The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Waffdon]

At our school there was a rumour that the 40-something female deputy head (who always wore a scarf even in hot weather) did so because she constantly had lovebites from 'hooking up' with the sixth form boys who did rowing (which is a sport associated with big, swinging dicks for some reason). This rumour was always dismissed as completely implausible, until it emerged she literally had shagged one (but just after he left school which I think made it technically OK).

She was a fantastic shag, to be fair. She was far too clingy though.

[Waffdon]

On a lighter note, the girl I’m ‘seeing’ was raped on New Years Day. Wonderful stuff.

[Magic]

Jesus Christ mate that's terrible. So sorry to hear.

[Waffdon]

She doesn’t live here, which makes it worse. Dunno why I’m bothering.

The guys admitted it on text, so it’s just a case of the police arresting him - he’s got four charges including Rape and Sexual Assault against him.

[Baz]

Is he a kickboxer?

[Baz]

If you haven’t used the app PostSnap before you can download it from the AppStore here:

Postsnap: The Postcard App by Postsnap Group Ltd https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/postsnap-the-postcard-app/id650814139?mt=8

Create your own personalised Valentine’s Day card and it’ll be delivered free of charge when you use the code CUPID at checkout.

Also there’s a bit where you can enter a referral code. Not sure if you benefit from it but if you don’t mind entering 77A439 when you sign up*, I would appreciate it.

*You don’t have to sign up if you use Apple Pay.

[Spikey M]

Fucking bots

[John]

To think Baz 'negged' me when I said half his posts were designed to make him money in some way.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I wonder if there's a site he doesn't have an affiliate/referrer account with.

[Baz]

I’ve already deleted the app so I don’t even know why I bothered.:baz:

[Spoonsky]

I'm going out with that friend now. It's been a secret for two weeks but today we told all our friends. I'm very happy :)

[mugbull]

My boy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tenner says marriage.

[Spoonsky]

This sort of thing is how people end up getting married, isn't it? Terrifying.

[igor_balis]

i want a girlfriend

[Pepe]

First wife in the bag. Keep them coming Spoons. :cool:

[igor_balis]

cunt won't show me pics on facebook :(

[Magic]

This sort of thing is how people end up getting married, isn't it? Terrifying.

No.

[Spikey M]

This sort of thing is how people end up getting married, isn't it? Terrifying.

Yeah, but if you regret it at least you can marry others too.

[Giggles]

Do you mean divorce or can the moomins do multiple?

[Waffdon]

I accidentally went home with an ex on Saturday. She cray cray. Tastes good though.

[Kikó]

Vomited a little.

[McAvennie]

I accidentally went home with an ex on Saturday. She cray cray. Tastes good though.

Accidentally? Did you run her over and not notice til she fell off the bonnet at home?

[Mazuuurk]

First wife in the bag. Keep them coming Spoons. :cool:

Fuck me what did you do to her? :serious:

Got your permit ey and that was that.

[Byron]

I'm pretty sure that Waff post has given me cancer.

Death would be an acceptable alternative to ever reading that again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All I'm getting out of it is that he kidnapped her, killed her, cannibalised her and the resulting meal tasted a bit like crayfish.

[Disco]

Or Crayfish Supper as the scotch like to call it.

[Waffdon]

Hahahahaha. I was drunk and off my face and bumped into her for the first time in six months. Should have ignored her but whatever. Hopefully it’s another six months before I see her again.

I left everyone at a 30th in another club to go meet a Tinder girl and somehow managed going home with an absolute belter.

[Magic]

Chowing down on a bird after a night out. :sick:

[Greg]

What's the plan for Valentines Day lads?

I've only bought a card so far, and I'll be taking the other half out to a restaurant we went to early on in our relationship that we only went to because our first choice was packed. It ended up being a great feed so we're going back.

[McAvennie]

cooking dinner at home for my wife, followed by an early night as I have to drive to Scotland the next day starting out at 5am

I'm a real romantic 😍

[Pepe]

Nothing. :cool:

[Giggles]

I'm heading for the south west for two nights.

[Disco]

The South West of Ireland right?

[Giggles]

The South West of Ireland right?

Indeed. West Cork.

I wouldn't put up with an airport for only two nights.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm heading for the south west for two nights.

Where's she going?

[Giggles]

Where's she going?

The south west.

Of Ireland.

[Disco]

Indeed. West Cork.

I wouldn't put up with an airport for only two nights.

One of the least likely TTH meets will need to wait then.

[Giggles]

One of the least likely TTH meets will need to wait then.

We've actually been thinking about Cornwall, etc for the summer hols. We've never done a scenic part of England and the weather is supposed to be good in the summer.

[SvN]

We're not even doing cards this year, but we are spending the day out together and then going out for a meal in the evening.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nothing, I'm not a puppet.

But I am lonely :(

[Pleb]

I'm working :sherlock: :moop:

[Giggles]

Better yet, it's turning into one of those weeks next week that no time off can be afforded.

Wednesday evening - out the fucking door :cool: :drool:

[Kikó]

Pizza and a film in the house I think. I'll get some roses as usual.

[igor_balis]

So lads, there's this girl at work....

[Spikey M]

Mental. They’re allowed to vote these days and all sorts.

[Pleb]

So lads, there's this girl at work....
Rate her out of ten for us then?

[Spikey M]

I’d give ‘er one. Ayyyyy.

[Waffdon]

So lads, there's this girl at work....

18 year old me woke up on the sofa of a 40+ year old, overweight work colleague of mines one time with her on the opposite couch staring into my soul.

Horrific memories.

[Magic]

I bought a voucher for a pizza place for Valentines, but it's not valid on Valentine's day.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You old romantic.

[Waffdon]

I bought a voucher for a pizza place for Valentines, but it's not valid on Valentine's day.

Should get ‘mug’ tatted on your forehead for sticking with her. I must have walked by her a good 4/5 times in the last few months. Vermin.

[leedsrevolution]

I don't acknowledge Valentine's Day as a thing. No cards no nothing, not even a good morning kiss and that shit is free. It's bull shit and I won't have anything to do with it. Missus would probably like some kind of acknowledgement but she knows the deal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

God bless TTH, where someone can call another man's wife 'vermin' in response to his Valentine's plans and receive only knowing nods.

[Giggles]

I don't acknowledge Valentine's Day as a thing. No cards no nothing, not even a good morning kiss and that shit is free. It's bull shit and I won't have anything to do with it. Missus would probably like some kind of acknowledgement but she knows the deal.

That's just being a cunt to her for the sake of being a cunt. Wouldn't do you one bit of harm.

[Raoul Duke]

We're going to Amsterdam for a few days.

So, hookers and drugs it is.

[leedsrevolution]

That's just being a cunt to her for the sake of being a cunt. Wouldn't do you one bit of harm.

I absolutely disagree. I told her from day 1 never to expect fuck all on Valentine's Day. We will fuck maybe, if she doesn't have a headache.

I hate Valentine's Day and cards, any type of cards.. Don't send em, don't want them. Waste of money and time.

[Giggles]

Ah, so long as you layed down the law then it's all ok.

Stop trying to be a fucking meat head and get her a card if she wants a fucking card. It's not making you a big man if you don't.

[leedsrevolution]

Ah, so long as you layed down the law then it's all ok.

Stop trying to be a fucking meat head and get her a card if she wants a fucking card. It's not making you a big man if you don't.

Nah, that's bullshit. I am a fat blonde kid who looks like tubes, for a start. But she don't care. Nevertheless. I have principles and I won't have anything to do with Valentine's Day. I genuinely don't care about her opinion on it, quite frankly. Why should I?

[leedsrevolution]

I've read that back and it sounded harsh. I made it clear I will have nothing to do with it from day one, why should I change my principles.

[Giggles]

I've read that back and it sounded harsh. I made it clear I will have nothing to do with it from day one, why should I change my principles.

Because you said that she'd like it. And it's not like she's looking you to chop off a limb or anything, just buy a £2 card. It would be nice and she'd be happy.

[Magic]

Should get ‘mug’ tatted on your forehead for sticking with her. I must have walked by her a good 4/5 times in the last few months. Vermin.

Fucking hell? :D

[Waffdon]

Love you x

[randomlegend]

'Vermin', jesus christ :D

That and Magic's response has had me lolling for a good minute.

[Baz]

Ignoring Valentine’s Day because the 23rd is our ten year “anniversary” (of when I asked her to be my girlfriend lol).

Good timing eh.

[mo]

Have never had to do Valentines day. Bliss.

[Spikey M]

We’re going for lunch somewhere tomorrow and I’ve bought the mrs some clothes she asked for.

Can’t say I understand the great moral stand some people have against Valentines Day, but LR isn’t the first time I’ve encountered it.

No fuckin’ card company’s ‘avin me say nice shit to my other ‘alf, just so they can boost their profit margin!!!!

It’s usually the Harold’s of this world, rather than dippy, pissed up northerners, but there we are.

[igor_balis]

Been chatting to this American girl on tinder, she seems cool and interesting and she's quite pretty. Once she'd agreed she'd like to meet up, I noticed it said "I might be taller than you" on her bio. She's bloody six feet tall, and I'm 5'9''. Luckily she's absolutely unfazed by that, and said it's only ever an issue if blokes are weird about it themselves. I went on a date with a 5'11'' girl before and it took about 30 seconds to get used to. However, a few days after agreeing to go for drinks on Wednesday, it's just occurred to me what Wednesday is. Oops. Oh well.

[Pleb]

This is a great read lads...keep it up.

[Queenslander]

I cant say I know anyone apart from teenagers and tragic sheilas in their 20's who take it that seriously.

[-james-]

We're going to Celtic vs Zenit on Thursday.

[Spikey M]

Been chatting to this American girl on tinder, she seems cool and interesting and she's quite pretty. Once she'd agreed she'd like to meet up, I noticed it said "I might be taller than you" on her bio. She's bloody six feet tall, and I'm 5'9''. Luckily she's absolutely unfazed by that, and said it's only ever an issue if blokes are weird about it themselves. I went on a date with a 5'11'' girl before and it took about 30 seconds to get used to. However, a few days after agreeing to go for drinks on Wednesday, it's just occurred to me what Wednesday is. Oops. Oh well.

American women :sick:

Abort.

[Bam]

Sheilas. :D

Sheila goes out with her mate Stella,
It gets poured all over her fella.

[Giggles]

I still don't know what next Wednesday is. Was Igor meant to tell us?

[Spikey M]

Valentines. You’re going away for it.

[Giggles]

Valentines. You’re going away for it.

Ah yes, I had Ash Wednesday in my head and was wondering why that mattered.

We're doing Thurs to Sun instead as she has midterm.

[igor_balis]

Spent the afternoon with and shagged someone I work with today. I am going to choose to believe this isn't going to end badly.

[Bam]

He's going to tell everyone you work with that you have a micro penis. :spikey:

[-james-]

He's going to tell everyone you work with that you have a micro penis. :spikey:

Got em!

[Kikó]

Bam is BACK!

[Giggles]

Answer your PM's Bam.

[Pleb]

What a time to be alive.

[Spammer]

Got Ms Hammer a card and we're off to some vegetarian restaurant that i reckon she'll like. Bosh.

[Baz]

Got Ms Hammer a card and we're off to some vegetarian restaurant that i reckon she'll like. Bosh.We (me and your Missus, natch) were almost going a Vegan restaurant but they stop serving at eight so I refused on the grounds that it’s clearly a cafe, not a restaurant.

[Pleb]

So what are you nutters doing for Valentines today then?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq_hoPAewIM&t=3m46s

[Giggles]

Leedsrev is cooking dinner after he landed home with two dozen roses and some perfume.

[Danny]

So what are you nutters doing for Valentines today then?

Fuck all. I have 7 a side at 7:30 so ill be out the door in an hour.

[Magic]

Made a nice rump steak meal with a bottle of Rioja, then watched CL and finished off nicely with a few games of Black Ops 2. What a fucking night. :drool:

[mugbull]

Pleb is the anonymous narrator of this board

[Pepe]

Forgot it was Valentines. Zero fucks given.

[Spoonsky]

Spent the afternoon with and shagged someone I work with today. I am going to choose to believe this isn't going to end badly.

What happened to the bigfoot American girl?

[Spikey M]

He came to his senses.

[leedsrevolution]

Leedsrev is cooking dinner after he landed home with two dozen roses and some perfume.

I didn't do anything. I actually forgot to say happy Valentine's, I was going to do that, but I forgot. She was in a fucking foul mood with me all night. Not sure if there's any correlation.

[igor_balis]

What happened to the bigfoot American girl?

We're doing tomorrow evening instead. Me and work girl are working on the understanding that it's purely casual and she knows I'm meeting her, but we'll see if she remains happy with that arrangement.

[igor_balis]

It was well shit. I was fucking knackered after a long week and getting the stupid train and I was just not in a chatty, outgoing mood. If I'm honest, the fact that she was SO much fitter than her photos made me quite a bit more nervous than usual as well, which is a pity.

[igor_balis]

It was well shit. I was fucking knackered after a long week and getting the stupid train and I was just not in a chatty, outgoing mood. If I'm honest, the fact that she was SO much fitter than her photos made me quite a bit more nervous than usual as well, which is a pity.

Er, going on date two tonight. Obviously I hadn't fucked it up as much as I thought. I'm so paranoid I'm gonna be a nervous sweaty mess I forgo caffeine prior to first dates, but after my damp squid performance last time I'm having a nice big coffee and I'm gonna sweat all over her sexy American face. Wish me luck lads!! xx

[mo]

I'm sorry, a damp what?

[Magic]

Pedal stool.

Pre-Madonna.

[Kikó]

Damp squid is a sex move iirc.

[Spikey M]

I imagine all squids to be a bit damp.

[igor_balis]

Oops! No wet squids or squibs last night, it was quality. I think I'm in love.

[igor_balis]

Damp, rather. My brain has been melted by lust.

[Baz]

She must be seriously fit :lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think I once read a short story about someone who used a damp squid as a substitute vagina while masturbating. Might have been another of those pesky fever dreams.

[Disco]

Not a whole one presumably.

[Giggles]

I think I once read a short story about someone who used a damp squid as a substitute vagina while masturbating. Might have been another of those pesky fever dreams.

Jar of liver.

[McAvennie]

Damp, very important your squid is damp

[Spikey M]

Wet if possible. Just like my women. OI OI!

[AyDee]

Almost broke up with my girlfriend of four years yesterday. Was quite an upsetting experience really, her basically being in complete shock didn't really help. We decided to give it a bit longer to see if I change my mind but that just means we're in a really awkward phase at the moment. We live together so not really sure what's going to happen.

Part of why we agreed to try a bit longer is I couldn't really express my reasons for trying to break up. Said stuff about having been in relationships since 17, wanting to just be on my own/independent (although her Qs as to what that would substantively involve were valid Qs) and no longer being as committed to the relationship as she is. None seemed to really be convincing, although perhaps that was because she was in shock and needs time to process stuff.

Break-ups are shit.

[SvN]

You don't need to provide a reason to break up. Staying together because you couldn't verbalise your feelings in that moment is a ridiculous concept.

[AyDee]

I don't think it'll really be an amicable break-up without being able to express those reasons and giving her time to process it; and in doing the latter hopefully the former will become clearer. But if they don't then, yeah, it won't by itself be a reason to stay together permanently. Saying that, it is a little concerning not being able to aritculate the why for such a big decision but that's perhaps me just looking too logically at a largely emotional decision.

[Shindig]

At the same time, if you're going to split up you should know why you're doing it. Even if it is just, "I'm getting kind of bored by it." or whatever.

[Mazuuurk]

This sounds like a classic "I just wanna fuck around a bit and I'm bored with you now" thing.

The "having been in a relationship since..." line is basically sweet talk for I wanna just be single and do what I want.


Regardless, what SvN is saying is kinda true but not the full story obviously since after 4 years you (hopefully and unless you're Magic) care enough for the person to want it to end in a way that's as good for them as possible.

Just don't do the thing where you start acting like a shite to get her to not want you as much (it doesn't work, and it just taints your image in her and possibly others' eyes). If you're serious about contemplating it, it's better to take a proper break and move apart and decide not to see each other for like 3 months, and then see where you stand. But honestly sounds like you've made up your mind already and in that case it's probably better to cut the umbilical and do it. She's gonna be sad regardless, so nothing you say will change that, it's just more about how you leave it.

[wullie]

Once you're at that point where you are considering breaking up I don't get how people can ever get past it and get back to normal, I'd have thought the relationship itself is dead man walking from then on.

[Spoonsky]

I'm away from my girlfriend for two months over the summer (we're going to travel together in July), and it's a bit shit. No idea how people manage long-distance relationships full time.

[mugbull]

Awww :happycry:

I feel you though. Get yourself a fleshlight

[phonics]

Is it weird that I feel like I know everything about Spoons' life but not know him at all?

Like I'm some weird distant Dad thats not really allowed to attend most of the major events in his life and the social events I am invited too I didn't bother showing up. Just get to see him throwing a graduation cap in the air on Facebook etc.

What I'm trying to say is, I'm proud of you son.

[igor_balis]

I've been single since 2013 and it would take a lot to give up on that. Maybe I've just met the wrong women but being in a relationship is rubz.

[Dark Soldier]

I've not had sex in three years lads, had the chances but literally cannot be arsed. Its been wonderful, no crazy shit, doing what I wanna do. Life is good.

EDIT: Forgot about that drunken thing with some sket about a year ago, so once in three years. Absolute whore of a man.

[Pleb]

I'm still single.

[randomlegend]

I've not had sex in three years lads, had the chances but literally cannot be arsed. Its been wonderful, no crazy shit, doing what I wanna do. Life is good.

EDIT: Forgot about that drunken thing with some sket about a year ago, so once in three years. Absolute whore of a man.

Not even throated a trannie or two? :(

[Dark Soldier]

Absolutely nothing mate. Genuinely think I'd be the type happy to get a prossie a month in the future and sack it all off.

[SincereTheRebel]

Absolutely nothing mate. Genuinely think I'd be the type happy to get a prossie a month in the future and sack it all off.

I always thought to myself, this is the much cheaper option with less headache lad.

[Spikey M]

I think Sincere is offering to put lipstick around his arsehole for you DS.

[Dark Soldier]

I'll make the man's ass moist

[Panda Bear]

Got married on Saturday. Pretty cool so far.

In Hawai'i for the honeymoon. Pretty nice so far.

[Boydy]

Congratulations.

[Panda Bear]

Went to the Honolulu Zoo on a whim.

Saw a baboon with a bright red boner that grew when children came over.

[Mazuuurk]

Don't talk about your wife like that :(

[SincereTheRebel]

Posting on here while on your honeymoon smells like disaster lad. Put the device down

[mo]

Early days, but looks like baby number two is on the way. Which is nice.

[igor_balis]

I'm all for free love and having fun but the girl i was seeing last summer (and had spoken about rekindling our fling with this summer) has spent the year studying in italy. I knew she was ...."having a good time", but she's literally sent me a photo with three italian cocks in her mouth. Is it prudish of me to feel somewhat less excited about the prospect of banging her again?

Either way i'm demanding an up to date all clear from the gum clinic.

[randomlegend]

Three at once? I hope they said no homo.

Come at it from the other perspective and get excited about the absolute filth she's clearly down for.

[Pepe]

Congratulations Panda.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Congrats Igor.

[Kikó]

I'm all for free love and having fun but the girl i was seeing last summer (and had spoken about rekindling our fling with this summer) has spent the year studying in italy. I knew she was ...."having a good time", but she's literally sent me a photo with three italian cocks in her mouth. Is it prudish of me to feel somewhat less excited about the prospect of banging her again?

Either way i'm demanding an up to date all clear from the gum clinic.

PM.

Congrats to other normal people above.

[Giggles]

Get the ring bought Igor.

[Spikey M]

She’s probably had 3 of them on her tongue as well.

[Baz]

Yeah share that pic!

[phonics]

I lol'd and shared it with a gay friend of mine who said 'good on her'. Take that as you will.

[Spikey M]

Go on then :uhoh:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Share it lad.

[Magic]

Got married on Saturday. Pretty cool so far.

In Hawai'i for the honeymoon. Pretty nice so far.

:drool:

[Mazuuurk]

WTF :D

PM, igor.

[Shindig]

"I'm sure he won't mind this. He's probably forgot about me as well." <send>

[Magic]

Are we all picturing some hot slut drowning in sexy Italian peni?

She's probably a fat munter slobering on 3 Tony Sopranos. I mean look at Igy.

[Smiffy]

I had a weird experience with my partner last week. Still going strong so nothing major.

We pay the rent for her family house which I'm fine withbas she was doing it before I came on the scene. Expensive but it is what it is. Last week her mum got ill but chose not to worry her daughter but got ill to the extent we had to put her into a private hospital which came at a price. Then I'm being told we have to send more to make sure she gets treated right, backhanded type stuff. So now I'm getting irate as a) it's getting stupid financially and b) it fkies in the face of why youd become a Dr, surely?

The whole thing has rubbed me up the wrong way. My Mrs has explained it and she hates it too but what can you do. Anyhow, her ma is late 70's and the events have found that she's diabetic and cataracts, this same woman looks after her sister who's a few years older.

It's just not a situation I would know what to do with. Family is family so I get it but I don't know how to act about it. I want to help like I am but at the same time I know enough to know that a 70+ year old woman is only going to get worse not better.

Any ideas gents?

[SincereTheRebel]

Not much you can do lad. The moment you make a claim against not supporting her and her family financially, that sounds like the end of your relationship. Its not like she is asking you to pay for her cars, its her mother.

[Smiffy]

I'm not going to stop helping her in that respect bud where do you draw the line? Obviously other factors are at play too which only further my confusion.

Her brother for example. He asked for £300 but when my partner chased it up with her ex husband who sorted the private clinic out for us it turned out to be bs.

I'm just legit confused as I don't know the culture, I know her brother is a big of a rogue un and I don't want it to interfere in what really is still something wonderful.

[SvN]

Giving the doctor a backhander to make sure she gets treated right? Am I reading a script from the Sopranos?

[Smiffy]

I guess it's the norm in Romania but who am I to say.

[-james-]

Yes, it's entirely the norm in that part of the world. I know that in Greece, priority of treatment goes to the highest bidder. It's not so much a backhander as a straight up medical cost.

[Magic]

Pay the doctor money to off her.

[Spikey M]

My Sister in Laws mate fell over on some ice whilst on holiday in Romania. He completely fucked his leg up and had to have 2 operations. The hospital wasn’t amazing, he had limited pain killers available (different laws?) and the language barrier made things difficult at times. BUT... he had no issues with being asked for payment / backhanders.

So, either:

A) They don’t pull that shit on Foreigners / Insurance companies / EHIC holders.
B) He got lucky with the hospital he went to
C) You’re being had.

Probably the first, but I would be feeling a bit uneasy if I was you as well.

[Smiffy]

Yes, it's entirely the norm in that part of the world. I know that in Greece, priority of treatment goes to the highest bidder. It's not so much a backhander as a straight up medical cost.

I didn't doubt it given some of the stories she's told me about growing up there. She was 12 when the leader was overthrown and I just can't relate in any way whatsoever.

Should I be expecting mysterious things to be found along the way? "Oh by the way, we found out she has xx which requires £€$."

It's worse that I don't speak the language. Listening to her on the phone at times is like playing catchphrase. Guess the tone and facial expression then guess the conversation.

[SincereTheRebel]

Also, you have to learn how to accept the loss.

[SincereTheRebel]

Pay the doctor money to off her.

Its cheaper to keep her.

[Smiffy]

My Sister in Laws mate fell over on some ice whilst on holiday in Romania. He completely fucked his leg up and had to have 2 operations. The hospital wasn’t amazing, he had limited pain killers available (different laws?) and the language barrier made things difficult at times. BUT... he had no issues with being asked for payment / backhanders.

So, either:

A) They don’t pull that shit on Foreigners / Insurance companies / EHIC holders.
B) He got lucky with the hospital he went to
C) You’re being had.

Probably the first, but I would be feeling a bit uneasy if I was you as well.

Was it a private one or general? Apparently there's a difference in quality but it depends what it's being measured against. Both could be shit for all I know.

I would rather pay knowing it was doing something that helped her mum instead of someone else's pockets.

[Raoul Duke]

Romanian Mafia thread :drool:

[Spikey M]

Pay the doctor money to off her.

It sounds like he’s paying the doctor to not off her. So in this instance it really is:

1) don’t pay
2) split up with other half
3) ????
4) Profit



5) Death via her brothers

[Spikey M]

Was it a private one or general? Apparently there's a difference in quality but it depends what it's being measured against. Both could be shit for all I know.

I would rather pay knowing it was doing something that helped her mum instead of someone else's pockets.

Fuck knows. I know very little aside from what his Facebook updates said.

He has 1 leg shorter than the other now though, so if it was Private he’s been had.

[Magic]

Its cheaper to keep her.

Financially, perhaps.

[Danny]

Got married on Saturday. Pretty cool so far.

In Hawai'i for the honeymoon. Pretty nice so far.

Congrats! We went there for ours too. Really enjoyed Pearl Harbor (maybe enjoy isn’t the word..), diamond head and sea life park. We did a hike though a forest while it was chucking it down too but I wouldn’t ever be able to remember the name.

You staying in Waikiki? We stayed at the Ilikai. Wife wants to go back but it costs a bomb.

[Mazuuurk]

Yeah that's what the Japanese figured as well.

[SincereTheRebel]

Yeah that's what the Japanese figured as well.

:D

[Danny]

Yeah that's what the Japanese figured as well.

Bravo :lol:

[Bam]

My Sister in Laws mate fell over on some ice whilst on holiday in Romania. He completely fucked his leg up and had to have 2 operations. The hospital wasn’t amazing, he had limited pain killers available (different laws?) and the language barrier made things difficult at times. BUT... he had no issues with being asked for payment / backhanders.

So, either:

A) They don’t pull that shit on Foreigners / Insurance companies / EHIC holders.
B) He got lucky with the hospital he went to
C) You’re being had.

Probably the first, but I would be feeling a bit uneasy if I was you as well.


It's C all day long, Romanians are all the same.

[bruhnaldo]

I'm all for free love and having fun but the girl i was seeing last summer (and had spoken about rekindling our fling with this summer) has spent the year studying in italy. I knew she was ...."having a good time", but she's literally sent me a photo with three italian cocks in her mouth. Is it prudish of me to feel somewhat less excited about the prospect of banging her again?

Either way i'm demanding an up to date all clear from the gum clinic.

I feel like part of this story has been accidentally deleted or you all flirt in a very different way overseas.

[Spikey M]

Igor likes wrong’uns and always had. He’s more at home with his nose up a fat birds waste pipe than you are holding an upsidedown sign at a special needs basketball match.

[randomlegend]

Igor likes wrong’uns and always had. He’s more at home with his nose up a fat birds waste pipe than you are holding an upsidedown sign at a special needs basketball match.

:D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Played Spikes.

[igor_balis]

Igor likes wrong’uns and always had. He’s more at home with his nose up a fat birds waste pipe than you are holding an upsidedown sign at a special needs basketball match.

i simply cannot argue with that

[Dark Soldier]

igor ya cunt ye have taste, fuck jack jeebs over there

[Queenslander]

3 year anniversary today with the missus. I must admit this relationship stuff is a lot easier in my 30's compared to my tragic failures in my 20's.

[Clunge]

Coming up for a year with the Portuguese. We’re both fucking hopeless at relationships so we’re still taking things relatively slow and chill. First, I guess, proper adult relationship for both of us, and each of ours first for years. But it’s been the best time so far. We went to Portugal together a few weeks ago sans problem so yeah, all pretty sweet.

[Kikó]

Portuguese friend!

[SincereTheRebel]

I've realised I have a really bad neck fetish. Thinking about it, I really enjoy sinking my teeth into her neck. Kissing up the neck pieces while she strokes my wood. I could do it at all day. I think she has realised it too and probably thinks I'm a complete weirdo. It's fucked, lads.

It does not sound like a bad fetish to have compared to having a foot fetish? I don't understand that at all. The neck kissing is probably a gateway to all that other kinky world, so I should probably slow down.

I'm going to mention it to her today and see what she thinks about it.

[Kikó]

This is how hammer started...

[Shindig]

Neck kissing naturally leads to choking. :dc:

[Spikey M]

Kids have necks, the nonce.

[SincereTheRebel]

This is how hammer started...

Exactly what I'm talking about. Its a gateway, it could lead to other behaviours. I need to chill.


Kids have necks, the nonce.

They also have a penis or a vagina so I've been told. I'm not 100% sure though, as I've never seen a penis or vagina on a kid.

[Kikó]

:ae:

[Spikey M]

That’s the wrong black bloke Keeks. Bit racist.

[Magic]

TIL: neck kissing directly leads to paedophilia.

[Spikey M]

It’s a gateway kink.

[SincereTheRebel]

I could be in a worse situation. Googling sexual fetishes has opened me up to a world, I never imagined existed.

[SvN]

Now, you don't punish anyone, Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs.

[Kikó]

Was that meant for the job thread?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Now, you don't punish anyone, Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs.

If anything they should be rewarded.

[SincereTheRebel]

I've realised I have a really bad neck fetish. Thinking about it, I really enjoy sinking my teeth into her neck. Kissing up the neck pieces while she strokes my wood. I could do it at all day. I think she has realised it too and probably thinks I'm a complete weirdo. It's fucked, lads.

It does not sound like a bad fetish to have compared to having a foot fetish? I don't understand that at all. The neck kissing is probably a gateway to all that other kinky world, so I should probably slow down.

I'm going to mention it to her today and see what she thinks about it.

She claimed she noticed I attacked the neck almost immediately but its something we both enjoy so its no big deal. Minor.

[Dark Soldier]

They also have a penis or a vagina so I've been told. I'm not 100% sure though, as I've never seen a penis or vagina on a kid.

I heard that girls wee out their bellybutton until they're sixteen and their vaginas openly like a clam on that birthday.

[Mazuuurk]

They also have a penis or a vagina so I've been told. I'm not 100% sure though, as I've never seen a penis or vagina on a kid.


Are you sure you've been looking in the right place...?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Simmer down Jimmy Saville.

[Mazuuurk]

That's the joke.

[bruhnaldo]

more at home with his nose up a fat birds waste pipe than you are holding an upsidedown sign at a special needs basketball match.

What is this even supposed to mean?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That makes it even better.

[Clunge]

Portuguese friend!Olá.

[Spikey M]

What is this even supposed to mean?

Exactly.

[SincereTheRebel]

Remember that scenario I went through with the female and the baby. I saw her yesterday, pushing a dark skin baby that was probably at least one. Im not sure if it was hers or not, but hopefully it was. Even though there isnt any long term damage reported. I always think what happenes if they cant reproduce ever again after the 'operaation'. I dont speak to her anymore, but it reminded me that in order for things to work. You and her have to friends first. If you are not friends, you are never going to happy.

[igor_balis]

in order for things to work. You and her have to friends first. If you are not friends, you are never going to happy.

very true

[Spikey M]

Why is Sincere typing like he’s just learnt the language?

[Baz]

The language of love.

[Giggles]

I thought a bot had taken over the account.

[Adamski]

Remember that scenario I went through with the female and the baby. I saw her yesterday, pushing a dark skin baby that was probably at least one. Im not sure if it was hers or not, but hopefully it was. Even though there isnt any long term damage reported. I always think what happenes if they cant reproduce ever again after the 'operaation'. I dont speak to her anymore, but it reminded me that in order for things to work. You and her have to friends first. If you are not friends, you are never going to happy.

Bet it’s yours.

[SincereTheRebel]

Bet it’s yours.

Little tyke somehow survived the assassination. You're funny lad.

[John]

Or she said she got the abortion but didn't, and in a couple of years you'll get a CS demand through the door.

[igor_balis]

my mate ( mokbull met him) had a dramatic falling out with his then-girlfriend during first year of uni when she found out he'd cheated on her. she wrote "CHEATING SCUM CHEATING SCUM CHEATING SCUM" over and over again on his mirror with lipstick, then when they "reconciled" she secretly stopped taking the pill in an attempt to trap him. she did get pregnant and refused to abort, but thankfully for his sake the saga ended with the least tragic miscarriage of all time.

[mugbull]

Is this the guy that went a bit bonkers on MD and then slept in my female flatmate's bed? I could see it

[phonics]

my mate ( @mokbull (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=78) met him) had a dramatic falling out with his then-girlfriend during first year of uni when she found out he'd cheated on her. she wrote "CHEATING SCUM CHEATING SCUM CHEATING SCUM" over and over again on his mirror with lipstick, then when they "reconciled" she secretly stopped taking the pill in an attempt to trap him. she did get pregnant and refused to abort, but thankfully for his sake the saga ended with the least tragic miscarriage of all time.

That is literally the plotline of a shit series of Skins.

[igor_balis]

Is this the guy that went a bit bonkers on MD and then slept in my female flatmate's bed? I could see it

bingo

[phonics]

I'm just going to post this now before John comes in and attempt to school me. That literally was a figurative literally.

[igor_balis]

I'm just going to post this now before John comes in and attempt to school me. That literally was a figurative literally.

i'm sure he could care less

[phonics]

https://i.imgur.com/rTWDmuc.gif

[SincereTheRebel]

Saw her AGAIN. Must be some type of sign.

[Dark Soldier]

Well in sincere slip her a length

[igor_balis]

My mate just told us that he had a sex dream where he was having sex with a woman against a wall wearing tightly whities and midway he did a big solid poo and the woman leaned around and pushed it back in saying 'dont worry that happens to your dad all the time.'

Fucking howling

[Boydy]

:D

lol

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

Fucking hell.

[Shindig]

The power of the imagination right there.

[SincereTheRebel]

Well in sincere slip her a length

No. That's the wrong thing to do. It's not over until you stop lying down with her. I haven't done that since the relationship ended.

[igor_balis]

Going on a tinder date today. Hope I don't poo in my pants.

[Boydy]

I hope you do.

[igor_balis]

Cunt

[leedsrevolution]

Going on a tinder date today. Hope I don't poo in my pants, again

Fixed

[Boydy]

Cunt

Just for the story.

I also hope she won't mind and you'll find your soulmate xx

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm still hoping he settles down with the mental Romanian.

[Dark Soldier]

Bet he's elbow deep in her right now

[igor_balis]

She was gonna drive over to mine and take us to a national trust property to walk around. In either a horrible piece of fate conspiring or a very elaborate lie that she's continued for hours with updates from insurance company etc, some old cunt smashed into her car! She's fine but the car is totally fucko. Poor gal.

[Shindig]

Maybe she just wanted to fuck in a place of historical importance?

[igor_balis]

I would have taken an ice cream and some hand holding really. Girls are cool.

[igor_balis]

Shes at pride today. Messaged me saying she's got bud sniff and ket. Said wow, jeal, bring me back some XX. Then realised it wasn't her but a Sheffield dealer sending out a mass marketing text. Queue a series of missed calls and messages asking who the fuck I am, bruv and asking what im saying. Ooops.

[Dark Soldier]

:lol::lol::lol:

[Dark Soldier]

90% of the matches I'm getting on OKCupid are SJW fat fucks, all multi-coloured hair, shit piercings and tats. Might go back to the heady days of zero dignity and slay the lot.

[Spikey M]

Careful of Phonics won’t talk to you anymore.

[Boydy]

That's pretty much all OKCupid is. It's very weird.

[Dark Soldier]

That's pretty much all OKCupid is. It's very weird.

Chatting to a fit local tranny so it ain't all bad.

[Boydy]

Yeah, a lot of those too but I guess that's up your street.

[igor_balis]

okc is just identity politics obsessed weirdos and pof is just dozy hairdressers. i think tinder is objectively the best by virtue of the number of people using it, unless you're in a big city then bumble is decent.

[Spikey M]

Yeah, a lot of those too but I guess that's up your street.

In more ways than one.

[igor_balis]

So, lads, am I right to be annoyed about this? Girl I shagging last summer is back in the midlands, and said LETS GO FOR A DRINK TONIGHT yesterday afternoon. I said sure, sounds good. Bumped into mutual friend who was like oh so you coming for drinks with me and girl later, "yeah i think so!". Girl just never fucking messaged me! I wouldn't have minded a lame last minute excuse if she decided she didn't want to, but she hasn't messaged me since yday afternoon.

I know it doesn't really matter cus I don't really want to shag her anymore, but it's just rude, ennit?

[Giggles]

So, lads, am I right to be annoyed about this? Girl I shagging last summer is back in the midlands, and said LETS GO FOR A DRINK TONIGHT yesterday afternoon. I said sure, sounds good. Bumped into mutual friend who was like oh so you coming for drinks with me and girl later, "yeah i think so!". Girl just never fucking messaged me! I wouldn't have minded a lame last minute excuse if she decided she didn't want to, but she hasn't messaged me since yday afternoon.

I know it doesn't really matter cus I don't really want to shag her anymore, but it's just rude, ennit?

That makes no sense. She asked you so why did she need to message you too?

[mugbull]

I *think* the social cue is you say “sure sounds good” and then suggest a time/place. She’s probably too anxious/awkward to make that next move herself, thinking you don’t really wanna hang out, so she dropped it

[igor_balis]

oh dum dum, i missed out the vital bit where after i agreed she said "okay i will message you when i finish work and i'm ready etc :) " ooops. so yeah it was very much in her court.

[mugbull]

Did you respond to that one with a message?

[Spikey M]

Are you autistic?

[igor_balis]

ye just a thumbs up which seemed appropriate considering the context

[mugbull]

Yee so she probably likes you and was testing the waters to see if you were still into it and you didnt bite so she dropped it

[igor_balis]

i feel like i've just made a hash of explaining my shit anecdote rather than actually spazzing up the interaction itself. maybe i left out some more important, excruciatingly boring details

she originally said lets go for drink on saturday, i said yeah that sounds nice, then she said oh wait actually tonight (friday) would be better, and i said yeah that actually works better for me as i've got nothing planned this evening and it would be nice to see you, THEN she said okay i'll let you know the time, i said (Y), then she never messaged after that

i'm pretty sure that's not a case of me being autistic/not seeming keen enough.

[Giggles]

i feel like i've just made a hash of explaining my shit anecdote rather than actually spazzing up the interaction itself. maybe i left out some more important, excruciatingly boring details

she originally said lets go for drink on saturday, i said yeah that sounds nice, then she said oh wait actually tonight (friday) would be better, and i said yeah that actually works better for me as i've got nothing planned this evening and it would be nice to see you, THEN she said okay i'll let you know the time, i said (Y), then she never messaged after that

i'm pretty sure that's not a case of me being autistic/not seeming keen enough.

There's the missing piece.

You're still overthinking it and not being proactive enough.