The Ultimate WWE Thread

[Smjffy]

It is a woman's tag match that is on right now, right? It seems so weird without an crowd.

[Browning]

It is a woman's tag match that is on right now, right? It seems so weird without an crowd.

Correct.

I've not seen any of the other no crowd shows, but it really is horrible.

[Smjffy]

I think I preferred that Alexa Bliss when she was a baddy. Any ideas what matches are tonight and which ones are tomorrow, Browning?

[Smjffy]

Jesus. It's cringe material.

[Browning]

I think I preferred that Alexa Bliss when she was a baddy. Any ideas what matches are tonight and which ones are tomorrow, Browning?

Tonight is:

AJ Vs Taker
Becky Vs Shayna
Daniel Bryan Vs Sami Zayn
Jimmy Uso Vs John Morrison Vs Kofi Kingston
Elias Vs Corbin
Kabuki Warriors Vs Alexa and Nikki
Braun Strowman Vs Goldberg
KO Vs Seth Rollins

[Smjffy]

Goldberg and Taker back....:nono:

I don't mind Taker being a cripple but his Wrestlemania legacy is over so why milk a dead cow?

DB v Zayn and KO v Rollins suggest it might be worth staying up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That entrance :lol:

So bad.

[Lewis]

We got a stream lads?

[Smjffy]

We got a stream lads?

https://cytu.be/r/Cenation

[Lewis]

This is weird. Why are they doing it?

[phonics]

The bloke put on a PPV after killing one of his employees. The show must go on.

[Smjffy]

Stream died then it restarts with DB coming out. :moop:

This one should be pretty good even without crowd interaction.

[Lewis]

Yeah, the week-to-week wank. You wouldn't expect him to cheapen their biggest event like this when there are loads of other shit pay per views they could shuffle around once things get back to normal.

[Browning]

I think this was their only choice. If you changed this to some other shite and moved Mania to the Summer (or later) you'd either have to have the rumble winners challenge for the belts at not-mania, which would be shit, or hold them off from challenging for months, which would be even more shit. It's still fucking weird though.

Vince is my hero though. He's absolutely ruined Shayna with that 1 piece of shit booking, and it's glorious.

[Smjffy]

https://cytu.be/r/LNW
Lewis.

[phonics]

Vince hates tag team wrestling so much we're having a singles match for the tag titles.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Or because The Miz was sick so sent home...

[phonics]

Gotta disagree with JBL that ‘This is what Wrestlemania is all about’

[Smjffy]

:moop: So KO wins by DQ but has the authority to restart the match from a shitty finish.

Why not. I don't know what has resulted in these two facing off but having your WrestleMania moment stolen by a bell to the face is reason enough to continue but then it depends what they are doing with Rollins. Difficult to really get invested when you don't know the backstory.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He challenged him to another match, he didn't make it himself. That was my MOTN anyway.

I did not think that Boatman would ever win a World Title. Shame it's years late and it will only last until Summer Slam.

[phonics]

:moop: So KO wins by DQ but has the authority to restart the match from a shitty finish.

Why not. I don't know what has resulted in these two facing off but having your WrestleMania moment stolen by a bell to the face is reason enough to continue but then it depends what they are doing with Rollins. Difficult to really get invested when you don't know the backstory.

It's a fantastic swerve imo. Best match of the night.

[Gray Fox]

Yeah don't get too caught up in the "rules" of WWE. They've had disqualifications called in Hell in a Cell matches before for someone hammering a toolbox.

Good to see Strowman getting a reward for a lot of jobbing but shame he can't really celebrate it.

[Smjffy]

The Undertaker has never looked so good...I wonder how many takes this took. The documentary tomorrow is definitely viewing material though just for the fact it's unTaker like to do such things. :moop:

Strowman would be a good champions but as Mahow said, they missed the boat years ago but then they tend to do that when wrestlers get over naturally.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That is the greatest thing they've ever done.

Stunning.

[phonics]

That was awful.

[Smjffy]

That was actually the highlight of the night.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was awful.

You have never been more wrong.

[Smjffy]

WWE's next big move that. Scrap the squared circle, fuck off the fans and just record matches promos like that then release the individual feuds on DVD.

[Browning]

The whole night was shit but Taker/Styles was fantastic as well as shit.

Wanted Glen to rock up but oh well.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Had Michelle been in the tractor pushing the dirt (and Glen involved when Good Brothers came) it would have been the icing on the cake for me.

[Smjffy]

https://cdn3.whatculture.com/images/2017/07/7ec2dff4e8c708f7-600x338.jpg

[SvN]

That boneyard match is seriously one of the best things they've ever done. Absolute peak 80s Steven Segal.

[7om]

Loved that Boneyard match. And it’s probably the way best way to portray Taker as they can take breaks and edit it to death to make him look good.

[Pleb]

Boneyard match :drool: :cool:

[Shindig]

Would keep his career going another 15 years, too.

[SvN]

I now have high hopes for the Funhouse match tonight.

[Smjffy]

Yeah, that's your first mistake right there. :D

[Browning]

I feel similarly until I remember that Wyatt is irredeemably shite.

[Shindig]

Nobody's shite with the WWE editing team on hand. It's like getting the guys who do the promo packages to script and shoot the matches.

[phonics]

These things are awful. Go watch a 3/10 horror movie instead.

[Gray Fox]

The Boneyard match was probably the best thing they could have done. Take all the time and make Undertaker look as badass as possible, yet reduce AJs load while he's injured.

Taker ends looking good and now AJ can take some time off to heal up or get surgery if he needs it.

[Ian]

I genuinely lolled at the boneyard match about four times. Every inch the laughable hammy shitfest I thought it would be and more. Or less, whichever.

It's also not often that you get as many shite finishes as that in one night so WWE have really got off to a good start there. One half of the worst ever Wrestlemania. :drool:

[7om]

These things are awful. Go watch a 3/10 horror movie instead.

Were you about when Taker was stumbling around the ring every Mania? The guy can't handle live event matches anymore. Him and Goldberg almost killed each other at the last Saudi show

This is absolutely how Taker should have matches moving forward. I'd like to see him revert back to full Big Evil and have bar fights, boiler room matches, the lot. Pre tape them and edit them.

[Ian]

No, Taker should just not have matches going forward.

There's plenty of daft straight-to-DVD nonsense if that's what people want.

[phonics]

No, Taker should just not have matches going forward.

Exactly. If you can't trust him to be a Pro-Wrestler, he shouldn't be Pro-Wrestling.

Luchador Underground did this way better several years ago. At least that had The Artist Who Would Be Known As Luchasaurus turn into a dragon and fly off.

[7om]

No, Taker should just not have matches going forward.

There's plenty of daft straight-to-DVD nonsense if that's what people want.

I couldn't disagree more. We saw a match where Karl Anderson got tombstoned on a corrugated roof, Gallows thrown off a building and AJ Styles getting buried alive with his hand sticking out the dirt.

Give me that every single day over a regular match. That was sports entertainment at its finest.

[phonics]

If you saw it every week, you'd think it was shit. Also saying Sports Entertainment...

[7om]

If you saw it every week, you'd think it was shit. Also saying Sports Entertainment...

It's clearly not going to be every week. But you already knew that.

[Ian]

Some "so bad it's hilarious" moments aside I genuinely didn't think it had a redeeming feature.

[Gray Fox]

We know Taker is having 1-4 matches a year for the foreseeable future. This is absolutely the best thing to do with him.

[Disco]

If you saw it every week, you'd think it was shit. Also saying Sports Entertainment...

What WWE does isn't really wrestling so their silly terminology is actually quite fitting.

[SvN]

I'm surprised you didn't enjoy it Ian, you're usually right about wrestling.

[Ian]

I didn't really like the Broken Universe stuff either so just really not my cup of tea I guess. I see from the general reaction on other sites and such that I appear to be very much in the minority on this one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I hated the broken stuff but this was incredible.

[phonics]

What's worse, Corey Graves jacket or Pete Rosenberg not wearing socks?

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/270326079648956433/696481919755485184/Capture.PNG

[7om]

Corey Graves full stop. He's just a twat.

[phonics]

Bet no-one saw Charlotte Flair winning at Wrestlemania.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sucks that Rhea lost but that was a really good match and easily the best Charlotte match I've seen.

[Smjffy]

I don't think I've ever been able to look at Flair the same since I saw her fanny. Or her version of one.

[Browning]

Charlotte was always going to NXT to get them some ratings because AEW hands them their ass every week.

Great match though, about 500 times better than Becky's shitfest last night.

[Queenslander]

So Charlotte is the NXT champion again? :cab:

[phonics]

This would have popped so hard in front of a crowd. What a shame.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/270326079648956433/696512844392300673/unknown.png

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Otis is my boy :cool:

[Smjffy]

I forgot Edge was due for this one. Poor chap.

[Waffdon]

That RKO was the best in a while. Orton is so good

[Waffdon]

Lol at Orton going full Chris Beniot

[phonics]

This Orton/Edge thing going fully backstage should just lean into it and burst into an office with HHH having a Zoom call.

[phonics]

Shawn Michaels entire Wrestlemania career lasted 312 minutes and this match might just beat it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was far too long.

I also hate when the commentary try to be solemn so whisper and barely talk.

[Smjffy]

Jesus. Lockdown felt shorter than that. Nice to see Edge back but it was nothing all too fresh.

lol @ Waff though.

[Gray Fox]

Even so. Edge > The current roster.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is this what it's like on drugs?

[Gray Fox]

This is the best worst thing I've ever seen.

[Smjffy]

:roflol:I don't know if I was supposed to like that or hate it and I still don't.

That was....different.

[Gray Fox]

That was perfect.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think I hated it but I'm not sure, I'm confused.

It was something different and I like that they branched out and tried something though.

[Smjffy]

Vince puppet saying this is some good shit is what sealed it for me, I think.

Drew winning seems a given but it's Lesnar so it'll probably be him.

[SvN]

Absolutely amazing.

[phonics]

That's how you do the filmed stuff. Incredible.

[Browning]

Boneyard > Fun House shit, and it's not close.

Drew being our first ever British champion though :cool:

[Waffdon]

Scottish mate

[Browning]

When he loses it, sure.

[Gray Fox]

Other than the Charlotte win, every result tonight was the right one. And it was a pretty good show considering the circumstances. Well deserved for Drew and Edge is still the GOAT.
Didn't care at all for the tag match as the current tag division is a right state. I do feel it could have gone on earlier though. No need to have a calm down match for a non-existent crowd.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think Mania was pretty damn good all things considered. There was some good matches, they tried some new stuff (I wasn't a fan of Fun House but I appreciate what they were trying) and it had some decent booking.

Obviously would have been better with a crowd but I still enjoyed it which is more than I can say for most PPVs.

[Waffdon]

Wyatt singing Nikki Bellas theme :drool:

[7om]

The fun house match :drool:

That Adam Blampied fantasy booked something remarkably similar to what we got and I loved it.

[Queenslander]

The fun house thing was brilliant!

Edit: Yep not a match.

[Shindig]

The New Jack episode of Dark Side of the Ring was the carniest thing I've ever seen.

[Ian]

The Funhouse match as a "match" is dreadful and I never want to see it's like being given an official winner/loser ever again. The Funhouse match as a Bray Wyatt video package segment thing was very creative and there was a lot I liked about it.

Rhea / Charlotte was very good even if I didn't really want Charlotte to win. I actually thought the other womens match was alright too.

Edge / Orton was pointless without a hot crowd willing Edge on and Jesus H Christ it was boring. About 25 minutes of it was them bopping each others heads into things.

[7om]

I read somewhere today that Edge Orton was the second longest Mania match in history. It had absolutely no right going 36 pissing minutes.

[Ian]

Keith's matches are slow enough these days at the best of times. At the point when Edge jumped off the thing (lol at Keith getting up first from that) it felt like the match had started shortly after Euro 2008.

[Disco]

Wasn't it all prerecorded? 36 minutes is even more lol in that case.

[Ian]

Yeah there was at least one bit where they'd clearly edited stuff together. And not very seamlessly.

It's the WWE "epic" though innit.

[Ian]

Apollo Crews getting a nearly 30 minute match on Raw is a bit of an odd one.

[wullie]

I loved that Firefly Funhouse thing, particularly when the previous Bray Wyatt gimmick stuff had him use an OHP to make worms appear in the ring and the shits stopped him from dressing as Sister Abigail. Big Show winning the title in the post-credits scene after the main event would have been world class.

[Queenslander]

Rhea Ripley's visa expiring makes Flairs win more understandable.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's a real shame that they couldn't have gotten it sorted.

[Queenslander]

Yeah tough situation might be 2 years (worst case) untill she is allowed back.

[Ian]

:cab:

EDIT: I dunno how reliable Wrestlezone are but they're reporting that the reason WWE switched from having Fiend beat Goldberg to Goldberg winning is pretty much down to Goldberg pushing hard for it and Wyatt going with it rather than trying to dig his heels in and seemingly Goldberg's got a beat of heat for this. Not that "backstage heat" will matter a bit if Vince doesn't care.

[Ian]

So.... the Raw main event was a replay of a post-Mania McIntyre / Big Show WWE title dark match. Okay.

Crews and Morgan both got to look good in their matches though so that's good.

[Ian]

At a somewhat eye-watering 48 minutes that Ciampa / Gargano match from last night is something I'm not even going to watch.

[Disco]

1248597343324327936

[Ian]

They're gonna smash it in AEW.

What a waste.

[Disco]

I doubt they will but I'd like them to wait until crowds are back to debut, empty stadium shows are just not cutting it.

[7om]

Terrible waste of talent, but what else is new.

[phonics]

1248654863535308803

[Queenslander]

In a pefect world The Revival would work Japan and Aew.

Also MJF leading a faction with Wardlow and The Revival is easily the best option.

[Queenslander]

Epic heel turn from Rhonda.

[Ian]

She was kinda heel at the end anyway but it wouldn't surprise me if those were just her genuine thoughts.

[Queenslander]

WWE Conor McGregegor

[Gray Fox]

I'm sure I remember a few spots where she was supposed to stand and get a reception from the crowd and got nothing. One particular one where the the beaten down wrestler is supposed to get up slowly in the ring and trudge up the ramp to applause from an appreciative crowd. I'm sure she tried that and they booed her instead.

[Ian]

Yeah the crowds started turning her heel before the writing did is my recollection.

[Shindig]

XFL is done. Again. I wonder how much this hits Vince?

[Gray Fox]

It was all from his own pocket so I could easily see him having lost $100-200m.

It's a shame as it was much improved this time around and was quite fun for what it was.

[Disco]

It's another cracker this evening, regenmeister origin story.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csI2dzm-lqY

[Shindig]

Man, wrestlers should be cars.

[Disco]

Fuck it, it can stay.

[Ian]

Man, wrestlers should be cars.

Please don't let Vince see this.

[Shindig]

It'd just be Monster Jam, right?

[SvN]

https://i.imgur.com/XVJgqOo.jpg

[Mike]

https://i2.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/RAW_03162020CG_2423-072d.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=644%2C428&ssl=1

Maybe the new game will just be Crush Hour 2

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Drake Maverick
Curt Hawkins
Karl Anderson
EC3
Lio Rush
Dave Finlay
Mike Rotunda
Shane Helms
Lance Storm

All gone.

Edit: Gallows too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kurt Angle, Aiden English and Eric Young also gone.

Sarah Logan, Billy Kidman, Pat Buck, Shawn Daivari, Scott Armstrong and Sarah Stock.

Mike Chioda also gone.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1250493936185102339

Fuck :(

[Ian]

:(

Some of those are more surprising than others.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Producers are all furloughed apparently. Nothing on which wrestlers are fired or furloughed (I'd imagine all fired).

[Lewis]

Either he thinks it's real, or that Rockstar Spud video is a work.

[Mike]

‘It’s a work’ was my first thought, for him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://cultaholic.com/posts/update-complete-list-of-wwe-talent-released-today

Epico and Primo, Rowan, Mike and Maria, Zack Ryder and No Way Jose have also gone.

1250515808356188160

[7om]

Spud :(

I wonder how many of them will just get immediately rehired as soon as they go back in front of live audiences. A fair few I’d imagine.

[Gray Fox]

Rusev Day is RUINED.

[Gray Fox]

NXT talent have been told they'll be paid for 30 days and then are free to do whatever they want.

[Disco]

What, all of them?

[Gray Fox]

I'd assume anyone that's about to be on the release list.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's for those released.

Sean Ross made it sound like it was the whole NXT roster.

[phonics]

1250540113299456000

Thats a top promo off getting fired.

[Queenslander]

Karl Anderson and Rusev to AEW please.

[Ian]

I've made no secret that I like Rollins the wrestler a lot but he's once again completely misjudged his response to all this to defend WWE for the sake of doing it. Yeah, people still in the company, on the roster, etc. will feel upset about all this too but giving it the "Hey it's not the time for criticism!" line when WWE are still in a position to turn a profit isn't a great look.

[wullie]

Having No Way Jose fly across the country on a deserted plane because he's an essential worker and then firing him the next day is a cracker

[Shindig]

They all rush into AEW and then that collapses as well.

[Ian]

Having No Way Jose fly across the country on a deserted plane because he's an essential worker and then firing him the next day is a cracker

:face:

[wullie]

Fink nooooooooooooooooooo

https://www.wwe.com/article/howard-finkel-passes-away

[Lewis]

Serves him right for pushing Lilian Garcia into 3-Minute Warning.

[Ian]

Serves him right for pushing Lilian Garcia into 3-Minute Warning.

Are you saying there's a curse around all involved? Because if so Rico must be shitting himself as the lone survivor.

[Lewis]

Eric Bischoff somehow remains relevant, and I've just discovered that she's looking fine in her middle age, so it might just be a general fatness curse.

[Ian]

I've not seen him on NXT yet but "Dexter Lumis" is a proper "you're never doing anything significant" name.

[Queenslander]

Have WWE really hit them all with 90 day no compete?

[Ian]

Most, but not all. Some (or at least the Revival) seem to have got away without it somehow.

But then WWE being scummy is not news.

[Queenslander]

Not at all just stunning cruelty. :(

[Ian]

In most cases I imagine they're not getting hired anytime soon anyway but it's still a colossal dick move. But then the whole thing is when you hear about money potentially getting kicked back to XFL investors and WWE possibly still being set for big profits.

Hopefully when some semblance of normal is restored and WWE goes back to trying to hoover up the talent enough of them are in a position to tell them to fuck off.

[Queenslander]

2 show AEW with a wrestlers union.

[Ian]

I think wrestlers trying to unionise might be something that'll come out of this but I don't know how that would work given the carny, informal nature of the industry.

[Shindig]

"Alright, Spud. You're not booked this week so you and Rusev are on the camera crew. We've got the Revival on commentary duty."

[Queenslander]

:D

[Ian]

Like that episode of Raw where CM Punk was commentating and timekeeping.

[Queenslander]

I missed most of Punks run unfortunetly.

[Ian]

I didn't see any of it at the time but I saw that bit back when doing my run through the Network.

There are some cracking matches you should go back and watch if you've not seen them.

[Queenslander]

I will. It is one title run that always slips the memory.

[wullie]

The Revival will be known as The Revolt, Dax and Cash. I'm a big Dash Wilder fan in particular after seeing the Edge doc and especially when he lamped the guy who tackled Bret Hart last year

[Ian]

As well as the most famous one, the MITB match for the world title, he and Cena also had an excellent match on Raw. He also had some good matches against Bryan, Hardy, Jericho and I think the Lesnar and Undertaker ones were good too.

You'll find plenty of lists.

EDIT: NJPW saying they'll pay everybody they employ full wage and all their benefits. :cool:

Also Killer Kross is now "Karrion Kross." Who comes up with this shit?

[Queenslander]

As well as the most famous one, the MITB match for the world title, he and Cena also had an excellent match on Raw. He also had some good matches against Bryan, Hardy, Jericho and I think the Lesnar and Undertaker ones were good too.

You'll find plenty of lists.

Solid list of opponents Bryan and Jericho are brilliant.

[Queenslander]

NJPW are the Kings of pro wrestling.

[Disco]

As well as the most famous one, the MITB match for the world title, he and Cena also had an excellent match on Raw. He also had some good matches against Bryan, Hardy, Jericho and I think the Lesnar and Undertaker ones were good too.

You'll find plenty of lists.

EDIT: NJPW saying they'll pay everybody they employ full wage and all their benefits. :cool:

Also Killer Kross is now "Karrion Kross." Who comes up with this shit?

The same day Vince was firing a load of his staff (and the same week everyone was reminded how he kind of covered up a murder) the japanese companies all went to a meeting with government representatives and said everyone would be paid, asked only for support for those currently out of work and people like Tanahashi and Marufuji (let's say the japgrap equivalent of Undertaker and Cena) said wrestling should be the last sport to restart.

Queenslander did you see this:

1250868669044973573

[Queenslander]

The same day Vince was firing a load of his staff (and the same week everyone was reminded how he kind of covered up a murder) the japanese companies all went to a meeting with government representatives and said everyone would be paid, asked only for support for those currently out of work and people like Tanahashi and Marufuji (let's say the japgrap equivalent of Undertaker and Cena) said wrestling should be the last sport to restart.

Queenslander did you see this:

1250868669044973573

Yeah it is great! :drool:


I wanted that for him in AEW but NJPW obviosly makes the most sense. He will have to kick someone out surely?

[Ian]

I've decided I'm going to think of it as Carry On Kross! rather than Karrion.


and the same week everyone was reminded how he kind of covered up a murder

This the Snuka episode of Dark Side of the Ring? I've not seen it but it sounds like he was a fucking weird character.

I'm also only half-joking when I say I think this whole thing has some bearing on the continued existence of Tamina as a thing on the WWE roster.

[Shindig]

The police offer does not come out of it looking great.

[Ian]

Is that the one they were dealing with when Snuka kept changing his version of events?

[Shindig]

Yep. And when he's confronted about Fatu saying he was in the car with them, he just bats it off.

[Browning]

Punk’s reign slipping the memory is exactly what WWE were going for when Cena main evented 6 of the first 8 PPVs after Punk won the belt to Punk’s 0. Big match John vs throat infection John was clearly more important.

[Ian]

I mean even with just the details I'd seen before this doc came out it always sounded like he'd pretty much done it and the police had, through incompetence or otherwise, just failed to prove it.

[Shindig]

The sister's account of the Vince trying to pay the family off is awful as well.

[phonics]

Money in the Bank will be at the performance center. Instead of climbing a ladder, they will be climbing the entire performance center and picking the briefcase off the roof...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

WWE HQ in Stamford actually.

[Gray Fox]

Does this mean Triple H wins by default?

[Ian]

That sounds awful.

Also I hope Boatman enjoys his month of being a world champ.

[Queenslander]

https://youtu.be/2EG6_tRdCZY

[Queenslander]

Is Romain Reigns gonna leave the WWE?

[Ian]

I doubt it, why?

They've been pretty good to him as these things go.

[Browning]

Them banning his name is very weird.

[Ian]

Have they been mentioning others by name who've had to drop out because of the virus?

I imagine it's just some weird notion they've taken to make his comeback, whenever that may be, seem more hyped. Or they've realised that them happily allowing him there in the first place during all this isn't a good look.

[Ian]

https://bleedingcool.com/tv/wwe-pays-stock-dividend-that-could-fund-laid-off-workers-to-2021/

Oh dear.

[Disco]

They cut their wage bill now not because it saved them lots of money (minimal in comparison to the other savings they announced) but because the only reason for them to hold onto all those wrestlers went away. No other promotions are running proper shows, there are no indies for them to go to so letting them go has no downside (assuming you're a carnie fuck who doesn't give a shit about your employees).

[Ian]

However if they thought there was any value in it at all then those staff they were stockpiling will just go to indies as soon as things stars back up.

And their main concern, AEW, aren;t running out of money any time soon unless Tony Khan gets bored.

As always though, trying to apply logic to Vince.

[Ian]

Some good stuff on NXT this week. I assume that Dream / O'Shango match next week is going to an iffy finish given they're both currently being built towards different opponents. If it was main roster it'd be nailed on for some combination of Imperium / UE interference to set up a TAG TEAM MATCH PLAYA.

All the matches that got any time were decent though, and while Dexter Lumis has a silly name / look and possibly gimmick he has a swish titantron and if his finish is going to be that sit-out slam thing straight into Anaconda Vice then I approve.

Bryan / Cesaro on Smackdown was really good as well. The Tag Title match was a decent triple threat if a total WWE triple threat cookie-cutter match but I don't really approve of tag titles being won in singles competition. Though as soon as Cole mentioned them being two reigns away from beating the Dudleys record I understood the score so I assume New Day will have another couple of reigns before the year is out.

[wullie]

The MITB match scaling an entire building sounds amazing, it's like the coronavirus has turned wrestling into Dungeon of Doom WCW.

[Shindig]

Does that mean someone's falling off the roof and then no-selling it?

[Disco]

Worked for the Big Show.

[7om]

https://youtu.be/9LDFi88Q30c

Stumbled across this instant classic on YouTube. The promo :drool:

[Ian]

Kairi Sane: "Yeah I don't want to sign a new contract."

WWE: "Oh yeah? Well now this is happening."

https://cdn3.whatculture.com/images/2020/04/13ac9381231b08cf-600x338.gif

[Shindig]

Oof. She keeps killing people.

[Browning]

Please just let Ronda knock her the fuck out. She's genuinely going to kill someone if she keeps going.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How her and Tamina are still in the business is baffling.

Family ties shouldn't count for that much.

[Browning]

Especially when the family tie is a murderer.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The Rock is a murderer?

Edit: Snuka in regards to Tamina, yeah.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

At a somewhat eye-watering 48 minutes that Ciampa / Gargano match from last night is something I'm not even going to watch.

I just finished watching it.

It was alright but not a patch on any of their other matches.

It was better than Edge/Orton as they were more verbal and their reasons for wanting to beat the shit out of each other came across more because of that but it was still way too long and massively self-indulgent.

[Ian]

I got tired of that feud before a lot of people I think, when Gargano was Big Show his alignments in ways that didn't make a shitload of sense.

[Disco]

It was killed stone dead the second they went to the main roster.

[7om]

Tonight’s YouTube offering is this classic Cornette story

https://youtu.be/g8UrCbTY-jM

[Ian]

Who was it said they thought the Drake Maverick thing was work?

WWE used the video on NXT last night apparently. Which would be weird to highlight something they're getting so much heat for.

And if they are letting somebody use the thing as a work when others have been legit given the boot that's in very poor taste.

[Lewis]

Rockstar SCUM. Alternatively, he was bealing for real, and Vince McMahon was so disgusted by it (which he would have been) he's using it to ruin his career.

[Ian]

As if Vince even knows Drake Maverick exists.

[Disco]

But he is absolutely tone deaf enough not to realise that the video he's using makes his own company look like dicks.

[Ian]

I've not watched NXT yet but the commentators were apparently leaning into it as well during his match.

It's actually kinda reprehensible whether it's a word or not.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.ringsidenews.com/2020/04/24/velveteen-dream-accused-of-sending-explicit-photos-to-underage-girls/

Either Velveteen is a peado (fuck), he was hacked or someone has produced a fake screenshot.

Right now, it doesn't look good for Velveteen.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1253756911431954432

It's looking like option 1.

[Smjffy]

1253756911431954432

It's looking like option 1.

At least the 'teen' part makes sense.

[Ian]

:uhoh:

[Lewis]

1253738904773185538
1253739774013255681

How did they lose the Monday Night Wars when they had the miles better restaurant?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1253773494619439105

So he's admitting that the picture is of him but that he did not send it.

I really hope it was a hacker as I think he's a great talent and it would be really shit if he's actually a paedo.

[Queenslander]

At least the 'teen' part makes sense.


1253738904773185538
1253739774013255681

How did they lose the Monday Night Wars when they had the miles better restaurant?

Nature Boy getting soups and salads is pretty lame.

[Queenslander]

Former Bronco Daniel Vidot is facing Sheamus on Smackdown. :cab:

[Ian]

Not for very long by the sounds of it.

[Queenslander]

He was a very good winger in League what an idiot.

[Ian]

Zelina Vega's Handsome Mexicans (and Austin Theory) can't have won much since they formed. Even by their own very low bar Raw sounds like a mess last night. 25 minutes of six man tag match where both teams really needed to not lose, Morgan squashing Riott, Tozawa (in a tournament on NXT, lest we forget) getting murdered by Jinder and Apollo Crews losing to Andrade (fair enough in itself) by an injury stoppage? When you've spent a few weeks making him look like a real boy again? Lame.

EDIT: Oh and it's taken Crews out of MITB altogether. Lol.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Morgan squashing Riott isn't that weird as they've been pushing her quite hard since they took her out of the Lana/Rusev/Lashley love square. I also think Riott has lost every match since coming back.

[Ian]

That little list of things was things I thought that were shit, not necessarily that they were weird. I'm not surprised at all that Riott is getting the shaft, she just deserves better.

[Disco]

Raw must be godawful at the moment, Dynamite is being saved by Jericho on comms, the man can do nothing wrong.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I haven't watched it in ages but Csonka's reviews on 411 have been quite positive since the empty arenas although this week was the first stinker.

SD has been worse according to him.

[Ian]

Raw has adapted better than I expected and on balance it probably hasn't been significantly better or worse than it was before. It's had some good examples of why the wrestlers should be getting more freedom but made some even dafter decisions to try and work around the circumstances when it'd be much easier to just have more wrestling.

[Gray Fox]

Plumpy booking Roman should be fun.

[Disco]

'Don't make him constantly say dumb shit on telly.'

There, I did it for you.

[Ian]

'Don't make him constantly say dumb shit on telly.'

That was the first point.

Second point was don't tease people to the edge of Daniel Bryan-induced climax and then not see it through.

[Gray Fox]

They're running both mens and womens MiTB matches at the same time. It just sounds like a headache to watch.

[Queenslander]

https://youtu.be/fytKOmFIN-s

[Queenslander]

Best of the Super Juniors has been cancelled. :(

[Ian]

Who needs that shit when you've got Baron Corbin Die Hard-ing it off a building to look forward to?

[Queenslander]

Who needs that shit when you've got Baron Corbin Die Hard-ing it off a building to look forward to?

I wonder how close to fire fly fun house MIB will be? Having the sheilas and the blokes going on at the same time sounds interesting.

[Ian]

I reckon it'll be closed to Boneyard than Funhouse in as much as it'll be dumb action movie stuff.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

AJ Styles to be buried under the building only to come back a few weeks later because ratings are dying.

Let it happen, Vince.

[phonics]

He was on RAW on Monday.

Thought this part of Brandon Strouds write-up was funny.


I just wanted, you know, for something to matter. Styles being totally fine and unchanged here means even a cinematic match at the biggest show of the year starring the most legendary character in the company and ending in multiple homicides doesn’t mean anything and has no consequences. He doesn’t even feel BAD about it. He brushes off HIS ON-SCREEN DEATH with “that was then, this is now!” For fuck’s sake. He also didn’t lose the Boneyard Match at all, because, “there’s no rules in a boneyard match!” “I got buried, so what!” “That doesn’t mean I lost, that doesn’t mean I lost anything!” Cool, I’ll remember not to give a shit next time you have a match.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He was on RAW on Monday.

I know, that was a jab at the whole thing.

They brought him back a lot earlier than they wanted because of bad ratings...

[Disco]

This is the perfect example of why WWE is shit, the more attention you pay the less it makes sense.

[Lewis]

My friend had an idea once to write an official rasslin' law textbook using pay per view only precedent. He should have crowdfunded it when he had the chance.

[Disco]

I reckon he'd have gone maybe three or four shows before ending up with far too many contradictions.

[Shindig]

I don't even know what a changed AJ Styles would be at this point. Back in TNA, he grew a beard. Where does he go from that?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He wears a hat.

It worked for Wesley Snipes.

[Shindig]

I mean, he could denounce Jesus. That would make some buried alive sense. Then he gets his Jesus back in like, a ladder match or something.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Who is wearing a hat in that scenario though? Right now it sounds light on hats.

[Shindig]

Jesus.

[Queenslander]

The python spot on Dynamite was stupid tacky nonsense.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I liked the MITB match a lot and Drew/Rollins was very good too.

Not too keen on the rest, especially Bray/Boatman which I thought was shit.

[wullie]

The first episode of the Undertaker thing is quite good. While it promises to show you more of him than ever before I could have done without the brief graphic glimpses of his hip surgery, fucking hell.

[Ian]

The Rollins / Drew match was very good and I'm genuinely interested to see how the end will play into whatever they do with Rollins next. And it's a shame he has no crowds to play to because McIntyre is doing a great job.

I fucking hated the MITB match but once again reviews would suggest I'm very much in the minority and I genuinely don't understand how.

[Browning]

I wouldn't say I hated it, it wasn't boring by any stretch, but people acting like it was the greatest thing ever are deluded. There was next to no wrestling on offer, just comedy which ranged from decent-ish (Bryan and AJ in the office) to utter shite (most of the cameos).

Stephanie not even bothering to turn up to film at the same time as Dana was the low point.

[Ian]

Bryan and AJ bricking it because it was Vince's office was the only bit of humour that landed at all with me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think with all of these (Boneyard, Firefly wankathon and this) they're going to be quite polarising.

Boneyard and MITB were hits for me, Firefly was nonsense.

[Gray Fox]

Sounds like Becky is up the duff.

Asuka to cash in immediately?

[Browning]

Good job they didn't just bury someone who tapped out the entire rest of the division in seconds....

Oh...

[Shindig]

Nia Jax. Punch to the womb. Book it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdQ90mb0mWs

She let some useless tosser blow his beans up her muff.

Becky is officially up the duff and Asuka is the new champion.