December Football: Oh Christ

[Waffdon]

I want to know what's happened to Havertz. Both years so far he's had a massive Covid absence on the hush hush.

They said last year it fucked him up for a good few months. He had a false positive this time around but who knows if he then got positive test again.

I’m shocked Lukaku has scored after Chelsea realise crossing it into him and not making him play a target man role works

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tyrone Mings having England caps is baffling. Absolutely miles short at this level.

[Shindig]

Tyrone Mings having England caps is baffling. Absolutely miles short at this level.

What level? The level that includes Stones and Maguire? This is where English centre backs are at.

[Spikey M]

Dier being back in form under Conte presumably sees mings out on his arse in the next squad.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Atkinson has been such a prick to both sides in this game
Maybe he's always a prick.

We have zero ability to manage leads.

[igor_balis]

Atkinson has been such a prick to both sides in this game
Maybe he's always a prick.

We have zero ability to manage leads.

Reads a bit like a poem, that

[phonics]

Arsenal v Wolves is off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The medieval shitlump Konsa should have gone there. Professional foul.

See ya Villa.

[niko_cee]

Never seen so few people before a game at the Amex.

[Andy]

The medieval shitlump Konsa should have gone there. Professional foul.

See ya Villa.

Double jeopardy rule means he doesn't get sent off. It's crazy though, should be a red in my opinion.

[-james-]

What level? The level that includes Stones and Maguire? This is where English centre backs are at.

Manchester City and Manchester United, famous havers of bad players.

[niko_cee]

Nice of Brentford not to turn up like half the stadium.

[Don]

Potterball suffocating the shit out of Bees. Bloom is sleeping well tonight.

[niko_cee]

Your boys have been dire Taz. Seem to have come to sit and knock it long. Is Benham in the away end or is it just Bloom who does that?

[Giggles]

Manchester City and Manchester United, famous havers of bad players.

The latter is forming quite a reputation for it of late, Maguire being her main example.

[Don]

They're just a Danish Stoke. Sooner we sign Toney and get rid of these cunts the better we'll all be for it.

[-james-]

The latter is forming quite a reputation for it of late, Maguire being her main example.

They have an excellent squad.

I dunno about Maguire. I read he was constantly playing through injuries under Ole. He has been excellent for long periods in the past.

[Waffdon]

Double jeopardy rule means he doesn't get sent off. It's crazy though, should be a red in my opinion.

It’s only if he makes a play for the ball you don’t get sent off. He just wiped Lukaku out though without even attempting to go for the ball so no idea why he wasn’t sent off

[-james-]

Brighton winning the xG derby with an xG deficit. :drool:

[Lewis]

I thought City had giant advertising hoardings (the tallest in the Football League) for a minute there.

[ScousePig]

[The] Villa are the most inoffensive team in the league. What is there to even think about them either way?

Their fans think they're the biggest team in the world.

[ScousePig]

They said last year it fucked him up for a good few months. He had a false positive this time around but who knows if he then got positive test again.

I’m shocked Lukaku has scored after Chelsea realise crossing it into him and not making him play a target man role works

Isn't crossing quite a big part of using a target man?

[Shindig]

I feel like the main job of a target man is to latch on to any hopeful hoof upfield.

[ScousePig]

Maybe just a bit of pedantry.

We had a similar situation with Charlie Wyke last season - once we realised that lumping aimless balls up to him didn't work, and actually getting the ball wide and whipping crosses in did, he bagged 30.

[Shindig]

Yeah, they're two different situations that require specific skills. They might not have the strength to hold play up but they can position themselves nicely for a cross.

[Waffdon]

Isn't crossing quite a big part of using a target man?

I guess but target man I my eyes is playing with your back to goal trying to link the play or knocking it on to others whereas Lukaku is far better on the front foot running in behind or getting across his man.

[phonics]

Lukaku's skill that he openly admits is that if you put him on the half turn against anyone, he'll beat them. That's not a target-man.

[Waffdon]

Yeah, and that’s not how he’s been getting played whatsoever so I have no idea what you’re on about

[phonics]

I literally agreed with you and you say I have no idea what I'm talking about. As a fellow survivor, leave off the coke mate.

[Waffdon]

I didn’t say you had no idea what you were talking about bro

[phonics]

I didn’t say you had no idea what you were talking about bro


so I have no idea what you’re on about

...

I didnt quote you. Stop being a dick to everyone you see. It might help.

[Waffdon]

I assumed you were replying to me but had no idea if you were or not hence the original message. Wasn’t saying you had no idea what you were talking about mate. (That’s a first x)

[Panda Bear]

Do you see, Kikó? This is what happens when phonics doesn't post about Arsenal.

[Andy]

It’s only if he makes a play for the ball you don’t get sent off. He just wiped Lukaku out though without even attempting to go for the ball so no idea why he wasn’t sent off

Yeah, I agree. I reckon the referee knew the game was over and thought it was enough to just give the penalty and then blow up after, game was over.

Konsa and Mings looked like children against Lukaku in that second half, someone needed to take pity on them.

From a somehow about Southampton point of view I want Lukaku and Werner to start banging them in so we can keep Broja for another season.

[Kikó]

Do you see, Kikó? This is what happens when phonics doesn't post about Arsenal.

I'm deeply sorry.

Lukaku is a terrible target man.

[Spikey M]

Stop being a dick to everyone you see. It might help.

:happycry:

[Jimmy Floyd]

People (including top managers) only think Lukaku's a target man because he's big and black, really he's more like Huntelaar or someone.

[Gray Fox]

He's even said as much himself.

[Manc]

Target man or not he's garbage.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, shite. The 325 career goals were all mishit passes that caught the keeper off guard.

[Manc]

Boxing day was yesterday, Jim. Get off the ropes.

[Giggles]

We’ve garbage Romelu Lukaku and waff yesterday describing Pulisic as “non league level”. Definitely deep into the FIFA/YouTube age now.

[Waffdon]

Not everything is to be taken so literal, mate. He is absolutely useless up front but I’m not sure it’s really his fault, he’s just not a striker/‘false 9’

[Giggles]

Everything these days is either best ever or worst ever.

[Gray Fox]

He's been a goal a game for Belgium since 2016 IIRC.

[Lewis]

He's obviously good, but he isn't going to make Chelsea (or Belgium) the team they want to be. It was the same at United. Mourinhoball depends on a clinical/big game striker to turn negative shit performances into 'classic Jose Mourinho' :evictory: material, and he is neither.

[Reg]

He's obviously brilliant. I'm struggling to name more than 5 strikers who you'd rather have.

Not as brilliant, however, as Trossard's goal last night.

[randomlegend]

He's obviously brilliant. I'm struggling to name more than 5 strikers who you'd rather have.

Not as brilliant, however, as Trossard's goal last night.

Lewandowski, Haaland, Kane, Ronaldo, Mbappe, Benzema...

[Lewis]

I would take any of the Liverpool three if you are stretching it out to forwards. For the old flogs Luis Suarez, Edinson Cavani, Sergio Aguero as of the other month.

[Giggles]

Ebosele has got to be in our next squad.

[Don]

Ebosele has got to be in our next squad.

Dear lord :drool:

[ScousePig]

If anyone has seen either of our recent games on Sky, we have a young lad named Dan Neil with loads of potential.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Harry Maguire in the bin.

[Don]

Howe making Joelinton into the new Kante. What scenes.

[Waffdon]

I hope Newcastle do bring in a few quality players into their side in January. If not just to see how could Saint-Maximin actually is. He might just suit playing for Newcastle and on the break but he is proper fun to watch regardless

[Kikó]

Big fan of Saint Maximin. He's a real throw back player that you barely see anymore.

We've been shit. Every player bar the full backs and keeper are out of form.

[Don]

Which of these sides is being managed by a top-class high pressing manager who is going to transform their fortunes? One side certainly.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cavani :cool:

Fuck the Saudis.

[Lewis]

Ronaldo being this bollocks has late headed winner all over it.

[Shindig]

Good performance from us tonight. It gives us hope coming out of this rotten run of fixtures.

[Kikó]

Jorge Jesus has been canned. The two defeats to Porto and Sporting plus falling out with the players has lead to his demise.

[randomlegend]

Good performance from us tonight. It gives us hope coming out of this rotten run of fixtures.

I'm afraid you just looked good because you were playing us. See Norwich looking great against us and then getting humped by Villa and Arsenal.

[Reg]

Lewandowski, Haaland, Kane, Ronaldo, Mbappe, Benzema...
*I'm struggling to name more than 6 strikers who you'd rather have.

Point is he's one of the best in the world.

Joelinton was great last night, how's he learned how to play centre mid so suddenly?

Thought Rashford was awful for about an hour, then great for about ten minutes. Cavani should play whenever he's able.

[Shindig]

Wilson and Saint-Maximin injured. Oof. :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

I love Joelinton, principally because I say his name (correctly) differently to everyone else, gives me that base thrill of being a social leper.

[Spikey M]

Joel In-toon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Zhwellinton. Hear it, drink it in.

[niko_cee]

You've not got the Latin America gig yet Vickery.

[Giggles]

Dear lord :drool:

Won’t be long before Nigeria come knocking, if they’re not already. Lybia are looking to cap Elbouzedi now too. Though I wouldn’t blame either for playing elsewhere.

[John Arne]

Dele "Dele" Alli is trash.

[Spikey M]

Only for about 2 years now.

[Spikey M]

Peak retardation from Salisu.

[Shindig]

Fucking armpit rule. It's going to his feet, you idiots.

[Andy]

Peak retardation from Salisu.

Too over zealous all game before the red. Can't really blame him though he's been like that all season and easily our best player.

[Waffdon]

Liverpool will score 4 or 5 against that Leicester team. Should be goals galore for both teams hopefully.

[Waffdon]

That camera angle for the penalty needs thrown in a fire immediately

[Boydy]

I like it.

[Gray Fox]

I don’t know how he’s missed the rebounds there.

[Waffdon]

He’s always a bit meh for a wee while during and after the Christmas period isn’t he?

Like Harry Kane and August

[Shindig]

And Covid's postponed our game.

[Waffdon]

Leicester’s defence is obviously terrible but their midfield 3 tonight are honking as well. Can’t trap a bag of cement and have no positional awareness whatsoever

[Gray Fox]

Fortunately for them this is one of those games for Salah.

[niko_cee]

Matip on the rampage. :cool:

Feels like a bit of a superkeepering so someone's going to need to arse one in.

[Shindig]

It'll be Henderson from an inch out.

[niko_cee]

I say superkeepering, what I mean is inability to hit the target from good chances for the most part.

[Waffdon]

That’s a Harry Kane snide special from Matip. No idea how they aren’t given as fouls never mind yellows

[niko_cee]

That Sonos advert. :sick:

[Gray Fox]

No idea why there's no one willing to run at their defence tonight. Naby Keita would love this.

Feels like a game where Salah will waste another 2 good chances and then Vardy scores in the 88th minute or so.

[niko_cee]

Liverpool probably just need to hang in there until Leicester die in the 75th minute or so, if my understanding of 'elite recovery' is correct.

[Waffdon]

Liverpool rarely ever lose games. It’s the draws that cuck them up under Klopp. Jota free header after an hour or something incoming

[Waffdon]

Leicester’s defence is obviously terrible but their midfield 3 tonight are honking as well. Can’t trap a bag of cement and have no positional awareness whatsoever

I lied. Dewsbury-Hall looks like he can take a touch. The other two, not so much

[Shindig]

Aye, Chowdury looks iffy under pressure.

[Foe]

Chowdhury looks iffy for the full 90 minutes. Horrendous player.

Dewsbury-Hall is a really tidy player to try and develop. He will get tielemans minutes when he moves to one of the elite teams.

[Gray Fox]

Firmino on for Mane and Jota wide ASAP please.

[Waffdon]

Not like a goal or a chance to come down the right side of the defence for Liverpool. :lol:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lovely finish by Lookman.

[Gray Fox]

No one following the ball down the right was quite irritating. That's been coming though. Can't expect to waste the chances we have and get away with it.

[ScousePig]

Newcastle had 19 players available last night, yet have successfully managed to have Thursday's game called off. This isn't a criticism of them as such as there will be plenty of teams doing it, but can the Premier League not see that teams are just requesting to call off their games because their best players are injured?

[Gray Fox]

How many chances do they want?

Could play until the Chelsea game here and we wouldnt score.

[Boydy]

Liverpool will score 4 or 5 against that Leicester team. Should be goals galore for both teams hopefully.

This is your fault, you prick.

[Adramelch]

He was arguing that Man City are not in with a chance to win the league in early November, so I don't think you can expect much.

[Lewis]

Well done City another title well deserved.

[Shindig]

Newcastle had 19 players available last night, yet have successfully managed to have Thursday's game called off. This isn't a criticism of them as such as there will be plenty of teams doing it, but can the Premier League not see that teams are just requesting to call off their games because their best players are injured?

From our squad of 25 we have 9 injured/unavailable, 1 suspended and whatever else happens with Covid positives. I'm not defending it but, if I had the chance to delay it til the new year, I would.

[Manc]

Mane turning into prime Jan Koller for injury time was fun.

[Waffdon]

This is your fault, you prick.

It’s beautiful to be a jinx

[Waffdon]

He was arguing that Man City are not in with a chance to win the league in early November, so I don't think you can expect much.

I just couldn’t understand why they were still odds on but then I didn’t take into account Chelsea turning into a charity every December.

[Spoonsky]

Classic Liverpool self-immolation while the City machine moves ahead unchecked. So frustrating.

[phonics]

6 points off second. Going to completely pretend the next game isn’t City.

[Don]

Milner on when behind, the vax has rotted the Nazi cunt's brain.

[ScousePig]

From our squad of 25 we have 9 injured/unavailable, 1 suspended and whatever else happens with Covid positives. I'm not defending it but, if I had the chance to delay it til the new year, I would.

That's what I mean, it's been called off due to injuries. Newcastle have even put a statement out saying they won't disclose who the Covid cases are.

I bet they won't!

[Manc]

Does Henry know where he is? Horrendous pundit.

[Spikey M]

That's what I mean, it's been called off due to injuries. Newcastle have even put a statement out saying they won't disclose who the Covid cases are.

I bet they won't!

They're not allowed to, are they? Not without player consent, anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

No idea how Liverpool are on the same points as us at halfway. They haven't spread their good play very efficiently.

[ScousePig]

They're not allowed to, are they? Not without player consent, anyway.

Yes I think that's right, in fairness.

[phonics]

No idea how Liverpool are on the same points as us at halfway. They haven't spread their good play very efficiently.

Same from just below you.

And somehow Spurs are 5 points behind us with 2 games against Burnley and some other nobody. It's going to be a true battle of King of London.

[Panda Bear]

Although a Rhod rather than a Bob moment, I remain annoyed that David Mitchell doesn't understand that you do go "flying off the top of the escalator" when it's stopped because the final step will have a much lower rise* than all the steps before it, which screws people up.

* There is a very low chance it may be at the correct rise when the escalator stops.

[Baz]

Is soccer played on escalators in Canadia?

[Ian]

I'd watch it.

[Boydy]

1476179092651352073

:D

Ha.

[Pepe]

Straight from Captain Tsubasa.

[Spikey M]

Genius. Try man marking that.

[Lewis]

They can only mark shirt numbers to begin with.

[Shindig]

For a hot second, I though Graham Potter was Roman Abramovich.

[Manc]

The beard really has done wonders for his aesthetic.

[Shindig]

It made Gareth Southgate the man he is.

[Waffdon]

Maupay :lol:

[Waffdon]

Kante must be the most influential player in the world. The difference he makes to anyone around him is mental

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Danny Welbeck :cool:

[Waffdon]

Ben Brereton hasn’t half turned into a player since deciding he was from Chile

[Ian]

Danny Welbeck :cool:

:wub:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-59827047

Footballers who play for China's national team have been banned from getting tattoos - and advised to remove ones they have - under a new directive.

:lol:

[Shindig]

That's been a thing in Japan for decades.

[Waffdon]

I’ve just clocked Aaron Lennon is still a footballer never mind starting Premier League games for Burnley. Bloody hell

[Dquincy]

3-0 Utd tonight.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

McTominay showing Ronaldo how to do it.

[Shindig]

Burnley are way too open to get anything from this.

[Lewis]

United need to batter somebody. It has been better recently, but the attack is just falling over itself (Ronaldo must be on the brink), and it probably doesn't help introducing a PRESSING style two years into the never-ending covid season.

[Gray Fox]

This has been fucking dire.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Destroy them please.

[Waffdon]

United need to batter somebody. It has been better recently, but the attack is just falling over itself (Ronaldo must be on the brink), and it probably doesn't help introducing a PRESSING style two years into the never-ending covid season.

It has? You were played off the park by Norwich and Newcastle in the last two weeks.

This might finally be the season Burnley go down :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

McSauce looking good.

[Lewis]

It has? You were played off the park by Norwich and Newcastle in the last two weeks.

This might finally be the season Burnley go down :drool:

They didn't lose either of those games. Better.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

3-0 Ronaldo.

[Lewis]

Doing the celebration as well. What a competitor.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That defending :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why was McCoist soiling himself that Ronaldo used the outside of his right foot for the tap in btw?

[Lewis]

Luke Shaw ambling back for the Burnley goal after an otherwise decent half sums him up. Maguire did what he could.

[Waffdon]

Joao Cancelo got burgled earlier today. Some shiner he’s got trying to fight them off.

Swear multiple players get burgled every season

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd be surprised if every player in the league isn't repeatedly burgled once it's known where they live, especially in the north west which has a chunky population of pikeys and fellow, erm, travellers.

[Lewis]

Apparently seriously wealthy people (high-profile ones presumably even more so) can't get any sort of home/personal insurance without properly good security to hide behind, whether it's those windows and doors that can withstand a severe pounding from would-be burglars or alarms or private guards or whatever, so I always figure footballers make good targets because they're more liable to be divvy bastards living in houses they buy/rent off each other and don't think to personalise.

[Waffdon]

Is Wayne Rooney actually a good manager? He’s doing some job there considering their squad. Wouldn’t be too far off play offs without that points deduction

[John Arne]

I still find it bizarre that anyone earning over $50k A WEEK doesn't just employ a company to stand outside their house 24/7.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Dyche v Klopp beef about player welfare is pretty good. I'm very much on Dyche's side. Klopp is only whingeing (every year, as is Pep) because he only wants to play in one style, with mad high pressing at maximum intensity. If he adapted his football to the demands of the schedule then there wouldn't be a problem.

[Don]

There might not be a problem for the players' welfare but we'd all be left having to watch Tuchel-ball for entertainment. Thankfully that cunt is also taking the limelight away from his fellow nazi with his own top class whining.

[Lewis]

Our schedule probably is a bit stupid, but it is what it is, the fans like it, and you all have massive expensive squads. Love it or leave it you know where the door is.

[Alex]

Magic

Have you seen this about Kalvin (and Liam Cooper too, but he's less of a concern) not being expected back from injury until March? Fair to say we're in a fucking spot of bother here.

[Magic]

Magic

Have you seen this about Kalvin (and Liam Cooper too, but he's less of a concern) not being expected back from injury until March? Fair to say we're in a fucking spot of bother here.

Yep and some until Feb. Lockdown plz.

[Gray Fox]

Klopp confirming 3 new COVID cases in the team. He wont say who but word on the street is Alisson, Keita and Firmino.

Just let City book the title parade now.

[Don]

Get Salah and Mane to make out with Naby immediately.

[Alex]

Yep and some until Feb. Lockdown plz.

Void the season. :drool:

[Raoul Duke]

Get Salah and Mane to make out with Naby immediately.

Will you calm the fuck down with your homoerotic fan fic. Get a Tumblr, ffs

[Shindig]

And our match on Sunday is off.

[Gray Fox]

Add Alisson, Keita and Bobby to the list with the injuries to Thiago, Minamino, Origi. I dont think we'd be too many off getting ours called off from here either.

[niko_cee]

Mané, Salah and Keita to mysteriously fail tests and suddenly be unavailable for Afcon.