The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nobody wants to lick you, you flirt.

Well you have to ask.

[7om]

I've only sporadically read your posts in here, Igor, but you must be getting to the point now where you're tired of casual shagging?

Also, weirdly, the first thing I thought when reading your latest escapade was that DS woulkd be proud of you.

[igor_balis]

I've only sporadically read your posts in here, Igor, but you must be getting to the point now where you're tired of casual shagging?

Also, weirdly, the first thing I thought when reading your latest escapade was that DS woulkd be proud of you.

I'm not actually that successful with women, I just share it with you lot when I am. It's less that I'm tired of casual sex, more that I'm tired of very intermittent casual sex and wanking.

[Magic]

Wait...you ate a one night stand's butt? Yeck.

[Pepe]

When even Magic thinks that you are a bad one you know things are serious.

[Dark Soldier]

Marry her igor. Thank me later.

Filth needs to be tied down.

[SincereTheRebel]

Wait...you ate a one night stand's butt? Yeck.

You fucking animal.

[Shindig]

We're going to have an AIDS graveyard with Hammer and Igor buried side-by-side.

[Manc]

I'm still undecided if these things actually happen to Igor.

[igor_balis]

Wait...you ate a one night stand's butt? Yeck.

It wasn't some random sket I met in a nightclub though, she's my best mate's girlfriend's best mate. Their vouching for her implicitly includes vouching for her bumhole afaic.

[Mazuuurk]

Tbh it's them vouching for her bumhole that should perhaps worry you above everything else here, then.

[SincereTheRebel]

Fucking savage.

[Giggles]

Is sincere randoming it, calling people animals who don't like touching human faeces, or just having an episode?

[SincereTheRebel]

Is sincere randoming it, calling people animals who don't like touching human faeces, or just having an episode?

Im struggling to think how there is any benefit to this time of sex act

[Giggles]

Im struggling to think how there is any benefit to this time of sex act

That's why I was puzzled that you called magic an animal for saying the same thing.

[SincereTheRebel]

I should have quoted the original post from Igor

[Boydy]

Marry her igor. Thank me later.

Filth needs to be tied down.

Or tied up.

[Magic]

It wasn't some random sket I met in a nightclub though, she's my best mate's girlfriend's best mate. Their vouching for her implicitly includes vouching for her bumhole afaic.

Insanity. I'd need to build up a full understanding of toilet habits, hygiene, diet, any outstanding tract issues etc before I even contemplated that. This gives me a framework that when followed, won't see me take on a tapeworm when the project is complete.

[randomlegend]

I'd lick anything that doesn't smell too bad.

[Magic]

As a so-called Doctor you should know you can't detect parasites with your nose.

[randomlegend]

Worth.

[mugbull]

mugbull it's Edinburgh lads. August 17th - 24th. Game?

Could probably make it for a few days out of that ye

[Bam]

Never put a tongue in before a finger , only once touched poo


Great advice. :D

[phonics]

Eating ass should not be done on a casual basis otherwise you'll just get known as a shit sniffer.

[Mazuuurk]

Speaking from experience, shit sniffer?

[igor_balis]

It looks like party girl might actually have some potential. She text me to say she had fun and told me to message her whenever I'm next down in London. I told her I'll be down in 2 or 3 weekends time anyway to see friends (true, but plans obviously only contrived to facilitate seeing her), and she's just said that she's always around and just to message her.

I'm not very spontaneous and I'm quite autistic about getting everything meticulously planned (which people are generally surprised about, as an aside), so I'm somewhat paranoid I'll get the train to euston, tell her I'm around and be told she's fucked off to Oxford for the weekend or whatever it is posh girls do. Aside from that I'm obviously very pleased with the outcome - she's seemingly very keen to shag again, without any clingy pseudo-relationshippy baggage.

I'm also using a lot of willpower to not fall into the cycle of mindless small talk asking her about her day etc, as I think that will actually be counterproductive this time.

[Spikey M]

Ask for a picture of her oil seal and post results.

[Foe]

Find out if her tyres are bald.

[igor_balis]

Ask for a picture of her oil seal and post results.

I can rely on my memory, there was no evidence of leakage, though it sounds like I was quite lucky with my timing.

In the morning she was a bit off, and when I asked if I could have a shower she politely suggested I do so at my mate's house. She had to get the train at like 1pm so I just assumed she wanted me to fuck off so she had time to chill alone before that, but my mate's girlfriend told me with some glee that she'd told her it was because she'd had a massive stinky dump in there and didn't want me going in there after that. Bless.

[mugbull]

I'm also using a lot of willpower to not fall into the cycle of mindless small talk asking her about her day etc, as I think that will actually be counterproductive this time.

Ya matey, don't do this. It's counterproductive most times.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Good luck with the oil seal next time.

[SvN]

IMO if you have misgivings about the state of hygienic upkeep of the girls you’re hooking up with, better to stay home, lift some weights, hit your daily macros and try again in a few months.

The only decent part about being an admin is seeing the posts people decide to delete :D

[randomlegend]

I can't imagine anyone but mert saying "hit your daily macros", but I'd have thought he'd pride himself on not being enough of a 'beta little cuck' to delete his posts so I'm stumped.

[Pepe]

Impossible to know who might have posted that.

[Spikey M]

Sorry lads.

[Lewis]

I thought Mahow.

[igor_balis]

Unluckly Boydy, I saw your post before the ninja delete

[igor_balis]

Fair advice though, mate.

[Giggles]

Brown white privilege was my first thought too.

[Magic]

Christ you just know in between you going down to London again she'll be getting her piles chewed by some other bearded ginger twat who falls for her vile dirty bumhole.

[randomlegend]

"piles chewed" :D

[igor_balis]

Christ you just know in between you going down to London again she'll be getting her piles chewed by some other bearded ginger twat who falls for her vile dirty bumhole.

:D:D

I know I can always rely on you for the best advice, MJ.

In my defense, in the taxi she said "you don't do this kind of thing a lot, do you?", and even asked "you don't just see me as a London conquest, do you?" as we walked up the stairs to her flat. She was hesitant about actually shagging me, and said "we barely know each other, I don't even know if you remember my name" (WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY), which all suggests her asshole is at least a fairly selective establishment, though when I told m8's gf all this she rolled her eyes and said "oh fuck off [girl's name], she used to shag loads of people at uni".

[Spikey M]

Igor, she quoted the whole 'I don't usually do this sort of thing' chapter out of the Sluts Handbook to you.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mulva?

[Giggles]

She let a stranger finger her shitpipe, so she's clearly seen more prickends than weekends. Though it still wouldn't stop me getting a train.

[igor_balis]

Mulva?

:D

The foreplay had been great, really organically leading up to what I assumed would be inevitable sex (I find it can be very awkward and shit on one night stands, especially when you're both really drunk), then she got a bit angsty and said the thing about me not remembering her name. I knew her fucking name, and had known it all evening, but the stress of being asked it whilst she was sat on me all naked fucked with my head and I did not have a fucking clue. if I'd actually tried to guess it, it would have been like Mrs Doyle and Todd Unctious.

Spent about 5 minutes with her saying "just say my fucking name", sounding close to tears, as I blagged "well I know your fucking name, obviously, but I'm not going to say it, that's bollocks. this is stupid", etc. Horrible, and I am surprised she didn't just kick me out. When she eventually just went "my name is fucking [___]", and I said WELL I KNEW THAT, she said oh fuck it I still want to fuck you, but by this point I was somewhat deflated by the stress of what had just happened, and it took a while to get back into the swing of it.

[igor_balis]

She let a stranger finger her shitpipe, so she's clearly seen more prickends than weekends. Though it still wouldn't stop me getting a train.

:lol:

It absolutely wouldn't stop me either, but I think (based on her behaviour but also what was said by her and my mate's gf the next day) she shagged LOADS of lads at uni, but doesn't really do it as much these days. But nah, I don't particularly care either way.

[Queenslander]

I reckon if you dig deep you will find she has some kind of trauma in her past...

[Spikey M]

*arse

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I would love it if she goes for a hot curry the night before you go there next.

[igor_balis]

Someone I work with has been with her boyfriend for 5 years and the one time he put his finger up there it got absolutely covered in shit, lol.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

At least he didn't go in tongue first.

[igor_balis]

Is rimming that weird? Does anyone else do it?

I'd post a poll but i don't know how to.

[Spikey M]

Someone I work with has been with her boyfriend for 5 years and the one time he put his finger up there it got absolutely covered in shit, lol.

Well, that's the last place you'd expect to find it.

[Magic]

I reckon if you dig deep you will find she has some kind of trauma in her past...

I think we only need to dig a week or so back.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think we only need to dig a week or so back.

:D

[Queenslander]

I think we only need to dig a week or so back.

:lol:

[7om]

You ever licked arsehole, Mahow?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You offering yours?

[Bartholomert]

Is rimming that weird? Does anyone else do it?

I'd post a poll but i don't know how to.

Have none of you had long-term girlfriends? Do all of y'all hook up with hygienically challenged heifers? Or am I the degenerate in being unfazed by all of this discussion and surprised by everyone's seeming lack of experience?

[Queenslander]

Its just a spastic trend that Americans all convince each other they're doing, yeah?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Its just a spastic trend that Americans all convince each other they're doing, yeah?

Well they have to do it to each other to get into Frats.

[Bartholomert]

Its just a spastic trend that Americans all convince each other they're doing, yeah?

...maybe? Doing "butt stuff" was and continues to be very in vogue...we have a much larger African-American and Latino population, maybe it's stemming from those cultural influences?

See articles like this, from when I was in undergrad:

https://totalfratmove.com/how-to-actually-get-butt-stuff-from-a-girls-perspective/

https://totalfratmove.com/why-the-butt-stuff-trend-needs-to-end/

"Anyone with a pulse knows that this year, more than any other, was a watershed year for eating booty."

[Queenslander]

It reads like a desperate attempt to sell me a used car.

[7om]

totalfratmove dot com :D

This is the mert we know and love.

[Shindig]

It's probably a by-product of the porn we consume. Even so, I always had rimming down as a specifically gay practice. There's going to be a lad on the board within 5 years telling us the virtues of choking someone out.

[Spikey M]

I don't necessarily have a problem with it, but doing it to a one night stand is wrong'un territory.

[Queenslander]

It's probably a by-product of the porn we consume. Even so, I always had rimming down as a specifically gay practice. There's going to be a lad on the board within 5 years telling us the virtues of choking someone out.

This is post choking surely? I remember the local broken sheilas dribbling nonsense about that 10 years ago.

[Manc]

As in all cases it depends on the lass in question.

[SincereTheRebel]

Have zero interest in doing it or having it done.

[bruhnaldo]

Really a new spin on the "All Shit" part of the thread title

[Dark Soldier]

Someone I work with has been with her boyfriend for 5 years and the one time he put his finger up there it got absolutely covered in shit, lol.

First lass I did anal with shat all over me cock. I went and rinsed it with cold water in the sink then she had a good suck. Disgusting woman.

[SincereTheRebel]

Calling all married men. Did you ever dream of your wedding day when you were younger?

[SvN]

Nope. Not at all.

[SincereTheRebel]

Why? Women seem to do it all the time.

[Giggles]

Because he's a man.

[Shindig]

Brides like the occasion, grooms dread it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Weddings are as good as it gets for women. If you go to enough weddings you'll quickly work out that all the women there (not just the bride and close relations) are like pigs in shit, and all the men have basically been dragged there by the women.

[Shindig]

Aye, when my sis had hers, you'd get plenty women chipping in with 'how to do it'. I guess after that, the only other thing women bask in is childbirth.

[SincereTheRebel]

Married by force then. Say no more.

[-james-]

Weddings are great. I've definitely daydreamed about how I'd like mine done.

[phonics]

Going to weddings is a laugh as long as you know 3 or more seperate people.

[randomlegend]

Collecting the ring tomorrow.

I didn't "dream" of my wedding, but I look forward to it. From previous discussions we are pretty on the same page about what we'd want. Mostly I don't want anyone stuck there for 11,000 hours cooing over us, eating extremely average food and pretending it's the best thing ever when really they wanted to go home a quarter of a day ago and watch Love Island.

[SincereTheRebel]

Who from TTH is attending?

[randomlegend]

Only John.

[SincereTheRebel]

I ask becuase one of my friends who is recently married, is misreable as can be. I told him, its becuase it was never part of your dream. It was her dream and you deceded to jump into it with her.

[randomlegend]

I have no doubt I want to marry her.

[SincereTheRebel]

Good.

[randomlegend]

Good chat.

[Pepe]

But do you dream of it?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He only dreams of knives and a cure for migraines.

[Spikey M]

In a way knives are a cure for migraines.

[Shindig]

It's not a cure, it's a placebo.

[Giggles]

I'm going to a wedding in a few hours. Hanging like a bat and I can't find my tie either.

[Queenslander]

Missus is in the middle of chemo and her mind has melted. Im at my place for a week because interpretations that didnt go my way.

[Magic]

Jesus lad sending strength.

[Shindig]

Frig. Hope you guys both get through it.

[Mellberg]

That must be about as difficult as it gets. Stay strong.

[Queenslander]

It was all going swell untill she was prescribed 25 radiation sessions which is 5 more than the norm.

For some reason this has tipped her to glass half empty and im on the ropes absorbing the emotional adjustment. We will be fine in the long term but this week has been the hardest of my life. Im as easy going as it gets but nothing i do escapes this new perspective. :(

Im sorry to bring it here but there is no where else to turn to on a saturday night.

[mo]

It was all going swell untill she was prescribed 25 radiation sessions which is 5 more than the norm.

For some reason this has tipped her to glass half empty and im on the ropes absorbing the emotional adjustment. We will be fine in the long term but this week has been the hardest of my life. Im as easy going as it gets but nothing i do escapes this new perspective. :(

Im sorry to bring it here but there is no where else to turn to on a saturday night.

Don’t apologise! If anything this is the best place to vent. You can count on the kindness of strangers here. And that someone will call you a paedo or something.

[SincereTheRebel]

Stay strong.

[Magic]

I'm just surprised that an Australian has emotions.

[Queenslander]

I'm just surprised that an Australian has emotions.

Someone could commit suicide infront of me and I would feel nothing.

[Baz]

Someone could commit suicide infront of me and I would feel nothing.Don’t tempt him.

[Lewis]

Don’t apologise! If anything this is the best place to vent. You can count on the kindness of strangers here. And that someone will call you a paedo or something.

Is this really the time for grooming?

[Kikó]

All the best Queensland. Can't imagine anything worse.

Re wedding day. No dreams before and then was surprised how fantastic it was on the day. Thankfully been to more good ones then bad ones so far.

[7om]

Hope everything works out Queensland. Stay strong.

[Spikey M]

Fucking hell Queeny. I've been there with my mum, rather than a partner, but it is the shitest of shit situations.

The only advice I have, is as much as you are being as good to your partner as you can be, taking her struggling on your shoulders, be kind to yourself too. People often overlook that a sufferers loved ones are just as invested in the 'fight' and are, if not physically, just as affected by the products of it.

If anything, it may be harder watching someone go through it, than actually going through it.

[Andy]

Calling all married men. Did you ever dream of your wedding day when you were younger?

I'm getting married in 3 weeks, most definitely hadnt dreamt of the day. It'

[Queenslander]

After seeing the oncologist there is a fair chance that my missus has started menopause which would explain the rough way she has been communicating as of late.

Lucky Im already seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist for my own troubles so making time to talk about this will be fine.

Apologies to all this is the least exciting entry this thread has ever had.

[Baz]

I’d rather read about proper stuff than m- er, Bartholomew, calling us all cucks.

Why are you called hotfingers by the way? :D

[Queenslander]

I’d rather read about proper stuff than m- er, Bartholomew, calling us all cucks.

Why are you called hotfingers by the way? :D

:D

Because I throw excellent throws consistently and it is a great double entendre for a social game. One of my local pubs is a great community day hang and my missus hates it when a random person asks for my name to befriend.


Edit: I had a chance to be mildly funnier there...

[SincereTheRebel]

I'm getting married in 3 weeks, most definitely hadnt dreamt of the day. It'

Sounds like a great start.

[SincereTheRebel]

After seeing the oncologist there is a fair chance that my missus has started menopause which would explain the rough way she has been communicating as of late.

Lucky Im already seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist for my own troubles so making time to talk about this will be fine.

Apologies to all this is the least exciting entry this thread has ever had.

You dont have to apologies for anything.

[Mazuuurk]

Don't be so quick to say that Sincere. You have no idea what kind of tyres his lady has.

[SincereTheRebel]

He has already made it clear, she is his wife. So going by that, she has a set of Pirelli P Zero's

[Ian]

Is that a massive insult or a massive compliment in Sincerese?

[randomlegend]

Got engaged this morning; don't worry SincereTheRebel her tyres are in excellent nick and she's even got a proper spare, not a shitty space saver or that gunk stuff.

[-james-]

This morning? Did you lob it in with her corn flakes?

[Spikey M]

:D

[randomlegend]

This morning? Did you lob it in with her corn flakes?

Balanced it atop thy morning wood.

[Boydy]

How'd you do it for real though?

[randomlegend]

Just did it. We're going away in a week and I knew everyone was expecting it then given we've been together 100 years, so fuck'em. Has to be a surprise.

[SincereTheRebel]

Got engaged this morning; don't worry SincereTheRebel her tyres are in excellent nick and she's even got a proper spare, not a shitty space saver or that gunk stuff.

Two thumbs up from me lad.

Edit: Seriously, you may think its a running joke with the tyres saga I had. It's a good barometer to judge people. That girl turned out to be a trainwreck. I knew from the state from our initial meet, she would be a problem. Turned out she had a child by the way which she kept quiet. She was driving around putting his life at risk and all that. Dodged a bullet with that one.

[Shindig]

Stop doubling down on it! :D

[Ian]

Balanced it atop thy morning wood.

What was dino even doing there?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Congrats.

[Foe]

Congrats.

Yeah. This.

Sure you're delighted.

[Magic]

Love how you guys are clamouring to be the next me.

You'll never beat the original.

[Spikey M]

What was dino even doing there?

Well, Helping out, I guess.

[randomlegend]

Cheers lads xx

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Does she have plenty tit to spare?

[randomlegend]

Aye and the face of Brian McDermott.

[Boydy]

Congrats RL.

[randomlegend]

All dicking about aside, I'm really happy and excited. She's a proper little hero and I love her to bits.

[randomlegend]

Oh and mert can gargle my nards. :swing:

[Panda Bear]

I just noticed that the dick swing smilie isn't a smilie helicoptering his own dick, but riding the dick of another smilie which causes his dick to helicopter.

Oh, congratulations.

[randomlegend]

I just noticed that the dick swing smilie isn't a smilie helicoptering his own dick, but riding the dick of another smilie which causes his dick to helicopter.

Well would you look at that, he's right. Jimmy covertly having his own smiley all these years the little tyke.

[Boydy]

It's meatspin, innit?

[randomlegend]

It's meatspin, innit?

You're right.

[Giggles]

It's what?

[Shindig]

Old, vintage internet ... erm ... video.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Google it.

[bruhnaldo]

I just noticed that the dick swing smilie isn't a smilie helicoptering his own dick, but riding the dick of another smilie which causes his dick to helicopter.

Oh, congratulations.

Wow, I never noticed this until now.

[Giggles]

Google it.

I'm as likely to do that as click on a Baz link.

[randomlegend]

I'm as likely to do that as click on a Baz link.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sites/meatspin

[Foe]

Started dating a girl a couple of months ago who on paper is exactly what I'm looking for.

Athletic, clever and not a proper girly girl. Super hot too.

Christ she's hard work though. Quiet as fuck and seems to just jump to conclusions/judge me.

Currently trying to decide whether it's worth it or not, but the big downside being if I can't find a way to make it work with her I probably shouldn't even bother trying dating.

Are all women hard work? I've been single and independent for about ten years, maybe I'm just too used to my own space and time?

Still struggling with this. She's like talking to a brick wall sometimes. Doesn't ever seem happy. Saw her on Friday and she was just miserable company, admitting so when I left. Asked her if she would be better company yesterday (she's ill at the moment and seeemd annoyed at me not wanting to kiss her and risk getting ill) when she offered to come round and decided to be honest and tell her I was getting annoyed by her negative comments. She flipped it back at me angrily and haven't spoken to her since.

#ontheropes

I feel like not wanting to kiss someone who's clearly got a cough/throat issue isn't a bad thing? Am I wrong?

[Spikey M]

She sounds delight Foe. Propose. Do it for the board

[igor_balis]

Abort Foe, moody grumpy girls like that are never worth the effort. From experience, if they're like that this early on, they'll just get worse as it progresses. I've also noticed the fairly innocuous but annoying grumpiness often develops into manipulative gaslighty behaviour.

[Giggles]

Abort Foe, moody grumpy girls like that are never worth the effort. From experience, if they're like that this early on, they'll just get worse as it progresses. I've also noticed the fairly innocuous but annoying grumpiness often develops into manipulative gaslighty behaviour.

What's 'gaslighty', or did you (or your phone) make a bollocks of 'ghastly'?

[Boydy]

What's 'gaslighty', or did you (or your phone) make a bollocks of 'ghastly'?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

[igor_balis]

What's 'gaslighty', or did you (or your phone) make a bollocks of 'ghastly'?

I'll admit it wasn't exactly the most pure use of the English language, but I meant more liable to gaslight, e.g.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's belief

[Giggles]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

I'm still none the wiser a paragraph into that but I know he meant it now so that's enough.

[igor_balis]

Yeah what Boydy said

[igor_balis]

I'm still none the wiser a paragraph into that but I know he meant it now so that's enough.

To use an example from my own personal life, my first ever "proper" girlfriend was a massive...errr, gaslighter. She'd constantly recall things in a way that slightly adjusted the events to make her look better and make me look worse. Highlight was my flatmate and best friend spending the majority of our relationship trying to crack onto her in the most transparent way (he took her for a £60 meal and paid for it while i was HAVING INVASIVE EYE SURGERY), but when I confronted her on it she managed to twist it around into me being in the wrong for never doing nice things for her so she HAD to let him do stuff like that to get the treatment she deserved.

By the end of our relationship I'd genuinely gone a bit insane, and at times I thought I was in the wrong for being a shit boyfriend rather than her being an absolute manipulative cunt and my mate being a total rat.

[Lewis]

Didn't he end up with her? Gaslighted. Donned is the word you're after chief.

[igor_balis]

Didn't he end up with her? Gaslighted. Donned is the word you're after chief.

Cracking memory, Lew. They got together a week after I broke up with her, and 8 years later they're currently engaged. They even invited me to the wedding.

Donned in the short term certainly, but it worked out pretty well in the long run. Seems like a comfortable, stable relationship has done nothing to change her behaviour. In the spirit of being the bigger man, when me and some of the old gang went for a night out in Liverpool I suggested we extend the olive branch to the lad and have him come for a few drinks with us (they live up there).

After about a pint he miserably said he had to leave because "we agreed it would be better if I didn't drink as much, and I need to go home and snapchat a photo of the house to prove I'm not out".

"fucking hell, she's not changed, what's she up to tonight?"

"...she's on a night out with mates back home"

...mate.



Me and a latter girlfriend met the two of them a couple of years later, and old girlfriend was so transparently pissed off that I'd lost weight, gained confidence and had managed to get with a girl twice as attractive as her that she wasn't even able to keep to the subtle manipulation and was just outright hostile to the extent old friend was like "what the fuck is wrong with you?", when he's usually incredibly meek and pathetic.

[Spikey M]

They're getting married and you're licking strangers fart boxes. That's no short term donning.

[Danny]

Igor is clearly winning

[Lewis]

The other lad has the love of his life looking out for him, and Igor is still seething so much that he's making up reunions where he got the last laugh. Right okay.

[bruhnaldo]

They're getting married and you're licking strangers fart boxes. That's no short term donning.

Being stuck in a loveless relationship where you're basically whipped to bits while your "partner" is out fucking off on the town without you <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< a bit of string-less strange on a saturday

[niko_cee]

I'm still none the wiser a paragraph into that but I know he meant it now so that's enough.

:D

I reckon I must have read that definition a dozen times over the years whenever that or other modern offences are mentioned and I still have no real idea what it means.

[bruhnaldo]

Glad I'm not the only one who can't quite understand the concept of gaslighting even after reading the definition several times.

[Magic]

Still struggling with this. She's like talking to a brick wall sometimes. Doesn't ever seem happy. Saw her on Friday and she was just miserable company, admitting so when I left. Asked her if she would be better company yesterday (she's ill at the moment and seeemd annoyed at me not wanting to kiss her and risk getting ill) when she offered to come round and decided to be honest and tell her I was getting annoyed by her negative comments. She flipped it back at me angrily and haven't spoken to her since.

#ontheropes

I feel like not wanting to kiss someone who's clearly got a cough/throat issue isn't a bad thing? Am I wrong?

Get her to fuck. This instant. Life is too short for shit that. Bin bin bin.

[Spikey M]

My understanding of gaslighting is that it's essentially one member of a relationship being a manipulative cunt, with the end goal of alienating their partner from everyone else in their life.

[Magic]

To clarify, gaslighting is when you're well aware of the reality but skew it in your favour. I was a real master of actually believing my gaslight. Guess that's more delusion though.

[igor_balis]

The other lad has the love of his life looking out for him, and Igor is still seething so much that he's making up reunions where he got the last laugh. Right okay.

:D.

In fairness, I think it's worked out alright for both of us on balance. He seems genuinely happy with his life, and despite all of her flaws he's probably just about punching. He's so passive and meek that I think he genuinely prefers having some mental case managing his life. When he was single he was borderline insane most of the time.

There was a point about halfway through my relationship with her where'd I'd had enough and told her we needed to go on a break. We arranged to go for a drink about a week later to clear the air and see where things were, but she'd also arranged to see flatmate the same evening afterwards. Neither of us knew she was meeting the other.

When it got to the point of her leaving to meet him she insisted on me coming as well. We had the most awkward, emotionally charged couple of hours, which culminated in girl inviting me back to hers. Flatmate had obviously thought this was finally THE NIGHT where it was gonna happen, and he just totally lost the plot. Insisted that he was going to go clubbing on his own (despite it being about midnight on a Sunday), then once me and girl had gotten back to hers she got a stream of texts implying he was going to harm himself. We got a taxi back to mine/his, and he'd smashed loads of bottles and punched the mirror in his bedroom. He stormed out of the flat at about 3am, insisting he was getting a train home, launching a bottle of beer at a parked car in the process.

After that he had to spend a week back home "sorting himself out". Looking back I think I only stayed with her for the next 3 months out of spite. Clearly both of them were more well matched as a couple, but girl was too much of a pussy to break up with me and CLEARLY loved having the two of us fighting over her. When I finally did break up with her she cried and asked to have one last shag, lol no. They were officially a couple about a week later.

What a weird fucking year of my life that was.

[igor_balis]

My understanding of gaslighting is that it's essentially one member of a relationship being a manipulative cunt, with the end goal of alienating their partner from everyone else in their life.

Aye, but being so manipulative you actually make the other person lose grip of reality, and believe the version of the world they're creating.

[Giggles]

So, a cunt then.

[igor_balis]

OH, and she NEVER let me go anywhere near her bumhole, and her one USP (her GIANT tits) was totally nullified by the fact she was so insecure about them she NEVER took her bra off in front of me. I'm definitely winning.

[Manc]

Are you from rough ends?

[phonics]

Rugby's not rough it's just full of mongs.

[randomlegend]

When JayZ and Beyonce got engaged, do you reckon he spent two months calling her 'Fiance Knowles'? That's what I'd have done.

[bruhnaldo]

Get out.

[SincereTheRebel]

One of my friends who has been married for a number of years is as soft as porridge. His wife has a friend who was also married but is now divorved. My friend is now in a situion where he is taking his wife's freinds car to get it serviced and all the rest of it :face:

I can spot these type of issues well in advanced.

[Giggles]

He'll be riding the friend before the month is out.

[SincereTheRebel]

He isnt getting paid for his timeat all. They have him under lock and key. I never liked her from day one.

[Queenslander]

You should slide in?

[Raoul Duke]

She'll have new tires :drool:

[Bam]

Tires?

[randomlegend]

Tires?

PM Bam, he'll catch you up on the story

[Bam]

:saywhat:

[bruhnaldo]

i wanna laugh too. share with the class.

[Giggles]

Yeah answer his PM Bam innit.

[-james-]

I'm feeling completely hopeless about my brother. I've known he's had drug issues for a long time but he pretends it's alright and I do the same in the hope that he's able to clean him self up, but I've realised he's in deep and doesn't have anywhere near the maturity required to fix it. He's an addict surrounded by addicts and he doesn't know anything else. He's never going to be a functioning member of society.

He lives in England so I've thought of moving down but there are factors that make that difficult for me, and it probably wouldn't help anyway. Fully expecting him to die young.

[Offshore Toon]

Is he in Bristol? The risk in moving down is that nothing would change and you'd just end up falling out. Trying to babysit another man in situations like this is stressful as fuck and rarely appreciated. The kind of change required has to come from within. Once people get stuck in the spiral you can give everything but it needs to click in their head otherwise your efforts are pointless. Do you think he actually wants to change? If so, him moving near you could help.

[-james-]

Yeah he's in Bristol.

I think he wants to change but it's just beyond him. He's a full on crusty. Moving is the only thing I can imagine that would help, but we couldn't live together so he's still going to surround himself with the same people.

I just end up lecturing him all the time and it doesn't do any good. If I lived near him I could at least make him do some wholesome stuff.

[Lewis]

What's his problem then? Presumably you had similar upbringings. Is he just a knobhead?

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, Glasgow might not be the best place for somebody with a drug addiction. Does he have a diabolo?

Do your family know about his issues? Is there any reason why he can't move closer to somebody else? Or even get him into rehab?

[-james-]

He's a good person, he just has child-like decision making and impulse control.

I was drawn to drugs in the same way he is (my parents aren't wasteheads lol), he just lacks the common sense I had to not let them ruin my life.

[-james-]

Yeah, Glasgow might not be the best place for somebody with a drug addiction. Does he have a diabolo?

Do your family know about his issues? Is there any reason why he can't move closer to somebody else? Or even get him into rehab?


He goes to festivals every weekend over the summer and actually makes decent money doing glamping stuff (I'm about 95% sure this is the truth and he's not dealing drugs). Obviously that lifestyle is only going to encourage his use.

My parents don't really know. I'm seeing them in a couple of weeks and I'll probably tell them. I dunno how it'll help though and I'm worried that it will ruin his relationship with me.

Glasgow would be fine for him, I'd have him on my sofa for as long as he liked but he isn't interested.

[-james-]

I said I'd give him fifty quid if he could not do drugs for two days but he said he's been organising some weekend long rave so no thanks lol. Yeah he's a bellend.

[Offshore Toon]

There have to be some deeper rooted mental health issues so trying to get him to self-refer to a mental health clinic would be a start. A GP will just chuck him on anti-depressants to fob him off, which is unlikely to actually help. If he doesn't want the help, though, then for your own wellbeing if you've done all you can then I'd start to distance myself.

[Lewis]

Do we have anyone in the area who can chin him?

[igor_balis]

What's he addicted to, dino? Coke or smack I'm assuming, aye?

[-james-]

Some combination of speed/ket/benzos.

[igor_balis]

Oh shit, your brother is this meme:

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.18173-12/27157519_10155632048745376_932208628_n.png?_nc_cat =108&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=7478639a2e6701f5d1613561b8510b01&oe=5CBB3A34

I'd be more worried about how annoying his mates are gonna be and how shit his taste in music is gonna be with that venn diagram. Shit for you though, obviously. Is he the kind of SUPER FUN GUY on the surface masking the darkness beneath, or is he genuinely just obliviously content with his life? Of the three I'd probably be most worried about the benzos, they're no fucking joke. I stupidly went from occasionally having one of my mate's to help with my comedowns, to having my own stash, to just having them on random Wednesday nights to "help me sleep", but luckily managed to realise what I was doing and knocked it on the head before it got any worse.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Surely if he's serious about kicking it (doesn't sound like it with the response to the £50 offer) then surely burning bridges with him by telling your parents could be good in the long run. If it actually helps him sort it out he'll thank you later when he's had time to realise the help you've given him.

[Offshore Toon]

Turning down £50 isn't a big deal. If I had a weekend planned for ages and somebody popped up on Thursday offering me money to stay in there's no chance I'd do it.

[randomlegend]

Benzos are super addictive, but I'd be most worried about ket. That's some horrible shit that can leave you with life-changing side effects.

Edit: lol I've just remembered that a substance misuse psychiatrist told me if I was going to get addicted to something to make sure it was benzos.

[-james-]

Yeah, I know people in their early twenties who have to wear nappies because they've done too much ket.

He almost certainly needs professional help for the benzos though, he's definitely at the stage where quitting cold turkey would be very dangerous.

[bruhnaldo]

His best bet would be to fuck off to some remote place where he can't just get in contact with folks he knows for drugs.

But then it turns into "just having a beer at the bar tonight" which leads to meeting someone who happens to be into it and yuo're back to square one

[Magic]

Lol could have is she gonna bang doe'd a mental 19 year old student nurse but we're staying with her batshit father who basically pulled her out of my room. Seething. When I say out of my room she tiptoed in and got caught bonny. Had lip filler too so like getting head from a cod.

[Pepe]

Translation please.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think he fucked a fish.

[phonics]

Translation please.

Magic is handling the divorce with aplomb.

[Shindig]

Translation please.

She turned the ween against him.

[Spikey M]

Translation please.

He nearly fucked a retarded child but got cock blocked.

[Magic]

Hey she said I looked 23, isn't that all that matters.

[Shindig]

Not in court.

[Spikey M]

Hey she said I looked 23, isn't that all that matters.

Save it for your YouTube interrogation.

[igor_balis]

went on a night out in Birmingham yday with a 3 old friends, one male two female. might have gotten too drunk and told female friend 1 that i've basically been in love with female friend 2 for years. girl best friends definitely don't talk about that kind of thing though so i'm sure i'll be fine...:uhoh:

[Giggles]

went on a night out in Birmingham yday with a 3 old friends, one male two female. might have gotten too drunk and told female friend 1 that i've basically been in love with female friend 2 for years. girl best friends definitely don't talk about that kind of thing though so i'm sure i'll be fine...:uhoh:

Doesn't sound like you at all. Were you on a train?

[igor_balis]

Doesn't sound like you at all. Were you on a train?

get tested for autism

[Giggles]

get tested for autism

:D

Straight to the burns unit for me.

[Shindig]

get tested for autism

Why? So you two can have something in common?

[Magic]

Why? So you two can have something in common?

I sense jealousy.

[igor_balis]

Why? So you two can have something in common?

have you ever kissed a girl?

[Shindig]

Yeah. Need some tips? Kiss her on the face, not on the arse.

[Kikó]

That is fucking brilliant.

[Spikey M]

Igor on the ropes.

[Magic]

Shinners slaying harder than Igor's fake stories.

[SincereTheRebel]

Do any of you lot pay for services on a regualr basis? I ask becase I have paid for services in the past, but im thinking it will porbably be cheaper and less headache if I go down this route again. My sexual drive has slowed down completely now and it is probably best, if i get any sort of desire, I pay instead of leading her to heartbreak.

Edit: By regular, I mean about once a month.

[Magic]

I thought about it but I think the emotional damage and loneliness that would come afterwards would be worse than the current status quo of blueballs.

[SincereTheRebel]

Your in a different situation though Magic so I understand that. Surely someone on here has made or still makes purchases?

[SvN]

A couple of my friends have in the past. One of them nearly ruined their life because their bride-to-be found out about a month before the wedding. Fortunately for him, he was able to get her to believe that he didn't do anything. I think she knew, but convinced herself.

[bruhnaldo]

A lot of folks I used to talk to raved about it. "You're paying them to leave" they liked to say. No strings, bada-bing-bada-boom, voila. You're on with your day.

In fairness, I perused back when backpage was still a thing, but I couldn't personally get myself to make the call. Some fine looking specimens as well, though I never really considered the potential charge worth it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Doesn't Hennors get them on the regular after being shunned by Scoobs?

[Manc]

It's a slippery slope. Stay well clear.

[Mazuuurk]

Do any of you lot pay for services on a regualr basis? I ask becase I have paid for services in the past, but im thinking it will porbably be cheaper and less headache if I go down this route again. My sexual drive has slowed down completely now and it is probably best, if i get any sort of desire, I pay instead of leading her to heartbreak.

Edit: By regular, I mean about once a month.


Unless you're a certified mechanic, usually I think most people pay for service.
Keep the tyres fresh, like. It's important to stay safe.

[Spikey M]

It's a slippery slope. Stay well clear.

Depends how busy they've been.

[SincereTheRebel]

Unless you're a certified mechanic, usually I think most people pay for service.
Keep the tyres fresh, like. It's important to stay safe.

:D

[Bartholomert]

Lol could have is she gonna bang doe'd a mental 19 year old student nurse but we're staying with her batshit father who basically pulled her out of my room. Seething. When I say out of my room she tiptoed in and got caught bonny. Had lip filler too so like getting head from a cod.

This was legitimately indecipherable.

[Bartholomert]

Also just bang a fat girl sheesh, no need to pay for that sort of thing.

[Giggles]

I nearly did before, booked one and all, but it's cheaper to have a wank.

[SincereTheRebel]

Also just bang a fat girl sheesh, no need to pay for that sort of thing.

The ones i like, already have a rubber ring around their gut. The skinny ones cant do nothing for me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Would prostitutes have good tyres?

[mugbull]

It’s like paying for porn, you’re a real noob if you do that in this day and age

[igor_balis]

Having had a nice sleep and some fresh air today I can take my donning like a man. You deffo did me there Shindig. You'll need to maintain that level of #banter though if you're gonna insist on continuing to post sneering replies to 25% of all the posts I make; as soon as the laughter dries up it'll just seem like you have a weird obsession with me.

[Giggles]

It’s like paying for porn, you’re a real noob if you do that in this day and age

Won't you need a licence (or something similar) to watch porn in the UK soon?

[igor_balis]

Won't you need a licence (or something similar) to watch porn in the UK soon?

On the plus side it'll bring back the halcyon days of the excitement of finding abandoned grot mags in hedges and stuff.

[Giggles]

Having had a nice sleep and some fresh air today I can take my donning like a man. You deffo did me there Shindig. You'll need to maintain that level of #banter though if you're gonna insist on continuing to post sneering replies to 25% of all the posts I make; as soon as the laughter dries up it'll just seem like you have a weird obsession with me.

That started ok but didn't finish off sounding like someone taking it well at all. #seething

[igor_balis]

That started ok but didn't finish off sounding like someone taking it well at all. #seething

I don't mind a well placed zinger like the bum kissing remark, but if getting annoyed by someone repeatedly making weird comments when I post stuff means I'm seething than I'm gonna fucking seethe. As an aside, I don't mind it when you do it because you give out to everyone but Shindig's feels more stalkery.

[Giggles]

A cunt to all :cool:

[SincereTheRebel]

Given my currenty lifestyle, I think it will workout OK for me. Im diving back into the deepend lads. Fuck this.

[Pepe]

My wife asked me to proofread an abstract for her. I had to lol when I read this sentence:

In the last decade of the 16th century, a vicious civil war, led by the Duke of Mercoeur, rattled the former duchy of Brittany.

Adhering to the TTH style guide. :cool:

[Lewis]

Bit wordy for an abstract love.

[Pepe]

Based on the standards of academia, not nearly wordy enough.

[bruhnaldo]

Having had a nice sleep and some fresh air today I can take my donning like a man. You deffo did me there Shindig. You'll need to maintain that level of #banter though if you're gonna insist on continuing to post sneering replies to 25% of all the posts I make; as soon as the laughter dries up it'll just seem like you have a weird obsession with me.

lol dude ffs

[bruhnaldo]

The mental gymnastics that had to be done to "show everyone I'm not seething but also double down on my point" I mean you must be fucking exhausted.