The Theatre

[randomlegend]

I can't imagine we don't have a thread but I couldn't find one.

Went to see Book of Mormon last night. Was really good. Weirdly, there were actual Mormons outside the theatre giving out leaflets.

Would say it's the second best thing I've seen, behind Matilda.

[Spikey M]

The wife got tickets to Aladin a few years back and took me along. It was alright, but I can't imagine I'd go to one off my own back.

[mo]

Went to the Minack theatre years ago for the novelty of it (wife desperately wanted to see a play there). Saw Oh! What a Lovely War. It was long, cold and windy.

[Giggles]

I went to a panto once.

[Ben]

I'm guessing RL is starting to realise why we didn't have a theatre thread before.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've been to a small handful, never really found it appealing.

Last two times were to support the daughter of one of my Mum's friends at our local/ (http://www.queenmothertheatre.org.uk). She is hot though so I didn't mind too much.

[Giggles]

I've been to a small handful, never really found it appealing.

Last two times were to support the daughter of one of my Mum's friends at our local/ (http://www.queenmothertheatre.org.uk). She is hot though so I didn't mind too much.

I hope you mean the mum because that doesn’t read great.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I hope you mean the mum because that doesn’t read great.

The daughter, I could have worded that better. She is in her 30s.

[Baz]

Went a panto at Christmas and really enjoyed it. Going watching The Tiger Who Came For Tea soon, which I’m looking forward to cos the Robbie Williams song is a banger.

[Giggles]

As regards going to the actual non panto theatre, I’d rather chomp down on a bucket of my own shite than ever go.

I went to a musical once too actually, but I don’t think that’s theatre. A good portion of me died that day.

[Baz]

Similar, yeah.

I did once go to watch a dancing version of Edward Scissorhands though and enjoyed it, purely cos the music (https://youtu.be/J6xzL0TrsRY) in it is class.

[igor_balis]

Me and some of my mates went to a few things at our local theatre in 2017ish.

Most of the stuff is local amateurs in in-house productions, with the odd touring professional act.

The local amateur productions were alright in a kind of "that wasn't as shit and cringe inducing as I expected", and I'm glad they exist but I doubt I'd ever bother to go to one again. The professional performance of The Producers was pretty great though.

I've also seen a couple of Shakespeare things and a Daniel kitson one man play thing.

I'd consider checking out more "proper" theatre, but as far as entertainment stuff you go and see goes, it's pretty near the bottom of the list to be honest.

It's not too dissimilar to stand up comedy, especially now that so much stand-up is a lot more theatrical and story-driven, but I much prefer stand up. Obvious proviso that I've really not seen much theatre at all, but I'd say the very best play I've seen would probably around the 20th best stand up set I've seen.

[igor_balis]

As regards going to the actual non panto theatre, I’d rather chomp down on a bucket of my own shite than ever go.

I went to a musical once too actually, but I don’t think that’s theatre. A good portion of me died that day.

Yeah musical theatre is probably my least favourite genre of live entertainment, and this is coming from someone who sat through 2 hours of ballet.

[Giggles]

As an aside, on Shakespeare, I still can’t believe that in the 21st century (and 20+ years into it) they’re still teaching that pointless rubbish to kids instead of proper stuff in English class. Even now if you want to do higher level English for the main exams here, a Shakespeare play is mandatory. Like fucking hell.

[igor_balis]

As an aside, on Shakespeare, I still can’t believe that in the 21st century (and 20+ years into it) they’re still teaching that pointless rubbish to kids instead of proper stuff in English class.

I think Shakespeare should be on curriculums, but a lot fucking less of it. I waver between thinking it's massively overrated and outdated shite and thinking I'm just too thick to get it. I'm not a fan of dumbing down education and having like Dan Brown taught at a level or some shit, but I do think that if I was put off literature by the ubiquitousness of Shakespeare enough to not do it at uni despite being exactly the kind of poncey cunt you'd expect to performatively laugh at the 'jokes' and shit, it's probably counter productive to have so much of the fucking stuff.

[Spikey M]

As an aside, on Shakespeare, I still can’t believe that in the 21st century (and 20+ years into it) they’re still teaching that pointless rubbish to kids instead of proper stuff in English class. Even now if you want to do higher level English for the main exams here, a Shakespeare play is mandatory. Like fucking hell.

I had that exact argument with my English Teacher at school. Utterly pointless and there's not a kid in the land that gives a fuck about any of it.

[Giggles]

It should be 99% functioning modern language and 1% fluff. I include the modern novel and poetry in the 1% also.

[Spikey M]

Mans wants modern language, innit? Raaah.

[igor_balis]

Mans wants modern language, innit? Raaah.

Lolz, they made our a level class go and see a "modern" production of the tempest and it was just like they'd hired Tim Westwood as a script consultant. What's past is prologue, bruv! Awful.

[Giggles]

Mans wants modern language, innit? Raaah.

The operative word being language.

Probably won’t be long before they’re teaching that incoherent mans style shite in schools though. ‘Gammons’ by Don Taz on Leaving Cert English paper 2.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mans wants modern language, innit? Raaah.

Excuse me
Standing on one leg
I'm half-caste

Explain yuself
Wha yu mean
When yu say half-caste
Yu mean when picasso
Mix red an green
Is a half-caste canvas?
Explain yuself
Wha u mean
When yu say half-caste
Yu mean when light an shadow
Mix in de sky
Is a half-caste weather??
Well in dat case
England weather
Nearly always half-caste
In fact some o dem cloud
Half-caste till dem overcast
So spiteful dem dont want de sun pass
Ah rass
Explain yuself
Wha yu mean
When yu say half-caste?
Yu mean tchaikovsky
Sit down at dah piano
An mix a black key
Wid a white key
Is a half-caste symphony?
Explain yuself
Wha yu mean
Ah listening to yu wid de keen
Half of mih ear
Ah looking at u wid de keen
Half of mih eye
And when I'm introduced to yu
I'm sure you'll understand
Why I offer yu half-a-hand
An when I sleep at night
I close half-a-eye
Consequently when I dream
I dream half-a-dream
An when moon begin to glow
I half-caste human being
Cast half-a-shadow
But yu come back tomorrow
Wid de whole of yu eye
An de whole of yu ear
And de whole of yu mind

An I will tell yu
De other half
Of my story

[Spikey M]

‘Gammons’ by Don Taz

:D

Now class, our poet references the theft of a small childs bike. What do we think this symbolism is really describing?

[Shindig]

My overriding memory of Half-caste is hearing it come from a Yorkshireman English teacher.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shakespeare is the best stuff ever written in English, probably by quite a long way. What's done poorly is the teaching of it. There should definitely be plain English versions with some of the more meaningful original language woven in here and there so people can follow along more easily.

Some of the histories are a bit inaccessible now but things like Macbeth, R&J, the Henrys, Othello, the Tempest (my fave) and others are utterly timeless if people teach them engagingly. Hamlet I've always thought a self-indulgent bore but clearly others like it.

I mean, TV's Succession is basically a restaging of King Lear with somewhat snappier dialogue.

[Reg]

Broadly agree with Jimothy. It requires a good, passionate teacher, not somebody who casts a lazy eye over half a lesson plan and hopes the kids will immediately grapple with copies of Macbeth dumped on their desks.

[Giggles]

It’s absolutely completely pointless. If you’re into it then fine, but it should be as a hobby.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What would you have above it in terms of significant literature that kids should be exposed to in school?

At GCSE I did Steinbeck, Arthur Miller and Romeo and Juliet. The latter, even taught by a useless cretin, was way more 'relevant' to me than the first two.

[Giggles]

What would you have above it in terms of significant literature that kids should be exposed to in school?

At GCSE I did Steinbeck, Arthur Miller and Romeo and Juliet. The latter, even taught by a useless cretin, was way more 'relevant' to me than the first two.

No literature. Functional spelling and grammar - things that will be useful in the real world. Once that’s sorted then use the extra time for other subjects like maths and the sciences. Or by learning functional grammar of another useful language.

The only use Shakespeare has in school is for people that will choose a career to go on to torture another generation or two with it.

[Spikey M]

Something written in the language we speak. Ideally, something actually enjoyable. Not a play, being presented as a book, in a language that's barely recognisable at times.

[igor_balis]

I wish I'd heard half-caste earlier than I did. When I was playing footy at the park, things got tense between my nerdy bunch and the rougher kids who'd challenged us to a game, and one of them pulled a knife out.

If I'd known I should have described the lad to the police officer as mixed race instead, I wouldn't have described him as OUTKAST, cueing both the copper and my mum absolutely pissing themselves and years of shame.

[Jimmy Floyd]

No literature. Functional spelling and grammar - things that will be useful in the real world. Once that’s sorted then use the extra time for other subjects like maths and the sciences. Or by learning functional grammar of another useful language.

The only use Shakespeare has in school is for people that will choose a career to go on to torture another generation or two with it.

Thank god you're not in charge of education.

[Spikey M]

I wish I'd heard half-caste earlier than I did. When I was playing footy at the park, things got tense between my nerdy bunch and the rougher kids who'd challenged us to a game, and one of them pulled a knife out.

If I'd known I should have described the lad to the police officer as mixed race instead, I wouldn't have described him as OUTKAST, cueing both the copper and my mum absolutely pissing themselves and years of shame.

Did you apologise a thousand times?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Something written in the language we speak. Ideally, something actually enjoyable. Not a play, being presented as a book, in a language that's barely recognisable at times.

What I do agree with is they should lean much more on the dramatic side of it - the plays were written to be performed/watched/listened to, not read in a book. Obviously for many generations of educationalists, the idea of getting kids to do anything other than sit in silence was anathema, so here we are.

[Giggles]

Thank god you're not in charge of education.

What use is it?

Maybe even stretch it out to a separate optional subject, but it’s criminal that stuff like that takes time away from functionally learning a language in this day and age.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Expanding the mind. It comes back to the same old problem that people think education is about pouring existing information into kids' brains like they're a pint glass, rather than teaching their brains to be able to operate in different ways.

[niko_cee]

Think I'm supposed to be going to see Hamilton sometime soon.

Meh. I'm sure it'll be good an all.

My most triumphant theatrical experience was going to see an early run of the Priscilla musical in Sydney with a bunch of professional musical theatre bods and being the only one who thought it'd do well commercially. They all thought it would die a death. Finger on the pulse.

[Spikey M]

What use is it?

Maybe even stretch it out to a separate optional subject, but it’s criminal that stuff like that takes time away from functionally learning a language in this day and age.

I wouldn't learn anything if it was taught functionally, to be fair. I (and most people?) learn via exposure. I learn to read and write, by reading and writing, not by some duff exercise up on the blackboard.

[Giggles]

That can be done on their own time or by allocating some school time for fannying about free thinking or some other guff.
You don’t teach song lyrics in maths or physics class.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"Free thinking and other guff" usually helps kids to learn functional stuff though. If it was all functional you'd just tune out.

[randomlegend]

I can understand the reason for doing a bit of English literature with kids (as Jimmy says it can help teach important skills), but at undergraduate level and beyond it really is a load of self-serving pointless bollocks.

[Kikó]

Think I'm supposed to be going to see Hamilton sometime soon.

Meh. I'm sure it'll be good an all.

My most triumphant theatrical experience was going to see an early run of the Priscilla musical in Sydney with a bunch of professional musical theatre bods and being the only one who thought it'd do well commercially. They all thought it would die a death. Finger on the pulse.

Hamilton is absolutely brilliant. The other times have been watching Shakespeare (lol why) at the Globe, which is a great experience as well, and one other modern drama.

The theatre is a million times better than going to the Ballet which caused mental distress.

[Spikey M]

I'd rather have surgery than go to the ballet. Big surgery too. Possibly even penis reduction surgery.

[Reg]

The Vue Cinemas doing NT Live is a good way to watch some plays if you're like me and not fussed about being in a proper theatre.

[Ian]

I've been to... I think three things at the cinema.

I've been to Spamalot and a more amateur-y performance of Spamalot (both we good) and, not to show off my hip, up-to-date musical tastes, 'Sunny Afternoon', a show using the Kinks music. It was also good.

Each time I've enjoyed it enough to go, "Huh, maybe I should seek out some more theatre stuff" and then never bothered my arse to do it.

[AyDee]

My top 5 (in order):

Hamilton
Book of Mormon
Phantom of the Opera
Les Mis
Lion King

Hamilton is next level stuff but, really, Phantom's probably the one which will always have a place in my heart thanks to teenage AD's crush on Christine Daae.

Oh, and Wicked can be a distant 6th. Sound was bizarrely bad for some reason.

[Ian]

I keep thinking I'll give Hamilton a go on Disney+ then I remember it's nearly three hours and I've yet to find myself in the mood to fire it up knowing that.

[niko_cee]

+1 for the anti-ballet crowd, although with three daughters who do it [and a son :face:] and a sister in law who is a teacher I have to suck it up a bit. I recall going to watch her graduation show at Laban, which had some well known experimental choreographer organising a bit of it and it was full-on emperor's new clothes. Dear lord. That said, of the other time I've seen ballet done professionally, which was three short ones, one was actually really good [funny, you could understand the story and it was entertaining] but the other two were dreadful. Literally no idea what was going on.

[Spikey M]

And I thought I had it bad marrying into a family of Chelsea fans. I'll never complain about them again.

[Mike]

I went to see Beauty and the Beast in the theatre in September. I’ve only been to the theatre to see panto before so was very confused when nobody else boo’d Gaston. :D