HRH King Charles III

[Giggles]

If he has been then he was in the Schofield line.

[Yevrah]

He's probably gone round again.

[niko_cee]

Presumably, statistically speaking, someone is going to die in THE QUEUE.

[Offshore Toon]

I struggle to understand how people can be in a moving queue for so long. With an overnight queue at least you aren't shuffling forward every few minutes so you can just camp and get comfortable, but this shit is beyond me.

[mo]

1571169879713013761

:eyemouth:

[Yevrah]

Best not to worry about it Toon. For once a load of people are doing something that I never would, but they're not preaching about it or telling others that they should be doing it and they're a cunt if they don't.

It's quite refreshing and a throwback to how things used to be before all this absolute arse came along.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've been out of the country since Thursday morning and basically every single missive I've received from Blighty ever since has been about the queue, even though I don't know a single person who has gone in it. Has it culturally taken over, like some sort of virus?

[Yevrah]

It's not that bad, but I suspect it's taken over to the extent it has as there really isn't anything else newsworthy to say about the Queen dying and there hasn't been for days.

[Spikey M]

It's our Mecca now.

[Yevrah]

It's a shame Lewis has been lost to London though, I imagine it going down as it would have done to Kaleb on Clarkson's Farm if the Amazon crew hadn't been there with him.

[Lewis]

I joined the queue at 02:15, and got out of Westminster Hall at I think 15:25, so less than the initial fourteen hour estimate. The park took about an hour but was constantly moving, but then they throttle it between there and Tower Bridge and leave you standing around for an hour, and then again at Tower Bridge, which must have been more like a two hour wait because we didn't move until it was light. From then it keeps moving, but at an annoying rate where it moves fifty feet, then stops for a few minutes, then roughly the same. That means you're not actually waiting around forever, and there are plenty of things to keep you refreshed and not pissing yourself along the way, but you also don't really get a rest. I'm reasonably strong and fit, but my legs and lower back were in bits two thirds in. Respect to the old people and kids doing it. That said, I think if you were sufficiently well briefed about its flow, and didn't chance upon a super detective grass, you could quite easily cut most of it out and blend back in.

We were also in the group that got fucking kettled - no other word for it - when Charles and William came down. A Welsh policeman appeared, told everyone to 'pick up the pace' (an old woman fell flat on her boat and he just ignored her), only to find the end of the path blocked off. I happened to be side near the barrier, mainly because I had been walking on the wrong side like a rebel, but when I heard the same stupid Welsh copper say 'William is coming down' I offered to swap with a mother and child we had been queueing with so they could have a better view of him. If I had known the gaffer was coming, and that they would get to shake his hand, I wouldn't have offered. Serves me right for being nice.

That MASSIVE let down aside, I'm glad I did it.

[7om]

I hope someone is watching the livestream. Lewis better make a gesture at the camera

[Yevrah]

How did it feel in the hall itself? Oh and where does the Schofield queue start?

[7om]

Ffs we could have had a TTH member shake the King’s hand? That was our big break you bastard.

[Offshore Toon]

We could have potentially got a shout out at the funeral. :face:

[Pepe]

Could've slipped him a TTH card. BOTTLEJOB of the century.

[Lewis]

How did it feel in the hall itself? Oh and where does the Schofield queue start?

It didn't do anything to me other than on an interest level, but that probably says more about me than it. I got told to move along because I was looking at the medieval ceiling, but my dawdling meant I got to see them change the guard, so lol at the referee.

Lots of Northern Irish people in the queue, and they all seem to be able to locate each other like bees.

[7om]

Stop playing the hard man and admit you cried.

[Giggles]

It didn't do anything to me other than on an interest level, but that probably says more about me than it. I got told to move along because I was looking at the medieval ceiling, but my dawdling meant I got to see them change the guard, so lol at the referee.

Lots of Northern Irish people in the queue, and they all seem to be able to locate each other like bees.

It’s handy enough spot the 6 fingers or hunchback that comes from interbreeding so they’re easily picked out.

[Boydy]

Ffs we could have had a TTH member shake the King’s hand? That was our big break you bastard.

I shook his hand when I was a little kid.

[Mike]

How’s the queue the second time round Lewis?

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-62944148

They've been .... really quick to publish the names and addresses of these two.

[Lewis]

Two incidents in a procession of what could well be millions, and YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE...

[Giggles]

You could rape your way through a crèche and your details wouldn’t be out there as quick.

[Shindig]

And you wouldn't be in court two days later.

[niko_cee]

Impressive that the Westminster Mags are open on Monday.

[Spikey M]

Surprised they're not going for "treason".

[Magic]

You could rape your way through a crèche and your details wouldn’t be out there as quick.

Public don't care about this sort of stuff.

[randomlegend]

You're the expert.

[niko_cee]

Looks like playing the long game on the queue was the best strategy.

[Ben]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-62946729

Rehabilitating the nonce in full swing on the BBC top headlines section.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The firm need to do him in really, he's such a cunt that there's no hope of getting him to shut up as long as he's still breathing.

[Shindig]

He did himself in with the interview they told him not to do. Just arrange more of those.

[Giggles]

Cleaner than a car crash anyway.

[Pepe]

Heard the new boss is big into homeopathy. Lol at that.

[Dquincy]

People need to lay off Prince Andrew.

So he paid for some brass, and yeah that brass turned out to be a YTS. Not his fault.

She knew why she was there, so don't be giving it all the innocent victim now lady.

[Ian]

Not many people have it in them to come blazing onto the board after months away to declare themselves staunchly pro-noncing.

I suppose we have to credit your resolve if nothing else.

[Kikó]

Maybe children should think about their actions before they get into the child trafficking business?

[wullie]

The spirit of Pavel lives on forever

[Giggles]

That's some re-entry.

[Raoul Duke]

That'll be the quote the prosecution bases a lot of their case around

[Bam]

People need to lay off Prince Andrew.

So he paid for some brass, and yeah that brass turned out to be a YTS. Not his fault.

She knew why she was there, so don't be giving it all the innocent victim now lady.


That can't be serious. :D

Otherwise that's up with Pavs 'girls who wear short skirts deserve to be raped' quote.

[Ben]

Oh dear.

[Spikey M]

Dnoncy :cool:

[Dquincy]

:D

Speaking of nonces, didn't realise the queue jumper has form...

1571597833144520705

[Shindig]

The groom cupboard.

[Alex]

The groom cupboard.

:D

[Spikey M]

Alot more people are starting to find out about this now. Hopefully that's the end of him and Holly. If we can find a way to take down Gino D'Acampo and that hideous Bristolian woman then we're golden.

[Yevrah]

The groom cupboard.

Brilliant. :D

[niko_cee]

Is it not better that they are all confined to a specific area of tv that can be easily avoided?


The groom cupboard.

:D

Very good.

[niko_cee]

Andrew fighting back the tears.

Rehab ahoy.

[niko_cee]

This procession is not as good as the one the other day.

That had a real sombre/portentous feeling.

[Yevrah]

Whoever turned up from Saudi Arabia it looks like they've been put right at the back round the corner.

[Shindig]

You'd think that briefcase they gave Charles would've secured the first couple of rows.

[Lewis]

I don't think I've ever concentrated on walking like I did not wanting to fall down the stairs in Westminster Hall, so these lads who have been on coffin duty must be going a mile a minute.

[-james-]

Lovely bit of brass there. Song was good too.

[Lofty]

Alot more people are starting to find out about this now. Hopefully that's the end of him and Holly. If we can find a way to take down Gino D'Acampo and that hideous Bristolian woman then we're golden.
Leave Josie alone, unless she is forced to start an OnlyFans in which case I agree.

[Cord]

Religion really is dreary isn't it.

[Shindig]

Aye, I don't miss it.

[Manc]

I wonder how many of us attended a C of E. Bored me to absolute tears.

[Ben]

I did. This shit gets more dreadful every time.

[ScousePig]

I work in a Catholic school and it's a strong faith school, so church has become second nature over the past five years.

[Yevrah]

Will we see her get lowered into the ground and Charles chuck some dirt on top?

[ScousePig]

If you do you might have to hang around until mid-afternoon.

[Lewis]

1571512543369203713

Deep England.

[Yevrah]

Do these people know which version they're meant to be signing? It doesn't sound like it.

[-james-]

I have never, ever heard the second verse before.

[-james-]

I quite enjoyed that. The fancy dress and the tunes mostly. The church nonces can fuck off.

[-james-]

This organ outro is absolutely brutal mind.

[Lewis]

The one thing the bead-rattlers get right about religion in this day and age is that it should be all uniforms and bollocks. Part of being a Big Club is acting like one. Tomorrow the Church of England will go back to jeans, trannies, and wondering why nobody turns up anymore.

[Pepe]

There was an anti-abortion rally around here not too long ago. A bunch of young men wearing some badass uniforms and carrying banners that looked straight out of a medieval battlefield. I can see how some would be convinced to join that.

[7om]

The one thing the bead-rattlers get right about religion in this day and age is that it should be all uniforms and bollocks. Part of being a Big Club is acting like one. Tomorrow the Church of England will go back to jeans, trannies, and wondering why nobody turns up anymore.

Same as wrestling. It should be roided meat heads and freaks. Instead they’re all wet wipes now.

[ScousePig]

The one thing the bead-rattlers get right about religion in this day and age is that it should be all uniforms and bollocks. Part of being a Big Club is acting like one. Tomorrow the Church of England will go back to jeans, trannies, and wondering why nobody turns up anymore.

Part of the problem though is that people can't or won't maintain those high standards consistently, especially in this day and age, and dare I say post-Covid.

Our Father is quite harsh with a lot of part-time parishioners.

[Lewis]

Same as wrestling. It should be roided meat heads and freaks. Instead they’re all wet wipes now.

That's a good comparison. Maintain kayfabe. Don't expose the business.

[Ben]

Or your cock in the case of Andrew.

[-james-]

Be pretty funny if Charles drops dead next week.

[Bam]

We would get another bank holiday. :youpi:

[Alex]

We would get another bank holiday. :youpi:

Yeah, but we'll get two out of him if he lasts, one for the coronation and one for the death. Got to play the long game.

[Bam]

Yeah, but we'll two out of him if he lasts, one for the coronation and one for the death. Got to play the long game.


Good thinking.

[Baz]

Religion really is dreary isn't it.Its the absolute pits.

[niko_cee]

Who's the actual giant in this procession?

[randomlegend]

I'm not watching but is it David Morgan-Hewitt, the original absolute unit?

[Shindig]

"The last glimpse of the famous balcony for the Queen."

Huw, she can't glimpse anything.

[niko_cee]

I'm not watching but is it David Morgan-Hewitt, the original absolute unit?

It's not him but fuck me he's big.

He's front left of the procession pulling the cart thing [as you look at it head on], in a mourning suit. Looks about seven foot tall.

[Manc]

Barron Trump.

[Lewis]

The proliferation of American-style cheering is one of the very worst post-1997 developments.

[Shindig]

Things you shouldn't yell at a funeral procession: "Woo!"

[7om]

I enjoyed that whole thing. I feel like we’ve watched something quite special there. Brexit Britain does it again.

[Don]

Only caught a few mins of it at various points but it looked like a really historic event.

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/9YzZI5r.png

The King and Queen of Bhutan topping the dress code at the minute.

[igor_balis]

I work in a Catholic school and it's a strong faith school, so church has become second nature over the past five years.

I went to a Catholic school and did work experience there, and much to my eternal shame I sorta got a bit anti-religious teenage edgelord. Well, to the extent of saying to the teacher I was shadowing something like "er, actually hearing all that hellfire and brimstone stuff being taught to young kids is...a bit weird isn't it" and she was like no it isn't. Fair enough. Okay i hope you enjoyed my story.

[Jimmy Floyd]

At one point I came up with a magnificent theory in my own head about how Catholicism came to be like it is via generations of priesthood being sexually repressed and therefore needing to (literally) wank over the Virgin Mary. I honestly can't remember the logical steps involved, but I'm usually right about these things, and even if I'm wrong, it's the Catholic Church so who cares.

[Lewis]

I went to a Catholic school and did work experience there, and much to my eternal shame I sorta got a bit anti-religious teenage edgelord. Well, to the extent of saying to the teacher I was shadowing something like "er, actually hearing all that hellfire and brimstone stuff being taught to young kids is...a bit weird isn't it" and she was like no it isn't. Fair enough. Okay i hope you enjoyed my story.

What no way.

[Lewis]

Who's the actual giant in this procession?

It appears to be this lad (https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/5777676/queens-giant-matthew-magee-7ft-2in-aide/). I hope WWE are watching with a Big Ben/Tower of London gimmick ready to go.

[Giggles]

Did we send government people or the equivalent?

[Shindig]

It appears to be this lad (https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/5777676/queens-giant-matthew-magee-7ft-2in-aide/). I hope WWE are watching with a Big Ben/Tower of London gimmick ready to go.

He can be in a tag team with Lofty.

[Lewis]

Lofty, dressed like Giant Haystacks, calling himself the 'Windscale Pile'.

[Boydy]

Did we send government people or the equivalent?

Miggledy and Micheál were both there, I believe.

[Lofty]

:D

[Boydy]

Some of those horses look twitchy as fuck.

[Giggles]

Miggledy and Micheál were both there, I believe.

The latter probably needed to renew his allegiance anyway.

[ScousePig]

I went to a Catholic school and did work experience there, and much to my eternal shame I sorta got a bit anti-religious teenage edgelord. Well, to the extent of saying to the teacher I was shadowing something like "er, actually hearing all that hellfire and brimstone stuff being taught to young kids is...a bit weird isn't it" and she was like no it isn't. Fair enough. Okay i hope you enjoyed my story.

The difficult situation for me in Year 6 is the Sacrament of Confirmation. It's the first Sacrament the kids get a real say in, and as their (non-Catholic) Catechist I need to make it clear to them that it is their choice ultimately, but really they should be doing it.

[Luca]

Did anyone grab a screenshot of Lewis in tears by the coffin?

[niko_cee]

Is that the one where all the girls get dressed up like its their wedding?

Weird as fuck, but par for the course.

[7om]

Pretty creepy watching the coffin descend, wasn’t it? Charles looked on the verge of cracking as well.

[Giggles]

I see there are no ads on Sky Sports. Are they cancelled across every channel there today? :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I see there are no ads on Sky Sports. Are they cancelled across every channel there today? :D

Yep.

NFL stream even cut to Sky News at 8pm last night to show a minute's silence.

[Giggles]

Whatever about a minutes silence, what the fuck offence are adverts that are on all day every other day of life? Some of this shit is mental, even by the standards of the madness of the past week.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1571843548257087488

[Baz]

Who's the actual giant in this procession?

Matthew Magee. He is 7’2”.

https://c.tenor.com/nXLXNsuyn_YAAAAd/simpsons-tall-man-small-car.gif

[ScousePig]

Is that the one where all the girls get dressed up like its their wedding?

Weird as fuck, but par for the course.

Sounds like Holy Communion. The Sacrament before Confirmation.

[Shindig]

The worst part about communion is when you realise church wine is horrid. As soon as my parents gave me the option, I stayed at home and watched MotoGP.

[ScousePig]

That's not been a thing for the kids since Covid. They just take the bread now.

[Waffdon]

The queen couldn’t even beat the Euro 2020 final ratings and she was on every fucking channel, the nonce sympathiser.

[Ian]

Yeah that's because all the weirdos were out crywanking together in crowds rather than huddling indoors waiting for England to crush their dreams (and then crywanking.)

[Shindig]

Aye, if they counted the queue it would've smashed it.

[Bam]

Alot more people are starting to find out about this now. Hopefully that's the end of him and Holly. If we can find a way to take down Gino D'Acampo and that hideous Bristolian woman then we're golden.

Seems your wish has been granted.

[Boydy]

Did you come on here and search for "Gino D'Acampo"?

[Danny]

Expected him to be dead with this being dragged up.

[Raoul Duke]

RIP Gino

[Spikey M]

Did you come on here and search for "Gino D'Acampo"?

It was one of my "Spikey Highlights" in this week's newsletter. If you would like to subscribe please pm Bamster.

[Bam]

Did you come on here and search for "Gino D'Acampo"?

:D

Just remembered Spikey posting something like this, so looked it up.

[Spikey M]

We nearly had his bank details and his mother's maiden name then Bam ffs.

[Lofty]

Expected him to be dead with this being dragged up.

I know, hopes of an extra bank holiday dashed.

[Luke Emia]

Fuck sake thought we were getting a bonus day off this year and next year you bunch of cunts.

[niko_cee]

Aye, particularly with Bam's choice of bolding.