Euro 2024: The Knockouts

[7om]

£5 says Southgate either makes no changes or one like-for-like change.

Thoroughly predictable.

[Yevrah]

I saw Rio Ferdinand and Micah Richards saying we can win 'playing defensive'. We aren't playing defensive. We're having to defend because we're playing shit. Why can't people see the difference?

One of my major bug bears this. Staggering.

[Shindig]

They look like they've barely played together.

[Yevrah]

They look like they've barely played together.

Which has been the same all tournament. As I said in the group stages, it looks utterly rotten and you can see it a mile off. I genuinely don't know what some other people have been watching.

[Dark Soldier]

Smart from Sir Gareth. No need to change what has worked so far.

[John Arne]

Watkins, TAA and Palmer for Kane, Walker and Foden, please Gareth.

[Shindig]

Not gonna celebrate this one yet.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's 100% offside :drool:

[Adramelch]

Ye looks off.

[Magic]

:harold:

[Dark Soldier]

And that is why. Outstanding football.

[Pepe]

Offside :harold:

[randomlegend]

Miles offside.

[Danny]

Absolutely brain dead run.

[Lofty]

Just let him celebrate to rub it in.

[Yevrah]

They look like they've barely played together.

Never better summed up than that not goal. How the fuck can you be offside there?

[Pepe]

What an idiot.

[Dark Soldier]

Corrupt officials, again.

[Bernanke]

Hahahhaha

[Dark Soldier]

Can't believe how bad the pitch has been.

[randomlegend]

Kane looks like he's running through treacle.

[Shindig]

Never better summed up than that not goal. How the fuck can you be offside there?

The little look he gave to the defender behind him, as well. :D

[Magic]

Can't believe how bad the pitch has been.

It's the Slovakian 12th man. Disgrace.

[Serj]

At least there's been a bit of urgency since the break.

[Spikey M]

Fuck me :D

[Pepe]

What is worse, Slovakian manager sneakers or Southgate's zipper polo?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Holy fuck if that had gone in.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, this team couldn't have been any worse if they'd landed in Germany this morning after a month on the whore. What in the actual fuck has Southgate been doing with them?

[niko_cee]

How has he missed that?

[Serj]

That would have been so good.

[Bernanke]

Jesus christ.

[John Arne]

Both our fullbacks are fucking shite.

[randomlegend]

Absolutely criminal. :D

I know I've said it about twenty times, but these are players who've won multiple Premier League titles and the Champions' League. How do they become so sloppy the second they put on an England shirt.

[Magic]

Zidane being let down by his Algerian heritage.

[Serj]

The Slovaks aren't offering enough runs at the moment when they recover the ball. Getting forced a bit too far back for my liking.

[Adramelch]

Ye I know it's England and all, but I'm not sure the Slovaks can hold on if they keep playing like that.

[randomlegend]

Slovakian lad should've had a second yellow there. Ref's bottled it.

[John Arne]

Make some subs you stupid fucking cunt.

[Magic]

God they look knackered. That's what giving your all looks like. Fair play.

[Yevrah]

Ye I know it's England and all, but I'm not sure the Slovaks can hold on if they keep playing like that.

Slovakia, unsurprisingly, are shite. If we lose this game it simply can't be overstated how bad it is.

[Shindig]

Stay down, Keiran. Your job's done.

[Serj]

Ye I know it's England and all, but I'm not sure the Slovaks can hold on if they keep playing like that.

This but only semi-ironically :D It's one of the main things they've been doing so well so far so they should keep going. Hope their two subs just now help with that.

[Magic]

Loving how it's taken an injury on the 65th minute for him to make a sub.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Saka to LB :lol:

[Pepe]

That scarf. :D

[Magic]

Loving how it's taken an injury on the 65th minute for him to make a sub.

Sorry I was wrong.

Edit: there it is.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kucka needs subbing.

[Bernanke]

Yeah Kucka should be off at this point.

[Danny]

Bukayo Left Baka.

[randomlegend]

Saka to get done at left back to go 2-0 down.

[Lewis]

Saka to left-back isn't a bad idea in the circumstances, but the circumstances are that the gimp took one left-back who hasn't played for months.

[niko_cee]

At least Luke Shaw will be fighting fit for his beach holiday next week

[Yevrah]

Yeah, I'm alright with Saka at left back.

I'm not alright with watching us die of a short illness.

[Pepe]

Ref zero fucks given about the man down.

[Magic]

Saka to left-back isn't a bad idea in the circumstances, but the circumstances are that the gimp took one left-back who hasn't played for months.

Reminds of Into The Wild. Saka is the berries.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bellingham DIVED!!

[Adramelch]

I reckon he should bring Bellingham on. A player of his class will surely have an impact on this game.

[Bernanke]

Foden could shoot someone in the middle of Oxford Street and not get subbed off.

[Lewis]

The good thing is that the coverage rolls straight into the Spain vs Georgia match, so we'll get a full hour of Neville pulling that serious forehead face he pulls.

[niko_cee]

Could have been a red for diving there for Jude.

[Adramelch]

Foden could shoot someone in the middle of Oxford Street and not get subbed off.

He'd miss anyway.

[randomlegend]

I don't think he dived, he didn't even appeal and continued to try to play the ball. He just fell over.

[randomlegend]

Must have seen the ball crossed in by England about 40 times during this tournament and not a single one has looked like it had an even 1% chance of resulting in a goal.

[Pepe]

Don't bottle it Slovakia ffs.

[niko_cee]

I don't think he dived, he didn't even appeal and continued to try to play the ball. He just fell over.

I think he probably realised mid fall. Have we really only made one injury enforced substitution?

[Spikey M]

Foden could shoot someone in the middle of Oxford Street and not get subbed off.

If he could shoot on the pitch it would be appreciated.

[Pepe]

Must have seen the ball crossed in by England about 40 times during this tournament and not a single one has looked like it had an even 1% chance of resulting in a goal.

Bellingham scored off a (deflected) cross mate.

[John Arne]

England 0-1 down, 73rd minute.. and Southgate has made 1 sub, and not made any significant tactical change.

[Spikey M]

Getting ole'd by Slovakia. :happycry:

[Yevrah]

England 0-1 down, 73rd minute.. and Southgate has made 1 sub, and not made any significant tactical change.

That was forced as well. You have to wonder at this stage if he's actively trying to body bag us out of the tournament.

[John Arne]

Bellingham red shortly.

[Bernanke]

Has Saka touched the ball since being shifted?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kane :harold:

[Yevrah]

Kane, you absolute fuckwit.

[Adramelch]

Bellingham red shortly.

Not sure the ref has it in him. He's happy just handing out first yellows.

[Spikey M]

STILL 0 shots on target.

[niko_cee]

That was forced as well. You have to wonder at this stage if he's actively trying to body bag us out of the tournament.

He's provided all the liquidity in the market to get England to favourites.

[Yevrah]

The good thing is that the coverage rolls straight into the Spain vs Georgia match, so we'll get a full hour of Neville pulling that serious forehead face he pulls.

The inquest into this should last weeks and no one should be left thinking that the expression 'tournament football' in response to cholera football is ever acceptable again.

[Yevrah]

STILL 0 shots on target.

And no changes. I really thought I'd hit rock bottom with England at various points over the last near 40 years, but seemingly not.

[Yevrah]

Does hitting the post count as a shot on target?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Does hitting the post count as a shot on target?

Nope.

Lee Dixon thought it did...

[Spikey M]

Does hitting the post count as a shot on target?

Only shots that required a save to not go in, I believe.

[Pepe]

Slovakia did end up getting small nation syndrome after all. They've been lucky here.

[Shindig]

We're not scoring.

[Lewis]

Making a single enforced change/substitution by this point is literally watching half of the game pass you by. Is that even managing?

[Gray Fox]

Most creative player in the league not named Kevin still sat on the bench too.

[Yevrah]

Our best player off again. :D

You couldn't write this.

[Lewis]

He's taken the least famous midfielder off. Bingo.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He was on a yellow guys.

Got to ensure he doesn't get sent off and miss the next game.

[Baz]

This is the last time we’ll ever have to watch a Gareth Southgate managed England team, thank god. Let that soak in and take some solace from it.

[niko_cee]

It really can't be overstated how bad both of our fullbacks have been.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I really didn't think Southgate could be this inflexible with his changes, properly outdoing himself.

[Spikey M]

Get Kane off. Fuck me.

[niko_cee]

We don't have a natural replacement for Harry Maguire.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kane :lol:

He's got nothing in him.

[Adramelch]

Kane has been abysmal.

[Yevrah]

What am I watching?

[Magic]

It's like watching the first episode of Chernobyl.

[niko_cee]

It's like watching the first episode of Chernobyl.

:D

Even the subs he has made have been nonsensical.

[Bernanke]

“Gareth Southgate is his own harshest critic”

I'm pretty sure this isn't true.

[Spikey M]

There's zero movement going on up top.

[Spoonsky]

This is truly unbelievable.

[Pepe]

Now all we need is for Georgia to do the same to Spain. :drool:

[Lewis]

I think this finally proves that he plans the substitutes in advance.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Now all we need is for Georgia to do the same to Spain. :drool:

:nodd:

[Yevrah]

“Gareth Southgate is his own harshest critic”

I'm pretty sure this isn't true.

It also doesn't mean anything that leads to any sort of tangible outcome or improvement on this absolute bilge.

He might as well say his Uncle is a greengrocer.

[Adramelch]

Now all we need is for Georgia to do the same to Spain. :drool:

Which would by the way mean that all the semifinalists from the previous Euro would be eliminated.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sending on Toney deep into stoppage time :D

[niko_cee]

Hopefully the FA accept his resignation this time, although they probably won't.

[John Arne]

1807458101177594295

[Magic]

That sub. :D

[Yevrah]

Sending on Toney deep into stoppage time :D

He clearly plays FIFA and wanted the extra chem point.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

All sub windows used too.

It's like he doesn't know the rules.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck sake.

[Shindig]

Fuck!

[Yevrah]

Oh my word.

[Serj]

Expertly taking time off the clock with a sub in injury time here.

[Baz]

Decent that.

[Spikey M]

:drool: :drool: :drool:

[Magic]

Zidane. :drool:

[Pepe]

Zidane :cool:

[Adramelch]

Ye I don't see how Slovakia hold on for another 30.

[Serj]

Goddamn it, my stream is 10 seconds behind. :D

[John Arne]

fuck me. That's underserved.

[niko_cee]

Gareth Southgate will never die.

[Spikey M]

We do now have a hilariously lop sided team though :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Slovakia's only chance is penalties now.

[Magic]

That's sealed Southgate for another 4 years. :drool:

[SincereTheRebel]

Not having someone on both posts in the last minute?

Did england have all outfield players forward?

[Yevrah]

I actually might cry.

[Spoonsky]

Ffs!

Kane doing the celebration with him like an absolute cuck.

[randomlegend]

We're going to turbo-shit our way to the title and Southgate is going to ride off into the sunset in his beige Ford Mondeo, vindicated.

[Pepe]

Slovaks you useless cunts.

[Dark Soldier]

This is why belief trumps all. We've just scored and half you cunts are still moaning. Touch grass.

[niko_cee]

I'd say the last kick of the game is pretty perfect.

You might be on to something with this.

[John Arne]

1 more sub window in ET, take off Kane for any other fucker.

[Serj]

First shot on target as well.

[Magic]

Are they actually praising him for having two extra subs?

[Yevrah]

Right, what the fuck team have we got on the pitch? :D

And come what may, we have to sack Sir Gareth after this game.

[Spoonsky]

It's my fault. I've just told the nervous Scottish couple sat beside me "they're never scoring" just as that throw-in came in.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

First shot on target as well.

Proper FM bullshit.

[Spikey M]

1 more sub window in ET, take off Kane for any other fucker.

With penalties on the horizon, he could spend the entirety of ET sitting down in the centre circle and be kept on.

[Pepe]

Did the commentator just call Southgate a genius? :D

[John Arne]

Bellingham and Kane for Gallagher/Wharton and Gordon. Won't happen.

[Waffdon]

Sickening. Winning it well

[Pepe]

And come what may, we have to sack Sir Gareth after this game.

Keep dreaming.

[Dark Soldier]

Yev, why did you flip back? I've never senenyou more alive, more human, than when you believed. Are you that desperate to be a part of the crowd? I know deep down your heart is racing with joy. Embrace it.

[phonics]

Never in doubt #GoGareth

[Jimmy Floyd]

A truly legendary moment, that.

[Yevrah]

The way this should work now is that we steamroll Solvakia in extra time and have no need for penalties, irrespective of what fuckwittery Sir Gareth presides over. I'm betting my left testicle we don't.

[Serj]

The way this should work now is that we steamroll Solvakia in extra time and have no need for penalties, irrespective of what fuckwittery Sir Gareth presides over. I'm betting my left testicle we don't.

I don't think Slovakia have the players or energy to really put up a fight anymore. Even in characteristically shit Southgate-mode, England have to win this in extra time.

[Yevrah]

Yev, why did you flip back? I've never senenyou more alive, more human, than when you believed. Are you that desperate to be a part of the crowd? I know deep down your heart is racing with joy. Embrace it.

I'm genuinely slightly emotional here. It's like that last season of Twin Peaks where coop can't remember who he was until the last two episodes.

In all seriousness though DS, there is no way anyone can defend that. It was an absolute disgrace.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck right off.

[Lofty]

Or not.

[Yevrah]

I don't think Slovakia have the players or energy to really put up a fight anymore. Even in characteristically shit Southgate-mode, England have to win this in extra time.

Yeah, that's what I'm getting at. We should absolutely fuck them now.

Ok, there's the first.

[Shindig]

Fuck right on.

[Magic]

Fuck that, turned it off.

[Yevrah]

If I have to watch us sit back/low block for 30 minutes now I'm going to go postal.

[Spikey M]

Ok. Next game just play all the attackers and forget having a system. Job done.

[phonics]

Never in doubt #GoGareth

#TrustTheProcess

[randomlegend]

God Save the King

[7om]

We are the biggest shithouses in this tournament.

[Spoonsky]

Ffs :D

[Dark Soldier]

Every single one of you, punch yourselves in the fucking face. The trophy is ours, how many times do I need to say it?

[randomlegend]

Fuck that, turned it off.

Not been a great couple of weeks for you football-wise, has it :lol:

[Pepe]

Damn I left for one minute and missed a goal. Shambles

[Jimmy Floyd]

Name on the trophy I reckon.

[Cord]

This is probably the first time a team has ever managed to score too early in extra time. It's not good tournament football.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They're dropping deeper...

[Jimmy Floyd]

We've sat back immediately, playing the hits.

[Yevrah]

Name on the trophy I reckon.

We're going to get a week of that before putting in another suicide inducing performance against Switzerland, aren't we?

[niko_cee]

Are we going to go all out defence having taken the lead?

[Yevrah]

Are we going to go all out defence having taken the lead?

I mean, yeah.


If I have to watch us sit back/low block for 30 minutes now I'm going to go postal.

[Yevrah]

I suppose at least on the plus side it's finally now clear as day to everyone that we have an absolute clown of a manager who keeps going deep in tournaments because of the players he has/obscene luck he gets in draws.

I support the players if that helps DS. No real problem with any of them as it's not their fault.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How?

[Yevrah]

I mean, just look at this. He's unravelling the cosmic structure of football with this shit. Slovakia having conceded an overhead kick with basically the last kick of normal time and then conceded again right at the start of extra time should be absolutely broken, but there they are, taking the game to us.

[7om]

Unchanged starting lineup vs Switzerland

[Serj]

Slovakian bicycle kick goal in the 121st minute, please.

[Yevrah]

What's a Konsa?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Taking off two penalty takers is bold.

[Baz]

No Guehi against Switzerland, Trent at centre back?

[niko_cee]

Utility defender, ie centre back about to be played out of position at leftback.

[Adramelch]

Proper Southgate subs there.

[Serj]

5-4-1, let's go!

[Yevrah]

Utility defender, ie centre back about to be played out of position at leftback.

Cheers. I should have guessed.

[Dark Soldier]

Unchanged starting lineup vs Switzerland

Never a need to change what has worked.

[Yevrah]

Never a need to change what has worked.

The reality is that it doesn't matter what we change, these poor sods are all managed by Sir Gareth and they're somehow going to have to find a way round that, as they appear to have done today.

[Dark Soldier]

The reality is that it doesn't matter what we change, these poor sods are all managed by Sir Gareth and they're somehow going to have to find a way round that, as they appear to have done today.

I do understand your dislike of him tbf Yev. Its projection and its okay, we're all guilty of it at times.. He's borng, middle aged, a little lost in life but, ultimately, good at what he does. Whatever helps.

[niko_cee]

Do cards get scrubbed or are we going to have to shithouse without Bellingham in the semi, assuming he is booked in the course of Switzerland being dealt with?

[Lewis]

Their goalkeeper will get the equaliser or something equally comical.

[niko_cee]

Have we had two shot on target in 117 mins?

:D

Efficient.

[niko_cee]

We've absolutely robbed them here. About 2 minutes of good football in the 120. The post match cliché bingo is going to be on another level. These boys always believe, never give up, stand up.in the big moments.

[Yevrah]

In a bukkake of irony, the one time we should be defensive as fuck and hold the ball to the final whistle we don't.

[Spikey M]

Pickford is this generations Michael Owen. Such a deeply cringe inducing man. :D

[Lewis]

You genuinely can't hate Sam Matterface enough.

[Dark Soldier]

Clinical, exciting, never in doubt. We show once again what winners we are. Its coming home gentlemen.

[randomlegend]

Christ, Pickford there. You've beaten Slovakia 2-1 after extra time. Have some humility you stupid cunt.

[niko_cee]

You genuinely can't hate Sam Matterface enough.

Was just thinking somebody please kill him. G'wan Clive.

[Pepe]

Good job going through the great challenge of Slovakia. Now to move on to the Swiss titans.

[Yevrah]

16 absolute heroes out there. How they won that game having to deal with what Sir Gareth was doing, well, words can't do it justice. It'd be like being a bus driver and having a clause in your contract that weds a goblin to the cab with you at all times that won't stop vomiting, shitting and pissing everywhere.

[Luke Emia]

Christ, Pickford there. You've beaten Slovakia 2-1 after extra time. Have some humility you stupid cunt.

Yep that and Kane dancing there at the end. I genuinely think the players don’t think there’s an issue with how they have player over the 4 games.

[Manc]

I'm exhausted.

[Serj]

Shame. Let's hope the Swiss have a bit more about them than Slovakia and throw England out, watching them is worse than watching Portugal in 2016.

Lobotka though, proper player.

[Spikey M]

16 absolute heroes out there. How they won that game having to deal with what Sir Gareth was doing, well, words can't do it justice. It'd be like being a bus driver and having a clause in your contract that weds a goblin to the cab with you at all times that won't stop vomiting, shitting and pissing everywhere.

You've never caught a bus in Southend and it shows. #OxfordAccountant

[niko_cee]

Siege mentality. Silencing the critics. Bouncing back to our best.

Unchanged side for the Swiss just so G Neville can lose his mind, or I guess that'll be on the beeb will it?

[Yevrah]

Christ, Pickford there. You've beaten Slovakia 2-1 after extra time. Have some humility you stupid cunt.

It's perhaps one of Sir Gareth's greatest accomplishments that he's made the players genuinely believe that playing like this is acceptable and that Slovakia represent some sort of scalp.

[Lewis]

Switzerland will beat us if we play like that.

[Yevrah]

Who was Bellingham running towards to gob off to before Kane jumped on him after scoring?

[niko_cee]

The fans?

One of the best goals in the history of English football. Alright Harry.

[Lewis]

'This team knows how to dig deep'. Against good teams?

[Yevrah]

Switzerland will beat us if we play like that.

Yeah, they will. I'm expecting a drop off in their performance vs the Italians, but even with that we are going to have to play much better than we did today, which was abysmal.

[Dark Soldier]

Four Quarter Final appearances in a row. Winners.

[Shindig]

It shouldn't take us going a goal down for us to show some urgency.

[niko_cee]

Four Quarter Final appearances in a row. Winners.

Not sure this is exactly how that word works but yeah, more knock out wins for Gareth than 50 years of managers/teams or whatever that stat is. Mental.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Come on Georgia.

[Dark Soldier]

Not sure this is exactly how that word works but yeah, more knock out wins for Gareth than 50 years of managers/teams or whatever that stat is. Mental.

Clearly in spite of him etc.

[-james-]

https://e0.365dm.com/18/11/768x432/skysports-jose-mourinho-man-utd_4479743.jpg

[niko_cee]

Right, now the chaff needs to start clearing out the other side of the draw so we end up with someone dreadful in the final

[Yevrah]

Having half of Europe qualify helps, as do the draws, as do the players. Gareth is actively damaging the team at this point.

[Kikó]

Gareth Southgate, what a man. 😍

[niko_cee]

Does anyone else want to break into the NeverEnding Story theme song after the ITV intro music?

[Adramelch]

Spain seem to have an actual attacking plan. They won't go far playing like that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

England still favourites with the bookies btw.

And Swiss are at odds of around 4 to win in the 90 minutes.

[Pepe]

You will get through the Swiss and whatever garbage team comes after. What a draw.

[niko_cee]

Spain, all fancy football, no efficiency.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, I might have to turn this off. It's really not how football should be played.

[Manc]

:drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kvaradona :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

[Adramelch]

Incredible. :D

[niko_cee]

:lol:

[Pepe]

:rave:

[Yevrah]

England would never concede a goal like that.

[Dark Soldier]

But at least Spain ate playing well.

[Serj]

Spain seem to have an actual attacking plan. They won't go far playing like that.

That's what they get for it.

[Shindig]

Right, now the chaff needs to start clearing out the other side of the draw so we end up with someone dreadful in the final

Uh oh. :D

[Pepe]

That fucking defending. :lol:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sakhlshi modis!

[Pepe]

Sakhlshi modis!

Alright Kiko.

[niko_cee]

Labouring past Georgia in the final in a similarly heartbreaking manner as today. :drool:

[Adramelch]

Georgia got their first major tournament win against Portugal, as did Greece in 2004.
Greece had Spain in the qualifying group and then had to eliminate them and the hosts on their way to win the Euro. So do Georgia.
Georgia beat Greece to get to the Euros.

The writing's on the wall people. Georgia's tournament to lose from here.

[Pepe]

England would never concede a goal like that.

Goals like that terrify most managers, which is why they play the bilge they do.

[Luke Emia]

Georgia are batshit mental to watch, but incredibly fun.

[Shindig]

They've got incredible energy and purpose about them.

[Pepe]

They seem more likely to score than Spain tbh.

[-james-]

Nations League C :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If the Georgian lad wasn't injured he stops that.

[Pepe]

The first touch and the finish there. :drool:

[niko_cee]

VAR will sort this

[Pepe]

Fuck VAR.

[Manc]

Does anyone else want to break into the NeverEnding Story theme song after the ITV intro music?

La la la
La la la
La la la