August football thread: Football is back (already)

[Kikó]

With the football never stopping (look at the ball), we enter the restart of the real football rather than the friendly bollocks and whatever Olympics football classes as.

The 10th of August brings the serial kick off time waster cheats play the recent Snapdragon cup winners in a winner takes all clash at Wembley (assuming martial law isn't imposed due to Tommy and the EDL).

One week later we have the start of the BPLSBB which sees all the teams play each other in different combinations.

Let's go. (Miss you Ian)

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I don't acknowledge this unofficial football thread.

[Manc]

Pathetic.

[Kikó]

Close the thread.

[Magic]

https://i.imgflip.com/4/ere3z.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

I want to know about this City kickoff stuff. In detail. The season can't start until I do.

Doing it enough times to be fined £2 million?

[Shindig]

I don't even get why you'd do it? "Lads, if we start the second half later, we'll know the Arsenal result 90 seconds before we wrap up." It's betting syndicates, isn't it?

[niko_cee]

I want to know about this City kickoff stuff. In detail. The season can't start until I do.

Doing it enough times to be fined £2 million?

It is fascinating isn't it? There must be some angle.

The actual document (https://resources.premierleague.com/premierleague/document/2024/07/31/103f64fe-b12a-4044-ae05-fbddee52070e/Sanction-agreement-between-the-Premier-League-and-Manchester-City-FC.pdf) is intriguing.

Never knew judges titled themselves HH. Probably should have done. Then you have the absolute opposites in handwriting from someone who writes their name as if it is a signature compared to Michael Kaltz BSC, FCA, CTA, LLM, who appears to have all caps child's writing, without even getting into who puts all those fucking letters after their name.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The only pattern I can see there is that they're quite tilted towards August and April/May, i.e. the warmer months, is there some extra recovery stuff that a heavily pressing-based team would want to do when it's a little bit warmer?

Could just be Pep waffling on like the oddball he is.

[John Arne]

Given Pep's weirdness and the Man City hierarchy it could just be a power trip... 'We leave when we are ready, we are in control'. Also, lol at $2m fine... what's that, a month's salary for KDB?

[Ben]

Man City have been fined for this kickoff thing in past seasons too. Just not as much as this time.

[niko_cee]

Carsley on an interim basis for England? Heard this one before. G Potts has obviously played his cards wrong here, or is holding out for some cash from Chelsea or something equally ridiculous.

Binman until Jürgen is back on the market?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I heard binman until Pep is on the market.

[Ben]

Then they'll back out of Pep because Carsley did so well beating Moldova B and Lithuania in early qualifying (read: they want a Yes Man but without the immediate backlash of fans).

[Kikó]

Thanks Niko for bringing this thread back.

Carsley is supposed to be very highly rated for what it's worth and night be a perfect England bin man.

[Luke Emia]

Thanks Niko for bringing this thread back.

Carsley is supposed to be very highly rated for what it's worth and night be a perfect England bin man.

Isn’t he Irish? Can’t even get our own bin men nowadays.

[Giggles]

Isn’t he Irish? Can’t even get our own bin men nowadays.

He's English, he just played for us because he was shit. But he seems to be not a shit manager so he doesn't need to bother now.

[Luke Emia]

Na, you can keep him the shit blue cunt.

[Giggles]

Na, you can keep him the shit blue cunt.

He turned down the FAI 3 times (among about 20 other people) before they had to go shopping at Iceland.

[niko_cee]

Question is can 'Carsball' survive first contact with the Foden/Bellingham conundrum and/or having to play Kyle fucking [probably literally] Walker every game?

Jones, Elliot and Gordon straight into the XI.

[Shindig]

As an U21 manager, he'll know Gordon's good enough to replace Foden out wide. Although he also played Gordon up front. :D

[phonics]

Mikel Arteta hired a bunch of pickpocketers to rob his players to 'teach them to always be ready'. The mans a genuine psychopath. I love it.

[Kikó]

Pepe has finally called it a day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pity to retire so young but he never looked the same after flopping at Arsenal.

[John Arne]

Jason Molumby banned from WBA's next 5 friendlies for smacking some Mallorca div.


https://youtu.be/4AUjapgux7g?si=YonD-TvaWXcsgAWC

[Waffdon]

Whoever decided not to put the championship and league one games tomorrow at 3pm is an absolute dickhead

[Ben]

I’m guessing it’s so Sky can televise them all due to the 3pm blackout rule.

[Lewis]

This has really crept up on me. The year has flown by.

[Shindig]

Girona well and truly gubbed 4-Nowt by Newcastle tonight. All in the first half and Isak missed a penalty. Notorious goal machines Sean Longstaff, and Jacob Murphy getting on the act. Gordon scored to push his asking price up by another £10m.

[mo]

1822005351073329432

Woof. It's back.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's back and it's all downhill from there.

[niko_cee]

Whoever decided not to put the championship and league one games tomorrow at 3pm is an absolute dickhead

I was reading about the blackout being lifted, but there being no games, but now I see the Charity Shield is this afternoon at 3, presumably on telly. Is that new?

[Shindig]

Gateshead beat Carlisle in pre-season. We might as well start buttering up the council now.

[Lofty]

Yoro out til the new year :drool:

[Manc]

Jonny Evans at the ready.

[randomlegend]

Yoro out til the new year :drool:

He's out for 3 months.

[-james-]

https://www.swfc.co.uk/news/2024/august/09/swfc-brand-protection-/


Although we cannot prevent supporters from wearing counterfeit shirts away from Hillsborough, we do respectfully request that such products are not displayed inside the stadium. Anyone found to be wearing a fake shirt inside Hillsborough could be asked to leave, with information passed on to the relevant parties.

Right crowd pleaser there

[Lewis]

He's out for 3 months.

Not unreasonable to price complications/recurrence in.

[Alex]

Thoughts on Leeds this season Magic?

I'm cautiously optimistic. I think we'll be in the mixer again, for sure.

Losing Archie Gray was a bit of a blow, as was Summerville. Although the latter was very much expected to be honest. I do think Championship defenders would have had his number (or just physically kicked the shit out of him) a bit more this season anyway though. I think we've still got a squad to compete at the top end and we got fair money for both sales, so there's scope for a bit more investment hopefully yet as well.

Obviously this post is probably now destined precede Portsmouth hammering us at home opening day.

[Magic]

Thoughts on Leeds this season Magic?

I'm cautiously optimistic. I think we'll be in the mixer again, for sure.

Losing Archie Gray was a bit of a blow, as was Summerville. Although the latter was very much expected to be honest. I do think Championship defenders would have had his number (or just physically kicked the shit out of him) a bit more this season anyway though. I think we've still got a squad to compete at the top end and we got fair money for both sales, so there's scope for a bit more investment hopefully yet as well.

Obviously this post is probably now destined precede Portsmouth hammering us at home opening day.

We've hit the bar three times in the first 6 minutes lol. And now a penalty.

Look crazy good.

Edit: Meslier. Fuck off.

[John Arne]

Only just clocked that we are playing Seville and Las Palmas tomorrow, consecutively. Interesting.

[Dan]

We've hit the bar three times in the first 6 minutes lol. And now a penalty.

Look crazy good.

Edit: Meslier. Fuck off.

Seems like you’re going to win this one eventually, but it’s at least encouraging for us that we’ve scored a couple. Definitely still got concerns about some of the players we’re having to start, but hopefully some PL loans & a couple of proper signings are on the way to help us out.

[Dan]

Oh. My. God

[Dan]

Nice while it lasted.

[Baz]

Only just clocked that we are playing Seville and Las Palmas tomorrow, consecutively. Interesting.

Robertson’s back too. :drool:

[Lewis]

'Pep' getting his theatrical telling offs in early doors. 'Amad' has looked good.

[Luke Emia]

Probably wouldn’t have had Sancho on one.

[Lewis]

Not to sound like my mother, but how does a professional footballer spoon it over like that? Blasting it over is one thing, but that looked like the first time he has ever kicked a ball.

[Shindig]

Time for your first Gateshead update of the new season.

Gateshead 5-1 Ebbsfleet. Top of the league. Captain Greg Olley with a hat-trick.

[Gray Fox]

I'm relieved this is just a friendly again.

[Danny]

ITV really trying to make it matter

[John Arne]

Hello Jota.

1822605019130085506

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rooney's first game at Plymouth is a 4-0 defeat to Sheffield Wednesday. At some point there is going to have to be some accountability for all these people who keep giving him managerial jobs.

[phonics]

While I would love to dig him out, why is a crap team that spent 4.5 million quid beating another crap team that spent 450 grand with 2 goals coming in the last 10 minutes a massive enditement.

Portsmouth haven't been in the league for 12 years and took Leeds to the brink, does that mean whoevers in charge there should also be sacked?

I may be slightly biased by the job he did at Derby and the fact that Liam Roseniors been a massive success might be a classic case of the brains being in the backroom but I think it's a bit harsh.

[wullie]

We gave Everton a bit of a drubbing and were narrowly edged by Werder Bremen in our last pre-season games so we've gone into a season with rare optimism and of course lost 1-0 late on at Stoke.

[niko_cee]

Someone needs to intervene over Rooney's hair. Is he not allowed to cut the bit that's been grafted on?

[randomlegend]

Luke Shaw's apparently done one training session after coming back from the Euros and is out for 3 weeks.

Giving Reece James a run for his money at this point.

[niko_cee]

He must be due a testimonial soon.

[wullie]

Just beat Bristol City to win our first league cup match in around 35 years. The Sky Sports+ thing is good that you can fritter between 30 matches all going on at the same time but the production quality is about what you'd expect when you're stretching it out over 30 matches all going on at the same time.

[Manc]

Smart from Jose to bottle UCL qualification. Europa league trophy in the bag.

[Lewis]

He must be due a testimonial soon.

This season would be his testimonial year. He appears to have averaged nineteen league games per season, and he's contracted until 2027. Shit.

[Shindig]

Testimonials are all but a dead practice, right? Newcastle haven't had one for a decade.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Testimonials were designed as a big old whip-round, which isn't really the thing when everyone's on six figures a week.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Referee's call is here :cool:

You can stay with your original decision, Tayls, you're on screen now.

[Ben]

Can't see Farke lasting much longer at Leeds.

[phonics]

1823744249826803893

After what time the interviewer had used the phrase 'good looking' do you think he began to regret where his question was going.

[niko_cee]

Blocking at set pieces to be more stringently policed by VAR? That'll be lol and not at all a complete clusterfuck, and RIP Arsenal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ckgw1grdppzo

This guy must be the biggest idiot in football.

[Baz]

They’ve got Archie Gray and Sarr, they’ll be fine.

[Waffdon]

Penalties in this ajax game have been on for over 20 mins :D

[Waffdon]

Ajax have just missed for the 4th time in sudden death to win it. This is amazing

They finally win 13-12 after 17 pens

[Manc]

Top effort from Brobbey to miss both efforts.

[Waffdon]

His first one is arguably the worst penalty you’ll ever see

[Jimmy Floyd]

I didn't realise we had to play a qualifying round to get into the Conference League. Servette! Absolutely superb St Gallen vibes.

[John Arne]

Ice Cream Van Stand :) #MassiveClub

1824354538146447576

[John Arne]

La Liga apparently working on playing the December Barcelona v Atletico Madrid game in... Miami.

Farmers league.

[Ben]

New ref stuff this season. Can't see any of this being an issue.

- Semi-automated offsides will be introduced but won't start until AFTER the international break in September, October or even November.
- Only the captain can speak to the referee. Any other player will be automatically carded if they confront officials.
- VAR officials will not get involved in subjective decisions: only CLEAR and OBVIOUS errors will be looked at.
- No mid-season/Christmas break for the players
- There is a new Premier League Match Centre social-media account that will communicate the facts regarding VAR decisions.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That only the captain speaking to the referee stuff is unenforceable guff. Football is a working class sport, players will never ever respect the referee now matter how good the ref is or no matter how hard you try.

Also looking forward to Objective Stuart Attwell deciding which subjective decisions he should not get involved in.

[niko_cee]

Handballs are going to be less punitive as well, and you also won't be auto-booked for an unintentional handball leading to a penalty, although that throws up other questions in and of itself.

[Manc]

United might want to give the armband to someone else in that case.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Could you in theory just rotate the armband during the game so that everyone can have a crack in turn?

[Lofty]

Just googled Olympic Football 2024 Final to check something and for some reason google defaulted to showing me the women's first, which doesnt make sense as surely you'd do it alphabetically?

[Pepe]

- VAR officials will not get involved in subjective decisions: only CLEAR and OBVIOUS errors will be looked at.

Sure.

[Pepe]

Just googled Olympic Football 2024 Final to check something and for some reason google defaulted to showing me the women's first, which doesnt make sense as surely you'd do it alphabetically?

We all know what's going on.

With that said, that must be the biggest women's tournament, while no one gives a fuck about the men's one.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Probably because God's United States won gold and it therefore got googled more times.

[Gray Fox]

Is this another example of USWNT being SHOVED DOWN OUR THROATS?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It is quite funny how Sky meticulously airbrush Dick Keys and Andy Gray out of all their historical coverage montages now.

[Giggles]

I’d be the first top say woke gone mad, but you can’t be at that shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They were 100% saying that kind of stuff all along, but at a certain point they became too expensive and that's why Sky found a way to get rid.

As such have little sympathy for the video touchers of today.

[Manc]

When was the last time Fulham won at OT?

[Gray Fox]

Quite literally the last time they went there.

Silva has also yet to lose an opening day fixture as a manager.

[thommo]

2-1 in February, Iwobi with a 97th minute winner.

Good value for it too. I'm expecting at least a draw tonight.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Traore v Dalot battle straight from the prison showers.

[Gray Fox]

United needing to advertise for a new club Butcher after that one.

[Manc]

Muniz is such a baller.

[Waffdon]

Ten Haag ball is hilarious. Just sit deep and pray you do something on the counter

[Waffdon]

Have Man Utd bought a midfielder yet? Sure there’s a Dutch boy kicking about somewhere

[Gray Fox]

Yeah this is dire from them. I get your new signings aren't all in yet but nothing has changed at all in terms of playstyle.

[Lewis]

There must be some eighteen year old in the system who could at least loiter around up front and hold the ball up a bit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All of United's three decent chances have come directly from Leno and/or the lumbering Bassey trying to play it out of the back like they're Victor Valdes and Pique.

[Waffdon]

Maguire :lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Quite like the VAR if it actually ends up working like this. Ref makes the call, up it goes to Jared Gillett (the best a man can fillet), and if it's not a complete injustice he just says on ya cobber and the game goes on. Spontaneity restored in part.

Whether this will survive first contact with some of the other idiots on the VAR panel, who knows.

[Manc]

There must be some eighteen year old in the system who could at least loiter around up front and hold the ball up a bit.

Casemiro could do a job.

[Dquincy]

Man United look alright. Fulham...do not. Weird United line up though.

Fulham miss that midfielder who went to Bayern. Smith rowe is good but they don't look great as a team.

[Gray Fox]

A lot of heavy legs on show already. This has more the feel of a pre-season game at the minute.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is quite a funny example of literally all 22 players being well off the pace, so pretty much every tackle is late and every pass misplaced.

Mount looked like he was coming off a 90-game season.

[Waffdon]

Casemiro goal in last ten mins all over this.

Referee hates an advantage

[Yevrah]

Quite like the VAR if it actually ends up working like this. Ref makes the call, up it goes to Jared Gillett (the best a man can fillet), and if it's not a complete injustice he just says on ya cobber and the game goes on. Spontaneity restored in part.

Whether this will survive first contact with some of the other idiots on the VAR panel, who knows.

It'll revert back to the norm soon enough and goals will be disallowed for testicles being offside again.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We are fucking MASSIVE.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:lol:

Fucking hell.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Garnacho is a real curious case. Like a sort of half-being, exploring the very darkest regions of the netherworld that exists between humanity and the rodents, never quite falling on one side or the other.

Fulham very wasteful with the positions they got themselves into. Pereira desperately poor.

Managers: play a striker. You score more goals and win more games. If you don't do this you are a bad manager, trying too hard.

[Dark Soldier]

Top of the league :drool:

[thommo]

Frustrating start to the season, we've thrown that point away. We look sharp in transition, get up the field well and carry the ball quickly into good positions but making that final pass/decision just wasn't there today.

Muniz looked good again though, some nice link-up play. The improvement in the past 12 months is really something.

[phonics]

I've always had a soft spot for Fulhams general inoffensiveness but now they have Iwobi and Smith-Rowe. I let out an audible grown at the move around the 70th minute where (I think it was) Muniz didn't make that final pass, got tackled and then passed it off to Iwboi when he was offside.

[thommo]

It was Pereira who ballsed that up but yes, that was the most egregious example. I was fuming at that initial attempt of a through ball, he ended up just scuffing it straight at Maguire.

[niko_cee]

Ten Haag ball is hilarious. Just sit deep and pray you do something on the counter

Not necessarily the worst strategy when you have


Leno and/or the lumbering Bassey trying to play it out of the back like they're Victor Valdes and Pique.

Pretty much the way Arsenal have ascended to the top of the league in the last few years. Keep it tight and let "modern football" do the work for you.

No idea how Slotball will manage first contact with the passion of Ed Sheeran / the ghost of Bobby Robson / Marcus Stewart montages at lunchtime. Probably badly. Szmodics debut goal inbound.

[wullie]

Absolutely battered Oxford last night, but also threw a few goals their way and didn't score the winner until the 96th minute so the 3-2 win was really put on for the cameras.

[Dan]

As a Pompey fan who’s about to go watch them get smashed by Luton, that Cov winner was very much appreciated.

[niko_cee]

Ipswich fielding some famous names from history today. J Greaves and C Chaplin.

[Gray Fox]

Actually looking forward to this.

I'm hoping the injection of a more possession based approach gives that edge to more consistently take the front foot in games, rather than 'oh no the other team scored first again, time for a stressful comeback win.'

Saying that, under Rodgers it all got a bit possession for the sake of it and it turned proper shite, so we'll see.

[John Arne]

Odds on Jota getting his customary goal + injury...

[John Arne]

We just took a throw in a good 30yrds away from where it went out, and the ref let it go.

[John Arne]

On what planet is that not a second yellow card? The most obviously deliberate handball you'll see. Isn't that what VAR is for?

[Gray Fox]

VAR cant give yellows(unless it's downgrading a red) IIRC.

Jenas is onto something with the pitch. It's really not helping either team. Showed most on that Ipswich break away. Sprinklers on max please lads. Oh and get me Harvey Elliott and Darwin Nunez STAT.

[Manc]

WBA v Leeds is a painful watch.

[John Arne]

We need to get Elliot on pretty sharpish. Midfield too flat.

[Gray Fox]

Just clocked no Goe Jomez on the bench. Twitter tells me he's made himself unavailable in case of transfer offer. Wonderful stuff.

Doak, Bajcetic and Morton not involved in either the senior or youth squads so they're all likely off too.

[Gray Fox]

LB with a very confusing attempt at defending for the goal.

[Gray Fox]

Another one to the "Only Mo Salah...." category.

What a player.

[Mike]

We looked much better in the second half there.

[Gray Fox]

Yeah I very much like what I saw after about the 50th minute. Lots of incisive passing through the midfield and forwards. You can tell Diaz, Alexis, Salah etc dont quite have their sharpness yet.

Good to see Gravenberch with a good showing too.

[Luke Emia]

Yeah I didn’t see much of the game but from what I saw of Gravenberch he looked very good. Maybe as one of two sitting he could work.

[phonics]

Prime Artetaball masterclass this (quite boring, goal from a header, arsenal winning)

[Shindig]

You'd think footballers would've learned by now not to nudge their heads together.

[John Arne]

Crewe 0-5 down at home :/

[Shindig]

Meanwhile Gateshead game was mysteriously suspended for a bit. It's resumed now with a Woking player sent off.

[phonics]

Prime Artetaball masterclass this (quite boring, goal from a header, arsenal winning)

Prime Artetaball masterclass this. (Absolutely nothing happens for 25 minutes and then Saka cuts in and whollops it in the back of the net, arsenal win)

[Gray Fox]

Ashley Young becoming the oldest red card in PL history. Anti-Nominative determinism?

[niko_cee]

Brighton going top. :cool:

Pretty dull opening day/round so far.

[John Arne]

Everton :D

[niko_cee]

Drink in the seethe. :drool:

[Luke Emia]

lol West Ham.

[Shindig]

Full time from wherever the hell Woking play their games: Woking 0-2 Gateshead. Top of the pile still.

[Waffdon]

Decent attack from Marseille. A rapist, a murderer and a guy who gets school kids to masterbate in front of him

[Gray Fox]

Can't believe the West Ham title charge only lasted 4 minutes.

[Dquincy]

Meanwhile Gateshead game was mysteriously suspended for a bit. It's resumed now with a Woking player sent off.

Fella's leg got snapped in half by all accounts following a dirty challenge by a Woking player. Ambulance on the pitch and took the players off.

That Danilo one didn't look too nice either, poor bugger.

[Shindig]

It was Greg Olley (our captain who scored a hat-trick last weekend) who was knackered. He's gonna be a big miss. :(

[randomlegend]

Decent attack from Marseille. A rapist, a murderer and a guy who gets school kids to masterbate in front of him

5-1 win though.

[Waffdon]

Forgot De Zerbi was there. Makes sense, definitely on the register somewhere

[niko_cee]

lol at that Newcastle goal.

When are these idiots going to learn?

[Waffdon]

Prime Martin ball. 78% possession :D

[Gray Fox]

I have just seen that Slot hooked Quansah for tactical reasons. He even told him we can't keep control because you keep losing your duels, so I'm putting Konate on.

A bit of a change from the Klopp style of you criticize me, not my players. I quite like it. Very much feeling like he's not trying to continue on what we had before and is doing it his way.

[igor_balis]

Just got back from a stag do in Aberystwyth, a fun weekend overall, but the best bit was the outrageous equaliser the Aber lad scored right in front of us in the second half.


https://youtu.be/b6C0wcDXQ28?si=rz3uJSJLCFVxV0kM

3.43 to skip ahead past some admittedly pretty low quality highlights.

Connahs Quay actually looked pretty decent, they should have absolutely battered Aberystwyth really. I wasn't surprised when I found out afterwards they were second last season (more than 30 points behind TNS), and that they're full time professionals.

Their left winger was fucking quality, seemed a million times too good for the Welsh league, so I was surprised to find out he's a 23 year old who has played almost his entire career in the league for Newtown, and was playing in Halifax, Nova Scotia last season, rather than some 18 year old recently released by a football league side.

Anyway, Lifumpa Mwandwe can do one, Aber are massive. Genuinely think Aberystwyths equaliser was one of the best ten or so goals I've ever seen IRL, and that's having seen the mighty baggies nearly a hundred times.

[Gray Fox]

Sterling left out of the squad entirely and has released a statement because of it. Barclays is back.

[Waffdon]

That’s probably Chelsea’s best possible team in terms of on paper anyway. Maybe Neto for one of the centre mids and into a 4231.

Which will make it funnier when City score 3+ here. The defence is tiny and Fofana looked like he’s never played football in all of his pre season games. Assumed baldy would have played Tosin to try negate Haaland’s physicality

[Gray Fox]

The racist playing and being captain :p

[Waffdon]

He PR’d his way out. Alexis went on record to stick up for him and act like nothing wrong was done and he’s received zero flack. Strange

[John Arne]

The racist playing and being captain :p

Just came in to say this. Bizarre.

[John Arne]

He PR’d his way out. Alexis went on record to stick up for him and act like nothing wrong was done and he’s received zero flack. Strange

Who is Alexis?

[Luke Emia]

Chelsea probably want to hope that Saudi are interested in him as can’t see anyone else taking on his salary.

Nice to see Chelsea’s resident racist is captaining the team.

[Waffdon]

Alexis Mac Allister

[Waffdon]

How are 3 Liverpool fans piling in on racism of all things :lol:

[Waffdon]

I’ll give it 8 mins before Chelsea fuck up playing out from the back and hand Haaland a tap in

[Foe]

It is a bit strange he’s the captain.

Brushed under the carpet by Chelsea. Was cavani not banned for using a word perceived as a racist responding to a friend on Instagram? Yet chanting a well received to be racist song has no punishment?

[Waffdon]

Not sure Jackson starting is smart as much as he is a don. He’s played about 20 mins of pre season and that was at walking pace

[Gray Fox]

Right then, when is The Former Leicester Manager becoming The Former Chelsea Manager?

[Luke Emia]

This midfield 3 of Chelsea but more importantly Fernandez and Caicedo just does not work.

[Waffdon]

He’s there to stay unfortunately. He’s ‘their’ man. This is ‘their’ team. Directors will just brief the journalists about patience and giving it time to work for the next 6 weeks.

Wolves and West Ham away from home in the next few weeks as well where Chelsea never win at. Should be fun

[Gray Fox]

I dunno. This one seems very Liz v Lettuce for me. Everything about the appointment seems off.

[Waffdon]

This midfield 3 of Chelsea but more importantly Fernandez and Caicedo just does not work.

You’d think managers would see how much better Fernandez is deep (Benfica and Argentina) but no they keep deciding to play his fat ass far up the pitch and fail at pressing

Would be like playing a Busquets or Rodri type far up the pitch

[Gray Fox]

Guiu? They're just making people up now.

[randomlegend]

Jackson is fucking tragic.

[Waffdon]

Can already tell Dewsbury-Hall will emulate Danny Drinkwater. So mid

[Manc]

Guiu? They're just making people up now.

Renato Veiga is 100% a regen.

[Waffdon]

Going to be a horrendous season. Boring football and embarrassing goalkeepers and defence

How the fuck do you sign so many keepers and so much money and think Robert Sanchez is good enough for a Premier League side I don’t know.

[Gray Fox]

Eventually the penny will drop that it is not the manager/head coach.

[Waffdon]

It’s on the manager for thinking he should start games even if the directors are beyond mental

[Gray Fox]

At this point I have zero doubt that Boehly also has a say in picking the team.

[Waffdon]

Boehly doesn’t even have a say in the transfers. He was used as the face of the takeover. He owns barely any of the club.

This has been the most boring game I’ve watched in a long while. Proper pre season vibes

[Gray Fox]

That's been a bit of a theme for every game I've seen. The late end to last season and the start of this not being pushed back a bit has these games coming around a bit too soon.

We'll likely be in September before anyone starts getting properly sharp.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was really hoping my game of cricket would go the distance so I didn't have to tune into any of that shite. 89 all out. Fucking wankers.

[phonics]

Have Chelsea considered buying Kovacic?

[niko_cee]

Sterling left out of the squad entirely and has released a statement because of it. Barclays is back.

:D

"There was expectation"

Where's he going to go, QPR?

£325k a week apparently. Hope they haven't given him a 10 year deal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Reminds me of the text messages I get when I drop some useless cunt from the 2s to the 3s.

[Baz]

Sterling left out of the squad entirely and has released a statement because of it. Barclays is back.

I’d love him back in a red shirt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Might have to be Leyton Orient.

[phonics]

You’d think managers would see how much better Fernandez is deep (Benfica and Argentina) but no they keep deciding to play his fat ass far up the pitch and fail at pressing

Would be like playing a Busquets or Rodri type far up the pitch

1825222187663700016

[Baz]

1824734459825918393

[Adramelch]

That's one of his best kicks in fairness, he usually just hits the wall.

[niko_cee]

What a way to bow out. A laughing stock in what appears to be a non-league level ground/crowd.

I see big Ivan Toney might be on his way out there.

[Lofty]

Surely Toney must know he has no chance of going to the World Cup if he goes out there.

[niko_cee]

He's probably not got much chance anyway given his form since returning from his ban.

Wonder if Raheem might be heading there too.

[niko_cee]

6 draws from 8 in the opening round if Serie A, 4 of them scoredraws. Il Poolsio Littlewoodsio in ruins and amidst it all Napoli managed to get absolutely gubbed. Wheels have very much come off there. Billy Gilmour to the rescue!? Someone should take a punt on getting that Georgian lad out of there.

[Shindig]

Our Carabao Cup tie is scheduled for Wednesday 28th. Tonali's first day back. :drool: Unless he bets on it.

[Lofty]

Is there anything more small time than singing songs about an ex-player who moved to your rivals before half your current team was born? :D

[niko_cee]

Leicester look very shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hotspur fans still singing about Sol Campbell. 23 years ago, lads. It's closer in time to Elvis dying than to the present day.

EDIT: Lofty beat me while I was looking up exactly when Elvis died.

[Waffdon]

Leicester look very shit.

That line up looks tragic. Maybe Maresca is a genius. They’ll be lucky to get 25 points. Jamie Vardy ffs

[Luke Emia]

Can hardly sing about when they won the league last October can they?

[Luke Emia]

Never change Spurs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I hate the word 'Spursy' but this is very Spursy.

[phonics]

Jamie Vardy ffs

It's just who we are, mate.

[Bernanke]

Just turned the game on, what's up with Bentancur?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jamie Vardy 137 Premier League goals is a fucking immense effort, you have to say. Closing in on Robin van Persie and Sheringham.

[Bernanke]

Porro can't move lol

[Shindig]

Gateshead update #3: Halifax 1 - 1 Gateshead.

Our reign at the top has been usurped by Eastleigh. 2nd for now.

[Spikey M]

Jenas has been sacked by the BBC for "inappropriate behaviour". What's he been up to then?

[Ben]

Hopefully because of this.

1825613305802797061

[Jimmy Floyd]

Homophobic attack on a penguin is what I'm hearing.

[Manc]

Jenas has been sacked by the BBC for "inappropriate behaviour". What's he been up to then?

If this results in more Big Meeks. :face:

[SvN]

That dog looks supsiciously like one of the ones on the run.

[Lofty]

Jenas been firing off dick pics to junior colleagues apparently.

[Gray Fox]

Coin coin coin coin coin.

[Yevrah]

That video is strangely hypnotic, unlike his dick pics I'd imagine.

One question though, what does he mean by only certain men will know what he means about securing the coin? Every man needs money, right?

[Shindig]

He probably means the mobile phone Ashley Cole stuck up his arse. Allegedly.

[Waffdon]

He was sacked whilst live on talksport talking about Ten Haag’s odds of being sacked by Christmas. Funny guy

[Boydy]

1826637373515714964

Lol

[Giggles]

Wasn't Edwards given a fully paid holiday by the same company for being a paedo?

[niko_cee]

What's the deal with the way the BBC are reporting line-ups (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/live/c623g3e0885t#Line-ups) now? They make it look like Badiashile is in goal for Chelsea. I assume he isn't [although can't rule it out entirely] but it's not as if they are just going with numerical order. Ah, it's alphabetical order. Odd.

[Waffdon]

That’s a premium Stoke City defence there. Everyone 6ft3+ and as agile as Andre the Giant

[Jimmy Floyd]

Imagine thinking this shitfest would be on TV. Not even on a channel I don't have.

[Baz]

What's the deal with the way the BBC are reporting line-ups (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/live/c623g3e0885t#Line-ups) now? They make it look like Badiashile is in goal for Chelsea. I assume he isn't [although can't rule it out entirely] but it's not as if they are just going with numerical order. Ah, it's alphabetical order. Odd.
That’s even worse than by squad number.

[Lofty]

That video is strangely hypnotic, unlike his dick pics I'd imagine.

One question though, what does he mean by only certain men will know what he means about securing the coin? Every man needs money, right?

Coin is a slang term used towards women men are only interested in for sex, apparently.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I like it by squad number. Reminds me of the happy days of being at games as a boy, looking down the back of the programme as the teams were read out on the tannoy. Number 24, Sam Dalla Bona.

Alphabetically is horrendous.

[Waffdon]

Watching Mudryk and Dewsbury Hall together down the left could make the most passionate football fans fall out of love with it. Two genuinely horrendous footballers.

Another bore fest being served up by the bald Leicester manager

[niko_cee]

Let's hope the next manager doesn't want to play a high energy direct style.

[Gray Fox]

Is there a thing behind Nkunku and his balloon?

[Ben]

Chelsea are genuinely awful. Spending £200m to become a lot worse is a great effort.

[Yevrah]

I'm sure this has been discussed and I missed it, but is there a logical explanation as to why they keep buying players?

[Waffdon]

Chelsea are genuinely awful. Spending £200m to become a lot worse is a great effort.

Graham Potter vibes so far. Not fun

[niko_cee]

If there is I'm not sure anyone has worked it out yet.

I saw Rory Smith speculating there was some sort of 'disruptor' business at play, where they were trying to exert some sort of critical mass in the transfer market, thus fucking it up for everyone else [?], but I didn't really understand the argument.

I assume they just want a seat at the top table when, in their view, football moves to a closed shop super league franchise model, and the way they think to do that is by spending fucktons of money on players.

[randomlegend]

1826714365695066339

Jesus wept.

[niko_cee]

The operation lives on.

[randomlegend]

If there is I'm not sure anyone has worked it out yet.

I saw Rory Smith speculating there was some sort of 'disruptor' business at play, where they were trying to exert some sort of critical mass in the transfer market, thus fucking it up for everyone else [?], but I didn't really understand the argument.

I assume they just want a seat at the top table when, in their view, football moves to a closed shop super league franchise model, and the way they think to do that is by spending fucktons of money on players.

The idea appears to be to bring in a lot of young purportedly talented players on long contracts but relatively low wages.

Over the next few years, the hope is enough will come good that they'll be left with a very good team. The ones that don't will still have time left on their contracts so they won't lose them for free, but they will be on reasonable wages so can still be sold relatively easily.

I guess it's a vaguely interesting approach and will be worth seeing it play out.

[Yevrah]

I saw Rory Smith speculating there was some sort of 'disruptor' business at play, where they were trying to exert some sort of critical mass in the transfer market, thus fucking it up for everyone else [?], but I didn't really understand the argument.


Indeed, that'd be akin to not liking your neighbours and deciding to take a shit on your own drive as a result.

[niko_cee]

The idea appears to be to bring in a lot of young purportedly talented players on long contracts but relatively low wages.

Over the next few years, the hope is enough will come good that they'll be left with a very good team. The ones that don't will still have time left on their contracts so they won't lose them for free, but they will be on reasonable wages so can still be sold relatively easily.

I guess it's a vaguely interesting approach and will be worth seeing it play out.

This is all well and good, and I agree an interesting thought experiment, but where it potentially falls down seems to be:

1 - their wage bill is astronomical (https://www.spotrac.com/epl/chelsea-fc/cap/_/year/2024),
2 - long contracts are as much of a millstone as a boon as you have to keep paying them,
3 - and they will make the players impossible to shift as no one in their right mind is going to match those wages so
4 - those amortised transfer values are illusory at best,
5 - how many big money deals, on avergae, actually 'pay off' in terms of the player actually improving these days, feels like it is a small percentage.

Guess it's all on Kendry Paez being Messi II. It's like they've sort of seen what Real Madrid have been up to for the last few years and thought how about we try that without appreciating all of the structural differences that allow Madrid to get away with their transfer strategy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's a baseball-style 'rebuild' where you bake in a few years of failure, gradually get rid of all the high-earning older players, and then you're left with a load of lesser-earning younger talent who either become good and win you things, or at worst leave you with the financial space to buy in the talent at that point when other teams will be stuck with their ageing players.

What they haven't got their heads around is that football fans demand stylish victory in every single game, and so a few years of finishing 11th while this process comes to fruition just won't wash. They also keep losing their heads and going against the programme, e.g. sacking Potter when they could easily have kept their nerve.

[niko_cee]

I still don't really get it, other than via the US ownership model where the players are essentially possessions and all the power lies with the owners/'front office'. In the world where one of their very long contract youngsters become really good, they aren't going to sit their on some pittance they've signed for 4 years ago, are they? Without even getting into the fact that the pittance is actually more than most equivalent players earn and in 4 years you have mid-20s Mudryk and 30 year old Tosin Adarabioyo chewing their way through a quarter of a million quid a week.

[Waffdon]

The operation lives on.

He’s an 18 year old who has barely played any men’s football. He should be on loan or in the academy. Directors picking the team and squads though so what can you do

[Waffdon]

This is all well and good, and I agree an interesting thought experiment, but where it potentially falls down seems to be:

1 - their wage bill is astronomical (https://www.spotrac.com/epl/chelsea-fc/cap/_/year/2024),
2 - long contracts are as much of a millstone as a boon as you have to keep paying them,
3 - and they will make the players impossible to shift as no one in their right mind is going to match those wages so
4 - those amortised transfer values are illusory at best,
5 - how many big money deals, on avergae, actually 'pay off' in terms of the player actually improving these days, feels like it is a small percentage.

Guess it's all on Kendry Paez being Messi II. It's like they've sort of seen what Real Madrid have been up to for the last few years and thought how about we try that without appreciating all of the structural differences that allow Madrid to get away with their transfer strategy.

The wage bill really isn’t that high at all. Assuming Sterling, Lukaku and Chilwell do leave then it’s fairly low. Assume 5th highest at best. Not good though because wage bills tend to reflect league position.

Wolves away on Sunday has 2-0 all over it. Look up Chelsea’s away record since wolves got promoted in 2017/18 against them, West Ham and Everton. I think they have 3 wins combined.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What is baldy actually doing there? Is he just a useful scapegoat that they can sack later? Maybe they should have just gone for Paul Heckingbottom or that guy who said bring your fucking dinner in the early 90s.

[Waffdon]

Show all the ambition in the world with the spending sprees on young footballers but hire Potter, Pochettino and baldy back to back to back.

Such an odd club

Also seem to have unlimited funds on players in positions they’re stacked in but cheap out on arguably the biggest issues (GK, LB, CF)

[Jimmy Floyd]

When you realise they don't give a shit how the team performs in the next three seasons (short of avoiding relegation) everything makes a lot more sense.

Results simply aren't important.

[Spikey M]

1826637373515714964

Lol

A woke award, for a predatory man, sponsored by a slave trading fashion brand. That's some vintage 2024 shit right there.

[phonics]

It's been a great nostalgia ride seeing Servette playing Chelsea. The year I moved to Geneva they won the league. Within a year they'd moved from a 6 thousand seat stadium that they couldn't fill to a 30 thousand seat stadium that they really couldn't fill. Then they signed a 36 year old Christian Karambeu who left 3 months later because he'd never been paid, and soon after the owner fled the country because he was so corrupt he'd managed to get done for financial fraud in the city that's entire existence is based on financial fraud. They couldn't extradite him from Spain because he argued in the European Court of Human Rights that was scared of flying, which even if we ignore the fact that Spain and Switzerland are connected by land might have had his case undermined by the fact that he owned not 1 but 2 private jets. Having been bested by such a very right and justice based system the swiss were shit out of luck. Until the genius that is Marc Roger decided to try scam FLORENTINO PEREZ for 20 grand and suddenly the man was dropped off within Swiss borders.

They spent pretty much the entire time I was there in the second division. I went to a few games, it was fun because of how shit it was. Personal highlight was a cup game vs FC Sion that featured Gennaro Gattuso who must have been 40 at the time and Kyle Lafferty. We couldn't leave the car park for 2 hours after the game because the type of nutters who can bring themselves to care about this awful level of football decided to go full football factory and fight both each other and a set of riot police. So we sat on a nearby hill watching everyone launch tear gas at each other with a fucking castle in the background.

https://i.imgur.com/0YzikGZ.jpeg

Good to see them back.

[Baz]

Villareal’s centreback partnership is that Willy Kwambala that United had, and Eric Bailly.

[randomlegend]

How the fuck has Bailly gone from getting excluded from Besiktas' squad and released on a free for being too shit to starting for Villarreal.

The man is a walking paradox.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I really hope we can bring big Willy back one day.

I thought he was class.

[Adramelch]

Leverkusen won yesterday with a goal in the 11th minute of injury time. Who'd have thought?

[Waffdon]

Genuinely thought Billy Gilmour was already at Napoli. They cunts are the slowest negotiators in history