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ItalAussie
18-10-2015, 11:19 PM
Anything to do with writing scripts.

"Who writes your scripts?"
"You couldn't write a script like this!"
And so on.

I can't explain why it bugs me so much, other than sheer overuse. I'm even alright when it's not about writing scripts, like "that wasn't part of the script". But something about the overuse of the scriptwriting imagery has started to bug me. It's like when the word "talisman" was ridiculously overused for five years or so, then everyone collectively realised it sounded stupid and binned it.

What cliches bug you?

ItalAussie
18-10-2015, 11:20 PM
Anything that goes "like a tracer bullet" is equally annoying. Mostly because it's just an unnecessarily pretentious way of saying "like a bullet".

Sir Andy Mahowry
18-10-2015, 11:21 PM
'He's back to his best'

Lewis
18-10-2015, 11:26 PM
The use of 'lackadaisical' seems to have taken off in recent years. I'm sure it's not pronounced 'lacksy-daisy-kal' as well.

Yevrah
18-10-2015, 11:27 PM
Back to his best/he's proved his critics wrong is the absolute pits, used exclusively as it is after about one good peformance (following a sea of shite).

SvN
18-10-2015, 11:30 PM
The "You couldn't write this" quote is the worst for me. He's scored a last minute winner you twat, hardly a pulitzer winning tale.

John
18-10-2015, 11:34 PM
'He's answered his critics' can get to fuck, particularly when used in the Suarez sense, where people calling him a racist shit were answered by him scoring some goals.

DC
18-10-2015, 11:54 PM
Anything that gets named after 1 player (exception provided for the Cruijff Turn, or iain Dowie Own Goal or Carlton Palmers Header) particularly the mundane long cross field pass that achieves nothing but has the commentators reaching for their tissues. I can accept some players become associated with a "move".

Anything to do with "sporting minnows" or "they are a big club", particularly "sleeping giant" type shite about Newcastle and Sunderland who have won 3/5ths of naff all since....well....ever....as if volume of supporters, relative size of the town, or nation should decide the level of success of club. In which case we should al be shitting a brick at the next World Cup when India and China get themselves sorted.

Max Power
19-10-2015, 11:16 AM
Anything that goes "like a tracer bullet" is equally annoying. Mostly because it's just an unnecessarily pretentious way of saying "like a bullet".

Does anyone except Shastri say this though? :D

The "you couldn't write a script like this" one is especially daft because yes, you could right a script where a team scores two late goals or something, people have written more outlandish and imaginative scripts than whatever could occur in a sporting event.

SvN
19-10-2015, 11:22 AM
One that isn't so much a cliche, but rather a piece of shit commentary...

When a player takes a godawful penalty and the keeper dives the wrong way, it's almost always described as being "Coolly slotted away", when in reality, they're just fortunate that the keeper committed himself the wrong way.

Davgooner
19-10-2015, 11:23 AM
Fans are worse than pundits when it comes to this type of crap.

igor_balis
19-10-2015, 11:34 AM
in and around

Disco
19-10-2015, 11:47 AM
The misunderstanding of how a sandwich works.

'Car X is in a Ferrari sandwich' No he fucking isn't.

simon
19-10-2015, 11:47 AM
Top.

Top, top.

Top, top, top.

igor_balis
19-10-2015, 11:49 AM
The misunderstanding of how a sandwich works.

'Car X is in a Ferrari sandwich' No he fucking isn't.

mmm open faced club sandwich

Benny
19-10-2015, 12:04 PM
"Too good to go down"

Fuck off, they're not too good if over a 38 game season they're in the bottom three.

CJay
19-10-2015, 12:05 PM
One that isn't so much a cliche, but rather a piece of shit commentary...

When a player takes a godawful penalty and the keeper dives the wrong way, it's almost always described as being "Coolly slotted away", when in reality, they're just fortunate that the keeper committed himself the wrong way.

Really? How do you differentiate between a terrible penalty and the taker sending the keeper the wrong way (or knowing which way he tends to dive)? Are all penalties where the keeper dives the wrong way just a case of bad goalkeeping?

John Arne
19-10-2015, 12:06 PM
When commentators say "ironic cheers by the crowd", when they mean 'sarcastic'.

SvN
19-10-2015, 12:08 PM
Really? How do you differentiate between a terrible penalty and the taker sending the keeper the wrong way (or knowing which way he tends to dive)? Are all penalties where the keeper dives the wrong way just a case of bad goalkeeping?

Nope, not at all - I didn't mention goalkeeping at all. But playing a weak penalty along the ground that the keeper barely misses with his feet is a shit penalty that went in out of fortune rather than being a well placed finish.

You can send a keeper the wrong way without hitting it weakly or barely off centre.

Ian
19-10-2015, 07:58 PM
"It was going in from the moment it left his boot!" Well, I suppose the majority were.

Also, along similar lines to "you couldn't write this" but used by players, managers and the like is when they say something is "Beyond our/my wildest dreams!" What, beating [team] was beyond your WILDEST dreams? The most insane, mental thing you could imagine happening didn't even go as far as being good at the thing you're paid to do? Alright.

Shindig
20-10-2015, 07:43 AM
You just can't write <blank> off!

John Arne
20-10-2015, 08:06 AM
The penalty "lottery" always irks somewhat.

Jimmy Floyd
20-10-2015, 09:43 AM
The one I've started to hate is the following exchange:

Reporter: Where does this victory/goal/trophy/0-0 draw rank?

Player: It's [got to be] right up there.

Bob Sacamano
20-10-2015, 10:00 AM
Anyone going down in 'Folklore' :sick:

leedsrevolution
20-10-2015, 10:16 AM
We've always known he's a good shot stopper.

Sam
20-10-2015, 10:27 AM
'They just don't know when they're beaten!'

Pretty sure they're not beaten until the final whistle goes, if they didn't know that, I'd be worried.

Jimmy Floyd
20-10-2015, 10:53 AM
We've always known he's a good shot stopper.

You never seem to get goalkeepers who have excellent command of the penalty area, but ropey shot stopping.

Ian
20-10-2015, 08:31 PM
"He's not that sort of player."

As if a pundit is ever going to say "Actually, he's a properly dirty cunt and would probably do something like that because it makes him hard."

Kikó
20-10-2015, 10:12 PM
"He hit it too well if anything"

No, he missed and he over hit it. Twat.

Ian
20-10-2015, 10:20 PM
When a player goes close "He's desperately unlucky there." Or not good enough on that particular occasion. You decide.

ScousePig
21-10-2015, 06:12 AM
"Entitled to go down."

Pretty much anything written in here/any cliche ever written.

Samadini
21-10-2015, 06:38 AM
The one I've started to hate is the following exchange:

Reporter: Where does this victory/goal/trophy/0-0 draw rank?

Player: It's [got to be] right up there.

Gareth Bale had an interview with BBC which was 5 minutes of nothing but that and his annoying smirk. Fuck off.

leedsrevolution
21-10-2015, 06:52 AM
He's good player but lacks in football intelligence.

Giggles
21-10-2015, 06:57 AM
Heart, determination, etc.

Bollocks.