The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[Mazuuurk]

Anyways I'm probably getting back together (for good!) with a girl I met in her second week of school.


having children young


:uhoh:

[phonics]

It's over, lads, no more ALPHA stories from Mert :(

Do we have a replacement lined up?

https://i.imgur.com/101jXzd.png

[SincereTheRebel]

Respect to all you male's who are man enough to have wife's and children. Im still, too much of a coward to do so.

[bruhnaldo]

'Weird' = maintains attraction and is loyal to me. It's how it's supposed to be.

Anyways I'm probably getting back together (for good!) with a girl I met in her second week of school. I think I'm calling it a life on the girl front, I genuinely find the entire process to be tiresome at this stage. I can get laid and I'm actually over it, would rather be with someone I care about who is absolutely wonderful, I don't need to have any more 'fun.' I'd rather focus on my career / having children young / make and save money / etc.

You literally make this same post once a month.

[leedsrevolution]

I would marry my better half without question. But CBA organising a wedding. Looks a right effort.

[Spikey M]

I would marry my better half without question. But CBA organising a wedding. Looks a right effort.

If I were doing it all over agai I would fuck off somewhere abroad, get married on the beach of an All Inclusive and invite everyone on the basis that they pay their own way and still buy us a decent present. It would save £10-15 grand and you're already on honeymoon.

[Raoul Duke]

If I were doing it all over agai I would fuck off somewhere abroad, get married on the beach of an All Inclusive and invite everyone on the basis that they pay their own way and still buy us a decent present. It would save £10-15 grand and you're already on honeymoon.

That's what we're gonna do, minus the 'inviting everyone' bit :thbup:

[Weaver]

Just you, her, and 100 of TTH's finest.

It'll be great.

[Raoul Duke]

Hawaii here we come lads

[wullie]

That's what we're gonna do, minus the 'inviting everyone' bit :thbup:

Minus the 'abroad' bit too and that's what we did. Scotland's quite tropical when you think about it though.

[ScousePig]

What the hell is going on with no posts in here for six weeks or something?

Anyway, me and my partner might be breaking up. We've been rocky for a while in fairness, the spark just seems to have gone. We haven't fallen out or anything, just drifted apart over the past few months. It's just gone flat. We've talked and eventually decided to try and do a few more things together and see if that can rekindle anything, but I'm not sure.

The crux seems to be that we're not doing anything at the weekend. I'm more interested in the football and she's having to make arrangements to go out with her mates and stuff. The problem is we're both so busy and tired and it's hard to get out and do stuff, particularly as we both have to do some work over the weekend. I've cut my work load right down to about three hours on a Sunday, but she seems to spend all Sunday working sometimes. She moans a little about me not pulling my weight sometimes around the house (think I've mentioned this before), but that's fairly minor really.

In hindsight, we might have moved in together too soon. She bought a house and moved into it a couple of months after we met, and I more or less moved in soon after, and properly moved in a couple of months after that. Where it was fun coming round and seeing each other a few times a week, suddenly became the norm.

Anyway, please offer some words of wisdom, or comfort.

[John]

Half the board told you that relationship sounded shaky well over six months ago, and you got really shitty about it.

[ScousePig]

A few people mentioned it, and it was based on a couple of little annoyances.

[Mazuuurk]

What the hell is going on with no posts in here for six weeks or something?

Anyway, me and my partner might be breaking up. We've been rocky for a while in fairness, the spark just seems to have gone. We haven't fallen out or anything, just drifted apart over the past few months. It's just gone flat. We've talked and eventually decided to try and do a few more things together and see if that can rekindle anything, but I'm not sure.

The crux seems to be that we're not doing anything at the weekend. I'm more interested in the football and she's having to make arrangements to go out with her mates and stuff. The problem is we're both so busy and tired and it's hard to get out and do stuff, particularly as we both have to do some work over the weekend. I've cut my work load right down to about three hours on a Sunday, but she seems to spend all Sunday working sometimes. She moans a little about me not pulling my weight sometimes around the house (think I've mentioned this before), but that's fairly minor really.

In hindsight, we might have moved in together too soon. She bought a house and moved into it a couple of months after we met, and I more or less moved in soon after, and properly moved in a couple of months after that. Where it was fun coming round and seeing each other a few times a week, suddenly became the norm.

Anyway, please offer some words of wisdom, or comfort.


To be honest doing things at the weekend won't be much of a solution if you both aren't really wanting to find some time together anyway. I mean it's important to make time for hanging out and all, but to some extent that should be something you make sure by yourself as well.

It sounds more like you are both not very into each other anymore for whatever reason, and at that point not sure if there's so much to do about it. I mean by the sounds of it (correct me if I'm wrong) you don't seem too upbeat about the prospect of breaking up really.

The "Living together" situation just sounds like what it's like to live with someone, whoever that is. There's always some everyday challenges to deal with when you share a house and given most people have the idea they will do that for the remainder of their lives (once they find someone they want to do that with), I don't know if it matters much if you move in together after 1 month or 1 year, at the end of the day.

So to me I'd say you have two options:

A. (you want to stick with her) - Make some sort of plan of how to make things happen on the weekends, make some sort of joint decision on "1 day per weekend is Us-time" or whatever and make sure you do something fun that time (not just lounge around in the sofa at home). Try that for a few months and see if it helps.

B. (you are fed up anyway and want to watch your football and shouldn't she accept that anyway?!) break up now and be done with it, find somewhere else to stay. Tough luck really, but at least you can get fucked with your mates as much as you want right? And if that feels like the more appealing option then it's probably the right one.

[Magic]

Sounds like a great relationship Scouse, you should keep at it forever.

[Spikey M]

To be fair if my mrs wanted to sit around watching TOWIE all weekend I’d be pretty fucked off. Watch Match of the Day and go out on a Saturday with her. Easy.

I only get 1 day a week off with my Mrs so we meet for lunch a couple of days a week, I pick her up on Saturday after work and we go out, etc. And I guarantee we have a more difficult working arrangement than you do and we have a toddler on top of that. Ultimately if you wanted to see each other you’d already be putting the effort in without having to come to blows over it first.

Edit: that came across more cuntish than intended but I stand by it. If the idea of putting the effort in makes you want to sign (your post reads that way) then it’s time to bin it.

[Smiffy]

Being the classy individual I am, I screwed the Romanian sous chef.... in the bathroom on a manky duvet.

Lass I got with in Guernsey some eight years ago, the one I can't even remember sleeping with, we rekindled our fleeting romance recently but she wants more and that's a no go as far as I'm concerned.

I'm right back on it after a few years not even being interested. I've had more sex this last three months than the last three years. I don't know what it is but it's easy again. I went through a stage where I was just socially awkward or not confident enough anymore. Fuck knows.

Truly on top form but it's me so I'll blow it eventually. :Cool:

[ScousePig]

It probably doesn't help that I only post the negative stuff, and I rarely make many posts. We've decided to give it a try, with us basically doing more stuff together. One of the main reasons it might feel forced is because of how busy we are, and having to find time to do things. We've done the 'us time' but that's normal for teachers anyway (as well as other professions that work long hours of course) and I've had a few experienced teachers telling me that it would be like that and it's natural.

I do find it a bit strange that some on here think we should maybe call it a day when I'm sure a high percentage of relationships are in a bigger state than ours. But then I get the impression I could say we prefer different flavour sandwiches and some people would be telling me it's doomed (hi John).

Maz, leaving doesn't seem like the preferable option, but that doesn't mean it's not the right one. A bit more on my partner - she's really down with work at the moment and is looking for another job. I think that's having a knock on effect. She's on quite a high pay scale but has been told she won't be able to go to the next one for rather dubious reasons. She also doesn't get on with some of the senior staff, and has taken a bit of time off in the past.

[Magic]

Sweet delusion. It isn't working, pan it. There's no kids or joint mortgage.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We also said Magic's relationship was doomed when it looked a little rocky.

Kid, marriage and divorce within a year, Scouse.

[ScousePig]

I don't know where people find the time.

[Spikey M]

They don’t spend all weekend watching football.

[Magic]

They don’t spend all weekend watching football.

Lol.

[Smiffy]

What the hell is going on with no posts in here for six weeks or something?

Anyway, me and my partner might be breaking up. We've been rocky for a while in fairness, the spark just seems to have gone. We haven't fallen out or anything, just drifted apart over the past few months. It's just gone flat. We've talked and eventually decided to try and do a few more things together and see if that can rekindle anything, but I'm not sure.

The crux seems to be that we're not doing anything at the weekend. I'm more interested in the football and she's having to make arrangements to go out with her mates and stuff. The problem is we're both so busy and tired and it's hard to get out and do stuff, particularly as we both have to do some work over the weekend. I've cut my work load right down to about three hours on a Sunday, but she seems to spend all Sunday working sometimes. She moans a little about me not pulling my weight sometimes around the house (think I've mentioned this before), but that's fairly minor really.

In hindsight, we might have moved in together too soon. She bought a house and moved into it a couple of months after we met, and I more or less moved in soon after, and properly moved in a couple of months after that. Where it was fun coming round and seeing each other a few times a week, suddenly became the norm.

Anyway, please offer some words of wisdom, or comfort.

I would suggest firstly looking at it from your own perspective. Do you want even want to remain with her? It's all well and good trying to rekindle things but ultimately both of you need to be sure that that's what you want. There's little point in pretending you want to be with one another for the sake of being with one another. Relationships are relatively easy things if you have the fundamental ingredients. Communication being the biggest, trust right alongside it, attraction, desire. Do the good things outweigh the bad? People have a tendency to really focus on the negatives when talking about relationship break downs, not too dissimilar to a depressive believing their life to be shit, it's just easier to recall all the bad stuff and the good tend to be forgotten. I'm assed looking for your posts from 6 months ago as I have no clue of your past history with this lass but you need to ask yourself if it's worth saving, if it is then try harder. Pull your weight around the house, go back to basics and remember what made you both want to be with one another in the first place. Be spontaneous.

The problem with moving in with someone so soon as I'm sure you're aware is that you quickly learn all of their bad habits, the things that were hidden, you swiftly get under one another's feet, spending too much time together, both working full time too and so the little that is free has to be divided fairly. You have to do your thing, she has to do her thing, you have to have your own lives as much as having lives together. Living in one another's pockets or always been in close proximity together isn't at all that healthy. If she bought a house I imagine she's in a better financial position than you given your other quote below. Her work life shouldn't have much of a baring on your lives together. Quite rightly she's looking for something else, be proactive and help her do this. Support her in following her goals, if you want to be with her then you've got to take one for the team in that respect but again, it depends on you. When you're bringing your work home with you then it's no good, the same as if you take your home life to work with you. If she's just down because of work then she needs to do something about it or could she be using the work as an excuse because she doesn't want to be with you. Be open minded to this. It's difficult to gauge on a forum where we don't actually know the lass but if you both do want to be together then I wouldn't say it's doomed. Take a weekend break by yourself or send her away and do something to the house. Make her miss you. Make her look forward to wanting to come home to you.


It probably doesn't help that I only post the negative stuff, and I rarely make many posts. We've decided to give it a try, with us basically doing more stuff together. One of the main reasons it might feel forced is because of how busy we are, and having to find time to do things. We've done the 'us time' but that's normal for teachers anyway (as well as other professions that work long hours of course) and I've had a few experienced teachers telling me that it would be like that and it's natural.

I do find it a bit strange that some on here think we should maybe call it a day when I'm sure a high percentage of relationships are in a bigger state than ours. But then I get the impression I could say we prefer different flavour sandwiches and some people would be telling me it's doomed (hi John).

Maz, leaving doesn't seem like the preferable option, but that doesn't mean it's not the right one. A bit more on my partner - she's really down with work at the moment and is looking for another job. I think that's having a knock on effect. She's on quite a high pay scale but has been told she won't be able to go to the next one for rather dubious reasons. She also doesn't get on with some of the senior staff, and has taken a bit of time off in the past.

Here in lies one the problems. The solution isn't just doing things together, it's about having separate lives as well. If she has friends then arrange with them for them to take her on a girls night out. Or arrange a lads night out for yourself. Cook her a meal, run her a bath, do what you can to ease her work load if work truly is the issue. It depends how much you want it, doesn't it? You can only do what you can do and I think you'll admit yourself that you could do more. Ask yourself if you could do more then why aren't you doing more? You can't use the work excuse yourself because it doesn't sound like you want to lose her, it sounds as though the relationship is slipping into stale, routine type shit though. I can imagine you both come home from work, have a whinge about work and wake up the following day to go to work. Forget what other teachers say too. Every relationship is different.

She's on a high pay scale, so what. It means nothing if there's no satisfaction in her role. Money only gets you so far, you've got to enjoy what you do for a living. As a teacher I imagine you get a decent amount of time off at various points so it's not as though things require a massive plan of action given you know when these times off are going to occur, mostly.

Did either of you think it would be better than it actually is being together under the same roof? I don't know the reasons for moving in so quickly together but that can take the passion out of a relationship in itself especially if she feels more of a mother to you than a partner, what with your comment about her believing you don't pull your weight around the house.

I wouldn't even sit down with her and have "the talk". Either surprise her by doing something for her or surprise her by telling her you're going to start a new interest and follow it through. Make her want to spend her precious time with you again.

In short, fuck what this lot say. If you believe it's worth fighting for then do so. If you are both on the same level then it shouldn't be all too hard but as I said, bare in mind that she might not want to be with you any longer too. Protect yourself whilst simultaneously supporting her. Relationships....who'd have 'em.

You might skim over this but I hope somewhere in there there's some helpful advice.

Good luck, Scouse.

[Spoonsky]

What's your situation Magic?

[ScousePig]

I haven't skimmed over it Smiff, it's much appreciated. I'll respond in more detail later, but in short you're right in a lot of what you say.

[Magic]

What's your situation Magic?

Suck my dick you little Amish seat sniffer.

[Giggles]

Suck my dick you little Amish seat sniffer.

I hadn't even noticed it was Spoon that asked that. I just presumed it was Boydy.

[Raoul Duke]

Suck my dick you little Amish seat sniffer.

:D

[Pepe]

That was great. :D

Magic's just jelly because Spoonsky has been DONNING IT lately, if facebook is anything to go by.

[Magic]

That was great. :D

Magic's just jelly because Spoonsky has been DONNING IT lately, if facebook is anything to go by.

He's the reason I've quit FB. A fine compliment.

[Giggles]

He was the reason I quit too.

[igor_balis]

I try not to look at the "relationship" as an abstract thing, and try to focus on the individuals. It's probably why I've never been in a relationship for more than 9 months, but whatever.

[Spoonsky]

I just care about Magic. :(

[Baz]

“Quitting” Facebook. :face:

How do you know when someone doesn’t have Facebook? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.

[Shindig]

"Have you read my twitlonger?"

[Mazuuurk]

I
Maz, leaving doesn't seem like the preferable option, but that doesn't mean it's not the right one. A bit more on my partner - she's really down with work at the moment and is looking for another job. I think that's having a knock on effect. She's on quite a high pay scale but has been told she won't be able to go to the next one for rather dubious reasons. She also doesn't get on with some of the senior staff, and has taken a bit of time off in the past.

Yeah alright. Then, I've been through numerous "fuck my job and it's going out over my partner" phases with my girlfriend from both our sides really, and while it's true that changing that sort of situation can have a really positive effect, there was never really any feeling of "let's bin this" during those times, it always just sort of felt more like something a bit rough to go through together.

But obviously all relationships are a bit different and you know best what you feel like.

The reason people are saying they think it's doomed isn't because of Sandwhich preferences mate, it's because you started your post with saying "Me and my partner might be breaking up" which usually is a sure sign you would indeed be breaking up (in my experience once someone says that, the conversations have been had already and what remains is some sort of chicken race on who can provoke the other to do it first).

[ScousePig]

It's not from this time Maz, it's from last time I brought us up several months ago, talking about some of our petty annoyances against each other (reading back it was only really two peope). I've spoken to my mum a couple times about it, and her general stance has been that no relationship is perfect, you need to work at it and you're always going to have fallings out, differences of opinions and even doubts, unless you find that one in million perfect soul mate. Which seems the obvious and sensible opinion, and one that most on here would probably go along with. Although I spoke to her the other day after our chat and she said maybe it's for the best and that we'd given it a good try. Fwiw, we've had one or two 'are we okay' chats in the past and basically decided we need to put our relationship ahead of work and try a bit harder.

The 'let's bin this' stuff is fair enough. She's quite driven and has plans on where she wants to be in life at certain points, which is something I've never really got. When she was at university she wanted to be a high level teacher, bought her first house and have two children by 30. She has the first two. Without going into too much detail, life in the bedroom (sorry I know that sounds silly) has gone stale which is surely one of our biggest issues. She's admitted that she's put up a barrier for the last several months. That's almost certainly having an effect. I'm also concerned she might be a bit depressed. Fed up with her job to the point she wants to leave, relationship having troubles and she generally seems pretty down. She takes anti depressants because she's had this before (before we met), and I do tho k she focuses on the negatives a bit too much.

From my perspective, I do want it to work, I just sometimes need that kick up the backside as a reminder. I've been so tired through work over the past couple of years, something I've not really experienced much of before as I've only worked regular hours (35-40 a week, which became 55-60 as a teacher). My old head teacher warned me when I started seeing my partner in my NQT year, telling me how tough it would be and that I'd need to work on my work life balance, and when I moved in with her one of my teaching mates I was working with asked me how I found the time (particularly as it meant a longer commute to work each day). Sorry if I'm going over old ground, but I think the context is important.

So Smiffy, yes I want to be with her, but I don't think we're one in a million soul mates or anything like that. The truth is, we love each other, but neither of us are quite sure if we're right to spend the rest of our lives together. I do support her in following her goals, and have encouraged her to look for other jobs (which she has been and is doing). We're on half term this week, we went out for the day yesterday and she's going to a spa for a couple of nights at the end of the week with her mum, which will give her a nice relaxing break, time apart and time to mull things over with her mum. We do get a decent amount of time off. We've been to Paris, Venice, South of France, London and other weekend and days away in England (Chester for a couple of weekends, for instance). We would have booked to to Barcelona this Christmas but we can't as we break up at different times.

I need to go out so I'll finish my response later.

At the end of the day, neither of us are 100% sure. To some, that would suggest that it's not quite working and we should call it a day. Others would say that few relationships are 100% and we shouldn't expect ours to be. This is the dilemma I'm facing.

[Mazuuurk]

Hmm. It's hard to tell because you seem a lot on the fence about it but from what I'm gathering then it seems you're not quite done in trying to make it work. Generally my personal relantionship mentality is much like that of your mothers', so keep that in mind but then my advice would be to stick it out for a while longer and attempt your best at making things better. Maybe you will have to set your own contentment aside for a while to be a little extra supportive of her actually, as it seems she's the one really going through some tough stuff and you're mainly just suffering as a bi-product of that.

See it as a bit of a test because if you're going to spend the rest of your lives together, I'd assume it's likely she will occasionally struggle with that sort of thing, and you may have to deal with this sort of phase in the future as well. If you can know that they are just phases that might help then.

And you say she's looking for a new job so it might be fair to give her a chance to find one. So long as you feel she's also trying to do something about the situation as well.


Actually to me now it sounds more like your everyday life is what's suffering more, and maybe going for weekends isn't what's going to solve the problem (let's face it, it's always quite nice to go for a weekend break or a vacation).

On the Sex thing that's really hard to say because it could be a bi-product of everything else (and also aren't anti-depressants often detrimental to sexdrive?), or it could just be that the attraction is fading away (which could be a bigger problem). If you feel like it's the latter I'd maybe say take a look in the mirror and see if you look as good/fit/dress as well as you did when you guys met. I did that a while ago and realized I'd let myself go a bit so I lost a bunch of weight and got fitter again - not really for the sake of my relationship or anything - but it had a very positive side-effect on it in many ways.

[Smiffy]

It's not from this time Maz, it's from last time I brought us up several months ago, talking about some of our petty annoyances against each other (reading back it was only really two peope). I've spoken to my mum a couple times about it, and her general stance has been that no relationship is perfect, you need to work at it and you're always going to have fallings out, differences of opinions and even doubts, unless you find that one in million perfect soul mate. Which seems the obvious and sensible opinion, and one that most on here would probably go along with. Although I spoke to her the other day after our chat and she said maybe it's for the best and that we'd given it a good try. Fwiw, we've had one or two 'are we okay' chats in the past and basically decided we need to put our relationship ahead of work and try a bit harder.

I always find such conversations are unwarranted. Communication is very important but "are we OK" is a question that I find rather black or white. You know things aren't OK and if you feel that way then you can bet your bottom dollar that your partner isn't because when you're not OK or you're not feeling the love as much etc then irrespective of how she feels, you're not giving the real version of you.


The 'let's bin this' stuff is fair enough. She's quite driven and has plans on where she wants to be in life at certain points, which is something I've never really got. When she was at university she wanted to be a high level teacher, bought her first house and have two children by 30. She has the first two. Without going into too much detail, life in the bedroom (sorry I know that sounds silly) has gone stale which is surely one of our biggest issues. She's admitted that she's put up a barrier for the last several months. That's almost certainly having an effect. I'm also concerned she might be a bit depressed. Fed up with her job to the point she wants to leave, relationship having troubles and she generally seems pretty down. She takes anti depressants because she's had this before (before we met), and I do tho k she focuses on the negatives much.

I find such plans are pointless. Life gets in the way of such things as seems to be the case here but it seems standard form. It's wise to want the stability and good career prospects but other things like kids can't be planned so easily. Right time, right partner, right situation etc however with regards to the stale sex, that's easy to rectify and that's something you can control. Mix it up. Sex doesn't have to be confined to the bedroom, it doesn't have to be a wham, bam, thanks. Sex normally gets stale in relationships anyway, it's not like it was at the beginning but that's not a you thing, that's a 99/100 relationships thing. Are you both open to talking about your sex life or is it a situation whereby you both know it but don't fully divulge what you like, what works etc? Be spontaneous. Get her excited. Find new positions, new places, extend foreplay, step outside your comfort zone, introduce toys, get darker, tie her up, roleplay. It doesn't even have to 50 shades of grey. Give her a massage after work, make her wonder "wtf?" Obviously she needs to pull down that barrier but equally it's within your capabilities to break it down yourself.

If she is indeed depressed then you can't fault her for focussing on the negatives, that's the nature of the beast but equally it's as much down to her as it is to you to break free from that hold. Eat healthier, excercise more, do something different with yourself(ves), It's a tricky balance managing everything if she is indeed depressed but then she's got to want to help herself too. It's not easy but the best thing in that respect is for you to be there and support her but equally don't be a mug. You both need to try and improve things because anything less than 50-50 in the long term isn't going to work. She has to want this as much as you do, not to escape the darkness but to salvage what comes across as an average relationship. Take her swimming and fuck in the pool, go for a walk and just go hammer annd tongs somewhere. Add the excitement in. The risk of being caught is glorious (just not near playgrounds even if it will solve both your job woes ha)



From my perspective, I do want it to work, I just sometimes need that kick up the backside as a reminder. I've been so tired through work over the past couple of years, something I've not really experienced much of before as I've only worked regular hours (35-40 a week, which became 55-60 as a teacher). My old head teacher warned me when I started seeing my partner in my NQT year, telling me how tough it would be and that I'd need to work on my work life balance, and when I moved in with her one of my teaching mates I was working with asked me how I found the time (particularly as it meant a longer commute to work each day). Sorry if I'm going over old ground, but I think the context is important.

So Smiffy, yes I want to be with her, but I don't think we're one in a million soul mates or anything like that. The truth is, we love each other, but neither of us are quite sure if we're right to spend the rest of our lives together. I do support her in following her goals, and have encouraged her to look for other jobs (which she has been and is doing). We're on half term this week, we went out for the day yesterday and she's going to a spa for a couple of nights at the end of the week with her mum, which will give her a nice relaxing break, time apart and time to mull things over with her mum. We do get a decent amount of time off. We've been to Paris, Venice, South of France, London and other weekend and days away in England (Chester for a couple of weekends, for instance). We would have booked to to Barcelona this Christmas but we can't as we break up at different times.

I need to go out so I'll finish my response later.

At the end of the day, neither of us are 100% sure. To some, that would suggest that it's not quite working and we should call it a day. Others would say that few relationships are 100% and we shouldn't expect ours to be. This is the dilemma I'm facing.

I wouldn't suggest calling it a day simply because neither of you were sure. If that wasn't the case then I would say get out and get on with your life, do some self improvement and she'll soon realise she made an error but it doesn't sound like you're both at that point. Women are weird creatures, if she didn't want to be with you she'd be finding many more reasons so as not to be with you. (Admittedly not knowing the lass the job, sex life, mental state etc could be reasons she's using but not going all out to say it's over but it doesn't read as such).

I would however say the last thing you need is someone else, your mother or hers interfering, it's a situation that you both need to solve yourselves since inevitably when things aren't all that great in relationships the only things she's going to be telling her mum is the shit stuff, I'm sure you probably do the same with your own. Having breaks away is all very wel and good but it's just a different environment for a short time, you want to take her to a different place for a long time. Problem with breaks is the issues either get swept under the carpet until you both return home or you talk about said issues on break and then it doesn't actually become a break.

If I was in this situation personally then I would support her as you're doing but detach yourself a little bit, focus more on yourself than on her, take up some new hobbies, do some community work, some fundraising or whatever. Be the positive example, your only reason needs to be that you're not happy with how things are in your life so you're going to do something about it. When you both talk about your new interest or hobby, offer to take her along or something so she knows your not just getting your dick wet elsewhere as again it's a fine balance. You suddenly disappearing would inevitably make her fear the worst and maybe she'll start accusing you of stuff given her current mindset.

Why not start the next time you're home before her. Cook her a meal without telling her, get the candles on the go, start playing games. I once went the postit note route, little bits of information leading towards her finding the next note, to go look here there and everywhere for the next one. Make things exciting again. It's well within your grasp.

Again, might be some snippets of good info in there for you but the relationship is far from dead and buried. I don't know your past relationships or how much experience you have in them but it's more than salvagable if you're willing to put the effort in. Just be wary that it could all be for nothing as you can't make her mind up for her, you can just show her the best version of you and if that's not good enough for her then quite frankly fella, she's not good enough for you.

[ScousePig]

I think I'm probably understating the sex thing a bit. Her sex drive is practically zero, and has been for a while.

We're doing as you say in your first paragraph Maz, and seeing how we go. Neither of us think the relationship is dead, but it has dwindled and gone flat. I'm happy to make sacrifices for her, and I do accept that she will be like this from time to time, as it's not the first time even since we've been together. Theoretically that shouldn't be an issue, with my past experiences of mental health. To be honest I'd rather be with someone who has mental health experience. She's actively looking at other jobs. When she was last unhappy about a year ago, she had an interview somewhere else, and last week she had a look round a school. I don't want to go into too much detail because I'm uncomfortable sharing her life on a public forum, and not sure it's fair.

As for my personal aesthetics, I've always looked after myself and continue to do so. I don't think too much has changed on that front, apart from me being more tired. If anything, in the past I've overdone the exercise. I've always had a bit of a chubby face in comparison to my body, fwiw, but not sure that's relevant to much.

Agreed about the plans, Smiff. She brought it up when we were having our chat the other day, about where she sees herself and how I don't do that. I think she sees it as a bit of a negative that I don't think long term, but I just never have done. Back to the eating healthier - we both eat healthy, she is at Slimming World and sticks to it pretty well. She's actually the thinnest she's been since she moved down to Leeds when she was at uni 10 years ago. That concerns me a little as it happens; on Sunday when we went out for the afternoon, she'd only eaten two biscuits all day, and it was 4pm when we got home. She doesn't exercise as much as she'd like, but she does okay. She gives me quite a lot of massages due to my lifestyle, but barely wants one herself.

As for the hobbies section, she's just taken up knitting and started going to a class. She's quite outgoing as it happens, she has lots of close friends and does plenty of things. She also does voluntary work at cats protection from time to time. At the risk of sounding like an old retired couple (if we don't already), we bought a jigsaw aaages ago but have never got round to doing it. She phoned her dad yesterday to see if he could get a plywood board for us so that we could crack on with it. I don't have any new hobbies, however I've stopped playing football recently which can get me down. She's telling me I need to start playing again (although I'm currently injured). The problem is not playing in Sundays theoretically gives me more time to get my work done at the weekend, and allows for more 'us' time.

I do want to do something for her for when she gets back from her spa break on Saturday. Buy some flowers, cook a meal etc but that's not anything out of the ordinary. I haven't bought her flowers for a while and we generally have nights when each other cooks. Mine are usually Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Other days either she cooks or we cook together. She has in the past said it would be nice to come home after work and have tea on the table (which it always is on a Wednesday as she is late back). The problem with that is I rarely get home much before her if at all, and she does meal plans at the start of the week and I don't always know how to cook the things we're having (hence us cooking together sometimes).

[Smiffy]

Maybe prepare a meal in advance so all she has to do is heat it up when she comes back and you're not there? Bake her a cake or make some biscuits. Write her a letter telling her what she means to you, something that requires effort and a little time perhaps? A cheesy poem slipped under the pillow and what not. Buying flowers is all well and good but in the grand scheme of things it's piss easy to do that.

If you don't know how to cook the things you're having then learn. Anyone (myself included) who claims they can't cook is chatting shit, you're basically admitting to being unable to follow instructions as that's all it is. Trial and error thereafter. Maybe take a cooking course yourself or with her as it sounds you spend some time together in the kitchen at least and any time should be quality time. Just continue to show you're willing to try these things. If it doesn't help your relationship then at least it'll help you for in the future too. Sidenote: If she attends Slimming World they give out booklets with recipes in anyway, if your partner hasn't already got them then just pop down there and grab one anyway. Red day green day bollocks still, I think?

Not playing football on Sunday's is a bit of a feable excuse, I mean it's 2/3 hours out of a day, nothing major so rid yourself of that excuse. You know you feel better in yourself when playing too as it's something you enjoy. Injuries permitting. If she doesn't care for massages then maybe run her a bath, few candles here and there, even share one together if it's big enough. Lather up the soap and turn that into a massage whilst in the bath, hell, play it right, start slipping towards her boobs, few kisses on the neck and who knows, a new take one some watersports. Sex in the shower is pretty handy too.

Her diet could be in relation to her mood, as you said your own experience in mental health should tell you all you need to know there. Your appetite goes, your desire to move and be active deminishes and what have you. Just gentle nudges in the right direction helps instead of confronting her about what she probably already knows. Just remain supportive init.

What are you like at DIY, crafts and the like? Grab some pallets, get on the DIY groups and maybe start improving the back garden or something, create a nice place for you both to relax in. Watch as it comes together, nice cosy night by the log burner outside, solar lights planted around, take a blanket and lie by the fire whilst gazing at the stars. Romantic things in the eyes of a woman at least. (admittedly probably the wrong time of year to do that but nothing stopping you wrapping up and snuggling up and just enjoying the silence together).

If she doesn't exercise as much as she used to then a simple solution would be to buy a Wii fitness thing, turn it into a game together, challenge her and have some living room fun.

Keep at it. If it's worth saving, go for it. It's actually nice to see two seemingly mature adults at least acknowledge that things aren't as they were instead of slipping off into the darkness and finding fulfillment elsewhere. You at least have that going for you both. Good luck.

[Mazuuurk]

BTW Scouse, we haven't talked about that either but I'm supposing the discussion about Kids have been had at some point?

If that's something she wants, and you don't (right now?), that could also be a factor in all this?


Of course I understand any unwillingness to commit to something like that given the circumstances, but yeah.

[ScousePig]

We haven't discussed children. It's just not right for us at the moment. One of her best friends from school has just had her first baby, but her and her husband have been together 10+ years I think and married for several too. I don't know if that's playing on her mind.

Smiffy, the reason we cook together sometimes is so that I learn the recipes she cooks. We can only have certain recipes with her being on a diet. The meals I cook for us now have been learnt from her and her slimming world books. The letter or baking thoughts are both good ideas, and I'll try and do both for when she gets back on Saturday. She will appreciate the effort.

I'm not sure what you mean by the football on a Sunday being an excuse. Fwiw, it's half the day not just 2/3 hours, as I had to leave at 9.30am and didn't get home until 2.30pm ish. She likes baths and we do share them occasionally, but that's entirely dependent on her. Sex in the bath or shower is something she is rarely if ever interested in, she just never really seems bothered. I am supportive of her diet, lifestyle etc because as you say I've been through it myself.

DIY wise I've painted and decorated the living room in the past few months, and we've done quite a lot of work in the garden as it's something we're both keen on. It's not really the time of year now for the outdoors though. The main thing that needed sorting in the house was the living room, and as I say I've done that (furniture too, for anyone who read our recent dilemma on that) We recently had a new boiler done so the old water tank was taken out of the airing cupboard, and she wants that turning into a wardrobe. We've also discussed getting a proper dropdown loft ladder so we can get in and out easily, but she knows someone who can come and do that. A Wii fitness or something like that might be a good idea actually, any particular recommendations?

[Mazuuurk]

Scouse mate I'm sorry, but you do kind of come off as 65 here.

Do you ever just go out and get fucked together? That's awesome.

[ScousePig]

I know. And no we don't, but we're teachers in our thirties; aren't we boring by definition?

She occasionally goes out, has cocktails and gets a bit hammered with her various mates from work/uni/home, but the only times I've really been out and got hammered in the past couple of years have been with my old work colleagues, and the work colleagues before that (basically my last two schools). I can't remember really even going out with my footy mates much, aside from a couple of pints after the games sometimes.

I'll be honest, it just doesn't really appeal that much as a couple. We did go out a few times with our neighbours over the summer and that was good, but there was a group of us.

[Mazuuurk]

I mean you can start it off as a dinner date type thing and then see it as an occasion to have some slightly more uninhibited fun together.

Whats the worst that can happen.

[ScousePig]

I've booked a table at a restaurant for Saturday, just up the road from where we had our first date. It's a small Italian and gets lots of good reviews.

[Magic]

Nothing sums up a failed relationship more than a soggy bowl of spaghetti. Good work Scouse.

[Smiffy]

Which book was that from?

[Clunge]

So I've been dating / now seeing srsly a Portuguese girl since June.

It's been fucking amazing. I mean, she's even expressed an interest in learning about cricket.

What a delightful lunatic. I love her. I'm off to see her now, bye.

[Spikey M]

Well, that was something.

[igor_balis]

Nothing sums up a failed relationship more than a soggy bowl of spaghetti. Good work Scouse.

Spaghetti?! Alright, your highness.

[igor_balis]

Messaged a girl I've fancied for a few months, asking her pretty unambiguously on a date. I've quite enjoyed feeling like a lovesick teenager, trying to fecklessly work out if she's interested in me, but she's quite guarded and tough to read so I thought fuck it, at least this way I'll know. In the past the fear of rejection has stopped me from asking out girls who I was about 90% sure did like me, so it's quite nice to have the balls to ask out a girl even when I'd say it's probably 25/75 if I'm being generous. God loves a trier, I guess.

[Greg]

Married lads, how did you propose? Did you take a more traditional route or something over the top and wanky?

[Kikó]

We were over in Portugal at their home for her sisters baby christening/baptism. I was supposed to have the stones to ask her dad prior if I could have his daughter in marriage etc but bottled it so once he left, the next night, I proposed near her home. Nothing too elaborate other than picking the right place.

[Giggles]

I just asked over a drink on holidays.

[Magic]

At her 21st.

[Spammer]

Messaged a girl I've fancied for a few months, asking her pretty unambiguously on a date. I've quite enjoyed feeling like a lovesick teenager, trying to fecklessly work out if she's interested in me, but she's quite guarded and tough to read so I thought fuck it, at least this way I'll know. In the past the fear of rejection has stopped me from asking out girls who I was about 90% sure did like me, so it's quite nice to have the balls to ask out a girl even when I'd say it's probably 25/75 if I'm being generous. God loves a trier, I guess.

Keep us updated, we're rooting for you. Your courage gives us all something to believe in.

[Pen]

Married lads, how did you propose? Did you take a more traditional route or something over the top and wanky?

Asked ’for her hand’ from her father and grandad (although would’ve gone through with anyway). Then proposed later that day in a place where her parents got married and it has a Romeo and Juliet type of story. Played a blinder there and waited just ten years to take her up on her promise to marry me.

[Raoul Duke]

Flew her away for a surprise trip to Barcelona and did it on a beach at sunset.

It's all about 'the story', so it's worth putting the effort in.

[Baz]

Went to Cockermouth, made a few puns so we fell out and then BAM.

[Danny]

My mam was over visiting and she knew I had been planning it for a while. We drown down to palm beach to spend the weekend with the missus parents.

We got there the Friday night and when she went inside for something I asked her Dad. He approved but I wasn't sure what the plan was going to be. It was then decided we would go to the beach on the Evening. So I did it out there under a full moon.

[Giggles]

My mam was over visiting and she knew I had been planning it for a while. We drown down to palm beach to spend the weekend with her parents.

We got there the Friday night and when she went inside for something I asked her Dad. He approved but I wasn't sure what the plan was going to be. It was then decided we would go to the beach on the Evening. So I didnt it out there under a full moon.

Raoul should tell this one at dinner parties instead.

[Danny]

She realized pretty quickly I had no clue what I was going to do and I just winged it. Maybe leave that bit out.

[Spikey M]

Went to her favourite restaurant at Canary Wharf on a mild August day. I had the ring in my jacket pocket which had since made it’s way to being in my bag as it was too hot to wear it. No problem, I’ll get the ring when she goes to the bog. Which she still hadn’t done when fucking dessert arrived. In the end I had to pretend that I had seen a couple of umbrellas up out sider so I could get my jacket out.

Should have waited until after the baby, there’s no way she’s going more than a course between slashes these days.

[Mazuuurk]

"On a mild August day..:" :D

[Pepe]

We just decided to do it for potential spousal hires and/or for me to become French.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We just decided to do it for potential spousal hires and/or for me to become French.

Have you not suffered enough?

[Spikey M]

Imagine putting effort in to become French.

[Pepe]

The alternative is becoming American.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh, right. As you were.

[Spikey M]

That might be the worlds best example of a ‘rock and a hard place’.

[Mazuuurk]

And still apparently it beats just being Mexican.

[Lewis]

You're better off being American than French.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Americans can't live and love in 27 different EU countries, m8.

[Pepe]

If I get a job here, then I'll probably stay. But if I don't then I'll try to live and love in one of the 27 EU countries. I tried looking for jobs in Mexico but even finding job ads was a nightmare, so I gave up on that.

[Lewis]

Americans can't live and love in 27 different EU countries, m8.

Remember when Ital claimed America had more 'diversity' than India because there some people like NASCAR more than others? Well I agree.

[Boydy]

I'd rather be French than English.

[Spikey M]

Great so now we need a fucking wall.

[igor_balis]

Keep us updated, we're rooting for you. Your courage gives us all something to believe in.

She said no </3

Worth a shot though.

[igor_balis]

Just matched with a girl on tinder, and she instantly messaged me. Assumed it was a bot, instead i got "you look like you're on base you scruff". Bit harsh.

[leedsrevolution]

Just matched with a girl on tinder, and she instantly messaged me. Assumed it was a bot, instead i got "you look like you're on base you scruff". Bit harsh.

I don't even know what that means.

[Dark Soldier]

I don't even know what that means.

I think it means he fucks kids or something.

[igor_balis]

base means speed you losers

[igor_balis]

only know that because my dad legitimately was addicted to base amphetamines so a bit close to the bone

[Lewis]

Well, I've learned something today. From my perspective, his addiction was completely worth it.

[leedsrevolution]

base means speed you losers

I've never once heard speed been called base.

[phonics]

I thought base was meth?

edit: Turns out it's anything

Free base (freebase, free-base) is the conjugate base (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conjugate_base) (deprotonated (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deprotonation)) form of an amine (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amine), as opposed to its conjugate acid (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conjugate_acid) (protonated (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protonation)) form. The amine is often an alkaloid (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alkaloid), such as nicotine (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicotine), cocaine (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocaine), morphine (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morphine), and ephedrine (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephedrine), or derivatives thereof.

It just means you're smoking it rather than taking it in another form.

[Baz]

https://massappeal.com/wp-content/uploads/42.gif

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A substance made up of about 60% amphetamine.
In contrast to speed, which is made up of about 5% amphetamine.

Often methamphetamine is defined as base: "a purer form of speed".
Methamphetamine is a completely different chemical, with different effects. Base is the same chemical as speed, just in much higher concentrations.
Usually has a different effect to speed, as the higher dosage doesn't just mean fuller effects, but whole new ones as well.

NB: both amphetamine and methamphetamine have absolutely NOTHING to do with 2,3 methylenedioxymethamphetamine (ecstasy), despite the uneducated and ill-informed ramblings of the DEA.
personone: Meth is just a purer form of speed.
persontwo: No, that's base you idiot. Meth is a different chemical to speed.
personone: Allow me to kiss your educated feet, master. I revere in your mighty intelligence.

[Disco]

What the fuck is all that bollocks.

[Raoul Duke]

28th November: Mahow's poems get weird

[Mazuuurk]

I know I'm foreign and all, but to me the word "base" has always meant like a headquarter or a point of origin for operations of some kind, alternatively like a foundation.

[igor_balis]

Well forget that base-ic bitch (ha get it?), I've got a "coffee date" with a real fitty this afternoon. I'm a bit nervous because I'm absolutely punching, not helped by a couple of female friends saying essentially "wow, really?" Also, this is my first tinder date that hasn't involved booze. Hopefully nervous energy makes me funny and interesting rather than anxious and sweaty. Thank fuck it's fucking freezing.

[Magic]

Hopefully the coffee place is absolutely sweltering, and bustling so you both have to shout making it even more awkward.

[igor_balis]

reach into my jacket to get my wallet and all my speed falls onto the counter

[Kikó]

Just chill out. The worst that can happen is you soiling yourself.

[Mazuuurk]

You will fucking bottle it.

[igor_balis]

thanks for the support, lads

[Mazuuurk]

We're all here for each other.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Slip her some TTH business cards.

We could do with more people lolling at you.

[igor_balis]

Shoulda known better than to get overly excited. It was pretty crap. Nice enough girl but zero chemistry.

[Magic]

Don't take shit from Levi Bellfield mk2.

[Boydy]

Apparently my housemate has this annoying yank that he's trying to get it on with around. They've taken over the living room to watch a film (on my tv no less). Ffs.

Apparently he's also been playing guitar and singing for her. Fucking cringe.

[Giggles]

Commiserations. The last thing anyone needs in their life is a female yank, especially if you're not the one giving her one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's (Northern) Oirish right? I doubt he needs to go to that much effort with a Yank.

[Lewis]

Good on them if it keeps their marriage fresh, although you should probably have moved out by now.

[Boydy]

When do we get your Christmas post complaining about having to share mummy with your little cousin?

[Lewis]

Cousin's kid, and probably next week if they haven't all fallen out again.

[Boydy]

Your cousin's kid is still a (variety of) cousin.

Anyway, she's left.

[Lewis]

Cousins aren't even worthwhile family members, so their definitely bent kids are even less so.

[Spammer]

Indeed, I've no idea what's happening here.

Said goodbye to lass I'm seeing. She's off travelling around the world for 5 months. I've got a mate in the Philippines who I'm going to ask to follow her around the whole time to make sure she doesn't talk to any other blokes, but when she's elsewhere I just can't be sure that it's only women she's talking to at all times. It's hard.

...I've got shit to get on with for the next five months so we'll wait and see until she gets back. I'm keeping it cool though. We've both said we'll take a step back from the relationship and allow ourselves to enjoy ourselves properly, and then just see where we're at when she's back.

She's back in a couple of weeks :cool:

Been chatting basically every day on Whatsapp/Facebook Chat since she left. Not sure if it's gonna be a hugely affectionate 'airport scene in Love Actually' type reunion or if it's going to be a subdued, very British 'go to the pub all casually and then take her home later' kind of thing, but either way I can't fucking wait. She's ace.

[Giggles]

She'll come back knocked up, riddled, or both :drool:

[Spikey M]

She’ll have a clopper like a fisherman’s pockets.

[igor_balis]

I'm going for date #2 with Spanish vet lady next week. She's 25, cute and funny, but her Inglés not so good, and she's fucking 4'11'' as well which is a bit unsettling. I fear she might be a bit too wholesome and milletsy for my liking too - all sensible waterproofs and walks in the country and trips to the zoo. Might be good for me though, I spose.

[Giggles]

The old saying that what you want is 'a lady in public and a whure in the bedroom'. Could be on to a winner.

[Spikey M]

A vet as well, so the role play should be good. Just don’t let her take your temperature.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm going for date #2 with Spanish vet lady next week. She's 25, cute and funny, but her Inglés not so good, and she's fucking 4'11'' as well which is a bit unsettling. I fear she might be a bit too wholesome and milletsy for my liking too - all sensible waterproofs and walks in the country and trips to the zoo. Might be good for me though, I spose.

Watch out for them fucking off back to the land of cured ham after Brexit. Happened to my mate with his bitch Greek nurse, as she's convinced herself that stitching up lepers in Thessaloniki is a better long term bet than marrying a finance professional in Surrey.

[Lewis]

My friend - the one who is scam-married to an American so that he can live over there - went out with a girl from Barcelona in 2010 who convinced him that there was no way he could join her over there. His little face when I told him otherwise about six months after she had pissed off.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm going for date #2 with Spanish vet lady next week. She's 25, cute and funny, but her Inglés not so good, and she's fucking 4'11'' as well which is a bit unsettling. I fear she might be a bit too wholesome and milletsy for my liking too - all sensible waterproofs and walks in the country and trips to the zoo. Might be good for me though, I spose.

About the same height as Ronnie Corbett, ask her if she's got four candles.

[igor_balis]

I had to translate from 150cm as well. Maybe I should just roll with it, at least she might disregard my weirdness as stuff just being lost in translation.

[McAvennie]

All the same height lying down...

[randomlegend]

Just completely lost my temper and told the girlfriend's mum and sister exactly what I think of them. Whoops. Not sure there's any coming back from that.

[Lewis]

Well in, mate.

[Spikey M]

Just completely lost my temper and told the girlfriend's mum and sister exactly what I think of them. Whoops. Not sure there's any coming back from that.

Depends what you think of them. “I think you’re alright” would probably go over ok. Assuming that’s not what you said - what did you say?

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Depends what you think of them. “I think you’re alright” would probably go over ok. Assuming that’s not what you said - what did you say?

:D

[randomlegend]

I told them they are a pair of cunts and that I feel sorry for my girlfriend having them as her family.

[Baz]

Was your girlfriend present?

[Pepe]

Haven't you two been together since you were like twelve?

[randomlegend]

Yes and yes,

[Pepe]

In any case, I'm sure you can lol it off.

[Giggles]

What brought it on (the final straw like) and what was the girlfriends reaction?

[randomlegend]

Girlfriend just can't deal with the fact I don't get on with them. She's accepts they are difficult but she's always been really close to them and isn't just going to cut ties or anything. Which I understand, it's a shitty position for her to be in.

Final straw was just that I went round tonight and was making a real effort with them (I haven't been round much lately because it's pretty obvious we don't particularly get on) for the girlfriend's sake. They were just being their unpleasant, shitty, snide selves regardless of the fact I was obviously trying to get on. Just snapped. Never, ever lose my temper usually (other than with my older brother).

[Offshore Toon]

Is the dad around in general or did you wait until he nipped to the shops to give it the big'un?

[randomlegend]

He has to drive around the country a lot for work and stays away occasionally. He was away tonight. I don't feel like I 'gave it the bigun', I just lost my temper like a little kid.

I don't know how he puts up with them, he's really nice and we get on really well but he just ignores all their shit. He must have the patience of a saint.

[Kikó]

Get in mate. You should have hit them as well.

[Baz]

My wifes mum absolutely bores me to death. Talking to her is like mind-numbingly painful.

I’d never shout at her like a little weirdo though. Good luck mending that, lol.

[Pepe]

Either they will back off or, more likely, they are the kind who love drama, so they will just add a few snide remarks here and there. Either way, you need to stand your ground from now on. There is no backing down from this one.

[Lewis]

No point having a pretend illness if you can't blame the out MELTDOWN on it. You'll be back in by the weekend.

[Kikó]

Isn't this how Magic's start to end?

[Offshore Toon]

What's the latest with Magic? Divorce proceedings started yet?

[Disco]

Not likely, they're all under the patio by now.

[Kikó]

He's with sister Vim in a bedsit.

[Pepe]

What's the latest with Magic? Divorce proceedings started yet?

He doesn't post much anymore, which means that he is probably living in his car and has no access to an internet connection.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

What exactly happened with Magic? Everything's passed me by on that.

[Baz]

What exactly happened with Magic? Everything's passed me by on that.Jeez don’t you read Reddit?!

[Giggles]

What exactly happened with Magic? Everything's passed me by on that.

I'm not sure myself. She went but I don't know if it was permanent or temporary or what happened after that. Boydy has been pushing like fuck for answers :D

[Spikey M]

I fucking hated one of my ex’s mums and the feeling was more than mutual. You have my sympathy RL. It makes shit awkward across the board.

The only POSSIBLE route to civility from here is to own it, whilst accepting you have massively overreacted. Let things cool down for a bit, then sit them down and explain - without 4 letter words - why you erupted. I’d try to finish on the conclusion that you’re never going to be bezzing it, but you both love their daughter so you are stuck with each other. From there you can probably achieve an uncomfortably over the top politeness for all future interactions.

[Dark Soldier]

I told them they are a pair of cunts and that I feel sorry for my girlfriend having them as her family.

Clothesline the mam then windmill your dick in her face screaming "That's from DS you slaaaaaaaaag" next time you see her, and I'll paypal you £20. £30 if you film it.

[Pepe]

I'm not sure myself. She went but I don't know if it was permanent or temporary or what happened after that. Boydy has been pushing like fuck for answers :D

He's probably waiting for a chance to swoop in.

[Spikey M]

I’m in for a fiver

[Dark Soldier]

So that's Pepe pledging £100 via PM and spikes in for a fiver. You've gotta do it RL.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'll go in for £20 too.

[randomlegend]

I fucking hated one of my ex’s mums and the feeling was more than mutual. You have my sympathy RL. It makes shit awkward across the board.

The only POSSIBLE route to civility from here is to own it, whilst accepting you have massively overreacted. Let things cool down for a bit, then sit them down and explain - without 4 letter words - why you erupted. I’d try to finish on the conclusion that you’re never going to be bezzing it, but you both love their daughter so you are stuck with each other. From there you can probably achieve an uncomfortably over the top politeness for all future interactions.

I can ignore how they treat me (usually), but mostly it's how they treat her that really pisses me off.

I honestly fucking hate her mum so much.

[Dark Soldier]

Then fucking clothesline her, dickhead

[Spoonsky]

You've known these people for years, right? If you really hate them that much then it's been a top effort to avoid an outburst till this long.

[Disco]

It's fine, they're bound to have thought you were a cunt all along, this just confirms their suspicions. And who doesn't enjoy that?

[Pepe]

When are we getting stories of how many sloots you've slashed Spoons?

[Spoonsky]

When I smash a sloot I actually like I'll tell you.

[randomlegend]

You've known these people for years, right? If you really hate them that much then it's been a top effort to avoid an outburst till this long.

There's been fairly obvious tension at times, but no I've never snapped before.

And yeah I've known them since I was 13 (now 26).

[Pepe]

When I smash a sloot I actually like I'll tell you.

:cool:

[Dark Soldier]

Spoonsky can legally shag women (or men, whichever, I'm not judging) now? Fucking hell I feel old.

[Raoul Duke]

He's American. He could fuck a Senator.

[Pleb]

:D

[Spoonsky]

Spoonsky can legally shag women (or men, whichever, I'm not judging) now? Fucking hell I feel old.

Actually because I took a year off I'm at least a year older than almost everyone I know here...

[mugbull]

You're a 20 year old freshman yeah? Crazy ish. It's probably better in the long run that way honestly though

[Spoonsky]

It's definitely better for me at least. Wouldn't want to be going in as an 18yo pleb.

[randomlegend]

Girlfriend's just asked me if it's possible for me to change my foundation post application to another area of the country so we could move away from everyone next year :drool:

It's not possible, but still.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You'd escape your mothers ladle.

[randomlegend]

I've honestly no idea where your thing about my mum hitting me with a ladle has come from.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She threatened you when we were playing Rocket League because you didn't tidy your room as potential buyers were coming the next day, no?

[randomlegend]

Oh maybe :D

[Spoonsky]

Girlfriend's just asked me if it's possible for me to change my foundation post application to another area of the country so we could move away from everyone next year :drool:

It's not possible, but still.

So the outburst worked?

[randomlegend]

Potentially yes.

[Pepe]

Got married today. The crowd in the court was every bit as lol as you would imagine a court in Missouri to be.

[Lewis]

Was it a scam marriage?

[Pepe]

No, we've been together for seven years. It was a convenience marriage though, in that if either of us gets a job, then we can both stay and if neither of us finds anything, then we can fuck off to France/Mexico.

[Lewis]

Oh congratulations then mate.

[Pepe]

:cool:

[Pleb]

Pepe :cool:

[Ian]

Got married today. The crowd in the court was every bit as lol as you would imagine a court in Missouri to be.

Well in, lad.

[Spoonsky]

:cool:

[Giggles]

Nice one Peps.

[McAvennie]

Congratulations 🍻

[Spikey M]

No, we've been together for seven years. It was a convenience marriage though, in that if either of us gets a job, then we can both stay and if neither of us finds anything, then we can fuck off to France/Mexico.

You old romantic. :cool:

Congratulations P dog.

[Boydy]

A French wife. Living the dream.

Congrats, Pepe.

[Mazuuurk]

I have this idea that French women are good looking, drama queens, always wear sexy underwear but are somewhat underwhelming in the sack.


Can you confirm, Pepe?

[Spammer]

She's back in a couple of weeks :cool:

Been chatting basically every day on Whatsapp/Facebook Chat since she left. Not sure if it's gonna be a hugely affectionate 'airport scene in Love Actually' type reunion or if it's going to be a subdued, very British 'go to the pub all casually and then take her home later' kind of thing, but either way I can't fucking wait. She's ace.

We were supposed to meet at noon today but she's arriving on a later train because she was looking at dog memes on the internet and lost track of time :moop:

[Ian]

That's a deal-breaker, surely? Having little enough shame about it to tell you that's the reason definitely is.

[Mazuuurk]

What? Sounds cool to me.

Getting fucked off about something like that seems like a right little precious thing to do, so that would seem to me like an indicator that maybe she's not too much maintenance.

[SvN]

Few things make me seethe more than perpetual lateness.

[Mazuuurk]

If it's perpetual, it's a different story. That's French woman behaviour right there.

Right, Pepe?

[SvN]

My brother in law is late for everything. We look after his dog fairly regularly, and he's always at least an hour late dropping him off. Most of the time it makes no difference, but sometimes we're planning on going out as soon as he arrives, so we're sat waiting for up to 2 hours sometimes. He never has an excuse and always lies about being "on his way" when he's clearly in the gym or something.

It's actually cost him his previous relationship, as his girlfriend tried everything to try and get him to actually be on time for stuff, but she gave up.

[igor_balis]

she sounds zany. does she like gin, Hammer ?

[Mazuuurk]

My brother in law is late for everything. We look after his dog fairly regularly, and he's always at least an hour late dropping him off. Most of the time it makes no difference, but sometimes we're planning on going out as soon as he arrives, so we're sat waiting for up to 2 hours sometimes. He never has an excuse and always lies about being "on his way" when he's clearly in the gym or something.

It's actually cost him his previous relationship, as his girlfriend tried everything to try and get him to actually be on time for stuff, but she gave up.

Not even sure if that qualifies as "lateness" or just complete nonchalans to be honest. To me someone who is always late is maybe 5-10 minutes late usually to meeting up, and sometimes arrives 30 minutes late when there's a group or something.

But that bloke sounds a bit different.

[Kikó]

Fuck off with your Swedish words.

[Mazuuurk]

Ät skit

[Disco]

I don't like being late but I'm utterly incapable of starting to get ready until the very last possible minute. It used to drive my housemates wild because, if we were all going somewhere, I'd intentionally be the last person ready just so I didn't have to wait for anyone else.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I don't like being late but I'm utterly incapable of starting to get ready until the very last possible minute. It used to drive my housemates wild because, if we were all going somewhere, I'd intentionally be the last person ready just so I didn't have to wait for anyone else.

There's also the matter of trying to conveniently avoid people. I'm out with all my close friends tonight for a Christmas meal but the girlfriend of one of them is truly insufferable (everyone in the group thinks this and he's obviously unaware). Need to time it late enough so that I'm not left alone with them to begin with but not so late that the only seat left is next to her.

[Disco]

For sure, you can immediately add at least another hour to whatever time everyone is supposed to be meeting.

[McAvennie]

The easy way to solve this issue is always tell the mate to meet you two hours before the actual event, thus increasing their chance of being on time

[Disco]

Or, if they're late arriving, just leave anyway and let them deal with it.

[Spikey M]

Just tell them before hand. “We’re going out at 2. If you’re late we won’t be in”

[7om]

Congratulations, Pepe. :cool:

[Foe]

Pepe :cool:

[Kikó]

Congrats Pepe.

[Spammer]

Just tell them before hand. “We’re going out at 2. If you’re late we won’t be in”

This. They'll learn soon enough if it's their day getting fucked up and not yours.

[Smiffy]

Being the classy individual I am, I screwed the Romanian sous chef.... in the bathroom on a manky duvet.

Lass I got with in Guernsey some eight years ago, the one I can't even remember sleeping with, we rekindled our fleeting romance recently but she wants more and that's a no go as far as I'm concerned.

I'm right back on it after a few years not even being interested. I've had more sex this last three months than the last three years. I don't know what it is but it's easy again. I went through a stage where I was just socially awkward or not confident enough anymore. Fuck knows.

Truly on top form but it's me so I'll blow it eventually. :Cool:

I ended up getting together with the Romanian four weeks ago and so far it's actually been really good. She's every bit as fucked as I am so it's a nice even balance. :D

She treats me like a king. :cool: Fuck yeah.

[Pepe]

Just became an uncle. :cool:

[Spoonsky]

Is [s]he named Pepe?

[Pepe]

He isn't unfortunately. The father seems to be a bit of a pleb too, but we'll find out for sure next week.

[Boydy]

What'd you post that in here for? You hoping to paedo the kid?

[Pepe]

Father's pleb status confirmed. He was kicked out of the hospital during labor (fuck knows what he did) and now he is banned. He has yet to meet his son and he could not be included in the birth certificate because he is not allowed in to sign. :harold:

[Spoonsky]

:-º

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

lol.

[Spoonsky]

I hooked up with one of my best friends on Friday night (almost all of my friends here are girls). Oops.

Part of me feels like 'what have you done!', part of me would be happy to be in a relationship with her. But the idea of being in a relationship right now also freaks me out a little, so who knows.

[Magic]

Gay cunt.

[Spoonsky]

:violin:

[Raoul Duke]

It's uni. You're supposed to be making awkward mistakes. Just don't end up marrying her or getting her up the duff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What does 'hooked up' mean? Is it a catch all term covering everything from smiling at her to a Nazi-themed orgy?

[Giggles]

What does 'hooked up' mean? Is it a catch all term covering everything from smiling at her to a Nazi-themed orgy?

It shouldn't be anything less than a game of hide the sausage.

[Magic]

I always thought it was a literal term, as in you're latching a snatch on your meathook. If anyone uses it for like necking or a bit of fingering they are full on nonce imo.

[Disco]

Do you think you could find a less pleasant way to word that.

[SvN]

I think Americans use "hooking up" synonymously with "making out".

[Giggles]

I think Americans use "hooking up" synonymously with "making out".

If so then it's completely un-newsworthy.

[SvN]

I didn't realise the global press had got wind of it.

[phonics]

Is Spoon a Mormon or just from that part of the world?

[Pepe]

Jewsky.

[Spoonsky]

It's an American college term, it loosely means anything from making-out up to (but possibly not including) actual sex. So if I make out with someone on a dance floor, it's hooking up, but if I go home with them it could also be called hooking up. Basically it's a way of getting the necessary point across while keeping it vague as possible.

[SvN]

So which was it?

[Spoonsky]

We don't use the term necking so I'm not sure I understand it completely, but I guess that?

She was wearing a turtleneck the next day.

[Giggles]

Any fingering?

Either of you counts.

[Danny]

Any fingering?

Either of you counts.

:D

[Pleb]

We don't use the term necking so I'm not sure I understand it completely, but I guess that?

She was wearing a turtleneck the next day.
Tell us more?

[Mazuuurk]

Spoon don't tell us you did that thing where kids suck each others necks to leave a mark?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Spoon don't tell us you did that thing where kids suck each others necks to leave a mark?

It's the mormon way.

[Giggles]

It's the mormon way.

You've too many m's in that.

[Waffdon]

Spoon don't tell us you did that thing where kids suck each others necks to leave a mark?

Some girl I went home with the other month choked for this. Bitch just kept asking for more and more. The absolute state of her neck. :D

Unsure whether or not to post the photo.

[Pleb]

This gets better :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You've got to.

[Waffdon]

I forgot how bad it really was hahahahaha

https://i.imgur.com/xudGnZr.jpg

[Pleb]

Fucking hell :D

[Pepe]

That's great. :D

[mugbull]

It's an American college term, it loosely means anything from making-out up to (but possibly not including) actual sex. So if I make out with someone on a dance floor, it's hooking up, but if I go home with them it could also be called hooking up. Basically it's a way of getting the necessary point across while keeping it vague as possible.

I don’t think only making out is hooking up, you definitely have to be taking off some clothes for it to count as that. If someone told me they hooked up with a girl and i later found out they dancefloor made out i’d be callin him a fatty fibber

[Spoonsky]

Fucking hell Waff, how big is your mouth?

I didn't realize that hickeys were a generational thing though.

[Mazuuurk]

Fucking hell Waff, how big is your mouth?

I didn't realize that hickeys were a generational thing though.

Well once you get older than about 14, you realize it looks fucking retarded to voluntarily walk around with a massive mark on your neck, which only purpose furthermore is to prove that someone else was sucking on your neck, which as far as sucking goes honestly is one of the least interesting places to have someone suck on really.

[Jimmy Floyd]

At our school there was a rumour that the 40-something female deputy head (who always wore a scarf even in hot weather) did so because she constantly had lovebites from 'hooking up' with the sixth form boys who did rowing (which is a sport associated with big, swinging dicks for some reason). This rumour was always dismissed as completely implausible, until it emerged she literally had shagged one (but just after he left school which I think made it technically OK).

[Magic]

Rowing and big dicks? :D

You posh cunt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We've been posting on the same board for well over a decade, you can't be surprised.