The Duke is Dead

[John Arne]

Philip has popped his clogs.

[Magic]

Just seen the top trolling by ITV.

The message reads...Her Majesty, The Queen...*long pause* announces her Husband :eyemouth:

[Ian]

This will somehow, presumably, be Meghan and Harry's fault.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why was this not prefaced by hours of twitter rumours?

Some of the oldest obits on file coming out here. Some of them probably being dusted off from the 50s.

[Pleb]

So this date is a bank holiday now?

[Magic]

https://live-production.wcms.abc-cdn.net.au/e45f0785cb26eaf1a8e8b2c560770db4?impolicy=wcms_cro p_resize&cropH=297&cropW=527&xPos=0&yPos=180&width=862&height=485

[7om]

He’s been a walking corpse for about five years.

[Lewis]

Saying that fusebox looked like it had been 'put in by an Indian' was the last great event of the twentieth century.

[Queenslander]

Saying that fusebox looked like it had been 'put in by an Indian' was the last great event of the twentieth century.

Hopefully someone does a best of list.

[Offshore Toon]

How long do you think BBC will interrupt broadcasts for news nobody cares about? I can understand Radio 5 doing so, and maybe 2-4, but nobody on Radio 1 knows who he is and nobody on Radio 6 cares. I've just checked and they've done it for 1xtra as well. :D Fair enough, that's made up for the rest. Gonna check Twitter cause there will be some pissed off youts.

[Spikey M]

Hopefully someone does a best of list.

They'll all bottle it. The BBC are currently dancing around the issue by saying he had a "sharp mind and sometimes sharp tongue"

[Spikey M]

How long do you think BBC will interrupt broadcasts for news nobody cares about? I can understand Radio 5 doing so, and maybe 2-4, but nobody on Radio 1 knows who he is and nobody on Radio 6 cares. I've just checked and they've done it for 1xtra as well. :D Fair enough, that's made up for the rest. Gonna check Twitter cause there will be some pissed off youts.

It's a shame he couldn't hang on until the Grand National was on. Or better yet, the headline set at Glastonbury.

[Queenslander]

They'll all bottle it. The BBC are currently dancing around the issue by saying he had a "sharp mind and sometimes sharp tongue"

:D

That is perfect!

[Spikey M]

Someone's clearly got Boris out of bed for this. The state of him :D

[John Arne]

It is only a matter of weeks since the prince provoked similar offence when he asked a group of profoundly deaf children if they had lost their hearing listening to a Caribbean band that was obviously not to his taste.

In Scotland, he recently commiserated with students for being unfortunate enough to be studying in Glasgow. Four years ago, he asked a Scottish driving instructor: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"

He is also unafraid to take his insensitivities abroad. In 1986 he described Beijing as ghastly, before telling British students there: "If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty eyed."

In Germany, he offended chancellor Helmut Kohl by addressing him by Hitler's Nazi title, reichskanzler.

The prince has described Hungarians as pot-bellied and feigned amazement that a student trekking in Papua New Guinea had managed to do so without being eaten by cannibals. Brazil, also, would apparently be a paradise were it not for the Brazilians


There's probably much better out there.

[7om]

:lol:

[Spikey M]

There's probably much better out there.

:lol:

[Queenslander]

:lol:

[Lewis]

Telling that kid he was too fat to be an astronaut might have been the opening of the new century as well.

[Mellberg]

Bad time to lose your wicket.

[Ian]

Thank goodness there are seven links to this on the BBC front page otherwise you might not notice.

[Don]

How long do you think BBC will interrupt broadcasts for news nobody cares about? I can understand Radio 5 doing so, and maybe 2-4, but nobody on Radio 1 knows who he is and nobody on Radio 6 cares. I've just checked and they've done it for 1xtra as well. :D Fair enough, that's made up for the rest. Gonna check Twitter cause there will be some pissed off youts.

This baffled me too.

[Magic]

Omg they even did it to CBBC. :harold:

[Magic]

Suppose it's good to know if your potential abuser is dead.

:henn0rz:

[Pepe]

Those quotes. :D

Whoever that due was, he sounds like a bit of a don.

[Spikey M]

Those quotes. :D

Whoever that due was, he sounds like a bit of a don.

The Queen's husband.

[Queenslander]

The Queen's husband.

And Sir Prince Phillip of Australia.

[Raoul Duke]

Gives me a chance to break this out:

https://img.ifunny.co/images/5ac0ed7601fd0e38f54b274be9845973f0ab9f69ce6a257455 3f050c0e99c1a0_1.jpg

[Queenslander]

https://i.ibb.co/8zwPCCz/FB-IMG-1617969843801.jpg (https://ibb.co/DGFwJJG)

[Disco]

Day off for a state funeral please.

[Spikey M]

He was only 2 months away from getting a letter from the Queen. :(

[Alex]

"If it has four legs and it is not a chair, if it has two wings and flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." Again with the Chinese insults, when he addressed a World Wildlife Fund meeting in 1986.

:D

An early warning against COVID, you could say.

[7om]

From Reddit:

1966: "British women can't cook".

1969: "What do you gargle with, pebbles?" To Sir Tom Jones after a Royal Variety Performance.

1981: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." During the 1981 recession.

1984: "You are a woman, aren't you?" In Kenya after accepting a small gift from a local woman.

1986: "If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed." To a group of British students during a royal visit to China.

1988: "It looks like a tart's bedroom." On seeing plans for the Duke and Duchess of York's house at Sunninghill Park.

1992: "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease." In Australia when asked to stroke a koala.

1993: "You can't have been here that long, you haven't got a pot belly". To a Briton he met in Hungary.

1994: "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" To a wealthy islander in the Cayman Islands.

1995: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test." To a Scottish driving instructor.

1996: "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" In response to calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting.

1997: "Bloody silly fool!" Referring to a Cambridge University car park attendant who did not recognise him.

1999: "Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf." Speaking to a group of young deaf people in Cardiff who were standing near a steel band.

1999: "It looks as if it was put in by an Indian." Referring to an old-fashioned fuse box in a factory near Edinburgh.

2001: "You're too fat to be an astronaut." To 13-year-old Andrew Adams who told Prince Philip he wanted to go into space.

2002: "Still throwing spears?" Question put to an Australian Aborigine during a visit.

2002: "You look like a suicide bomber." To a young policewoman wearing a bullet-proof vest on Stornoway, Isle of Lewis.

2009: "There's a lot of your family in tonight." After looking at the name badge of businessman Atul Patel at a Palace reception for British Indians.

2009: "Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?" To designer Stephen Judge about his tiny goatee beard.

2010: "Do you have a pair of knickers made out of this?" To Scottish Conservative leader Annabel Goldie Pointing while pointing to some tartan in Edinburgh.

2010: "Do you work in a strip club?" To 24-year-old Barnstaple Sea Cadet Elizabeth Rendle when she told him she also worked in a nightclub.

2012: "I would get arrested if I unzipped that dress." To 25-year-old council worker Hannah Jackson, who was wearing a dress with a zip running the length of its front, on a Jubilee visit to Bromley, Kent.

2013: "The Philippines must be half empty as you're all here running the NHS." On meeting a Filipino nurse at Luton and Dunstable Hospital.

2013: "[Children] go to school because their parents don't want them in the house." To Malala Yousafzai, who survived an assassination attempt by the Taliban and now campaigns for the right of girls to go to school without fear.

2017: "You look starved." To a pensioner on a visit to the Charterhouse almshouse for elderly men.

[Disco]

This is the top story on the BBC Sport page, right next to a second story about him. Did they think people wouldn't have noticed?

[Ian]

Masterchef final not getting broadcast. Now I've got a reason to care.

[Don]

Both BBC channels wiped of programmes? Jesus, talk about an overreaction.

[Spikey M]

Masterchef final not getting broadcast. Now I've got a reason to care.

Isn't that on at 9 o'clock or something? Are they going to be repeating the same old shit all weekend?

Just put it on the News Channel you slags.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The performative 'I don't care' people are far worse than the people who do care. I saw someone on cricket twitter (a surprisingly left wing milieu, though I guess that's twitter for you) absolutely lose their shit with rage because they had a minute's silence at Essex v Worcestershire.

[Ian]

They're laughable, but then you seem to fill your Twitter feed with people you like to sneer at and pretend their equally cretinous counterparts on The Right don't exist.

[Pleb]

Both BBC channels wiped of programmes? Jesus, talk about an overreaction.
Don't fucking panic mate, they haven't (sorry I meant didn't) cancelled Countdown.

[John Arne]

Just seen the top trolling by ITV.

The message reads...Her Majesty, The Queen...*long pause* announces her Husband :eyemouth:

Just seen that. Looks very intentional :D


https://youtu.be/zJWXer7jc6o

[Pleb]

ITV has had enough for today and have cancelled their schedule.

[Spikey M]

I understand why they cancelled everything for things like this back in the days before freeview, but there really is no need these days. People can put on the news channels whenever they want. What's the point?

[Spikey M]

1380525447453286402?s=19

[Jimmy Floyd]

Similarly, I try to stick it right up the Labour party by constantly being as lazy as possible.

[Kikó]

Do people actually watch what's on TV? (other than football)

[Pleb]

The Masterchef final clearly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Do people actually watch what's on TV? (other than football)

Yeah, in massive numbers. The idea that they don't is one of the fallacies of our times.

Think we social ABs probably don't (or much less) so it feels like people don't, but they do.

[Lewis]

I watched half of today's Neighbours on the Channel 5 player, turned it off at about three to ring somebody, and now it has been removed. But it had already been shown. What?

[Kikó]

I'm sure people do, I was just wondering what our viewing habits were as a forum.

[Spoonsky]

Yeah, in massive numbers. The idea that they don't is one of the fallacies of our times.

Think we social ABs probably don't (or much less) so it feels like people don't, but they do.

What's a social AB?

[Spikey M]

Social ass bitches.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What's a social AB?

https://www.ukgeographics.co.uk/blog/social-grade-a-b-c1-c2-d-e

It's an awful sociological thing that wonks and marketing people love to use.

[Spikey M]

Mines better.

[Shindig]

Jim'll Paint It is in some hot bother with the royalists. He put up a picture featuring the Duke earlier in the week. Out of respect he replaced him with The Count and that's upset some thumb-sucking flag fuckers.

[Disco]

+1 for not watching 'normal' tv, or owning one for that matter.

[Waffdon]

Gogglebox and The Circle are on tonight. Channel 4 - good guys.

[Waffdon]

1380515993714311172

Pints at McLean’s house

[Boydy]

+1 for not watching 'normal' tv, or owning one for that matter.

Yeah, yeah, so you always tell us.

[Disco]

Someone asked. :sorry:

[Lewis]

Somebody at my work never misses a chance to remind everyone he doesn't own a computer, which I think is because he knows he looks like a child molester.

[Disco]

I just never used it, honest. :uhoh:

[Shindig]

I re-up the license every year but barely watch any actual television outside of World Cup / Euro / Olympics.

[7om]

BBC front page sub-headline reads 'An Extraordinary Man Who Led an Extraordinary Life'.

I love his lol comments as much as the next person, but how is he extraordinary?

[Lewis]

As opposed to an ordinary man living an ordinary life?

[-james-]

1380584785047871490


He'd be fuming.

[7om]

An ordinary bloke living an extraordinary life, I reckon. He was banging prozzies all over the world in the war and then the Queen. Let's not go downplaying it either.

[Shindig]

I mean, the obituary the BBC have sums it up well.

[Spikey M]

Born into royalty, fled his home country after his father was overthrown and sentenced to death, joined the Navy in his adoptive country, only to end up fighting against his own relatives, then he married the queen and spunked his bloodline back into royalty.

Fairs fair, like.

[Queenslander]

Morning TV is asking will Harry and Meghan attend the funeral?

[Disco]

Relatives only.

[Shindig]

"Wait in the car, Meghan."

[Lewis]

'It's me Oprah! It was me all along, Oprah!'

[7om]

Philip to orchestrate a car crash from beyond the grave :drool:

[Queenslander]

In memory of Philip no darkies allowed.

[Baz]

I don't understand people lolling at some of his questionable quotes. Everyone's grandads at least a little bit racist.

Hope the queen's doing alright.

[7om]

She’ll cope I reckon. Somehow.

[SincereTheRebel]

My dad used to tell me. Never cry any tears over any dead white boy.

[Queenslander]

My dad used to tell me. Never cry any tears over any dead white boy.

:D

[Kikó]

Nothing like a real feel good motto to live your life to.

[Spikey M]

I hear that in the voice of Patrick Trueman and it touches my soul.

[Ian]

Now DMX as well. I hope the BBC replace all programming for the rest of the day with "X Gon Give It To Ya" on a loop.

[Don]

You wonder how prepared some of these responses have been. Have the radio stations had a Queen passing away playlist and plans that they're now testing out? I quite like the focus and relative silence on everything else going on, brings a bit of restpite from the noise.

[Spikey M]

It will have been prepared for years. They'll have the same ready to go for Lizzy Lizard and probably Charles too.

[Raoul Duke]

They have them prepared for most major celebrities and run occasionally drills to test them with presenters etc.

[Don]

Yep, seems so...

1380620186890297344?s=20

[Mellberg]

Two minutes silence? Fuck that.

[Shindig]

Anne Yearsley, 82, from Waltham St Lawrence in Berkshire, has brought her grandchildren Cordelia, 10, and Sherlock, six, to Windsor Castle.

Poor cunts.

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/15D6F/production/_117955498_microsoftteams-image.png

[Spikey M]

:D

That boy can't wait for her to die

[Ian]

Cordelia and Sherlock. Fucking hell.

[Shindig]

"Get your military coat, Sherlock."
"She's not wearing one."
"Get. Your. Fucking. Coat."

[Spikey M]

Cordelia and Sherlock. Fucking hell.

Eton bound. They're probably already getting bullied by Rees-Moggs shit-cunt kids.

[Yevrah]

"Get your military coat, Sherlock."
"She's not wearing one."
"Get. Your. Fucking. Coat."

Genuine lol at that. :lol:

[Queenslander]

Australia is mourning the soft cunts.

[Ian]

Eton bound. They're probably already getting bullied by Rees-Moggs shit-cunt kids.

In Latin too so they won't even know what names they're called.

[SincereTheRebel]

Just spoke to my mom who said they have cut off her soaps for this dead prince.

[Shindig]

And when they come back, they'll have an episode where everybody comments on it.

[Spikey M]

Can't wait to hear Danny Dyer say what a Proppa good geezer he was.

[Shindig]

Watching the Leeds highlights now and realised they didn't turn the fake crowd off for the minute's silence. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

The cricket authorities have just informed us that all clubs have to cease their matches for an hour (3-4pm) next Saturday as a mark of respect to the Duke. I would lol, but we're not even allowed inside the building at the moment, so they're basically asking us to stop, have a minute's silence, then sit outside for an hour doing fuck all before carrying on with the game. I very much doubt it's what he would have wanted.

[Lewis]

Sheffield United vs Wolves has been pushed back to avoid a clash with the funeral, but also so he can troll one last Black Country on his way out.

[Spikey M]

"He was my grandpa: master of the barbecue, legend of banter and cheeky right ‘til the end.”

You're going to have to ease off the Loveable Everyman Schtick, Hazza. You'll end up on Towie if you go any further down this road.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Surprised he didn't call him a 'real swell dude' for the benefit of his new subjects - who, by the way, I have noticed use 'banter' completely unironically, which is kind of cute.

[Spikey M]

I was watching something the other day and an American said "wanker". It sounded ridiculous in that accent.

[Lewis]

Their attempt at twat - 'twot' - is just embarrassing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Twat doesn't work in their accent any more than 'asshole' works in ours, though god knows people seem to try. Arse arse arse, you plebs.

[Lewis]

I saw a suggestion recently that we should change/revert to speaking Welsh so that Americans can't comment on our affairs and/or drag us down with their cultural and societal AIDS, and, other than the personal reluctance to learn something new, it's hard to see a problem with the idea.

[Boydy]

Picked the wrong day to visit my folks this weekend because now I've got to watch this shit instead of the snooker.

[Lewis]

Even if you're a complete fanny I don't see why you wouldn't watch it as an interesting historical event.

[Lewis]

1383300704048017416

Giggles

[Queenslander]

Lol bottom Ireland is how's ya father

[Lewis]

They're seething in the replies [so they are]. It's probably a joint effort to turn their people against unification.

[Manc]

Small mentality.

[Queenslander]

Their your New Zealand

[Lewis]

They'll all have been watching it on their black and white tellies, fifteen to a house, looking out for anything remotely Irish (even just green things) as proof that we're obsessed with them.

[Queenslander]

Mate that is the south island of New Zealand

[niko_cee]

"The UK's Head of State"

:harold:

[Queenslander]

Lol

[Kikó]

1383413202210344968?s=19

This seems big news.

[Shindig]

I'm keeping my point and that's the end of it.