The Ultimate WWE Thread

[Disco]

Old guys have always been better, it's just the way wrestling is.

[Browning]

It's setting up HHH to bury him again.

[Smiffy]

The last sentence sums up my biggest problem with it: they've probably made a boatload of young Goldberg fans and for what? He may wrestle at the Royal Rumble and maybe Wrestlemania and that's it. There's no point to Goldberg in 2016.

It's WWE presenting their current guys as geeks and inferior to the previous generations. And they are inferior but when WWE portrays it that way they end up just shitting on themselves.

£££. From a financial point of view it makes sense and that's all there is to it. It was clearly a decision that worked given how social media blew up and people who don't give a shit about wrestling are talking about wrestling. It's a short term view but then when hasn't it been? When was the last slow burning angle? The last superstar to get over organically? (I don't include Daniel fucking Bryan in that either). It's impossible to cater for all likes and let's be honest, we more than had our fill back way back when. SvN's quote makes sense when looked at it from a different point of view.

Problem isn't even the way the match finished, in hindsight it was good as it opened up possibilities but that's where the downside is.

[7om]

Three years ago I would have multi-quoted the shit out of this and gone to town. Now I just don't care. That's how far this has fallen, for me.

[Ian]

I really don't understand how your expectations can be high enough for you to seem so dejected every time you tune into WWE and, surprise surprise, find a 2010s WWE show waiting for you. When you watch a load of older stuff back to back though I can assure you of one thing, the 50/50 stuff aside the booking wasn't any better back in the "glory days" than it was now.

Anyway, I was unsurprisingly disappointed in general having allowed myself to become optimistic but I enjoyed the main Survivor Series match even if it soon became a spotfest, I enjoyed the main event more than it deserved and despite all the things wrong with it because I'm sick of Lesnar and wanted to enjoy both the IC and Cruiser matches if only they'd given the former a bit more time and not done that shithouse ending for the latter.


In fairness, that's the most I've been entertained by a Brock match since his HIAC match with Undertaker.

He is such a colossal yawn so while there are least three dozen reasons for that ending to be an absolute fucking catastrophe I was still grinning from ear to ear. Fuck you, Baroque. They'll have a rematch but it really wouldn't bother if he fucked off for a few years at this point.


Where's he going? WWE is his only realistic option now he's banned from UFC.

Fuck off back to his farm, as Lew said. And just roger Sable quite a bit, you'd think.

[Jeet]

Strangely decent show due to some surprising results. RAW going 2-0 up was weird too.

Expect Taker to cost Ambrose then at TLC due to his threat on SD. What a shitfest of a match that will be, AJ can just about carry Ambrose.

[7om]

I really don't understand how your expectations can be high enough for you to seem so dejected every time you tune into WWE and, surprise surprise, find a 2010s WWE show waiting for you. When you watch a load of older stuff back to back though I can assure you of one thing, the 50/50 stuff aside the booking wasn't any better back in the "glory days" than it was now.


My expectations were that it would be crap and I was right. I haven't even watched any WWE in months and had this on because I saw an advert and put it on in the background. We're long past the point where I tune into a show and expect anything good, I'm not that dumb.

And the booking was better before, in my opinion.

[Jeet]

Also biggest John O'clock ever when JBL shouted 'RAW WINS!' when Bray of Smackdown pinned Roman :henn0rz:

[Ian]

My expectations were that it would be crap and I was right.

Then I'm obviously misreading the tone because you always write about it as if it's a personal insult.


And the booking was better before, in my opinion.

A few extra stories kicking about, guys allowed to look a bit stronger but they were carried by guys getting absurdly over in spite of what the WWF/E wanted to do, not because of it, and giving them little choice. They had the same shitshow of terrible endings, your average Raw and Smackdown was still mostly crammed full of dross and you still had [wrestler]winslol, it's just that people liked Austin winning every single match.

If the booking was better it was only just. Watch enough back and you soon learn there's a fuckload of utter dross whatever era you're looking at.

[Queenslander]

Ive been catching up on New Japan's G1 Climax and it is really refreshing to watch. Kenny Omega is easily better than most of the blokes in WWE but I guess he is suited to the NJPW style.

[7om]

Then I'm obviously misreading the tone because you always write about it as if it's a personal insult.


I think you must be because how could shit booking be a personal insult? Criticizing a product doesn't mean I'm offended or upset, I'm just pointing out that I think it's crap.

[Ian]

You've taken that a bit literally.

[GS]

You'd expect Goldberg wasn't in great shape to do an extended match, so it's probably better having him squash him in three minutes than engage in a fifteen minute match where they dodge each other, suplex each other, and Lesnar has to walk around taunting the crowd whilst Goldberg catches his breath.

[Ian]

It was also a nice touch for Goldberg to be soaking wet as soon as he came out of his locker room so you didn't notice the sweat flooding off him like during his promos these last few weeks.

[SvN]

It was also a nice touch for Goldberg to be soaking wet as soon as he came out of his locker room so you didn't notice the sweat flooding off him like during his promos these last few weeks.

I read he's always soaking so his pyro doesn't burn his skin off.

[Browning]

I'm not sure why people are searching for positives in this, there are not any. Lesnar couldn't go on raping people forever but being "the man who beat Lesnar" was going to carry so much weight, and they've spunked it up the wall on an OAP who at best might have 2 more matches in him (The Rumble and WM) and who seemingly can't be trusted to wrestle for 90 seconds. I don't care how many Goldberg fans were created last night, it's an absolute fucking farce.

[SvN]

The positive is, I was entertained. And so were a ton of other people. You don't always have to look so deep.

[Smiffy]

Raw is on now so here's hoping for a quick explanation. Make or break from a storyline point of view or whether last night was all it was going to be.

EDIT: He's coming right out so here's hoping. :cool:

[7om]

I'm not sure why people are searching for positives in this, there are not any. Lesnar couldn't go on raping people forever but being "the man who beat Lesnar" was going to carry so much weight, and they've spunked it up the wall on an OAP who at best might have 2 more matches in him (The Rumble and WM) and who seemingly can't be trusted to wrestle for 90 seconds. I don't care how many Goldberg fans were created last night, it's an absolute fucking farce.

Oh well. As long as it gave everyone a bit of shallow shock-factor then it doesn't matter if it made sense or not. Creative has always been drivel, apparently.

[Browning]

The positive is, I was entertained. And so were a ton of other people. You don't always have to look so deep.

You were entertained for 90 seconds and that makes throwing years of build down the drain alright?

Hopefully they have Hogan leg drop that cunt Goldberg's face off. That would entertain me so fuck whatever else it destroys.

[Queenslander]

It's fake wrestling mate.

If people arent watching New Japan I suggest they get on board. It reminds me of old school stiff wrestling from the 80's

[wullie]

Goldberg hasn't lost in 12 years now so that's the streak to beat, when they give that victory to James Ellsworth so many people will feel silly.

[Browning]

It's fake wrestling mate.


In that case they may as well pack up and go home then.

It's just common sense that you don't build up someone as an unstoppable beast and job him to a pensioner in 90 seconds.

[Disco]

Be fair, they jobbed him to a videogame, selling stuff is basically the point of Raw these days.

[Smiffy]

You were entertained for 90 seconds and that makes throwing years of build down the drain alright?

You keep coming out with this spiel but when was the last time a genuine effort to build someone paid dividends?

WWE built up Lesnar in his first run, he bolted. Heyman pitched CM Punk to beat the streak, he quit. Daniel Bryan had the opportunity before The Rock got injured otherwise Lesnar would never have faced The Undertaker but DB instead, he had to go through injury. Sting V Undertaker before it became apparent Sting could barely last two minutes and so on and so on.

Unless you can give me a genuine example of when the WWE spent years building someone up then successfully built on that then what gives you the confidence that it would have been different with Brock Lesnar? Fact is even if it was going that way and Lesnar remained unbeaten, the only legitimate person on the roster you would have fancied beating him lost to him at WrestleMania because the fans dislike him as he's not their chosen one.

Of course if all the roster were as reliant as the other disliked one, John Cena then you'd have much more confidence in the actual wrestler sticking around to make such a rub worthwhile. As it is, I can't recall a single example.

[Smiffy]

In that case they may as well pack up and go home then.

It's just common sense that you don't build up someone as an unstoppable beast and job him to a pensioner in 90 seconds.

As fun as it has been, common sense should have dictated that building Brock Lesnar as strong as he had been built up would always lead to this point irrespective of who he was facing.

No matter who he lost to it wouldn't have made a difference.

[Disco]

He's also a part timer with a penchant for walking away from stuff to find a payday somewhere else, how much of your full time roster do you really want to feed to someone like that? Bringing Glodbog back for a couple of high profile matches makes perfect sense, having Lesnar steamroll everyone every time really doesn't.

[Smiffy]

He's also a part timer with a penchant for walking away from stuff to find a payday somewhere else.

Not entirely true. Sports Entertainment was never his preferred choice but other than the Olympics there wasn't a great way to go. He tried at football and was unfortunate then the UFC stuff. He's a fine specimen.

[Browning]

The fact they've been terrible at it in the past still doesn't justify lesnar losing to someone completely incapable of doing anything with it. It may as well have been Hogan, that would be exactly the same. At least Hogan could still throw a punch without falling over.

I never thought Lesnar should have beaten the streak because he was already as big as he was going to get. To give him it and job him to Goldberg cannot be justified.

[Smiffy]

The fact they've been terrible at it in the past still doesn't justify lesnar losing to someone completely incapable of doing anything with it. It may as well have been Hogan, that would be exactly the same. At least Hogan could still throw a punch without falling over.

I never thought Lesnar should have beaten the streak because he was already as big as he was going to get. To give him it and job him to Goldberg cannot be justified.

It wouldn't have matter who beat him. Trade Goldberg for any other wrestler on the roster, if they'd squashed him it would have still been a WTF moment, if they'd beaten him you'd then have a wrestler who has the rub of beating the beast then probably lose to James Elsworth a few episodes down the line.

I'm looking forward to both Goldberg and Lesnar running riot in the Rumble. :cool:

[Lewis]

Hopefully they have Hogan leg drop that cunt Goldberg's face off. That would entertain me so fuck whatever else it destroys.

:drool:

[7om]

I'd go one step further and have Scott Hall come out and taser him behind the ref's back. Big boot, heel turn cupping the ear to the crowd, air guitar, three leg drops, crowd throws trash in the ring.

[wullie]

http://i.imgur.com/dv4JBKs.gif

[7om]

Didn't miss a beat. What a hero.

[Disco]

Yeah, Hall was genuinely great. Never got the hype around Nash.

[Ian]

I'm sure we discussed it in here but I did chuckle at whoever it was (was it somebody as obvious as Cornette?) talking about having to get Fake Diesel and Fake Hall ready to, well, pretend to be them in matches, only to discover Nash only had three moves or whatever it was. Nash is shit and a massive cunt to boot.

To be honest if they're never going to let anybody proper look like anything other than a weak twat against Lesnar then by all means keep him restricted to these stupid novelty matches. Chess-boxing against Great Khali at Royal Rumble please.

[Disco]

It was Cornette, and I think it was five moves including the hair sweep.

[Ian]

Sidewalk slam, big boot, Jacknife Powerbomb, hair sweep....

What was the fourth? Politicking?

[Disco]

Sidewalk slam, big boot, Jacknife Powerbomb, hair sweep....

What was the fourth? Politicking?

https://youtu.be/2JpOQcgE-zY?t=46s

[Lewis]

Kevin Nash is sound, and they could do a lot worse than giving him a creative role.

[wullie]

Undertaker announcing he's back and then not appearing on Survivor Series or the Smackdown episode after was great stuff.

[Weaver]

The full Team Hell No and Ryback vs The Shield match from TLC 2012 is on WWE's YouTube channel :drool:

[Browning]

WCPW PPV coming to MK. :drool:

I don't know why I care, but it might be a laugh as it's down the road.

[Ian]

I still find it odd that WCPW is even a thing.

[Disco]

I find it odder that it's actually not bad.

[Shindig]

I find it odder that Simon works for Eurogamer as well.

[Queenslander]

I wish we had something similar down here.

[Gray Fox]

I'm keen to see how far it goes. It seemed to me to start off as a 'can we actually do this?' type of project but is seemingly snowballing. I mean they can already pull in great names.

[Disco]

It's been worth it just for Martin Kirby.

[Queenslander]

I never thought that I would say this but NJPW, ROH and WCPW make me care a lot more than WWE atm.

[Browning]

Credit where it's due, the girls were awesome in that main event last night. Not Sasha/Bayley levels, but probably the best main roster women's match we've had in a while.

[Ian]

Heyman's been really odd during this Goldberg feud and his unshaven, bleary-eyed look during the interview with Cole was just weird.

[SvN]

I thought it was great.

[wullie]

Cesaro and Sheamus' buddy cop routine in the boarded-off pub full of indy wrestlers was amazing.

[Queenslander]

The Elite are truly amazing!

https://youtu.be/xcgozCq8IhY

[Ian]

Cesaro and Sheamus' buddy cop routine in the boarded-off pub full of indy wrestlers was amazing.

I want to hate it, just like I wanted to hate the Owens/Jericho thing when it was first thrown together seemingly to give them something to do but bugger me it's good food. It helps that they actually work a decent tag match.

[wullie]

I'm hoping that the constant mentions of New Day beating Demolition's record actually work in an appearance by Ax and Smash. They'll look decrepit but it'll be worth it for the music and sex dungeon outfits.

[Shindig]

Krona Krush and Black Top Bully meet backstage, they give each other a long look and then proceed to the nearest rooftop. Complete in Demolition gear, they powerbomb The New Day to the streets below.

[SvN]

Aren't Demolition part of that concussion lawsuit against the WWE? I thought that was the entire reason for them wanting to beat their record.

[SvN]

They look pretty shit nowadays

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cx1UsDIUsAAQSL7.jpg:large

[wullie]

First show I ever saw was Summerslam 90 where they brought in Crush because Ax had a bad heart so couldn't wrestle loads, how the hell is he still alive 26 years on?

I'm surprised they haven't had anyone take CM Punk's longest modern reign record with the world title, they did it with AJ and all she did was marry him.

[Smiffy]

It would appear the TLC PPV is tonight. I don't know any of the matches and too late to check now as I might hit a spoiler but the last time I enjoyed a ladder match I think was when Joey Mercury got his nose split wide open. :drool:

[Browning]

TLC was a bit shit.

[Ian]

I don't know that I ever enjoy the whole of a PPV where there are several gimmick matches that are, to all intents and purposes, the same.

- Wyatts vs. Rhyno/Slater felt inevitable but I am quite enjoying the dynamic between the three of them.
- IC title match I enjoyed because I like the two together, but presumably and hopefully that's the end of it.
- Corbin and Kalisto was far better than the non-entity I expected, because Corbin actually put some effort into it while Kalisto bumped how you'd expect but Corbin actually sold his attacks and made it feel like a proper match. I expected a procession.
- Styles/Ambrose.... I was bored of ladders and things by then, sadly. This was nothing special and I'm reading for Ellsworth to fuck off now.

Didn't bother with either womens match. None of it was remarkable but nor did I hate it.

[Browning]

I've put RAW on as last week's was alright, and the first 45 minutes have been really good. Not cared about Big Show since 2001 but it was close to a mark out moment, I just wish they had let him go over, though what they did protected both I guess. Owens Vs Sami, as usual, has been decent. Promising start, already better than TLC.

[Jeet]

Ellsworth interrupting AJ when he was fingertips away from the title, then goes and pushes Ambrose because he wanted AJ to win.....

[wullie]

This Undertaker return's going great. Smackdown in Houston, not a peep from him.

[Browning]

Going to WCPW.

Angle Vs Del Rio sold it. :drool:

[Ian]

Ambrose deciding he didn't need to bother selling the endless work Miz had done on his leg in that IC title match so he could do one of his shit suicide dives was top, top stuff.

[Shindig]

Unless it's Road Warrior levels of no-selling, I don't want to know about it.

[Ian]

He went from terrible over-selling to no-selling so he could do the dive then back to over-selling.

[Queenslander]

Has anyone signed up to What Culture's paid service? I'm definitely going to give a month a go.

[Queenslander]

Fuck yes Cody Rhodes is the newest member of Bullet Club!

[Pleb]

I feel that warrents a :D but I'm hardly shocked if I'm honest.

[Queenslander]

I'm passionate. :)

It will be a good thing I reckon. His matches will be great over there and he won't have to spew a scripted promo. Are you not a fan of NJPW?

[Pleb]

Never seen it personally. I'll youtube it :thbup:

[Queenslander]

Prince Devitt
https://youtu.be/oFY24KX13Rk
Kenny Omega winning G1
https://youtu.be/ACNilWqVTnI
Elite v Okada + 2 others
https://youtu.be/xcgozCq8IhY

Nakamura v Aj Styles
https://youtu.be/r_qu5V0j7sw
Nakamura v Kita Ibushi
https://youtu.be/oYoRfzKTrfI

Might just be me but the WWE as it is currently is pretty boring after watching these type of matches.

[Queenslander]

#toosweetordelete

[Browning]

Kevin Owens 1-0 That kid's Mum.

[Queenslander]

http://whatculture.com/wwe/10-best-njpw-matches-of-the-year

WWE really has a had an awful year in comparison.

Edit: I mean the Main roster.

[SvN]

According to Meltzer's match ratings, it's the best year in a while. I'd say the actual wrestling is great at the moment, but storylines are lacking.

[Queenslander]

Maybe it's down to taste but I really enjoyed Wrestle Kingdom and G1. Don't get.me wrong NXT is a brilliant show and for me is consistently more entertaining than the main roster.

I'll have to suss out more of Meltzer's podcasts.

[Ian]

I was talking to somebody yesterday about who the fuck they're going to have face AJ now. My stance was that matches between him and Ziggler should be at least consistently solid but that they haven't really done anything with Ziggler to propel him from losing out to Miz into the World title picture.

*Ziggler becomes #1 contender*

I get that Smackdown is going to have to have these feuds for the WWE title to boost the champ and kill time (there's no chance of Ziggler actually winning it yet, shirley?) but at least position the guys to do it.

[Shindig]

Wait, he went from "I'm quitting" to "I'm #1 contender" in that short space of time?

That's gone a bit Eric Young, lads.

[Ian]

So from what I can see upcoming PPVs for Smackdown are Royal Rumble, Elimination Chamber and then presumably there'll be one more between that (at the start of February) and Wrestlemania. That being the case while it's still a bit odd maybe Ziggler sort of makes sense as he may only get a single 1v1 PPV title shot out of it. Depending on if my Google-fu has failed me or if there are likely to be any extra PPVs announced.

AJ beats him at the Rumble, Ziggler is one of a number (including Cena, as he's back soon) at Elimination Chamber and then..... Cena beats AJ at Wrestlemania to get his 16th?

[wullie]

Undertaker beating him and defending against Cena going for Flair's record is the general guess.

[igor_balis]

According to Meltzer's match ratings, it's the best year in a while. I'd say the actual wrestling is great at the moment, but storylines are lacking.

It is precisely this. The 'in-ring product' is good, but there's no reason to give a shit about most of it.

[Ian]

Undertaker beating him and defending against Cena going for Flair's record is the general guess.

I totally forgot about Undertaker's all-conquering return. EC might make sense for that too, actually. He gets to win the title and "beat" five other guys in the process without actually having to do much.

[wullie]

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/talent_champion_xl/public/all/2016/12/20161213_UKtitles_reveal_v2--21c263786449f1bf76886fa7192a17d3.jpg


LONDON — At a historic press conference at the O2 Arena in London, Triple H revealed that WWE’s first-ever United Kingdom Champion will be crowned this January.

The WWE United Kingdom Championship Tournament is a 16-competitor, two-day throwdown at Blackpool’s Empress Ballroom, airing live and exclusively on the award-winning WWE Network, featuring some of the best talent the U.K. has to offer. The last man standing at the end of the tournament will be crowned champion and awarded a title, which was also revealed at the conference.

Are they shitting it about this ITV wrestling thing then?

[SvN]

Yep they really are

[wullie]

Someone should have sent HHH a tape of when ITV did Celebrity Wrestling with D'Lo Brown and Just Joe coaching Lee Sharpe and Mark Speight (later mastered the suicide dive weeeeeeeeeeey)

Nigel McGuinness and Michael Cole commentating and it's going to be a weekly UK show now, what the hell

[Queenslander]

I really hope the UK wrestling scene forces the WWE to get back to basics and focus on professional wrestling and not the other nonsense that they continue to fail at.

[Lewis]

My British Wrestler gimmick can only be introduced under a very specific set of circumstances, so I'll give this a miss and hope Grado wins.

[7om]

Just seen the list of competitors for this and one lad from Wolverhampton is called Trent Seven. Can't help but think he's taking the piss because all of West Midlands' water supply is done by Severn Trent.

The belt looks like something made on a WWE 2K game.

[Shindig]

My British Wrestler gimmick can only be introduced under a very specific set of circumstances, so I'll give this a miss and hope Grado wins.

Giant Hay Tax.

[7om]

Scott Hull.

[Gray Fox]

I can't wait for Mr B. Rexit.

[Disco]

Doug Williams already bagged that.

[Lewis]

Scott Hull.

Hull Hogan, surely?

The British Wrestler was actually conceived lolling at Nigel McGuinness, specifically him shouting 'LISTEN 'ERE TINKERBEW' at Jay Lethal (he wears a mask, so I also planned to cut the promos myself and have McGuinness do the wrestling), so this is a nice way to bring it about.

[7om]

Hull Hogan, surely?


'Now let me tell you something... chuck!'

[Lewis]

Hull, mate. Not Rochdale.

[Shindig]

Reet Flair.

"Eeeeeeh."

[Ian]

Hull Corgan, obviously.

[wullie]

I did like Jack Gallagher announcing his intentions to interfere in a match and give Daivari a good thrashing. He's the first cruiserweight to offer any kind of character so far outside 'wears a jacket'

[Shindig]

Ah, the Alex Wright.

[Ian]

I did like Jack Gallagher announcing his intentions to interfere in a match and give Daivari a good thrashing. He's the first cruiserweight to offer any kind of character so far outside 'wears a jacket'

I'm going to spoiler his brutal suicide dive.

http://i.imgur.com/M7Aagob.gif

[wullie]

Stop the damn match!

[Disco]

They made all those intro video packages for the CWC and now don't bother using them, I've never quite got that.

[Ian]

Roadblock was a bit pants (I read beforehand that Demolition are part of a lawsuit against WWE so New Day getting the record then immediately losing the belts really feels like a classic McMahon politics job) but Raw was absolutely diabolical this week. Smackdown was a bit better, and Miz's bit with Renee Young came as a bit of a surprise.

Despite not being the most talented, Miz must be comfortably their best heel just now.

[Waffdon]

Owens and Jericho are great

[Ian]

Owens is not a great heel any more because he's too likeable and he's never allowed to look strong. He's not allowed to be a proper heel (barely anybody in WWE is.)

Jericho maybe less so in that he's more overtly a dickhead. If they had any kind of depth for the main event I'd be advocating an Owens face turn and soon.

[Waffdon]

Naah, Owens is far better has a heel. It's just WWE to either make heels pussies or big giant steroid abusers who run through everyone until John Cena or Roman Reigns beat them and buried them.

[wullie]

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2449564/shocked-shopper-claims-wwe-roman-reigns-wrestler-masks-stocked-in-the-entertainer-look-like-peter-sutcliffe/

[Ian]

:D

I quite enjoyed Smackdown. Or the main event at least. That End of Days/Zig Zag spot was nicely done.

[Disco]

Owens is not a great heel any more because he's too likeable and he's never allowed to look strong. He's not allowed to be a proper heel (barely anybody in WWE is.)

Jericho maybe less so in that he's more overtly a dickhead. If they had any kind of depth for the main event I'd be advocating an Owens face turn and soon.

At last count I think it was just The Miz who is actually a proper heel, probably the only one since JBL.

[igor_balis]

I find heel and face dynamics a bit weird. I know the old guard like Cornette and JR scoff at people saying heels and faces don't exist anymore, but like...to me, a heel/face divide sort of implies a bunch of unambiguously good guys you are meant to universally like, and the opposite for the bad guys, but they certainly don't have that, and I'm not sure they could or even should. I'm not sure if the solution should be giving up on it entirely or just "book better".

[Ian]

There isn't even that broad a mix of characters in WWE anymore though, that's the problem for me.

They tend to fall into puerile gobby twat, brutish twat or a combination of the two.

[Disco]

JBL would blank and insult fans in his day to day life (it helps that he's a massive wanker anyway) but these days you don't sell as many lunchboxes as a proper heel. Essentially the game changed, the NWO and people like Austin / Rock etc ended any proper heel/face divide.

[igor_balis]

There isn't even that broad a mix of characters in WWE anymore though, that's the problem for me.

They tend to fall into puerile gobby twat, brutish twat or a combination of the two.

Indeed. I know it is a bit of a hackneyed critique of WWE, but their policy of hiring a billion failed sitcom writers really shines through in their characters as well. Rather than the wrestlers representing a wide range of believable blokes with relatable motivations, you've basically just got loads of two-dimensional sitcom characters.

I think the Dreamworks part of this meme is quite applicable with a few tweaks I can't be arsed to make:

http://i.imgur.com/LuYTe.jpg

[Smiffy]

Reminds me of an episode of Family Guy (I think), a fishtank full of ideas?

[Queenslander]

The cool heel needs to go away.

[Shindig]

There isn't even that broad a mix of characters in WWE anymore though, that's the problem for me.

They tend to fall into puerile gobby twat, brutish twat or a combination of the two.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaaZsBxWeiQ

[John]

Reminds me of an episode of Family Guy (I think), a fishtank full of ideas?

That was South Park taking the piss out of Family Guy, with the sea lion writers.

[Ian]

World of Sport Wrestling this afternoon. :drool: I think I'm more excited for JR than the actual wrestling, mind.

If there was any truth to WWE wanting to get Rousey in for something or other does her getting lolled out of the cage last night lessen their interest?

[Smiffy]

It didn't seem to do Lesnar much harm against Mir.

[Disco]

She has a better record than Brock so I don't see why not.

[Lewis]

Because Baroque Lesnar was still a huge rasslin' draw, and had his illness excuse. She can't really roll in and start flattening everybody coming off two gubbings.

[Browning]

It doesn't because she's female so Stephanie McMahon automatically wants her involved so she can take credit for it. After all there is a REVOLUTION going on with such names as the US Women's Soccer team and that plucky up and comer Serena Williams.

WWE is going to be a right state when she takes over.

[Jeet]

World of Sports looks abit shite on ITV :D

[Lewis]

I think it's good in a 'wrestling is actually for kids' way.

[Lewis]

Also, Jim Ross has made twenty minutes of this more exciting than the last five years of Raw.

[Lewis]

Ooh, a mystery participant in the Battle Royal[e]. This is basically WWE had the Monday Night Wars never happened, and if Jim Cornette had absolute booking power.

[Shindig]

Seems alright. High-work rate, proper telly nonsense with pantomime backstage stuff. And they'll probably only do it for 6-8 weeks and can book accordingly.

[Lewis]

IT'S THE BRITISH BULLDOG's son!

[Shindig]

That was very daft. Proper editing, lads. Any spot that looks a little watershed gets cut to a shot of a kid's face.

[Disco]

That was like an episode of Gladiators.

Grado though. :cool:

[wullie]

They really should have booed Davey Jr for being both late and Canadian.

[Ian]

I'm just starting this but for a minute I thought Alex Shane was actualky David Gest.

[Ian]

You think Grado's a riot and then you see this lad he's against. :D

Fucking hell.

[Ian]

"Grado's engulfed!", squawks JR as Mastiff makes an obvious non-winning cover. You wouldn't catch Cole calling that.

And he sounded utterly digusted when Mastiff won.

Somebody do something to get JR back on WWE TV. If it means murdering Vince then fine.

[Lewis]

JR could get a snuff video over. I wonder how much they're paying him.

[Ian]

Hah, that backstage bit's amazing and immensely British,.

Grado: "HAW! Yew! Ah've been cheatet!"

Mastiff and his mates: "WwwwaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYY!!!!!!"


JR could get a snuff video over. I wonder how much they're paying him.

Heyman said JR is the best on the mic ever. On the basis that some twat like the Rock has to get 15 minute of promo over. JR has to get 3hrs of WWE's crap over.

And he's 100% right. JR is the best. The absolute best.

[Shindig]

Also it's just real nice to see someone calling the match instead of the story of the match.

[Ian]

Well, that;'s the thing, is it not? JR turns the former into the latter but not in a "OMG YOU MUST BE SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW!" way that Vinne Mac hollers down Maggle's ear.

I love how much they're buying into the "this show wasn't booked in advance" WWE style though.

Trevor GM: "Listen, right, here in World of Sport we're dead prestigious and that, yeah? So we're gonna have to have a Battle Roy-ALL to determine a numbah wun contedah for Dave "Dave" Mastiffff, roight? Roight.,"
*entirety of the rest of the show is geared towards the Battle Royale."

[Lewis]

How many you had tonight, Webly?

[wullie]

That Dave Mastiff is fascinating, he's the closest I've seen to a perfectly spherical human.

[Ian]

How many you had tonight, Webly?

Not enough to think that Stone Cold Davey Boy British Bulldog Jr. Smith's knees to the gut are as exciting as JR wants me to think they are.

[Disco]

It was odd to watch, it was so obviously an ITV studio audience rather than a paying crowd that I kept expecting Vernon Kaye to be presenting it.

Who else spotted Adam Parmesan in the audience?

[Browning]

Did Big Daddy win?

[Shindig]

Lol, his career ended when he fell on someone.

[wullie]

http://i.imgur.com/jeWY0ue.jpg

Big Show's going to be competing in the cruiserweight division at this rate.

[Shindig]

He hasn't looked like that in 20 years. :|

[Browning]

Strowman is absolutely abysmal in the ring and needs to be cut, not even sent back to NXT. He offers nothing and that Last Man Standing match was wank. If Cole was even semi honest he'd have had to call spots like "OH MY GOD!!!! STROWMAN JUST..... lightly rolled him on to some contrainers!"

[Queenslander]

Samoa Joe should be in his role if they want a monster heal.

[Queenslander]

I'm desperate for a good Wrestle Kingdom stream if anyone would be kind enough to send me one?

[Browning]

That's the first time I've seen Jack Gallagher on that RAW recap, but he's already the best wrestler on the roster today. At least until Hogan comes back at Mania.

[wullie]

Strowman's got too kind a face to be a threatening monster, the entrance music RRRROOOOOOARGH bit is more funny than foreboding.

[Smiffy]

I like him purely because at least the WWE are attempting to develop a character with him and he's a bit of a unit.

[Disco]

That's the first time I've seen Jack Gallagher on that RAW recap, but he's already the best wrestler on the roster today. At least until Hogan comes back at Mania.

I'll try and find the video later but he does the best suicide dive I've seen in a while.

[7om]

I really liked Strowman from the bits I've seen of him. It's about time they started pushing these circus show freaks because that's what wrestling is for me. Him destroying that jumped-up cab driver makes it even sweeter.

[Disco]

M7Aagob

[Browning]

I'd seen that before (on here I think) but didn't realise it was him. What a legend.

[bruhnaldo]

I'm desperate for a good Wrestle Kingdom stream if anyone would be kind enough to send me one?

I'm pretty sure it's in like 12 hours from right now, it being 2:30pm EST here on the east coast of Florida (NY time)

[Baz]

I'm pretty sure it's in like 12 hours from right now, it being 2:30pm EST here on the east coast of Florida (NY time)

Is it any good?

tl;dr (http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/790141-a-beginners-guide-to-njpw-wrestle-kingdom-11-everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-wrestlers-matches-championships-stories)

[bruhnaldo]

On another forum I go to ppl are pretty hyped up for it. Some say it's much better than WWE. Personally I've never watched it or gave a fuck about NJPW but I'm trying to open up my horizons.

It's supposed to be the "SUPER BOWL OF JAPAN" so it must be pretty good, right?

I'll probably watch a replay but Queenslander might very well be lined up for a primetime viewing slot.

I would search "reddit wrestling streams" if one were so inclined, or just sign up for NJPW for 8.99$ for the month.

[Ian]

If they're gonna have people who aren't much cop on the roster (and they are, because they don't have enough people) at least Strowman offers something other than bog standard wrestling with the odd suicide dive in. I didn't mind the last man standing match even if it was mostly Zayn doing the work and trying his damndest to make Strowman look like a million dollars.

I laughed too much at Jericho tonight. "And then you're gonna put me in that cage and LOCK ME IN, MAAAAAAAAAAAN." What a guy.


Strowman's got too kind a face to be a threatening monster, the entrance music RRRROOOOOOARGH bit is more funny than foreboding.

He's apparently very likeable and funny in interviews and podcasts and stuff.

[wullie]

It's a shame he hasn't found the right woman yet

https://out.reddit.com/t3_5lr35x?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.reddituploads.com%2F 9cc49849857a48fd81a79f117333277e%3Ffit%3Dmax%26h%3 D1536%26w%3D1536%26s%3Dcd50b91f5acf2fbdee8afbd2367 51ba1&token=AQAAbzVsWOzR9IeaR-B6o_2OFevQsj1lWeApmna9QhizmyerjrO6&app_name=reddit.com

[Queenslander]

New Japan is much much better than the WWE at the moment. I've been watching it since Kenny Omega won the G1 which started long binges of previous matches.

[Queenslander]

Prince Devitt
https://youtu.be/oFY24KX13Rk
Kenny Omega winning G1
https://youtu.be/ACNilWqVTnI
Elite v Okada + 2 others
https://youtu.be/xcgozCq8IhY

Nakamura v Aj Styles
https://youtu.be/r_qu5V0j7sw
Nakamura v Kita Ibushi
https://youtu.be/oYoRfzKTrfI

Might just be me but the WWE as it is currently is pretty boring after watching these type of matches.

Watch these matches if anyone wants an idea of what to expect at Wrestle Kingdom.

[Queenslander]

On another forum I go to ppl are pretty hyped up for it. Some say it's much better than WWE. Personally I've never watched it or gave a fuck about NJPW but I'm trying to open up my horizons.

It's supposed to be the "SUPER BOWL OF JAPAN" so it must be pretty good, right?

I'll probably watch a replay but Queenslander might very well be lined up for a primetime viewing slot.

I would search "reddit wrestling streams" if one were so inclined, or just sign up for NJPW for 8.99$ for the month.

Yeah Japan lines up perfectly to the East Coast.

Fuck it I'm just going to buy it like an adult.

[Browning]

My problem with Strowman is he's built as a monster heel but most of the moves he did in the Last Man Standing match didn't look like they'd hurt at all. He literally rolled Zayn onto the top of some crates and Cole acted like he'd caved his head in with an axe. He just seems so limited. I'm sure they could find many people to play the role better.

[Ian]

I would agree that until the slams near the end there wasn't much that should have had Zayn looking as fucked as he did. Strowman actually looked nastier in their previous match.

But then Zayn normally sells like he's on his last legs after the first bump of most matches so that's no huge surprise either.

[Queenslander]

Apparently wanting to watch wrestling instead of spending time with HER is childish... Dammit now I have to wait for a replay.

[wullie]

If Baron Corbin had a bit more beef about him he'd be the absolute best. Proper dickhead heel too, he's one of my fave five. Sop it up with a biscuit

[Queenslander]

Strowman just isn't credible in anyway at the top of the card.

[wullie]

He's meant to be one of the tips for the Rumble which would continue the run of the winner being universally approved. I'd rather they hold off and let him build up a bit more naturally, give him the win in the Andre battle royal and go from there.

[Browning]

Jericho should win the rumble and then Owens should try and convince him to go to Smackdown. I figured that was a pretty "out there" pick when everyone I spoke to was picking Goldberg, Lesnar or Balor but seemingly Jericho is right up there with the bookies.

[Disco]

He's supposed to be off on tour with his band this year.

[bruhnaldo]

I woke up for work right when the main event for WK went off.

Best match I've seen in ages.

[Browning]

He's supposed to be off on tour with his band this year.

Indeed, but I fully expect him to face KO at Mania one way or another before he does that.

[Ian]

God I'm bored of Ambrose.

If he even had one move that looked like he was trying these days it might help.

I do like Baron Corbin though.

[Lewis]

Who else was it that said Dea Nambrose was crap years ago? The default assumption is Browning, so until somebody comes forward we're dons.

[Queenslander]

Only seen a few highlights so far but it looks like New Japan has already put on the show of the year.

[Pleb]

Jericho should win the rumble and then Owens should try and convince him to go to Smackdown. I figured that was a pretty "out there" pick when everyone I spoke to was picking Goldberg, Lesnar or Balor but seemingly Jericho is right up there with the bookies.
I hear Kurt Angle isn't taking any Indie bookings?

If so pump your house on him making Mania facing Taker just for the lolz.

[Lewis]

Isn't Don Cena turning heel against 'Taker this year to retain his belt?

[Disco]

Tangle coming back would be immense, I'd watch again.

[Pleb]

Isn't Don Cena turning heel against 'Taker this year to retain his belt?
You have a valid point.

Angle to face Brock at Mania then unless Goldberg isn't busy?

[Queenslander]

Isn't Don Cena turning heel against 'Taker this year to retain his belt?

Cena does a lot of make a wish stuff so any heal turn would have to be short apparently.

[Queenslander]

Nakamura will definitely be at the top of the card somewhere. Hopefully in the IC match.

Edit: definitely as in my fantasy booking.

[Pleb]

Samoa Joe surely a lock for the NXT spot in the Rumble?

[Queenslander]

You would have to think with him ending up on Smackdown.


Hopefully Bobby Roode wins the title at the next Takeover.

[Pleb]

...or the Andre Battle Royale.

Both would make sense.

[Ian]

They need to get Tonga Jeff in pronto.


Who else was it that said Dea Nambrose was crap years ago? The default assumption is Browning, so until somebody comes forward we're dons.

I didn't like him much when I first started watching again but wouldn't have been very vocal about it. I think started to like him a bit during some of the Rollins stuff and roughly between November '15 to Wrestlemania until Brock lolled him out of the building. Then I started to get bored of him and his rubbish moveset and crap face again.

[Browning]

It was probably me. :D

I found it funny that What Culture had him in I think 4 of their Top 10 "Worst PPV matches of 2016". He really is over rated.

[Lewis]

Originally I thought Roman Reigns would get a mega push, Nambrose would be in that Dolph Ziggler sort of spot, and that Seth Rollin[g]s would be stuck feuding with Big Show and Kofi Kingston for the rest of time. Two out of three, then; but we donned it with Bray Wyatt, and I'm well on my way to Sami Zayn doing nothing.

[Browning]

There are still so many people in denial about Bray Wyatt. They were wanking over him when literally all he had done was sit in a rocking chair, and they still won't admit he's awful.

[Queenslander]

https://youtu.be/S9DCOYq91PY

Really solid match by Cody at WK.

Naito v Tanahashi is quality https://youtu.be/c2Zs7tn7F3Q

[Queenslander]

I woke up for work right when the main event for WK went off.

Best match I've seen in ages.

Both of them are so much better than anything in the WWE at the moment!

Edit: not including AJ.

[Queenslander]

https://youtu.be/WYOei6u_q4Q

Go to 40 minutes for Okada v Kenny Omega

[7om]

Thanks for the links. I might give them a watch tonight as I heard Omega put on a great show.

[Ian]

My mate agreed with the Tanahashi/Okada hype (I've still yet to watch that match) but said that Okada/Omega is even better.

I have All Star Weekend on loan from him too which has a couple of Omega matches, so I really need to get on it.

[Jeet]

My mate agreed with the Tanahashi/Okada hype (I've still yet to watch that match) but said that Okada/Omega is even better.

I have All Star Weekend on loan from him too which has a couple of Omega matches, so I really need to get on it.

First match to ever get 6 stars from David Meltzer

[Queenslander]

My mate agreed with the Tanahashi/Okada hype (I've still yet to watch that match) but said that Okada/Omega is even better.

I have All Star Weekend on loan from him too which has a couple of Omega matches, so I really need to get on it.

It's just perfect story telling.

All Star wrestling is on FITE and a keep meaning to buy it. JR's FITE app is pretty handy for ROH tapings and their PPV's.

[Queenslander]

https://youtu.be/VlNXKs-D_xc

Wrestle Kingdom 11

[Ian]

I think I'll watch Okada/Tanahashi tonight.

This afternoon I have already watched some PWG and I can't decide if I hate the Young Bucks or not.

NXT Takeover: Brooklyn II next as I've been meaning to watch it since the initial good reviews.

[Lewis]

Isn't Don Cena turning heel against 'Taker this year to retain his belt?

He's back for the Rumble, so if they use it to set up a match against Boring Snowman then lol.

[Disco]

He's going to be in the Rumble itself isn't he? Seems a bit of an odd choice as if he wins it then he gets a title match, which he can't sensibly win.

[Ian]

Stephanie is absolute AIDs. "Everything you've done will be meainingless if you don't get a wrestler who isn't on our brand to appear!"

Bit wank again in general but at least it wasn't another one of the ones they love on Raw just now where the card is basically the exact same as the previous week but with some slightly different talky bits.

Hopefully Jericho does some good stuff with the US title after weeks of Reigns barely seeming to remember he's meant to be proud to have it.

[igor_balis]

Might watch the rumble with some mates. The surprise entrants are the best part of the wrestling calendar, especially the ones who were never stars in the first place cus they're especially unexpected. Hoping for D-Lo.

[Baz]

https://youtu.be/VlNXKs-D_xc

Wrestle Kingdom 11

It's gone.

If someone could provide a link to the Kenny Omega match (I'd look but don't want it spoiling) I'd be very appreciative. Heard very positive things about it.

[Ian]

Might watch the rumble with some mates. The surprise entrants are the best part of the wrestling calendar, especially the ones who were never stars in the first place cus they're especially unexpected. Hoping for D-Lo.

I've been trying to decide whether I'll bother staying up for it if I move to these shifts that'd let me take the Monday off. There are enough good options for a winner that it feels inevitable WWE will pick a shitter.

Also, the Straw Boatman / Rollins match on Raw was, very broadly speaking, how I'd have booked Lesnar/Rollins in 2015(?)

[Queenslander]

It's gone.

If someone could provide a link to the Kenny Omega match (I'd look but don't want it spoiling) I'd be very appreciative. Heard very positive things about it.


Full wrestle kingdom
https://youtu.be/diYvtX7Ix5o

Watch the last two matches because they are both amazing.

Start at 3 hours and 55 minutes.

[SvN]

Has there ever been a better debut than Jericho?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGsBRImD0po

[7om]

This promo was prophetic. It describes modern day WWE perfectly.

[wullie]

Bischoff turning up Raw was pretty ace just because it seemed to catch absolutely everyone out. Can't remember too many times that's happened.

[SvN]

The Dudley Boyz returning in 2015 came out of absolutely nowhere, as did Sting returning on the same show.

I might (definitely) be biased because I was there, but I reckon that's the best Raw of the last 5 years or so.

[Lewis]

They blew the Eric Bischoff thing with the Booker T meeting. Had Vince McMahon just introduced him at the end it would have been incredible.

[Disco]

Has there ever been a better debut than Jericho?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGsBRImD0po

Kane turning up and ripping the cage door off was pretty great.

[Ian]

The problem with half the debuts/returns is that so many people know in advance. Of course with the WCW lot the way they were introduced was generally the least of the problem.

Shane's return was quite good, even if everything other than him toppling off the cell has been utter shit.

Did enjoy the Dudleyz returning too.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAQo3YflZh4

Right at the start of their mega-reign as well.

[Disco]

The utter nadir of ruined returns was when the entire crowd was chanting for Lesnar, so much so that Big Match John had to reference it in his promo before the 'surprise' return of Bork.

[Lewis]

The best ruined return was when Bret Hart came back to host Raw. Even if it was billed in advance, there was a mega pop to be had with his music kicking the programme off, but they had that idiot announcer welcome him.

[Disco]

That reminds of when Shawn Michaels played his music during a promo just to mess with the crowd. Suckers bought it too.

[Disco]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7DOcHRgQMo

[SvN]

Nuclear heat. HBK really was an amazing heel.

[Lewis]

My friend had the great idea (after the event the useless cunt) that they should have done that with Daniel Bryan's music in that Royal Rumble Batista won, but then have Bad News Barrett come out and lol at everyone. There must have been about a million great opportunities to do it with the CM Punk music recently as well.

[Ian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7DOcHRgQMo

I only watched that relatively recently. Absolutely brilliant.

[SvN]

My friend had the great idea (after the event the useless cunt) that they should have done that with Daniel Bryan's music in that Royal Rumble Batista won, but then have Bad News Barrett come out and lol at everyone. There must have been about a million great opportunities to do it with the CM Punk music recently as well.

An idea I saw on reddit recently was that Miz came out at number 30 at the Rumble with Daniel Bryan's music, YESing his way down to the ring.

[Shindig]

JBL proclaiming they had a WCW tile reign kinda ruins the moment for the Dudleyz.

[Baz]

Full wrestle kingdom
https://youtu.be/diYvtX7Ix5o

Watch the last two matches because they are both amazing.

Start at 3 hours and 55 minutes.Watched the last one. Holy shit! Absolutely awesome.

This was astonishing:

816617326531510272

:hail:


Commentary was absolutely diabolical though.

Not as diabolical as this video of Perry Saturn though, jeez: https://www.facebook.com/perrysaturn/videos/1165305306918391/

[Shindig]

How is his neck still... his neck?

[Queenslander]

The Dragon suplex off the top was the most outrageous spot.

[Shindig]

Damn, Perry. Damn. :(

[Ian]

I thought he was past all that and doing better now. Somehow had a series of events before where he got shot stopping a woman from being raped to being a homeless meth addict.

Are the rest of the Radicalz Malenko's picture of Dorian Gray? Is he living in a beach mansion somewhere looking younger by the day?

[Shindig]

Perry's the only one still alive. :(

[Ian]

Exactly. Christ knows what happens if he goes. Did Malenko ever dance with Too Cool?

[Ian]

UK tournament coverage just starting.

I think I quite like that belt.

[Ian]

I'd be surprised if that interviewer girl understood half of what "Tyson T-Bone" just said to her there.

[Ian]

It's not the Blue Peter Pin, Cole, you dickhead.

[Trancemeister]

Jimmy Snuka has died

[Ian]

That's one way to get out of a murder trial.

[Ian]

The CWC match quality was generally better than the UK tournament but the booking of this as a coherent thing, because it was over two nights, was stronger.

And the second night of matches was a big improvement. A few really enjoyable matches tonight.

The fucking height of Bate even next to Balor, a midget by WWE standards, is hilarious though.

[wullie]

Finn Balor really shouldn't be allowed to cut a promo.

[Jeet]

The CWC match quality was generally better than the UK tournament but the booking of this as a coherent thing, because it was over two nights, was stronger.

And the second night of matches was a big improvement. A few really enjoyable matches tonight.

The fucking height of Bate even next to Balor, a midget by WWE standards, is hilarious though.

Looks like a tall midget :D Local lad though, few of my mates know him.

Anyway, nice to see him doing well after Hale and Pace

http://www.pamandkateslist.8k.com/images/haleandpace.jpg

[Waffdon]

Kurt Angle in the HOF :cool:

*milf gif*

[wullie]

No. 30 in the Rumble, come on.

[Ian]

Kur Tangle. :cool:

[Disco]

I'd love him to have one more run.

[bruhnaldo]

I'll still maintain them not figuring out a way to get him back to stop Rusev at the peak of his powers was the worst thing they've done in the past 5 years.

[Disco]

In other news, What Culture had another Ospreay / Ricochet match earlier. Pretty good, definitely worth a watch.

[Ian]

I've still never seen the original one.