F1 2023 (Sponsored by Ferrari strategists)

[Ben]

Haas kick off the car reveals (sort of) at 2pm today so we might as well do this now. We start a full two weeks earlier than 2022.

Calendar TRANSFERS:
- Qatar returns after a year off, again at Lusail after plans for a new circuit stalled.
- Las Vegas debuts with a street circuit literally on The Strip. This will take place on Saturday night local time.
- France are off the calendar again as traditional European circuits continue to fall by the wayside.
- China was briefly back before being re-fucked off due to their COVID-related immigration laws.



Grand Prix
Circuit
Date


Bahrain
Sakhir
March 5


Saudi Arabia
Jeddah
March 19


Australia
Melbourne
April 2


Azerbaijan
Baku
April 30


Miami
Miami Gardens
May 7


Emilia Romagna
Imola
May 21


Monaco
Monaco
May 28


Spain
Barcelona-Catalunya
June 4


Canada
Montreal
June 18


Austria
Spielberg
July 2


Great Britain
Silverstone
July 9


Hungary
Hungaroring
July 23


Belgium
Spa-Francorchamps
July 30


Netherlands
Zandvoort
August 27


Italy
Monza
September 3


Singapore
Marina Bay
September 17


Japan
Suzuka
September 24


Qatar
Lusail
October 8


United States
Austin
October 22


Mexico City
Mexico City
October 29


São Paulo
Interlagos
November 5


Las Vegas
Las Vegas
November 18


Abu Dhabi
Yas Marina
November 26



Team TRANSFERS:
- Honda are back. Well, they never left. But the name is back on the RBPT engine.

Driver TRANSFERS:
- Sebastian Vettel retired at the end of 2022.
- Fernando Alonso left Alpine to take up Vettel's seat at Aston Martin.
- Alpine then announced Oscar Piastri as the man to fill Alonso's seat.
- McLaren parted company with Daniel Ricciardo after two seasons. Ricciardo has since rejoined Red Bull as their reserve driver.
- Alpine forgot to provide Oscar Piastri with a valid contract so McLaren swooped him to sign him as Ricciardo's replacement.
- Alpine subsequently bought out Pierre Gasly's remaining contract with AlphaTauri to create a spicy All-French lineup alongside Esteban Ocon.
- AlphaTauri made an agreement with Mercedes for Nyck de Vries to fill the vacant seat left by Gasly.
- Williams parted company with Nicholas Latifi after three seasons and replaced him with F2 Rookie of the Year Logan Sargeant.
- Mick Schumacher was let go by Haas after two seasons, to be replaced by Nico Hülkenburg. Schumacher subsequently joined Mercedes as reserve driver.



Constructor
Car
Engine
Drivers


Alfa Romeo
C43
Ferrari
(24) Guanyu Zhou
(77) Valtteri Bottas


AlphaTauri
AT04
Honda RBPT
(21) Nyck de Vries
(22) Yuki Tsunoda


Alpine
A523
Renault
(10) Pierre Gasly
(31) Esteban Ocon


Aston Martin
AMR23
Mercedes
(14) Fernando Alonso
(18) Lance Stroll


Ferrari
SF-23
Ferrari
(16) Charles Leclerc
(55) Carlos Sainz Jr.


Haas
VF-23
Ferrari
(20) Kevin Magnussen
(27) Nico Hülkenberg


McLaren
MCL37
Mercedes
(4) Lando Norris
(81) Oscar Piastri


Mercedes
W14
Mercedes
(44) Lewis Hamilton
(63) George Russell


Red Bull
RB19
Honda RBPT
(1) Max Verstappen
(11) Sergio Perez


Williams
FW45
Mercedes
(2) Logan Sargeant
(23) Alexander Albon



Technical rule changes:
- Floor edges and diffuser to be raised to counter porpoising.
- Roll hoops will require a rounded top to prevent a repeat of Zhou Guanyu's crash at the 2022 British Grand Prix.
- FIA closed a loophole which allowed slot gap separators on front wings.
- Side mirror size increases 50mm.
- Total car weight is reduced 2kg to 796kg, whilst power unit weight increases 1kg to 151kg.
- Minimum fuel temperature reduced by 10°C.

Sporting rule changes:
- At two races in 2023, a new qualifying format will be trialled. Assuming the session is dry, teams must run the hard tyre in Q1, medium in Q2 and soft in Q3. This is aimed at reducing overall tyre usage and total sets available will be cut from 13 to 11 at these trial Grands Prix.
- A new tyre compound is available in 2023, between the existing C1 and C2 compounds. This is due to teams complaining about the C1 being shit.
- Budget cap (!) reduced $5m to $135m.
- Pre-season testing is cut in half from 2022 levels, down to three days from six.
- Sprint races will now be run at six events, up from three in the previous two seasons. These will take place at the Azerbaijan, Austrian, Belgian, Qatar, United States and São Paulo Grands Prix.
- Any political, religious or personal gestures will be dealt with in a manner the ruling Arabs see fit.
- COVID regulations are no more. Proof of COVID vaccination no longer required to gain entry to the paddock.

[Ben]

Looks like Sky are gearing up to bring back Rosberg as a co-commentator/analyst after the vaccine laws were dropped. They've made room for this by firing Herbert and Di Resta into the sun.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I would much rather listen to Johnny Herbert than Nico Rosberg, guess they've fallen for the 'relevant' fallacy.

[Ben]

I assume Herbert will carry on with F1TV doing podium interviews and the like.

[Giggles]

There is no part of the planet outside your garden walls that listening to Johnny Herbert could be considered a good thing.

[7om]

Surprised it took this long for di Resta. Never cared much for his technical analysis and he had the personality of a garden slug.

The new Haas livery is quite nice. Reminds me of some of the old Minardi liveries.

[Ben]

In the era of having to remove paint to save weight (lol), I think we'll see more teams incorporating plenty of "black" into their liveries this year like Haas have done.

[Disco]

I love Johnny Herbert, he had a superb run in F1 given he barely had one functioning foot but as with Damon Hill I have had to admit that his punditry is frequently awful and completely off the wall.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Damon Hill's is a bit bizarre sometimes.

Pretty hard finding good pundits, given that drivers are all mega-selfish weirdos and technical people are all ultra-focused drones who speak in that same nasal one-tone voice with no ability to use emphasis in sentences. There aren't many in the sport who have the reflective qualities needed to communicate well. Brundle does and I would say Button does to a degree even if I find him a bit oleaginous. I like Chandhok as well, though I'm aware not everyone does. Proper enthusiast for the sport.

[Ben]

Chandhok is excellent.

[Gray Fox]

Am I reading right that Mick Schumacher is now reserve driver for both Mercedes and McLaren?

[Shindig]

Yeah, he's available to spend time between both teams. Not sure how I feel about that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Clearly in it for the courtesy cars.

[Shindig]

Or it's a sneaky way to stretch the budget of both teams.

[Disco]

I think it's more that reserve driver is a pretty pointless role so you might as well have a recognisable name in there who can chip in with promotional work etc.

[Disco]

New thread new old bullshit to annoy you all with.

I missed Argentina but as I recall this had almost everything happening all at once for the entire race as well as David Coulthard cementing a lifelong reputation by spinning repeatedly and crashing into Michael Schumacher.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oav-1YBkqJE


Following that is Imola 98 where again it's Mclarens race to lose, I wonder how they will manage it this time. The Ferrari renaissance continues apace and while you can begin to see the cracks appearing in Murrays commentary (not a fan of Shinji Nakano) there's also some lovely little moments between him and Brundle.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czB02NTjaGw&list=WL&index=42


And as a little (we all have two hours to spare on a Wednesday night right?) 'bonus'.....

....we reach back into the Yank Bank to see what they were doing with a V8 motor and a wonky chassis at about the same time. Do it for Dale and associated americana.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCaGIBbCr3M

[Shindig]

Ford moving back into the old Jaguar garage. Oof.

[Ben]

Jaguar became Red Bull did it not? Nice continuity I suppose.

[Adramelch]

Or it's a sneaky way to stretch the budget of both teams.

If you meant salary-wise, those don't count towards the cap I think?

[Ben]

Only the top three earners are exempt. So in the case of Mercedes, they can write off Wolff, Hamilton and Russell but everyone else is on the books.

[Gray Fox]

So are Ford entering as a separate entity in 2026 or are they stickering their badge over another teams?

It will be nice if we can start to get more than a 10 team grid as a regular thing. More competition and chance for drivers to shine etc.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Joining the Red Bulls, although you'd have to think post-Mateschitz at some point RB involvement will move on.

[Adramelch]

Only the top three earners are exempt. So in the case of Mercedes, they can write off Wolff, Hamilton and Russell but everyone else is on the books.

I thought it was the drivers + top three.

[Shindig]

I hope Murray spends all of 1998 calling every Renault engine Mechachromes.

[John Arne]

The noise :drool:

1622661641971146752

[Jimmy Floyd]

I saw a video the other day of Liam Lawson taking an RB7 around Mount Panorama (I'm sure it's out there somewhere), you realise what we're missing now. Still, it means you can hear Crofty talk about how powerful the undercut is a lot more clearly.

[SincereTheRebel]

Black car all but confirmed by Merc :drool:

[Ben]

It's all about weight saving (black = no paint, look at the new Alfa for instance) but they can use it to take the moral high ground again. Win win.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think they need to do something about that, or else all the cars will just end up black. Scottish Widows McLaren.

[Disco]

Black is better than grey and we don't want a return to those years.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/64572992

This is a weird one, he's only been there five minutes and it's a job where the bar is only as high as not having a nazi spank orgy in your motorhome.

[Disco]

Monaco 98 (we're skipping Spain because it was crap, Hakinnen won by forever) notable for being the second race at which ITV have deployed their sick drum and bass intro, Jim got Fat of the Land for christmas evidently. These cars look a handful round here, dare I say it helped by the grooved tyres. Proper St Devote looks good too, they should put that back.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Fq3gc0GRjA&list=WL&index=33

Do also tune in to about 45mins where Tony Jardine gives the most generous description of fucking someone into the barrier I've ever heard.

[Jimmy Floyd]

After 5 corners of the first lap Murray says 'Probably only 10 of the 21 cars will finish'. 11 finished. Unbelievable.

[Disco]

A race of attrition which is the only way Monaco ever works.

[Shindig]

Another fun Alex Wurz race. What a top lad.

[Disco]

Speaking of Alex Wurz it's Canada 98, a race where everyone seems to go crazy and which audibly ages Murray Walker. One of those inevitable Schumacher victories where no matter what happens he aways seems to end up about a minute ahead, look out for a cameo by a young Mattia Binotto celebrating at the end.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic6Vt3qyU9w&list=WL&index=22

[Jimmy Floyd]

The first start is chaotic enough, but the second one is absolute madness. Hakkinen gets away fine but then when he tries to hit maybe 4th gear the thing gives up (can only assume it was transmission?) and the effect of them all trying to dive out of his way is Jean Alesi getting mullered by Wurz and Trulli yet again. Your heart bleeds.

[Shindig]

My favourite part is Diniz's agriculture. I don't think I've ever seen someone do that before or since. Also, big fan of Schumacher spooking Frentzen straight out of the pits.

[Disco]

Wasn't there some astroturf recently, I'm remembering astroturf for some reason.

[Disco]

I love a bit of nominative determinism and US Supercross this year has not only Nate Thrasher but Jet Lawrence. Add in Scott Speed and you've almost got the basis for a Happy Families deck.

[Ben]

Black car all but confirmed by Merc :drool:

Some goof accidentally leaked a photo which confirms this.

[Gray Fox]

The W14E PERFORMANCE is indeed all black. They seem to have put the numbers/trim on Lewis' car as a yellow and on Georges' as a neon green in order to tell them apart at a glance.

[Ben]

Good because I'm fucked if I'm learning T-cam colours to differentiate them. Mercedes were a nightmare the last few years.

It's more bare carbon than all black. I reckon it'll look mean as fuck after a GP in a dirty environment (like Turkey the other year). At least Toto had the balls to admit it's all for weight saving unlike some of the other principals claiming theirs is part of a nice livery.

[Gray Fox]

The name suggests they're turning up in Bahrain sidepodless again.

Interesting that they seem to be the only team that think that's the way to go, after Williams abandoned the idea. The talk was that they've sussed out the big issue was rear suspension related, but it was parts they were locked into for a season.

[Disco]

Good because I'm fucked if I'm learning T-cam colours to differentiate them. Mercedes were a nightmare the last few years.


If only there were some unique identifier on each car they could just make a bit bigger and solve this problem forever.

[Disco]

The name suggests they're turning up in Bahrain sidepodless again.

Interesting that they seem to be the only team that think that's the way to go, after Williams abandoned the idea. The talk was that they've sussed out the big issue was rear suspension related, but it was parts they were locked into for a season.

That's the impression I've gotten from all the off season chatter, they knew the root of the problem with the design but lacked the time or budget to correct it during the season. Hopefully they'll be back on the pace so we can laugh at Ferrari as well as enjoying a half decent title contest.

[Ben]

Ferrari's rear wing looks fucking great, though.

https://cdn-wp.thesportsrush.com/2023/02/776ed467-untitled-design-30.jpg

[Disco]

Maybe this is their year....

[Clunge]

That Merc looks mean as fuck. And there's something about the Ferrari that reminds me of the mid to late-90s, which is no bad thing.

[Shindig]

That's the impression I've gotten from all the off season chatter, they knew the root of the problem with the design but lacked the time or budget to correct it during the season. Hopefully they'll be back on the pace so we can laugh at Ferrari as well as enjoying a half decent title contest.

I always thought the problem with the lack of sidepods would be overheating.

[SincereTheRebel]

I always thought the problem with the lack of sidepods would be overheating.

I thought similar.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The red car reminds me of the run of red cars pre-Marlboro sponsorship which, without checking, I'm going to put as 1988-92 or something of that ilk. Quite a nice sleek look. Alas now, as then, maintained and strategised by a bunch of mafiosi smashed on grappa.

[Giggles]

You forgot pasta for bingo.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just be glad Jordan are no longer going.

[Disco]

I seem to remember it being lack of floor stability that was one of the big problems with no sidepods, everything moved about too much and fucked up the air flow under the floor.

[Giggles]

Just be glad Jordan are no longer going.

True begorrah. Only for Hill was behind the wheel I’d say you’d have threw stuff around the house you tiny man.

[Disco]

It's difficult to argue when you see the results of binning the rigatoni in favour of some lads from Enstone (and Pretoria).

Like France 98 where the only thing more terrible than the track is Mclarens pit stops, imagine getting rattled by Eddie Irvine smug bastard that he is.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5llQb-L70Qg

[Gray Fox]

Even the Alpine has lost a fair bit of its colour.

[Shindig]

Eddie Irvine was such a good wingman. I didn't really appreciate him back in the day but this and the Suzuka masterclass have turned my head.

[Disco]

Silverstone 98 where the classic British summer catches almost everyone out, Damon Hills annus horibilis continues, Jim wins polo watch with a sumptuous lemon number, and Schumacher cheats to win.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMcs7SuhBg&list=WL&index=20

[Jimmy Floyd]

The fact that Hill will (spoiler alert) go on to win a race in '98 is an absolute joke.

[Shindig]

Part of me wonders what he could've done if he stayed at Arrows for an extra year.

[Disco]

Repeatedly stall a black car rather than a yellow one.

[phonics]

I think a proper book on the rise and fall of Jordan would be a fantastic read and an absolute money maker of a docuseries on Netflix.

[Disco]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/64709945

Alonso getting to work early.

[Shindig]

Patrick Head was busy in that British GP. Barrelled an ITV camera man out of the way during Villeneuve's stop and then nearly walked into Ralf Schumacher when crossing the pitlane.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think a proper book on the rise and fall of Jordan would be a fantastic read and an absolute money maker of a docuseries on Netflix.

Netflix should do an 8 part series on mental 90s F1 teams.

Ep 1: Simtek. The only introduction. Contains the colour purple, Jos Verstappen, death and bankruptcy: a case study in how not to do it.
Ep 2: Minardi, the greatest underdogs of them all
Ep 3: Jordan, the success story
Ep 4: Pacific, the junior formula studs who completely fucked up F1.
Ep 5: Andrea Moda, the worst team of all time
Ep 6: Prince Malik and T-Minus Arrows
Ep 7: Moneytron Onyx and Jean Pierre Van Rossem
Ep 8: Stewart, the last ever team to go it alone

Commission me, Netflix.

[Shindig]

You could probably lump Life and Mastercard Lola in an episode, too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Forgot about them. Bin Stewart and Pacific.

[Gray Fox]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/64709945

Alonso getting to work early.

I've seen some speculation that this could also cause him to miss at least some of the first race weekend. We might get to see what Drugovich has a lot sooner than expected.

[niko_cee]

Merc looks like it has very aggressive floor/sidepod/skirt edges.

Looks to be noticeably less light visible under it than most other cars.

[Disco]

Stroll supposedly has broken both wrists, if that's true then I don't see how he makes the first race.

[Ben]

I don't understand why Alonso isn't in the car for the full three days otherwise. The only explanation is Stroll is fucked and Drugovich will be required at the first GP.

[Pleb]

That Alpine doesn't feel me with confidence.

[Gray Fox]

Obviously we dont know what kind of fuel, engine mode and just general sandbagging bollocks is going on, but it's good to see this year we dont have cars bouncing about.

McLaren and Alpine really not putting many laps in here though.

[Disco]

I don't understand why Alonso isn't in the car for the full three days otherwise. The only explanation is Stroll is fucked and Drugovich will be required at the first GP.

Hard to see how you come back that quickly from breaking both wrists, one maybe but with both you can't compensate at all. If that's my team and I face the prospect of Felipe Drugovich driving my F1 car then I'm going to give him as many laps as possible.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Daddy Stroll must be SEETHING.

[Disco]

He probably pushed him off.

[Shindig]

Does he have Robert Kubica's number?

[John Arne]

I can't just be me who finds all F1 presenters absolutely insufferable.

Will Buxton the main culprit, but all the new people are just so incredibly either dull, mumble through most bits, or just try some shit banter.

Being careful of what I'm saying... I don't think the admirable aim of diversity has necessarily helped the coverage at all.

Sam Collins is the exception. He's great.

[Ben]

Buxton is a twat yes.

[Gray Fox]

Without reading anything into the times and just going by eye, that Mercedes looks a bit light on the rear coming out of turn 2.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've not read any times, read halfway down one BBC article and it's another Max/RB walkover season.

[Gray Fox]

Either Mercedes and Ferrari are being very restrained and refusing to try to match the pace that Red Bull are showing off, or they simply don't have it.

I've looked back over the seasons before last years regulation change and in all of them, by the end of the test, the fastest times were usually representative of where the cars sat for the seasons start.

[Ben]

I don't think sandbagging is much of a thing anymore. Red Bull are probably genuinely that far ahead. Sigh.

[Gray Fox]

I think there's a little going on, however it does seem like it is going to be a year of Horner smug face.

[7om]

If Stroll can’t make it, I really wouldn’t be surprised if Merc allowed Mick to fill in.

[Gray Fox]

Seems the sandbags came out this morning.

[Gray Fox]

So now the final shakedowns are happening it seems there's a little bit of an order to things.

Red Bull look a decent half second clear. Ferrari and Mercedes seem around the same level, though the latter seems to need to get a grip on the rear out of traction zones. Then Aston are probably a smidge off and then after that it could be anything.

The Alpine and the McLaren both look horrid.

[Disco]

Various Mercedes bods seem to be saying they'll be in contention for wins once the first big upgrade package arrives in time for Baku. Which all sounds like arse covering to me, I'm expecting a repeat of last season.

[Gray Fox]

The problem on the Merc is the back end is getting quite twitchy. I have heard the same thing about a big upgrade coming on for Baku. It does however look a lot smoother in every other aspect.

There's still a little bouncing on the Ferrari, but it also seems to have the pace enough for second.

[Ben]

Red Bull are so far ahead. Aston are a nice surprise on current evidence. Alpine looks stiff as a board but they’re all upbeat about their chances in typical French fashion. McLaren at least admitting their car is trash.

[Shindig]

The best thing for this sport now is for Adrian Newey to drop dead.

[Giggles]

We’ll know fuck all until race 1 qualifying.

[Ben]

Will Buxton being full of shit as usual.

1629768214283534336

[Jimmy Floyd]

If Merc are behind Aston Martin they should give up and go home.

[Gray Fox]

I actually dont think he's far off there. After some digging over long run data and GPS etc, a lot of the paddock now thinks actually Aston Martin and in a much better position in regards race pace and believe they could match Ferrari in week 1.
I'd swap Williams and McLaren myself.

The outlier in all of this is Alpine. Their car looked stiff and horrible but seemed okay when it got its act together. They could genuinely be anywhere.

However in great news:

1630160880565469185

[Ben]

That fastest lap from Alonso was quite telling actually. Faster than the Red Bull through the slower corners and he ran a higher drag and no DRS on the C4 (I think) tyre.

But I still think Mercedes are faster. And apparently their Baku update is significant (would be sooner but the early season is fly away and quirky track, even more than usual).

[Ben]

Someone at Aston Martin reckons Alpine were sandbagging big time at the test. Normally I'd laugh at that but their testing programme was immensely strange: turn up, drive around slow for a bit, don't test the softest tyres, go home.

It could just be that they're shite, mind.

[Gray Fox]

It has to remembered now that they are all French.

[Disco]

Time for a name change and another five year plan.

[Disco]

Hungary 98. Say what you like about the ITV coverage but their choice of intro music remains absolutely banging. A classic tactical battle in Hungary worth posting just to watch Michael Schumacher rag the absolute shit out of his Ferrari in an effort to keep up with the far superior Mclarens. Ferrari have A PLAN to beat them, which appears to be employing Michael Schumacher and asking him to drive very quickly please, but can they pull it off?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myhGehSrOFQ&list=WL&index=26

[Disco]

I almost forgot the most important part, after a year and a half of ITV covering the sport polo watch pays off as Jim Rosenthal has UNDONE THE TOP BUTTON. What a day.

[Pepe]

:lol:

[Giggles]

That Bottas mullet is majestic.

[Waffdon]

1631684571426181120

What a fanny. Shouldn’t even be allowed racing if he’s like that.

[niko_cee]

Please let Aston be the real deal. Alonso v Verstappen has so much lol potential.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1631684571426181120

What a fanny. Shouldn’t even be allowed racing if he’s like that.

£10 on him wiping someone out on race day.

[Disco]

£10 on him wiping someone out on race day.

That's a good bet on any weekend.

[Ben]

I was a year early with my "El Plan" tagline. Alonso is winning the championship lads.

[Gray Fox]

I reckon the Bulls might find that bit extra with Max here.

I suspect Ferrari weren't showing their full hand yet either.

[Ben]

Oh that was firmly tongue in cheek. I fully expect Max to break records this season.

[Gray Fox]

Not if they're going to throw red flags for things as little as this.

[Ben]

What's taking them so long to get it going again? Three cars on track and the bit of debris about 30 metres from the nearest marshall.

[Gray Fox]

Two pieces of a Ferrari just flinging off while going down the straight should warrant it going to the scrutineers tbf.

I kept expecting them to show a car that had stopped somewhere, but if it's for that tiny piece of debris...

[Ben]

It was for that little bit on turn 1. The bit that came off on the straight fucked off into the stands.

[Gray Fox]

If this Q1 is at all representative we have 4 teams with very similar pace at the front.

[Ben]

I am still to be convinced it won't be Red Bull winning tomorrow but at least they've had to burn another set of softs here in Q1. Shows they're not completely comfortable with their position.

[Gray Fox]

Hamilton and both Bulls having to get back out there again in Q1. This could be a great race.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hulkenberg on the brisk side by the looks.

[Gray Fox]

Hulkenberg on the brisk side by the looks.

Illegally so unfortunately.

Leclerc throwing in the towel is very French of him.

[Disco]

Red Bull 1-2, what a shock. As you were from last year by the looks of it, with the addition of Aston just behind Mercedes.

[7om]

Just hope that Red Bull reduced wind tunnel time will have an impact. Great to see Aston Martin make such big strides from last season as well.

[niko_cee]

I see Mercedes are now publicly reconciled to the fact that their funky design is a dud, won't work and needs to be 'reconsidered'.

[Waffdon]

Another year or Norris in a tractor, Merc waiting for upgrades after one weekend, Ferrari being Ferrari and Red Bull breaking more records. Woo.

[Gray Fox]

Toto seems to think they're more like 0.4 off as he thinks they would have naturally improved if they had a new set of softs like the Bulls and Ferrari did.

However it's amazing how quickly it's gone from this upgrade package for Baku will put us right with Red Bull, to we need improvement from the upgrade package or we're toast.

[niko_cee]

Be quite funny if they turn up to Baku with something that looks a lot like the Aston.

[Shindig]

I can't see them going that far. They seem so into the lack of sidepods and narrow nose.

[Disco]

Be quite funny if they turn up to Baku with something that looks a lot like the Aston.

This is the dream.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've tried hard to find this on Chilean TV but the closest thing I can muster is A Knight's Tale, horribly dubbed into Spanish. RIP Heath Ledger, we hardly knew you.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lance Stroll trying to take out Alonso :harold:

[John Arne]

It's not easy to quickly identify the cars... half the grid look the same.

[Waffdon]

3 seconds clear already. :lol:

[Waffdon]

Mclaren are a joke.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Piastri :(

He deserved better than this ffs.

[SincereTheRebel]

It's not easy to quickly identify the cars... half the grid look the same.

Yeah, I've noticed that you

[John Arne]

I'm almost done with this. Not at all entertaining.

[Waffdon]

Yeah, this is somehow more boring than Merc winning every year. We aren’t even getting entertaining duals for the podiums, nobody is close enough to make a move lol

[SincereTheRebel]

I dont like these penalties. They should punish the team, not the driver. Ocon didn't mess up during the penalty in the pit.

[Gray Fox]

Get Bernies sprinklers out ffs.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ocon :lol:

[Disco]

This is pretty bad, we need Strulovich to run into his team mate a few more times.

[Disco]

Fastest lap in 18th, don't try too hard lads.

[Waffdon]

Ferrari should have at least stayed out for a while longer and finished on softs or something. Boring fucks

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Alonso (and Ocon) providing a bit of entertainment.

[Waffdon]

Missed you so much Ferrari xoxoxo

At least make it a proper safety car for some entertainment. Jesus Christ.

[Ben]

If not for Alonso this would be the worst race of all time.

[Giggles]

Piastri :(

He deserved better than this ffs.

He didn’t though.

[Giggles]

I'm almost done with this. Not at all entertaining.

I’d say it won’t be long until Wolff is smiling so hang in there. Boring :harold:

[John Arne]

I’d say it won’t be long until Wolff is smiling so hang in there. Boring :harold:

Sorry, you lost me.

[Gray Fox]

He's trying to say you wouldn't be moaning if they were shouting GET IN THERE LEWIS, at the end.

[7om]

Quite worrying for the season ahead if the Red Bulls are gonna be that far ahead. I don’t know what Merc are doing but they’ve completely shit the bed since the new regs came in and they don’t seem clued up on how to turn it around. And I have zero confidence in Ferrari doing anything competently so it’s quite a depressing thought to think we’re going to have to suffer that smug cunt Horner every week.

[Giggles]

He's trying to say you wouldn't be moaning if they were shouting GET IN THERE LEWIS, at the end.

Exactly. The sport is only FUCKED when it’s not going the way you want.

That’s probably the last two pages here in fairness. Concern for F1 being a mask around what is basically “Lewis isn’t handily winning so it’s shit”.

[Luke Emia]

Exactly. The sport is only FUCKED when it’s not going the way you want.

That’s probably the last two pages here in fairness. Concern for F1 being a mask around what is basically “Lewis isn’t handily winning so it’s shit”.

I don’t care who wins. I just want to see close races and we don’t get enough of that there’s been one close season in the last what 10?

[7om]

I don’t care who wins, I just want to see DRAMA. Max (or anyone else) winning by large margins just isn’t that entertaining.

[Shindig]

Even dominance has a story behind it. Best driver on the grid in the best car and nobody can figure out anything close. It's been kind of the norm for modern F1. The only difference is the space between the cars.

[Giggles]

I don’t care who wins. I just want to see close races and we don’t get enough of that there’s been one close season in the last what 10?


I don’t care who wins, I just want to see DRAMA. Max (or anyone else) winning by large margins just isn’t that entertaining.

:lol:

Of course Hamilton waltzing to wins was fantastic viewing.

I’m guilty of it myself as I don’t care how good it is when Merc are losing - at least just own it.

[7om]

Hamilton winning easily wasn’t fantastic viewing though. The only person with hang ups about Hamilton seems to be you. Weird.

[John Arne]

Do you think we are all 13yr old Lewis fanboys?

I'm a 40yr old F1 fan, I want entertainment, that's it.

[Giggles]

Hamilton winning easily wasn’t fantastic viewing though. The only person with hang ups about Hamilton seems to be you. Weird.

Keep amusing me if you like but that’s absolute bollocks. That’s the single source of all the frothing here for the last couple of years.

”Entertainment” :D

[Luke Emia]

Hamilton winning easily wasn’t fantastic viewing though. The only person with hang ups about Hamilton seems to be you. Weird.

Yes. I like Max, I don’t mind Hamilton but I don’t find watching Max streaking off at the front entertaining.

[Shindig]

Aside from the Red Bulls running away from it, there were some good scraps out there. Alonso's racecraft hasn't missed a beat. Leclerc offering up no resistance for 2nd place is a bit telling.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I prefer Hamilton winning by miles to Verstappen winning by miles, but consistent close racing is better than either.

That said, I don't think consistent close racing will ever happen again unless they turn it into a joke formula with wacky races rules. In the era of ultra-reliability, once somebody has the aerodynamic upper hand that's it, they should win every race pretty easily - the exceptions being if you had a particularly weak driver pair in the best car, or there were somehow loads of venues that didn't suit that car, or there was rain at the wrong times etc. To get a battle like 2021 you have to have a lot of things run in your favour, it'll only happen once every ten years or so.

In the era of unreliability it was very different as there were all sorts of things that could derail your race. Nowadays, someone like Hamilton or Verstappen or hypothetically Leclerc will just win from the front if they're in the quickest machine.

[niko_cee]

Fastest lap in 18th, don't try too hard lads.

Yeah, I thought this. Proper end of days 'management'.

[Shindig]

I prefer Hamilton winning by miles to Verstappen winning by miles, but consistent close racing is better than either.

That said, I don't think consistent close racing will ever happen again unless they turn it into a joke formula with wacky races rules. In the era of ultra-reliability, once somebody has the aerodynamic upper hand that's it, they should win every race pretty easily - the exceptions being if you had a particularly weak driver pair in the best car, or there were somehow loads of venues that didn't suit that car, or there was rain at the wrong times etc. To get a battle like 2021 you have to have a lot of things run in your favour, it'll only happen once every ten years or so.

In the era of unreliability it was very different as there were all sorts of things that could derail your race. Nowadays, someone like Hamilton or Verstappen or hypothetically Leclerc will just win from the front if they're in the quickest machine.

I'm still amazed Alonso's suspension survived Lance's tap. Alonso nicked someone's Pirelli and it didn't even budge.

[thommo]

Yeah, I thought this. Proper end of days 'management'.

In fairness, Bahrain is always a ridiculously abrasive surface, tyre management is pretty key to get to the end. You see a lot of drivers fall off a cliff particularly in F2 if they take too much out of the tyres.

[niko_cee]

It's just really dull though if no one can push. Who ended up fastest lap? Gasly on a set of hard tyres? I mean, fair enough if someone stick on some softs under the VSC late, but come on. Wait, did Zhou do that? It's just dreadful to watch.

Fastest laps, Zhou [P16], Norris [P17], Gasly [P9], all of them over a second clear of Verstappen. :cab:

[Disco]

Italy 98, a race that was not only introduced by the now incorrigibly casual Jim Rosenthal but was also much better than the tripe we watched on Sunday.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kuuZyK2PlI&list=WL&index=37

Yes I missed Belgium 98, probably nothing happened.

[Giggles]

Is there a race this weekend?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not until next weekend at the world famous Jeddah Corniche circuit. After that there's only one more until 30 April.

[Giggles]

That’s some load of melt.

[niko_cee]

At least it gives Newey and co a bit of time to make sure the RBwhateveritis is even further ahead when more normal race scheduling returns [is this big gap due to China being China?].

[Ben]

Yeah. Supposedly Portimao were close to replacing it (it was so close it was being advertised locally) but in the end got canned for logistical reasons.

[Shindig]

Yeah, I wouldn't fancy that trek to Europe and back either.

[Gray Fox]

Apparently Mercedes are panicking so hard that James Alisson is back in the team.

Amazing how quickly they've gone from cautious optimism to DOOOOOOOOOOMED.

[7om]

Apparently Mercedes are panicking so hard that James Alisson is back in the team.

Amazing how quickly they've gone from cautious optimism to DOOOOOOOOOOMED.

I thought Toto’s comments after Bahrain were stunning. Where you usually get the corporate spiel, he came right out and said the car is not good enough and the upgrades in the pipeline aren’t good enough. Incredible, really. Can they even design a new car this early in the season?

[Ben]

They could in theory but the budget cap prevents them doing anything too drastic.

[Disco]

When was the last time anyone closed a performance gap without a rule change? The grid will almost certainly remain largely the same through to 2026.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, I was trying to think of a major reg change ever not ending up with 1 team being mega dominant. It's a bit of a shame as for all the 'closer racing' we now have, the last season under the old regs, when everyone had had time to catch Mercedes, was the best for many a year and there's a good chance Red Bull would have been on top had everything continued under those regs the following season anyway, but it would have been more interesting to watch. What are they doing in 2026? Is that going to be another case of the field catching Red Bull this time only to have another major change reset everything to single team dominance again for a while?

If it's a budget cap thing maybe they should just suck it up and blow it out. What sort of sanction are they going to get which a vastly better car for the next however many years wouldn't easily offset?

[Shindig]

The surprise to me is how different Mercedes are still being in terms of car design. Who else is doing those sidepods or that thin nose? They've chose the wrong direction but someone stubbornly thought "Ah, we'll get it right next year."

[Disco]

They can't copy Red Bull now, Christian Horner will laugh at them.

[Shindig]

He's never laughed genuinely in his life. A smug smile is all he can muster.

[Disco]

Luxembourg 98, from Germany of course and it's another Mika Masterclass as the Flying Finn sticks it to the son of a bricklayer in his own backyard. One race left, 16 rounds feels like about half a season compared to today.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQkd7sOyj78&list=WL&index=28

[Gray Fox]

Leclerc hit with a grid penalty for Saudi, so kiss goodbye any chance of a race at the front.

Interestingly the Italian media are already rounding on Ferrari. They aren't short of reports of widespread discontent inside the team and apparently Leclerc himself has been to the higher ups for meetings on what they're going to do about giving him a better car.

[niko_cee]

Good going to use an entire season's allocation of something in half a race.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They shouldn't have sacked Binotto. Obviously he isn't called Adrian Newey and isn't a designer, ergo wasn't going to design a better car than Adrian Newey, but he clearly kept the team going in one direction.

[Ben]

They've binned/lost/reassigned everyone but the strategists recently, which is poetic.

[John Arne]

How did Ferrari break 2 control units, when only one was on the car during the race??

Edit: one broke just prior to the start of the race.

[Waffdon]

Verstappen 1/4 to win the race :lol:

I don’t think I’ve seen odds that short in a while. Hope he wins every race and breaks the records if no one else is getting near them again.

[Shindig]

I would like to see a 100% once in my lifetime.

[Giggles]

I doubt it’s even near possible.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Someone would surely torpedo the cunt near the back end of the calendar if he was close to a 100%.

[Adramelch]

Also mechanical issues, which makes me wonder, how often has a driver finished a full season without any sort of mechanical issues? Can't be a very common occurrence.

[Shindig]

Reliability always seems to sneak into it. I'm trying to think who's come closest in a modern context. Hamilton, Schumacher and Vettel had credible teammates doing enough to take the odd win.

Drivers finishing a season with no major mechanical problems? Schumacher in 2002. Finished every race on the podium.

[Adramelch]

Yeah, I meant no major mechanical issues as in no DNFs basically.

[7om]

Who could have predicted that we’re only on the second race of the season and it’s Aston Martin we’re relying on to make this interesting.

Max to win by 30 seconds.

[Shindig]

Ah, they'll get a win in Hungary. :uhoh:

[Ben]

Red Bull are so far ahead in Jeddah. The winning margin will be huge. Only Aston Martin getting within a second because Ferrari have turned their engines down for fear of them blowing up.

[Disco]

FP3 looked pretty bleak for everyone else, Perez absolutely stealing a living he's that far behind.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Logan Sargeant is enjoying Q1.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well this could make things interesting tomorrow...

[Ben]

This will make tomorrow interesting if they can’t fix it. He will still win though.

[Giggles]

Not a hope you can guarantee anything here when a crash is just around the corner for anyone.

[Disco]

This lass on commentary has some awful combination of accents, I can't quite place it.

[Waffdon]

He’s doing it for the lolz to win from P14 tomorrow.

[SincereTheRebel]

He’s doing it for the lolz to win from P14 tomorrow.

:cab:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:drool:

Fuck the prick. Let's have a proper race tomorrow.

[Giggles]

The driver I want to win isn’t going to win now so I also think the sport is completely fucked and changes are needed.

[Disco]

He’s doing it for the lolz to win from P14 tomorrow.

It shouldn't even be long odds, harder to pass here than Spa but they have the advantage to do the same again.

[niko_cee]

Perez really needs to scamper off and hope someone takes Verstappen Jr* out for the good of the season, but he'll end up getting one of his tragic starts, probably crashing himself and then Verstappen Jr will win. Only good thing about that failure was seeing how annoyed Verstappen Sr** was, he's just just such a dick. Also quite liked the 'cut to Newey' semi-eye-roll as something failed on the mechanical side. Other teams would really want those failures to come in a race though, not too much damage done in qualifying.

*for the sake of [Giggles mandated] non-familiarity.
** as above

[niko_cee]

Tried to watch that Villeneave-Pironi thing, but missed the first 40 mins or so [and my sky box is being a dick with certain downloads at the moment] - what was the betrayal? So much death. Also got me to thinking about powerboat racing. Do they still do that? I remember it being a thing that came here in the late 80s and early 90s and they would parade all the boats around before racing, the proper big, I believe Arab funded ones, so I guess they're all out there if they still exist as a thing. So dangerous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjSuAqprceE&ab_channel=OffshorePowerBoatRacingVideos

[Disco]

Do they still do the round Britain race? I see the world thing has another winningly named American in Shaun Torrente, careers adviser in the states must be a piece of piss. I have seen short track powerboating in purpose built canals (ditches) but that's mostly rednecks and swamp dwellers driving a v8 attached to a bathtub

[Shindig]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formula_1_Powerboat_World_Championship

The answer would appear to be YES, in regards to F1 powerboating.

[niko_cee]

20ft long? Those thing are an embarrassment.

Team Victory was the one I was thinking of that ruled the roost in whenever it was.

[niko_cee]

Is this the circuit where the DRS is fucked and if you pass too soon you end up getting done over by it?

[Waffdon]

He’s still near enough the same odds as Perez to win. What a bloke.

If he doesn’t win hopefully Alonso brings it home.

[Ben]

Is this the circuit where the DRS is fucked and if you pass too soon you end up getting done over by it?

I’m not certain but common sense would hope they altered the zone distances this year. They did that in Bahrain and I don’t even recall it being a problem there last year.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Alonso yay but possibly nay :\

[Waffdon]

Mclaren double pit stop again already :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

McLaren are a joke.

Alonso :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If Hamilton could push Max into the wall as he goes past that would be great.

[Adramelch]

Verstappen's winning this isn't he?

[Ben]

The pit straight DRS is ridiculous again.

[Pepe]

Just tuned in to just see cars passing others freely on the straights. All of these new circuits are shit and DRS is a bit of a joke. Bring back the trains of yore.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pretty boring so far.

[Adramelch]

DRS is most definitely shit, they've just backed themselves into it with all the consecutive changes over the years.

[Pepe]

Logan Sargeant. What a name.

[Pepe]

Stop on track. :D

[Gray Fox]

Verstappen's winning this isn't he?

He is now.

[Waffdon]

Verstappen is winning this now of course.

Utter joke that was a safety car btw

[niko_cee]

Why on earth is that a full safety car [obvious reasons excluded]?

[Waffdon]

DRS. IT IS TIME TO GO.

That Red Bull DRS is a literal cheat code

[Pepe]

Fun.

[Waffdon]

Based on this, Russell is clearly the quicker driver of the two. Good on him not moving.

[niko_cee]

Verstappen figured out he doesn't need to worry about the DRS shenanigans, crazy how much faster they are.

[Ben]

This is so intriguing that they’ve had to resort to a Haas vs. Williams battle outside the points.

[niko_cee]

Red Bull would probably be best to hold station [in whatever order] 5 seconds ahead of the field to insulate themselves against being in the wrong place if/when there's another safety car.

[Disco]

How will they order Perez out of the way is the last thing to look out for.

[niko_cee]

Merc would probably be better getting Hamilton to DRS tow Russell along but their strategy has been rank bad for years now.

[Waffdon]

This is so intriguing that they’ve had to resort to a Haas vs. Williams battle outside the points.

:D

[Gray Fox]

The top 10 would be two-by-two here if not for that Strulovic retirement.

[niko_cee]

Verstappen should come in for softs to put the wind up Perez if they're not just going to move him over.

[Disco]

Nice radio from Perez, he knows they want to fuck him.

[Giggles]

Even though it would make you all more childish, Verstappen taking out himself and Perez going for a late overtake would be fairly lol.

[niko_cee]

:D

Both Red Bulls running outside track limits in formation quite a good encapsulation of modern circuit racing.

[Gray Fox]

Even though it would make you all more childish, Verstappen taking out himself and Perez going for a late overtake would be fairly lol.

I'd be bang up for this. If Red Bull are this dominant we need some inter-team drama.

[Giggles]

I thought Tsunoda had joined Haas for a second there, the cars are so similar.

[Pepe]

Why is McLaren so shit this year?

[Ben]

Max stealing the fastest lap. :D

[Waffdon]

Trying to make out Verstappen going for fastest lap is exciting :lol:

Sport is in the mud

[Gray Fox]

They sound more happy for Max than they do Checo.