The Ultimate WWE Thread

[Disco]

Even David A-Force Otunga is bemused by this.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He probably has a scare every few weeks.

98 next month which is about 200 in non-wrestler years.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Also, he either has a problem with his neck or he fucking loathes Bradshaw.

I don't think he's looked at him once, even when JBL has asked him direct questions.

[Dan]

Didn't Otunga separate from his wife, who accused him of abuse or something? Seem to remember there's a big custody thing going - at least he can represent himself though, I guess.

[Browning]

I'm only going to get through the WWE Title match before I have to go to bed. It better not be shit.

[Dan]

They have a GERMAN announce table now? :cab: Is that really the second most necessary non-English language for dedicated commentary teams?

[Browning]

Of course, wrestling is massive in Germany, that's why they've produced so many stars like Katie Lea Burchill and.... err...... Heidenreich?

[Dan]

So, they didn't tag there.

[Dan]

Of course, wrestling is massive in Germany, that's why they've produced so many stars like Katie Lea Burchill and.... err...... Heidenreich?

Tim Wiese. Aleister Black is German, to be fair.

[Disco]

So the heel team got screwed there. Was that meant to happen?

[Dan]

Now they can bitch & moan for a few weeks before they inevitably turn on each other again in time for WM.

[Dan]

I forgot Benjamin & Gable were a team. 2 out of 3 falls tag match sounds delightful.

First impressions of heel Uso's are good too.

[Dan]

How the fuck have Jason Jordan & Seth Rollins become a team? :D

[Browning]

Ambrose got injured and Angle just went "You know who would be a good partner..... my son!"

[Gray Fox]

I was only half watching Styles v KO/Zayn. Was the ending a botch or a work?

[Dan]

I forgot Benjamin & Gable were a team. 2 out of 3 falls tag match sounds delightful.

First impressions of heel Uso's are good too.

Nevermind, that was a letdown. 2-0 is a surprise, but one I'm fine with. It's just a shame it was the third consecutive limp ending & second consecutive roll-up.

[SvN]

Rumble already. I might go to bed after this.

[Dan]

Ambrose got injured and Angle just went "You know who would be a good partner..... my son!"

Yeah, that sounds about right :D


I was only half watching Styles v KO/Zayn. Was the ending a botch or a work?

They had a skit afterwards so I'm assuming it was planned.

What the fuck is the men's rumble doing on this early? Awful, awful booking so far.

[Gray Fox]

Please tell me this is not the mens Rumble already?

[SvN]

Yep, must not have much confidence in it being any good.

[Dan]

These 'Rumble by Numbers' things are the equivalent of the 'NFL for Newbies' videos the BBC always roll out on SuperBowl night - probably kinda interesting for 2% of the audience & a massive irritation for everyone else.

[Gray Fox]

Well if it's going to be before the title match, then surely that counts out Lesnar, Strowman and Kane from being in it.

Odds of a Reigns win just went up...

[Dan]

Does this mean the womens' match is the main/co-main event?

[Dan]

Well if it's going to be before the title match, then surely that counts out Lesnar, Strowman and Kane from being in it.

Odds of a Reigns win just went up...

Is that even possible?

I forgot Aiden English was even employed :D Is he literally just Ricardo Rodriguez now?

[Gray Fox]

I just can't help but feel this is going to be shit or full of shenanigans to be on this early.

[Dan]

Speaking of people I didn't know were still employed, here's Rhyno.

[Dan]

I love how Heath Slater can be wiped out by one clothesline.

Elias feels like a rejected Damien Sandow gimmick.

[Gray Fox]

Heath to be the Curtis Axel of this year. #HeWasNeverEliminated

[SvN]

I hope they keep Slater out there for the entire rumble, just to get battered by every entrant on their way to the ring.

[Dan]

I love Heath Slater. He's not even entered the ring & he's the best part of the whole show so far.

[Dan]

Oh shit :D :alan: :hail:

I'd have watched the whole show for that moment.

[Browning]

Decided to watch it, fuck it.

What have I missed?

[Dan]

Heath Slater getting kicked about on the outside for half an hour then eliminating Sheamus in one second as soon as he got in the ring. Other than that, nothing if you just caught the traditional Kofi spot.

[Browning]

Hurricane :drool:

[Dan]

21 spots but we finally get someone good (for about eight seconds).

[Gray Fox]

Please not Cena or Reigns...

[Browning]

Did they put it on early so they could get away with Reigns?

[Dan]

Why don't they put more surprises in? They're always the best bits :drool:

[Browning]

I would mark out all night if Rey won this.

[Dan]

Did they put it on early so they could get away with Reigns?


Please not Cena or Reigns...

I'm sorry :console:

[Browning]

Fucking Ziggler :D

Over to you ladies, this is a nice low bar.

[Dan]

So Dolph is our only hope now, right?

EDIT: Nope.

[Dan]

Fucking Ziggler :D

Over to you ladies, this is a nice low bar.

It's managed to underwhelm even with me already expecting to be disappointed.

[Queenslander]

Balor for the win!

[Browning]

We're down to the 3 I told you were the only ones with a chance, plus Balor. Colour me shocked.

[Browning]

What were they chanting at Cena and Reigns?

[Dan]

"You both suck", I think.

Nakamura has to win now, surely? They've got to be aware that the other two would get booed out the building, especially if they're the final two. Then again, that's never stopped them before.

[Dan]

Does Nakamura just permanently have a bleeding mouth? I'm pretty sure he's ending up with red teeth every time I've seen him.

[Queenslander]

He wheres a mouth guard.

[Gray Fox]

Yes!

[Queenslander]

Smart booking.

[Browning]

It'll be Nakamura to set up the dream match with Styles. Reigns will get to Mania some other way.

Edit- Unless they're going with Don Cena wins the 17th title, which would be :drool:

Called it..... So obvious for months.

[SvN]

Not as many as surprises as I'd have liked, but that was pretty good. Miles better than last year.

[Browning]

Nakamura will regret that big time if Kane wins.

[Dan]

He wheres a mouth guard.

That would explain it.


"You both suck", I think.

Nakamura has to win now, surely? They've got to be aware that the other two would get booed out the building, especially if they're the final two. Then again, that's never stopped them before.

I'm amazed they actually realised they could have someone other than Roman Reigns win.

Nakamura v Styles at Mania :drool:

[Gray Fox]

I'm not going to lie. I marked the fuck out.

[SvN]

Jesus Christ Steph is rolling back the years.

[Queenslander]

Time to rewatch their Wrestle Kingdom match.

[Browning]

Kurt needs to get his balls out of her purse though.

[Dan]

Called it..... So obvious for months.

Browning :cool:

It was definitely the sensible decision, but that's that shock - it's hard to believe that WWE would actually realise they could make the Reigns/Lesnar re-re-re-rematch without having to go through the Rumble, and could instead use it to promote someone that wasn't Reigns or an Attitude Era guy.

What the fuck is this KFC Rumble shit? :D

[Dan]

Time to rewatch their Wrestle Kingdom match.

I hope you're not getting your hopes up. The WWE version will be half as good, even at Mania.

[Dan]

And now, WWE proves they're a multinational company for eight minutes!

[Queenslander]

Nah Im not at all. I am hoping they free Nakamura up a little bit though considering it is Mania. Creative have limited his moveset way too much.

[Queenslander]

Jay White v Omega from last night is worth a watch and the Bullet Club drama after.

[Dan]

That was garbage.

[Browning]

I barely watched it. I couldn't give a shit about tag teams in WWE these days, Usos included. "Day Oneish" or whatever it is makes no sense, so that's all I need to know.

They're going to have Stephanie win the women's rumble, aren't they?

[Dan]

So, what I got from that video is that Brawn Strongman tried to commit actual murder on a load of guys?

He must be a face.

[Browning]

Is Strowman "one of the baddest men in WWE history" because he pushed over an ambulance one time?

Fuck knows what Brock has done to enter that equation too.

[Dan]

Is Strowman "one of the baddest men in WWE history" because he pushed over an ambulance one time?

Fuck knows what Brock has done to enter that equation too.

Taken loads of steroids & won a UFC title.

[Browning]

Steel chair already? What a bad man!

[Dan]

The fact that nobody can get DQ'd might drag this match up from shit to kinda okay.

Nevermind, they're all gassed & we're on to sloppy finishers already. I'll be surprised if this goes another 10mins.

[Browning]

Finlay will tell you it wouldn't be unlike WWE to randomly chuck a DQ into a match that has no business having them on a Rumble PPV.

[Browning]

Strowman might be the worst tactician in the history of wrestling. Right at the start he knocks both men for 6, but then chucks them out the ring for no reason, and then he decides to just keep hitting finishers on Lesnar until Kane gets back in.

[Dan]

Nobody has any kind of tactical acumen in wrestling, especially WWE. The Rumble is always proof of that, as guys randomly decide to stop people from eliminating other guys for no reason when they could just help dump them out instead.

This has been a shit PPV so far.

[Browning]

Nobody has any kind of tactical acumen in wrestling, especially WWE. The Rumble is always proof of that, as guys randomly decide to stop people from eliminating other guys for no reason when they could just help dump them out instead.

This has been a shit PPV so far.

Indeed. That Universal Title match was fucking shit.

[Dan]

Remember when WWE used to use bands like Limp Bizkit & Saliva for their themes? Now it's Little Mix :D

[Browning]

Little Mix is a significant improvement on most of the cunts we get. What the hell is a Flo Rida?

[Dan]

Natty to start?

Already off to a great start by having the announcer introduce a special guest announcer who then introduces Stephanie. I guess they had to give Maria Menounos a job somewhere. Shame she's awful at ring announcing.

[Dan]

God, I hate this already. It couldn't just be treated like a normal match, they had to drag all their buddies out to get special parts in it.

Maria Menounos' voice is awful for ring announcing. Get JoJo back out there for the rest of the match, please. Great to hear Stephanie providing great insight such as "Oh, look out!" and "OH, OH!" too.

[Queenslander]

Slow motion reply of Brock's right hand to Braun is bloody stupid.

[Browning]

Business just picked up :drool:

[Dan]

Womens Revolution Rumble, featuring Corey Graves making misogynistic comments about the competitors, because we're better than the bra & panties match days.

Lita :drool:

[Browning]

This is already better than the blokes.

[Dan]

Give me Kairi Sane v Asuka please :drool:

[SvN]

Was anyone paying attention to Sasha's kicks in the corner just then? Genuinely the worst few seconds of wrestling I've ever seen in my life. I'm sure they'll be a gif somewhere at some point.

[Dan]

Tamina looks to have spent her time off working on a food blog.

[SvN]

Torrie looks younger than she did 15 years ago :drool:

[Browning]

Tamina looks to have spent her time off working on a food blog.

Genuinely thought it was Nia Jax :D

[Dan]

Torrie still looks amazing, and still can't really wrestle that well. I look forward to seeing how terrible Stacy Keibler is when she inevitably shows up, and I look forward even more to not giving a shit.

[Dan]

Genuinely thought it was Nia Jax :D

They're basically the same person, to be fair.

[SvN]

Liv Morgan looks like someone doing Alexa Bliss fancy dress.

[Dan]

Was anyone paying attention to Sasha's kicks in the corner just then? Genuinely the worst few seconds of wrestling I've ever seen in my life. I'm sure they'll be a gif somewhere at some point.

The women have never been able to deliver convincing kicks to grounded opponents.

Molly should've come back as Mighty Molly, considering we had The Hurricane earlier.

[Dan]

This is exactly what a Rumble match is supposed to be.

[Dan]

OH MY FUCKING GOD :D :D :D :D

This is the best Rumble of all time.

[Browning]

Called Beth as soon as they said no one could stop Nia..... hate stuff like that.

[Dan]

Hey look, it's female Kofi Kingston. Now we can look forward to eight years of Naomi gimmick spots too!

[Browning]

Way too much shit with people staying outside the ring. Sasha must have been out there for 40% of the time she's been active.

[Dan]

I can't wait for Stacy Keibler to come in at 29 & eliminate Asuka to the confusion of every person ever.

[Dan]

Had to get both the Bellas in, I suppose. Trish & Ronda last two, or have we missed someone obvious?

Yep, it was Bayley, the person I was rooting for :rosebud:

[SvN]

Genuinely relieved that Trish got the 30 spot instead of Rousey. This has been great, I can forgive the sloppy ring work.

[Browning]

Thank fuck Sasha didn't win this.

[Dan]

They got the mix of current & former talent right in this - the Rumble is meant to have nods to the past, whether that's former champions or cult gimmicks.

The male Rumble seems to have just turned into a load of midcarders who have nothing else to do, plus five guys who might actually win & whatever comedy guys they have on the books. Only having The Hurricane was pretty rubbish this year, but I feel like there's probably been a few like that over the last five years.

[Dan]

I bet the Bellas are well happy to be back in the ring to take kicks from Asuka.

[Browning]

It was always going to be Girlberg who won it, but if Nikki pulled it off I'd laugh all night.

[Dan]

The seethe when Nikki wins this :D

[SvN]

Japan is the real winner tonight.

[Browning]

What the actual fuck :drool:

[Dan]

Oh, here we go...

[Dan]

Are we really going to build Asuka up for all this time just to feed her to Ronda fucking Rousey? That would be such a WWE thing to do.

[Dan]

Well, all things considered that was about what I expected. The lady Rumble was the best match of the night, and an example of the formula the man Rumble needs to go back to, but everything else was standard WWE fare, complete with iffy booking decisions & underwhelming finishes.

Heath Slater donning Sheamus was the mark out moment of the night for me though,

[wullie]

Good show overall, the tag matches being a bit too filler but everything else was fine. The running order was odd but made sense with the finish, I'd like to see the KFC Rumble go last as is tradition. If they've got Rey Mysterio in the same week they've let Enzo Amore go 205 Live just improved 400000000%.

[phonics]

Is John Cena's only move in a rumble to fail to do his finisher? He must have had people on his shoulders slide off about 35 times in that match.

[SvN]

This is the thing I was on about
957816255309864960

[Browning]

Up there with the Steiner clip in TNA.

[Lewis]

Japan is the real winner tonight.

If they get a major pay per view before us... Then again, they would go overboard on the Japan theme and it would turn out racist, so it might be alright.

[Lewis]

I bet Piper's jacket had all sorts of shit in the pockets. Mad cunt.

[Pleb]

There would of been a riot in Philly if Boo Reigns would of won the Men's Rumble if I'm honest.

Nakamura-Styles will probably be a bit shit considering their Japanese match was pretty good apparently (I've never seen it).

[Ian]

WWE title match had a less bullshit ending than I expected so that was a bonus. Smackdown tag match had a bizarre ending, I'm not sure what they were going for at all with the Raw one and the Universal title match was, surprise, surprise, a load of absolute shit. Lesnar's wrestled about five meaningful matches in this title reign and the only one that was worth a damn was the one where AJ dragged a good match out of him.

I did like both Rumbles though. neither are classics but they're better than any Rumble match we've had in..... however long. At least a few years. We're still going to have a Lesnar match as the Mania main event but it'll be worth it if we're rid of him for a bit.

Some of the comments in here were a bit peculiar, reading through it. In terms of moaning about things that have scarcely changed in WWE for, at a rough estimate, about a quarter of a century.

I couldn't give the tiniest of solitary shits about Rousey.

[Ian]

Never mind all that though, the BIG news is that Booker is getting replaced by Coach.

[Pleb]

Thank fuck for that.

Might have to give an episode of RAW a go, I can't stand Booker on Comms I feel he's a bit bland.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Watching it now.

Usos match :drool:

The work for the first pinfall was great.

I love how Jimmy and Jey Uso work together.

[Ian]

The Usos are good but you loved / are loving that match?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rhyno looks like he eats a couple of cakes every single hour.

He's fucking massive.

Edit: What a stupid fucking decision to have Corbin take everyone out. A nice 2 minute break in the Royal Rumble is always fucking needed.

And now Elias walking in with his guitar? This might be the worst start ever.

lol at Sheamus, from Rumble winner to Santino Marella.

Kofi :cool:

The fucking Hurricane? :drool:

The 'You both suck' chant :drool: Fuck the company men.

The more I see of Reigns, the more I understand why people hate him. Has he ever done a move that wasn't a superman punch, spear or samoan drop?

Wanted Balor or Nakamura to win so I'm happy with the result.

Edit: What a shit second tag that was, what was the fucking point? Jason Jordan is shit.

I fucking love Kairi Sane, this Rumble is great if only because it introduced her to me.

Stephanie should have slapped Corey, so strange having him basically being Jerry Lawler during the Attitude Era. Surprised he was talking about puppies.

Kelly Kelly :D One of the hottest but the very worst. That hurricanrana attempt was proper lol.

Becky Lynch really should have been final 4.

Nia Jax might have bigger thighs than fucking Viscera.

That Naomi save was seen a fucking mile off. Copying Kofi with the chair, ugh.

They should have done more with Asuka and Ember Moon. The short face off they had was really good.

[Browning]

I'm genuinely shocked at the praise the men's rumble is getting. "Best rumble of the decade...." "4 and a half stars!".... etc etc

It was an improvement on the last couple of years, but it was still pretty shit. The winner we all wanted actually winning doesn't make it an epic match. The Women were much better.

[Ian]

I didn't know it was getting praise as high (outside one WhatCulture headline that described it as the best ever, which I didn't even bother reading) as that and that reeks of overexcitement but I would disagree that it was "shit", but then I neither know what the last WWE thing was that you didn't think was shit or why you even bother. But I'm sure we've had this conversation before.

I thought the two last night were at about the same level, albeit they failed and succeeded in different ways. And not all of the failings of the womens one were the fault of anybody in the match.

[Browning]

A Rumble should have a good number of surprises and nostalgia. 8 seconds of The Hurricane and a fairly brief cameo from Rey Mysterio just doesn't cut it for me. Also it's becoming very formulaic. Whenever anyone survives any kind of scare (and I don't just mean Kofi.... though he is one example) they tend to be thrown out with no effort mere seconds later making the whole thing pointless, and you always have the "CAN ANYBODY STOP PERSON X!" moment before the big guy/girl comes in. As I said, it was an improvement, but it certainly wasn't worth writing home about. If the previous 2-3 hadn't been so bad, I can't imagine people would care for it.

The Women probably had too many surprises if anything, but that's because the roster is so thin. They were enjoyable though and other than Michelle they didn't really take away from the current talent. I would have preferred someone with half a chance of winning (e.g. Sasha or Bayley) in the final 2 rather than Nikki Bella.... but that's a fairly minor gripe when the men's match came down to the only 3 men I said had a prayer of winning it right from the start (two of which would have been total bullshit). I don't know, it was enjoyable enough, but I don't think it was particularly good. That I woke up half way through and the biggest thing I missed was Heath Slater sums it up.

[Weaver]

I’ve watched NXT and The Rumble over the last two days managing to avoid spoilers by keeping off Twitter during the day, and I really enjoyed NXT but the Rumble felt all over the place.

Not sure if it was the order of the matches, or something else, but the Men’s Rumble just felt unimportant.

I did enjoy Cena, Orton and Mysterio clubbing together against Nakamura, Balor and I think Reigns, as well as Slater’s bit and the return of Mysterio (does this mean Hunico isn’t going to be the next big Mexican star?)

Considering there was only 18 or so men announced before the match, there wasn’t enough random entries for nostalgia, which is always one of the key factors for me.

I also noticed Braun Strowman accidentally knee-ing Brock Lesnar in the head and Lesnar’s legit punch back - good going on Strowman for hanging in there.

Wonder where Ronda Rousey is headed, then? Bit odd of her not laying someone out if her opponent was in the ring with her last night, is all.

[Lewis]

lol I've just seen that knee/punch bit. Legend.

[Disco]

What a Rumble, they were both great. They had their iffy spots, neither Heath Slater or Goldust won for a start, and there was definitely a point at which they brought Cena out and it became clear that THIS IS THE END OF THE FUN PART PLEASE PAY ATTENTION. Oh, and fuck off with your pancakes. The womens one had some dodgy cameos most of whom looked really out of place, plus I refuse to believe that this is the natural reaction of any credible human being to the arrival of Michelle McCool

https://i.imgur.com/igzigpg.jpg

Still, it was more than made up for by the superb trolling of the crowd in the mens Rumble. Giving them Nakamura / Balor then teasing Reigns or Cena, top work Vinny. Pleased to hear the reactions for Almas and Adam Cole and properly popped for Rey and, biggest surprise of the night, Vicki fucking Guerrero :D Lita gets the annual Road Dogg Rumble Award (given to the wrestler who can still go for five minutes but you know everyone would be bored of inside a week).

Other things of note:
Asuka is better than almost everyone else in the company and she should teach every other woman on the roster how to kick people properly
Rusev is great and more over than pretty much anyone else
Baron Corbin is irredeemably bad


The three way match was pretty turd, totally pointless too because we all knew exactly who was going to win and how. The end was greeted with what seemed like complete silence and indifference from the crowd, they appeared not to be watching and who can blame them. I'm not sure how I feel about Straw Boatman and his weird trousers. On the one hand he's a giant red lump of a man who is great at being angry and throwing stuff about and I can absolutely get behind that. But the man should never be allowed to speak, in the video package I heard him actually say I am the only alpha monster! I mean good grief that's bad. Just be an angry fight-man who fights a man then wants to fight another man, it's not rocket science lads.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Doesn't deserve an edit, it deserves a new fucking post.

Vickie fucking Guerrero? What in the actual fuck were they thinking?

A voice that could awaken the dead.

[Shindig]

"EXCYAUUUSE MEH!" Lights out <BONG>

I'm giving you gold, Vince.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The Usos are good but you loved / are loving that match?

The second pinfall was shit (they seem to have a massive hard on for surprise roll up pins lately) but yeah, I liked it a lot. I haven't seen much of The Usos though (second or third match I think) so they're new to me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Also glad that they gave Asuka the win and didn't have Rousey in it (they were probably scared she'd fuck it up but Sasha and her kicks did a good job of that). she's going to be so fucking bad though.

Enjoyed the female rumble more as I prefer more 'shock' entrants, especially when the male one is filled with jobbers and Baron fucking Corbin. The start of the men's Rumble was also really strange. Corbin going mental, then Elias being a shit Rock (Sacremento wont be topped) leaving us without any action for 5 minutes.

I did hate that the women's rumble had so many people rolling out, Sasha spent most of it outside and a few times I had a 'Did X get eliminated/Wasn't she eliminated' moment. Carmella and Nia 'Viscera Thighs' Jax did that a couple of times.

[Pleb]

I was hoping for Awesome Kong :sherlock:

[Browning]

Edit- Actually, the first part of that wasn't how I remembered it, so scratch that.

She is, however, probably busy making GLOW.

Edit again- Turns out she lost a baby immediately before the first Rumble she was in (not after, as I thought) so yea.... not sure she'd be keen on another one, but I guess she could do it.

[Ian]

I do think it's a bit of a shame, just for the first one, they couldn't make up some bullshit stipulation that allowed Charlotte and Bliss into the Rumble because it must be a bit gutting for them to not be in. I know it would have been predictable that they wouldn't win, but still.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I do think it's a bit of a shame, just for the first one, they couldn't make up some bullshit stipulation that allowed Charlotte and Bliss into the Rumble because it must be a bit gutting for them to not be in. I know it would have been predictable that they wouldn't win, but still.

Yeah, it was clear that they were gutted on the pre-show.

I guess being ring side being able to hear the lecherous Corey Graves and dull as fuck Stephanie McMahon was good enough.

[Browning]

They could have done it and said the winner got to challenge for the other title (which would have had to have been some odd match where one belt was on the line, and not the other belt.... and would made the fact the champion was retaining too obvious, so they couldn't really have gone with it) which probably would have been no worse than Vickie Guerrero and having to hear that shitty Riot music 3 times.

[Ian]

Yeah, I thought either that or they get to choose their own challenger or something along those lines. You could then at least have teased more of the Alexa / Nia thing and then had the former try to screw the latter. It would have probably not benefitted the match I just felt a bit sorry for the two of them.

[Gray Fox]

Am I the only one who can't stand Sasha Banks?

[Queenslander]

She stinks.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She's hot (I love crazy coloured hair for some reason) but she's awful.

The kicking thing in the rumble was brilliant.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://media.giphy.com/media/xThtavLN7qhAw2D8Lm/giphy.gif

The anger in Brock's face :D Probably the only good moment of that match.

Actually, there was Braun voluntarily going into the table:

simpleunlawfulanura

Oh and here's the amazingly shit head scissors by Kelly Kelly:

dapperspottedaltiplanochinchillamouse

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's this from the pre-show as the commentators were wondering if Roode 'got all of it':

inferioractiveborer

[Mike]

Am I the only one who can't stand Sasha Banks?

I hope after her stuff in the Rumble she turns heel. Her heel work in NXT was really good. She made that little girl who’s into Bailey cry then stood and mocked her for it :D

[wullie]

Naomi doing the Kofi Kingston routine only to then get immediately thrown out was ace. Current plans for Wrestlemania are a fatal fourway of her, Kofi, John Morrison and Shelton Benjamin where the first person to touch the floor dies.

[Disco]

She's had some good matches but I struggle to like her and then there's her propensity to injure people.

[Browning]

She's hot (I love crazy coloured hair for some reason) but she's awful.

The kicking thing in the rumble was brilliant.

She's going bald faster than Shawn Michaels mate.

When the Sasha/Bayley stuff happened I pointed out that Bayley was carrying her and was laughed at by people on here. Glad she's proven me right. Bayley hasn't exactly set the world on fire, but Sasha is fucking shit.

[Ian]

I don't care much about her one way or the other but I think Banks is decent. She's not convincing as a face though. And she's probably one where she's not ever elevating anybody crap but she's capable of holding her own against good people, and there are way more highly-respected people than her guilty of the same.

Some decent matches on Raw. I enjoyed Asuka / Banks, Reigns / Miz and Cena / Balor were all solid. And Cena had a match that didn't involve 27 finishers! I find it interesting that the Coup de Grace is still quite well protected even though Balor himself isn't (that's a comment on his overall booking, not him losing to Cena.) A bit like the Sister Abigail and Bray. Although they do seem to like Balor a little bit more again just now.

[Browning]

Right on cue Sasha with a horrific looking suicide dive. Sure it was planned, but yea.... one of these days her career will end doing that.

Making Nakamura pick his opponent there and then and then saying Asuka doesn't have to because Bliss could lose is exactly the kind of sloppy shit they wouldn't have done back in the day. It's almost like they all knew Brock was going to retain and they'd have no champion until Mania....

[Ian]

I forgot to mention that and couldn't work out whether she'd already botched it before Asuka kicked her or if she'd intentionally caught her legs to slow her down and then the fall looked a mess. It looked almost as nasty as the one Big E did to himself whenever that was, with the only difference being that E weighs about three times what Banks does.

Also, I think Elias should be a solid midcard* heel for them but putting him in the chamber match ahead of somebody like Balor (especially when he already had a mini-feud with Cena going) is an odd choice.

* Not that WWE really has that sort of structure any more. It's basically whoever happens to be champions at the top and then everybody else in a swirling mess below where barely anybody gets to progress.

[Browning]

I think that's exactly why he is in there, to continue the feud with Cena.

[Disco]

Somebody there (one suspects HHH) likes Balor because he looked great in the Rumble and got put over during the eight hundredth DX reunion.

[Browning]

HHH taking that picture of Ronda might be the best thing of the whole wrestling weekend. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You'd have to imagine that Asuka will challenge Alexa Bliss/Insert RAW champion here (that was strange saying she could lose it) to set up the MEGA HYPE SUPER DUPER FLAIR v ROWDY RONDA match.

[Disco]

HHH and Steph v Ronda and AN Other. You heard it here first.

[wullie]

You'd imagine they want the Rock in to finish what they started in that Wrestlemania skit the other year.

[Disco]

That would fit.

Out of the current title holders I'd rather watch Asuka v Charlotte, I reckon that would be good.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

lol at the shitness of the last man standing match.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I forgot to mention that and couldn't work out whether she'd already botched it before Asuka kicked her or if she'd intentionally caught her legs to slow her down and then the fall looked a mess. It looked almost as nasty as the one Big E did to himself whenever that was, with the only difference being that E weighs about three times what Banks does.

Also, I think Elias should be a solid midcard* heel for them but putting him in the chamber match ahead of somebody like Balor (especially when he already had a mini-feud with Cena going) is an odd choice.

* Not that WWE really has that sort of structure any more. It's basically whoever happens to be champions at the top and then everybody else in a swirling mess below where barely anybody gets to progress.

Complete botch:

http://www.93x.com/2018/01/30/sasha-banks-botches-suicide-dive/

Asuka didn't even catch her with the kick which is what was meant to happen.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I felt that they should have made Cena lose, they had the strange thing with Cena seemingly letting the crowd to get to him. Would have been good had one of the fuck ups led to Balor winning.

We know that Cena wont be winning (it's going to be Boatman to set up the mega match with Lesnar) and he should be getting Elias at WM due to their feud. I guess they're using elimination chamber to set that up but I was starting to like the idea of a distracted Cena.

[Weaver]

Apparently Jeremy Borash has been snapped up by WWE from TNA.

Could be a good ‘get’, always seemed like an intelligent bloke with good ideas from podcast appearances and stuff. He worked with Matt Hardy a lot, when he was BROKEN instead of WOKEN.

[Lewis]

Has everyone seen the 'Colonel Rumble'? Is that now Ric Flair's (Rolf Harris') last match?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Probably.

He should come back now and then just to WOOOOOOOO in Rousey's face.

[Ian]

HHH and Steph v Ronda and AN Other. You heard it here first.

I heard it through Meltzer first, you fibber. Although to be fair I'd forgotten about that entirely and I was just assuming all the FUCKING SIGN POINTING was because she'd be doing a Horsewomen thing with Flair. The mixed tag probably makes more sense though at this stage.


(it's going to be Boatman to set up the mega match with Lesnar)

It isn't.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I heard it through Meltzer first, you fibber. Although to be fair I'd forgotten about that entirely and I was just assuming all the FUCKING SIGN POINTING was because she'd be doing a Horsewomen thing with Flair. The mixed tag probably makes more sense though at this stage.



It isn't.

I would be stunned if it wasn't after the whole 'YOU DIDN'T BEAT ME ARGGHHH' after the triple threat at the Rumble.

[SvN]

They've been setting up Roman v Lesnar since last Wrestlemania.

[Disco]

It's Lesnar v Reigns, put your house on it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh fun.

I wonder how many spears, samoan drops and superman punches Roman can land with Brock kicking out.

I think I'll take the over 9.5.

[Ian]

They've been making the F5 a one-hit-kill all year just so we can all be impressed when Roman kicks out of it multiple times, as if we didn't see him kick out of three of them at WM31.

I think he took four but the fourth was right before Rollins came down. There's another for you, Mahow, if you've never seen that one.

On that note, are they saving Carmella's cash-in to be a total rip-off of Rollins for maximum impact for the first female cash-in?

[Pleb]

Possibly.

I'm hoping she fucks it up though.

[Ian]

Nah. The men barely ever fail, they're not going to have the first woman cashing in make an arse of it.

Though I say that after they had the first womens MITB being won by a bloke and then shat all over the first womens Rumble winner's big moment so I probably shouldn't be working on any assumptions about how protective they're going to be on this front.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Money_in_the_Bank_ladder_match#Cash-in_matches

Two losses (plus Cena winning but not getting the Championship), there's no chance that Carmella will lose when she does cash in.

[Browning]

Don’t rule out her losing (probably to Ronda) just so the next winner can make some more much needed history.

I have no appetite whatsoever for a women’s chamber match.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You sexist pig.

[wullie]

I like them doing a Rumble as that's the best kind of match no matter what but I'm not sure about a chamber match, it's hard to put over the brutality when all the competitors have no weight about them. You need Nia Jax in there smashing the shit out of everyone for it to work at all.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Goldberg had a couple of episodes in The Flash this season.

Worked quite well but sadly he failed to spear anyone.

[Disco]

There are people on their roster who can do impactful stuff, the problem for me is that if you just mirror the men's matches then the ppv's just become tedious retreads. If WWE could book different matches properly it would work but I don't see that happening.

In other news day 2 in Sapporo was pretty great. Still unsure about Jay White and I preferred the IC match from day one (Suzuki really is great) but it was all about the aftermath. Ibushi and Omega back together should be amazing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just starting on Smackdown.

Shinsuke :D

What an intro.

John Cena
booo
knee to face
Roman Reigns
boooooooo
Knee to face

First time I've heard Caron Borbin and Ruby Riott, they're so much fucking worse than I imagined.

Sarah Logan though :wub:

[Pleb]

Have they given Mysterio 205/Smackdown/RAW yet?

You would imagine the likes of Adam Cole going to Smackdown.

[Browning]

Mysterio isn't signed.

[Lewis]

lol Rockstar Spud. He's doing the British Wrestler voice as well.

[Pleb]

Mysterio isn't signed.
:moop:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:moop:

It was only a special for the Rumble but people thought it might be more due to the GM job opening up.

[Disco]

https://i.imgur.com/AXYkFxT.png

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A fucking Brummie who used to go by Rockstar Spud? Fucking amazing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sF5auULkxE

Awww.

[Queenslander]

There are people on their roster who can do impactful stuff, the problem for me is that if you just mirror the men's matches then the ppv's just become tedious retreads. If WWE could book different matches properly it would work but I don't see that happening.


In other news day 2 in Sapporo was pretty great. Still unsure about Jay White and I preferred the IC match from day one (Suzuki really is great) but it was all about the aftermath. Ibushi and Omega back together should be amazing.







I reckon Jay White got it to keep his fued with The Elite side of the Bullet Club going. Hangman Page will challenge at the Longbeach Show.

The Golden Lovers will be awesome.if the go all the way. Kota Ibusbi is dreamy. :wub:

[Ian]

She's about a fifth of the size of him. He would probably actually break her.

After I said they're not going to have a woman make an arse of the first female cash-in they teased that on Smackdown but luckily for her it was a ring-announcer-conveniently-doesn't-know-how-MITB-works moment to save her.

More Zayn / Owens feuding this soon isn't ideal either.

And lastly they can fuck off with the bullshit presentation they were doing on the promos and other backstage bits.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

With the words? I had assumed it was normal as I've not seen Smackdown for a while. It was terrible, as is their idea for superstars to vote on other superstars for various top 10 lists.

Oh and Bliss is 5'1 (I checked because I didn't know if Charlotte was a giant or Alexa was tiny at the Rumble) compared to Boatman's 6'8.

[Shindig]

This sounds like something Vince loved booking.

[Pleb]

I threw on a random Monday Night RAW episode from 1993 on the network, the Repo Man taking Randy Savage's hat and Rob Bartlett's car from the parking lot was the highlight of the episode.

Feel like I should watch the one after that (episode 3 I think) and see if Mr Perfect defeats Ric Flair in the main event.

[Weaver]

5 Star Wrestling from Liverpool was on FreeSports earlier apparently, but I missed it - the re-run is tomorrow night at 6pm on the same channel, if anyone’s at a loose end.

John Morrison vs RVD and Zack Gibson vs Rey Mysterio were the two matches I’d heard about before the event, no idea about the rest of the card.

[Ian]

Is Lucha Underground done now? WWE should sign Morrison back if so. Unless he's gone shit with age.

[Shindig]

Nah, I can't take him being called Johnny Smackdown. He's doing alright at TNA. Even if TNA aren't.

[Queenslander]

Id prefer Adam Cole in his spot.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

NXT was a bit strange, it seemed that half of it was reminiscing about Takeover. Which was presumably watched by everyone who is actually watching NXT.

[Disco]

The episode after a Takeover is normally recaps and some dark matches they didn't show on the night.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The matches (3 IIRC) were live, but yeah. That's what it seemed like, recaps of the fights with interviews from the night thrown in.

The tag match and main event were good though.

Edit: Thinking back, the matches must have been recorded before Takeover. No superstars who were on it appeared (they're all scheduled for the next episode), no 'live' interviews/promos and I don't think the commentators mentioned Takeover once bar right at the start.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Decided to start on The Attitude Era.

Just put on KOTR '96 because that's where most people believe it started (birth of the 3:16) and I'm going to watch as many PPV's/RAW/Smackdown until around 2002 when they dropped the F.

It's going to be glorious.

[Ian]

Will that mean you miss a bunch of "Smackdown Six"-era stuff?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I hadn't heard of 'Smackdown Six' so I had to Google it. I probably will miss some but I might select some PPV's from later in the year involving them.

The search threw this up:

https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/6503d5/in_the_midst_of_a_new_smackdown_six/

One of those names is not like the others...

[Ian]

Quite aside from the amount of expectation he's putting on poor old Jeremy he's missing the point that the Smackdown Six wasn't just about the roster, or the six in question being in great form at the same time. Heyman nailed the booking.

[Queenslander]

Super Card of Honor has Omega v Cody. I wonder if the Tongans will be there as well as the Elite?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Having just seen Mankind/'Taker (I can't fucking wait until I get to their Hell in the Cell), I've had a thought.

If all wrestling personas were completely real, which would be the most frightening to stumble across?

Mankind/Cactus Jack (Mankind is batshit and both seemingly have no regard for their lives), Kane and Undertaker have to be right up there.

Edit: Boogeyman and Goldust would win but you'd just think they're 'local eccentrics'.

[Shindig]

New Jack.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

'Did you hear when I got up close to Paul Bearer? I said what happened? How did you cause the Undertaker to lose last night? He said I didn't mean to. I believe that like OJ Simpson hosting a dinner to benefit spousal abuse'.

Brilliant. The commentary is so much better than I remembered.

Also strange hearing Owen Hart calling Shawn Michaels' manager (Jose Lothario) a dirty Mexican who should go back to Tijuana.

[Ian]

Yeah, luckily they've moved away from that sort of outdated racism and Vince telling people he owned their family back when they were savages with bones through their noses.

....

Oh wait, he said that really recently to Roman Reigns who inexplicably failed to cave his face in.


New Jack.

That's a good shout. Sandman too, fucking smashing his own head in before he'd even started.

[Shindig]

Actually, the real answer might be Chris Benoit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pre or post murder/suicide?

[Shindig]

Pre. Sounded like a timebomb that bullied newbies backstage.

[Ian]

Who was it Puder got battered by.... Benoit, Holly (obviously) and somebody else in a Rumble for having the temerity to not let Angle bully him and then making an arse of him?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Who was it Puder got battered by.... Benoit, Holly (obviously) and somebody else in a Rumble for having the temerity to not let Angle bully him and then making an arse of him?

Eddie:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxmN5MJsNss

[Shindig]

Confined the Miz to the public toilets for ages because he got chicken breadcrumbs over his luggage, too. And I'm sure there's a story where he injected piss into somebody's toothpaste.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW6_0H44aQw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmfXjx_fRd8

Holly is/was a massive cunt, so was Bradshaw too apparently.

The second (interview regarding actually beating a Tough Enough guy up) is ridiculous. He's such a massive cunt who actually took pleasure in beating someone up who thought he was going to get a kayfabe beat down.

[Queenslander]

Im surprised there has been one sexual assualt allegation involving the WWE during this #MeToo movement.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The 'divas' probably thought everything was fair game.

I bet Sunny (who is now an online model who sells 'private' Skype shows), Sable, Terri Runnels (her Marlena gimmick is awful btw, genuinely repulsive seeing her puff away on huge cigars) etc were probably being passed round the entire locker room.

HBK and Billy Gunn alone must have covered all the divas.

[Disco]

Yeah, the cigars are the distasteful thing about that gimmick. Sure.

[Queenslander]

Trish Stratus barking like a dog is another one.

[Mike]

How do you think the crowd would react today if three seasoned veterans beat on a new guy like that? They’re clearly loving it in that clip.

[Shindig]

They'd still love it. Closest thing we probably got was when Enzo got fed to all of the cruiserweights.

[Queenslander]

No way 2018 crowds would love it. Remember they chanted fire JBL for bullying Rannalo with words!

[Browning]

Im surprised there has been one sexual assualt allegation involving the WWE during this #MeToo movement.

It hit British indies pretty bad last month so WWE is probably only a matter of time.

[Ian]

Undertaker is one of the ringleaders of all that "wrestlers court bullahit too. But that's allowed because he's a "legend." And a deeply overrated one at that.

There's definitely a whole wave of #MeToo stuff to potentially come out and the fallout will be deeply unpleasant.

[Queenslander]

It hit British indies pretty bad last month so WWE is probably only a matter of time.

Ill have to have a google.

[Queenslander]

Undertaker is one of the ringleaders of all that "wrestlers court bullahit too. But that's allowed because he's a "legend." And a deeply overrated one at that.

There's definitely a whole wave of #MeToo stuff to potentially come out and the fallout will be deeply unpleasant.

Im glad Im not the only one who thinks old mate is one of the most overrated Superstars of all time.

[Ian]

I was also right into the word 'deeply' in that post, which is perhaps inappropriate given the subject.

Also if "old mate" is an autocorrect of Undertaker then your phone has nailed that.

[Queenslander]

Easier to type old mate.

[Ian]

But yeah, if a load of sexual inappropriateness and bullying stuff is about to come out in WWE Old Mate would be better just finally retiring now and getting the hell out of there.

[Ian]

Finally got around to watching Takeover. Really good stuff, as usual. I didn't love Almas / Gargano quite to the extent that everybody else seems to have done but it was bloody good. Gargano / Ciampa is gonna be good. Their CWC match was good and that didn't have all this build for it.

I like Aleister Black a lot too.

[Disco]

I hadn't realised there were two more days of New Beginning this week. That's my evening viewing sorted. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Anyone else have audio issues with RAW from last night/this morning?

Always lol when they have Reigns cutting a promo, especially with Wyatt who is probably the best at promos right now.

[Disco]

Are there two Wyatts now then?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well I think he's great.

He's my favourite wrestler in the WWE right now :eyemouth:

I reckon me and Sister Abigail would make a nice couple.

[wullie]

Every time Balor and the lads are on you can see them constantly remembering that someone handed them a memo saying SMILE ALL THE TIME IT WON'T LOOK WEIRD.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He might be a demon but he is Oirish.

[Browning]

Wyatt the best at promos? Does making sense not matter any more?

[Lewis]

Turns out there is an entire Wikipedia article (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persona_and_reception_of_Roman_Reigns) on why nobody likes Roman Reigns.

[Disco]

Well I think he's great.

He's my favourite wrestler in the WWE right now :eyemouth:

I reckon me and Sister Abigail would make a nice couple.

It's fine, you're just about five years behind everyone else on the Wyatt 'I'm tired of your bullshit' Trajectory

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jason Jordan :D

I love how much of a fucking idiot they've made him.

Also so lucky that we got to have double the Reigns this week.

Angle also sounded drunk when he was making the elimination chamber announcement. They also fucked up by not putting Jax in the chamber, the match with Asuka is pointless. They shouldn't end the streak yet so it's meh, just make it a triple threat match (stupid) at WM. They'll probably have Nia lose in controversial fashion and add her to WM.

Speaking of Reigns though, this is probably the best thing he's ever done:

960711042077569026

[Ian]

Anyone else have audio issues with RAW from last night/this morning?

Always lol when they have Reigns cutting a promo, especially with Wyatt who is probably the best at promos right now.

Wyatt's delivery is fine but he doesn't even have the excuse that the majority of them do that where the writers are scripting a load of absolute shit for them because he supposedly gets to do his own. The character could still work but they need to get him off telly for a bit and basically start again. That said, at least "Woken" Matt hardy makes him look slightly better.


Turns out there is an entire Wikipedia article (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persona_and_reception_of_Roman_Reigns) on why nobody likes Roman Reigns.

The difference between the reaction he got when they thought he was going to stop Batista winning in '14 (?) and then the year later when he got booed out of the building is amazing.

I like him a lot, I just wish they'd turn him into a bullying, dickhead heel and be done with it.

[wullie]

It's nice that now Kane's put on a bit of timber he's donated his old tights to Seth Rollins.

[Weaver]

It's nice that now Kane's put on a bit of timber he's donated his old tights to Seth Rollins.

Reminded me of Jericho’s kegs when he ‘won’ the WWF Title in 2000.

It’s better than his power rangers look, I feel.

[Ian]

I meant to say that I thought they were actually about to do something interesting with the Bliss / Angle / sexism bit on Raw until Angle just basically went "Yeah, but, right, whatever yeah?" and cracked on.

[Browning]

I can't get my head around the Nia Jax Vs Asuka match. As much as I think Nia should be unemployed because she's fucking shit, she's the only person who had a prayer of beating Alexa in the chamber to finally give us some pay off to this Nia/Alexa story. Instead they put Alexa in with a bunch of women who have zero chance of beating her while giving us Nia Vs Asuka which makes no sense either in Kayfabe or out of it. In Kayfabe, why the fuck would they give Nia the chance when she didn't win the rumble or even come second? And out of it.... does anyone really believe there's any chance in hell she ends Asuka's streak? Fucking awful booking all round.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I meant to say that I thought they were actually about to do something interesting with the Bliss / Angle / sexism bit on Raw until Angle just basically went "Yeah, but, right, whatever yeah?" and cracked on.

Yep, it was pointless.

I was hoping they'd change something up but nothing.

Also, he sounded drunk as fuck during that. He could barely speak when making the announcement.

[Ian]

Angle always sounds drunk. Combine the fact that he can't say "WWE" with his constant knee-bent slouch and half the time he genuinely looks like they dragged him in off the street for a laugh.

And yet didn't he get a lot of praise for his WCPW performance(s)?


Kayfabe, why the fuck would they give Nia the chance when she didn't win the rumble or even come second? And out of it.... does anyone really believe there's any chance in hell she ends Asuka's streak? Fucking awful booking all round.

Non-Rumble winners have been getting shots at the champ between the Rumble and Mania since at least as long as I've been watching wrasslin'. Wrestlemania 17's main event would have been Austin vs. Angle without it, for instance. I assume nobody thinks Jax has a shred of a chance but such is the way that streaks are built. I'm kinda curious to see how good a match Asuka can drag out of her though.

[Browning]

That’s not what this is though. This is a non rumble winner vs the rumble winner with the chance to share the rumble prize, which makes no sense.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah, I got my angles mixed up. And apparently the inevitability of their 'Mania match and increasing obscurity of Alexa's reign already has me thinking of Asuka as champion. :face: And it doesn't even compare to the Show / Rock thing as there was the 'controversy' about the Rock's win.

[Disco]

Someone (who obviously has it in for me) said I should watch Cena / Balor from Raw this week. What a shitshow, add his Rumble shenanigans in and you wonder why Cena bothers anymore, he clearly doesn't give a flying fuck.

This is why someone like Reigns (who I genuinely feel for when he gets booed like he did at the Rumble) is 1000x better than current Cena.