[FOOTBALL] Weekend Football 23-26 October (Chinny Special - Man Utd vs Man City)

[Kikó]

Nope. I'm fond of Benfica because of the wife.

2-0 now, cracking header from Slimani.

[Lewis]

Those 2011-13 Dortmund sides would be all over Southampton. I'm not sure why Liverpool aren't.

[Waffdon]

Nope. I'm fond of Benfica because of the wife.

2-0 now, cracking header from Slimani.

Ah. 'mon Gauld's Golden boiiiiis

[Boydy]

What a tackle by Moreno.

He's so quick too.

[Kikó]

Christ, 3-0 now. Jesus is butchering his former team.

[Pepe]

Christ, 3-0 now. Jesus is butchering his former team.

I lolled.

[Kikó]

I should work for the Sun. Nailed on for puns.

[Baz]

Yes mate!

[Boydy]

My stream's gone to shit now and I missed the goal. :mad:

[Baz]

I'm glad the biggest cheer of the day didn't end up coming from Jason McAteer's halftime heroics, or Cedric's face.

[Baz]

:moop:

[phonics]

Captained Mane and all :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

That defending was proper schoolboy.

[Waffdon]

Benteke? hahahah. What?

[Baz]

Captained Mane and all :drool::roflol:

[phonics]

Fucks sake.

[QE Harold Flair]

lol @ the pundit giving Benteke man of the match for 1 header.

[Boydy]

Watching a little bit of the post-match stuff on NBC and it's really weird to hear someone talking about football in an American accent and sounding sensible.

[P_3]

Unbeaten in three. Klopp. :cool:

[Shindig]

I enjoyed nufc.com's match report. It's full of seethe from start to finish. That's the only way to approach this.

[GS]

A 1-1 draw was painfully inevitable.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Between the derby earlier and Barcelona on now knocking free kicks backwards from 30 yards out, I've seen some proper shite from supposedly good teams today.

[Benny]

Boruc with some of the worst goalkeeping I've seen in years, he'll get hammered on MOTD tonight.

[Bernanke]

P_3 you missed the match of the weekend in the OP. The Swedish league is nearing it's end since it's one of the few still running spring-fall. 28/30 games in it looks like this:

http://i.imgur.com/FpY7d7H.png?1

And tomorrow the biggest non-local rivalry in the country is being played, between AIK and IFK Göteborg. 44000 tickets have been sold.

http://gurra.net/onewebstatic/fc74c8c8ef-Gnaget%20logga.png

http://gurra.net/onewebstatic/f542fbe869-ifk_goeteborg.png

Game kicks off at 18.00 GMT, tune in when Allsvenskan actually has something exciting to show! :nodd:

[Luca]

'mon the fucking AIK massive. Henok Goitom and Mo Bangura to run riot. :drool:

[Bernanke]

I'll be in the away-stand, so you can fuck off Luca. :box:

We need a World Football-thread me thinks. If someone can find a good sponsor they should set it up.

[Samadini]

Was all about the CSL this morning.

[Luca]

I'll be in the away-stand, so you can fuck off Luca. :box:

We need a World Football-thread me thinks. If someone can find a good sponsor they should set it up.

Don't you support Djurgårdens?

[QE Harold Flair]

How many gardens does he have?

[Spoonsky]

That was better from Liverpool, I thought, though the result isn't great. The second half was very good.

The crux of the matter, though, is that Benteke relies on crosses and we're not a crossing team. We're actually very fucking narrow in our playing style. And except for the one moment today it's hard to see how those are going to be reconciled.

[Bernanke]

Don't you support Djurgårdens?

That's Trancemeister I believe.

[ScousePig]

Luke Edwards of the Telegraph:


If there was one sour note for the Black Cats, it was an accusation that Johnson had goaded Newcastle’s supporters with an aeroplane celebration after his successful spot kick.

Some claimed the former England international was making a spiteful and provocative reference to the two Newcastle supporters who died when a Malaysia Airlines flight was shot down over Ukraine last year. Johnson should apologise for any offence caused, even if it was not intended as it was perceived.

Embarrassing :blush:

[Luca]

Luke Edwards of the Telegraph:



Embarrassing :blush:

What? :D

That's some display of mental Olympics.

[Disco]

I think Mr Edwards may have pulled a muscle stretching that far.

[ScousePig]

What? :D

That's some display of mental Olympics.

There are plenty of bitter mags saying it too, but you can sort of understand that and were it the other way around some Sunderland fans would be saying the same thing. But for a supposed respected journalist to run with it (he later re-wrote the article and left out that part) is mental. What's he thinking of?

[Magic]

http://m.liveleak.com/view?i=0d0_1445805914

Jelle Van Damme (FM legend?) Gets a bottle launched at his napper during a post match interview.

Shocking, but :D.

[Waffdon]

There are plenty of bitter mags saying it too, but you can sort of understand that and were it the other way around some Sunderland fans would be saying the same thing. But for a supposed respected journalist to run with it (he later re-wrote the article and left out that part) is mental. What's he thinking of?

Do you like having him play for your club?

[Giggles]

Depends on how many of those he scores I'd say, unless Scouse is one of those mentalists.

[phonics]

658616852382359553

Woof.

[Weaver]

To go back to the first page BANTZ, Luke Shaw has confirmed that he IS NOT gay:

657892912840232960

657927753979793408

[Giggles]

What are the weird symbols in Shaw's tweet?

[Benny]

Oscar Wilde was married...

[Davgooner]

Mertesacker.

[ScousePig]

Do you like having him play for your club?

Johnson? Yeah. He's one of the few players we have capable of turning a game with something special.

[Trancemeister]

That's Trancemeister I believe.

Indeed I do

[phonics]

Pirlo putting his life on the line here

658675912280559616

[Jimmy Floyd]

Johnson could come out as gay, and confuse the geordie faithful momentarily.

[simon]

Pirlo putting his life on the line here

658675912280559616

:D

[Benny]

I like how none of them dared to have a go at him either.

[Jeet]

What are the weird symbols in Shaw's tweet?

He likes to be fingered up the arse.

[simon]

He likes to be fingered up the arse.

Quality.

[Bernanke]

Just arrived at the arena, nervous as fuck. Get in on this TTH. :drool:

[QE Harold Flair]

http://www.sportinglife.com/football/news/article/2/10044958/chelsea-manager-jose-mourinho-hit-with-another-fa-charge

:happycry:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v645/Chickalickie/chickens/8ccac8f2.jpg

[Giggles]

I see the draw was made for the fa cup first round. Did the curry team make it?

[Davgooner]

http://www.sportinglife.com/football/news/article/2/10044958/chelsea-manager-jose-mourinho-hit-with-another-fa-charge

:happycry:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v645/chickalickie/chickens/8ccac8f2.jpg

wenger wenger wenger wenger wenger

[Jeet]

I see the draw was made for the fa cup first round. Did the curry team make it?

Na, lost 2-1.

[ScousePig]

The First Round draw was made at my local club Thackley, where I spent most of my childhood. Also one of my old team mates was apparently on it as he plays for FC United and lives just down the road, but I haven't seen it yet.

[ScousePig]

Haha, didn't realise they were speaking to Tom as well before the draw.

Going back to our game, here's Look North's 'analysis' of the game (about 17/18 minutes in): http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b06kj057/look-north-north-east-and-cumbria-26102015

Who do you think the woman supports? :D

[Angelsaint]

wenger wenger wenger wenger wengerDo you honestly think it's fair the difference of treatment Wenger and Mourinho get?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I got some rather good itk information about Chelsea the other night. Apparently the issue with Eva Carneiro is (drum roll) that she was shagging a player.

In the absence of a better prize, I'll give plus rep to the first person who guesses the player.

[Magic]

#inb4Terry

But it has to be Hazard I reckon. Also, what a lucky cunt.

[simon]

The obvious answer is John Terry.

Magic. :moop:

[simon]

I want my guess to be Diego Costa. That dodgy hamstring is just an excuse.

[Magic]

Cheers for the rep Jim.

[John Arne]

I got some rather good itk information about Chelsea the other night. Apparently the issue with Eva Carneiro is (drum roll) that she was shagging a player.

In the absence of a better prize, I'll give plus rep to the first person who guesses the player.

The red tops ran that story at the time.... Is (was) she single?

[SvN]

Is (was)

Who remembers Tiswas?

[phonics]

Oscar. Jeet posted it at the time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's not Oscar, I'm sure he's a good little Catholic boy.

It is of course the Rear Admiral himself, the Lion of London, VC and bar, the right honourable Sir John Terry.

[Davgooner]

I heard that as well.

[Magic]

It's not Oscar, I'm sure he's a good little Catholic boy.

It is of course the Rear Admiral himself, the Lion of London, VC and bar, the right honourable Sir John Terry.

Pos Rep me then you cunt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You said you were in before John Terry, which probably means the poor guy's now got genital warts.

[Magic]

Your untrustworthiness displeases your Korean overlords.

[QE Harold Flair]

Mourinho was heard saying "Wenger was right - you're fucking soft".

Even when having a go at the ref he's still obsessing over Wenger. He's going to end up in a mental home, that man.

[QE Harold Flair]

Is he cracking under the pressure? Complaining about a team being defensive really is either the height of trolling or hypocrisy. :lol:

Perhaps it's the fact that now that he's not at the richest club in the country. I just want you all to know I will be keeping a firm eye on things. We've had Moyes watch and Martinez watch, but they were easy targets.

From 2 years ago - I could see the signs.

http://oi57.tinypic.com/25hn0af.jpg

[simon]

Solid prediction, that. It's almost like there wasn't a league title or a league cup won in the middle of those two posts.

[QE Harold Flair]

It's pretty much accepted that Chelsea won by virtue of everyone else being shit. The signs were there and the documented evidence that I saw it is undeniable.

[simon]

Good stuff.

The thing is, even with this recent CRISIS, Chelsea will still finish above Arsenal once the season is out. :baz:

[John Arne]

Cesar Martinez (Zamora) makes the ball to levitate in a "magic" celebration after goal v Caracas :drool:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLehCNKdIZI

[QE Harold Flair]

I'll be honest - I just wanted to post the Mystic Ric picture, but you've given me gold there.

[Jeet]

Burn him!

[simon]

I'll be honest - I just wanted to post the Mystic Ric picture, but you've given me gold there.

Shall we have a bet on it? Loser has to post a Foe style selfie.

[QE Harold Flair]

Shall we have a bet on it? Loser has to post a Foe style selfie.

I think your loss of standing will do me fine. I admit, it won't be a long fall.

[Benny]

Should bet a meat hamper on it, to be supplied to the next kickabout.

[phonics]

Simon would wimp out in the worry that Cain or whoever he actually was would turn up and womp him in the gobber.

[simon]

I think your loss of standing will do me fine. I admit, it won't be a long fall.

For someone so confident, you haven't half BOTTLED that quickly.

[simon]

Simon would wimp out in the worry that Cain or whoever he actually was would turn up and womp him in the gobber.

I'd still have him. :eyemouth:

[QE Harold Flair]

For someone so confident, you haven't half BOTTLED that quickly.

I don't go in for forum bets. I bet at proper betting places.

[simon]

Why don't you do forum bets?

[QE Harold Flair]

Because it's unreliable and I don't wish to fraternise with you.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're doing a fairly poor job of not fraternising with us.

[Benny]

He didn't do the kickabout because he has actual real life mates, remember.

[SvN]

I bet his mum and nan are a right laugh.

[Angelsaint]

Even when having a go at the ref he's still obsessing over Wenger. He's going to end up in a mental home, that man.
Well...Wenger does as he pleases without ever being punished, obviously he has to be mentioned if someone gets a punishment.

[QE Harold Flair]

You're doing a fairly poor job of not fraternising with us.

Not really, I'm here trying to fight the good fight. There is limited fraternising.

[Disco]

There is limited fraternising.

So sad...

http://i.imgur.com/IfywCou.png

...we're here for you Harry.

[QE Harold Flair]

You've edited out my pc there.

[phonics]

659078528558833665

I do like the idea of having a Glen in the centre of midfield in a world of Mezuts, Santis and Alexiss.

[phonics]

I've just had a thought about something while watching that SkySports bumper. Do they only ride female horses in races involving jumps or do they cut it's thing off?

[QE Harold Flair]

I want to know what's happened to Adelaide. He looked fairly amazing in the pre-season.

[Toby]

I think it's a requirement in steeplechase for them to be castrated.

But then horse schlong isn't that noticeable normally, they just get massive erections.

[Jeet]

I got some rather good itk information about Chelsea the other night. Apparently the issue with Eva Carneiro is (drum roll) that she was shagging a player.

In the absence of a better prize, I'll give plus rep to the first person who guesses the player.

Old news, told you guys it was Oscar.

[Toby]

Jimmy definitely posted about those rumours before, denouncing them as Twitter rubbish. :harold:

[QE Harold Flair]

She's not a bad looker but you'd think Oscar could do better.

[Jeet]

She's not a bad looker but you'd think Oscar could do better.

Like his sister.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://twitter.com/ForestEchoNews

I can believe that diljeet would fall for the quite bizarre conglomeration of troll accounts going there.

[Waffdon]

Like his sister.

:D

Arsenal players are jokers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Has anyone ever noticed, meanwhile, how historical League Cup sponsors are a pastiche of what rich people in marketing agencies believed poor people got up to, but always about 10 years behind?

1960-82 - no sponsor (they had no idea)
1982-86 - Milk (well they were always moaning about it being snatched, after all)
1986-90 - Littlewoods (he kept on plugging at the four aways)
1990-92 - Rumbelows (they could sell Japanese TVs to watch popular new soap opera, the East Enders)
1992-98 - Coca-Cola (everyone liked a Coke with their McDonalds fast food beefburgers)
1998-03 - Worthingtons (a good old pint of bitter ale for the working man)
2003-12 - Carling (by this time bitter ale had been superseded by those fancy lagers from the continent)
2012-16 - Capital One (it doesn't matter what the poor buy now, as long as they can do it with someone else's money)

[Waffdon]

Another one. :D

[phonics]

2 Subs in 15 minutes. Great night so far.

[AE]

Yep this is about the time we start dropping like flies :drool:

[Jeet]

Theo & Ox subbed off due to injuries.

[AE]

Bet you Walcott didn't even stretch properly before going in.

[Waffdon]

That's a fucking goal. Scotland ripping Arsenal open there.

CARLOS HAD A DREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[Reg]

Waffdon /other Scots, how is Mark McGhee viewed over there?

[Waffdon]

Err. Why? He's a proper dour cunt. Says "y'know" an awful lot as well.

A decent manager at best.

[Waffdon]

Get Wallace in the Scotland team. :drool:

[AE]

Losing 2-0 now...
Our "kids" are so shit. Basically lost two good players as well.

[QE Harold Flair]

I think it's fair to say this youth lot won't be pulling up any trees.

[Jeet]

Sheff Wed were @8's - was tempted.

Ah well. Turns off TV. Won't win the title as we have a shit squad after 14 players.

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CSWcHJEUsAA7xuJ.jpg:large

Let's do this.

[phonics]

Arsenal

36 Martinez (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/m/martinez_390335.stm) yellow card
06 Koscielny (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/k/koscielny_322957.stm) yellow card
20 Djourou (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/d/djourou_303158.stm)
25 Jenkinson (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/j/jenkinson_443504.stm)
54 Miquel (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/m/miquel_428520.stm) yellow card (Meade (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/m/meade_185729.stm) 105+3)
14 Walcott (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/w/walcott_304763.stm)
22 Coquelin (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/c/coquelin_403148.stm)
23 Arshavin (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/a/arshavin_202962.stm)
26 Frimpong (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/f/frimpong_389442.stm) (Giroud (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/g/giroud_341938.stm) 62 yellow card)
47 Gnabry (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/g/gnabry_481494.stm) (Eisfeld (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/e/eisfeld_484207.stm) 62 yellow card)
29 Chamakh (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/c/chamakh_261728.stm) yellow card

Substitutes

60 Shea (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/s/shea_393545.stm),
18 Squillaci (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/s/squillaci_214650.stm),
40 Bellerin (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/b/bellerin_485855.stm),
46 Eisfeld (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/e/eisfeld_484207.stm),
53 Meade (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/m/meade_185729.stm),
64 Yennaris (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/y/yennaris_440476.stm),
12 Giroud (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/bsp/hi/football/statistics/players/g/giroud_341938.stm)


What a team that was in comparison.

[leedsrevolution]

Chelsea :happycry:

[AE]

3-0 Fuck me....

[QE Harold Flair]

It's better that we go out now if this is the quality we have coming through. No wonder nobody has ever heard of that Kamara geezer, what a donkey. I don't recall us having a shot yet.

[Magic]

:harold:

Nice to see a team in Yorkshire with ambition. :sick:

[Jimmy Floyd]

In fairness to us, it is the archetypal cold Tuesday night in Stoke.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hazard is such a twat.

All about the FA Cup now.

[Lewis]

Hasn't he missed both (more?) times when he's done it normally?

[Waffdon]

Hazard has been tragic this year. :(

I'd imagine Mourinho is gone by next week and Hazard by next summer

[Giggles]

After Rodgers and Sherwood getting the boot just before Spurs, I'll go for Mourinho leaving on November 26th.

[Giggles]

That Walters goal too :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'll only sanction us sacking Mourinho if we replace him with Zola. Or Hasselbaink. Or Ambrosetti.

[Lee]

Bollocks, we could have had a proper crack at this cup. Disappointed we made so many changes to the side; mind you, so did they and it did them no harm. Hopefully we have a go at the FA Cup.

[Lewis]

Hey(!) Hull won. In front of about eight people as well. They seem to be about forty per cent down on their average Premiership crowds, which is kind of piss poor.

[Waffdon]

Hull look fairly good. I'd imagine they'll come straight back up.

[Lewis]

I saw Steve Bruce on the local news about to claim he had the best squad in the division, only to back out just in time as he realised saying so could make life difficult.

[Lee]

They ought to with their squad and Steve Bruce as manager. Nobody better than them in that league on paper.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can't imagine actual football managers appearing on the local news. Closest we get is Barry Hearn mouthing off every six months.

'Fulham drew 1-1 at Ipswich, but Brentford, Leyton Orient and Dagenham & Redbridge all lost. And finally, the words to the song may go 'My old man's a dustman', but for one Catford resident, collecting the bins is not just a job, it's a way of life. Paul Mediocre has more.'

[Boom-Boom]

Where do you guys think Jose would end up if Chelsea do end up sacking him over the next few weeks?

Rightly or wrongly I can't see him lasting much longer.

[Shindig]

International management.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Benny]

Wouldn't be so bad if he shut up and got on with it, problem is he spends half his life having a seethe in front of a camera.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's not going to be sacked. They can weather a shit season.

[Davgooner]

Horrible mish-mash of a team and we got absolutely twatted.

Best genuine whole-stadium atmosphere I've witnessed in years.

[Jeet]

Bit concern with our youth academy, Gnabry and Crowley been told they are too shit to play for the first team that they are on loan too. They were the main players we had hopes for aswell.

Also Jose :D

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/watch-jose-mourinho-walk-out-6719409#rlabs=1%20rt$category%20p$1

[simon]

Is there really a story in that?

[Benny]

Hasn't your academy been shit for quite a while now?

[Giggles]

Link isn't working but I seen the word mirror and decided it wasn't worth the copy/paste.

[Davgooner]

Bit concern with our youth academy, Gnabry and Crowley been told they are too shit to play for the first team that they are on loan too. They were the main players we had hopes for aswell.


We're less focused on our academy since the financial situation improved. There seem to be some strange decisions being made with regard to which players are pushed through, loaned out, sold etc. Akpom, for example, should have been kept and given a chance this season given the shortage of options up front. He's always looked lively when involved with the first team. The likes of Zelalem, Maitland-Niles, Hayden really should be integrated into the first team after their current loans.

The real victory will come when we sign back Afobe for £35m.

[Reg]

Err. Why? He's a proper dour cunt. Says "y'know" an awful lot as well.

A decent manager at best.
He used to be Brighton manager. I was just wondering the other day when I saw he had a new job.

[Giggles]

Looking over the squad for the Bosnia game tonight reminded me of Harry Arter. Anyone seen much of him this season? Has he done OK or was the championship his level? He was regarded as a decent prospect for us at one time.

[Vim]

Mandzukic is making me miss not just Llorente but even fucking Bendtner. I think I'd do better upfront. At least you could be sure I'd bother to move outside my 4m by 4m square. Absolutely disrispectful to the shirt.

[Max Power]

Cracking title race shaping up in Italy with Juve still floundering.

Napoli by far the best team I've seen but they did draw 0-0 with Carpi so who knows.

[Lee]

Napoli do look good and are beating the other big sides. I'd like them to win it. I'd prefer Fiorentina if they weren't managed by Sousa. Roma are looking lovely too.

[Magic]

Pjanic scored a lovely cheeky Nandos earlier.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mandzukic is making me miss not just Llorente but even fucking Bendtner. I think I'd do better upfront. At least you could be sure I'd bother to move outside my 4m by 4m square. Absolutely disrispectful to the shirt.

Mahow strikes again.

I've been saying he's overrated for years now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Teixeira looks a handy player for Liverpool. Origi, less so.

[Luca]

We would have been absolutely fucked this season with Romero in goal. Jesus.

[Danny]

Romero :face:

[Spoonsky]

I said to my friend today that Origi is like a made-in-China knockoff version of Benteke.

Not racist.

[Waffdon]

Why did that Blind own goal not count?

[Luca]

Why did that Blind own goal not count?

It was already flagged for offside, I believe.

[Vim]

Rodgers is available right?

[Danny]

It was already flagged for offside, I believe.

Yeah, was given offside before hitting the post

[AE]

Rooney just needs to retire. He's getting worse and worse.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I said to my friend today that Origi is like a made-in-China knockoff version of Benteke.

Not racist.

He's nothing like Benteke though. He's more like Peter Crouch.

[Luca]

He really does need to fuck off. This is painful to watch.

EDIT:AE

[Waffdon]

The absolute state of Downing's inability to use his right foot :sick:

[AE]

He's been bullied off every single ball. A couple of years ago that would just never happen. He literally can't outrun anyone as well.

[Luca]

Tony Marshall is too quick/clever for pretty much everyone else on the pitch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I see the 'Class of 92' are continuing their charm offensive with a grass roots documentary on the BBC.

How long before they have the full house under their control: Manchester United manager, England manager, lead Sky pundit, lead BBC pundit, and whatever Paul Scholes does.

[Luca]

And a posh hotel to boot.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And a posh hotel to boot.

Which is full of tramps right now.

[Lewis]

Who misses a penalty then? I'm going Fellaini, Smalling, and possibly Martial if he tries to take it like a twat.

[Vim]

Just think that for the same price as Mandzukic we could have bought 20 million cheeseburgers, lumped them on the pitch and they still wouldn't be caught offside as often.

[Luca]

Who misses a penalty then? I'm going Fellaini, Smalling, and possibly Martial if he tries to take it like a twat.

'Big Felleh' and Smalling will. I have faith that Martial will score his.

EDIT: Martial should have hit that 10 minutes ago.

[Ian]

Heathens.

Fellaini's going to take the net off.

He may in fact hit it SO HARD that it passes through the net but looks somehow like a miss to the untrained eye.

[Waffdon]

Downing is tragic

[Lewis]

Isn't Romero meant to be more than handy on penalties? Flapping disasters always seem to be.

[Luca]

Isn't Romero meant to be more than handy on penalties? Flapping disasters always seem to be.

South American 'keepers always love a go on penalties, don't they? That diving header. :D

[Reg]

From the BBC live commentary:


How incredibly bad does Rooney have to be before his media sycophants see it? He's paid £300,000 a week, the fifth highest paid player IN THE WORLD and he can't reliably pass, control a ball or hold the position he's supposed to for the benefit of the team. He's already shot physically, and he's got four more years on his contract. Good luck with THAT, United fans. Danny Mills and the rest of his vintage of England players who have this blind spot for Rooney as an ex colleague and friend need to stop making excuses for him.. be experts, not mates.
Tim, Devon

Oof.

[Luca]

This referee is a fucking shambles.

[Luca]

How did that not go in? Fucking hell. Absolutely unlucky.

[phonics]

Unlucky? He headed it 4 yards over the bar.

[Waffdon]

How did that not go in? Fucking hell. Absolutely unlucky.

Not really.

It might just be the shitty camera, but the player doesn't look offside at all for that Blind Own Goal

[Luca]

Unlucky? He headed it 4 yards over the bar.

Martial, not the Belgian mess.

[Lewis]

Oooh, penalties. It's a complete lottery.

[Disco]

From the BBC live commentary:



Oof.

I know a Tim, it was probably him.

[Ian]

All you have to do is walk up to the spot and kick it into the net, says Danny Mills.

Well, he's not wrong.

[Giggles]

CLOSE!
Man Utd 0-0 Middlesbrough
Posted at 22:26
How's he missed that! Anthony Martial has a free header six yards out, awkward height, and he slices it wide!

Into the 120th minute...

How do you slice a header?

[Luca]

Just take him out back and shoot him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rooney should never be allowed to take a penalty again.

[Luca]

Oof.

[Danny]

Knew Rooney would miss.

Thats criminal from Nugent

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck you Carragher.

[Luca]

Lol, what a mess from the "experienced members of the squad."

[phonics]

Sounds like an away game. What a turnout from the Boro fans.

[Luca]

Shambles.

[SvN]

That was so inevitable. Why are we such a disgrace at penalties?

[Danny]

Thats pitiful.

[Waffdon]

It feels like all penalties are saved from going to the 'keepers right.

[Lewis]

That was probably for the best. Now they can concentrate on the Champions' League.

Rooney normally saves his misses for when it doesn't matter. He always scores 'pressure' penalties. It's over mate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Quality trio of players to miss. Just needed Downing to scalp his onto the tram line and it would have been a perfect quartet of mediocrity.

[Shindig]

Is the draw on Thursday?

[Giggles]

Is the draw on Thursday?

Draw is happening now according to the BBC.

Middlesbrough v Everton

Southampton v Liverpool

Stoke v Sheffield Wednesday

Manchester City v Hull

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Middlesbrough v Everton

Southampton v Liverpool

Stoke v Sheffield Wednesday

Manchester City v Hull

All dull tbh.

[Lewis]

It's Hull's to lose.

[Spoonsky]

That's a shit draw but Liverpool really should be going far in this now.

[Yevrah]

That's a shit draw but Liverpool really should be going far in this now.

As far as meeting Man City in the semi's?

[Spoonsky]

It would be hard to feel too aggrieved if we went out to City in the semis. Not that they aren't beatable.

[Spoonsky]

Seattle beating the LA Galaxy 2-1 after 20 minutes in a sudden-death playoff match. I'm sure you'll all be pleased to hear that Steve Gerrard lost his mark on the latest Seattle goal.

EDIT: 2-2! This game is LIT.

[Spoonsky]

Goal 3-2 to Seattle a minute later. What is happening!!!

EDIT: It's been disallowed for an unknown reason. Utter madness. :D

[Luca]

Goal 3-2 to Seattle a minute later. What is happening!!!

Football?

[Luca]

...and they've just called it off. :D

[Spoonsky]

Seattle did end up winning 3-2.

Tomorrow we get to see Luca's boys get molested by Didier Drogba in their first ever playoff game, should be fun.

[Luca]

Going to be playing hockey. :moop:

I know I won't have the mental fortitude to block out the score and watch it when I'm home.

[Luca]

Also, oi, Bernanke mate: your boys donned AIK, but what is Norrköping doing in front with an average age of 12?

[Shindig]

If Wednesday wind up in a final I think nufc.com might combust.

"That could've been us!"

[Andy]

That's a shit draw but Liverpool really should be going far in this now.

We will take this one seriously.

Liverpool will be coming off Thursday and Sunday games, I'll be pissed if we're not in the Semis.

[Andy]

Will be surprised if City don't win it from here. Perfect draw for them really.

[Boydy]

How were Liverpool last night? I only caught the highlights and they looked decent but it's hard to tell from highlights.

[Bernanke]

Also, oi, Bernanke mate: your boys donned AIK, but what is Norrköping doing in front with an average age of 12?

12? Who told you that? :cab: They have a really deadly front four (including wingers), and have played the best offensive football in the league this season. I still think we're slight favourites to win it, because Malmö needs a point on Saturday.

[Kikó]

Drawing 0-0 against Boro at home. :cool: Our penalty record :cool:

[Angelsaint]

If Mourinho doesn't win the next 3 -5 games I am joining the "Wenger wanker team for Mourinho to fuck off"!

[Luke Emia]

How were Liverpool last night? I only caught the highlights and they looked decent but it's hard to tell from highlights.

Ok, could have had a couple more. Could have conceded a couple of times. The big thing is you won't see anything like what we really be like until we get a proper striker fit.

[phonics]

Even Saint can't go a post without mentioning Wenger. He's obsessed, some might even call him a voyeur.

[Angelsaint]

Even Saint can't go a post without mentioning Wenger. He's obsessed, some might even call him a voyeur. Not mentioning Wenger would be irresponsible of me when mentioning someone whining over Mourinho.

[QE Harold Flair]

I see there's yet another Manchester United programme on BBC 1 tonight. That's 4 in the last month or 2.

[Reg]

The premise is quite good though.


It feels like all penalties are saved from going to the 'keepers right.
That'd be quite interesting to see - whether more penalties in general are saved that side. The majority of keepers will be right handed but as a right footed penalty taker it's easier to go that way.

Probably not that interesting actually..

[simon]

The premise is quite good though.


That'd be quite interesting to see - whether more penalties in general are saved that side. The majority of keepers will be right handed but as a right footed penalty taker it's easier to go that way.

Probably not that interesting actually..

I don't think which hand you write with affects which side you prefer to dive on.

[Reg]

You don't reckon a right-handed keeper will make more saves with his right hand?

[Toby]

I don't think which hand you write with affects which side you prefer to dive on.

Why not?

I definitely find it easier to dive to my right whenever I'm playing in goal. Obviously I'm hopelessly inept, but it doesn't seem that implausible that goalkeeper's would have a preferred side.

[Boydy]

doesnt ur head just block the whole goal lol

[SvN]

Most goalkeepers have a preferred side.

[Benny]

It's common sense that you'd be better saving a goal on your natural side, shirley. The top level keepers would have practised and be physically strong enough, that it would be a small difference in their actual ability though, I'd imagine.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Leeds 0-2 Blackburn after 5 minutes is probably the worst start to a game I've seen by any team for some time. Gifted them both goals.

[Max Power]

Leeds lol.

I give Evans 4 months, even less in the job

[Max Power]

Oh my the natives are restless at Elland Road. This could get ugly

[ScousePig]

That'd be quite interesting to see - whether more penalties in general are saved that side. The majority of keepers will be right handed but as a right footed penalty taker it's easier to go that way.

I don't agree with any of that. I'm all left but much prefer diving to my right. I never really understand when cricket commentators talk about diving to your weaker side or catching with your weaker hand, based solely on whether someone is right or left-handed.

And you think it's easier for a player to kick across himself?

[Reg]

Yeah, I found that to be true.

I think it's reflected in how players take penalties and free kicks. Could be wrong.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm left handed yet dive much stronger to my right. Well, it's more of a flop these days, but whatever.

[ScousePig]

Yeah, I found that to be true.

I think it's reflected in how players take penalties and free kicks. Could be wrong.

Kicking across yourself on penalties makes it harder to get the ball right in the corner, theoretically giving the goalkeeper more chance of saving the spot kick.

[Reg]

I didn't find that.

Off the top of my head, I think penalty takers like Gerrard and Lampard prefer going left.

[Boydy]

What? You're saying kicking the ball with your right foot into the left corner of the goal (as you, the kicker, look at it) is more difficult than kicking it with your right foot into the right corner? No it's not. You'd have to open your body up far too much to put it in the right corner and the keeper would see where you're going.

[Toby]

I didn't find that.

Off the top of my head, I think penalty takers like Gerrard and Lampard prefer going left.

Lampard went just right of centre most often, which seems to be backed up by this: https://www.thechels.co.uk/3469-frank-lampard-penalty-record/

But I'd actually agree with you and Boydy.

EDIT: Ah, yeah you mean keeper's right anyway.

[Danny]

Kicking across yourself on penalties makes it harder to get the ball right in the corner, theoretically giving the goalkeeper more chance of saving the spot kick.

Agreed, although I have always found personally that going across myself as a right footer into the bottom left (as I look at the goal) I am able to generate more power on the penalty.

[Spoonsky]

What? You're saying kicking the ball with your right foot into the left corner of the goal (as you, the kicker, look at it) is more difficult than kicking it with your right foot into the right corner? No it's not. You'd have to open your body up far too much to put it in the right corner and the keeper would see where you're going.

You don't have to open that much if you run at it from a tight enough angle.

[SvN]

http://metro.co.uk/2015/10/29/chelsea-owner-roman-abramovich-lining-up-andre-villas-boas-as-jose-mourinho-replacement-report-5468848/

How amazing would that be?

[Spoonsky]

I hope they sign Brendan.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was thinking earlier (it was a shit day), let's say money is no object. How much would it cost each for Mourinho and Pep Guardiola to agree to go in as joint managers? Together they've got everything you need. £100 million a year each would surely do it.