The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Baz]

did you not message at like 8:30 saying wtf?

[mugbull]

Yeah i don’t know then. Maybe your dick was out when you saw the mutual friend

[igor_balis]

i was tempted but i couldn't trust myself to construct a message that didn't either a) come across super needy or b) come across bitter and aggressive. i thought the best bet was to just leave it.

if i actually liked her i'd be pretty gutted and would have definitely messaged her, but i'm really not arsed so i've no real reason to be annoyed other than an immature sense of being wronged.

[igor_balis]

it's more HOW DARE SHE DO THAT TO ME, than awww does this mean she don't wanna have sex with igor anymore :(

i think this is much worse tbh

[Baz]

I'm here with her now and she says you're a berk.

with a floppy willy

[igor_balis]

I ended up messaging her on the sunday, basically saying maybe not then lol, couldn't resist being a sarky twat. She replied "sorry hahaha we went back and watched love island and got too drunk". Shame, really. I didn't really want to shag her anymore but I had sort of considered her a decent mate, and she was always good value as a drinking companion even without the sex.

Now in the market for a new friends with benefits wreckhead. Might have to go Dundee and suck off Waff in exchange for lines.

[SincereTheRebel]

You don't want to be the sarky twat. It's unhealthy. I wouldn't recommend going to Dundee either

[Spikey M]

Being a snarky twat is one of life’s great pleasures.

[Giggles]

The single most.

[mugbull]

I ended up messaging her on the sunday, basically saying maybe not then lol, couldn't resist being a sarky twat. She replied "sorry hahaha we went back and watched love island and got too drunk". Shame, really. I didn't really want to shag her anymore but I had sort of considered her a decent mate, and she was always good value as a drinking companion even without the sex.

Now in the market for a new friends with benefits wreckhead. Might have to go Dundee and suck off Waff in exchange for lines.

Y sure you don’t wanna bang her? Sort of seems to me like you do

[bruhnaldo]

"I don't want to bang her but I mean COME ON!"

- https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/001/062/427/2f7.jpg

[SincereTheRebel]

Being a snarky twat is one of life’s great pleasures.

No sir. You have to learn to take and accept the loss.

[John]

No sir. You have to learn to take and accept the loss.

You still have little pops at Mahow for doing you out of a tenner about six months ago, and I think you got it back in the end anyway.

[igor_balis]

It's less that I want to bang her, more than I'm offended that she doesn't want to bang me. You don't fire me, I quit, etc.

[SincereTheRebel]

You still have little pops at Mahow for doing you out of a tenner about six months ago, and I think you got it back in the end anyway.

Im speaking about females. And it was £22 but with interest, it's now about £200 but thanks for the reminder.

[Kikó]

Two year wedding anniversary today 🤙

[SincereTheRebel]

Nice. What is the traditional gift after two years?

[SincereTheRebel]

Looks like after two years, you get cotton. Hopefully you don't have to pick it yourself.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Paper.

He can just get her a ream and she should be grateful.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Looks like after two years, you get cotton. Hopefully you don't have to pick it yourself.

That's American.

In the UK first one is cotton.

[wullie]

We did paper first year and then cotton this year, didn't realise it was the wrong way round as all the UK gift sites online seem to go with the US format. Next year is ice cream which I'm looking forward to.

[Kikó]

I'll get her a cotton t-shirt later today.

[wullie]

I went with romantic socks, with the main appeal of it being a matching set so really I've bought myself some new socks.

[SincereTheRebel]

How often do you have sexy time? Most of the people I know who are married, tell me it does not happen as often as I would expect which is daily.

[Giggles]

I'm happy to see we do it the American way.

[Baz]

We did paper first year and then cotton this year, didn't realise it was the wrong way round as all the UK gift sites online seem to go with the US format. Next year is ice cream which I'm looking forward to.Just to confirm, what is it meant to be for 2 years? Cos we did paper last year, so was indeed going for cotton this year.

PS what’s an actual good present for cotton?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Two years is paper in the UK.

[Spikey M]

Lol at you fucking weirdos paying attention to this shit.

[bruhnaldo]

It's just a bit of fun and i'm sure it actually saves on having to buy ridiculous jewelry or what have you every year?

[wullie]

https://i.imgur.com/pyoFQWs.jpg

If you can hack a full decade you get a year off

[SincereTheRebel]

That one is for the males that are married already. Only they can assist with thais one.

[Kikó]

How often do you have sexy time? Most of the people I know who are married, tell me it does not happen as often as I would expect which is daily.

Yes but you reduce from when you first meet. I think that's natural in all relationships.

[mugbull]

Compare how much you masturbate now to how much you masturbated when you were 14. Big shifts.

[SincereTheRebel]

Yes but you reduce from when you first meet. I think that's natural in all relationships.

Surely once you get married and live with each other, see each other every day. It should increase.


Compare how much you masturbate now to how much you masturbated when you were 14. Big shifts.

You masturbate more when you are younger but that's become nobody is there to do it for you.

[mugbull]

Also because you have less stress, responsibilities, hobbies...

[Spikey M]

Surely once you get married and live with each other, see each other every day. It should increase.



You masturbate more when you are younger but that's become nobody is there to do it for you.

You have a never ending supply of your favourite food in the fridge. For a while, it’s all you eat, but after a while you want to eat... this turned out to be a cheating metaphor. Abort.

[SincereTheRebel]

I can understand that sex may not be the most interment for husband and wife and they get satisfaction in other areas as you both have built a life together. But its really difficult to accept that is just slows down as the standard. Not wonder ive never met a happy husband and wife.

[Spikey M]

I know plenty. I’m happy and I hope my other half is.

*open goal*

[Kikó]

You've never met a happy couple? That's pretty shit.

[SincereTheRebel]

Its sounds farfetch'd but I do not know any married couple that is happy. I don't know many so the pool is small but they are either divorced or at each other's throats all day. People younger than me have been married and got divorced. Im putting it down the lack or decrease in sexual activity and also how most males that I know, do not consider their wife as their friend which is another problem.

It seems as if modern couples struggle to get along. It's scary and it sets a bad example for people like me who are scared to get married because I don't want those type of headaches. There are too many distractions.

[Kikó]

I think like any relationship, there are many that last and many that don't. If you don't get on with your partner or treat them like a friend, married or not it's not going to work.

You don't need to be married to have less sex and vice versa.

[mugbull]

Sincere, i can’t believe you’re 30 and still haven’t accepted the fact that you have less sex with someone after knowing them for 20 years than you did after knowing them for 20 days. I can’t imagine anything more obvious/normal

[mugbull]

That being said, if you’re not having sex at all, or if the sex isn’t fun anymore, then that does suck

[mugbull]

As an addendum, i know plenty of happy couples. The couples that are unhappy tend to be composed of individuals that would generally be unhappy with themselves if they were single too.

[igor_balis]

I think I want a girlfriend. It's been 5 years lads, I think I'm ready for some commitment.

[igor_balis]

I'd take diminishing returns relationship sex over my current NO SEX.

[SincereTheRebel]

Sincere, i can’t believe you’re 30 and still haven’t accepted the fact that you have less sex with someone after knowing them for 20 years than you did after knowing them for 20 days. I can’t imagine anything more obvious/normal

That's not normal or acceptable to me. If you are around your spouse more, it should increase. Not decrease. Seeing how it decreasing is considered normal, sounds like a problem.

I understand how the sexual drive can decrease with age, etc. But regardless of where you are or what you are doing, you would rather be curled up with your wife or husband (I hope)

[Queenslander]

Defintely does not work like that at all.

[SincereTheRebel]

Headache.

[wullie]

That's what she'll say a lot of the time, yeah.

[Kikó]

Or you will.

[Spikey M]

That's not normal or acceptable to me. If you are around your spouse more, it should increase. Not decrease. Seeing how it decreasing is considered normal, sounds like a problem.

I understand how the sexual drive can decrease with age, etc. But regardless of where you are or what you are doing, you would rather be curled up with your wife or husband (I hope)

Do you still play with your Action Man / Gameboy / Favourite childhood toy? No? Why not? Did the urge to do so not increase over time? Literally nothing (bar addictive substances) stays as interesting as it once was.

[SincereTheRebel]

This is your wife we are talking about here. Not a toy. If your wife isn't interesting anymore, that is what divorce for. Leave and move on. If you are not happy, leave and move . However, often couples are stuck together because of children, bills and other factors. Someone on here had an issue where they were stuck with their wife because her family was chronically ill. Sometimes you just cant leave. Even abusive relationships. Some people just cant leave the situation they are in.

I dont want to be in any of those postions. You man and others in my life are doing a great job convincing me that married life does not sound great at all.

[Spikey M]

Marriage has nothing to do with it and short of bouncing from fling to fling (or bagging Nympho) you are going to find that going at it hammer and tongs is never going to last. It’s actually pretty sad that your view of happiness in a relationship is tied THIS much to sex. Sex is great, We have it frequently enough to keep me (us) happy, but it isn’t at the forefront of my mind at all times.

[mo]

Marriage has nothing to do with it and short of bouncing from fling to fling (or bagging Nympho) you are going to find that going at it hammer and tongs is never going to last. It’s actually pretty sad that your view of happiness in a relationship is tied THIS much to sex. Sex is great, We have it frequently enough to keep me (us) happy, but it isn’t at the forefront of my mind at all times.

Spot on. Never mind marriage, but throw kids in the mix and you're lucky to be awake long enough a quickie every week.

[leedsrevolution]

I’d be happy with a handjob every week at the moment, Christ.

[John]

It's no big surprise that Sincere's understanding of relationships is roughly the same as those bellends from Inbetweeners.

[SincereTheRebel]

Need to figure out what it is about me, that attracts weirdo’s around me that are not happy.

[igor_balis]

Need to figure out what it is about me, that attracts weirdo’s around me that are not happy.

I'd high five that except it didn't take much effort to figure out why I attract them.

[mugbull]

Enjoy relationships for the lifelong companionship they provide, a love and a best friend. Obviously not every relationship will be that way all the time, but provided youre both not neurotic, you’ll be fine. And make sure she’s sexy and stays fit - the saddest thing is someone who lets themselves go. I can imagine it’s a tough position to be in to love someone and yet no longer be sexually attracted to them

[SincereTheRebel]

The look of her isn't the most important anymore. It's the personality which is the biggest factor.

[Queenslander]

Being able to laugh at herself is my missus best quality.

Edit: Although missus is a word that does wind her up.

[mugbull]

"My missus" is one of the few pieces of jargon common and unique to both Commonwealth 30-somethings and Southern Confederate sympathizers.

[Spikey M]

Yeah, Harpinder and Mohammed are always using ‘my missus’ (OI OI) in their vocabulary.

[mugbull]

I thought Harpinder was a girl name? Lesbian tier?

[Spikey M]

We don’t have them in the Commonwealth. Another thing we share with the Confeds.

[SincereTheRebel]

What really is starting to irritate me is when you see a girl for the first time and you start talking. I put my best moves on her and ask her for her number and he says

”are you on Instagram?”

I had the courage to come up and speak to you in real life and you want to put me in the bracket with those other simp’s on your Insta page? This has happened at least three times for me this year. Ive never took the Insta add (Im not on Insta). I keep it moving after that. The energy I get back, its not bad energy. I think they believe it's in their best interest to do everything via the gram. I want numbers to call directly.

[Dark Soldier]

You've probably just creeped them out.

Got a new missus, its going so damn well. Went back to hers on the second date and spent five of the last seven days there.

[Pepe]

How many limbs is she missing?

[SincereTheRebel]

You've probably just creeped them out.



They genuinely wanted to put me in the Instagram box. That is like the new standard way to communicate it seems.

[igor_balis]

Id be pleased if a girl let me put myself in any of their boxes atm. Tho got a tinder date on Thursday lads. Wish me luck.

[SincereTheRebel]

Id be pleased if a girl let me put myself in any of their boxes atm. Tho got a tinder date on Thursday lads. Wish me luck.

Go straight for the neck lad.

[Dark Soldier]

How many limbs is she missing?

Fully limbed for once.

Try Bumble lads, its legit.

[Waffdon]

A 31 year old in my team at work, who has the best bum ever, has decided to somewhat fall for me. She has two kids and a boyfriend (though it’s been rocky for years - clearly a wife beater). Text last week saying they’ve split up. I’m looking forward to being murdered and giving her another child.

She’s decent:-

https://i.imgur.com/DZijR81.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/0Osj3Gx.jpg

[Spoonsky]

That’s great. In a month you’ll have the kids’ names tattooed to your balls.

[Queenslander]

Terrifying.

[Shindig]

Rebound.

[Giggles]

She's shapey anyway.

[mugbull]

She's just uggo

[Giggles]

She's just uggo

If she had her two ankles pinned to her ears then there wouldn't be one thing wrong with it.

[Baz]

Posting her pic is top Waff behaviour. :D

I’m sure she’s nice enough. The one on the right would have been better though.

[Magic]

Lol at Trina.

[igor_balis]

Quality

[Mazuuurk]

The middle one looks like the one who will end up murdering you, Waff.

She's got a proper maternal-fat-gangster-slag vibe going on.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Posting her pic is top Waff behaviour. :D

I’m sure she’s nice enough. The one on the right would have been better though.

This.

[Magic]

The middle one looks like the one who will end up murdering you, Waff.

She's got a proper maternal-fat-gangster-slag vibe going on.

She's not.

[leedsrevolution]

She’s orite. Some of you are right picky.

[Bam]

Does Magic know this girl?

[Magic]

Yes.

[Waffdon]

Hahahahahhaahha. Unbelievable scenes. The other is her sister who is indeed younger and better. She’s better in person though.

[bruhnaldo]

"best bum ever"

posts picture of a piece of plywood

[bruhnaldo]

And why the fuck do they not brush their hair? Is the "I just got fucked in the closet" look 'in' across the pond?

[Kikó]

It's Dundee tbf

[Magic]

Carnoustie m9.

[Shindig]

And why the fuck do they not brush their hair? Is the "I just got fucked in the closet" look 'in' across the pond?

Britain has wind. Florida does not. (Better cover my arse with some sort of hurricane reference. Oops)

[Dark Soldier]

For what its worth I'd slay fuck out of her Waff.

[Pleb]

Scenes.

[leedsrevolution]

For what its worth I'd slay fuck out of her Waff.

Can you even get it up with all the antidepressants you're on?

[SincereTheRebel]

Dont pull out Waff.

[Dark Soldier]

Can you even get it up with all the antidepressants you're on?

Wrecked more fanny than you've had pints lad.

[Waffdon]

Dont pull out Waff.

Of course not.

[leedsrevolution]

Wrecked more fanny than you've had pints lad.

You haven't wanked the amounts of pints I've had.

[Dark Soldier]

That reads like you've drank many, many pints of spunk mate. Not judging, whatever gets you through the day.

[leedsrevolution]

That's exactly how it was meant to read. Have you not tried, my complexion is radiating.

[Magic]

DS/LR exchanges really light my fire.

[SincereTheRebel]

I truly believe older women are better than young ones (of age!). An experienced woman performs better in every area.

[Mazuuurk]

Did you just get spanked by a Milf and had an epiphany, or what?

[bruhnaldo]

Britain has wind. Florida does not. (Better cover my arse with some sort of hurricane reference. Oops)

We also have 95% humidity but you don't see these broads out here looking ridiculous

[SincereTheRebel]

Did you just get spanked by a Milf and had an epiphany, or what?

I don't know what epiphany means so ill take it as you being offensive. Fuck off.

[Mazuuurk]

It means you've realized you actually like to be dominated and maybe hurt a little, like the little bitch you are.


Take that how you will, of course. I'm not judging, man.

[Bam]

Yes.

Well you had best not tell Trina that Waff is posting pictures of her and her family on a FM message board then, you defiantly shouldn't send her a link to that last page.

[Magic]

I defiantly won't.

[Bam]

That's defiantly a good idea.

[Waffdon]

I don’t know the girl he knows and they’re certainly not family.

[Bam]

:henn0rz:

[Magic]

They probably are. Inbred cunts.

[Spikey M]

We also have 95% humidity but you don't see these broads out here looking ridiculous

Looking (and sounding) ridiculous is the only thing your broads have.

[igor_balis]

jeez mj linking anything on here to someone in real life would be mutually assured destruction

[igor_balis]

Also girl was leaving bank, thought I recognised her. Realised she looked a bit like a girl I matched on tinder. Messaged asking if she was just at my work and she was like "OMG ITS YOU!!".

Asked if she fancied a drink Friday, said she was out with work colleagues. Said I'd message her when she got back from uni at Xmas or she could message me when out cus I'll be out Friday anyway, she politely said yeah but I assumed thatd be that.

She just messaged me saying she'll meet me at 10 when she's finished with work people. Agreeing to meet me after drinking (and already knowing what I look like)...surely a shag right??

[Bam]

Erm, probably not.

[igor_balis]

will you shag me

[Bam]

Erm, probably not.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She would definitely be up for a game of hide the chorizo, Igor.

[Shindig]

My main problem with Igor is he sounds like it's always his first time.

"I met this lass and then we talked about things so i sed this and then she sed dat and we sed yes so now i'm just waiting to see if she shows up for the thing or not or not."

Followed by, "she didnt text me in two days so its prbably overr. met another internet lass who says she likes me aywayz,lol."

[Bam]

And he has a large foreskin with a small penis, which probably doesn't help him.

[igor_balis]

Honestly I have the right level of low self esteem that it's hugely exciting whenever a girl shows any interest. Plus no internal monologue.

[igor_balis]

Large foreskin and slightly below average penis*

[Bam]

Large foreskin and slightly below average penis*


Oh yeah, :lewis:

[Baz]

Also girl was leaving bank, thought I recognised her. Realised she looked a bit like a girl I matched on tinder. Messaged asking if she was just at my work and she was like "OMG ITS YOU!!".

Asked if she fancied a drink Friday, said she was out with work colleagues. Said I'd message her when she got back from uni at Xmas or she could message me when out cus I'll be out Friday anyway, she politely said yeah but I assumed thatd be that.

She just messaged me saying she'll meet me at 10 when she's finished with work people. Agreeing to meet me after drinking (and already knowing what I look like)...surely a shag right??100%.

[bruhnaldo]

Looking (and sounding) ridiculous is the only thing your broads have.

You all say things like "fanny", I'm not bothered by this critique whatsoever.

Besides, imagine comparing that broken gypsy girl to one of the finest women Florida has to offer. A dios mio papacito.

[mugbull]

Britain has pretty much the least attractive women of any nation on Earth, you can't compare it to the beauty Latinas

[Bam]

Yank birds are on mass fat slags.

[mugbull]

Dunno what that sentence means

[Spikey M]

It means you should have been a wank.

[igor_balis]

three dates in 6 days, date number one has bailed tonight. if all three flake i'm calling the fucking romanian.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:drool:

I'm really hoping that happens, you two are perfect for each other.

[Waffdon]

Ended up necking on with the aforementioned Mother and work colleagues after work today. The uproar tomorrow when we were inevitably caught.

[Pleb]

Well done you had a threesome.

[Pepe]

Colleagues he says, so at least a foursome. Waff. :cool:

[igor_balis]

Going on a date with a 19 year old Italian au pair on Sunday, lolz.

[Pleb]

Another tinder date then? :cool:

[Kikó]

And pics.

[Shindig]

The date will get cancelled when one of the kids gets shaken.

[phonics]

Igor added me on FB and a rogue like gave away that he was stalking through photos so I did the same and I can see how he pulls the Tinder birds now but he was getting up to these hijinks years ago when, no offense Chess-Friend, you looked like the urban dictionary picture for 'fat emo'.

Now you're looking bae as fuck. Ignore Richard Ashcroft mate, the drugs are working.

[igor_balis]

Phonics :wub:


Anyway, lads. I'm meeting this girl 2ish, we've agreed thus far on "a drink" and dinner, any suggestions on stuff to do?

I'd be happy to just drink from when we meet until we get dinner, but normal people seem to like, i dunno, doing things. If we were meeting later I'd just suggest drink, dinner, more drinks, but the ~3pm-6pm slot might require more finesse.

[Ian]

This is miles off whatever my areas of expertise are but if she's agreed "A drink" hours before dinner surely she knows more than one drink is happening?

[igor_balis]

This is true but she's foreign mate fuck knows what's going through her crazy head. Also being 19 and Italian means she's gonna be no fucking use on the pub quiz machine.

[Disco]

This is miles off whatever my areas of expertise are but if she's agreed "A drink" hours before dinner surely she knows more than one drink is happening?

Dangerously close to applying logic there sir, an easy trap to fall into.

[Spikey M]

Maybe she thinks lunch is called dinner like our northern contingent.

[igor_balis]

TBH I don't really like ACTIVITY dates, especially on a first date, so I'm hoping the multiple drinks thing has been assumed by my goomah, but I'd just quite like some sorta backup if I sense that ain't the vibe. What the fuck do people even do, though? I'm not going fucking ice skating.

[SvN]

Mini golf was always the obvious choice when I was a young 'un. Especially during the day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're going on a date with a 19 year old Italian au pair, and you're asking TTH what to do?

/kilroy

[igor_balis]

:lol:

[Pleb]

Send her to an Italian restaurant then.

IDK but don't send her to Spoons for fuck sake.

[Spikey M]

I think he’s planning on going with her.

[Kikó]

Play it cool.

[phonics]

Who arranges for a first date at 2pm? That's such an odd time. Just after you could meet for lunch but wayyyy too long till dinner/drinks without getting blackout in the interim.

It's suspicious. I say that as someone who hasn't gone out on a date in... 3 years maybe? So you know I'm right.

[igor_balis]

Who arranges for a first date at 2pm? That's such an odd time. Just after you could meet for lunch but wayyyy too long till dinner/drinks without getting blackout in the interim.

It's suspicious. I say that as someone who hasn't gone out on a date in... 3 years maybe? So you know I'm right.

Ha well I'm working Saturday, so said we could meet 5ish or do Sunday and she said she preferred earlier Sunday. I'd have rather done Saturday evening.

[Boydy]

Go to a pub that has pool tables.

[Shindig]

And then bend her over one. LAD.

[phonics]

Go to a pub that has pool tables.

Pool is a very good option. I am stealing this idea. As long as you can not be that arsehole telling them how to take every shot, you're in.

[niko_cee]

If you're meeting up at 2 on a Sunday can you not just go for a [Sunday] lunch in a pub?

[phonics]

The foods a bit heavy for post meal coitus.

[igor_balis]

If you're meeting up at 2 on a Sunday can you not just go for a [Sunday] lunch in a pub?

Not a bad shout. And I dunno about coitus, maybe some heavy petting.

[SincereTheRebel]

So I went on a date last night. First official date Ive been in a long time. Im testing the route of an older female. It didn't go well. I got to the restaurant on time and she arrived late. That isn't a big deal and I can overlook that.

First thing I noticed, is when she pulled up, she had bald tires on her car. So I knew from the start, this is a sloppy female who does not take care of herself. Immediately I expected things to end badly.

Within 20 minutes of speaking to her, she is bringing up her old bad relationships with her previous partners. I really don't want to hear those stories at all, and im being informed on the first date.

I know im really harsh on females, and im trying not to treat them differently based on the things they say or do but it is difficult.

I told her at the end night it was a new experience for me and I didn't really like the evening. She was OK with it though. I was expecting a breakdown.

I got a text this morning asking ”What didn't you like about me?”

[Giggles]

People who say the word 'females' are sex offenders in waiting.

[Kikó]

Sounds like the worst date ever. Restaurant doesn't strike me as first date material. Bar is better as you're less bound by the rules of the table (and can fuck off to the bar if it's awkward).

[Spikey M]

I know im really harsh on females, and im trying not to treat them differently based on the things they say or do but it is difficult.


Wut.

[niko_cee]

Is 'bald tires' some sort of euphemism I'm not familiar with in that context, or are you actually judging someone on the tires (tyres) on their car? That's beyond mental.

[Foe]

Pics or it didn't happen.

Yeah, judging her by her tyres (how close were you to her car ffs?) is pretty harsh.

You going to respond?

[SincereTheRebel]

Yes, bald tires. Tires on the car were bald. Clearly, she for bot value her own life. How do you think she will value mine.

I text her back saying, I just don't like you. First impressions are everything and the attitude and personality were just not nice to be around.

[niko_cee]

:D

Fucks' sake mate.

[Foe]

You've adequately ruined her weekend. Congratulations.

At least tell her to change her tyres for the sake of her future relationships.

[Spikey M]

This makes Lewis' bald hating look like nothing. Up your game Lou.

[Shindig]

Did you at least wish her a happy Christmas?

[Lewis]

I lolled out loud at that tyres bit.

[Pepe]

With winter coming, the bald tyres hate seems fully justified.

[Spoonsky]

igor_balis how was the Italian?

[Giggles]

Ah shite.

[igor_balis]

igor_balis how was the Italian?

Whilst building up the courage to bail she bailed. The morning of the date I was hungover and I felt like getting a train to milton keynes to hang out with an 18 year old (even younger than you!!) was a fucking shit idea, seemingly she thought similarly about getting a bus to milton keynes to see me.

I'm currently chatting on tinder to a half Finnish half Israeli American who seems quite cool though. She's 27, studying to be a human rights lawyer and only lives 5 minutes away on the train. Might not mention Corbyn.

Hows your love life spoony?

[Spoonsky]

I'm with my girlfriend for 10 months now. (She's also Israeli-American so I can vouch for that.) So... nice but boring.

[mugbull]

i like how open everyone on TTH is with their autism

[Queenslander]

SincereTheRebel Are you a fan of Jordan Peterson?

[Waffdon]

Milf from work said she has feelings for me. I like her but it was only meant to be a bit of fun. She is getting better looking by the day now she’s not depressed though and her body is honestly incredible right now.

Step kids :drool:

https://i.imgur.com/xdCpbZf.jpg

[Queenslander]

Jesus

[Spikey M]

This place is a fucking nut house.

[Waffdon]

It’s only right my Fathers of the Internet see who their Son is busting a nut inside!

[Spikey M]

I'm not sure introducing a father-son dynamic is ideal considering the questionable decision to post a picture of someones kids.

[Mazuuurk]

This place is a fucking nut house.

You can say that twice.


Or, over and over and over.

[SincereTheRebel]

SincereTheRebel Are you a fan of Jordan Peterson?

I dont know who that is. Why do you ask?

[Queenslander]

He is a life coach/daddy for a lot men on the internet. Gives out lot of advice about getting ones life together etc and your critique about that poor womans tyres came across as something Jordan Peterson would say.

[igor_balis]

I love this place so much.

[Pepe]

Waffelz is donning it.

[Baz]

I'm not sure introducing a father-son dynamic is ideal considering the questionable decision to post a picture of someones kids.:rolleyes:

[randomlegend]

Posting a picture of some woman's kids is pretty fucked up tbh...

[Pleb]

Milf from work said she has feelings for me. I like her but it was only meant to be a bit of fun. She is getting better looking by the day now she’s not depressed though and her body is honestly incredible right now.

Step kids :drool:

https://i.imgur.com/X5E8sZm.jpghttps://i.imgur.com/xdCpbZf.jpg
Fit.

[phonics]

Waff I'll take you on a double date with the blonde.

[Manc]

Is bald tyres a euphemism?

[Mazuuurk]

My best guess so far as to what Sincere must mean with it is "Shaved balls"

[Waffdon]

Waff I'll take you on a double date with the blonde.

She’s not the best so she is all yours, Sir. Bought some quality Ribeye Steaks for her to cook for tea as well as some white wine. Living the high life x

Red is far superior but it’s her favourite so I’ll have a Capri Sun or two instead.

[Baz]

Posting a picture of some woman's kids is pretty fucked up tbh...Why? Chances are they’re readily available on social media anyway.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah which she put up there.

I doubt she'd have given permission to post pictures of her kids on an forum of the off-topic discussion of a football manager forum.

[SvN]

We're not a football manager forum.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We're not a football manager forum.

The off topic section of a football manager forum.

[niko_cee]

We're just a weird little corner of internet nowadays.

Like a window into the past.

[randomlegend]

Why? Chances are they’re readily available on social media anyway.

Well plenty of people have their profiles set to only be visible to friends.

In the same way she probably displays photos of her kids in her house but wouldn't want them plastered on the wall of a public bog.

[Pleb]

How close is this to a full blown meltdown?

[randomlegend]

Errr, not very?

[Pepe]

Everyone is just jealous of Waffelz and her ting.

[Manc]

Can we link her. Magic?

[Baz]

Is a milf strictly anyone with a child? I feel like a milf should look at least 40.

[Shindig]

By definition, they can be mothers of any age.

[phonics]

Is a milf strictly anyone with a child? I feel like a milf should look at least 40.

I believe that has been defined under 'Mature'.

[Baz]

In the same way she probably displays photos of her kids in her house but wouldn't want them plastered on the wall of a public bog.I knew I'd seen her before!

https://i.imgur.com/mTkAuQV.png

[Pleb]

Baz you twat :D

[Giggles]

I believe that has been defined under 'Mature'.

Where's the 'mature'?

[Kikó]

Run a mile waffles.

[SincereTheRebel]

Get your pimp on waff. I want older women too. If she has children, even better. Women my age and younger that I attract, can't do a thing for me.

[Waffdon]

Run a mile waffles.

No, hun x

[wullie]

Wife's pregnant, so I'm adding DILF to my email signature from June onwards

[Ian]

Wullie. :cool:

Which Coventry City legend are going to be naming the baby after?

[wullie]

I'm floating Steph Ogrizovic in the discussion early doors

[phonics]

Just go with Michael/Michel and don't tell her it's dedicated to the Maltese Messi.

[wullie]

Marcus is a contender, although there's the fear that it would grow up thinking it's after Tudgay rather than Hall and I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

[Raoul Duke]

Congratulations, la

[Foe]

Wife's pregnant, so I'm adding DILF to my email signature from June onwards

The future of TTH is being secured. Congrats.

[Shindig]

Marcus is a contender, although there's the fear that it would grow up thinking it's after Tudgay rather than Hall and I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

Rico(h) might be the worst option I can think of.

[Pepe]

I hope he inherits those paint skills. :drool:

[Manc]

Someone do the honours.

[Giggles]

Rennie.

[John]

Mustapha.

[Spikey M]

Freddy-Eastwood Wullie.

[phonics]

Wullie, if TTH can raise enough money for a charity of your choice between now and the birth, can we get naming rights? We could have you on BBC Breakfast explaining your viral success in weeks.

[Panda Bear]

I'm with my girlfriend for 10 months now. (She's also Israeli-American so I can vouch for that.) So... nice but boring.I wouldn't be able to handle being friends with an Israeli let alone date one unless they were critical of their country's ongoing occupation of Palestine and the associated human rights abuses.

[Ian]

I hope he inherits those paint skills. :drool:

We must be due another of these threads. Maybe just for the sporting year seeing as we never bothered for the World Cup.

[phonics]

We must be due another of these threads. Maybe just for the sporting year seeing as we never bothered for the World Cup.

Every time people have tried to recreate the legend it's failed miserably.

[Baz]

I wouldn't be able to handle being friends with an Israeli let alone date one unless they were critical of their country's ongoing occupation of Palestine and the associated human rights abuses.
I know right. On top of that, imagine if she had bald tyres too!

[Manc]

Almost got a laugh. Almost.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'You're looking gorgeous tonight, but... darling, it's the Golan Heights.'

[niko_cee]

That sounds like something Jeremy Corbyn might have once said. Probably not to Dianne Abbott though.


I know right. On top of that, imagine if she had bald tyres too!

:D

Good work.

[Ian]

Every time people have tried to recreate the legend it's failed miserably.

There have been at least two decent MS Paint threads* that I remember so that's just not true, is it?

*By which I mean 'threads that Wullie bossed and a couple of other people added decent additions in."

[igor_balis]

I wouldn't be able to handle being friends with an Israeli let alone date one unless they were critical of their country's ongoing occupation of Palestine and the associated human rights abuses.

My zionist babe cancelled on me cus of uni work (4th straight tinder date that's bailed last minute, i can't rule it out as shit personality or ugliness cus they were aware of that when they agreed to the dates initially, still gonna stick with bad luck unless it happens another couple of times), so I'm in the clear.

I am mates with an Israeli bloke though; me, my mate that slept in the bed of mugbull's flatmate and the fella ended up left in the same msn multi-convo and bonded over an interest in 80s indie and electronica. Absolute freak, but in a really endearing way. When we asked his taste in music he sent us both a notepad document that listed his favourite 50 or so bands, that he clearly just had there in case anyone asked that very question. Despite being 16, me and my mate visited his flat in Brondesbury and smoked weed with him (I had a freakout, stabbed a philosophy textbook with a pair of scissors and got into a taxi and asked the driver to take me back to normality), and when we arrived he asked if I smoked, and when I said I did he opened his bedside cabinet and gave me two 20 decks from what must have been a pile of about 1000 fags.

I don't know much about his politics, but occasionally he'd skype me from work once he'd moved back home, on the reception desk of a really grotty hotel in Tel Aviv, smoke a joint and tell me about all the old Jewish blokes bringing Arab prostitutes there (roughly 80% of the custom). He keeps trying to get me to move to Münster to get a job in the same call-centre as him, despite the fact I can't speak German. I feel like I'd excuse any batshit Zionist opinions just cus he's such a total mentalcase.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You need to write a Hunter S Thompson style novel.

[Shindig]

Every time people have tried to recreate the legend it's failed miserably.

Great Brexit Moments in MS Paint has some legs.

[Pepe]

I got some grant money to do research for the Israeli Ministry of Defense, but I never did the research. Does that make me a hero?

[Spikey M]

It makes you Mexican.

[phonics]

I got some grant money to do research for the Israeli Ministry of Defense, but I never did the research. Does that make me a hero?

Like Robin Hood meets BDS.

[Vercetti]

RIP Pepe.

[Spoonsky]

I wouldn't be able to handle being friends with an Israeli let alone date one unless they were critical of their country's ongoing occupation of Palestine and the associated human rights abuses.

Me too.

[Giggles]

They're argumentative but they're nice people.