Apprentice 2023: Is "Determination" A Weakness???

[Ian]

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/736x414_b/p0dss48j.jpg

The Apprentice 2023

Episode 1 air date: Thursday 5th of January (TONIGHT)

Hosts: Sugar, Brady and Tim Campbell. Claude is back for two episodes as aide.
Tom Allen on You're Fired.

The Dickheads: https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/736x414_b/p0dss48j.jpg

Top quotes:

What is your USP?

My unique selling point

So you don't have one. Got it.


What is your biggest weakness?

My biggest weakness is also my biggest stre-

https://64.media.tumblr.com/9953134242bba8140085688bc1ab9e0e/tumblr_oynkp4Ipw41relg8bo2_r1_500.gifv


What is your biggest weakness?

Some people think it’s a weakness, but I think it’s a skill. I am able to handle pressure

Oh yeah, good one pal, I've often been surrounded by composed, calm colleagues and thought "I wish this cunt would crumble under pressure a bit more." Trapdoor for you too.


What is your biggest weakness?

My biggest weakness, some could call a strength in my opinion, is sometimes being a little too unusual. Some people might think, ‘why did you go to Malta to fire cannons when you could be earning so much more in the City of London?’

....why DID you go to Malta to fire cannons? And why do you look like this?
https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/736x414_b/p0dss82b.jpg


What is your biggest weakness?

I remember when I first got diagnosed with Dyslexia

Shit origin story. NEXT.


“I’m always being compared to the Kim Kardashian of the business world because I’m doing business with a hint of glam.”

Erm. If there is a "Kim Kardashian of the business world" is that not, y'know, Kim Kardashian?


What is your USP?

My USP is my ADHD

:lol:

My favourite already is Simba:
https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/736x414_b/p0dssb5r.jpg
:cool:

Episode 1: "Lord Sugar's search for a new business partner is back, and this year's 18 candidates kick things off on the Caribbean island of Antigua. Under the watchful eye of Baroness Karren Brady and Claude Littner, the teams must sell and run bespoke tours. After bickering on the beach and some woeful negotiations, back in the boardroom, one candidate is sent packing."

Antigua. :drool: Now that's a proper task. Good riddance, lockdown.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Having read through all the weaknesses, I think precisely two of the 18 listed an actual weakness and didn't try to claim it was also a strength. Maybe even just one of them. Well done Bradley, you're my favourite to win.

[Ian]

Yep, first thing I noticed when I skimmed through.

[Shindig]

People need to stop thinking of disabilities as superpowers.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX4_MvOSdf8

Never forget.

[Lofty]

Suelle Braverman giving it large there.

[Yevrah]

On the weakness thing, it's such a shit fucking question to ask in the first place.

[Lofty]

That lad with the massive specs looks like he should be on the register.

[wullie]

I like the intros bit where Lord Sugar comes up with all the jokes off the top of his head and they all laugh at how funny he is.

[Lofty]

:D

Why are there people on here supposedly making over a million quid a year? Bollocks.

[7om]

Hopefully someone will punt the lad with the large specs into the ocean.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pigeon Beach is completely dead.

[Ian]

On the weakness thing, it's such a shit fucking question to ask in the first place.

It's not really, it's just in the bracket of questions designed to trip up wankers and morons. If they give a "good" answer it's a bullet dodged and you move on.

The USP question they asked them all is far worse.

[Ian]

Can't remember the name of the Sandhurst dickhead from years ago but this bloke is basically him, but with cannons. Shut the fuck up mate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Claude's reaction to her dancing :D

[wullie]

Cannon isn't lasting more than a week or two surely.

[7om]

So he’s allergic to wool and he fires cannons. Someone drown him, please.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You can see his stiffy next to the cannon.

[wullie]

Looking forward to see how they incorporate cannons into every task.

[Yevrah]

It's not really, it's just in the bracket of questions designed to trip up wankers and morons. If they give a "good" answer it's a bullet dodged and you move on.


I understand the point of it but it's been so universally used for years that if you're tripping someone up with it by this point your recruitment process to interview stage needs seriously looking at.

EDIT: I do see why The Apprentice uses it mind. Bants ahoy.

[Ian]

Have you conducted many interviews? Because I've done loads for jobs that aren't just entry level nonsense and you still get some absolute morons.

If you're doing it for jobs where people have all the qualifications and whatnot for something technical then I'd question it but these mugs can't find their arse with both hands.

[Shindig]

Yeah, you need questions like that to ditch the whoppers that can only sell themselves on paper.

[Yevrah]

Have you conducted many interviews?.

I've done loads and dropped the weaknesses question years ago having got bored listening to thoroughly rehearsed and untrue answers time and time again. Must be a different fields thing.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, you need questions like that to ditch the whoppers that can only sell themselves on paper.

How does it ditch the whoppers? It's not a remotely difficult question to lie about.

[Ian]

I've done loads and dropped the weaknesses question years ago having got bored listening to thoroughly rehearsed and untrue answers time and time again. Must be a different fields thing.

Oh I switched questions like that in and out depending how they were doing because as you say, you get fed up of the same shite. Was nice to deploy it for a suspected bellend and then actual chow down on the bait though.

Had a bloke once who literally didn't answer, he was so caught in the fear of not wanting to give the dickhead answer but thinking we'd go AHA! if he said anything bad at all that he just say and sweated until after about ten seconds I took pity and moved on.

You may also have just been interviewing a better class of idiot than me. :D

[Ian]

This feels like the first time in years the boys haven't been an absolute lolfest in week one. Unless that was just last year and I've imagined it into a streak.

All hail cannon man.

[Yevrah]

Oh I switched questions like that in and out depending how they were doing because as you say, you get fed up of the same shite. Was nice to deploy it for a suspected bellend and then actual chow down on the bait though.

Had a bloke once who literally didn't answer, he was so caught in the fear of not wanting to give the dickhead answer but thinking we'd go AHA! if he said anything bad at all that he just say and sweated until after about ten seconds I took pity and moved on.

You may also have just been interviewing a better class of idiot than me. :D

That is special. Now I think about it, it'll be because (almost) everyone one interviews in finance comes through an agency and has had that question drilled into them from an early stage of their career as a result.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Emma shouldn't have gone purely for demanding a double on week 1.

Emma :cool:

[Ian]

Breaking news: Harpreet and Akshay are DOING IT.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Breaking news: Harpreet and Akshay are DOING IT.

I'm still stunned that she stooped that low.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Adults only "Fancy" Glamping?

No wonder she was punted early doors.

[Ian]

Smooth work by Claude to be in the episode where he gets to go to Antigua then let Tim take over once they're cunting about in kitchens.

[Boydy]

Just caught a bit of this and one of them said they don't have bao in Yorkshire. They've got them in fucking Belfast these days.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I love when it's a task that they don't have experience in. You can seem them all shirking away from PM duties as quickly as possible.

[Ian]

All the guys have experience eating meat products. What are you talking about, Cannons?

[Ian]

just caught a bit of this and one of them said they don't have bao in yorkshire. They've got them in fucking belfast these days.
"We ent got non o them in Yaaarrrkshuh"

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That lass is clearly a ham, egg and chips in Spain/Cyprus type.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I love it when they can't get basic maths right.

[Ian]

"we found this great place in Portugal, it were called Geoff's Pub"

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A kilo of fish :D

[Ian]

That corpo fella is going to be gagging to ask for his money back.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why the fuck are they adding flowers and edible glitter?

[Ian]

Also that girls lips are not getting any less mental as I see them more often.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That corpo fella is going to be gagging to ask for his money back.

£3.95 for 6 Frozen duck bao buns at Tesco.

Much better quality for cheaper.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So many of these buns are going to explode.

[Ian]

Oh Christ those green ones look infected.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Every single one of the boys burst :D

You could see that the dough was too thin and they weren't rolled properly.

[Ian]

Those look like they're for a kid's birthday party.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"Load marshmallows into the box, we'll cover all our shitty bao".

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Dickhead didn't even look at every single bun ffs.

[Ian]

Well, fuck me, that went loads better than I thought.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

lol, wtf?

[Ian]

Maybe she's just realised they're too unbearable to spend weeks with.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Clear that the women were a lot better in that task.

The one who walked should have waited to enjoy the prize.

[Ian]

The pest control bloke looks distractingly like Chris Morris.

And Sohail looks a bit like Beni from the 90s Mummy film.

Edit. Not Sohail, wrong bloke altogether. Is his name Avi or something? The skinny bloke.

[Ian]

"For me, Clive, he's rolled that dough too well if anything"

[Ian]

Grumpy Humpy?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Giggles would love the diversity they've gone for.

[Ian]

The cold dead eyes on those kids...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Has she read a book for a 2-4 year old?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The non-disabled kid is also disabled.

[Ian]

I genuinely think I could draw better than that and I can't draw.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They somehow look worse animated.

[Ian]

"you three lovely people" makes it sound like he doesn't know their names yet

[Ian]

They somehow look worse animated.

:D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"The concept as you've just shits"

:D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Basically calling a 2-4 year old an idiot, top work.

[Ian]

Is this lot the least capable of talking like human beings so far? Of the ones in the pitches basically only Simba looked like he had a clue what he was doing.

[Ian]

Don't get many easier calls than that.

[Ian]

Cannons basically admitting to doing fuck all is a bold strategy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cannons :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Scavenger hunt task next :drool:

[Ian]

Scavenger hunt task next :drool:

:drool:

[Lofty]

The shittest task to be PM on.

[Yevrah]

I hated that episode on every level. The task wasn't remotely a business task, having the groups split into two with one creating the characters and the other coming up with the story was purely designed to trip them up, and teaching fucking two year olds about inclusion and diversity. :sick:

[Lofty]

Yeah it's really irritating the amount they complicate the task just to fuck them over now. They are bringing dross like Cannons to the process, just let them do it properly. They'll still fuck it up, in fact it will be funnier when they do.

[SvN]

It was also clear that this week, one of the animators was absolutely shit. The quality of the character illustrations was so poor, it was the sort of thing you'd expect a 6th former to produce. We didn't see any of the creation at all, they just suddenly had animated characters and a background that were miles apart in quality.

I find it hard to believe that the losing team explicitly asked for something that shit.

[niko_cee]

Obviously a shit task where they were doomed to fail, but I can confirm that in Ti and Mo, a CBBC commissioned programme with millions of episodes, neither of the main characters have hands or feet [well certainly not the little one whichever that one is].

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Still weeping at losing Cannons.

What a hero he was.

[niko_cee]

Pretty sure you can find literally anything in Snoopers Paradise (https://snoopersparadise.co.uk/) so it'll be interesting to see if they find their way there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

These dickheads have clearly never heard "Brimful of Asha".

Shameful.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They rang one florist and she said it's a fossil so they go to another flower shop...

[wullie]

Enjoyed the one dickhead saying he wasn't going to screw the record shop owner out of 50p while getting the record at 50p off.

[Ian]

Happy flashbacks to the year they bought an actual octopus.


Still weeping at losing Cannons.

What a hero he was.

What are Cannons for if not to be fired? He fulfilled his destiny.

[Ian]

They rang one florist and she said it's a fossil so they go to another flower shop...

While she was clearly googling it, no less.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The modelling man has made some decent cash for fuck all work.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why do these dickheads not decide to go to another shop rather than get fisted by a shop owner?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And these dickheads buying a home barometer.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Karen destroying them with some quality "he/she'd have sold it for X" lines :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That "prize" looks like hell.

[Ian]

Love a bit of Only Fools and Horses. :nodd:

[wullie]

Was that new man from Phoneshop as Del Boy?

Mark is the worst in this, I hope he's fired and they keep the Scottish guy whose face is entirely in the southern hemisphere of his head

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Was that new man from Phoneshop as Del Boy?

Mark is the worst in this, I hope he's fired and they keep the Scottish guy whose face is entirely in the southern hemisphere of his head

Wiki does say he was in Phoneshop.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mark is so fucking shit and lol at him just saying "BAROMETER".

[Lofty]

1618724006492000256?t=hVSdwHFv_uTpwTentBM24w&s=19

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How the fuck has Mark escaped?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"I would like to put myself forward as PM as I have seen an electric vehicle."

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sub team about to low blow the PM.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Zip Zap is not only a shit name but that logo is horrific.

Edit: Hiring a model who can't ride a bike :lol:

Shazia has to go.

[Lofty]

The logo was something off MS Publisher.

[SvN]

That logo is up there with the worst ever.

[Ian]

Right, I know this is an incredibly strong field and I'm probably forgetting dozens of things. However. "ZipZap" is one of the most disastrous brands I can remember on this, and I remember Kurran's Jet Pop.

[Yevrah]

I've watched all of this series so far and have come to the conclusion that it's just a dreadful programme now and not even in a 'so bad it's good' way. It's just flat out shit.

[Lofty]

The last competent task ever on the show was 'Western' shampoo for men.

[SvN]

There's definitely editing hijinks going on, moreso than ever. They recorded the advert with him referring to the bike as a ZipZap and then the next morning, they acted like it was the first time he'd seen the name or logo.

[Yevrah]

The whole thing is so incredibly tired. Sugar needs ridding of, a new IN BUSINESS mogul brought in and the format shaken up a bit. The most significant change on the show in nigh on twenty fucking years is the calibre of the contestants. It's quite remarkable really.

[Lofty]

I reckon Sugar was seething when he got donned by that lad quitting despite being on the winning team and they lowered the bar for candidates after that.

[Ian]

They definitely need rid of Sugar and give it a format that actually works again. I won't moan about that again though.

[Browning]

Yea, that losing team this week has to be one of the all time bad performances. The PM was walked all over by the one who got fired from the very start until it ended.... if you tuned in 3 minutes late you wouldn't know who the PM was. He should have gone for doing nothing all episode and she should have gone for completely undermining him and allowing Zip Zap to become a thing. Even if they had somehow won, I would have got shot of both of them. Was surprised this wasn't a "both teams have lost" scenario or at least a double firing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-11731273/The-Apprentices-Reece-Donnelly-forced-quit-health-issues.html

Forehead issues?

[wullie]

'My goal of being on The Apprentice was to showcase that Scotland has amazing businesses and entrepreneurs. I really hope I've done that.'


Yeah job done to be fair

[Ian]

I think people thought business didn't exist in Scotland before he was on it so well done him.

[Shindig]

You can't convince me Scotland isn't a barter state.

[Lofty]

The human pug has loftier ambitions.

[Lofty]

Twitter reckons he was sacked for getting smashed on the flight :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They haven't even explained why he was shown going to the airport but not being in Dubai.

[Ian]

"erm pick me"

Fucking hell

[Ian]

The desert is a "TRADITIONAL ELEMENT" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Traditional as in billions of years old, yes.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That suit thing that Tim is wearing looks super comfortable.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

DJ Mark is horrific.

[Ian]

Trying to pay in exposure. :nono:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I still don't get why they have to pay for catering and then do the cooking themselves in these tasks.

They're paying a premium for ingredients, a recipe and facilities every time.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"As you can see we're in the desert"

:D

Avi seems to talk down to everyone in these things.

[Ian]

Simba has no poker face. He hates these twats and I love it.

#teamsimba


I still don't get why they have to pay for catering and then do the cooking themselves in these tasks.

They're paying a premium for ingredients, a recipe and facilities every time.

Yeah it's very odd.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lovely PREMIUM burnt food.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She's going to vomit on all the food :D

[Ian]

I think I hate that woman on the boat trip more than any of the contestants and that's some going.

[Ian]

She needs to know that announcing they were only getting two waters wasn't the issue.

"look, I crashed this boat into the iceberg but the real mistake was telling the passengers"

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The DJ has an RRP?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

60% refund :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She needs to know that announcing they were only getting two waters wasn't the issue.

"look, I crashed this boat into the iceberg but the real mistake was telling the passengers"

I'm sure the clients would have taken it well when they were refused a third glass of water.

[Ian]

60% refund :D

Yeah that was baaaaad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How is WATERGATE seemingly the big sticking point here?

[Ian]

She's absolutely fucked her choice of who to take in with her and is surely going home.

I don't get this water thing, they were gonna know sooner or later.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How did Rochelle escape that?

[Ian]

Joe's business plan was shit then.

[Ian]

Also I'm pretty sure there was a honking great spoiler in the preview of next week's there...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The "Walk the plank" line?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Reece not allowed on You're Fired.

The drunk rumour must be true.

[Lofty]

How did Rochelle escape that?

Cracking tits?

[Ian]

The "Walk the plank" line?

Yeah.

[Ian]

I reckon I could have done better than that caterpillar.

[Ian]

That treasure chest, fucking hell.

[Ian]

Do pirates not famously like to not be in the sea?

I know we talk about them being in a hiding to nothing with some tasks and being mugged off by the edit but fucking hell the state of these lot. :D

[Ian]

Fucking hell those kids were absolutely brutal. :D

Series highlight so far.

[Ian]

The "Walk the plank" line?

Welp.

[Ian]

For fuck's sake Avi survives again.

[Lofty]

Avi was the target audience for the rap.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've just stuck it on Suhail clearly fucking hates Marnie.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They're always playing down for kids massively.

These people have kids, how do they always end up dumbing shit down massively?

[Ian]

They are always shit at kids tasks. Without fail. And always to the extent that it's not just the show making them look stupid.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

No one really looked good in that task.

Suhail was right to go but I'm surprised he didn't send Bradley packing too.

Walk the plank line really did spoil it too, shitty BBC previews.

[SvN]

I reckon I could have done better than that caterpillar.

I've noticed that this season, the graphic designers they've had help them do "branding" have been absolutely shit. I mean, obviously the candidates offer direction, but I doubt they're saying "Can you make it look like a 12 year old did it in Paint?".

[Yevrah]

It's always been obvious bollocks that they're getting up at 4 in the morning for these shitty tasks with the car arriving 20 minutes later, but the BBC could at least try and not leave clocks in frame showing it being 7:20am.

[Ian]

It's always been obvious bollocks that they're getting up at 4 in the morning for these shitty tasks with the car arriving 20 minutes later, but the BBC could at least try and not leave clocks in frame showing it being 7:20am.

I missed that. :D

[Browning]

Another occasion where both teams should have lost. The bloke giving it the “we won because we had a strong vision and we stuck to it” during the treat should be fired just for that line.

[Yevrah]

Tim thinks one of the team's apps is a bit basic? Designing an app in an afternoon has led to something basic? No fucking shit. My God I hate this show.

[SvN]

Why the fuck does a lunchbox even need an app?

[Lofty]

The design a product task is always wank and somehow we have had it three times already this series (if we count design the brand for the electric bike). He needs to thin the heard quickly and get some decent tasks on. Or bring back the odd job task, fucking up sweeping a yard for a fiver :D

[Ian]

fucking up sweeping a yard for a fiver :D

Oh fuck I'd forgotten this one. :D

You know the other thing they fail at with selecting candidates now, other than people with more brain cells than toes, is finding characters.

Where's Jedi Jim? Or Vincent? Or Kurran? Or Sandhurst? Or Baggs the Brand (RIP)?

[7om]

It's always been obvious bollocks that they're getting up at 4 in the morning for these shitty tasks with the car arriving 20 minutes later, but the BBC could at least try and not leave clocks in frame showing it being 7:20am.

Always been my pet peeve, that. They wake them up at “4am” and twenty minutes later they’re caked in makeup and a suitcase packed for Dubai. Okay then.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Dani :drool:

Some top quality shameful lustage for me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Avi talking down to people, I'm stunned.

[Ian]

Huge fan of Marnie casually burying Avi when they were discussing PM.


Dani :drool:

Some top quality shameful lustage for me.

Christ almighty that is shameful. Have a word

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Not supplying them with booze? Big mistake.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The exterminator is having a nightmare.

[Lofty]

This task is groundhog day this series. Do they just not do shop selling anymore? It always has to be events or weird fucking around with food when they aren't chefs.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The contortionist :drool:

[Ian]

Avi's knowledge of the senses. Good lord.

[Ian]

Simba reacting to stuff has been the highlight of this series.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Karen donning them :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nice of Marnie to showcase some off her fetishes.

[Lofty]

Prison experience been mis-sold, good luck with those tips :D

[Ian]

Fair play to Simba and... The other one trying to style the prison out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fair play to Simba and... The other one trying to style the prison out.

Megan :wub:

[Ian]

Do you just fancy all of them? Is that what's going on here?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's only those two.

[Ian]

"For me", says Avi, before going on to give the definition of a word.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rat man has to be getting exterminated.

[Ian]

I hope it's a double. Mark for being a useless, sleazy bastard. Dani so I don't have to look at those fucking lips any more.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This does smell like a double.

Mark in serious trouble not even getting to pick his two to come back.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The lips survive \0/.

[Ian]

If all her pursing and pouting when she was sulking at the end there didn't put you off nothing will.

[SvN]

You know what, I thought the prison tram handled that really well. Especially when you had Karens complaining that it was meant to be a history tour and they remained in character and told them to stfu.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bradley trying to just take over as PM without a vote :D

Also, lol at them picking Brad over Rochelle who is in the INDUSTRY.

[Yevrah]

This is the worst programme ever I think.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That bottle is fucking shocking.

It looks like one of those kid's bubble bath bottles.

[Ian]

These cunts are getting stupider. And I don't mean they're getting stupider people in, which they are, I mean these specific people are getting stupider.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Venom/Anti-Venom is like something Dennis Feinstein would have created on Parks & Rec.

[Ian]

This is the worst programme ever I think.

It's the worst thing I watch by a very long margin, and were it not for having a WhatsApp group where we slag this off as we watch it every week and lolling about it on here I'd have binned it by now I think.

Needs a big old overhaul (or taken out back.)

[niko_cee]

I had to stop watching. It's just too bad. Didn't think Alan was moving too well early in the episode. Was walking like he'd shat himself.

The winning product would clearly have been some sort of lurid/fluro yellow tub of face scrub called Sugar Soap. Could even have some sort of stubbly dead skin remover in the shape of Alan's face on the inside of the lid.

[wullie]

I like how the retailers are pointing out how their skin is stained and burning and it may be giving them all cancer and chin's response is to ask how many millions of orders they want to put in.

[Ian]

I like how the retailers are pointing out how their skin is stained and burning and it may be giving them all cancer and chin's response is to ask how many millions of orders they want to put in.

It was quite an optimistic response, I'll grant you.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I love that their defence is "But we were told to make it green".

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Really all those twats should be drop kicked out of the boardroom.

[Lofty]

https://www.avitv.co.uk/my-story

Proudly displaying detention letters from school :D

[SvN]

I said to my wife that was the worst product ever on the show. Can anyone think of anything worse?

[Ian]

My memory for these things is fairly lol but nothing immediately springs to mind.

[Browning]

There was that time they tried to make a "lads mag" years after they'd all gone extinct, but this was still worse than that.

[SvN]

Ignoring the crap branding (there's been much worse) the product itself was just completely unusable in anyway. I can't believe that they were stupid enough to add the dye after they knew it was colouring their skin.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The PM did tell them he wanted it to be green though...

[Ian]

There was that time they tried to make a "lads mag" years after they'd all gone extinct, but this was still worse than that.

I'd forgotten this. Googled it. 12 years ago. For fuck's sake.

[Yevrah]

4am start again, with one of the clocks in view on the journey in stating 11.40 am and the next stating 13:50. So just the near 8 hours at least to get dressed and make it to Battersea from a presumably central London location.

[Ian]

Simba: "I'm not happy."

Yeah I'd got that from your absolute lack of poker face, mate.


4am start again, with one of the clocks in view on the journey in stating 11.40 am and the next stating 13:50. So just the near 8 hours at least to get dressed and make it to Battersea from a presumably central London location.

:D

[Yevrah]

They're just taking the piss with that. I've run the itinerary and I reckon I could get to Moscow by 11am if I left my bed at 4. Not that I'd want to.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Would probably be a cracking thread though.

[Ian]

Would probably be a cracking thread though.

:D

Do it, Yev.

[Ian]

If that silly looking bint Mahow fancies doesn't get fired here then Sugar has definitely lost his fucking mind. She's a fucking nightmare.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah she deserves to go.

[Ian]

You FUCKING WHAT?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She doesn't even have an amazing business.

It's just hair extensions...

[Ian]

I am absolutely seething.

Insert all my previous rants about the format here.

[Yevrah]

I don't know how anyone who can't produce and brand a new dog food after 13:50 before the day is out deserves a spot in a dynamic organisation like Sugar's.

[7om]

These business proposals might put Claude back in the hospital.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Linda just crushed her :D

[Ian]

Three parking spaces. :D

I love Mike.

[Yevrah]

This is proper mean spirited shit. Putting five people this out of their depth up against those interviewers is just nasty.

[7om]

If you’re going on national tv, and submitting your business proposals to a bunch of mean bastards, why aren’t they watertight? How many mistakes have they found here? It’s madness.

[Yevrah]

If you’re going on national tv, and submitting your business proposals to a bunch of mean bastards, why aren’t they watertight?

Because they're not remotely experienced enough to put a business plan together, they're borderline kids, one of which who can barely write.

[7om]

Yeah, that was worse than usual. Did they show any footage of them receiving compliments or constructive criticism? If they’re as bad as they’ve made out then just sack them all. It’s crazy how negatively they spin this show now.

[Ian]

I don't think the interviews have ever not been mostly the negative stuff before they save any compliments for speaking to Sugar.

[wullie]

In addition to spending an hour pointing out how shit they all are with absolutely no redemption at all, they follow it by then lumbering the finalists with people fired earlier for being even more feckless than they are.

[Ian]

Of the final five Rochelle lost the most during the previous weeks (lost 6/10 tasks) and didn't get a PM win where the others all did.

Marnie, .meanwhile, was brought back to the boardroom more than anybody else.*

Format definitely hasn't rendered the whole thing a sham though....

*Some of this is just because she rubs people up the wrong way which I suppose is less of an issue now that Sugar's not going to be employing them.

[Browning]

Just caught up. Replacing the best interviewer with Karen is not acceptable.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cannons not invited back :(

[Ian]

Started late but turned on just in time for "Simba I've written you a rap" and his look of absolute disgust.

My beautiful boy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Started late but turned on just in time for "Simba I've written you a rap" and his look of absolute disgust.

My beautiful boy.

Them telling him how they want it to be performed was also great.

Fucking gammons.

[Ian]

"Remember her tagline.... What was it?"

Get in the fucking bin, Avi.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Marnie surely wins at a canter.

[Lofty]

Simba getting sued then!

[Ian]

Bradley getting buried here.

[Browning]

He remembers taglines like he remembers the human senses.

[Lofty]

Just seen a headline that Megan's business is on the verge of going under now.

[Lofty]

Lottie Lion is getting her tits out on Onlyfans @Mahow

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I appreciate the heads up.

Just done a quick Google but it seems they're covered.

Edit: Reddit has delivered the goods.

[Ian]

Dani, with the comedy lips, has had a daughter and called the poor little sod "Binky Bloom."

[Lofty]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/mediapacks/the-apprentice-2024-candidates-series-18

[Ian]

Don't you worry I am about to do the thread.