Do you think you could win a Paralympic event?

[Offshore Toon]

Lets just pretend that there's been a clerical error and you've forced your way into an event of your choosing. Do you reckon you could get on the podium?

Blind stuff not included, although going up against blind footballers would be great fun.

[Disco]

I could beat that guy who plays table tennis with no arms, no problem.

[Giggles]

Not a hope. I don’t think very many would at all.

[Baz]

How fast do they do 100m, for comparison?

[Giggles]

How fast do they do 100m, for comparison?

I tried to look that up but there seems to be loads of different T categories for it and I don’t know what they mean.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, there are different classifications of disabled so that you don't get a one legged bloke up against a partially blind man.

[Giggles]

A lot of them seemed to be in around the 10.5 second mark.

[Offshore Toon]

Athletics would probably be the hardest to take over. They're the most popular and accessible events so you're going up against a large playing population and years of conditioning.

[Queenslander]

I could medal in the Blind long jump.

[randomlegend]

Is there 1-legged 100m or 1-armed weightlifting?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My best bet would be 50m or 100m freestyle.

I doubt I'd medal though, even in the worst disability classification though.

Edit: the worst has a WR time of just over a minute for the 50m. That's easy to beat.

[Shindig]

I could smash that. What's the disability we'd have to fake?

[Lewis]

That woman who wins all the cycling is pretty much normal Olympic standard, but her gimp arm gets her into this. Is a gimp arm that much of a hindrance on a track if you fix it into place?

[Pepe]

If it was, she would not be normal Olympic standard.

[Pepe]

I am sure that if I tried to race around the track with one arm only I would crash within a minute, but once you get used to it, I can't see it being an issue. You don't need to break or shift on the track. As long as you can pedal and get into a good position, you should be fine.

[John Arne]

When I was younger I was a semi-decent 800m runner (top 20 county) and had a race against Noel Thatcher, a partially sighted multi-gold medal Olympian. He smashed the whole field.

[Spikey M]

I'd 2 foot tackle every one of those blind footballer cunts.

[Shindig]

I bet blind shooting would be a good event.

[Lofty]

I am sure that if I tried to race around the track with one arm only I would crash within a minute, but once you get used to it, I can't see it being an issue. You don't need to break or shift on the track. As long as you can pedal and get into a good position, you should be fine.

There is a whole thing about people faking disabilities or even getting surgery to 'enhance' their disabilities so they can stay in contention for the medals, as mental as it sounds. Apparently there is a prime example on the Australian team.

[Queenslander]

There is a whole thing about people faking disabilities or even getting surgery to 'enhance' their disabilities so they can stay in contention for the medals, as mental as it sounds. Apparently there is a prime example on the Australian team.

:D

"Allegations of cheating, threats and cover-ups aimed at Australian Paralympic swimming - ABC News" https://amp.abc.net.au/article/9221084


The Australian Paralympic movement is being implicated in global concerns about cheating, intimidation and cover-ups.

Of course it's bloody swimming. That "sport" is full of nonces and sociopaths

[Spikey M]

Cycling is the ultimate sociopath sport.

[Queenslander]

That's a good call. The amount of spandex that big fellas think they can get a away with around here on the weekend is terrifying.

[Lewis]

It's decided like indigenous status. If you had an injury once, and you can get a disabled person to go along with it, you qualify.

[Queenslander]

It's decided like indigenous status. If you had an injury once, and you can get a disabled person to go along with it, you qualify.

Lol

I'm borrowing this

[Lewis]

'As a proud sprainedanklian man it means a lot to be able to represent...'

[Pepe]

Don't hate on the spandex.

[Queenslander]

Shameless boomers with smooshed tackle and half their arse hanging out in public is more my problem than spandex itself.

I might start taking photos of these blokes having a well earned break at the local coffee shops after their hectic 1.5km Sunday ride.

[Lofty]

What pisses me off more is the cunts riding through parks at speed in a little wank peloton forcing pedistrians to have to get out of the way with little notice, half of them don't even have the courtesy to say thanks as they go past.

Need lining up and executing, in the ditch next to the nonces.

[Giggles]

If you can get the right angle on a clothesline you can take the group in one go. And if they’re on a pedestrian path then you don’t even need to feel bad about it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was driving down a one way street the other way and a peloton (or at least an eight-man breakaway group) came towards me the wrong way, forcing me to stop dead while they filtered around me. I opened the window and shouted 'Stupid cunts!', two of them gave me the finger back. A fine time was had by all.

[Mike]

Would I have to wear a blindfold to take part in blind football?

[Disco]

Could I win all the equestrian events with a slightly mongy horse?

[Shindig]

Shetland ponies are basically Downs horses.

[Pepe]

Cyclists riding on pedestrian paths do deserve getting shot. Same with those going in the wrong direction when in a large group.

Only once did some guys I rode with all the time convince me to stop for coffee after the ride. Sitting there bathing in my sweat, wearing shoes you cannot walk on and tight, brightly colored clothes while drinking a hot chocolate might be one of the worst experiences of my life.

[Lewis]

Sounds like somebody has forgotten their roots.

[Pepe]

If I am going to be sitting on my sweaty arse, it better be while eating some tacos.