinema. At a loss, really.

[Boydy]

A trip to the solicitor to discuss your impending divorce.

[Boydy]

Serious answer - how about a salsa dancing class or something like that?

[niko_cee]

I really don't get the whole 'date night' thing.

[Toby]

For fuck's sakes, Magic the pretend snob going bowling. :D

[Josh]

I really don't get the whole 'date night' thing.

I get the need to spend time away from kids (if you have them) and spend some quality time together but the thought of doing an activity for forced fun would make me cringe until I turned inside out. What's wrong with dinner and a couple of drinks or something you actually do enjoy together before forcing it?

[Disco]

Make it something cheap, she won't want to blow all of her escape fund.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There must be a laser quest in Dundee.

[Boydy]

I really don't get the whole 'date night' thing.

You and your wife/partner probably don't hate each other.

[igor_balis]

I might be risking the ire of John (and everyone else) by posting another tangentially related youtube video, but here's a song about Magic's life.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htvhw6Dd1q4

[Boydy]

I might be risking the ire of John (and everyone else) by posting another tangentially related youtube video, but here's a song about Magic's life.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htvhw6Dd1q4

:D

One of your more relevant videos.

[Magic]

Serious answer - how about a salsa dancing class or something like that?

:harold:

You're first suggestion was better.

[Magic]

I get the need to spend time away from kids (if you have them) and spend some quality time together but the thought of doing an activity for forced fun would make me cringe until I turned inside out. What's wrong with dinner and a couple of drinks or something you actually do enjoy together before forcing it?

Because we always do that. Just fancy something different as a nostalgic hark back to childless days.

[John]

Nostalgia usually involves something you remember. If you're asking us for suggestions there's unlikely to be much nostalgia involved.

Go to the theatre or a comedy club.

[Boydy]

:harold:

You're first suggestion was better.

Fine. Enjoy your bedsit and only seeing your child on weekends.

[Toby]

Comedy clubs are good, especially if it's a night with lots of shorter acts as it allows a mixture of conversation time and entertainment that you don't get at the cinema (or theatre). Maybe in short supply outside of bigger cities though.

[igor_balis]

A hot Spanish woman gave me her phone number at a party recently, and I've made very tentative plans to meet her, but I don't think she realises I'm 23 (she's 35) so I feel a bit guilty. She also lives miles away from where I do, and it feels very much like a casual 'well drop me a text if you're in town and we can meet up', and as my other mate that lives there is busy it would be slightly freakazoid behaviour to go all that way to probably have one pint.

[Boydy]

A hot older Spanish woman wants your willy and you won't go meet her?

[igor_balis]

A hot older Spanish woman wants your willy and you won't go meet her?
I possibly will, but she lives in a city many miles from where I live, and the vibe was of something casual if I just happened to be there to see other friends, rather than organising anything more solid. I think she'd be freaked out if I went all the way there just to see her, and I'm really rubbish at lying. I'll text her again today hinting that I might not have anywhere to stay as a way to gauge her interest levels.

[John]

You think you'll freak her out with the suggestion that you're only there to see her, but unmistakably hinting that you want to stay with her overnight is fine? Unless she gave off a lunatic vibe I think you've got that backwards.

Tell her you were planning to travel through to see a mate from uni or something, but he's had to cancel and you already had your train booked. Low maintenance lie and it doesn't look as though you were traveling just to see her.

[Magic]

Looks like it's the fucking cinema. Again. :moop:

[igor_balis]

You think you'll freak her out with the suggestion that you're only there to see her, but unmistakably hinting that you want to stay with her overnight is fine? Unless she gave off a lunatic vibe I think you've got that backwards.

Tell her you were planning to travel through to see a mate from uni or something, but he's had to cancel and you already had your train booked. Low maintenance lie and it doesn't look as though you were traveling just to see her.

That's pretty excellent advice, cheers John. Believe it or not, my intention wasn't to imply I wanted to go back to hers, but rather let her know that my original plans had been curtailed so I would only be there to see her. Which, reading it back, makes very little sense. It is all a bit confusing and annoying, because I have a good friend who lives in that city, but he's being really funny about me visiting, obstructive even. I think he fancies her himself.

So that's a thing - she'll assume immediately that the person I meant to see originally was our mutual friend, and she could quite easily chat to him and find out he wasn't actually busy. That could create tedious drama.

[Magic]

What City is it?

[Spammer]

I can understand date nights when you've got kids. You spend so much time with them and with each other that it's good to section off a bit off time just for each other.

[igor_balis]

What City is it?

I'd rather not say, as my friends already know I post on 'that fucking fm forum'. Actually, fuck it, they'd know exactly who I am and what I'm talking about regardless. It's Sheffield.

[igor_balis]

Not even en route to my Gorgie palace.

[Sam]

I'd rather not say, as my friends already know I post on 'that fucking fm forum'. Actually, fuck it, they'd know exactly who I am and what I'm talking about regardless. It's Sheffield.

Has she got a husband?

Hammer handle this.

[Magic]

Not even en route to my Gorgie palace.

I was there again with those Tynecastle twats today, got fucking soaked.

Also Sheffield is a helluva trek.

[Spammer]

Spanish lass I was seeing was from Leeds. Similar age though.

[Lewis]

She's probably 'hot' in the way that those videos he posts are 'funny' and 'relevant'.

[igor_balis]

I was there again with those Tynecastle twats today, got fucking soaked.

Also Sheffield is a helluva trek.

If you don't inform me when you're around next so we can have the weirdest, most awkward tth meet ever, I'll phone up Robbie Neilson and tell him the bloke who plugs the phones in and stuff has been wanking in the stationery cupboard.

And it really fucking is, though I am coming back up north from the midlands, so it is like....vaguely in the right direction, but adds about 2 hours to my journey.

[igor_balis]

She's probably 'hot' in the way that those videos he posts are 'funny' and 'relevant'.

Thanks.

[Magic]

If you don't inform me when you're around next so we can have the weirdest, most awkward tth meet ever, I'll phone up Robbie Neilson and tell him the bloke who plugs the phones in and stuff has been wanking in the stationery cupboard.

And it really fucking is, though I am coming back up north from the midlands, so it is like....vaguely in the right direction, but adds about 2 hours to my journey.

:drool:

McDonalds? I had an anal scraping burger for lunch and it was fucking disgusting.

[Spammer]

Me and Magic talked about meeting when he came to see THE MIGHTY LEEDS but it never happened. I imagine he'd want to go to the swingers club.

[igor_balis]

:drool:

McDonalds? I had an anal scraping burger for lunch and it was fucking disgusting.

I'd suggest somewhere better that's nearby but there's not many places right by Tynecastle. Just get a sandwich from Sainsbury's and eat it in my front room watching me play fifa. Or walk a bit further towards town, and there's loads of decent places even 5 minutes away. 'Burger' is pretty cheap for a brioche bun hipstery place.

[Magic]

I might be TTH's biggest meet BOTTLER.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've met 11 of you (well, ten plus Jord). Has anyone else got such a total? Kiko seems to get about town.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I saw an Indian version of Baz once.

I'm counting that.

[Spammer]

I met however many there was last year. 7 others I think.

Kiko
Benny
Judgie (was that the dude's name on here? I'm shit with names)
Hydrosyphilis
Simon
Taz
Raoul

[simon]

Judgie. :D

Rushie, Hammer. Rushie.

[Pepe]

Judgie. :D

[simon]

We also need to sort the kickabout for the Euro's. Somebody needs to track Taz down.

[Lewis]

Floyd (twice)
Luca
'Jord'
Amigo (half)
Randrew

I also spotted Richie looking like Big Bird outside of an exam but didn't want him to bail and miss it.

[Pen]

I only get 6 TTH'ers with one of them being Tudor in Romania :D (that must be the most exotic meet so far).

I've been getting grief from the missus that I spend too much time playing futsal/football/floorball. Fair enough that at the moment I'm still in a ten day period where I have something every day, but it's not like I can start skipping games and training and still keep playing. I think she expects too much of my time, even though she obviously comes first, that doesn't mean I don't have other social and sporting commitments.

[Boydy]

There was a user called Judgie absolutely yonks ago. Like around 2005/6. He might have been one of the FM Gamer lot at the time of that merge.

[Danny]

I think he was

[Magic]

http://thedugout.tv/community/member.php?u=56

:)

[Foe]

Tthirl

[Disco]

I'm pretty sure I once saw Boom in Sainsburys so I'm claiming that one.

[Magic]

Bowling in Dunfermline it is. No doubt we'll have a fight on the way there and every bowl will be delivered with maximum seethe.

[Boydy]

Is it not a bit of a trek from Dundee to Dunfermline just to go bowling?

[Magic]

Yes, it's about an hour as away. :D

However I don't pay for my fuel so why the fuck not? If she didn't get travel sick so easily I'd be driving all over the UK to do random and pointless shit.

[Baz]

I've met DC.

Plus I once saw Mahow when I was pretending to be from Kashmir.

[leedsrevolution]

Wait, so we could get a possible meet up of Hammer, Igor, Magic and me - fucking hell.

[Raoul Duke]

I've met Elth, Luca, Kiko, Jimmy, Taz, GS, Hammer, Draper, James, Sama, Benny and all the other crew who came to football.

[Giggles]

Should have done the cinema. No interaction then.

[Giggles]

Did a football meet actually happen? And GS went? :D

[randomlegend]

I've only met the lads from the weekly Norwich meets.

[simon]

Did a football meet actually happen? And GS went? :D

Yes it did and no he didn't.

[DC]

I've met DC.

And I continue to be well sexy.

[Manc]

Is anyone Manchester based?

[Foe]

I've met Elth, Luca, Kiko, Jimmy, Taz, GS, Hammer, Draper, James, Sama, Benny and all the other crew who came to football.

That. Cuts. DEEP.

[Spammer]

Wait, so we could get a possible meet up of Hammer, Igor, Magic and me - fucking hell.

I'm game :cool:

There's Scousepig too I think. At least, he lived in leeds vaguely recently.

[igor_balis]

I'd definitely be game, just for the comedic value of me, hammer and leedsrev stood next to each other. It would be like when ted, dougal and jack did the three ages of elvis, except for the lead singer of keane.

[leedsrevolution]

I've gotten really fat as well so we could all have a laugh about that. :drool:

[Magic]

Bowling is shit. Dunfermline is atrocious.

[Giggles]

Bowling is shit. Dunfermline is atrocious.

Was love rekindled though?

[Magic]

Yeah we had a good time. Highly recommends escaping reality as often as possible.

[Manc]

Waking up at the inlaws to discover more inlaws are coming round just to see me. Christ. Does anyone know any jokes?

[phonics]

What did you get Magic? I scored a PB of 129 the other day :cool:

[Magic]

I can't even remember. Below 80 I think.

[Lewis]

'You're letting me win. Stop it!'
*imploding because he isn't*

[Magic]

I actually was proper seething. I did nail the only strike, but that was little consolation. I convinced her to play me for 30 mins at pool and I potted the black three times. :D

Had to give a proper hiding to get my manhood back.